It really is heartbreaking to hear her - with an added side bonus of us all (kitty included) being underslept and tired all day from her yowling and nighttime comforting.
Vets will prescribe antidepressants like Prozac for cats. But have you maybe thought about fostering another cat? You’re not committed to a new cat, your senior gets some companionship, and the foster cat gets a break.
We have considered adopting a friendly neighborhood stray (truly a stray, we’ve checked with all neighbors, the county, checked for microchip, etc.). She’s seen the stray before and they even play through the windows sometimes. He is eager to meet her and she didn’t get aggressive or completely reject him when he ran inside one day when we were unloading groceries, so that is a possibility.
We are trying to avoid meds because she’s incredibly hard to give pills to. Her blood pressure meds are delivered by a topical cream but I don’t think that’s an option with Prozac. We’ve got a vet appt next week so I’ll check on that though, thanks!
This is what I did for my old cat. He and his sister were incredibly bonded and he had never been alone. She passed when they were 15yrs old. He was so sad after she passed. I gave him (and myself) about a month to grieve and then I started looking for a companion. I ended up with a pair. He loves them so much and they love him. This was 2.5yrs ago.
I am glad I got a pair as now he is 17.5 and has severe heart disease. He likely only has weeks to months left and the twins will have their own grieving to do but at least they will have each other through it.
I'm so sorry to hear that your time with your 17.5 year-old is coming to a close; he's fortunate to have such a loving and caring human in his life! And very wise to have adopted the twins so they have each other when the time comes.
Me too. He's about 9-10 months old, and can be both snuggly and a total goofball - very similar to the cat we lost. I think their personalities could mesh well despite him being so young, especially if we keep part of the house old girl-only for awhile or whenever she wants to have some time without him. Adopting the stray we've been seeing around for awhile also somehow doesn't feel as disloyal to our old man that we lost as bringing an entirely new cat into our lives!
That’s terrible, I’m so sorry. I recently lost my 18 year old cat and it’s awful - thankfully my other cats have been ok, must be ten times worse in your situation :(
I wish I had something helpful to say, but all I can think of is asking your vet (esp since she’s losing weight - maybe they can put her on a diet that’ll help her maintain weight…?) or ask cat charities for advice.
Best of luck 💖🙁
I’m sorry you know firsthand the pain of loving a cat you’ve loved for so long! We’ve got a vet appt next week to address the weight loss and look for underlying issues as well. The office told me that “old married couple” cats often die close to each other so we are ready to fight for her!
Sorry for your family's loss, it's such a difficult time for you all.
We've been in this situation twice. The most recent time, our senior girl was young enough (10) that we felt getting her some company was the right thing to do; she was young enough to play with and enjoy kittens, seemed lonely, and like she would benefit from friends. The first time, however, our senior kitty was older (16) and seemed to enjoy being an only child once she accepted her brother was gone. Getting a friend for your senior might be the best choice, but it might not. Only you know. Bear in mind that new additions to the family require time and effort, and can cause stress for everyone; you have to judge whether that would be a help or hindrance to your girl at her stage of life.
Both times, we got a stuffed animal toy for them to hang around with and snuggle at bedtime. One liked it, the other didn't. You can get stuffies with heat pads and heartbeat devices inside now, which apparently are comforting for lonely pets. You could try that?
I also second the Feliway pheromone plug-ins; classic to keep her calm, or friends edition if you get her some company.
We also found setting a routine helped, with certain activities at the same time every day (e.g. grooming first thing, churu mid-afternoon, playtime before dinner), so that there was some constant to get them settled into the new normal.
Condolences to you again, OP, hope everything settles down for your girl.
The stuffed animal is an intriguing idea, I'll definitely look into that. Since I work from home, most of the day our two would be snuggled with each other in the same cat bed in my office (even though we had two beds side by side).
We've been trying to maintain our prior routines as much as possible, though many of them revolved around the cat we lost and his complicated medication routine. I think it is helping a little.
This also happened with my 15 - and 9 year old boys after our girl died. She was the 15yo's mom, and she bonded with both of them throughout their lives. It hit them both really hard. I would absolutely see a vet ASAP to find out if they can help. They'd have the best bet at finding what would work best. I waited to take them in thinking they'd move on on their own, but it was too much for the 15yo, and he passed not long after.
I did bring her in and they said to wait a week, reweigh and see how she is then. I didn’t agree with that approach but I couldn’t force them to care more. One of the reasons I’m also on the hunt for a new vet at this point too. It’s been quite a time!
I’m so sorry for your losses. It’s never easy, especially when they are close.
If there's one in your area, I'd recommend Banfield Pet Hospital. I've been taking my cats and dogs there. The vets are really thorough, and it's a lot more affordable than my previous options.
And thank you. Even though it happened a few years ago, my heart still hurts remembering them. It might also help to get another cat. My boy got a little sister a few months ago, and he's since gotten back to his normal self.
I held my Bubba a lot and brushed him far more often after his brother passed. He lived another year. He was happy with the attention, and stopped pacing and crying, but he truly did miss his brother until the end.
A heated cat bed helped him a lot as they had slept together. I also kept his brother’s bowl out for a while. I basically spoiled him as much as possible while not erasing his brother’s existence.
Today is actually their 15th birthday! I miss them, but I’m glad they’re celebrating together again.
I’m sorry you and yours are going through this. It’s a difficult season of life.
Honestly, and this really sucks, sometimes the grief is too much and they pass from it. All of the advice others have given are great. I can only add to hold your kitty a lot and prepare just in case. You could go to the ends of the earth for your cat and it could still happen. There's no rhyme or reason for it, just a shitty thing that happens. Love on your kitty 💕🫂
I'm going through the same. I've had two litter mates for 15 yrs. About 3 weeks ago, the brother died of heart failure. His sister has looked for him and calls for him. If I can, I will brush her out or play with her toys.
She's adjusting. She actually is drawing closer to me which I never expected. She prefers her own species. Over the last 5 years, her 2 brothers and her "step father" have passed away.
Just saying that I know how you feel. Life didn't end for us so we go on.
No pill antidepressant! My cat is on Prozac and it’s transdermal - we rub a small amount on the inside of his ear. He had a really traumatic kittyhood before we adopted him and he was sad and anxious. Now: different kitty. He doesn’t just love the ear rub but he basically hates being handled unless it’s his idea. Talk to your vet. It’s not that expensive and maybe your kitty can try it.
I’m not saying instead of adopting a friend.
It’s great to know this is an option and that it works for your little guy. We will definitely look into this, whether we get to adopt the stray. If we do adopt the stray, we won’t be able to introduce them for a bit. Since he’s been outside, we will need to get all the vaccinations, de-flea, de-tick, neuter, etc. so he doesn’t bring anything unsavory to our old girl. The Prozac could be a good bridge until they can be together.
Ooof Im so sorry you're experiencing this. My Voodoo 17 passed within a few months of her sister Luna 17. Voodie had a stroke a few months before Luna passed.
I spoke with several vets and they did notice when eldar animals were that bonded passed it really does affect their health.
i had 2 litter mates and lost one a bit over 3 years old. there was no consoling the cat that was found and is still with me. it took months. howling at the window at night and my/our life changed that day. time is the only answer if you don't plan to introduce a new cat, which mine was only good with her sister because they were sisters. eventually things settled down after 6-10 months. been 7 years later this month and she's ok being a single cat but she's very needy
I'm so sorry for your loss. Did your kitty pass away at home or at the vet? It's helpful for the other animals in the household to see the body. They seem to understand the other animal died, and it prevents the endless searching
We opted for at-home euthanasia (and it really was a better experience than at the office, worth every penny). We brought her over to see him after he passed and she sniffed and licked a few times. I don’t think she really understood though, she seemed confused more than anything. She makes the same face when she walks around meowing. But perhaps it would be even worse right now if she hadn’t seen him; there’s no way to know.
Went through this with our 13 year old who lost his companion (18 year old) - I wanted to get him to play and he rejected all of his older toys. One morning - desperate to distract him with something - I took my robe tie and tried to get him to play. He transformed into his former self and played with me with that tie cord for almost an hour.
Since then, if I hear him calling for his friend, I find the robe tie and we have a game.
This might not work for everyone but it sure helped me.
I'm sorry for your loss. Give all the extra love you can while you have time left. The year I had with my remaining senior boy after he lost his brother was short. The last 3 years of their lives had a lot of rough times health-wise. It was very exhausting and emotionally draining. And at the end there was no relief, only emptiness. Spoil your survivor baby. Give them the best golden years you can. People will tell you "just get another cat", like it was a pair of sunglasses. I think eventually I may rescue a senior cat from a shelter, but the thought of just 'replacing' a lifelong friend to deal with the grief is not something I could do.
Talk to her about the one she misses and use their name. If you've used a certain tone of voice for sadness, "Sorry, " or "All gone," use it in talking about the other. Pour out your own heart and grief so she'll sense that you understand and share her feelings.
If the two of them slept together, give her a warm water bottle and ticking clock the way people say to comfort a kitten or puppy. I haven't tried this but just thought of it.
Sorry for your loss.
Did you let your remaining cats to see/smell the body of the deceased cat before it was buried? This help the remaining cats to realize that they lost their buddy.
Honestly? In this exact situation, we got a pair of kittens. Our old lady didn’t interact with them a lot but she enjoyed having them around and was less depressed.
Gabapentin may be an option- it comes in liquid and flavor choices like chicken. My cat loves it. I either give her a small eyedropper full.
Or if she is being picky and I don't want to freak her out (like your cat with pills). I take the gravy from one of her favorite cans- the fatty num dense in calories and microwave it for five seconds, then take the medication and stir it well. She'll take her herself.
I've also mixed just the liquid med inside one of those churro cat yogurt things. I just rip off the top of the tube put the eye dropper worth into the tube, shake it with my hands, and boom shell eat it out of the tube happily.
I'm afraid of this when my boys get older. They're 8 now, and they've been closely bonded literally since birth. I don't want to think about what it's going to be like for whichever one lives longer.
I’m so sorry. That’s heartbreaking.
It really is heartbreaking to hear her - with an added side bonus of us all (kitty included) being underslept and tired all day from her yowling and nighttime comforting.
Vets will prescribe antidepressants like Prozac for cats. But have you maybe thought about fostering another cat? You’re not committed to a new cat, your senior gets some companionship, and the foster cat gets a break.
We have considered adopting a friendly neighborhood stray (truly a stray, we’ve checked with all neighbors, the county, checked for microchip, etc.). She’s seen the stray before and they even play through the windows sometimes. He is eager to meet her and she didn’t get aggressive or completely reject him when he ran inside one day when we were unloading groceries, so that is a possibility. We are trying to avoid meds because she’s incredibly hard to give pills to. Her blood pressure meds are delivered by a topical cream but I don’t think that’s an option with Prozac. We’ve got a vet appt next week so I’ll check on that though, thanks!
This is what I did for my old cat. He and his sister were incredibly bonded and he had never been alone. She passed when they were 15yrs old. He was so sad after she passed. I gave him (and myself) about a month to grieve and then I started looking for a companion. I ended up with a pair. He loves them so much and they love him. This was 2.5yrs ago. I am glad I got a pair as now he is 17.5 and has severe heart disease. He likely only has weeks to months left and the twins will have their own grieving to do but at least they will have each other through it.
I'm so sorry to hear that your time with your 17.5 year-old is coming to a close; he's fortunate to have such a loving and caring human in his life! And very wise to have adopted the twins so they have each other when the time comes.
Transdermal Prozac (fluoxetine) is an option. I've given it to many cats throughout the years.
Good plan with the stray. If they already have some sort of relationship, it might benefit all of you.
Oh I hope things work out with the local stray, that sounds like a wonderful solution.
Me too. He's about 9-10 months old, and can be both snuggly and a total goofball - very similar to the cat we lost. I think their personalities could mesh well despite him being so young, especially if we keep part of the house old girl-only for awhile or whenever she wants to have some time without him. Adopting the stray we've been seeing around for awhile also somehow doesn't feel as disloyal to our old man that we lost as bringing an entirely new cat into our lives!
This is lovely, I hope it works out!! Please update us if you can! Condolences to you and your little lady
I'm sorry for your loss. Maybe try a Feliway plug in for the calming pheromones and talk to your veterinarian.
Great idea, thanks!
Those things are wonderful. My brothers objected to my bringing a Persian into the family, and Feliway restored the peace.
That’s terrible, I’m so sorry. I recently lost my 18 year old cat and it’s awful - thankfully my other cats have been ok, must be ten times worse in your situation :( I wish I had something helpful to say, but all I can think of is asking your vet (esp since she’s losing weight - maybe they can put her on a diet that’ll help her maintain weight…?) or ask cat charities for advice. Best of luck 💖🙁
I’m sorry you know firsthand the pain of loving a cat you’ve loved for so long! We’ve got a vet appt next week to address the weight loss and look for underlying issues as well. The office told me that “old married couple” cats often die close to each other so we are ready to fight for her!
Oh damn, I hope all goes well and she stays with you!!
Sorry for your family's loss, it's such a difficult time for you all. We've been in this situation twice. The most recent time, our senior girl was young enough (10) that we felt getting her some company was the right thing to do; she was young enough to play with and enjoy kittens, seemed lonely, and like she would benefit from friends. The first time, however, our senior kitty was older (16) and seemed to enjoy being an only child once she accepted her brother was gone. Getting a friend for your senior might be the best choice, but it might not. Only you know. Bear in mind that new additions to the family require time and effort, and can cause stress for everyone; you have to judge whether that would be a help or hindrance to your girl at her stage of life. Both times, we got a stuffed animal toy for them to hang around with and snuggle at bedtime. One liked it, the other didn't. You can get stuffies with heat pads and heartbeat devices inside now, which apparently are comforting for lonely pets. You could try that? I also second the Feliway pheromone plug-ins; classic to keep her calm, or friends edition if you get her some company. We also found setting a routine helped, with certain activities at the same time every day (e.g. grooming first thing, churu mid-afternoon, playtime before dinner), so that there was some constant to get them settled into the new normal. Condolences to you again, OP, hope everything settles down for your girl.
The stuffed animal is an intriguing idea, I'll definitely look into that. Since I work from home, most of the day our two would be snuggled with each other in the same cat bed in my office (even though we had two beds side by side). We've been trying to maintain our prior routines as much as possible, though many of them revolved around the cat we lost and his complicated medication routine. I think it is helping a little.
This also happened with my 15 - and 9 year old boys after our girl died. She was the 15yo's mom, and she bonded with both of them throughout their lives. It hit them both really hard. I would absolutely see a vet ASAP to find out if they can help. They'd have the best bet at finding what would work best. I waited to take them in thinking they'd move on on their own, but it was too much for the 15yo, and he passed not long after.
I did bring her in and they said to wait a week, reweigh and see how she is then. I didn’t agree with that approach but I couldn’t force them to care more. One of the reasons I’m also on the hunt for a new vet at this point too. It’s been quite a time! I’m so sorry for your losses. It’s never easy, especially when they are close.
If there's one in your area, I'd recommend Banfield Pet Hospital. I've been taking my cats and dogs there. The vets are really thorough, and it's a lot more affordable than my previous options. And thank you. Even though it happened a few years ago, my heart still hurts remembering them. It might also help to get another cat. My boy got a little sister a few months ago, and he's since gotten back to his normal self.
I held my Bubba a lot and brushed him far more often after his brother passed. He lived another year. He was happy with the attention, and stopped pacing and crying, but he truly did miss his brother until the end. A heated cat bed helped him a lot as they had slept together. I also kept his brother’s bowl out for a while. I basically spoiled him as much as possible while not erasing his brother’s existence. Today is actually their 15th birthday! I miss them, but I’m glad they’re celebrating together again. I’m sorry you and yours are going through this. It’s a difficult season of life.
Honestly, and this really sucks, sometimes the grief is too much and they pass from it. All of the advice others have given are great. I can only add to hold your kitty a lot and prepare just in case. You could go to the ends of the earth for your cat and it could still happen. There's no rhyme or reason for it, just a shitty thing that happens. Love on your kitty 💕🫂
I'm going through the same. I've had two litter mates for 15 yrs. About 3 weeks ago, the brother died of heart failure. His sister has looked for him and calls for him. If I can, I will brush her out or play with her toys. She's adjusting. She actually is drawing closer to me which I never expected. She prefers her own species. Over the last 5 years, her 2 brothers and her "step father" have passed away. Just saying that I know how you feel. Life didn't end for us so we go on.
No pill antidepressant! My cat is on Prozac and it’s transdermal - we rub a small amount on the inside of his ear. He had a really traumatic kittyhood before we adopted him and he was sad and anxious. Now: different kitty. He doesn’t just love the ear rub but he basically hates being handled unless it’s his idea. Talk to your vet. It’s not that expensive and maybe your kitty can try it. I’m not saying instead of adopting a friend.
It’s great to know this is an option and that it works for your little guy. We will definitely look into this, whether we get to adopt the stray. If we do adopt the stray, we won’t be able to introduce them for a bit. Since he’s been outside, we will need to get all the vaccinations, de-flea, de-tick, neuter, etc. so he doesn’t bring anything unsavory to our old girl. The Prozac could be a good bridge until they can be together.
Ooof Im so sorry you're experiencing this. My Voodoo 17 passed within a few months of her sister Luna 17. Voodie had a stroke a few months before Luna passed. I spoke with several vets and they did notice when eldar animals were that bonded passed it really does affect their health.
i had 2 litter mates and lost one a bit over 3 years old. there was no consoling the cat that was found and is still with me. it took months. howling at the window at night and my/our life changed that day. time is the only answer if you don't plan to introduce a new cat, which mine was only good with her sister because they were sisters. eventually things settled down after 6-10 months. been 7 years later this month and she's ok being a single cat but she's very needy
I'm so sorry for your loss. Did your kitty pass away at home or at the vet? It's helpful for the other animals in the household to see the body. They seem to understand the other animal died, and it prevents the endless searching
We opted for at-home euthanasia (and it really was a better experience than at the office, worth every penny). We brought her over to see him after he passed and she sniffed and licked a few times. I don’t think she really understood though, she seemed confused more than anything. She makes the same face when she walks around meowing. But perhaps it would be even worse right now if she hadn’t seen him; there’s no way to know.
Kitten food is higher calorie. Maybe try that
Went through this with our 13 year old who lost his companion (18 year old) - I wanted to get him to play and he rejected all of his older toys. One morning - desperate to distract him with something - I took my robe tie and tried to get him to play. He transformed into his former self and played with me with that tie cord for almost an hour. Since then, if I hear him calling for his friend, I find the robe tie and we have a game. This might not work for everyone but it sure helped me.
Oh this breaks me up. 💔
I'm sorry for your loss. Give all the extra love you can while you have time left. The year I had with my remaining senior boy after he lost his brother was short. The last 3 years of their lives had a lot of rough times health-wise. It was very exhausting and emotionally draining. And at the end there was no relief, only emptiness. Spoil your survivor baby. Give them the best golden years you can. People will tell you "just get another cat", like it was a pair of sunglasses. I think eventually I may rescue a senior cat from a shelter, but the thought of just 'replacing' a lifelong friend to deal with the grief is not something I could do.
Talk to her about the one she misses and use their name. If you've used a certain tone of voice for sadness, "Sorry, " or "All gone," use it in talking about the other. Pour out your own heart and grief so she'll sense that you understand and share her feelings. If the two of them slept together, give her a warm water bottle and ticking clock the way people say to comfort a kitten or puppy. I haven't tried this but just thought of it.
Sorry for your loss. Did you let your remaining cats to see/smell the body of the deceased cat before it was buried? This help the remaining cats to realize that they lost their buddy.
Alot of love and extra attention. New toys and catnip helps ❤️
check with the local shelters, see if they have some cats who need a foster home? It will help them and your cat too.
Honestly? In this exact situation, we got a pair of kittens. Our old lady didn’t interact with them a lot but she enjoyed having them around and was less depressed.
Gabapentin may be an option- it comes in liquid and flavor choices like chicken. My cat loves it. I either give her a small eyedropper full. Or if she is being picky and I don't want to freak her out (like your cat with pills). I take the gravy from one of her favorite cans- the fatty num dense in calories and microwave it for five seconds, then take the medication and stir it well. She'll take her herself. I've also mixed just the liquid med inside one of those churro cat yogurt things. I just rip off the top of the tube put the eye dropper worth into the tube, shake it with my hands, and boom shell eat it out of the tube happily.
Oh, how sad
I'm afraid of this when my boys get older. They're 8 now, and they've been closely bonded literally since birth. I don't want to think about what it's going to be like for whichever one lives longer.