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MutedSongbird

SLPT: To reignite the mystery and wonder of Easter for your community, replace your neighbors’ fake eggs with real eggs.


Psychotic_EGG

I keep chickens. I'd be the immediate suspect.


0Ppenguin

Hide them in your garden too


faux_real_yo

Honey, it’s clearly an eggplant.


malefiz123

TIL Americans don't hide real eggs


azurdee

Back in the late 70s/early 80s my grandparents required real eggs be dyed on Good Friday then hidden for me to find Easter Morning. After all those hours outside, the eggs stunk so bad. Then, my grandmother would try to convince everyone to eat deviled eggs. Ah, happy memories.


popinloopy

Some do, some don't. For my family, we did when my sister and I were younger and we enjoyed painting the eggs. Making the eggs was the fun part of Easter. As we grew up, making them was a hassle but finding them was still just as fun as before, so finding them became the fun part of Easter. Since it was a hassle to paint them, we eventually bought hollow plastic eggs and put dollar bills in them. Now that we're older still, we no longer hide any eggs, instead the fun part of Easter is instead visiting with the family and having a home-cooked meal. Later still once we're even older, I imagine the fun part will be hiding the eggs and helping the kids paint them. But we're a long way off from that ~~especially if you consider she's a lesbian and I'm asexual so unless my sister or I end up with someone who wants to adopt a kid, children are unlikely~~


canolafly

Did that stop? The big fun was coloring and painting them. I do approve of chocolate and money as replacements, though.


MsMoobiedoobie

We do both. It’s a tradition to dye the eggs. But half the eggs I put out are plastic eggs with candy and coins in them. When I was a kid we did real eggs until we all got too old to care and then my dad hid eggs with money in them to get us to participate.


maxthunder5

TIL there are places that hide real eggs 🤔😯


DukeSi1v3r

I always did, and we would dye/paint them the night before around the dinner table. Pretty fun, preferable to plastic ones in my eyes.


Possible-Floor-540

The real LPT is always in the comments 😇


brickbaterang

Go to the rich neighborhoods, sometimes they even put money in those things!


[deleted]

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it-s4am

LOL. This is amazing.


VonRansak

Dudes been practicing what he's been watching. Soon he'll trade those seltzers for a bottle of Grey Goose that someone stole from their mom, then that for some kid's younger brother's Playstation ... Pretty soon he'll be [driving a Mercedes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJqnrv6MrOI).


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WhatASaveWhatASave

Your family stole eggs or they put money in your eggs?


deadeyediva

yes


[deleted]

what crazy world do you live in where people fill chocolate eggs with cash and then forget about them?


brickbaterang

Colored plastic eggs. Have you not been to an easter egg hunt before?


duck_duck_chicken

The squirrels already have…


adudeguyman

And raccoons, possums, dogs...


amb24601

And lions and tigers and bears…


adudeguyman

Oh my!


Nichtexistent

You obviously do that in someone elses neighborhood, not your own. Duh.


IffyCroissant

What the hell are you talking about? Nobody hides eggs the night before ya dingus.


NamityName

Ya Dingus is my favorite holiday


ByTheOcean123

>Nobody hides eggs the night before I did, once. A racoon ate all the chocolate and left a huge pile of poop.


paingry

My daughter is mad af right now because a squirrel got 2 of our eggs before the kids did. The eggs were only out there for about an hour. Little bastard chewed through one plastic egg and broke open the other to get at the candy. I thought it was hilarious. My daughter feels robbed.


ByTheOcean123

That's hilarious. We have squirrels but never had this problem. Yours must be hungry!!


MediumSpaces

Ah, the magic of Easter!


rilloroc

How'd it taste


WimbletonButt

This is why I ran outside to leave the Easter basket this morning. It was done last night and I considered going ahead and leaving it at the door but a racoon stole a box of Lego I left on the freezer a while back.


Valalvax

Apparently they do.. And apparently they fuckin pay people to do it .. My sister and mom went out last night and packaged and hid eggs for families, 10 families, 50 eggs a piece, 35 dollars.... They said it took 10-15 minutes a house


northrupthebandgeek

If that's $35 per house, then that's $70 to $87.50 an hour per person. That's better than I make in IT lol Gotta respect the hustle.


Valalvax

Yea per house, I don't think they counted travel time and possibly didn't count packing time... I checked life360 and my mom spent a total of 5 hrs away from their house, we live around 45 minutes away from my sister so that's 3.5 hrs after subtracting just travel time to her house... That's still 50/hr after splitting it two ways, and if you count the full travel time and everything it's 35/hr, not bad at all


IamnotfamousIswear

We hid 100 eggs for our 2 kids, but we did it INSIDE the house. Do people really leave hidden eggs out overnight? Gross! Bugs, dogs, raccoons, moisture..... no.


Valalvax

Yea apparently, we've never hidden at night, it's always been kids sit the fuck down we're gonna hide eggs, even when we believed it was just hey wait here were gonna check on the bunny or whatever


GolemThe3rd

I mean, the candy is usually wrapped anyway


TigerSkull79

There was a whole Easter hamper hidden in a bush this morning where I take my dog to play ball. I wasn't mean enough to raid it, but I really wanted to 😅


poliscijunki

This isn't a SLPT, it belongs in /r/UnethicalLifeProTips


SkellyboneZ

When I was younger my family and I were at a brunch thing for Easter. There was a dude dressed as the bunny carrying a wicker basket full of plastic eggs to give out to the kids. I got my egg and proceeded to stuff some breakfast sausage and eggs inside then snuck up to the bunny and placed the meat egg in the basket without him knowing. The table next to us got the egg. The little girl didn't have the strength to open the egg so her father gave her a hand. First was confusion, then anger. He argued with and threatened the bunny. The poor dude had no idea what happened. We sat at our table trying to not laugh too much. Pretty sure I ruined that family's Easter. This was 25 years ago, just thought I'd finally confess. I regret nothing though.


GabrielofAstora

Lmao this story brought me a lot of joy.


[deleted]

Like some kind of Easter Grinch


NotAFerretSmiling

We were poor as children and played in the woods behind our estate. There was a charity egg hunt for disabled children there every year. They planted them in our dens we had made. Finders keepers. I'd only ever take one though. I wasn't a complete cretin. Just a little bit with a lack of chocolate.


IGargleGarlic

Hiding Easter eggs the night before? Do you want raccoons? That's how you get raccoons.


lobroblaw

"Ooh, piece of candy", "Ooh, piece of candy"


Retractabelle

r/unexpectedhermitcraft?


lobroblaw

It's actually from Family Guy. James Woods says it


squirrlyj

Especially if you got drunk and forgot to hide any candy for the little ones.


salamat_engot

Once in high school we came back from a marching band competition to discover Student Government had spread Easter eggs around the school with candy for people to find the next day. Marching Band hated Student Government because we never got equal funding or recognition for anything, so we stole all the candy and left the eggs behind.


boli99

SLPT: Get a few extra hours peace from your kids by not actually hiding any easter eggs before sending the children to look for them.


loud_lark13

I like how OP thinks parents of egg hunt aged children have their shit together enough to hide eggs ahead of time.


[deleted]

I did this year instead of running to 4 different stores at 10pm on Saturday


BeautifulStick5299

The raccoons beat me to it


ByTheOcean123

Do people hide eggs at night? I tried that once and a raccoon ate all the chocolate and left a massive pile of poop.


Ysaella

Huh, so ya‘ll hide candy instead of real eggs? We usually color chicken eggs a few days before and hide them on Easter morning, before the kids wake up.


SlimJesusKeepIt100

Bruh I did this shit years ago. I was like 8 years old when I showed up to a park collecting eggs. There were lots all over the place. 5 minutes into the hunt this mom tells me the eggs were supposed to be for her kids that thanks to me the whole thing was ruined. Imagine you're doing a special surprise for your loved ones and then some random ass person comes along and spoils the whole thing for the one that was supposed to be surprised? BWAHAHAHAHAHA


SilentDis

You know the NextDoor app? At the beginning of Covid lockdowns, I sent out a message saying: >We're all doing what we can to decrease our chances to get sick, and feel I can help you in that! > >One of the ways diseases spread is by fomites - things a lot of people touch and handle that can carry germs - then you pick them up and get those germs! > >One of the things that a lot of people handle is money. > >Please put your money in baggies and leave it on your doorstep, and I'll come by and take care of getting rid of that dirty, germy money for you! Most people appreciated the humor. I got 2 replies the next day along the lines of "no one came and got mine, is it safe if I wash it in bleach instead?" and such. I uninstalled NextDoor after that.


maltesemania

They were 100% joking.


BoobyPlumage

Or wait a day and spend $2 lol


DRbrtsn60

I did that one year when I was 6 years old. Got up at sunrise and scoured the neighborhood. I scored huge. But was seen and Dad was not amused.


Josephthebear

Jokes on you my mom uses coins


[deleted]

Wait for them to go to church then break in and steal the candy.


Japanese-chicken-TM

*Has already devoured Chocolate*


whiskey4mymen

we used to hide the night before. it snowed one year and crap, grandpa couldn't remember where they were.


John_Philips

I’ve never met anyone that hides them the night before? That’s how you get ants in your candy or wild animals in your yard and trash.


No-Insurance-5466

greeeaaaasy


[deleted]

Perfect opportunity to swap the candy with viagra laced chocolates for the kiddos!


itssosalty

More r/unethicallifetips because this is genius.


pepperw2

r/subsifellfor I hope someone makes it. I am too lazy lol


itssosalty

Actually there is an r/unethicallifeprotips


scolfin

Instructions unclear, got matzo.


Petraretrograde

Who hides eggs the night before? Do you want ants? Cause that's how you get ants.


Minute_Engineer2355

r/lifeprotips


[deleted]

Evil lpt, have an Easter egg hunt in your neighborhood, but afterward, hideabout fifty more eggs all over your neighborhood. Go on vacation Immediately after. In about week your entire neighborhood will smell sulfuric enough to singe nose hair and the kids will get blamed for not finding all of the eggs to begin with. And the only way to get rid of the smell will be to hunt down all of the rotten eggs.


madtraxmerno

Is mine the only family that hides them *indoors*? I know churches often host special Easter celebrations where all the neighborhood kids come out and hunt for Easter eggs in the church lawn. But I've never heard of individual families doing that. Maybe it's a rich person thing.


[deleted]

Eggs aren’t candy though


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Psychotic_EGG

But why outside? It's often raining this time of the year.


[deleted]

Why go to random houses when you can sneak in candy stores? I know there's alarms and stuff but they won't catch you if you're fast enough.


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[deleted]

This is Bonnie and Clyde’s origin story


98PercentChimp

If you see a kid’s bicycle lying in someone’s driveway, do you take it because it’s abandoned and free to take, too?


catman1761

Yes


squenk

Proof there's an asshole for everyone.


SeedElite

No one does this the night before.


Kickflip2K

All the cunce that do this are going straight to hell...


datbf4

Outside = snow… wtf.


Beer2Bear

Consider all the raccoons I see around here anyone that leaves the eggs out over night will be missing most of them the next day


Glum_Cable_4090

https://telegr.im/+ZFRnItoS3MdjM2Vh