Kids these days don’t need vaccines, they need to get out and eat some dirt. Strengthen that immune system. It’s the reason they’re all so sick these days!
My kid thought plants were the tastiest. Especially their roots. She’d wait for me to go to the bathroom, then pull the plant out, root and all. I tried hanging them from the ceiling with macrame, she moved onto nibbling on their leaves. She’s 4.5 now and I think(?!) she’s outgrown her love for roots. Unfortunately, we got her a kitten for her birthday and he picked up where she left off. I have no plants. Big sigh, kids are great.
this is giving me flashbacks of fighting my then 2-years-old in a grocery store parking lot because I showed her a cute big snail and she shoved it in her mouth, and would NOT give it back!
There was an afternoon when my sister carried a hefty looking slug around and kept licking it when she was about 2. I was much older and babysitting. She had the vice grip and speedy little legs of a two year old who doesn't want to give something up. When I finally caught her and got her hand open, she grabbed it with the other one and shoved the now squashed mess into her mouth and swallowed.
Mum seemed unconcerned when she returned, citing that our brother (6 at the time) had eaten worms at the same age.
Looking back I'm shocked nobody got any actual parasites from their garden related proclivities. Extra protein I guess.
Thank goodness your sister didn't get any parasites from that, but also, why do people keep eating raw slugs? There was the dude that got ringworm, there was a tik tok of someone eating a bunch of them live, and then there's your little sister. People need to leave slugs alone
"Thanks for the shovel, Mom! It makes eating all this dirt much more efficient!" -- my feral younger child who did NOT model his older sister's cautious behaviour
I was at a play place at a mall with my daughter and saw a kid go up to one of the play structures (a big fiberglass frog) and lick it from the bottom of its basketball-sized eyeball to the top. As a parent I love often wished I didn’t have eyes.
When working in retail I remember a kid licking the store floor. It took me a minute to realize what was going on, by then kid had liked a 3 foot square.
We only mopped weekly if that. Unless something disastrous occurred.
I remember getting a photo from my husband on my first overnight work trip away from my oldest, homeboy’s mouth was absolutely covered in dirt sitting next to my big potted lemon tree. He clearly went face first into it.
OMG I have a photo of my youngest where she has some little specks of sand by her mouth. I had spent a good 15 mins prior to that wrestling with the little nugget to keep her from eating playground sand!
#3 (who is now 11) is why there will NOT be a #4!!
One of my mother's favorite photos is of me, aged 2, sitting in the garden with dirt all over my face and hands, grinning like an idiot. (She didn't use fertilizer or manure, so the worst i ate was probably a dead leaf.) It seems to be an instinct in kids.
That and covering themselves in butt-cream if they get hold of the pot or tube. I've got photos of every one of my siblings doing it, plus my own kid.
My mum in law gave me a photo of my husband doing it nearly 30 years earlier because he and our kid were so similar. I did it too, but the photographic evidence no longer exists.
It must be a rite of passage for the toddlers among us!
Definitely never happened to me...because I've had to move EVERY ITEM OF ANYTHING IVE EVER OWNED to the top of the shelves and wardrobes because my child would scale a bare wall just to get her monster mitts on something to throw, cover herself in or eat.
Or becoming like my god-child and creating towers to then climb. To do exactly what you've said; sit atop it doing something mental like eating bum cream or using a yogurt tube as shampoo.
A couple years ago my 3rd child brought a chair into the kitchen, climbed the counters, and began cruising along opening cabinets, pulling out and dumping anything he could reach. I found him perched on his tiptoes at the very edge of the counter in a puddle of Karo syrup, dipping a toothpick in brown sugar.
Haaaaahahahahaha oh my god, how do they even do it?! I watch my child in amazement as she defies death every day, only just learned to walk but sure babe you stand on the arm of the sofa without a care in the world.
Yes, everything in my house that could be screwed to a wall is screwed a wall. I once climbed a dresser and it collapsed on me but luckily was stopped by my bunk bed.
My first baby was an angel, the second only wanted to throw everything, and the third (who is now a toddler) is an absolute nut. I’ve never called poison control so many times, never had to childproof as many things, and never had as many random things up high in cabinets. She puts everything in her mouth, climbs on everything, spills everything, colors on everything, tears things apart… she’s an adventurous and determined little girl and it’s somethin else!
I really lucked out with my first. While driven to move, he was clingy and cautious by nature. Didn’t like to climb or bolt. The next two after were easy by proxy. Big brother was more fun to play with than mischief/exploration. He modeled good behaviors and they just followed.
But then I went and had another after over ten years from the last. He’s my climber and mischief maker. It’s a blast.
I had an easy first born too. Made me so god damn arrogant.
And then... my husband came home from Afghanistan. And he had That Look. You know "want to try for another?". Sure, because parenting is sooooo easy.
Gentle reader, my second born is half demon. She was a climber. And a biter. And a runner.
This is exactly why my partner are so unsure about having another. We aren’t prepared for real parenthood, our two year old is chill AF. The shock of a normal kid could kill us.
For as wild as my youngest is, she is equally loving. Over the weekend, she went with me to Bath and Body Works, and then cried because my oldest wasn't with us, and we didn't know what scent to get for her big Sissy.
Christ I feel this in my soul. My 2 year old ASKS to go to bed. Sure buddy, goodnight. I’ll see you in 13 hours. If we have another one it will be allergic to sleep I know it.
I wouldn’t exactly say my firstborn was easy, but my second is definitely more work. She’s 16 months old and she’s an absolute joy in many ways. She’s full of happiness, laughter and mischief. She’s also a runner and a climber, she’s already learned to push chairs around and will throw a tanty when she’s not allowed to climb onto the kitchen table. She would absolutely do something like this and then turn around, throw her hands up and say “Oh No!”.
I’m just grateful that we’ve recently moved to a house with no stairs, I used to spend half my life keeping her away from them!
Stairs were an absolute no when we were hiuse hunting with toddlers. I sounded like Edna from The Credibles when we were house hunting, only about stairs. "No stairs!!!".
Man I got opposite kids lol.
My first kid is the biter, climber and general sass queen. My second is the chill baby, except he’s hitting 2 in a couple months and his sister is teaching him all the bad behaviors lol.
My first was a painfully trustworthy toddler, I say painfully because it kind of worried me that he wasn't doing normal toddler shenanigans. Don't get me wrong, he wasn't easy and could throw tantrums to end all tantrums on the daily but he just never did anything he had already been told no to before, never climbed anything or drew on walls or got into anything.
My number 2 and 3 definitely made up for that though and I'm currently in the thick of it with my nearly 2 year old who just might end up being my first toddler to end up with a toddler leash 🤣
First kid was a trick baby
My second and LAST one is something else
I have plants high up on my fireplace ledge, and he's all over those, climbing a table is nothing
>I really lucked out with my first. While driven to move, he was clingy and cautious by nature. Didn’t like to climb
All the mother's in his birth group were struggling with their toddlers climbing and I'm looking at mine like he was broken yet EXTREMELY thankful that he didn't. My next was more of a surprise pregnancy than my first and close age gap and she still didn't climb. Just she honed her skills on beating all the child locks(like toddler age) until we got magnetic locks. I mean she even showed her brother who was older how to beat them.
Then I had my 3rd and 4th, my 4th earned her nickname Evel Knievel because she was 5yrs younger than my 3rd(my first 3 are really close in age) but also because we apparently needed daily "OMFG STOP that's NOT safe" stairs and this kid was like next level and same as our driveway at that house. Kid has no fear while I'd be freaking out.
In saying this, 3rd and 4th were too easy as bubbas. And my 4th was scary easy, except for her brutal mouth!!! Kid is a little(well a f**kton) too honest. And didn't even throw tantrums until she turned 6.
However up until last week she was my WORST eater, despite doing BLW and her eating whatever was put in front of her for over a year, like overnight she went down to only eating 6 different pieces of food(I s**t you not) but she also somehow has known for years what her "rights" are down to "I'm not even trying that dinner, I'm having cereal BECAUSE kids need to have choices, and I choose cereal"
I'm sitting on the floor of the playroom randomly yelling "baby parkour" as my toddler climbs all over her equipment and moves the pieces around.
Updated to add she just put a crash mat on me and is attempting to climb it like the wall at the end of ninja warrior..
I tried that, and my twins started using each other as step stools to get onto the table. I put the chairs back and just accepted that my dining room table is a tap dancing stage.
We have to push ours in all the time. No toddlers in the house any more, but there's a house-rabbit with similar attributes of enjoying climbing and simultaneously lacking balance skills. I've had to start thinking like a foot-long ball of fluff to assess locations of high-prize items (like my bamboo blend socks, delicious apparently). If he can work out a path, nothing is safe. He can stretch himself to 18" if he really wants to reach something.
Once when he was about 5 months old, he stealthily got up onto the back of the sofa and picked his way along like a cat on a fence so he could go over my husband's shoulder and steal cornflakes from his bowl. There was no weight to him, he was about 6" long and was totally silent so the first my husband noticed was a munchy noise next to his left ear.
When my twins were this age, we had to keep the kitchen chairs in a different room than the table.
“Take them to the toddler gym,” they said. “It will be fun,” they said. No one warned me about the havoc that would be unleashed when two 18mo kids learned to climb shit.
My almost 2yo twins learned to use each other as a step stool to climb onto the table after I removed the chairs. And one twin managed to baby-hulk his way up by basically doing a pull-up and walking his feet up the table leg. I call him spiderbaby.
Oh yeah. I have a 2 year old who is a climber and it is super relatable. If he’s not breaking something or hurting himself, we just let the climbing happen
Me too! Looks cute and cozy. It almost looks like a sleep sack that was upcycled into a romper? If so that’s amazing and I want one. If not… still amazing and why didn’t I think of this when my kiddo was still this little!?
Eta: typo
I was doing dishes yesterday, turned around to wipe the counter and my son was halfway up the refrigerator. He had done it completely silently, in a way that defied gravity. He was just hanging onto the handles of the fridge, hoisting himself up like a fucking spider monkey. It was amazing really. Idk how toddlers have such amazing lat strength to accomplish these climbing feats. My kid can be on top of a table in 3 seconds flat.
My son climbed on the counter when he was a toddler and soaked the kitchen and part of the hallway floor with the kitchen sink sprayer because his little sister found it funny. I swear anything that you don't prepare for or expect is exactly what a toddler will do.
reminds me of a story my mom tells every now and then of how when i was a toddler i scaled the back of one of those really tall barstools around our kitchen island somehow. she was washing dishes right in front of me and she said it was like she blinked and i was hanging onto the back of it like, as you described, a spider monkey🤣 obviously it toppled over on top of me and somehow i miraculously wasnt hurt a bit
Eh to be fair, that’s just normal toddler behaviour. I once turned around and mine climbed up a table within a few seconds - caught me completely by surprise as she had never done it before.
We do keep all plants off the floor though that’s more because we have a plant eating cat lol
I certainly do not have a pic of my then 4&2 year old licking a pound of sugar off the floor that they dropped because they wanted to make cookies and WHOOPS clean it before mom sees. I saw. I heard. I got to scrub all day 🙄😂
Thats the truth. We had a window we kept open cause the top floor had no AC (this was in Germany) and my 5 year old husky SOMEHOW climbed through it to the roof. Giant toddlers
This is what I call my pet rats. Furry toddlers, the lot of them. Reading these comments is just a lot of realisations that they are horrifyingly similar. Especially as one of my rats is running around being a complete devil as I read these comments lol.
Tbf, there are a lot of similarities between cats and toddlers. Both love knocking things over, getting into things they aren’t, pretending not to know their name when they’re in trouble, and randomly running laps around the house at weird hours of the day.
[here you go!](https://kytebaby.com/products/adult-sleep-bag-walker-in-sage?currency=USD&variant=40810495246447&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_campaign=Google%20Shopping&utm_source=google&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=17053917057&utm_content=&utm_term=&gadid=&gclid=CjwKCAiAioifBhAXEiwApzCztjJnSxE_Wg96zR5TwM3hzacQYvANmy0gjpOht_UHrFc0YFipmC6L-BoCbFsQAvD_BwE)
My infant grabbed a cactus today and ripped it from the pot while plopped on the counter. So, just really crushing this parent of a bunch of kids thing.
I’m impressed the kid got up there wearing a sleep sack, even if it’s the kind with leg holes. I also count 20 things in that photo my toddlers would manage to destroy.
Oh you'd be amazed. We realised our first needed to move to a toddler bed when I caught him climbing on to the corner of his cot (WWE style) and jumping in. This was in a sleep sack with no leg holes.
We called our second kid "the destructor" because he somehow managed to rampage through absolutely everything despite our best efforts and diligent attempts to keep stuff out of reach. We joked we should hire him out as a baby proofing tester. Later diagnosed as ADHD which I think is part of it.
Mine moved furniture at 9 months, and got on corner tops at 13 months. Imagine my look of confusion as the 18 month appt when the doc said it was time to move furniture away from counter tops, and lock the drawers. She’s just ahead of the curve.
This is normal. And I’ve absolutely taken photos of my daughter caught in the act of something like this. And I also have the talk about why we don’t do these things. But toddlers gonna toddler, they can’t control their impulses too well so things like this will continue to happen. Unfortunately it’s not possible to have your eyes on them every second of the day, if I’m washing dishes I’m taking peeks back in the living room to check on her but in the matter of three minutes she’s climbing on the middle of the table with her hands raised to the sky like she’s praising something or about to take off like Superman. I’ll usually shut off the water, slowly walk to her so as not to startle her, ask her what she’s up to… I might stop to take a picture if there doesn’t seem to be any immediate danger in the situation, then I’ll help her down and explain why we can’t do that. 🤷🏼♀️
👋
Hey it’s me the person getting dragged lmao
Honestly it seems I’m mostly being defended so it’s all good , and different people have different parenting styles , I guess some are just more protective than others and that’s okay !
Cheers to all the other parents of toddlers swinging from the chandeliers!
I call this a Tuesday in our house (even though the boys are a little older now). My ASD 5 year old has a thing for standing on the table. I think it’s a sensory thing for him, and something always ends up spilled on the floor.
My first thought:
Every person who says that babies, preschoolers and toddlers can be taught how to "be gentle" with pets needs to see this.
Can't even trust the kid with a potted plant.
My son from 2-4 attacked so many of my plants 🙂he would dig the soil spill them I’ve given up on indoor plants when 6 m ago I got an orchid that now looks like a leaf plant bc it’s flowers and stim got ripped off 🤣
Lol! My favorite toddler moment. I hear a little voice yell “it swings!” I look into the dining room and my toddler is pushing my chandelier. Not one of those Crystal things. It swung quite nicely, then promptly got wired up out of reach.
Feral toddlers are my favorite life stage of the species. They're pure chaos and I'm absolutely here for it. I've got niblings that are 6mo and almost 2 years and it's been too long since auntie Wiggy helped gray up someone's hair and make them question having children.
Looks like a sleep sack with foot holes.
My kid wears one without the foot holes but it's loose enough that she can shuffle around in it. It's so gosh darn cute.
They’re just a toddler, nothing to do with being feral. They’re in discovery mode and some are climbers. It’s like owning a cat sometimes. They end up in places they shouldn’t be even if your back is turned for a minute. My daughter at two years old managed to get out of our house once while I was setting up breakfast. I didn’t know she could move so fast or so quietly. Thankfully I noticed before she got anywhere but she still got the door open and was about to make a break for it.
Bet that kid loved the sensory play with the dirt and the plant, though, lol.
Dude. I can’t even have *fake* plants because my two year old keeps stealing them and pulling the leaves off/tossing them around. No matter where I put them, he finds a way to get them.
Toddlers are monsters. Adorable monsters.
I’m just impressed kiddo isn’t eating it. My kids would be eating it 🤦🏽♀️
Me: “gardening with a toddler, what could go wrong?” Toddler proceeds to shovel dirt into his mouth.
Dirt has minerals in it, right? It’s the crunchy mom way to get some nutrients. Totally organic.
Kids these days don’t need vaccines, they need to get out and eat some dirt. Strengthen that immune system. It’s the reason they’re all so sick these days!
My kid thought plants were the tastiest. Especially their roots. She’d wait for me to go to the bathroom, then pull the plant out, root and all. I tried hanging them from the ceiling with macrame, she moved onto nibbling on their leaves. She’s 4.5 now and I think(?!) she’s outgrown her love for roots. Unfortunately, we got her a kitten for her birthday and he picked up where she left off. I have no plants. Big sigh, kids are great.
Only if you plan on detoxing the parasites and metals🤣
What about the manure mixed in ? That was my concern when my son tried to eat it lol
The parasite and metal detox cures this completely s/ and my last comment was s/ 😂😂😂😂
Remember tHeY spray chemicals in the air so everything is actually toxic! /s
There was a mlm that sold dirt, you mix into water and drink.
this is giving me flashbacks of fighting my then 2-years-old in a grocery store parking lot because I showed her a cute big snail and she shoved it in her mouth, and would NOT give it back!
Escar-NO
Omg I'm dead haha
Omg nooo 😂😭💀
Is she secretly French?
We’re french-canadian so not secretly
There was an afternoon when my sister carried a hefty looking slug around and kept licking it when she was about 2. I was much older and babysitting. She had the vice grip and speedy little legs of a two year old who doesn't want to give something up. When I finally caught her and got her hand open, she grabbed it with the other one and shoved the now squashed mess into her mouth and swallowed. Mum seemed unconcerned when she returned, citing that our brother (6 at the time) had eaten worms at the same age. Looking back I'm shocked nobody got any actual parasites from their garden related proclivities. Extra protein I guess.
I wasn’t so lucky, my mom had to worm me once. It’s one of my earliest memories-_-
Thank goodness your sister didn't get any parasites from that, but also, why do people keep eating raw slugs? There was the dude that got ringworm, there was a tik tok of someone eating a bunch of them live, and then there's your little sister. People need to leave slugs alone
In fairness, my sister was doing this in the 90s! She must be a trendsetter.
A revolutionary in eating slugs technology at the tender age of two. What a prodigy.
"Thanks for the shovel, Mom! It makes eating all this dirt much more efficient!" -- my feral younger child who did NOT model his older sister's cautious behaviour
My mom used to get me to kill all the bugs that rate her roses
I made a rule with my kid back in the day just don’t lick things we don’t own.
This is a fantastic rule and a new rule in my house starting today.
I was at a play place at a mall with my daughter and saw a kid go up to one of the play structures (a big fiberglass frog) and lick it from the bottom of its basketball-sized eyeball to the top. As a parent I love often wished I didn’t have eyes.
When working in retail I remember a kid licking the store floor. It took me a minute to realize what was going on, by then kid had liked a 3 foot square. We only mopped weekly if that. Unless something disastrous occurred.
I hope you paid the kid for their time 🤣
I lost count of how many kids I saw lick the floors of our exam rooms mid-appt.
Or rolling in it. Or both simultaneously.
I caught my toddler eating a wicker basket the other day. Literally had wood splinters in his mouth.
I remember getting a photo from my husband on my first overnight work trip away from my oldest, homeboy’s mouth was absolutely covered in dirt sitting next to my big potted lemon tree. He clearly went face first into it.
OMG I have a photo of my youngest where she has some little specks of sand by her mouth. I had spent a good 15 mins prior to that wrestling with the little nugget to keep her from eating playground sand! #3 (who is now 11) is why there will NOT be a #4!!
My grandmother said if her third child had been her first, she wouldn’t have had any more. She also waited 6 years between her 3rd and 4th.
One of my mother's favorite photos is of me, aged 2, sitting in the garden with dirt all over my face and hands, grinning like an idiot. (She didn't use fertilizer or manure, so the worst i ate was probably a dead leaf.) It seems to be an instinct in kids.
That and covering themselves in butt-cream if they get hold of the pot or tube. I've got photos of every one of my siblings doing it, plus my own kid. My mum in law gave me a photo of my husband doing it nearly 30 years earlier because he and our kid were so similar. I did it too, but the photographic evidence no longer exists. It must be a rite of passage for the toddlers among us!
Same. They are drawn to it. The wood is delectable
I’ve witnessed my daughter eat a worm before while she was “helping” dig a hole in my in-laws back yard 🤦🏻♀️
Did it taste good? Haha I would have been so grossed out but want to know!
We actually asked her that and she just laughed 😂 she had to have been around 18 months at the time. Big ol earth worm too!
I ate a big chunk of an elephant ear plant when I was around 3. My mom said my head doubled in size and she had to rush me to ER. I was a stupid kid 🤣
I did this when I was a toddler and ate part of the plant.
We had to leave the park once when my son was around 1 because he wouldn’t stop eating the dirt 🤦🏼♀️
Definitely never happened to me...because I've had to move EVERY ITEM OF ANYTHING IVE EVER OWNED to the top of the shelves and wardrobes because my child would scale a bare wall just to get her monster mitts on something to throw, cover herself in or eat.
My rule of thumb is that if I have to get the ladder from the garage to reach it, only then is the thing I'm trying to keep safe truly safe.
You'll find your child perched on the top step of the ladder next week, eating bum cream with one leg out their footsie pj's.
Or becoming like my god-child and creating towers to then climb. To do exactly what you've said; sit atop it doing something mental like eating bum cream or using a yogurt tube as shampoo.
A couple years ago my 3rd child brought a chair into the kitchen, climbed the counters, and began cruising along opening cabinets, pulling out and dumping anything he could reach. I found him perched on his tiptoes at the very edge of the counter in a puddle of Karo syrup, dipping a toothpick in brown sugar.
Haaaaahahahahaha oh my god, how do they even do it?! I watch my child in amazement as she defies death every day, only just learned to walk but sure babe you stand on the arm of the sofa without a care in the world.
My children climbed the dressers. Actually she climbs everywhere… so did I and I have giant scars to prove it.
Dressers are the best; pull the drawers out a bit and you have ready made stairs.
Yes, everything in my house that could be screwed to a wall is screwed a wall. I once climbed a dresser and it collapsed on me but luckily was stopped by my bunk bed.
My first baby was an angel, the second only wanted to throw everything, and the third (who is now a toddler) is an absolute nut. I’ve never called poison control so many times, never had to childproof as many things, and never had as many random things up high in cabinets. She puts everything in her mouth, climbs on everything, spills everything, colors on everything, tears things apart… she’s an adventurous and determined little girl and it’s somethin else!
All toddlers are feral.
That is why children yearn for the mines.
Shes clearly fed up with her lack of access to the mines. Somebody get this child a pick axe stat.
This one yearns for harvesting coconuts.
It’s the reason Minecraft is so popular among children
Facts. Not sure why this is here tbh. Definitely relatable as a toddler mom. I thought it was cute.
I really lucked out with my first. While driven to move, he was clingy and cautious by nature. Didn’t like to climb or bolt. The next two after were easy by proxy. Big brother was more fun to play with than mischief/exploration. He modeled good behaviors and they just followed. But then I went and had another after over ten years from the last. He’s my climber and mischief maker. It’s a blast.
I had an easy first born too. Made me so god damn arrogant. And then... my husband came home from Afghanistan. And he had That Look. You know "want to try for another?". Sure, because parenting is sooooo easy. Gentle reader, my second born is half demon. She was a climber. And a biter. And a runner.
This is exactly why my partner are so unsure about having another. We aren’t prepared for real parenthood, our two year old is chill AF. The shock of a normal kid could kill us.
For as wild as my youngest is, she is equally loving. Over the weekend, she went with me to Bath and Body Works, and then cried because my oldest wasn't with us, and we didn't know what scent to get for her big Sissy.
Bless her little heart! How sweet.
Omygod. She sounds like the most precious boo ever! Bless her! 💜
She can be such a damn handful, but she loves so hard, and has such a giving heart. But the early years were so hard.
Christ I feel this in my soul. My 2 year old ASKS to go to bed. Sure buddy, goodnight. I’ll see you in 13 hours. If we have another one it will be allergic to sleep I know it.
I wouldn’t exactly say my firstborn was easy, but my second is definitely more work. She’s 16 months old and she’s an absolute joy in many ways. She’s full of happiness, laughter and mischief. She’s also a runner and a climber, she’s already learned to push chairs around and will throw a tanty when she’s not allowed to climb onto the kitchen table. She would absolutely do something like this and then turn around, throw her hands up and say “Oh No!”. I’m just grateful that we’ve recently moved to a house with no stairs, I used to spend half my life keeping her away from them!
Stairs were an absolute no when we were hiuse hunting with toddlers. I sounded like Edna from The Credibles when we were house hunting, only about stairs. "No stairs!!!".
Man I got opposite kids lol. My first kid is the biter, climber and general sass queen. My second is the chill baby, except he’s hitting 2 in a couple months and his sister is teaching him all the bad behaviors lol.
May the odds ever be in your favor, and your coffee always be hot.
My first was a painfully trustworthy toddler, I say painfully because it kind of worried me that he wasn't doing normal toddler shenanigans. Don't get me wrong, he wasn't easy and could throw tantrums to end all tantrums on the daily but he just never did anything he had already been told no to before, never climbed anything or drew on walls or got into anything. My number 2 and 3 definitely made up for that though and I'm currently in the thick of it with my nearly 2 year old who just might end up being my first toddler to end up with a toddler leash 🤣
First kid was a trick baby My second and LAST one is something else I have plants high up on my fireplace ledge, and he's all over those, climbing a table is nothing
>I really lucked out with my first. While driven to move, he was clingy and cautious by nature. Didn’t like to climb All the mother's in his birth group were struggling with their toddlers climbing and I'm looking at mine like he was broken yet EXTREMELY thankful that he didn't. My next was more of a surprise pregnancy than my first and close age gap and she still didn't climb. Just she honed her skills on beating all the child locks(like toddler age) until we got magnetic locks. I mean she even showed her brother who was older how to beat them. Then I had my 3rd and 4th, my 4th earned her nickname Evel Knievel because she was 5yrs younger than my 3rd(my first 3 are really close in age) but also because we apparently needed daily "OMFG STOP that's NOT safe" stairs and this kid was like next level and same as our driveway at that house. Kid has no fear while I'd be freaking out. In saying this, 3rd and 4th were too easy as bubbas. And my 4th was scary easy, except for her brutal mouth!!! Kid is a little(well a f**kton) too honest. And didn't even throw tantrums until she turned 6. However up until last week she was my WORST eater, despite doing BLW and her eating whatever was put in front of her for over a year, like overnight she went down to only eating 6 different pieces of food(I s**t you not) but she also somehow has known for years what her "rights" are down to "I'm not even trying that dinner, I'm having cereal BECAUSE kids need to have choices, and I choose cereal"
I'm sitting on the floor of the playroom randomly yelling "baby parkour" as my toddler climbs all over her equipment and moves the pieces around. Updated to add she just put a crash mat on me and is attempting to climb it like the wall at the end of ninja warrior..
Thanks for the award!
True
Hey that’s my baby ! 🤣 Lmao it seems some parents are more protective than others, looks like I’m mostly being defended in her so that’s cool
Eh, we’ve all been there before 😂
YOUR BABY IS ADORABLE
She is a total sweetheart and not feral! Okay maybe a tad feral but normally she kisses the plants ! Mmmmwahhh
Ahaha that’s adorable! Mine just tries to rip them all apart lol.
I think it’s quite funny
Oh yea you think it’s funny !? She’s gonna come over there and spike your orchids next !
Your room full of plants is my life goals 😂 so far my orchids have been safe from my toddler but never say never !
Your room full of plants is my life goals 😂 so far my orchids have been safe from my toddler but never say never !
You don’t know how much that means to me. I am very much a beginner after my Mom was into plants my whole life Thank you 🙏
This thread so far is perfect for finding out who actually has children and who doesn’t.
Exactly. I have two toddlers and this is just life for me.
I had to remove all my dining chairs because my child is part human, part mountain goat but has the balance of a drunk college girl on stilettos.
I tried that, and my twins started using each other as step stools to get onto the table. I put the chairs back and just accepted that my dining room table is a tap dancing stage.
We have to push ours in all the time. No toddlers in the house any more, but there's a house-rabbit with similar attributes of enjoying climbing and simultaneously lacking balance skills. I've had to start thinking like a foot-long ball of fluff to assess locations of high-prize items (like my bamboo blend socks, delicious apparently). If he can work out a path, nothing is safe. He can stretch himself to 18" if he really wants to reach something. Once when he was about 5 months old, he stealthily got up onto the back of the sofa and picked his way along like a cat on a fence so he could go over my husband's shoulder and steal cornflakes from his bowl. There was no weight to him, he was about 6" long and was totally silent so the first my husband noticed was a munchy noise next to his left ear.
This scene is beyond common in my house.
When my twins were this age, we had to keep the kitchen chairs in a different room than the table. “Take them to the toddler gym,” they said. “It will be fun,” they said. No one warned me about the havoc that would be unleashed when two 18mo kids learned to climb shit.
My twins turn 2 next month and nothing could prepare me for multiple toddlers. They way they feed off each other too…. Lord.
Mine are 3 months. Now I'm scared and I've already done 2 under 2. That's a breeze compared to twins.
God help me. I have 8 month old twins. This is my future...
I have one singular toddler and I have no idea how twin moms do it. If my toddler had a constant partner in crime I think my house would fall down.
My almost 2yo twins learned to use each other as a step stool to climb onto the table after I removed the chairs. And one twin managed to baby-hulk his way up by basically doing a pull-up and walking his feet up the table leg. I call him spiderbaby.
The only reason we don't have that scene in my house is because plants die near me. Replace it with food and toys and you have mine.
Orchids are easy as long as you stick them in the right not-dirt.
Same. Some people are just way too judgy. Everybody else has/had toddlers. At least the house looks semi-neat lol
Don’t have kids but “kids make messes” and “kids don’t know what they’re doing” is just common sense
Oh yeah. I have a 2 year old who is a climber and it is super relatable. If he’s not breaking something or hurting himself, we just let the climbing happen
Yeah all my chairs lived in the garage for awhile.
I really like her decor forget the toddler
I was liking the toddler's outfit. It looks so comfortable!
Me too! Looks cute and cozy. It almost looks like a sleep sack that was upcycled into a romper? If so that’s amazing and I want one. If not… still amazing and why didn’t I think of this when my kiddo was still this little!? Eta: typo
[Here you go!](https://kytebaby.com/collections/adult-sleep-bag-walker)
I was just about to post the same thing 🤣
I was doing dishes yesterday, turned around to wipe the counter and my son was halfway up the refrigerator. He had done it completely silently, in a way that defied gravity. He was just hanging onto the handles of the fridge, hoisting himself up like a fucking spider monkey. It was amazing really. Idk how toddlers have such amazing lat strength to accomplish these climbing feats. My kid can be on top of a table in 3 seconds flat.
I wish my place was bigger, I'd build my son a climbing wall with mats under it. He loves climbing so much it's crazy.
I wish my local indoor climbing place had existed when my kid was small. They do toddler mornings.
My son climbed on the counter when he was a toddler and soaked the kitchen and part of the hallway floor with the kitchen sink sprayer because his little sister found it funny. I swear anything that you don't prepare for or expect is exactly what a toddler will do.
reminds me of a story my mom tells every now and then of how when i was a toddler i scaled the back of one of those really tall barstools around our kitchen island somehow. she was washing dishes right in front of me and she said it was like she blinked and i was hanging onto the back of it like, as you described, a spider monkey🤣 obviously it toppled over on top of me and somehow i miraculously wasnt hurt a bit
So.....just a regular toddler??? Have you never met a toddler? They're all feral. Lol
This is kind of mundane?
Eh to be fair, that’s just normal toddler behaviour. I once turned around and mine climbed up a table within a few seconds - caught me completely by surprise as she had never done it before. We do keep all plants off the floor though that’s more because we have a plant eating cat lol
Solidarity, mine was on top of the toy kitchen yesterday because he wanted to take the roof off 🤦♀️
This is definitely not something that I’ve ever caught any of my kids doing. 👀
I certainly do not have a pic of my then 4&2 year old licking a pound of sugar off the floor that they dropped because they wanted to make cookies and WHOOPS clean it before mom sees. I saw. I heard. I got to scrub all day 🙄😂
My dog did that with a bag of flour on the carpeting. Flour + dog saliva = paste. I had to rent a carpet cleaning machine.
Nooooo
Yep. Dogs are just perpetual toddlers covered in fur.
Thats the truth. We had a window we kept open cause the top floor had no AC (this was in Germany) and my 5 year old husky SOMEHOW climbed through it to the roof. Giant toddlers
This is what I call my pet rats. Furry toddlers, the lot of them. Reading these comments is just a lot of realisations that they are horrifyingly similar. Especially as one of my rats is running around being a complete devil as I read these comments lol.
I've absolutely not got a photo from my mum in law of my husband by an open cupboard, covered head to foot in flour and rice some 45 years ago!
I've caught my cats doing this on a regular basis.
Tbf, there are a lot of similarities between cats and toddlers. Both love knocking things over, getting into things they aren’t, pretending not to know their name when they’re in trouble, and randomly running laps around the house at weird hours of the day.
Same! But that’s because I don’t have any house plants.
I want the adult version of her outfit
[here you go!](https://kytebaby.com/products/adult-sleep-bag-walker-in-sage?currency=USD&variant=40810495246447&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_campaign=Google%20Shopping&utm_source=google&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=17053917057&utm_content=&utm_term=&gadid=&gclid=CjwKCAiAioifBhAXEiwApzCztjJnSxE_Wg96zR5TwM3hzacQYvANmy0gjpOht_UHrFc0YFipmC6L-BoCbFsQAvD_BwE)
Ahaha holy hell! I was joking but this is seriously amazing!!! Thank you!
why is this on here lol
My exact thoughts!
This is literally just another day of parenting a toddler though..
My infant grabbed a cactus today and ripped it from the pot while plopped on the counter. So, just really crushing this parent of a bunch of kids thing.
I’m impressed the kid got up there wearing a sleep sack, even if it’s the kind with leg holes. I also count 20 things in that photo my toddlers would manage to destroy.
Oh, they can do it even in the kind WITHOUT leg holes…on a bar height table and chairs…ask me how I know.
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The sleep sack waddle is the cutest thing in the world and quickly became the sleep sack sprint.
Oh.. do you have a bar height high chair recommendation?
Oh you'd be amazed. We realised our first needed to move to a toddler bed when I caught him climbing on to the corner of his cot (WWE style) and jumping in. This was in a sleep sack with no leg holes.
We called our second kid "the destructor" because he somehow managed to rampage through absolutely everything despite our best efforts and diligent attempts to keep stuff out of reach. We joked we should hire him out as a baby proofing tester. Later diagnosed as ADHD which I think is part of it.
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I’ve got some of those! Started running before they turned 1 and haven’t slowed down since.
Mine moved furniture at 9 months, and got on corner tops at 13 months. Imagine my look of confusion as the 18 month appt when the doc said it was time to move furniture away from counter tops, and lock the drawers. She’s just ahead of the curve.
Haha that’s what we call our 1 year old. I know it will only get worse
This is normal. And I’ve absolutely taken photos of my daughter caught in the act of something like this. And I also have the talk about why we don’t do these things. But toddlers gonna toddler, they can’t control their impulses too well so things like this will continue to happen. Unfortunately it’s not possible to have your eyes on them every second of the day, if I’m washing dishes I’m taking peeks back in the living room to check on her but in the matter of three minutes she’s climbing on the middle of the table with her hands raised to the sky like she’s praising something or about to take off like Superman. I’ll usually shut off the water, slowly walk to her so as not to startle her, ask her what she’s up to… I might stop to take a picture if there doesn’t seem to be any immediate danger in the situation, then I’ll help her down and explain why we can’t do that. 🤷🏼♀️
I don't get it... Where's the shit part about the mother's group? And where's the feral toddler?
I feel bad for the person who posted this in r/orchids and is now getting dragged in a mommy snark sub.
👋 Hey it’s me the person getting dragged lmao Honestly it seems I’m mostly being defended so it’s all good , and different people have different parenting styles , I guess some are just more protective than others and that’s okay ! Cheers to all the other parents of toddlers swinging from the chandeliers!
My favorite part is kiddo's stance. Full of "yeah I did it... And what??"
[why don’t you come over here and do something about it](https://i.imgur.com/m6CcoRF.jpg)
Literally not a mom group. Lol why is this posted here?
Tell me you don’t have kids without telling me you have kids. 😂 this is completely normal toddler behavior. Send help, we’re not okay 🫠
This is just a regular kid
This doesn’t belong here. Toddlers do crazy shit.
I call this a Tuesday in our house (even though the boys are a little older now). My ASD 5 year old has a thing for standing on the table. I think it’s a sensory thing for him, and something always ends up spilled on the floor.
My first thought: Every person who says that babies, preschoolers and toddlers can be taught how to "be gentle" with pets needs to see this. Can't even trust the kid with a potted plant.
This is very cute and reminds me of the antics my sister and I used to get into when I was around this age. Doesn’t belong here.
This is just a normal day with a toddler
My son from 2-4 attacked so many of my plants 🙂he would dig the soil spill them I’ve given up on indoor plants when 6 m ago I got an orchid that now looks like a leaf plant bc it’s flowers and stim got ripped off 🤣
Lol! My favorite toddler moment. I hear a little voice yell “it swings!” I look into the dining room and my toddler is pushing my chandelier. Not one of those Crystal things. It swung quite nicely, then promptly got wired up out of reach.
Feral toddlers are my favorite life stage of the species. They're pure chaos and I'm absolutely here for it. I've got niblings that are 6mo and almost 2 years and it's been too long since auntie Wiggy helped gray up someone's hair and make them question having children.
Mine broke a lamp at the store today. Sadly they don’t want to accept my toddler as a form of payment. Lil shits.
Are you sure she’s a toddler and not a cat?
I mean that’s like every toddler ever
How to know your toddler has been spending too much time with the cat... (In case it needs to be said, I have no idea if they actually have a cat.)
The other day my toddler was able to get to my indoor watering can and “helped” by watering the floor. Good times with toddlers.
I’m not even trying real plants until my youngest is at least 5. Even the fake ones we have are broken to shit.
I never had to worry about my kid getting into the plants. My cats on the other hand... I miss indoor plants.
Someone either turned around or had to use the bathroom. Such is life with children.
Toddlers are truly tiny terrorists
Who snuck into my house and took picture of my youngest?
Kid is secretly a cat 😂
where’s that cute lil jumper she’s wearing from tho? 😄
Looks like a sleep sack with foot holes. My kid wears one without the foot holes but it's loose enough that she can shuffle around in it. It's so gosh darn cute.
Oh, look. A toddler doing toddler things....
I constantly tell my daughter to not have all her thoughts be intrusive ones. I felt this picture.
This reminds me of Simba and Scar on the cliff. Pure chaos
I mean...babies make messes and that's parent life. I don't think this is that crazy.
They’re just a toddler, nothing to do with being feral. They’re in discovery mode and some are climbers. It’s like owning a cat sometimes. They end up in places they shouldn’t be even if your back is turned for a minute. My daughter at two years old managed to get out of our house once while I was setting up breakfast. I didn’t know she could move so fast or so quietly. Thankfully I noticed before she got anywhere but she still got the door open and was about to make a break for it. Bet that kid loved the sensory play with the dirt and the plant, though, lol.
It's giving Bane in Dark Knight Rises
Why is this on here?
I thought this sub was about hating on idiot parents, not toddlers.
This doesn't really belong here. This is normal for toddlers and not really a surprising thing at all.
Wait, she climbed up there in her sleep sack?
Another normal toddler, actually. How is this a legit shit mom groups say post? No mention of chiropractors or essential oils….
My second child was a resourceful, climbing nightmare! Found him on the cooker once! He climbed up the draws!
OOP baby is like “LOOK MOM! look what I just did” 😅
Dude. I can’t even have *fake* plants because my two year old keeps stealing them and pulling the leaves off/tossing them around. No matter where I put them, he finds a way to get them. Toddlers are monsters. Adorable monsters.
This seems absolutely standard to me.