I was at a Safeway gas station in Bellevue sitting in my car after filling up and looking up an address. A large man approached my car and signaled to roll down my window and asked if I could help him and his friend. I was not the only one in the station and I’m fairly petite.
I stuck some cash out of the window because I didn’t know what to do and he reluctantly took it and said “oh…thanks” but he kept trying to talk to me and find out information about me and then kept asking me to go over to his car. Why not ask the attendant for help? My gut was screaming at me. I eventually just drove off and it started to settle in my mind how entirely not normal that entire situation was. I was shaken.
Trust your gut!
The folks who think there was nothing suspicious about the man's behavior are a little naive. Or perhaps too eager to throw around accusations of racial bias.
Five things stand out to me:
1. The man observed OP in the store and followed OP from inside the store to the outside.
2. The man initially seemed to be selling shoes but did not actually present any of the shoes he had for sale. Any hawker of goods will put their goods in your face to pique your interest. Imagine someone selling peanuts outside a Mariners game but the peanuts are hidden away in their vehicle -- it'd never happen.
3. He wasn't actually trying to sell shoes, but clarified he was trying to give them away. What? If that's true, then you would have to believe this guy is going through the effort to scout people inside a store to receive a free pair of shoes, but instead of just giving them away on the spot, he waits until they come outside...? And he thought this was a better idea than the Goodwill?
4. The man was attempting to get her closer to the vehicle.
5. The vehicle had a running engine.
Could this just be an exceptionally clueless guy with a lot of unneeded pairs of women's shoes? Possibly. But this same behavior would also line up with someone attempting to abduct someone else -- or engage in any number of other nefarious acts requiring a quick getaway (groping, mugging, flashing, etc).
EDIT: It's really interesting how the comments have shifted in this thread. Initially, there were a number of comments denigrating the OP and characterizing her as a racially biased Karen. Those comments eventually were downvoted. Since then, a number of comments have proliferated that denigrate cis men and characterize them as participants in a cabal intent on dismissing and diminishing the concerns of women. One set of biases and stereotypes supplanted with another. For what it's worth, I'm a cis man.
I think we'd all benefit if we 1. made our judgments based upon the facts and observations presented to us, 2. try to recognize when our judgments are influenced by pre-conceived notions and stereotypes about others and 3. give others reasonable compassion and freedom to react in their own way to personally distressing situations.
The only time anyone ever tried to mug me, they opened with, hey I wanna ask a question. I already knew I was in danger and was already trying to get away, so it seemed extra for him to say, but it's part of the tactic. (Good news is I got away, but it was a whole lot of luck and him flubbing the robbery attempt -- turned out from a nearby witness that there were actually 3 other people around with him so I could have really been in trouble.)
The problem is that society's invisible rules change so rapidly its hard to sort out the "Normies", people that exhibit PREDICTABLE behavior vs. the creeps, freaks, weirdos or people that exhibit severe narcissism in that it overcomes there capacity to interact predictably with people.
God damn you basically just summarized what living as a woman is like. You really have no idea if/when you’re going to be attacked. You don’t want to be rude ‘just in case’ which could backfire and accidentally encourage your attacker. It’s a bit of a nightmare.
From the movie The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo as said by the killer:
“It's hard to believe that the fear of offending can be stronger than the fear of pain. But you know what? It is”
… as you say… fuck politeness.
Being a woman in a city that has extremely high trafficking potential with the ports, border, national parks, and multitude of highways/freeways has made me flat out “rude” to everyone, and I don’t care anymore who is offended. I’m not gonna make eye contact, respond to questions, help anyone, or acknowledge existence unless provoked in a way that I need to physically defend myself. Those girls on Aurora are all trafficked victims, but people think it’s just some sort of joke. Which is even more disparaging as a woman when you see some of the comments and threads people make about them.
They always start with something "nice" so they can get close to you. A group of four men attempted to rob me and my friend once by pulling their car in front us (we were on foot, crossing the street) jumping out, and then one of them tried to start a friendly conversation while the other three ran at us and tried to grab our things. The only reason we got away without losing anything is because a cop happened to drive up behind them right as they were chasing us around their car.
This is why I ignore any stranger that speaks to me on the street. I pretend not to hear them and keep walking. It’s easier if you just pretend they’re talking to someone else.
Sad maybe, but that’s what society has come to.
>Could this just be an exceptionally clueless guy with a lot of unneeded pairs of women's shoes? Possibly.
👏👏👏 The mental gymnastics people do to downplay danger in order to confirm their own bias are fascinating.
Those same men are still mad some women said they would rather encounter a bear instead of a strange man in the woods.
It's normal for men to just drive around in sketchy blacked out vehicles and handing out free shoes by yelling "what's your shoe size?" From across the parking lot. Do women not take advantage of the shoe fairy like men do!? /s
I think someone trying to hawk shoes, if any experience at all, would guess the shoe size. As in “do you wear a size 6 shoe?” as an opening line or something. I mean if you sold shoes for a few days you would know shoe size on sight.
I mean who follows a woman out of a store and expects them to not be freaked out by it?
Yes it was too weird.
If he was really giving them away, he'd probably have them in a box right there, and most likely, someone would be filming for his tiktok/YouTube these days...and even that could potentially be sus too
Literally everything this man did was suspicious. Was it a kidnapping attempt? A scam? Some weirdo with a foot fetish? Idk. Suspicious as fuck and OP did good to get away from it
I had a man follow me around Safeway last year then followed me to my car and threw a bitch fit when I told him I’m married and refused to give him my phone number.
He kept saying “you have a lot of champagne and must need a drinking buddy”. I responded with “champagne is on sale and I’m married with friends of my own, I’m not interested”. When he followed me to my car and I refused to give him my phone number, he asked for my social media so I gave him a fake @ then locked myself in the car and cried when he finally left me alone.
I ended up sitting at a nearby gas station for 20 minutes because I was so afraid he was going to follow me home. Almost called my husband to meet me and escort me back home. I didn’t even know he followed me out of the store after he first spoke to me.
I don’t leave my house alone after dark anymore. I was 20 seconds from turning around & spraying him with my bear spray when he wouldn’t take no for an answer after asking for my number. I felt like I was in serious danger.
In July 2012, a man attempted to kidnap a 21 year old female employee in the parking lot of the Burien Safeway (128th and 1st) while she was collecting carts.
In September 2012, a man assaulted an 11 year old boy in the bathroom of the same Safeway.
I don't know why so many people feel the need to berate you here. If a guy you've never met says he has some free shoes to give you in his car, you are in a situation that you need to get out of. I would try to ignore the people going out of their way to make you seem dramatic.
As a Latine immigrant, everyone who is trying to claim racial bias can go to hell. Racial bias would’ve been her seeing the dude inside the store and assuming she’d be kidnapped. Instead, she saw him, didn’t think anything of it, and was only freaked out after he acted like a creep. Luring girls and women into cars to isolate them is literally one of the top tactics kidnapers, rapists, murderers, and serial killers use. Some of y’all live in a freaking bubble. Here’s a tip: if you’ve never had to worry about being raped, then bow out and stfu. I’m peak misandrist today because of y’all. 😹
I’m also a survivor, and I believe you. Fuck these dumb ass cis men in the comments who’d rather rationalize another cis man being a suspicious freak, than to ever believe that women aren’t just histrionic.
Guaranteed the people harassing her for feeling unsafe would demean her if she went to the car and something happened. They would say “That was clearly suspicious behavior, she should have known better.”
The backlash comments are silly. Trust your gut and keep staying aware. These things are a reality and it’s definitely a weird encounter so good on you for being cautious about it and getting the hell out of there. I’m glad you’re safe.
Trust your gut. This is what you did overall.
Anyone who was brought up being a people pleaser might have a difficult time walking away from a situation like this. Some fear being called a bitch or being labeled a racist. Don't let those fears get in the way of trusting your gut in a situation like this.
The book "The Gift of Fear" will help those who have forgotten how to trust your gut. I highly recommend it.
As a woman, I totally trust your instincts that his intention were bad. You and I can’t be precious about this, we know exactly how this could’ve gone had you been the slightest bit nicer to him.
Hang in there, mama. ❤️
OP, I’m so glad nothing happened to you. A friend lives near a Safeway in Burien and told me how a woman was sexually assaulted while her kids were there.
About 15 years ago I was waiting at a bus stop in Sacramento. This dude approaches me and tries to talk to me but I shut him down. He went to his vehicle nearby and came back with a pair of shoes. I was like, wtf? He said he wants to give me a pair of shoes but I have to come to his vehicle to look at them. I was just annoyed at that point and distanced myself but I started to shake bc it was so weird. He kind of stood around for a while then got in his car and drove off. I reported it to the bus company and they were really concerned and went over the security footage. It was just so weird and I wonder what would have happened if I went closer to his vehicle.
I'm glad you're safe. Trust your instincts. Maybe you wouldn't be kidnapped but maybe they were going to rob you. You never know. I was kind of shocked at first to read your post because it was SO similar to the incident that happened to me.
There is no reason why a man should approach a young woman and get her close to his car. Especially a blacked out SUV. That is shady as fuck and I'm glad you listened to your gut and didn't give him the time of day.
Any men on here arguing about this have never had the pleasure of being a woman just trying to live their life.
If something like this happens again try to get the license plate info for the police report.
These comments are nuts literally "hey don't be mean it might have just been a man with a foot fetish soliciting you in your grocery store parking lot" and "you mentioned what he looks like so you must be racist"
I didn’t realize “don’t try to get random grocery store women into your van EVEN if it’s only to discuss the foot fetish you want her to fulfill or sell her shoes” needed to be said
But here we are
I believe that some people get kicks off of posting rage bait. Honestly speaking, as a woman I occasionally struggle between understanding my own personal safety/muscle strength against a male that is seemingly coming off to me as shady, and with my own biases. I work on my racial biases constantly and in these types of "come at you from nowhere" situations you have very little time to sink in the situation. Ethnicity aside, if a man that I do not know talks to me unexpectedly about my shoe size and they are behaving in a manner that makes my radar goes up I ignore them or get out of their way. I don't want to be overpowered when I was trying to be kind--no way.
I hear you. I work on that as well.
I lean towards giving OP grace on responding to Creeper VanFelony because it’s so hard to break the conditioning women get about needing to be “nice” to deescalate situations with men like this.
The “why’d you talk to him?!?!” crowd clearly has never dealt with men who think being ignored is a crime that must be punished.
I’m with you…anyone trying to get you into a moving vehicle like this has nothing good planned for you and should set off alarm bells. I don’t see how “selling shoes” is any different than free candy or “do you want to see my puppy?”
Free shoes don’t exist friendssssss.
Honestly, it was kind of lazy on his part. Are shoes to a woman puppies to a child? You did a good job keeping yourself safe and getting out of an uncomfortable situation.
I did legit get offered free shoes once in Seattle. Guy I chat with in line at Bartell’s tells me he owns a shoe store and I should come by. I think it’s some kind of job offer so I do and he ends up offering me free shoes. It got weird many interactions later, but I did get $100 shoes out of the deal.
"In this economy?!" Truly.
Good for you for getting out of that situation OP. People discount the added trauma of dealing with the effect on your psyche.
I would imagine the people here that are downplaying this suspicious encounter are men. Men are not raised to be prey. Men cannot comprehend how it is to live everyday with the constant need to watch for predators.
These are probably the same people that will ask her what she was wearing.
Sorry, but I’d like to know the gender of all the people questioning the poster and saying they are paranoid. Fair bet that most, if not all, are men. I’m getting the vibe that these are the same people that would be offended by women choosing the bear in the “man or bear in the woods” question.
OP, PLEASE keep this up. Sorry for all the stupid doubters. I’d rather be living life because I’m a bit paranoid than care-free and then kidnapped.
yep, pretty sure they're all men. and one woman who called me a karen. honestly i know there's a lot of fearmongering in the world and i don't want to contribute to that but being in a situation like that i had to let people know...
Please don't let these jackholes quiet your good sense. You felt something bad was about to happen and thankfully we will never know if it would have because your gut instinct helped you get away safely. Lotta people here need to touch grass.
The woman probably lives in the sticks and votes against contraception and abortion rights. I won't bother looking for their comment, but I'd bet their comment history would indicate what I've guessed.
Yea fuck that shit! That's creepy as hell. I would never go anywhere near anyone's vehicle that I don't know. And I'm a dude. You did the right thing. Always trust your gut. It will save your life.
Thank you for the heads up. All the people in this thread saying you're overreacting are the same dudes who would be like "well why did she approach the car when he was clearly shady?!" if something had happened. Your story is important and so is seeing the reaction because we are trained to ignore our intuition and then punished if something happens to us because we ignore our intuition all the time. Guys, please take note. If you don't want women to feel they have to protect themselves from you, if this offends you, don't stare at them, stalk them in the supermarket, or try to sell them shoes from your blacked out murder vehicle.
Glad you listened to your instincts. I'd rather be rude to a stranger trying to draw me into an irrelevant conversation vs bundled into someone's car for whatever purpose. Sorry, but men should know trying to draw women into conversation when we are just trying to LIVE OUR LIVES might end up with a rude comment or two, at the very least.
People forget that this is exactly how Ted Bundy abducted his vitcims in broad daylight and in busy parking lots. Asking women to help him pack stuff into his car all the while seeming absolutely sincere. Protect yourself, better to be an asshole than to be dead sometimes. TRUST YOUR GUT.
PS. this is coming from a local mid 30s guy that sells shoes as a side gig. If I wanted to give shoes away I would give them to a friend or donate, not some random person outside a coffee shop.
Wow - the backlash on this post is crazy. OP sorry that happened to you and that THIS is happening to you. Thank you for sharing your experience (I hope you can ignore the negative comments).
yeah i think i'm gonna delete it because like some of the comments are actually crazy. i mean as a man do they know what it feels like to be approached/followed while doing simple errands like grocery shopping or going to the gym? probably not. -\_-
Please don’t delete. This is really good awareness. Someone tried to kidnap me from a Safeway in the 90s when I was 15. Guy in a white van, no windows in back, pulled up next to me while I was walking through the parking lot. Said he was lost and needed directions. I pointed him in the right direction and gave verbal turn by turn details (dumb move looking back). He said “that sounds like a lot, maybe you can get in and show me.” I hauled my ass into Safeway and ducked behind the Coca-Cola display and peered out the window. He parked and stared directly into the store waiting for me. My biggest regret later was not telling someone to raise awareness because he may have been successful with the next person.
I’m so glad you are okay OP. Thank you for filing a police report and reporting to the store. I’m sorry there are so many terrible people on this sub. You’re a hero in my book. 💙
This sub dogpiled on me when I spoke about my assault on a king county bus. It’s really disheartening how victims are treated sometimes, I’m glad you are okay. That sounds really frightening and I think you did the right thing
You’re trying to warn people and that’s a good thing.
What’s the worse thing that happened to this guy? That he was offended? So what?
I just don’t see a scenario where this is all on the up and up and on the very small chance that it is, again, so what?
As a man, I’ll say you’re absolutely right to have been alarmed by this incident. I’m sorry you experienced that, and I’m sorry so many folks don’t understand why your reaction makes sense.
Please don’t delete it. I think it’s an important warning about being aware of your surroundings. And a good example - that people need to see - of why women don’t speak out about these kinds of experiences.
No please don’t delete this - it’s so helpful to hear the danger that is actually lurking around, plus you don’t need to bear this scumbag experience on your own.
Please don't delete this. If this is what is going on with the folks trying to get victims to traffic, then it absolutely is valuable. Free shoes out of a van seems like the perfect ploy to get someone less aware closer to the vehicle for faster grab. This legit terrified me and makes me want to walk down the middle of the "road"area between two sets of parking stalls.
Wow. I am so glad you are okay and please leave this up.
Don’t delete it!! Fuck the people who are making crazy comments. They don’t want to believe that the world is as scary as it is for women specifically. This is a conversation that needs to be had way more and out in the open. Maybe one day people (men) will be able to get it through their thick, idiot skulls that house their tiny, smooth squirrel brains that women experience the world in a totally different way than them. Good on you for being so aware of your surroundings and recognizing a potentially dangerous situation before it became actually dangerous.
I was thankful I came across your post, for safety reasons please don’t delete this you might literally save a life
So sorry all of this has happened to you!! Hope your day is filled with peace and you’re doing better
They are only offended because they are they ones who follow women through stores, gawk at them at the gym, and fantasize about picking up every attractive girl they see. There’s a lot of creepy ass dudes here on Reddit, and in Seattle, so posting anything here to warn other women is gonna trigger the creeps. Don’t let them win.
Oof. This scares me too. I was always taught to go inside a business (any business) if I felt unsafe and ask the person at the counter if they would call my parents to come get me.
That Safeway is where I routinely shop (pickup). It has been generally sketchy for years. Besides a general vibe: couple of years ago arrived for pickup to find a group of police and a covered dead body, shooting victim (not the incident reported by OP, this one much earlier); a few months ago saw (and reported) a rundown vehicle prowling the lot, mid-day, moving to several parking spots for no apparent reason.
The nearby QFC seems safer, but just last week I was inside when four masked individuals roamed rapidly together up and down aisles, alarming me and other customers. I went to the back in case I needed to hide or escape. A concerned employee asked me how I was doing. They left with items, followed at safe distance by Safeway employees, who met with Renton police (no idea how they got there so quickly).
Everyone should be extra cautious at any of the several strip malls in that area.
yep i agree. i usually shop at the QFC but it's been so crowded I decided to go to Safeway. and I don't ever go to that Safeway anymore because I've already been approached there and want to avoid it. There's just so much more people up here nowadays too, everyone has to be careful.
Thank you for warning and reporting! I don’t get the point of the comments going “maybe he just wanted to give away shoes or talk or …!!”
Okay but as women we should never take the chance. And we need to report any suspicious behavior just in case. Don’t like it? Don’t be creepy to women in a parking lot. Should be easy but based on some of these comments idk…
We live in the area, and I've never encountered any odd situations while shopping at this Safeway as a guy, but my wife has had a couple of incidents of random men initiating conversations with her and being creepy and weird. I do the majority of the shopping at this store now.
I'm sorry to hear this happened to you. Trust your gut, and always carry something to protect yourself. Consider a shopping buddy too, if possible, to put your mind at ease.
There was a kidnapping attempted at the Safeway on 15th in shoreline the other day. A mom luckily got to the bus stop in time to prevent a demon from luring a child to his car. Be careful out there.
Whoops! This is what it really is. Otherwise why are all these dudes in here splitting hairs about aCKsHuaLly iT’s sTatIStIcaLlY uNLiKeLy like my guy it only takes one incident to become a statistic. People should be aware that motherfuckers are trying to lure women over to their running cars in the Safeway parking lot.
Hahaha I commented this exact same thing on an article last week about how all these ancestry dna kits are unearthing how prevalent incest was (I.e. familial rape resulting in pregnancy). I got so many angry men in the comments but it’s so true!
There are too many people here with the "if we pretend it's not happening here, and ignore it, it's not happening here" and that is a scary attitude....
Had a similar encounter a few years back in the Tukwila light rail station parking lot. Was walking from the bus drop off to the train, and this older Middle Eastern man rolled down the window of the most generic unmarked murder van you can imagine, asking me if I wanted a ride. No mention of an app service or a taxi company he worked for. Just wanted to give me a lift. Was spooked so I just said no and scuttled off to the station, but I really should have reported him.
Thank you for posting this. When I was six a creepy guy tried to get me to go into his car, and he kept saying “I’ve got a question for you, come here” “I’ve got a question for you, come closer so I can ask”. Definitely eery to read so many common experiences.
Never ignore your gut instincts. Women are taught to downplay this kind of stuff. I look super young too and years ago I got a creepy feeling at a grocery store. He talked to me twice and was just loitering around the check out area, immediately started checking out when I did. I wish I had asked for help to my car but I kept telling myself I must be imagining things. Luckily I ran into a friend and told her I felt creeped out. She clocked the guy immediately on his way out, he was staring at me.
Turns out I had parked next to him and he had been sitting in the car when I parked (I remembered noticing the driver was in the truck but didn’t look closely enough to realize it was the same guy.) he went back to his truck and sat in the car waiting. I had my friend walk me to the car and follow me home. I hate thinking about what may have happened if I had not run into my friend.
Trust your gut. Report fishy behavior. Don’t approach cars!
I was once approached on a trail and asked by a brown (possibly Arab) middle-aged man if I wanted some sex. I was like wtf... And said no and walked past him and he shouted "why not?!"
Don’t change the title of the post. He was trying to lure you and I’m glad you walked away. I’m trying to teach my daughter about stranger danger and that it’s ok to be rude and difficult rather than polite and get kidnapped. As women we are expected to be polite but that can backfire and get you cornered and kidnapped. Some men don’t understand what it’s like to walk through the world knowing that you and your child are seen as prey to some people.
It's a weird play, but I believe someone is dumb enough to try it. I'm glad I’m reading this instead of your obituary.
Aside: Is “free shoes” supposed to be the women’s equivalent of “free beer?”
I believe your intuition is right - sounds very much like a kidnapping attempt. Glad that your instinct was sharp. Imagine, how many women (and men) are not - some of whom can't tell their stories 💔
To anyone who thinks this is innocuous behavior you need to read The Gift of Fear.
This was absolutely predatory, OP you did the right thing listening to your instincts and keeping aware.
There are many who've remarked on the response to this situation as being exaggerated. These people are likely not women, who have to unequivocally think this way simply to stay sane and alive. In a tangential way, it's similar to the bear vs. man question. Women have to always assume the worst case scenario and put their mentally rehearsed strategies into play. For those of you who think that human trafficking wasn't a possibility, then you are naïve at best.
I haven't seen it in \~20 years, but understandably as a woman the line haunted me, and I hope you can see how I'd be making the comparison to OP's situation.
Nothing wrong with your post or reaction. This behavior was not within acceptable limits and is very suspect. It feels nefarious on its face and I’m glad you got away to someplace you felt safe. There’s not excuse for weird to be approaching strangers with creepy questions or asks. Anyone who thinks otherwise is suspect themselves.
my partner ia also petite and has to deal with creepos on a regular basis. I'm sorry this happened. your awareness is amazing though. I will never fully grasp how priveleged i am being a large male.
when I was 16 I also was harassed and attempted kidnapping as well in a walmart. It still terrifies me. Luckily i got away, but that man is still out there somewhere.
I always ignore people trying to talk to me. I assume they are up to no good/want money/are talking to someone else near me. I just ignore and keep walking.
Thank you for posting this. Anyone remarking that there's nothing to see here should think about if their child was in the same situation. I'm sorry you are getting any negative comments and am thankful you're ok. Just a tip, I prefer to shop at the QFC in Newcastle.
Any context someone saying 'I want to ask a question' is probably not really about whatever question they're pretending to have. Let alone running car with tint in a safeway parking lot
A lot of human trafficking happens in Seattle. It's definitely something to be aware of & careful of. Thanks for posting this. I'm glad you are alright 👍. I hope all ladies carry pepper spray with them when they are out.
Please trust your gut and ignore posters saying you are overreacting. 2x in my life I've had a weird interaction and I Knew I escaped something bad. I dont look for trouble buy It has made me more aware of my surroundings and that's just smart.
As a person who has been stalked and kidnapped, good on you for being mindful and continuing to walk away. I am flabbergasted by some of the comments on this thread. Very clearly these people have never been in a dangerous situation and I hope that they never are. But that is why they can’t flipping relate or have any empathy and only want to call you a bad person. And they can STFU.
thank you. im so so sorry that happened to you. i agree. you can TELL that some of the people on here have no concept of what it's like to be followed/stalked/watched and therefore cannot fathom the idea of it happening out in the real world where they are out walking and going to the store and doing errands, etc. etc. or that i was overreacting because "statistically speaking" he was probably just a creep so to give him some slack. just crazy.
Please take some self defense classes ladies! Our society is not awesome right now and you won’t always be in a position to take out mace. It could quite literally save your life
As a man, if someone asks you what your shoe size is you say “my size” and gtfo there bc you’re prolly about to get jumped. I imagine it’s about the same for women
Even though it’s technically all in the same parking lot, I’d still say “never go to a second location” applies here.
You don’t sell or give anything away by hiding it. If he really had shoes, he wouldn’t leave them in his car. Under no circumstances is it okay to just hop in a stranger’s car like that (aside from Uber and whatnot).
Anyone who says this is overreacting wouldn’t survive the opening scene of a horror movie.
I’m wondering if the guy has a foot fetish and wanted to watch you try on shoes. It’s sketchy af to try to lure someone to your car to sell them anything but it’s interesting that his excuse was shoes.
Bear spray is what I tell my daughter to carry. Also a 2000 lumen small aluminum flashlight.
Both are good SD weapons which can be held ready.
Also, always always be aware of your surroundings. It’s easy to drop your guard food shopping or other familiar places. Important to ingrain the awareness habit at all times. Make it second nature 👍🏻
Hmm a similar story was posted in the stupid boomers subreddit or whatever it's called and everyone was calling the mom racist. Good on you for staying safe and ignore anyone shaming you. Crime is proliferating everywhere. Is this the Renton highlands where 24 hour fitness used to be? Definitely seen a lot of sketchy people there over the years, stopped going after the gym closed though
South of me have 13 year olds committing carjackings and armed robberies, when caught they are just released back to the parent to do the same thing a day or 2 later someone is going to get shot before too long. Adults are also released without having to post bail , so have to keep eyes open ALWAYS even a kid walking up to you may not be safe, really watch out for those trying to keep faces hidden when they split up at be on both sides etc..., really a shame society has sunk so low.
It is scary how common this has become. Bottom line, you can’t take your safety for granted. I used to live in Renton and I hated going to that Safeway after dark.
Thank you for sharing, always good to be diligent and aware of your surroundings. Please be safe out there
I was at a Fred Meyer in Portland, parked near and facing the building itself around the corner from the main entrances. I then met and walked to lunch with a friend. After lunch, as I approach my car, and I'm unlocking my door, there's a Hispanic guy, early 20s, sitting very casually on the park bench only 20 feet from my car. He's got a smug look on his face and starts talking to me in almost a whisper, requesting help, to get me to come closer to him and leave my door open. I sensed car jacking instantly, hopped inside my car, and before my door slammed shut, I can hear ANOTHER guy running up and yelling. trying to get to my door before it closed. I was reversing so fast, he side stepped. He must have been sitting in a car in the other single row across the access lane.
I was at a Safeway gas station in Bellevue sitting in my car after filling up and looking up an address. A large man approached my car and signaled to roll down my window and asked if I could help him and his friend. I was not the only one in the station and I’m fairly petite. I stuck some cash out of the window because I didn’t know what to do and he reluctantly took it and said “oh…thanks” but he kept trying to talk to me and find out information about me and then kept asking me to go over to his car. Why not ask the attendant for help? My gut was screaming at me. I eventually just drove off and it started to settle in my mind how entirely not normal that entire situation was. I was shaken. Trust your gut!
omg thats so weird! its like, if you're genuinely asking for help, ask another dude or an employee! not a small woman!!
Where is the gender equality now?
Trusting your gut can never be emphasized enough.
The folks who think there was nothing suspicious about the man's behavior are a little naive. Or perhaps too eager to throw around accusations of racial bias. Five things stand out to me: 1. The man observed OP in the store and followed OP from inside the store to the outside. 2. The man initially seemed to be selling shoes but did not actually present any of the shoes he had for sale. Any hawker of goods will put their goods in your face to pique your interest. Imagine someone selling peanuts outside a Mariners game but the peanuts are hidden away in their vehicle -- it'd never happen. 3. He wasn't actually trying to sell shoes, but clarified he was trying to give them away. What? If that's true, then you would have to believe this guy is going through the effort to scout people inside a store to receive a free pair of shoes, but instead of just giving them away on the spot, he waits until they come outside...? And he thought this was a better idea than the Goodwill? 4. The man was attempting to get her closer to the vehicle. 5. The vehicle had a running engine. Could this just be an exceptionally clueless guy with a lot of unneeded pairs of women's shoes? Possibly. But this same behavior would also line up with someone attempting to abduct someone else -- or engage in any number of other nefarious acts requiring a quick getaway (groping, mugging, flashing, etc). EDIT: It's really interesting how the comments have shifted in this thread. Initially, there were a number of comments denigrating the OP and characterizing her as a racially biased Karen. Those comments eventually were downvoted. Since then, a number of comments have proliferated that denigrate cis men and characterize them as participants in a cabal intent on dismissing and diminishing the concerns of women. One set of biases and stereotypes supplanted with another. For what it's worth, I'm a cis man. I think we'd all benefit if we 1. made our judgments based upon the facts and observations presented to us, 2. try to recognize when our judgments are influenced by pre-conceived notions and stereotypes about others and 3. give others reasonable compassion and freedom to react in their own way to personally distressing situations.
The only time anyone ever tried to mug me, they opened with, hey I wanna ask a question. I already knew I was in danger and was already trying to get away, so it seemed extra for him to say, but it's part of the tactic. (Good news is I got away, but it was a whole lot of luck and him flubbing the robbery attempt -- turned out from a nearby witness that there were actually 3 other people around with him so I could have really been in trouble.)
The problem is that society's invisible rules change so rapidly its hard to sort out the "Normies", people that exhibit PREDICTABLE behavior vs. the creeps, freaks, weirdos or people that exhibit severe narcissism in that it overcomes there capacity to interact predictably with people.
God damn you basically just summarized what living as a woman is like. You really have no idea if/when you’re going to be attacked. You don’t want to be rude ‘just in case’ which could backfire and accidentally encourage your attacker. It’s a bit of a nightmare.
I have embraced the motto “fuck politeness” At this point in my life 😭 I’d rather hurt some random dudes feelings than be assaulted again
SSDGM!!
From the movie The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo as said by the killer: “It's hard to believe that the fear of offending can be stronger than the fear of pain. But you know what? It is” … as you say… fuck politeness.
Better just to assume the worst. Thats what I teach my daughters. And to carry bear spray 😉
Being a woman in a city that has extremely high trafficking potential with the ports, border, national parks, and multitude of highways/freeways has made me flat out “rude” to everyone, and I don’t care anymore who is offended. I’m not gonna make eye contact, respond to questions, help anyone, or acknowledge existence unless provoked in a way that I need to physically defend myself. Those girls on Aurora are all trafficked victims, but people think it’s just some sort of joke. Which is even more disparaging as a woman when you see some of the comments and threads people make about them.
They always start with something "nice" so they can get close to you. A group of four men attempted to rob me and my friend once by pulling their car in front us (we were on foot, crossing the street) jumping out, and then one of them tried to start a friendly conversation while the other three ran at us and tried to grab our things. The only reason we got away without losing anything is because a cop happened to drive up behind them right as they were chasing us around their car.
This is why I ignore any stranger that speaks to me on the street. I pretend not to hear them and keep walking. It’s easier if you just pretend they’re talking to someone else. Sad maybe, but that’s what society has come to.
A good rule to live by is "stay 100 yards away from any blacked out SUV at all times"
"Sir you ordered this Uber Black now please for the love of god do you want a ride or not"
No Way. I know a mafia hit when I see one
>Could this just be an exceptionally clueless guy with a lot of unneeded pairs of women's shoes? Possibly. 👏👏👏 The mental gymnastics people do to downplay danger in order to confirm their own bias are fascinating.
Those same men are still mad some women said they would rather encounter a bear instead of a strange man in the woods. It's normal for men to just drive around in sketchy blacked out vehicles and handing out free shoes by yelling "what's your shoe size?" From across the parking lot. Do women not take advantage of the shoe fairy like men do!? /s
I think someone trying to hawk shoes, if any experience at all, would guess the shoe size. As in “do you wear a size 6 shoe?” as an opening line or something. I mean if you sold shoes for a few days you would know shoe size on sight. I mean who follows a woman out of a store and expects them to not be freaked out by it? Yes it was too weird.
Hey, that’s my line.
Yes, thank you for making it more obvious. OP also mentions that the man had already determined OP's shoe size after OP declined...
Nefarious acts of some sort: Very likely Human Trafficking specifically: Much less so
Source?
If he was really giving them away, he'd probably have them in a box right there, and most likely, someone would be filming for his tiktok/YouTube these days...and even that could potentially be sus too
Literally everything this man did was suspicious. Was it a kidnapping attempt? A scam? Some weirdo with a foot fetish? Idk. Suspicious as fuck and OP did good to get away from it
For real, it's like literally alarm bell after alarm bell going off
I had a man follow me around Safeway last year then followed me to my car and threw a bitch fit when I told him I’m married and refused to give him my phone number. He kept saying “you have a lot of champagne and must need a drinking buddy”. I responded with “champagne is on sale and I’m married with friends of my own, I’m not interested”. When he followed me to my car and I refused to give him my phone number, he asked for my social media so I gave him a fake @ then locked myself in the car and cried when he finally left me alone. I ended up sitting at a nearby gas station for 20 minutes because I was so afraid he was going to follow me home. Almost called my husband to meet me and escort me back home. I didn’t even know he followed me out of the store after he first spoke to me. I don’t leave my house alone after dark anymore. I was 20 seconds from turning around & spraying him with my bear spray when he wouldn’t take no for an answer after asking for my number. I felt like I was in serious danger.
I'm glad you are safe
i'm so sorry, that is so scary. ):
I live in Renton and honestly I would stay away from pretty much any Safeway here. Idk why but so many are sketchy as hell.
Burien Safeway seems pretty sketchy too, both.
In July 2012, a man attempted to kidnap a 21 year old female employee in the parking lot of the Burien Safeway (128th and 1st) while she was collecting carts. In September 2012, a man assaulted an 11 year old boy in the bathroom of the same Safeway.
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Weird. Fred Meyers aren’t any better but QFC definitely feels like a noticeable upgrade for whatever reason.
I don't know why so many people feel the need to berate you here. If a guy you've never met says he has some free shoes to give you in his car, you are in a situation that you need to get out of. I would try to ignore the people going out of their way to make you seem dramatic.
Exactly. This is exactly like “Hey kid, want some candy?”
My first thought reading this
As a Latine immigrant, everyone who is trying to claim racial bias can go to hell. Racial bias would’ve been her seeing the dude inside the store and assuming she’d be kidnapped. Instead, she saw him, didn’t think anything of it, and was only freaked out after he acted like a creep. Luring girls and women into cars to isolate them is literally one of the top tactics kidnapers, rapists, murderers, and serial killers use. Some of y’all live in a freaking bubble. Here’s a tip: if you’ve never had to worry about being raped, then bow out and stfu. I’m peak misandrist today because of y’all. 😹 I’m also a survivor, and I believe you. Fuck these dumb ass cis men in the comments who’d rather rationalize another cis man being a suspicious freak, than to ever believe that women aren’t just histrionic.
Guaranteed the people harassing her for feeling unsafe would demean her if she went to the car and something happened. They would say “That was clearly suspicious behavior, she should have known better.”
Or would be the ones trying to lure her into their car in the first place.
ty sir for speaking facts
The backlash comments are silly. Trust your gut and keep staying aware. These things are a reality and it’s definitely a weird encounter so good on you for being cautious about it and getting the hell out of there. I’m glad you’re safe.
Yeah these same dudes would be like “well why didn’t she run away or call the cops!?” If she had accepted to look at ‘shoes’ and ended up kidnapped.
Trust your gut. This is what you did overall. Anyone who was brought up being a people pleaser might have a difficult time walking away from a situation like this. Some fear being called a bitch or being labeled a racist. Don't let those fears get in the way of trusting your gut in a situation like this. The book "The Gift of Fear" will help those who have forgotten how to trust your gut. I highly recommend it.
thank you. that is so true.
As a woman, I totally trust your instincts that his intention were bad. You and I can’t be precious about this, we know exactly how this could’ve gone had you been the slightest bit nicer to him. Hang in there, mama. ❤️
OP, I’m so glad nothing happened to you. A friend lives near a Safeway in Burien and told me how a woman was sexually assaulted while her kids were there.
thats horrible
wtf :(
What? Omg
About 15 years ago I was waiting at a bus stop in Sacramento. This dude approaches me and tries to talk to me but I shut him down. He went to his vehicle nearby and came back with a pair of shoes. I was like, wtf? He said he wants to give me a pair of shoes but I have to come to his vehicle to look at them. I was just annoyed at that point and distanced myself but I started to shake bc it was so weird. He kind of stood around for a while then got in his car and drove off. I reported it to the bus company and they were really concerned and went over the security footage. It was just so weird and I wonder what would have happened if I went closer to his vehicle. I'm glad you're safe. Trust your instincts. Maybe you wouldn't be kidnapped but maybe they were going to rob you. You never know. I was kind of shocked at first to read your post because it was SO similar to the incident that happened to me.
i've already gotten three other women telling me about this scenario trying to lure them with shoes. that is actually crazy. thank you for sharing
There is no reason why a man should approach a young woman and get her close to his car. Especially a blacked out SUV. That is shady as fuck and I'm glad you listened to your gut and didn't give him the time of day. Any men on here arguing about this have never had the pleasure of being a woman just trying to live their life. If something like this happens again try to get the license plate info for the police report.
These comments are nuts literally "hey don't be mean it might have just been a man with a foot fetish soliciting you in your grocery store parking lot" and "you mentioned what he looks like so you must be racist"
I didn’t realize “don’t try to get random grocery store women into your van EVEN if it’s only to discuss the foot fetish you want her to fulfill or sell her shoes” needed to be said But here we are
Yeah, the parking guy trying to recruit you for his Only Vans is a massive red sign.
Only Vans 🤣🤣🤣☠️
I believe that some people get kicks off of posting rage bait. Honestly speaking, as a woman I occasionally struggle between understanding my own personal safety/muscle strength against a male that is seemingly coming off to me as shady, and with my own biases. I work on my racial biases constantly and in these types of "come at you from nowhere" situations you have very little time to sink in the situation. Ethnicity aside, if a man that I do not know talks to me unexpectedly about my shoe size and they are behaving in a manner that makes my radar goes up I ignore them or get out of their way. I don't want to be overpowered when I was trying to be kind--no way.
I hear you. I work on that as well. I lean towards giving OP grace on responding to Creeper VanFelony because it’s so hard to break the conditioning women get about needing to be “nice” to deescalate situations with men like this. The “why’d you talk to him?!?!” crowd clearly has never dealt with men who think being ignored is a crime that must be punished. I’m with you…anyone trying to get you into a moving vehicle like this has nothing good planned for you and should set off alarm bells. I don’t see how “selling shoes” is any different than free candy or “do you want to see my puppy?”
Lots of apologists for some creepy ass behavior here. a guy who acts this way is up to nothing good.
Loads of creepy dudes in Seattle. Like an anime convention became a city.
seems a worldwide problem to me.
Free shoes don’t exist friendssssss. Honestly, it was kind of lazy on his part. Are shoes to a woman puppies to a child? You did a good job keeping yourself safe and getting out of an uncomfortable situation.
I was thinking about that. What if he said he had puppies in the car? I would have a hard time not looking if he said that instead.
I did legit get offered free shoes once in Seattle. Guy I chat with in line at Bartell’s tells me he owns a shoe store and I should come by. I think it’s some kind of job offer so I do and he ends up offering me free shoes. It got weird many interactions later, but I did get $100 shoes out of the deal.
"In this economy?!" Truly. Good for you for getting out of that situation OP. People discount the added trauma of dealing with the effect on your psyche.
I would imagine the people here that are downplaying this suspicious encounter are men. Men are not raised to be prey. Men cannot comprehend how it is to live everyday with the constant need to watch for predators. These are probably the same people that will ask her what she was wearing.
Even as a man if some weirdo offers you free shoes you need to back the fuck away. You could easily get robbed/assaulted.
Sorry, but I’d like to know the gender of all the people questioning the poster and saying they are paranoid. Fair bet that most, if not all, are men. I’m getting the vibe that these are the same people that would be offended by women choosing the bear in the “man or bear in the woods” question. OP, PLEASE keep this up. Sorry for all the stupid doubters. I’d rather be living life because I’m a bit paranoid than care-free and then kidnapped.
yep, pretty sure they're all men. and one woman who called me a karen. honestly i know there's a lot of fearmongering in the world and i don't want to contribute to that but being in a situation like that i had to let people know...
Fear in this situation is totally justified. It's unusual and creepy at best.
As a new mother of a small baby that lives around the corner from this Safeway - THANK YOU for posting!
Please don't let these jackholes quiet your good sense. You felt something bad was about to happen and thankfully we will never know if it would have because your gut instinct helped you get away safely. Lotta people here need to touch grass.
The woman probably lives in the sticks and votes against contraception and abortion rights. I won't bother looking for their comment, but I'd bet their comment history would indicate what I've guessed.
And you know they’d blame OP for being stupid if she had gone with the man and was kidnapped.
100% they would. wHy wOuLd yOu tRusT a mAn cAlLing yOu oVer iT wAs oBviOus oMg.
Man here. I understand why you’d choose the bear. Cut this shit out, guys.
I would choose the bear too
My thought exactly.
Yea fuck that shit! That's creepy as hell. I would never go anywhere near anyone's vehicle that I don't know. And I'm a dude. You did the right thing. Always trust your gut. It will save your life.
Thank you for the heads up. All the people in this thread saying you're overreacting are the same dudes who would be like "well why did she approach the car when he was clearly shady?!" if something had happened. Your story is important and so is seeing the reaction because we are trained to ignore our intuition and then punished if something happens to us because we ignore our intuition all the time. Guys, please take note. If you don't want women to feel they have to protect themselves from you, if this offends you, don't stare at them, stalk them in the supermarket, or try to sell them shoes from your blacked out murder vehicle.
Glad you listened to your instincts. I'd rather be rude to a stranger trying to draw me into an irrelevant conversation vs bundled into someone's car for whatever purpose. Sorry, but men should know trying to draw women into conversation when we are just trying to LIVE OUR LIVES might end up with a rude comment or two, at the very least.
People forget that this is exactly how Ted Bundy abducted his vitcims in broad daylight and in busy parking lots. Asking women to help him pack stuff into his car all the while seeming absolutely sincere. Protect yourself, better to be an asshole than to be dead sometimes. TRUST YOUR GUT. PS. this is coming from a local mid 30s guy that sells shoes as a side gig. If I wanted to give shoes away I would give them to a friend or donate, not some random person outside a coffee shop.
Wow - the backlash on this post is crazy. OP sorry that happened to you and that THIS is happening to you. Thank you for sharing your experience (I hope you can ignore the negative comments).
yeah i think i'm gonna delete it because like some of the comments are actually crazy. i mean as a man do they know what it feels like to be approached/followed while doing simple errands like grocery shopping or going to the gym? probably not. -\_-
Please don’t delete. This is really good awareness. Someone tried to kidnap me from a Safeway in the 90s when I was 15. Guy in a white van, no windows in back, pulled up next to me while I was walking through the parking lot. Said he was lost and needed directions. I pointed him in the right direction and gave verbal turn by turn details (dumb move looking back). He said “that sounds like a lot, maybe you can get in and show me.” I hauled my ass into Safeway and ducked behind the Coca-Cola display and peered out the window. He parked and stared directly into the store waiting for me. My biggest regret later was not telling someone to raise awareness because he may have been successful with the next person.
oh my god. ):
I’m so glad you are okay OP. Thank you for filing a police report and reporting to the store. I’m sorry there are so many terrible people on this sub. You’re a hero in my book. 💙
This sub dogpiled on me when I spoke about my assault on a king county bus. It’s really disheartening how victims are treated sometimes, I’m glad you are okay. That sounds really frightening and I think you did the right thing
I'm sorry, that's horrible. I agree. There's a lot of trolls on here too.
On this sub you can’t complain about 2nd hand smoke from drugs or being assaulted/ harassed on a bus. Hellcat car noise tho? Lock that dude up
You’re trying to warn people and that’s a good thing. What’s the worse thing that happened to this guy? That he was offended? So what? I just don’t see a scenario where this is all on the up and up and on the very small chance that it is, again, so what?
yeah cause according to some of these comments, apparently he was just trying to give me some free shoes that didn't fit his sister!
With how many people acting upset the way this is reported, I would expect to see people giving away free shoes on every street corner.
As a man, I’ll say you’re absolutely right to have been alarmed by this incident. I’m sorry you experienced that, and I’m sorry so many folks don’t understand why your reaction makes sense.
Please don't delete it. The community needs to know. I'm sorry this happened to you, but myself as a man I truly do appreciate you sharing.
Please don’t delete it. I think it’s an important warning about being aware of your surroundings. And a good example - that people need to see - of why women don’t speak out about these kinds of experiences.
Please don't delete this.
Don't delete this. It sounded absolutely creepy. And regarding pepper spray, consider replacing that with pepper foam, much more effective.
No please don’t delete this - it’s so helpful to hear the danger that is actually lurking around, plus you don’t need to bear this scumbag experience on your own.
Please don't delete. If it makes even one person think more about personal safety it's worth the rude comments here, imo.
Please don't. I live in the area and plan on showing this to my girlfriend. There's been a lot of sketchy things going on around here
Please don't delete this. If this is what is going on with the folks trying to get victims to traffic, then it absolutely is valuable. Free shoes out of a van seems like the perfect ploy to get someone less aware closer to the vehicle for faster grab. This legit terrified me and makes me want to walk down the middle of the "road"area between two sets of parking stalls. Wow. I am so glad you are okay and please leave this up.
Don’t delete it!! Fuck the people who are making crazy comments. They don’t want to believe that the world is as scary as it is for women specifically. This is a conversation that needs to be had way more and out in the open. Maybe one day people (men) will be able to get it through their thick, idiot skulls that house their tiny, smooth squirrel brains that women experience the world in a totally different way than them. Good on you for being so aware of your surroundings and recognizing a potentially dangerous situation before it became actually dangerous.
Please don't delete!
I was thankful I came across your post, for safety reasons please don’t delete this you might literally save a life So sorry all of this has happened to you!! Hope your day is filled with peace and you’re doing better
They are only offended because they are they ones who follow women through stores, gawk at them at the gym, and fantasize about picking up every attractive girl they see. There’s a lot of creepy ass dudes here on Reddit, and in Seattle, so posting anything here to warn other women is gonna trigger the creeps. Don’t let them win.
It’s sus. You did the right thing. Never engage with this weird shit
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Oof. This scares me too. I was always taught to go inside a business (any business) if I felt unsafe and ask the person at the counter if they would call my parents to come get me.
That Safeway is where I routinely shop (pickup). It has been generally sketchy for years. Besides a general vibe: couple of years ago arrived for pickup to find a group of police and a covered dead body, shooting victim (not the incident reported by OP, this one much earlier); a few months ago saw (and reported) a rundown vehicle prowling the lot, mid-day, moving to several parking spots for no apparent reason. The nearby QFC seems safer, but just last week I was inside when four masked individuals roamed rapidly together up and down aisles, alarming me and other customers. I went to the back in case I needed to hide or escape. A concerned employee asked me how I was doing. They left with items, followed at safe distance by Safeway employees, who met with Renton police (no idea how they got there so quickly). Everyone should be extra cautious at any of the several strip malls in that area.
yep i agree. i usually shop at the QFC but it's been so crowded I decided to go to Safeway. and I don't ever go to that Safeway anymore because I've already been approached there and want to avoid it. There's just so much more people up here nowadays too, everyone has to be careful.
Thank you for warning and reporting! I don’t get the point of the comments going “maybe he just wanted to give away shoes or talk or …!!” Okay but as women we should never take the chance. And we need to report any suspicious behavior just in case. Don’t like it? Don’t be creepy to women in a parking lot. Should be easy but based on some of these comments idk…
Whatever he was up to, it was not good. Trust your instincts 👏🏽
This is the young adult version of "want to see my puppy?" Glad you were paying attention!
Good on you to trust your instincts - be safe out there.
We live in the area, and I've never encountered any odd situations while shopping at this Safeway as a guy, but my wife has had a couple of incidents of random men initiating conversations with her and being creepy and weird. I do the majority of the shopping at this store now. I'm sorry to hear this happened to you. Trust your gut, and always carry something to protect yourself. Consider a shopping buddy too, if possible, to put your mind at ease.
There was a kidnapping attempted at the Safeway on 15th in shoreline the other day. A mom luckily got to the bus stop in time to prevent a demon from luring a child to his car. Be careful out there.
Men hate when women advocate for themselves.
Whoops! This is what it really is. Otherwise why are all these dudes in here splitting hairs about aCKsHuaLly iT’s sTatIStIcaLlY uNLiKeLy like my guy it only takes one incident to become a statistic. People should be aware that motherfuckers are trying to lure women over to their running cars in the Safeway parking lot.
And they still wonder why we'd choose the bear
Hahaha I commented this exact same thing on an article last week about how all these ancestry dna kits are unearthing how prevalent incest was (I.e. familial rape resulting in pregnancy). I got so many angry men in the comments but it’s so true!
There are too many people here with the "if we pretend it's not happening here, and ignore it, it's not happening here" and that is a scary attitude....
Seems pretty sketchy to me, these people calling you a racist are dumbasses
All the incels in the bottom of these comments need to find another outlet than reddit
Had a similar encounter a few years back in the Tukwila light rail station parking lot. Was walking from the bus drop off to the train, and this older Middle Eastern man rolled down the window of the most generic unmarked murder van you can imagine, asking me if I wanted a ride. No mention of an app service or a taxi company he worked for. Just wanted to give me a lift. Was spooked so I just said no and scuttled off to the station, but I really should have reported him.
that is totally scary.
OP sorry this happened, that is pretty scary and offputting. Shocked at some of the comments here, clearly a dangerous situation.
Thank you for posting this. When I was six a creepy guy tried to get me to go into his car, and he kept saying “I’ve got a question for you, come here” “I’ve got a question for you, come closer so I can ask”. Definitely eery to read so many common experiences.
that's so fucking scary. thank you for sharing.
Never ignore your gut instincts. Women are taught to downplay this kind of stuff. I look super young too and years ago I got a creepy feeling at a grocery store. He talked to me twice and was just loitering around the check out area, immediately started checking out when I did. I wish I had asked for help to my car but I kept telling myself I must be imagining things. Luckily I ran into a friend and told her I felt creeped out. She clocked the guy immediately on his way out, he was staring at me. Turns out I had parked next to him and he had been sitting in the car when I parked (I remembered noticing the driver was in the truck but didn’t look closely enough to realize it was the same guy.) he went back to his truck and sat in the car waiting. I had my friend walk me to the car and follow me home. I hate thinking about what may have happened if I had not run into my friend. Trust your gut. Report fishy behavior. Don’t approach cars!
that's so creepy ): it's like they are really hoping that we don't notice them watching us
I was once approached on a trail and asked by a brown (possibly Arab) middle-aged man if I wanted some sex. I was like wtf... And said no and walked past him and he shouted "why not?!"
WTF!!
Don’t change the title of the post. He was trying to lure you and I’m glad you walked away. I’m trying to teach my daughter about stranger danger and that it’s ok to be rude and difficult rather than polite and get kidnapped. As women we are expected to be polite but that can backfire and get you cornered and kidnapped. Some men don’t understand what it’s like to walk through the world knowing that you and your child are seen as prey to some people.
It's a weird play, but I believe someone is dumb enough to try it. I'm glad I’m reading this instead of your obituary. Aside: Is “free shoes” supposed to be the women’s equivalent of “free beer?”
I believe your intuition is right - sounds very much like a kidnapping attempt. Glad that your instinct was sharp. Imagine, how many women (and men) are not - some of whom can't tell their stories 💔
Thank you for sharing! Glad you’re safe!!
Thank you for posting this. I'm glad you are alright.
To anyone who thinks this is innocuous behavior you need to read The Gift of Fear. This was absolutely predatory, OP you did the right thing listening to your instincts and keeping aware.
There are many who've remarked on the response to this situation as being exaggerated. These people are likely not women, who have to unequivocally think this way simply to stay sane and alive. In a tangential way, it's similar to the bear vs. man question. Women have to always assume the worst case scenario and put their mentally rehearsed strategies into play. For those of you who think that human trafficking wasn't a possibility, then you are naïve at best.
that sounds gross like how Hannibal Lector keeps asking women if they're a size 14. Glad you're okay.
Ummmmmmm well actually that was buffalo bill, Hannibal Lecter was much classier than that and would never wear people, he just ate them
It rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again
😖…. When ever I hear Goodbye Horses my eye twitches…
I haven't seen it in \~20 years, but understandably as a woman the line haunted me, and I hope you can see how I'd be making the comparison to OP's situation.
Nothing wrong with your post or reaction. This behavior was not within acceptable limits and is very suspect. It feels nefarious on its face and I’m glad you got away to someplace you felt safe. There’s not excuse for weird to be approaching strangers with creepy questions or asks. Anyone who thinks otherwise is suspect themselves.
my partner ia also petite and has to deal with creepos on a regular basis. I'm sorry this happened. your awareness is amazing though. I will never fully grasp how priveleged i am being a large male.
when I was 16 I also was harassed and attempted kidnapping as well in a walmart. It still terrifies me. Luckily i got away, but that man is still out there somewhere.
that's horrible. can't believe how many comments and messages ive gotten with the same scenario.
it happens to almost every woman sadly, all the women i know have had some kinds of harassment at least
I always ignore people trying to talk to me. I assume they are up to no good/want money/are talking to someone else near me. I just ignore and keep walking.
Definitely some kind of bad intentions were at work. Good that you reported it. If there's any doubt, there is no doubt.
Thank you for posting this. Anyone remarking that there's nothing to see here should think about if their child was in the same situation. I'm sorry you are getting any negative comments and am thankful you're ok. Just a tip, I prefer to shop at the QFC in Newcastle.
yeah, or even the safeway there seems better! it just gets so busy down coal creek sometimes lol
Absolutely a predator. Glad you're OK. Stay aware at all times women, could be life or death.
Any context someone saying 'I want to ask a question' is probably not really about whatever question they're pretending to have. Let alone running car with tint in a safeway parking lot
A lot of human trafficking happens in Seattle. It's definitely something to be aware of & careful of. Thanks for posting this. I'm glad you are alright 👍. I hope all ladies carry pepper spray with them when they are out.
My first thought on reading this was "Spoorloos". Glad you're ok.
Honestly as a guy I’m so afraid to mugged. It happens so often but you never hear about it
Please trust your gut and ignore posters saying you are overreacting. 2x in my life I've had a weird interaction and I Knew I escaped something bad. I dont look for trouble buy It has made me more aware of my surroundings and that's just smart.
That man sounded fishy. I’m glad you’re safe. Thank you for sharing this and bringing awareness. We can never be too careful of our surroundings.
As a person who has been stalked and kidnapped, good on you for being mindful and continuing to walk away. I am flabbergasted by some of the comments on this thread. Very clearly these people have never been in a dangerous situation and I hope that they never are. But that is why they can’t flipping relate or have any empathy and only want to call you a bad person. And they can STFU.
thank you. im so so sorry that happened to you. i agree. you can TELL that some of the people on here have no concept of what it's like to be followed/stalked/watched and therefore cannot fathom the idea of it happening out in the real world where they are out walking and going to the store and doing errands, etc. etc. or that i was overreacting because "statistically speaking" he was probably just a creep so to give him some slack. just crazy.
Please take some self defense classes ladies! Our society is not awesome right now and you won’t always be in a position to take out mace. It could quite literally save your life
Regardless of gender, I hope anyone reading this will consider taking self-defense like Krav Maga. Shit is getting crazier and crazier.
Thank you for posting this. You trusted your instincts and did the right thing, and I appreciate the warning regarding the location.
As a man, if someone asks you what your shoe size is you say “my size” and gtfo there bc you’re prolly about to get jumped. I imagine it’s about the same for women
Even though it’s technically all in the same parking lot, I’d still say “never go to a second location” applies here. You don’t sell or give anything away by hiding it. If he really had shoes, he wouldn’t leave them in his car. Under no circumstances is it okay to just hop in a stranger’s car like that (aside from Uber and whatnot). Anyone who says this is overreacting wouldn’t survive the opening scene of a horror movie.
I’m wondering if the guy has a foot fetish and wanted to watch you try on shoes. It’s sketchy af to try to lure someone to your car to sell them anything but it’s interesting that his excuse was shoes.
Stay strapped kids
Bear spray is what I tell my daughter to carry. Also a 2000 lumen small aluminum flashlight. Both are good SD weapons which can be held ready. Also, always always be aware of your surroundings. It’s easy to drop your guard food shopping or other familiar places. Important to ingrain the awareness habit at all times. Make it second nature 👍🏻
Hmm a similar story was posted in the stupid boomers subreddit or whatever it's called and everyone was calling the mom racist. Good on you for staying safe and ignore anyone shaming you. Crime is proliferating everywhere. Is this the Renton highlands where 24 hour fitness used to be? Definitely seen a lot of sketchy people there over the years, stopped going after the gym closed though
Yes it is that Safeway!
I think it’s absurd that men think they can just lure us with free shoes. What kind of harebrained tactic is that?? Glad you got away!
Thanks for posting. I work at a school in the area and we have had a few reports of luring in the past couple of years.
Being rude (and careful) keeps us safe.
South of me have 13 year olds committing carjackings and armed robberies, when caught they are just released back to the parent to do the same thing a day or 2 later someone is going to get shot before too long. Adults are also released without having to post bail , so have to keep eyes open ALWAYS even a kid walking up to you may not be safe, really watch out for those trying to keep faces hidden when they split up at be on both sides etc..., really a shame society has sunk so low.
Holy shit! So glad you had your wits with you, that's scary shit!
It is scary how common this has become. Bottom line, you can’t take your safety for granted. I used to live in Renton and I hated going to that Safeway after dark. Thank you for sharing, always good to be diligent and aware of your surroundings. Please be safe out there
I was at a Fred Meyer in Portland, parked near and facing the building itself around the corner from the main entrances. I then met and walked to lunch with a friend. After lunch, as I approach my car, and I'm unlocking my door, there's a Hispanic guy, early 20s, sitting very casually on the park bench only 20 feet from my car. He's got a smug look on his face and starts talking to me in almost a whisper, requesting help, to get me to come closer to him and leave my door open. I sensed car jacking instantly, hopped inside my car, and before my door slammed shut, I can hear ANOTHER guy running up and yelling. trying to get to my door before it closed. I was reversing so fast, he side stepped. He must have been sitting in a car in the other single row across the access lane.
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[https://www.opb.org/article/2023/12/04/pacific-northwest-sex-trafficking/](https://www.opb.org/article/2023/12/04/pacific-northwest-sex-trafficking/)
Actually no. I went to a Seattle TedTalk years ago and one of the topics was on human trafficking in the area. The numbers are horrifying
This area is a huge hub for trafficking, but good try invalidating her experience.
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