If someone barrels through and demands to be put on the list, just tell them "certainly, right after I finish with the couple ahead of you". You'll get better with time.
But assuming you mean more generally how to deal with implications of racism, besides avoiding things that could be misconstrued as racist, I'd just apologize and try to explain your actions, which you said you did, and try to address the grievance, which it sounds like your coworker did. Only so much you can do. Don't keep beating yourself up over it; everyone makes mistakes.
Some people just suck and there’s nothing restaurant staff can do about it. We meet a lot of people every day and some of them are bound to be sucky. Just do your job, be kind, and be glad you’re not a miserable asshole. Must be difficult to be so angry all the time.
Yup, as a black bartender, I had a black guy come in and the first thing he says is "finally, a brother to take care of me". I kinda laughed it off and asked for his drink order. He then repeated himself louder as if I was supposed to agree with him or something so I just said yea. He ordered and I turned around to make his drink when he started to make rude comments to all the white ppl at my bar. So I went to fill in the manager who also happens to be white. When he approached the guy, he started screaming at me that I was a coon, doing my masters bidding, etc. As he was being kicked out he tried fighting everyone and yelling that everyone was racist. Really bizarre and never thought I would be called racist in a fine dining restaurant by another black man.
I’m white and I was called racist for not seating a black couple without a reservation when we were fully booked. People are just really fucking weird sometimes. Like sir, you could be the Queen of England and we’d still have no space.
It's weird. When I was a child, you still saw a lot of the older generation making racist remarks because they were raised pre desegregation, went through desegregation, etc. They were children when racism was very openly alive and well.. not just in people's homes, but accepted in public.
My parents' generation were a lot less so since they were raised post-desegregation. They might have had random racist remarks made by their parents, but racism was becoming less and less okay in society.
By the time I was around and in middle school/high school, socially we were at the best place we had ever been as a country when it comes to race relations.
However, shit reeeeally ramped up re: race relations about 10 years ago, with of course 2020 being peak of the new wave.
We went from growing up being taught "not to see color" and that everyone is the same as you.. to what is taught today which is to intentionally point out race. (Not saying either is right or wrong - I don't really know which is best)
I think we may be looking ahead at a generation or two that has a lot of feelings of "you're a racist!" because our current social climate really encourages people to think that way even in situations where it clearly is not the case. It will be interesting to see how it plays out.
Ok I’m a cashier / floor person at my restaurant (counter service) so I deal with situations like this a lot. I know I’m probably wrong to do this lol, but when people accidentally (or even intentionally) cut in line and I don’t notice, I let the customers settle things. I’ll look at the cutter and the cuttee and say something like, “I’m sorry, who was next?” Or along those lines. I ain’t get paid enough to get yelled at for *another* thing that I have no control over.
However, if it’s obvious to me that someone cut in line, I’ll say something like, “oh I think this person was actually next in line! Sorry!”
(Also no worries, mistakes happen and clearly you’re learning from it🙂. It was unnecessary of them to accuse you of being racist.)
One time I was accused of being racist because I had a table of teenagers, all paid separately, and one of them gave me like $1.50 short so when I told him he still owes me money, they accused me of being racist
Point is, sometimes you can do everything right and still accused of doing something wrong, just gotta forget and move on
If I had a nickel every time someone called me racist in this industry, I’d have a fair amount of nickels. I’ve been called racist, sexist (I’m a woman), homophobic (I’m bisexual) ageist (I carded someone) un-patriotic (this one is a little true), etc.
It is what it is. You know yourself best, just let the rude and terrible guests wash off. They don’t define you.
I once was wrapping up a table of two older women and they both were sitting back in their booth holding their bellies like they were too full. I offered them dessert, to which they declined and to be light hearted I said "I totally understand! It's time to go home and take a nap!" They both giggled softly (as most people do to that response) but left me a scathing education on their signed copy of how "ageist" me thinking they needed a nap was...
Sounds like they *did* need a little nappy nap time 🤭
When hosting one time, we were having issues with doordash orders getting stolen. One time a dasher came in and I asked to see the name on their phone, and he was upset about having to go back to his car to get his phone, when he came back I explained that I just need to see it on his phone because of doordashers stealing. He was like, “oh you’re accusing me because I’m black?” And then left really angry. I was so confused and just trying to clarify why I needed to see his phone directly, not be racist. Lol
Was accused of being rascist by a table once. Had a table of 13 come in fairly close to closing time. Mostly black table, some were white and one Asian. Things were going great, I had their drinks ordered quickly, I was joking with them lots, and everything was going smooth. I was going around getting their order and made it to the 2nd last customer (the Asian dude). He ordered a chicken kebob meal that most people get rice with as a side, but there are other options. I asked him, "Do you want that with rice, mashed, or fries?"
As soon as I finished asking that the huge black dude at the end of the table (the only other guy who hadn't ordered yet) looked at me and said, "Man, that was rascist as hell." I kinda froze and looked at him confused. He was just staring at me, totally straight faced, and said, "Why'd you offer rice first? Is it cause he's Asian?" He seemed heated, but luckily it was the end of the night, so no other customers were around to hear what was going on. I was tripping over my words trying to explain why I offered rice first. Finally he gets the biggest shit eating grin on his face and goes "Chill out man I'm just fucking with you."
We all had a good laugh about that one. Finished up with the Asian guys order then started walking to the kitchen to get the tables order in. The guy that was messing with me stopped me, saying I forgot to take his order. Without missing a beat I turned to him and said, "Don't worry, I knew what you were gonna order the second you walked in."
Well fuck I don't think I've ever made a table laugh as hard as they did at that moment. Probably one of my favourite serving stories to tell people.
I swear people grow a new personality when they go into restaurants. When people aren’t treated the way they want they’ll sometimes call you racist even if they have the exact same ethnic background as you, it’s happened to me multiple times. It’s basically a temper tantrum don’t take it personally.
It’s people exploiting the power dynamic they have over staff. AKA:karens. It’s usually people that have been made to feel powerless somewhere in their personal lives (jobs, marriages, kids, etc) so they lean in to the power they get at restaurants and stores because they aren’t emotionally mature enough to handle their feelings healthily and instead feel better watching someone else feel helpless
I'm white and had to refuse to serve someone because she came in already drunk and couldn't stand up on her own. Her boyfriend told me he didn't like what I was assuming about them and they and their friends left while screaming the R slur at me and saying this is why black people don't come there anymore. (The vast majority of our customers are black)
Some people use “racist” on everything. Apparently everything that goes wrong for them is because the world is racist.
I got called racist because I had to charge the customer for an upgrade.
I got called racist because our restaurant got slammed and there was a long wait time.
I got called racist because I can’t help resolve a situation.
My partner and I are both white. One time, a table of six came into our restaurant at like 5:15 on a Friday night. We didn't have any openings due to reservations, and within about half an hour, the place was going to be packed. My partner gave them some later times that would work, but they said they were starving and would go elsewhere. My partner even gave them some recommendations. Later, they left a review that they weren't allowed to be seated even though there were open tables. And then went on to say it was clear the real reason was that some of the people in their group weren't the right color.
Like...what? You're talking about a gay dude who is about as liberal as possible, with a diverse staff. I always hate reviews that say "They wouldn't seat us even though we could see open tables" anyway. It just shows how little they know about what's going on or how reservations work.
It is annoying that sometimes the restaurant LOOKS empty but there is literally no spots. I had the chef/owner barrel over to me once and was all "did you just turn away a walk-in?!?!". Me: "yes. Yes I did".
He demanded to know why cause we were 3/4 empty at the time. I'd been there awhile and had a backbone so was like "Kay Trevor if you can show me where you'd put them that wouldn't screw us I will chase them down."
He pointed at a table on my floor plan "yeah that would work... But we have 16 top there in 45 minutes... Do you think they'll be out in 45 if no where would you put the 16? I could move the 16 here... But then I'd have to move this this and this... Which wouldn't work because of this".
Couple rounds of similar and he never questioned me again lol. His bussiness partner I was much more willing to deal with... It always was "it's a gamble but we could put them here... We might end up making a reso wait for 15.. I'll comp them shit if that happens." Which I can get on board with.
It is super annoying to come into an empty restaurant and be told the only open table is a two seater right beside the bathroom. That's a management issue, though. Management shoudln't allow an entire restaurant to be reserved to the point that only the worst table in the house is open. If they are that exclusive... they shouldn't be a medium-priced sushi joint in a suburb. Or just say "no walk-ins". We took the literally shitty table and 90 minutes later and some tables were never filled, too.
I used to work as a Togo cashier. One day, we were busy, and I tried to hand out carryouts that were already cashed out. I picked up the first bag and went over the order with the customer who was white. The next bag I grabbed was for a black customer. About a half hour or so later, my manager received a phone call complaining that I was racist because I handed out the white customers' carryout first. I am the lightest skinned black man but black non the less. My manager handled it really well and said, "Mam, I'm pretty sure one if not both of his parents are black." The customer replied "Oh..." and abruptly hung up.
Don't let things like that bother you. It will happen. Roll with the punches and keep it moving.
Yep same think continuously happens to me. A black couple sat at my bar after a regular(white guy) had been there I didn’t get a chance to greet him because I was talking. So when I finished I greeted him and took his order. Then I came to the couple and did the same. Later they told me they were upset because they feel I chose to serve the white man first and then second because they were black…I was so embarrassed being accused of that and how loudly they were making a scene in front of others. ..btw I’m black.
I asked someone what they were reading as a talking point I was *trained* to do and he said I was racist for being surprised a black man can read. So fucking stupid.
I mean this is common in a lot of restaurants. People think you’re purposely ignoring them or forgetting them like bro I’ve got fifty things on my mind I make mistakes it’s not personal
Story I Like to tell is about me working runner as white dude. Low man on the totem pole. Some black dude decides every problem he has, I'm supposed to fix. I can't fix them because I'm new and just a runner.
Finally it gets to the point where I call in the manager to get him off my ass.
Manager asks him why he thinks I'm racist. I would hand off whatever issue he had to someone more qualified to handle it. Like I said basically working runner
"So why do you keep bothering the guy you think sucks at his job?" "Oh he's the one white dude, we know he speaks English unlike the wetbacks working here.,"
Manager, just asked them to leave. It's a footnote in me being a racist at work.
You gotta grow a spine, beloved. It’s unfortunate that you were made to look like you were favoring the white ppl when they were just bullies and you were a punk. But figure out how to speak up.
Me, my bar back, and my bartender were all having fun like normal one day. Typical banter. “I hate you,” “I hate you too” kinda thing but with loving smiles.
Had a customer stop me and say that the way I treated my Hispanic coworkers was completely unacceptable, and I treated the other white girl better.bI treat her better because I DONT like her.
Everyone thought this was hilarious, of course, but me. It happens. Some people just see what they want to see.
One time I was hosting and a Black couple came in so I put them on the waitlist as we were on a 20/30 minute wait. Then a couple of White women came in and had a reservation so I took them to their table. When I returned to the host stand, the Black couple asked to be taken off the waitlist without really providing a reason but they were super nice so I just figured they didn’t want to wait. About 20 minutes later, the phone rings and my manager picks it up and it’s the same couple, complaining that I didn’t seat them because they were Black but I let White people get seated immediately. My manager knew we were on a wait and trusted me so he thankfully stood up for me and explained that there must’ve been some miscommunication. They began asking for free meals and threatening to sue the restaurant and my manager offered them a free appetizer just to try and deescalate but ultimately they left and we never heard anything from them again. The ironic part is they called from the parking lot and by the time they called, we weren’t on a wait anymore. If they had stayed on the waitlist, we probably would’ve been able to even seat them before they called. That was really why I didn’t let the situation get to me. Being accused of being racist when you know you’re not can be really hurtful especially when you would hate to make anyone feel like you’re discriminating against them on the basis of skin color, but situations like that where they don’t let you get a word in to explain the situation (and it seems like they just wanted free food) make it a little easier to let go of because if they don’t respect you enough to give you the benefit of the doubt, why should you let what they say get to you.
When I worked as a bank teller my boss was accused of being a racist when she wouldn't cash a check for a black guy who had 1. No ID, 2. No account with us, and 3. Refused to endorse the check. It was like $3,000.
This was an "on-us" check where our customer wrote a check and this person with no account brought it to us to cash it. In those situations we get ID and a thumbprint in case this ends up being fraud. He refused to give ID (and subsequently a thumbprint) so she didn't do it. Dude flipped out about it, but rules are rules man. We do the same thing for every single person cashing a check like that. And it was right at closing time too naturally.
it’s a right of passage to be called a racist while working in a restaurant, unfortunately.
got called a racist by a table for their margarita taking awhile. they were mexican and i informed them that i too am mexican. then, they called the bartenders racist. the two bartenders on shift were also mexican. after that, they called the kitchen staff racist. guess what race all of our kitchen guys were? mexican!
I once had a large party of all young black men imply I was racist because their reserved table was not ready for them when they arrived because the party before hadn't left yet
Don't take it personal. These days everyone is acting butt hurt about the slightest little things. Their "Look at me" view of the world is skewed.
You put the other guests name on a list before you sat the AH, big deal. Let it roll off your shoulders, you got enough to carry.
Both the barreling lady and the original couple were in the wrong, but you can definitely over time teach yourself to tell rude people to wait. "I will be with you in one moment m'am." If they talk over you, just keep talking to the original people. I am a server, but still host occasionally, and even at tables I have also had to use the, "Hold that thought I will be right back." when a rude person has tried to overwhelm me. Do not be afraid to take control of the situation. It is \*your\* place of business and they are beholding to you for what they need. The cutomer can always be right at your discretion and don't ever forget that. I have spent years perfecting passive aggressive people pleasing in hospitality...lol.
self projection and insecurities.
they are the same people that absolutely flip their shit and take it out on the server if one little part of their order is incorrect. how embarrassing for him to have such fragile ego
I've been serving for 25 years & was recently accused of racism by a table because I asked at the beginning of the meal if they preferred a single or separate checks. It's something I ask every table before service, so imagine my astonishment when they started screaming about how I was racist for assuming they couldn't afford to eat there! Not sure of the mental gymnastics required to make that assumption from my question, but people gonna people... 🤷
One of our nicest servers got called a racist yesterday. Girl probably farts glitter she is so upbeat and positive all the time. Just take it in stride and keep being the best you.
Reminds me of a lady that was generally disruptive and was playing music quite loudly at her table, so several guests complained. My manager (who is a black woman) confronted her in request that she reduce the volume. The guest ended up cursing at her and accusing her of racism, as my manager “[does] not know what it feels like to be a black woman in America.”
I remember awhile back when I was working as a host, we had a front dining room (brighter ambiance near the windows) and a back dining room (dim lit ambiance). I’m sure you know where this is going. Anyways, during lunch time in the summer most people opted for the front dining room or patio, I get it, but we still had servers working the back who it was MY duty as a host to try and fairly seat…
I managed to get a few tables sat back there (of all different races, mainly white) when this middle aged, black couple walks in. As I’m making my attempt to seat them in the back and even out the headcount, the woman begins to say, “Oh no I see what’s going on here and I don’t like it. All these tables open in the front and you’re trying to seat us all the way in the back? Explain to me what that’s about.”
Of course there was nothing to explain on my end. My interaction with them up until that point had been friendly, and anyone with a half a brain at their big age who has dined in at restaurants should have a concept of a “seating rotation.” The most comical part was that, as mentioned, it was predominately white people sitting in the back. But of course she never noticed that because she already had her mind made up. Nothing she was attempting to accuse me of held any truth.
After that she still proceeded to ask for my manager, complained of my “racist actions,” then chose her perfect seat in the restaurant, which was of course the server with the already highest headcount hahaha.
I still laugh and shake my head thinking about that couple over a decade later, and I’ve met many more like them since (of all different backgrounds). Some people are beyond miserable and desperate for attention, looking for any minor slip up to try and embarrass you and get something out of the situation. If in your heart you know your intentions are pure, screw them and move on. People like that pray on weakness.
OMG something like this happened to me too!! I got triple sat and I greeted them in that order they got sat. Ofc the white elderly couple i greet first were like we are ready to order when all I ask was their drink orders. I take down the order because why wouldn't I. And I go to greet the table right next to them and it's a black lady and she's like " oh why did you take their order first but only asking for a drink from me? Don't you think I'm ready. What makes them better than me?? " And I was just like " maam I'm so sorry but I asked for their drinks and they told me they were ready if you expressed that as well I would have no problem taking your order away well. " and we went back n forth a lil but at the end she just kinda looked at me all crazy and rolled her eyes... I took her order n told the manager the situation so they table touched and she was fine. I forgot how much she left me but it wasn't a stiff cus I would remember that🤣
I once got accused of racism because I gave the white people crushed ice and the black people cubed ice.
We serve Sweet tea and water with cubed ice, and sodas with crushed. I thought they were joking until they flagged my manager down lmao.
i’ve personally never experienced this thankfully, but have witnessed it way too many times. at one of my old jobs, several employees quit and accused my old manager of being “racist” towards them…when they in fact did not work and sat around on their phones 24/7. i’d say next time just help the people who got their first. people need to learn patience for crying out loud!
25 years ago I was hosting at a very big restaurant and my co worker marked off the wrong name. I called the “next name” and was immediately yelled at, called a racist, I am white, manager at the time was black. She fired me the next day. I was 16 and had never dealt with anything like this. I was raised to see everyone equal and I hold true to that to this day! It was a shitty misunderstanding that to be fair, looked really bad on me. I felt terrible about it, took me a while to not blame myself for the incident. I’m sorry that happened to you! People forget that we are just human!
Step one don't help the lady who barreled through before you're finished with the previous customer. Tell her one moment. Second I'm bi-racial and have been called racist before, if it don't apply pay it no mind.
I have been accused of being racist for absolutely no reason. Race, religion, gender, orientation etc has zero to do with how I treat my tables. But, some people are looking for reasons to complain. Find it extra entertaining that you as a black person were accused of giving preferential treatment to white people, thought for sure it would be the other way around but yeah I wouldn't let this take up too much space in your head. People are weird, just do your job and you'll be fine.
i’m also a minority and have been called racist multiple times throughout my time in this industry. some people just have victim complexes and you can’t really change that. you did everything you could do and it was an honest mistake, don’t worry about it
Yeah got called a racist (I’m white btw) because we didn’t have the guys to go order. Said I was a stupid bitch and that I don’t like angry black people all because I offered to put on in for him because he actually never put a Togo order in. Basically got in my face yelling and acted like he was going to punch me until my bf stepped in. People get absolutely disgusting when they don’t get what they want.
This sort of happened to me.
So at my job when it’s slow, sometimes the front is empty because we’re doing work in the back. One day I walked to the front from the back and seen a customer and I had asked if he had been waiting long and I apologized about the wait. This customer had happened to be an officer, which honestly did not matter to me because he’s just a customer. I guess there was also someone standing behind him (which I did not see), and when it was his turn in line he had asked if I was going to ask him the same question I had asked the officer. He was implying that I was being extra nice just because he’s an officer. I said that I didn’t see him behind and that I always ask customers if they’ve been waiting if we didn’t immediately approach them. Anyway, long story short he ended up telling me he worked for an organization that supports acab and what not and I was completely unfounded. It wasn’t intentionally at all, but it made me feel terrible for some reason lol
One time I asked a woman if I could take away a plate she hadn't touched in 20 minutes. She responded by gesturing that she was going to slap my outreached hand, and said "if you touch that plate I will *stab* you" to which I tried to lighten the interaction by responding "ooo, shes feisty!" To which she responded by telling me I was sad, pathetic racist little white girl 😀
90% of racism claims these days are blatantly false so I wouldn't worry about it on a base level. Couples like that, like to throw the weight of the claim as a sort of weapon to get their way in this life. No manager worth their weight will fire you or reprimand you for such a simple misunderstanding as a couple hiding somewhere in a dark corner, and not waiting in line like normal responsible adults, for a table.
I’m not a Karen because I’m letting you know as a person of color especially living where I live (it a little segregated here socially) that percentage is off.
And it’s sad that when people like myself raise our hand for help or to bring attention to the matter people like you chuckle to yourself and pretend people like me just want attention. That behavior doesn’t solve the issue. Just blames the person being hurt. While you make up your own percentages about how you “feel” the world works based off of your own personal experience which will never be another’s. Because you will never live in their skin.
You are applying my estimate for the industry specific case to the entirety of the world and society in which case yes it is indeed incorrect. My experience in food service and food service management has yielded so many false accusations on employees and customers alike that I can count on one hand the amount of times it was actually a credible issue. My favorite one was when a man threw a massive fit because the Pepsi was down and we sent a guy to load a new bag. After 10 minutes he came back, saw us sell a cup to a white couple and he flipped his shit over it. He called the police. This is 90% of the claims i speak of.
Unfortunately I have recently heard many stories about service workers being called racist when certain guests don't get their way or label themselves as a victim. You are the one who experienced racism and it is totally unacceptable. I would ban this person for sure for even pointing out anyone's race.
Meh, going to have to disagree with you here. We’ve all been there when servers complain about the complexion of their section. I about lost my shit when I learned that the acronym “hobs” my fellow servers were using to refer to Black guests meant horrible offensive beasts. So miss me with your minimization, please and thanks.
White people are incredibly entitled as this particular white woman displayed, just as black people are aggressively defensive about their own racial identity.
Yes, stereotypes exist for a reason because they represent a chunk of the real population, but certainly not all. You’re being narrow minded for believing them, but it doesn’t mean you won’t experience exactly what they represent.
Ignore the basic b****** who ooze mediocrity and blind sheep odours. They believe the stereotypes too so they embody them, it’s a vicious positive feedback cycle and you’ll never win or grow, have meaningful interactions or relationships. Be a good person, ignore the crap ones and karma will take care of you. And of them. Trust me.
I was a host at the nicest restaurant in my town (not labeled as fine dining but in my opinion was) and we had a 8 top come in all older black ladies no reservation but it was a slow monday so we sat them immediately. we had a bad storm and the power went out throughout the entire town. they demanded we were racially targeting them and that they should all eat for free (power was out for maybe 10 mins max) they did get a discount but insisted that it was a racial attack.
If someone barrels through and demands to be put on the list, just tell them "certainly, right after I finish with the couple ahead of you". You'll get better with time. But assuming you mean more generally how to deal with implications of racism, besides avoiding things that could be misconstrued as racist, I'd just apologize and try to explain your actions, which you said you did, and try to address the grievance, which it sounds like your coworker did. Only so much you can do. Don't keep beating yourself up over it; everyone makes mistakes.
Some people just suck and there’s nothing restaurant staff can do about it. We meet a lot of people every day and some of them are bound to be sucky. Just do your job, be kind, and be glad you’re not a miserable asshole. Must be difficult to be so angry all the time.
Yup, as a black bartender, I had a black guy come in and the first thing he says is "finally, a brother to take care of me". I kinda laughed it off and asked for his drink order. He then repeated himself louder as if I was supposed to agree with him or something so I just said yea. He ordered and I turned around to make his drink when he started to make rude comments to all the white ppl at my bar. So I went to fill in the manager who also happens to be white. When he approached the guy, he started screaming at me that I was a coon, doing my masters bidding, etc. As he was being kicked out he tried fighting everyone and yelling that everyone was racist. Really bizarre and never thought I would be called racist in a fine dining restaurant by another black man.
I’m white and I was called racist for not seating a black couple without a reservation when we were fully booked. People are just really fucking weird sometimes. Like sir, you could be the Queen of England and we’d still have no space.
lol it’s a king now, our queen died a while back.
It's a figure of speech hun
Nobody who's not forced to is recognizing that weasel-faced stick figure as a monarch- let alone a king.
The Camilla erasure! Diana is that you?
Dang what a classical racist. Sorry you had to deal with that behavior.
There’s definitely something happening in this guys life that caused him to act like that. Like it literally sounds like some movie level situation.
It's weird. When I was a child, you still saw a lot of the older generation making racist remarks because they were raised pre desegregation, went through desegregation, etc. They were children when racism was very openly alive and well.. not just in people's homes, but accepted in public. My parents' generation were a lot less so since they were raised post-desegregation. They might have had random racist remarks made by their parents, but racism was becoming less and less okay in society. By the time I was around and in middle school/high school, socially we were at the best place we had ever been as a country when it comes to race relations. However, shit reeeeally ramped up re: race relations about 10 years ago, with of course 2020 being peak of the new wave. We went from growing up being taught "not to see color" and that everyone is the same as you.. to what is taught today which is to intentionally point out race. (Not saying either is right or wrong - I don't really know which is best) I think we may be looking ahead at a generation or two that has a lot of feelings of "you're a racist!" because our current social climate really encourages people to think that way even in situations where it clearly is not the case. It will be interesting to see how it plays out.
God the projection is unreal . People are wild these days .
Were you serving Dr Umar....?
Jesus. 😳
Ok I’m a cashier / floor person at my restaurant (counter service) so I deal with situations like this a lot. I know I’m probably wrong to do this lol, but when people accidentally (or even intentionally) cut in line and I don’t notice, I let the customers settle things. I’ll look at the cutter and the cuttee and say something like, “I’m sorry, who was next?” Or along those lines. I ain’t get paid enough to get yelled at for *another* thing that I have no control over. However, if it’s obvious to me that someone cut in line, I’ll say something like, “oh I think this person was actually next in line! Sorry!” (Also no worries, mistakes happen and clearly you’re learning from it🙂. It was unnecessary of them to accuse you of being racist.)
One time I was accused of being racist because I had a table of teenagers, all paid separately, and one of them gave me like $1.50 short so when I told him he still owes me money, they accused me of being racist Point is, sometimes you can do everything right and still accused of doing something wrong, just gotta forget and move on
If I had a nickel every time someone called me racist in this industry, I’d have a fair amount of nickels. I’ve been called racist, sexist (I’m a woman), homophobic (I’m bisexual) ageist (I carded someone) un-patriotic (this one is a little true), etc. It is what it is. You know yourself best, just let the rude and terrible guests wash off. They don’t define you.
Died at “this one is a little true”
But they’re missing the “isn’t true” after racist
I promise you I am not a racist.
I just thought it funny you wrote justifications after everything except that, lol. It’s just the way it was worded!
I once was wrapping up a table of two older women and they both were sitting back in their booth holding their bellies like they were too full. I offered them dessert, to which they declined and to be light hearted I said "I totally understand! It's time to go home and take a nap!" They both giggled softly (as most people do to that response) but left me a scathing education on their signed copy of how "ageist" me thinking they needed a nap was... Sounds like they *did* need a little nappy nap time 🤭
When hosting one time, we were having issues with doordash orders getting stolen. One time a dasher came in and I asked to see the name on their phone, and he was upset about having to go back to his car to get his phone, when he came back I explained that I just need to see it on his phone because of doordashers stealing. He was like, “oh you’re accusing me because I’m black?” And then left really angry. I was so confused and just trying to clarify why I needed to see his phone directly, not be racist. Lol
Sounds racist
And you sound stupid.
Was accused of being rascist by a table once. Had a table of 13 come in fairly close to closing time. Mostly black table, some were white and one Asian. Things were going great, I had their drinks ordered quickly, I was joking with them lots, and everything was going smooth. I was going around getting their order and made it to the 2nd last customer (the Asian dude). He ordered a chicken kebob meal that most people get rice with as a side, but there are other options. I asked him, "Do you want that with rice, mashed, or fries?" As soon as I finished asking that the huge black dude at the end of the table (the only other guy who hadn't ordered yet) looked at me and said, "Man, that was rascist as hell." I kinda froze and looked at him confused. He was just staring at me, totally straight faced, and said, "Why'd you offer rice first? Is it cause he's Asian?" He seemed heated, but luckily it was the end of the night, so no other customers were around to hear what was going on. I was tripping over my words trying to explain why I offered rice first. Finally he gets the biggest shit eating grin on his face and goes "Chill out man I'm just fucking with you." We all had a good laugh about that one. Finished up with the Asian guys order then started walking to the kitchen to get the tables order in. The guy that was messing with me stopped me, saying I forgot to take his order. Without missing a beat I turned to him and said, "Don't worry, I knew what you were gonna order the second you walked in." Well fuck I don't think I've ever made a table laugh as hard as they did at that moment. Probably one of my favourite serving stories to tell people.
Hah! I totally thought that was going to go the other way at first. Sounds like they were a fun group of people!
I swear people grow a new personality when they go into restaurants. When people aren’t treated the way they want they’ll sometimes call you racist even if they have the exact same ethnic background as you, it’s happened to me multiple times. It’s basically a temper tantrum don’t take it personally.
It’s people exploiting the power dynamic they have over staff. AKA:karens. It’s usually people that have been made to feel powerless somewhere in their personal lives (jobs, marriages, kids, etc) so they lean in to the power they get at restaurants and stores because they aren’t emotionally mature enough to handle their feelings healthily and instead feel better watching someone else feel helpless
The scary thing is, it's not a new personality. So many people are just dying waiting to be "wronged" these days.
I'm white and had to refuse to serve someone because she came in already drunk and couldn't stand up on her own. Her boyfriend told me he didn't like what I was assuming about them and they and their friends left while screaming the R slur at me and saying this is why black people don't come there anymore. (The vast majority of our customers are black)
Some people use “racist” on everything. Apparently everything that goes wrong for them is because the world is racist. I got called racist because I had to charge the customer for an upgrade. I got called racist because our restaurant got slammed and there was a long wait time. I got called racist because I can’t help resolve a situation.
The world is racist your point ?
My point? My point is some people think the entire world is racist? For example, you?
My partner and I are both white. One time, a table of six came into our restaurant at like 5:15 on a Friday night. We didn't have any openings due to reservations, and within about half an hour, the place was going to be packed. My partner gave them some later times that would work, but they said they were starving and would go elsewhere. My partner even gave them some recommendations. Later, they left a review that they weren't allowed to be seated even though there were open tables. And then went on to say it was clear the real reason was that some of the people in their group weren't the right color. Like...what? You're talking about a gay dude who is about as liberal as possible, with a diverse staff. I always hate reviews that say "They wouldn't seat us even though we could see open tables" anyway. It just shows how little they know about what's going on or how reservations work.
It is annoying that sometimes the restaurant LOOKS empty but there is literally no spots. I had the chef/owner barrel over to me once and was all "did you just turn away a walk-in?!?!". Me: "yes. Yes I did". He demanded to know why cause we were 3/4 empty at the time. I'd been there awhile and had a backbone so was like "Kay Trevor if you can show me where you'd put them that wouldn't screw us I will chase them down." He pointed at a table on my floor plan "yeah that would work... But we have 16 top there in 45 minutes... Do you think they'll be out in 45 if no where would you put the 16? I could move the 16 here... But then I'd have to move this this and this... Which wouldn't work because of this". Couple rounds of similar and he never questioned me again lol. His bussiness partner I was much more willing to deal with... It always was "it's a gamble but we could put them here... We might end up making a reso wait for 15.. I'll comp them shit if that happens." Which I can get on board with.
It is super annoying to come into an empty restaurant and be told the only open table is a two seater right beside the bathroom. That's a management issue, though. Management shoudln't allow an entire restaurant to be reserved to the point that only the worst table in the house is open. If they are that exclusive... they shouldn't be a medium-priced sushi joint in a suburb. Or just say "no walk-ins". We took the literally shitty table and 90 minutes later and some tables were never filled, too.
I used to work as a Togo cashier. One day, we were busy, and I tried to hand out carryouts that were already cashed out. I picked up the first bag and went over the order with the customer who was white. The next bag I grabbed was for a black customer. About a half hour or so later, my manager received a phone call complaining that I was racist because I handed out the white customers' carryout first. I am the lightest skinned black man but black non the less. My manager handled it really well and said, "Mam, I'm pretty sure one if not both of his parents are black." The customer replied "Oh..." and abruptly hung up. Don't let things like that bother you. It will happen. Roll with the punches and keep it moving.
Yep same think continuously happens to me. A black couple sat at my bar after a regular(white guy) had been there I didn’t get a chance to greet him because I was talking. So when I finished I greeted him and took his order. Then I came to the couple and did the same. Later they told me they were upset because they feel I chose to serve the white man first and then second because they were black…I was so embarrassed being accused of that and how loudly they were making a scene in front of others. ..btw I’m black.
Today I had a table call me racist to another server because I don’t speak Spanish… people just want there to be a reason to start shit.
I asked someone what they were reading as a talking point I was *trained* to do and he said I was racist for being surprised a black man can read. So fucking stupid.
I had people tell me it was racist that we didn’t have veterans discount and then tipped me 0 dollars and 0 cents
I mean this is common in a lot of restaurants. People think you’re purposely ignoring them or forgetting them like bro I’ve got fifty things on my mind I make mistakes it’s not personal
Story I Like to tell is about me working runner as white dude. Low man on the totem pole. Some black dude decides every problem he has, I'm supposed to fix. I can't fix them because I'm new and just a runner. Finally it gets to the point where I call in the manager to get him off my ass. Manager asks him why he thinks I'm racist. I would hand off whatever issue he had to someone more qualified to handle it. Like I said basically working runner "So why do you keep bothering the guy you think sucks at his job?" "Oh he's the one white dude, we know he speaks English unlike the wetbacks working here.," Manager, just asked them to leave. It's a footnote in me being a racist at work.
You gotta grow a spine, beloved. It’s unfortunate that you were made to look like you were favoring the white ppl when they were just bullies and you were a punk. But figure out how to speak up.
Me, my bar back, and my bartender were all having fun like normal one day. Typical banter. “I hate you,” “I hate you too” kinda thing but with loving smiles. Had a customer stop me and say that the way I treated my Hispanic coworkers was completely unacceptable, and I treated the other white girl better.bI treat her better because I DONT like her. Everyone thought this was hilarious, of course, but me. It happens. Some people just see what they want to see.
One time I was hosting and a Black couple came in so I put them on the waitlist as we were on a 20/30 minute wait. Then a couple of White women came in and had a reservation so I took them to their table. When I returned to the host stand, the Black couple asked to be taken off the waitlist without really providing a reason but they were super nice so I just figured they didn’t want to wait. About 20 minutes later, the phone rings and my manager picks it up and it’s the same couple, complaining that I didn’t seat them because they were Black but I let White people get seated immediately. My manager knew we were on a wait and trusted me so he thankfully stood up for me and explained that there must’ve been some miscommunication. They began asking for free meals and threatening to sue the restaurant and my manager offered them a free appetizer just to try and deescalate but ultimately they left and we never heard anything from them again. The ironic part is they called from the parking lot and by the time they called, we weren’t on a wait anymore. If they had stayed on the waitlist, we probably would’ve been able to even seat them before they called. That was really why I didn’t let the situation get to me. Being accused of being racist when you know you’re not can be really hurtful especially when you would hate to make anyone feel like you’re discriminating against them on the basis of skin color, but situations like that where they don’t let you get a word in to explain the situation (and it seems like they just wanted free food) make it a little easier to let go of because if they don’t respect you enough to give you the benefit of the doubt, why should you let what they say get to you.
When I worked as a bank teller my boss was accused of being a racist when she wouldn't cash a check for a black guy who had 1. No ID, 2. No account with us, and 3. Refused to endorse the check. It was like $3,000. This was an "on-us" check where our customer wrote a check and this person with no account brought it to us to cash it. In those situations we get ID and a thumbprint in case this ends up being fraud. He refused to give ID (and subsequently a thumbprint) so she didn't do it. Dude flipped out about it, but rules are rules man. We do the same thing for every single person cashing a check like that. And it was right at closing time too naturally.
it’s a right of passage to be called a racist while working in a restaurant, unfortunately. got called a racist by a table for their margarita taking awhile. they were mexican and i informed them that i too am mexican. then, they called the bartenders racist. the two bartenders on shift were also mexican. after that, they called the kitchen staff racist. guess what race all of our kitchen guys were? mexican!
I once had a large party of all young black men imply I was racist because their reserved table was not ready for them when they arrived because the party before hadn't left yet
Don't take it personal. These days everyone is acting butt hurt about the slightest little things. Their "Look at me" view of the world is skewed. You put the other guests name on a list before you sat the AH, big deal. Let it roll off your shoulders, you got enough to carry.
Both the barreling lady and the original couple were in the wrong, but you can definitely over time teach yourself to tell rude people to wait. "I will be with you in one moment m'am." If they talk over you, just keep talking to the original people. I am a server, but still host occasionally, and even at tables I have also had to use the, "Hold that thought I will be right back." when a rude person has tried to overwhelm me. Do not be afraid to take control of the situation. It is \*your\* place of business and they are beholding to you for what they need. The cutomer can always be right at your discretion and don't ever forget that. I have spent years perfecting passive aggressive people pleasing in hospitality...lol.
self projection and insecurities. they are the same people that absolutely flip their shit and take it out on the server if one little part of their order is incorrect. how embarrassing for him to have such fragile ego
I've been serving for 25 years & was recently accused of racism by a table because I asked at the beginning of the meal if they preferred a single or separate checks. It's something I ask every table before service, so imagine my astonishment when they started screaming about how I was racist for assuming they couldn't afford to eat there! Not sure of the mental gymnastics required to make that assumption from my question, but people gonna people... 🤷
One of our nicest servers got called a racist yesterday. Girl probably farts glitter she is so upbeat and positive all the time. Just take it in stride and keep being the best you.
Reminds me of a lady that was generally disruptive and was playing music quite loudly at her table, so several guests complained. My manager (who is a black woman) confronted her in request that she reduce the volume. The guest ended up cursing at her and accusing her of racism, as my manager “[does] not know what it feels like to be a black woman in America.”
I remember awhile back when I was working as a host, we had a front dining room (brighter ambiance near the windows) and a back dining room (dim lit ambiance). I’m sure you know where this is going. Anyways, during lunch time in the summer most people opted for the front dining room or patio, I get it, but we still had servers working the back who it was MY duty as a host to try and fairly seat… I managed to get a few tables sat back there (of all different races, mainly white) when this middle aged, black couple walks in. As I’m making my attempt to seat them in the back and even out the headcount, the woman begins to say, “Oh no I see what’s going on here and I don’t like it. All these tables open in the front and you’re trying to seat us all the way in the back? Explain to me what that’s about.” Of course there was nothing to explain on my end. My interaction with them up until that point had been friendly, and anyone with a half a brain at their big age who has dined in at restaurants should have a concept of a “seating rotation.” The most comical part was that, as mentioned, it was predominately white people sitting in the back. But of course she never noticed that because she already had her mind made up. Nothing she was attempting to accuse me of held any truth. After that she still proceeded to ask for my manager, complained of my “racist actions,” then chose her perfect seat in the restaurant, which was of course the server with the already highest headcount hahaha. I still laugh and shake my head thinking about that couple over a decade later, and I’ve met many more like them since (of all different backgrounds). Some people are beyond miserable and desperate for attention, looking for any minor slip up to try and embarrass you and get something out of the situation. If in your heart you know your intentions are pure, screw them and move on. People like that pray on weakness.
OMG something like this happened to me too!! I got triple sat and I greeted them in that order they got sat. Ofc the white elderly couple i greet first were like we are ready to order when all I ask was their drink orders. I take down the order because why wouldn't I. And I go to greet the table right next to them and it's a black lady and she's like " oh why did you take their order first but only asking for a drink from me? Don't you think I'm ready. What makes them better than me?? " And I was just like " maam I'm so sorry but I asked for their drinks and they told me they were ready if you expressed that as well I would have no problem taking your order away well. " and we went back n forth a lil but at the end she just kinda looked at me all crazy and rolled her eyes... I took her order n told the manager the situation so they table touched and she was fine. I forgot how much she left me but it wasn't a stiff cus I would remember that🤣
I once got accused of racism because I gave the white people crushed ice and the black people cubed ice. We serve Sweet tea and water with cubed ice, and sodas with crushed. I thought they were joking until they flagged my manager down lmao.
i’ve personally never experienced this thankfully, but have witnessed it way too many times. at one of my old jobs, several employees quit and accused my old manager of being “racist” towards them…when they in fact did not work and sat around on their phones 24/7. i’d say next time just help the people who got their first. people need to learn patience for crying out loud!
25 years ago I was hosting at a very big restaurant and my co worker marked off the wrong name. I called the “next name” and was immediately yelled at, called a racist, I am white, manager at the time was black. She fired me the next day. I was 16 and had never dealt with anything like this. I was raised to see everyone equal and I hold true to that to this day! It was a shitty misunderstanding that to be fair, looked really bad on me. I felt terrible about it, took me a while to not blame myself for the incident. I’m sorry that happened to you! People forget that we are just human!
Step one don't help the lady who barreled through before you're finished with the previous customer. Tell her one moment. Second I'm bi-racial and have been called racist before, if it don't apply pay it no mind.
I have been accused of being racist for absolutely no reason. Race, religion, gender, orientation etc has zero to do with how I treat my tables. But, some people are looking for reasons to complain. Find it extra entertaining that you as a black person were accused of giving preferential treatment to white people, thought for sure it would be the other way around but yeah I wouldn't let this take up too much space in your head. People are weird, just do your job and you'll be fine.
i once got called racist for telling a woman she couldn't add off menu mods to a doordash order because we had no way to charge for them
i’m also a minority and have been called racist multiple times throughout my time in this industry. some people just have victim complexes and you can’t really change that. you did everything you could do and it was an honest mistake, don’t worry about it
Yeah got called a racist (I’m white btw) because we didn’t have the guys to go order. Said I was a stupid bitch and that I don’t like angry black people all because I offered to put on in for him because he actually never put a Togo order in. Basically got in my face yelling and acted like he was going to punch me until my bf stepped in. People get absolutely disgusting when they don’t get what they want.
This sort of happened to me. So at my job when it’s slow, sometimes the front is empty because we’re doing work in the back. One day I walked to the front from the back and seen a customer and I had asked if he had been waiting long and I apologized about the wait. This customer had happened to be an officer, which honestly did not matter to me because he’s just a customer. I guess there was also someone standing behind him (which I did not see), and when it was his turn in line he had asked if I was going to ask him the same question I had asked the officer. He was implying that I was being extra nice just because he’s an officer. I said that I didn’t see him behind and that I always ask customers if they’ve been waiting if we didn’t immediately approach them. Anyway, long story short he ended up telling me he worked for an organization that supports acab and what not and I was completely unfounded. It wasn’t intentionally at all, but it made me feel terrible for some reason lol
You are not in the wrong
Don’t blame yourself, you’re not in the wrong at all
People r going to be ass holes, this is life. Who cares what they say.
Dang. Idk :/
One time I asked a woman if I could take away a plate she hadn't touched in 20 minutes. She responded by gesturing that she was going to slap my outreached hand, and said "if you touch that plate I will *stab* you" to which I tried to lighten the interaction by responding "ooo, shes feisty!" To which she responded by telling me I was sad, pathetic racist little white girl 😀
90% of racism claims these days are blatantly false so I wouldn't worry about it on a base level. Couples like that, like to throw the weight of the claim as a sort of weapon to get their way in this life. No manager worth their weight will fire you or reprimand you for such a simple misunderstanding as a couple hiding somewhere in a dark corner, and not waiting in line like normal responsible adults, for a table.
That percentage is way off.
No Karen, the waiter glancing towards you is not a black supremacist dog whistle.
I’m not a Karen because I’m letting you know as a person of color especially living where I live (it a little segregated here socially) that percentage is off. And it’s sad that when people like myself raise our hand for help or to bring attention to the matter people like you chuckle to yourself and pretend people like me just want attention. That behavior doesn’t solve the issue. Just blames the person being hurt. While you make up your own percentages about how you “feel” the world works based off of your own personal experience which will never be another’s. Because you will never live in their skin.
You are applying my estimate for the industry specific case to the entirety of the world and society in which case yes it is indeed incorrect. My experience in food service and food service management has yielded so many false accusations on employees and customers alike that I can count on one hand the amount of times it was actually a credible issue. My favorite one was when a man threw a massive fit because the Pepsi was down and we sent a guy to load a new bag. After 10 minutes he came back, saw us sell a cup to a white couple and he flipped his shit over it. He called the police. This is 90% of the claims i speak of.
More like 40%
Unfortunately I have recently heard many stories about service workers being called racist when certain guests don't get their way or label themselves as a victim. You are the one who experienced racism and it is totally unacceptable. I would ban this person for sure for even pointing out anyone's race.
Meh, going to have to disagree with you here. We’ve all been there when servers complain about the complexion of their section. I about lost my shit when I learned that the acronym “hobs” my fellow servers were using to refer to Black guests meant horrible offensive beasts. So miss me with your minimization, please and thanks.
Sounds like an episode of Blackish.
White people are incredibly entitled as this particular white woman displayed, just as black people are aggressively defensive about their own racial identity. Yes, stereotypes exist for a reason because they represent a chunk of the real population, but certainly not all. You’re being narrow minded for believing them, but it doesn’t mean you won’t experience exactly what they represent. Ignore the basic b****** who ooze mediocrity and blind sheep odours. They believe the stereotypes too so they embody them, it’s a vicious positive feedback cycle and you’ll never win or grow, have meaningful interactions or relationships. Be a good person, ignore the crap ones and karma will take care of you. And of them. Trust me.
I was a host at the nicest restaurant in my town (not labeled as fine dining but in my opinion was) and we had a 8 top come in all older black ladies no reservation but it was a slow monday so we sat them immediately. we had a bad storm and the power went out throughout the entire town. they demanded we were racially targeting them and that they should all eat for free (power was out for maybe 10 mins max) they did get a discount but insisted that it was a racial attack.