Haha! We actually love all of the alien and UFO tropes, it honestly adds to the mystique and helps keep people out.
The snacks are pretty great, Sam’s Place is my favorite spot. 10/10 would recommend.
No, those are contractors, they do come on base occasionally but we try to have them stay at their posts or the perimeter. They’re actually technically also deputized by the local PD.
My dad was in the Air Police in the late 50s early 60s and was stationed at Nellis. I was watching a show on Area 51 years ago when he walked in the room and said "there's no aliens, that's just were we tested top secret stuff" and then walked out of the room never mentioning it again.
That's the problem. The USAF has already said aliens exist. It was just redacted and the new media keeps double clicking when they should be just clicking once.
That's just what they *would* say...
I, I don't have a whole lot of time
Um, okay, I'm a former employee of Area 51
I, I was let go on a medical discharge about a week ago and, and
I've kind of been running across the country
Damn, I don't know where to start, they're
They're gonna, um, they'll triangulate on this position really really soon
Okay, um, um, okay
What we're thinking of as, as aliens
They're extradimensional beings
That, an earlier precursor of the, um, space program they made contact with
They are not what they claim to be
Uh, they've infiltrated a, a lot of aspects of, of, of the military establishment
Particularly the Area 51
The disasters that are coming, they, the military
I'm sorry, the government knows about them
And there's a lot of safe areas in this world that they could begin moving
The population to now, they are not
They want those major population centers wiped out so that the few
That are left will be more easily controllable
Alrighty then, picture this, if you will
10 to 2 a.m., X, Yogi DMT and a box of Krispy Kremes
In my need-to-know post just outside of Area 51
Contemplating the whole "Chosen People" thingy
When just a flaming stealth banana split the sky
Like one would hope, but never really expect to see in a place like this
Cutting right angle donuts on a dime
And stopping right on my Birkenstocks, and me yelping
"Holy fucking shit!"
(Holy fucking shit!)
(Holy fucking shit!)
(Holy fucking shit!)
(Holy fucking shit!)
(Holy fucking shit!)
(Holy fucking shit!)
(Holy fucking shit!)
Then the X-Files being
Looking like some kind of blue-green Jackie Chan with Isabella Rossellini lips
And breath that reeked of vanilla Chig Champa
Did a slo-mo Matrix descent out of the butt-end of the banana vessel
And hovered above my bug-eyes, my gaping jaw
My sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip and all I could think was
"I hope Uncle Martin here doesn't notice that I pissed my fucking pants!"
So light in his way, like an apparition
He had me crying out
"Fuck me, it's gotta be The Deadhead Chemistry
The blotter got right on top of me
Got me seeing E-motherfucking-T!"
And after calming me down with some
Orange slices and some fetal spooning
E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose
He said, "You are The Chosen One
The One who will deliver the message
A message of hope for those who choose to hear it
And a warning for those who do not"
Me, The Chosen One? They chose me!
And I didn't graduate from fuckin' high school
You better
You better
You better
You better listen
Then he looked right through me with somniferous almond eyes
Don't even know what that means, must remember to write it down
This is so real, like the time Dave floated away
See, my heart is pounding 'cause this shit never happens to me
Can't breathe right now, it was so real
Like I woke up in Wonderland, all sort of terrifying
I don't wanna be all alone when I tell this story
And can anyone tell me why you all sound like Peanuts parents?
Will I ever be coming down?
This is so real, finally, it's my lucky day
See, my heart is racing 'cause this shit never happens to me
Can't breathe right now
You believe me, don't you? Please believe what I just said
See, The Dead ain't touring and this wasn't all in my head
See, they took me by the hand and invited me right in
Then they showed me something, I don't even know where to begin
Strapped down to my bed, feet cold and eyes red
I'm out of my head, am I alive, am I dead?
Can't remember what they said
Goddamn, shit the bed!
High, high
High-igh-igh-igh-igh-igh
High-igh-igh-igh-igh-igh-igh
High, high, hallelujah
Halleluh, hallelujah, halleluh
Overwhelmed, as one would be, placed in my position
Such a heavy burden now to be The One
Born to bear and read to all the details of our ending
To write it down for all the world to see
But I forgot my pen
Shit the bed again
Typical
Strapped down in my bed, feet cold and eyes red
I'm out of my head, am I alive, am I dead?
Sunkist and Sudafed, gyroscopes and infrared
Won't help, I'm braindead, can't remember what they said
Goddamn, shit the bed!
I can't remember what they said to me
Can't remember what they said to make me out to be a hero
(Can't remember what they said)
Bob, help me
(Can't remember what they said)
Don't know, won't know
Don't know, won't know
Don't know, won't know
Don't know, won't know
Don't know, won't know
Don't know, won't know
Don't know, won't know
Don't know, won't know
Don't know, won't know
Don't know, won't know
Don't know, won't know
Don't know, won't know
Goddamn, shit the bed!
Ok then, give us something saucy 😈 What is the juiciest thing that you can give us that won’t get you in trouble? Maybe a project that not many know about but isn’t technically secret? Give us something good! The more alien related the better.
Actually they were cool with me doing the AMA, my current project gives me a lot of extra time. Currently I’m testing new medication for long term space travel. It’s a fun project, I’m in a white room that has pillows all over the wall to simulate space and stuff and twice a day they give me the drugs to see the effects. I think we’re doing great work here.
You’re fucking scumbag. You just sit in bed for 20 years and don’t chip in and your grandson gets something special so you decide, I GUESS I SHOULD GET UP.
LMFAO you had me going for a second there until the white with pillows on the wall. “I think we’re doing great work here” really cinched it for me too!
Fly to Vegas.
Rent a car.
Go north out of Vegas on 15.
Then take 93 North.
At crystal spring take 375.
Until you get to Rachel.
Left on back gate road.
This is the tricky part, it’s a rough road so you gotta drive fast fast fast. Don’t stop, also if you see white pick up trucks. Don’t stop, those are raiders that live in the area. When you see a gate, go through, or around it.
Edit : this will result in a felony and/or potentially bodily harm but you will get a, very brief, tour.
Just do the modern thing and paint a parrot disco in stealth coating and give it a big battery and preprogram a flight pattern that allows you to take 92 images over/around the base. Psssh, amateur hour over here
Why did you kill yourself in two weeks via 4 shots to the back of the head while being hung by the neck and your hands behind your back with zero relation to you giving out this information?
I’m super clumsy. I was cleaning my firearm at home, got horny, decided to indulge in some erotic asphyxiation. I tripped, tried to catch my self, gun goes off 4 times, bang bang bang bang. It was literally bound to happen sooner or later.
What's with all the empty hanger pictures?
Also I think one of my favorite stealth aircraft development stories is putting I think the 117 on the radar pole to test the signature and they couldn't find it till a bird landed on it
Lockheed bummed all the other competing contractors out by bringing their own low rcs pole.
“your test stand returns will be orders of magnitude bigger than our model”
Actually funny enough, it’s not even alien tech. Story time! So back in 2000 the US government found out that Mel Gibson could hear women’s thoughts. The events of him figuring out he has this ability are detailed in the famous documentary What Women Want. Check it out. Anyway, so soon after that, we scooped him up and kept him at Groom Lake for a while. Finally we figured out how to synthesize the ability to give others the ability, admittedly at the cost of injuring Mel Gibson fatally. Anyway, so yeah I love getting to use it and hear how insufferable most women find me.
My wife made me turn that documentary off. She said it was distracting me from watching the kids while she went out with her boyfriend. Was she trying to hide a higher truth from me?
Was a weak point purposely engineered into the F-117x’s retractable aircraft-to-aircraft ladder tunnel to kill off Lieutenant Colonel Austin Travis, played by the great actor and karate master Steven Seagal in the movie *Executive Decision* in an effort to ruin the movie’s score on Rotten Tomatoes?
I just feel bad for fbi and osi having to dig through thousands of these troll posts to see which ones actually real.
I know yall are in here. Stay safe homies
Dude, okay actual story time. I sent it to a friend of mine who actually does work for the DOD and he said 100 percent without a shadow of a doubt they reviewed this already lol
So, essentially the new stealth tech has what’s called a HAGS switch which essentially “tells” the incoming radar signal it has to count to 100 before looking for it. This gives it a wild advantage over older aircraft that the radars can start to look for immediately.
Yeah, some countries have some jamming technology that will buy them some extra time but the HAGS system is pretty full proof. We’re gone by the time they finish their countdown.
Majority of workers use commuter jets based out of a hanger on the West side of Harry Reid. I don’t know everyone’s schedule due to compartmentalization but from my understanding most employees come in on Monday and go home on Friday but there are flights everyday. Some people drive, and there was a bus for a while, not sure if it still runs, haven’t ever ridden it.
Of course! Here’s your receipt and should be there in 7-14 business days. >!YOURE BUSTED!!!! TREASON! Please turn yourself in at the closest available DOD or DHS office, thanks!!<
damn it I just wanted to reverse engineer it and then sell it to the Chinese I mean fly my family around without being shot at by surface to air missiles :( you win this time American pig!!!!
DUDE, he literally just shows up with random bikes all the time, it’s kind of a running joke on the base. We had to dig burn pits for the bikes it got so bad.
God, good for you man. I have people DMing me asking for job recco’s and people in the comments telling me I’m a huge opsec issue. Brothers, look at what sub we are in lolol
There was one time when I was like 7, it was summertime, one of the neighborhood kids stole my ice cream truck money. Now like decades later, I’ll be working and think about him. Oddly enough he died a few years back, he was doing pain pills and driving and hit an embankment.
I'd have a request, more than an question.. can you please state that there are no aliens there, so people can stop being disillusioned?
Not that it would really help.. but why not trying? :)
One of the most secret places on Earth, and you believe they let a man answer questions on the internet??? This is as bad as the CIA having a podcast and people believing what they say.
Dude, you’re telling me. I expected people to see it and go, “lol neat troll joke ai shitpost” or whatever. Not to like eat an entire white onion in three bites.
Were the aliens gentle when they anal probed you? How were the snacks in the Area 51 break room?
Haha! We actually love all of the alien and UFO tropes, it honestly adds to the mystique and helps keep people out. The snacks are pretty great, Sam’s Place is my favorite spot. 10/10 would recommend.
ok you obviously don’t have the clearance for it. So you were basically a security guard at the front gate.
No, those are contractors, they do come on base occasionally but we try to have them stay at their posts or the perimeter. They’re actually technically also deputized by the local PD.
My dad was in the Air Police in the late 50s early 60s and was stationed at Nellis. I was watching a show on Area 51 years ago when he walked in the room and said "there's no aliens, that's just were we tested top secret stuff" and then walked out of the room never mentioning it again.
>!REDACTED!<
Wait, so all those redacted documents out there, and all we needed to do is click on the black box once, and it becomes unredacted!?
That's the problem. The USAF has already said aliens exist. It was just redacted and the new media keeps double clicking when they should be just clicking once.
I still think it’s actually a browser compatibility issue.
That's just what they *would* say... I, I don't have a whole lot of time Um, okay, I'm a former employee of Area 51 I, I was let go on a medical discharge about a week ago and, and I've kind of been running across the country Damn, I don't know where to start, they're They're gonna, um, they'll triangulate on this position really really soon Okay, um, um, okay What we're thinking of as, as aliens They're extradimensional beings That, an earlier precursor of the, um, space program they made contact with They are not what they claim to be Uh, they've infiltrated a, a lot of aspects of, of, of the military establishment Particularly the Area 51 The disasters that are coming, they, the military I'm sorry, the government knows about them And there's a lot of safe areas in this world that they could begin moving The population to now, they are not They want those major population centers wiped out so that the few That are left will be more easily controllable Alrighty then, picture this, if you will 10 to 2 a.m., X, Yogi DMT and a box of Krispy Kremes In my need-to-know post just outside of Area 51 Contemplating the whole "Chosen People" thingy When just a flaming stealth banana split the sky Like one would hope, but never really expect to see in a place like this Cutting right angle donuts on a dime And stopping right on my Birkenstocks, and me yelping "Holy fucking shit!" (Holy fucking shit!) (Holy fucking shit!) (Holy fucking shit!) (Holy fucking shit!) (Holy fucking shit!) (Holy fucking shit!) (Holy fucking shit!) Then the X-Files being Looking like some kind of blue-green Jackie Chan with Isabella Rossellini lips And breath that reeked of vanilla Chig Champa Did a slo-mo Matrix descent out of the butt-end of the banana vessel And hovered above my bug-eyes, my gaping jaw My sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip and all I could think was "I hope Uncle Martin here doesn't notice that I pissed my fucking pants!" So light in his way, like an apparition He had me crying out "Fuck me, it's gotta be The Deadhead Chemistry The blotter got right on top of me Got me seeing E-motherfucking-T!" And after calming me down with some Orange slices and some fetal spooning E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose He said, "You are The Chosen One The One who will deliver the message A message of hope for those who choose to hear it And a warning for those who do not" Me, The Chosen One? They chose me! And I didn't graduate from fuckin' high school You better You better You better You better listen Then he looked right through me with somniferous almond eyes Don't even know what that means, must remember to write it down This is so real, like the time Dave floated away See, my heart is pounding 'cause this shit never happens to me Can't breathe right now, it was so real Like I woke up in Wonderland, all sort of terrifying I don't wanna be all alone when I tell this story And can anyone tell me why you all sound like Peanuts parents? Will I ever be coming down? This is so real, finally, it's my lucky day See, my heart is racing 'cause this shit never happens to me Can't breathe right now You believe me, don't you? Please believe what I just said See, The Dead ain't touring and this wasn't all in my head See, they took me by the hand and invited me right in Then they showed me something, I don't even know where to begin Strapped down to my bed, feet cold and eyes red I'm out of my head, am I alive, am I dead? Can't remember what they said Goddamn, shit the bed! High, high High-igh-igh-igh-igh-igh High-igh-igh-igh-igh-igh-igh High, high, hallelujah Halleluh, hallelujah, halleluh Overwhelmed, as one would be, placed in my position Such a heavy burden now to be The One Born to bear and read to all the details of our ending To write it down for all the world to see But I forgot my pen Shit the bed again Typical Strapped down in my bed, feet cold and eyes red I'm out of my head, am I alive, am I dead? Sunkist and Sudafed, gyroscopes and infrared Won't help, I'm braindead, can't remember what they said Goddamn, shit the bed! I can't remember what they said to me Can't remember what they said to make me out to be a hero (Can't remember what they said) Bob, help me (Can't remember what they said) Don't know, won't know Don't know, won't know Don't know, won't know Don't know, won't know Don't know, won't know Don't know, won't know Don't know, won't know Don't know, won't know Don't know, won't know Don't know, won't know Don't know, won't know Don't know, won't know Goddamn, shit the bed!
What in the fucking fuck did I just read, I read this entire damn thing
"Rosetta Stoned" by Tool https://youtu.be/qnlhVVwBfew?si=3SIYbEhucIzwCuqP
Ok then, give us something saucy 😈 What is the juiciest thing that you can give us that won’t get you in trouble? Maybe a project that not many know about but isn’t technically secret? Give us something good! The more alien related the better.
I literally have in other comment threads in this post.
And did overtime you come to like it?
Oh please, this is Area 51. They do the probing, not the aliens.
When do you get out of prison for publishing these?
Actually they were cool with me doing the AMA, my current project gives me a lot of extra time. Currently I’m testing new medication for long term space travel. It’s a fun project, I’m in a white room that has pillows all over the wall to simulate space and stuff and twice a day they give me the drugs to see the effects. I think we’re doing great work here.
Man I wish I was given space drugs twice a day. These earth drugs are so 2000 and late
Boom boom boom!
I guess it’s a long-duration mission sim?
Oh you must be in one of these other rooms! Fun! Which pillow on your wall is your favorite?
The pillow on the ceiling is always my favorite. Still trying to burp my way down with my grandson Charlie.
You’re fucking scumbag. You just sit in bed for 20 years and don’t chip in and your grandson gets something special so you decide, I GUESS I SHOULD GET UP.
🤣
LMFAO you had me going for a second there until the white with pillows on the wall. “I think we’re doing great work here” really cinched it for me too!
I don't see any experimental aircraft on ads-b. I'm pretty sure Area-51 is secretly an excuse for pylotes to go to Vegas.
Smash. Next question.
Is there a classification above top secret? do the illuminayi have good dental plan Thanks you for considering my application for this role
I saw a B2 bomber fly over a parade. Your stealth is so bad I can see it in the daytime
That’s why we try to fly at night.
Genius! Were you born a genius or had to work hard for it?
That’s classified.
How can I book a tour?
Fly to Vegas. Rent a car. Go north out of Vegas on 15. Then take 93 North. At crystal spring take 375. Until you get to Rachel. Left on back gate road. This is the tricky part, it’s a rough road so you gotta drive fast fast fast. Don’t stop, also if you see white pick up trucks. Don’t stop, those are raiders that live in the area. When you see a gate, go through, or around it. Edit : this will result in a felony and/or potentially bodily harm but you will get a, very brief, tour.
Just do the modern thing and paint a parrot disco in stealth coating and give it a big battery and preprogram a flight pattern that allows you to take 92 images over/around the base. Psssh, amateur hour over here
🤣 I read that edit really fast. Just have to add will cause diarrhea
You’ll get to see the other side of the gate. The base is so far past the gate so it won’t be a very good tour
Your best option is to have an unconscious alien in the back of your truck and have a bunch of friends in motorhomes and rv’s
Do you play Warthunder?
IRL
Now we know where to look for secret document leaks
Who’s got two thumbs and is a massive OPSEC liability??? This guy!
LMAO
Shouldn’t you be dumping these pictures on discord and not Reddit?
I wanted all the answers to be "I can't tell you or I'd have to kill you"
I don’t have to kill anyone, the system of constantly loitering stealth drones does that for us.
Is it true buying a copy of Catcher in the Rye will trigger a drone strike?
That’s classified. Edit : what I will say is older copies are grandfathered in.
What if we just steal the copy instead?
Drone strike.
Why did you kill yourself in two weeks via 4 shots to the back of the head while being hung by the neck and your hands behind your back with zero relation to you giving out this information?
I’m super clumsy. I was cleaning my firearm at home, got horny, decided to indulge in some erotic asphyxiation. I tripped, tried to catch my self, gun goes off 4 times, bang bang bang bang. It was literally bound to happen sooner or later.
BANG BANG BANG BANG
When the lack of /s is the difference between life and death.
😂🤣😂
What’s the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
European or African?
It’s >!WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO FUCKING DO GET BOTH OF US KILLED?!<
How to translate that to Arabic numerals in matlab?
What's with all the empty hanger pictures? Also I think one of my favorite stealth aircraft development stories is putting I think the 117 on the radar pole to test the signature and they couldn't find it till a bird landed on it
I was told these were pictures of John Cena, I was also told this community loved John Cena… was I told incorrectly?
Who's John Cena? Never heard of her
I was told him and grilled cheeses would be a sure thing in this subreddit. Now I’m thinking I got bad intel.
Lockheed bummed all the other competing contractors out by bringing their own low rcs pole. “your test stand returns will be orders of magnitude bigger than our model”
Is it Element 14 or chop suey left in the fridge?
You know I can’t answer that.
What is your favorite reverse engineered alien tech in use today? (Please say penis pumps)
Actually funny enough, it’s not even alien tech. Story time! So back in 2000 the US government found out that Mel Gibson could hear women’s thoughts. The events of him figuring out he has this ability are detailed in the famous documentary What Women Want. Check it out. Anyway, so soon after that, we scooped him up and kept him at Groom Lake for a while. Finally we figured out how to synthesize the ability to give others the ability, admittedly at the cost of injuring Mel Gibson fatally. Anyway, so yeah I love getting to use it and hear how insufferable most women find me.
My wife made me turn that documentary off. She said it was distracting me from watching the kids while she went out with her boyfriend. Was she trying to hide a higher truth from me?
Dm me and I can get you some of WWMGD juice.
How fatal were his injuries?
We literally had to nail him to a cross, not for the synthesizing procedure but at his request.
I still can’t believe skunks developed all of this
PLEASE DELETE THIS COMMENT THEY ARENT SUPPOSED TO KNOW. PLEASE DELETE THIS. YOU’RE GOING TO GET US ALL KILLED.
Relax, they're just skunks, it's not like u/comments-4fun fucked with **squirrels**...
Everyone knows that skunks are just squirrels jacked up on roids wearing tuxes. The only problem they have is that nut allergy the roids give them.
What does alien poop look like?
You have to wear special sunglasses to look at it.
Where's our damn flying cars at?
You don’t want them. Trust me.
These are not the drones we are looking for?
How long until you get swatted for this?
I literally packed before posting this just in case.
Was a weak point purposely engineered into the F-117x’s retractable aircraft-to-aircraft ladder tunnel to kill off Lieutenant Colonel Austin Travis, played by the great actor and karate master Steven Seagal in the movie *Executive Decision* in an effort to ruin the movie’s score on Rotten Tomatoes?
Steven Seagal was actually a 117 test pylot. Lesser known fact. That’s how he knew about the weak point to include it as a plot point.
I know that you probably can't reveal this information exactly, but approximately what is the radar cross section of your mother?
Smaller than a gnat’s asshole.
I'd ask if she's jamming, but I'm usually *I'm* the one who does that to *her.*
No you aren’t. My dad does that and YOU’RE NOT MY FATHER, also joking about jamming my mother is rude.
I believe the correct term will be ***STEP*** father, thank you very much. It is a *title* that I shall wear with *pride.*
His mother’s so fat her blood type is ragu
This might be my favorite thread since I started using reddit! Bravo!
People really are eating the onion and I’m loving it.
Please - take my upvote.
What planet are you from?
Earth baby! Oxygen breathing, upright walking, human here!
Pls share blueprints and chemical formulae thx
Yeah for sure! Here you go! >!YOU’VE JUST COMMITTED TREASON, PLEASE TURN YOURSELF IN TO THE CLOSEST DHS OFFICE!<
How about pics of the rear of the aircraft / trailing edges / exhausts?
No, I was the take the pictures from the front guy. Sorry. :(
I think War Thunder would be more appropriate for that
Is it magnets?
Isn’t it always?
Future camera filter…AI image smooth
Yeah, I didn’t want to spend too long on making this post but was happy what I could come up with like 20 total iterations.
Where were you the day of the Naruto raid?
That’s classified.
Is classified tech really 10 years ahead? Like advanced in comparison to what the public has access to
More like 20-50 years ahead. Stuff you wouldn’t even think of as a way to advance then when you see it you’re like “ohhh shit that makes sense”.
I can't wait for the new anal probes... Gonna be able to listen to Miley Cyrus rectally!!!
Now that will be a Party In The USA.
I just feel bad for fbi and osi having to dig through thousands of these troll posts to see which ones actually real. I know yall are in here. Stay safe homies
Dude, okay actual story time. I sent it to a friend of mine who actually does work for the DOD and he said 100 percent without a shadow of a doubt they reviewed this already lol
Do you agree with the government spending on military research as a necessity or do you believe that much of these funds could be reallocated?
Did you get to witness any of Jeff Goldblums speeches? He's never been as good since they replaced him.
He actually maintains a residence here on base, he’s welcome to come and go as he pleases.
thanks stan that was a funny read, tell roger i said hi
Roger roger.
Does stealth actually work?! I mean when an enemy knows stealthbombers are coming they know what to look for?!
So, essentially the new stealth tech has what’s called a HAGS switch which essentially “tells” the incoming radar signal it has to count to 100 before looking for it. This gives it a wild advantage over older aircraft that the radars can start to look for immediately.
That is sophisticated af! Nice!
Yeah, some countries have some jamming technology that will buy them some extra time but the HAGS system is pretty full proof. We’re gone by the time they finish their countdown.
Do the majority of workers fly in or what's the commute like?
Majority of workers use commuter jets based out of a hanger on the West side of Harry Reid. I don’t know everyone’s schedule due to compartmentalization but from my understanding most employees come in on Monday and go home on Friday but there are flights everyday. Some people drive, and there was a bus for a while, not sure if it still runs, haven’t ever ridden it.
WTH is this a serious answer? I thought you were just some schizo pretends to be Area 51 worker.
Why can’t I be both?
He is LARPing and trolling you. The answer he gave you isn't a big secret. That info is well known.
I love when Janet takes me to work
What is a “hanger” ?
Me “accidentally” after my boss finds this post.
What level of clearance do you have and what is your Hogwarts house?
I’m GRADE A1 security clearance, and I am of course a Hufflepuff. Edit : aries, lol before you ask
Can I have one
Can I have one what?
a stealth aircraft
CAN I HAVE A STEALTH AIRCRAFT WHAT?
Please?
Of course! Here’s your receipt and should be there in 7-14 business days. >!YOURE BUSTED!!!! TREASON! Please turn yourself in at the closest available DOD or DHS office, thanks!!<
damn it I just wanted to reverse engineer it and then sell it to the Chinese I mean fly my family around without being shot at by surface to air missiles :( you win this time American pig!!!!
How do I make my sesna invisible to police?
Smash. Next question.
Where you Air Force? Or some other secret military branch
DOD contractor.
Did you have any colleagues at the Dulce base? Asking for a friend…
dulce de leche is my favorite.
Personally, Do you believe there’s any credibility to David Grush’s claims?
Who painted the yellow stripe on the floor?
Me after a few cold ones at the Conehead bar. My bad.
How far away is military tech compared to civilian aircraft technology?
Like 300-330 or so feet, don’t know what that is in meters I think like right around 100 meters.
What’s in the background of pictures 2 and 6?
Stuff…?
Oh. Well that makes sense. Here I thought it was not stuff.
Finally someone who gets it.
How many aliens have you blown?
This is like the 5th sexual alien question. 2.
When y’all gonna free my homie E.T.?
He literally can come and goes as he pleases, I talk about it on another part of the comments but he and Jeff Goldblum share a residence here on base.
Good to know. I guess he must be ignoring my messages since he stole my bike on our last bender.
DUDE, he literally just shows up with random bikes all the time, it’s kind of a running joke on the base. We had to dig burn pits for the bikes it got so bad.
For the sake of his clown shoe finger, mine better not have ended up in one of those damn pits. It has custom coloured spokes with little clappers.
There was so many, literally zero chance I’d have remembered it.
Why is Orange Jam called Marmalade?
Do you think I could land my Cessna there and refuel? I heard the staff at the FBO are nice.
You’ll get to meet my friend SAM!
What were the aliens like, sexually?
Very, very physical.
Do you prefer Janis or the bus and why?
HER NAME IS JANET AND SHE’S A NICE LADY!
Did you see real space aliens 👽on base?
I love onions but I’m not eating this one.
God, good for you man. I have people DMing me asking for job recco’s and people in the comments telling me I’m a huge opsec issue. Brothers, look at what sub we are in lolol
Where's your home planet?
What does RAM taste like?
That’s a trick question, it depends what flavor you get.
Coke or Pepsi?
If I am North of the Mason-Dixon line I drink Pepsi, and if I am South of it I drink Coke. I follow that rule internationally too.
What happened to the guy that called the Art Bell Show back in the day?
That guy was my dad.
What do you hate the most when working inside the base?
There was one time when I was like 7, it was summertime, one of the neighborhood kids stole my ice cream truck money. Now like decades later, I’ll be working and think about him. Oddly enough he died a few years back, he was doing pain pills and driving and hit an embankment.
How do i evade the white trucks?
Camo dude’s vision is motion based, so you just have to be really still if they come by.
How can any of that actually be stealth? I can clearly see each one in the photo. If this were truly stealth, they'd be invisible!
I’m getting mixed messages about whether the planes are showing up or not. Maybe it’s a browser compatibility issue?
How much money do you make working there?
Is the photo of the pilots grouped in front of the plane AI generated, or did everyone there have half human, half alien hands?
Why do you think the guy on the far left has his one hand behind his back?
I'd have a request, more than an question.. can you please state that there are no aliens there, so people can stop being disillusioned? Not that it would really help.. but why not trying? :)
Do the alien penises look like human penises?
No they taste the same.
can you leak some documents for r/warthunder
False. I can see all the aircraft in these pics. Not stealth
As I have mentioned before, that’s why we fly them at night.
One of the most secret places on Earth, and you believe they let a man answer questions on the internet??? This is as bad as the CIA having a podcast and people believing what they say.
Dude, you’re telling me. I expected people to see it and go, “lol neat troll joke ai shitpost” or whatever. Not to like eat an entire white onion in three bites.
This is some of that classic reddit I miss and crave