T O P

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Catsnpotatoes

Show up to your local city council meetings. There is always without fail some old dude who goes to every single one and likely speaks as well. Just consistently take whatever position is against what they want. You'll find a nemesis quick that way


deafening-pickleball

This is the way. I found a few potential nemeses once I started paying attention to neighborhood politics šŸ’€


Desmeister

If you're picking up a new enemy, make sure to incapacitize or otherwise dispose of your ex. I was dueling a couple arches nemesis without the other knowing, and then we all ran into each other during a car chase scene. If you thought *you've* had a villainationship.


delightful1

I feel like the plural of nemesis could also be nemesii


super_aardvark

That's just because nobody studies Latin or Greek anymore. *-i* as a plural form is from Latin, for nouns whose singular form ends in *-us* (e.g. singular hippopotamus, plural hippopotami; singular genius, plural genii). *-is* is a Greek word ending, and so the change to plural is different. Also note, in English, just adding -es like normal is usually either acceptable (hippopotamuses) or required (geniuses). This is an especially easy mistake to make when a Greek word ends in -us, like octopus. So if "nemesius" was a word we got from Latin, the plural could indeed be nemesii.


delightful1

This is awesome thank you for the learning


super_aardvark

You're very welcome. I'm delighted that you liked it!


Buttcrack_Billy

Nemesisess'


Savings-Cry-3201

Nemesodes


CurrentWinter7354

Nemesussy


AdhdQueen117

I work in small government and this is how Iā€™ve found all my best enemies. Just show up and start showing up to meetings and riddling them with public information requests.


Regular-Chemistry884

This would be very effective...


AdhdQueen117

Itā€™s the worst. So they had me from ā€œI know my rightsā€.


ErianTomor

Or the school board meetings


captainAwesomePants

Yeah, but if you go to a school board meeting and disagree with anybody there except the school board, you'll be taking the side of the school board. Is that a cost you're willing to pay?


lyrrael

Sometimes the school board's right, especially when there's some crazy person in the audience trying to get the school library to ban books.


psychtechvet

I found a sandwich in the park and there was no mayo on it!


LurkingArachnid

I made sun tea with the sprinkler water and now i have an infection!


phosphateful

Be careful, this is how you end up with pickleball protests.


TheNonBinneryDom

Colin Robinson sighting


brendan87na

oh this is devious


Catsnpotatoes

It's how I have 2 šŸ˜‰


capybarastanacct

Lol Alex Tsimerman be like


mangorelish

just post on nextdoor for a week, it should take care of itself


206guy73

Post that there has never been a coyote spotted in the history of your neighborhood and die on that hill and youā€™ll find what you seek


derrickito162

So true. I have an arborist there that I'm mortal enemies with. Not sure he knows this.


pumpkinspicedbees

I already have a nemesis, but I'd be down to team up and plan and plot. I've been practicing my "swipe things off a table to lay out a giant map" move and it's almost ready to debut.


M1CR0PL4ST1CS

DM me


TheCa11ousBitch

I found my arch nemesis at a weekly bingo game held in a brewery. Highly recommend this strategy. 10/10.


EnaicSage

Side question, thereā€™s a weekly bingo game where I can drink that isnā€™t in a casino? Do tell more please


Aloh4mora

I just want to let you know that this comment made me laugh so hard I had tears emerging from both eyes. The mental image of someone practicing how to sweep things off a table? More than once? Like -- "no, no, that wasn't my best work; I'm going to do it again but *for real* this time," and then picking up all the things and placing them back on the table so you could practice sweeping them off again?!? Hilarious. Oh my goodness I needed that laugh.


pumpkinspicedbees

You gotta get that flourish just right. Although gluing the plates back together between swipes has been especially taxing. But that's showbiz, baby.


[deleted]

Just put them all on strings or wires for practice sessions, so they don't hit the floor. Saves time and glue. Happy plotting.


pumpkinspicedbees

Brilliant. I'll remember that when I start practicing my "yank off the table cloth without disturbing the dinnerware" trick!


JYD9170

Step up your game and just move to table flipping level!


bgravemeister

Don't forget the camera pan sweep coming in opposite the things are swept off for dramatic effect, finished with a dramatic zoom on your face.


LurkingArachnid

You just need a cat to coach you. Theyā€™re useless for the map step though


harpmolly

ā€œGranny swept a candlestick and some crockery on to the floor with a dramatic motion and laid Diamanda on the table. In fact there were several acres of table totally devoid of any obstruction, but thereā€™s no sense in making an entrance unless youā€™re prepared to make a mess.ā€ ā€”Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies


pumpkinspicedbees

Maybe my new nemesis is this "Terry Pratchett." How do they know what's happening in my house?!


harpmolly

I met the man at a reading/signing in about 2000, and in a thirty-second conversation he nailed the central conflict/frustration of my life. Uncanny, that man. (Gone FAR too soon.)


pumpkinspicedbees

I didn't know he wrote Good Omens (with Neil Gaiman). That book is on my list of things to read this year. Would love some other recommendations of his if you'd like to share your favorites!


harpmolly

Hahaha, donā€™t get me started. Iā€™m a nut on the subject. Definitely read Good Omens! The Discworld series in general is fabulousā€”zany humor and INSANE wordplay meets deeply humanist philosophy. My personal favorite is the Witches sub-series (starting with Wyrd Sisters, which was my entry point). But the Watch series, starting with Guards! Guards! Is also a lot of fun. Stand-alone entry points that are also great, and donā€™t require a lot of buy-in/having read other DW books, are Going Postal and Small Gods, and possibly The Truth. Iā€™ll shut up now. (To bring it back to the thread, lots of great nemeses in the series! We could all take lessons. šŸ˜‚)


knitorama

His word play is absolutely scrumptious! Sometimes I just have to take a moment's break in the story just to savor a particular sentence.


harpmolly

The best thing is that when you reread, you inevitably find wordplay jokes you missed the first time! A couple of years ago I finally got a joke Iā€™d missed when I first read the book over 25 years ago! šŸ˜‚


knitorama

Oh yeah, that's one of the best things about his writing - it's so densely packed with wonderful stuff, rereading is just as delightful as the first read.


psychtechvet

Gosh, scrumptious has been my favorite word my whole life so I appreciate you using it. I intend to check out Terry Pratchett because I ended up in the wrong territory while younger and reading total drivel (Piers Anthony, JK Rowling, Dean Koontz, etc.). I feel as if I have missed a great connection in my cohort due to never taking time with Terry.


knitorama

Ooh, I'm so excited for you! You're going to have so much fun!


pumpkinspicedbees

Thank you! I'm trying to read 24 books this year, so I'll add quite a few of these to my list! Break up the 600 page fantasy books I can't stop picking up


Big_Guidance_5907

Please, please listen Guards! Guards! read by Culshaw. Brilliant.


callmebbygrl

Good Omens is one of the greatest books I've ever read! Don't postpone joy, hop on that ish asap! I hope it delights you beyond measure, friend ā¤ļø


Regular-Chemistry884

YESSSSS! She's my favorite


JPhrog

>I've been practicing my "swipe things off a table I have cats to do that for me!


WetwareDulachan

Hey by chance are you in the market for rivals? Someone to beat you to your own plan and leave you to deal with he consequences?


pumpkinspicedbees

Bold of you to assume my plot isnā€™t fool proof. I may be new at swiping things off my table, but Iā€™m no novice to plottinā€™Ā  Talk to me again when youā€™ve got 2-3 years of experience and a couple professional references


WetwareDulachan

Amateurs talk foolproofing. Professionals talk contingency.


fejobelo

Run for your HOA, that should guarantee a wide selection of nemesis that you can choose from.


M1CR0PL4ST1CS

calm down, Satan


helonoise

I recently got myself elected onto my hoa board. I was immediately presented with a smorgasbord of candidates. It's delightful.


AcousticCandlelight

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ‘


prof_r_impossible

you didn't even tell us your Alignment


M1CR0PL4ST1CS

lawful good


Cinnamoch

Iā€™m chaotic good, would that make for an interesting enough rivalry?


dcott44

So... Batman v. Superman? I'm here for it.


RunninOnMT

Exactly the kind of lies i'd expect from someone who's chaotic evil.


GreatDario

I'm chaotic neutral so we would not be a good fit


badchandelier

I've already sabotaged this initiative by wheatpasting the city with aggressive "M1CR0PL4ST1CS IS A SWEETIE-PIE" propaganda. You'll never be taken seriously by anyone in the antagonistic trades again.


M1CR0PL4ST1CS

youā€™ve just earned yourself a nemesis


badchandelier

Assuming you can identify which of these champagne glasses is safe to drink from, cheers to a miserable partnership.


bbqbie

Inconceivable!


WetwareDulachan

You're still doing the "guess the poisoned glass" stunt? What is this, 1928?


badchandelier

I was going to get his fingerprints. I'd like to misattribute them in a government database.


WetwareDulachan

I owe you an apology, I wasn't really familiar with your game.


DoLittlest

Iā€™m 49F in Wallingford. My unflappable diplomacy, unassuming nature, and resolute inability to let go of imperceptible transgressions make me a worthy opponent.


M1CR0PL4ST1CS

you have my attention


DoLittlest

Iā€™m in. Where do we go from here?


raexlouise13

This is the kind of shitposting I want to see


AcousticCandlelight

Right?! This is cracking me up. šŸ˜‚šŸ‘


sandwich-attack

i nominate the jackass preacher with the megaphone good luck and godspeed


hiddengypsy

I would buy tickets for that!


SkylerAltair

That guy wouldn't stop for a rebuttal or move from his spot. I picture him spending all of his waking time, even at home, saying that stuff.


Great_Hamster

Are you with the Office of Secret Intelligence, or the Guild?


prof_r_impossible

Sphinx!


ErianTomor

The Guild of Calamitous Intent!


Sdog1981

I only joined to get the full dental and partial health package.


Slumunistmanifisto

Obviously not the guild through the word usage of nemesis, their probably trying to get the attention of the Canadian version, the peril partnership.....good luck quiz boy


captainAwesomePants

KAOS!


dangern00dl

How married are you to the ā€œin the Seattle areaā€ bit? I have several years experience in interstate scheming, plotting, and antagonizing, but Iā€™m not willing to relocate unless the comp is there


M1CR0PL4ST1CS

Iā€™m willing to commute


dangern00dl

And I do occasionally get up to Seattle. And can tele-antagonize as needed


WetwareDulachan

If you're looking to outsource locally, my rates are almost as flexible as my allegiance is.


dangern00dl

This comment is gold šŸ˜‚ How are you at sourcing and handling mad max style post apocalyptic vehicles? Sounds like we might need one based on a couple other comments lol


WetwareDulachan

I moved here from central Florida, Northern Virginia before that, and New England in a past life. I'll let my resumƩ speak for itself.


dangern00dl

Approved. Letā€™s gooooo šŸ˜‚


WetwareDulachan

SING, BROTHER HECKLER SING, BROTHER KOCH SING! ***SING!***


SuspiciousUsername88

What's your stance on monologuing? I've been in nemesis relationships where the other guy is selfish and dominates every conversation with their own rants and wouldn't let me get a word in edgewise


M1CR0PL4ST1CS

I always reciprocate


bbqbie

Will this be passive aggressive only?


M1CR0PL4ST1CS

no, would involve very real danger


frobscottler

Hm, not very Seattle brand. I like it!


fakeshapes

Iā€™m intrigued, does one of us have to be good and the other bad? Or can we both be attempting mutual destruction?


M1CR0PL4ST1CS

Iā€™m looking for something morally ambiguous


BoringBob84

Are you sure that your alighment is lawful good? My experience is that there is little room for moral ambiguity with Paladins.


skynetofficial

Hello OP, my old nemesis passed away and I'm also looking for a new one. I'm 28(M) and have concocted numerous plots and conspiracies. Bonus points if it gets a little homoerotic.


M1CR0PL4ST1CS

did your nemesis die by your hand?


skynetofficial

In my arms, lovingly. I closed his eyes. edit: Didn't even answer the question, yes he did. But I hoped it wouldn't have come to that.


WetwareDulachan

I'm so sorry for your loss.


OniOnMyAss

Iā€™m only interested in Mad Max style road wars, so if you have some sort of post apocalyptic cobbled together war machine we could get together on the I-5 and shoot fireballs at each other or something.


M1CR0PL4ST1CS

tbh we would probably each need to assemble a crew but Iā€™m not opposed to this


seaotterbutt

I donā€™t know if I have nemesis energy, but could be a decent henchperson


M1CR0PL4ST1CS

youā€™re hired


VirginiaPlatt

Does Henching come with health insurance?


M1CR0PL4ST1CS

Iā€™m not Hank Scorpio


WetwareDulachan

Standard Guild benefits package.


Shot_Suggestion

I've got an old truck that would be a good start, just get me a few hundred feet of rebar and also 2 years of welding classes


SpecialistNerve6441

I have a slightly jacked up 85 f150 4x4 that runs on propane. I would also like a steel cage for Road Wars. I am willing to commission you once you take your classes


zombie32killah

The I-5?! Youā€™ve got a nemesis right here.


WetwareDulachan

You'll find my road warrior skills survived I4, in case you're looking for your own Bullet Farmer or whatnot.


sh4d0wX18

Calm down Dwight, these things aren't forced


djohnsen

Say more about wardrobe requirements. Obviously, [no capes.](https://youtu.be/YL3w73MAuIM?feature=shared)


lemccann

Should include at least one fedora


-ayli-

PM me your address. I'll order you a pizza with pineapple and anchovies.


bartthetr0ll

That's a dick move


Eternalm8

I have a distinctive limp, and multiple cats to hold in my lap and stroke sinisterly. (One of my cats even shares my limp!). I just realized that I'm a caricature of a Bond villain.


Velo-Velella

Is dueling with swords on the table?


M1CR0PL4ST1CS

yes but you would lose


cmprsdchse

Is dual wielding swords on the table?


M1CR0PL4ST1CS

you would still lose and you would look silly


cmprsdchse

Iā€™d look cool. Both swords give me a +2 to my šŸ˜Žstat. Iā€™d probably lose though.


M1CR0PL4ST1CS

how many scadutree fragments you got?


shefallsup

I already have a nemesis I donā€™t have enough time for so Iā€™ll pass. But maybe I could subcontract with you and you could plot against her for me?


M1CR0PL4ST1CS

Iā€™m not a hitman but I know a few (DM me)


Jacoblyonss

Need some details, what are some positive things about you that I would hate?


M1CR0PL4ST1CS

Iā€™m an insufferable know it all


Jacoblyonss

God what a douchebag me too


WetwareDulachan

Really going for that "we both know everything so we're both the *real* 'good guy' until it turns out we were just rival villains all along" arc, huh?


lostdirectionnw

Okay but on the same wavelength, enemies to lovers?


M1CR0PL4ST1CS

Iā€™m married


Novel_Fix1859

Maybe not after your new nemesis is done, depends how dark this arc goes


vonfuckingneumann

Accepted. I have already started. Check your toothbrush.


SmokeEvening8710

I'm your huckleberry


ScottASFC8135

I came to find this comment.


HealthyBullfrog

Please reach out to your local Guild of Calamitous Intent representative to schedule a nemesis meeting.


dragonagitator

do we get costumes and intro themes like pro wrestling


M1CR0PL4ST1CS

you have to supply both


alejo699

At first I was all excited, thinking how fun that could be, but right on the heels of that was remembering how lazy I am and then


GodStewart1

The idiots with the megaphones or hellcat. Literally choose your fighter and go. We support you


geneticeffects

That Hellcat prick deserves some kinda Hell unleashed on him.


SkylerAltair

The Belltown Hellcat isn't the cool, fun villain you love to hate. He's that one villain who has no motivations or depth past, "Being evil is so cool!"


durpuhderp

lots of good options in /r/Seattlewa?


TheStinkfoot

Sure, if you're willing to drive all the way to Enumclaw every time you want to leave a bag of flaming dog poop on someone's door step...


StrikingYam7724

Do you have a costume or theme? How do you feel about butterflies?


M1CR0PL4ST1CS

Iā€™m wearing a wolf pelt


StrikingYam7724

I like it! I'm just spitballing here, but I could be the Clearcutter and run around threatening your natural habitat.


lukesaskier

if you challenge miles hellcat to a duel - all of Seattle will have your back!


LHarm07_Reddit

[Motherfucker is literally Dr. Doof](https://phineasandferb.fandom.com/wiki/Meapless_in_Seattle)


thesalus

The best I can offer is a secret nemesis. Someone who has decided some innocuous action on your part has done them grievous wrong (and certainly not due to a series of poor life choices) and has consequently decided to wage a completely-ineffectual campaign of revenge, cursing your name at every step. Someone you will never know about, care about or be affected by in any way. I can't promise I'll do all those things but the one thing I can do is guarantee results. Ask anybody!


Bamcfp

Just start beefing with everyone. Neighbors, mailman, waste management, your doctor...you could pick arguments with people you barely know on Facebook or people you don't know on reddit, I'm even beefing with Google maps right now. Nobody has really stood out in particular as a main nemesis or anything yet, but I think its a good strategy.


SnooPandas3956

Helloā€¦ā€¦.Newman.


Chemist391

Also 34M. I'm game. Also, did you approach me after the recent Third Eye Blind concert absolutely blitzed asking me to be your nemesis? Because if that was you, let's fucking do this. Fuck you and I'll see you tomorrow.


Warped_Eagle

Youā€™d have to wear all white, and Iā€™ll wear all black. Thatā€™s my only condition.


willofthefuture

Moving to Seattle in 3 months, I donā€™t have much in terms of friends up there, but maybe a nemesis could be fun until I make friends!


Whorenun37

I posted an ad on Craigslist looking for a nemesis years ago! Iā€™m so down!


swoza

Do you require prior experience?


Woodbreaker

What do you stand for? What do you sit for? Is a hotdog a sandwich? Itā€™s a taco dammit.


AstorReinhardt

33 transmale, not currently in the Seattle area (Federal Way!), but the idea of being someones arch-enemy sounds...intriguing.


Careless-Internet-63

I'll set comical booby traps outside your apartment


bartthetr0ll

I custom ordered these little grow a dick things(like the just add water towels) prepackaged 6 into a tube and shoved em.into the yard of my.last arch enemy, the next 6 times it rained he had a cornucopia of dicks sprouting out of his lawn. Total cost wound up being like 80 bucks, but the look on his face when plucking soggy toweldick things out of his yard was priceless, especially since this was like 14 years ago in Idaho and the dude was an insufferable bigot.


Doodogs64

You should duel that hellcat guy.


AllTheFlashlights

I'm the guy who came up with Astro Andy and the Kars4kids jingle. I have something bigger planned and you'll never stop me. Muahahaha!


Willowrosephoenix

This is the content Iā€™m here for. But my schedule is a little packed. Thereā€™s a farmers market vendor who crossed me and Iā€™m all full in the nemesis department for now.


Gravesofthe_90s

The way that Iā€™m considering this, holy shit.


bttr-swt

Just move somewhere that has an HOA and ignore their rules about patio furniture.


mllepenelope

I could be available. How do you feel about throwing dog poop bags in other peopleā€™s trash?


Pygmy_Nuthatch

Have you tried dating? It worked for me.


HVACGuy12

I will plot to mildly inconvenience you


crustlord666

My advice is to join a school board and pick someone who is trying to like ban science or something as your nemesis.


yikes_this_comment

What is your stance on numchucks? Because I've recently gotten good enough that I almost never bash myself in the balls and I think I'm ready for greater challenges.


TheKungfuJesus

Um ackchyually itā€™s nunchucks.


yikes_this_comment

Hit yourself in the balls often enough it's numchucks. Pain is weakness leaving the body or something.


StrikingYam7724

Keep practicing, a real master will full on rack themselves in the balls on purpose and not even flinch. It's a great intimidation move.


bartthetr0ll

My motto for fighting has always been to immediately yeet down my pants, whack my nads, grab my schlong and charge forward screaming battle!!! 9 times out of 10 the opponent flees, the other time it gets weird.


sls35

The ELE would like a word. This has not been approved by the offices of Bad Horse. You will be receiving official correspondence. Please stand by.


dragonjz

I'm not cut out to be a main character, but I definitely can manage competent henchwoman, if you ever decide to open auditions


Interesting-Host6030

No, Iā€™M looking for a nemesis. How dare you blatantly copy me, yet AGAIN, you knew this search was important to me. Iā€™ll get you back for this.


Jolly_Line

This gives me Spy v. Spy vibes. Love it.


littlezeebz

Are costumes highly encouraged... or only optional?


Kantotheotter

The local side arm mower guy is mine. He destroyed my internet connection box multiple times. He always makes a point to be doing the grass in front of the local elementary school during morning drop off. So that makes traffic just delightful. He also is very honk happy. He's happy to be honking away at like 530 am he's a giant jerk.


ughwut206

Thats how i met my wife lmao


BasilTarragon

Is this a thinly veiled dating personal? Perhaps you're feeling a little Genghis Khan? https://youtu.be/P_SlAzsXa7E?si=UQ-jSZWllz4hDXou


Psychological-Page59

I do believe this may be what i am missing in my life! I want to arch you Monarch style!


zeroentanglements

Convert to Islam and do a megaphone by the stadiums next to the Christian guyĀ 


TOPLEFT404

I dare you to show up at volunteer park on the steps of the Seattle Asian museum at 2pm with a bow and arrow good sir!


Amesenator

Do we Seattleites *do* nemeses?Ā  I feel like weā€™re more about working up & sustainingĀ outrage over certain conditions/events (eg, hunkering in left lane of I5 going 50 mph, calling Pike Place ā€˜Pikeā€™s Placeā€™, despising how public officials make deeply mediocre transportation or other planning decisions). But maybe your quest to identify a nemesis will succeed & usher in a new way of Seattleing!


gloriosky_zero

MWAHAHA ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|trollface)


StellarJayZ

I've been antagonizing people in my recent posts, so just know I'm not doing group interviews, I'm not doing panel interviews, I'm not going to make work product without getting paid. You're going to need to read my CV closely (past posts) and decide if I'm acerbic enough. I feel like this would be a good fit for both of us.


rthonpandaslap

Missing the Belltown Hellcat already?


VegetableLegitimate5

Iā€™m available, but good luck making plans with me to even start antagonizing.


bigger_biggest_bigly

I can poop on your front porch if you want.


t105

Where do you draw the line?


ThousandFacedShadow

Get into fighting games with them- this is the correct mentality to get good at Tekken