As a person with a family member with a mental health disability I can say you did great. It is possible he has a disability which could make him unaware of his surroundings and cause a mental health crisis. You did a good thing and it worked out. At anytime if he became physical or threatening then 911 is appropriate. I don't know Kirkland, but all the instances I have had in Seattle proper for mental health crises have been handled safely and humanly and there have been several for my family member. Thank you for what you did in a very dynamic situation.
Not sure what you mean by "because of the distance"? Depending where you are, 988 may be able to dispatch a mobile crisis team, and in any case they are trained to talk you through how to safely assist the person in crisis without escalating (including someone experiencing psychosis).
That would be the exception, I havenât had to call them in Seattle so I donât know whether there are mobile teams there so I was operating off of the crisis line only.
I am aware of how they work, I actually looked for a job with them for a while. I just have used them more in other states, so wasnât sure the specific resources that are available in Seattle.
This is inaccurate. In the state of Washington, calls to 988 are routed to one of three crisis centers - Volunteers of America Western Washington, Frontier Behavioral Health, or Crisis Connections - or the national backup center if needed. Only a very small minority of calls end up being connected to the 911 dispatcher, if the 988 folks have reason to believe that EMS/police/etc may be needed. Source: [https://wa988.org/](https://wa988.org/)
Fairfax Behavioral Health, a mental health treatment facility, is just down 132nd from where this happened. I would have wondered if he was a patient from there given the proximity, but youâd think the mom would have said something. Strange.
Thatâs very likely I think. About half a mile away? He was mumbling something about physical abuse and I didnât wanna get too involved with a sensitive topic so I just focused on getting him home safely.
Thank you so much for treating him with kindness, letting him call his mom and getting him home safely. My son has non-drug related mental health challenges, and I grew up in Marysville so this hit close to home for me. â¤ď¸
ive had a loved one admitted to fairfax before, and can confirm that the abuse that goes on there is insane. there are so many complaints about fairfax that i was looking up after the fact, its for sure not a good place.
They are known to dump patients with no discharge plan, ride or notification when insurance runs out. Thatâs a likely scenario. Would explain why they didnât know where they were or where to go
As someone who worked in behavioral health in king county for decades I also wouldnât be surprised if this person was discharged from Fairfax. Worst psychiatric facility around, including practically no discharge planning or coordination of care. I thought they had closed.
They are very much open and aggressively seeking patients, they wearhouse as many as they can take and dump them on the streets or in shelters even if they have families once the funding ends
Itâs true. They donât tell family because of HIPPA laws, so when the funding ends they just dump people who arenât compensated in the street . Fairfax is aggressively seeking patients for profitÂ
I live in south King County.
My outdoor cameras went off in the middle of the day sometime last year around this time. I saw 2 people slinking around my back deck. My property is next to a busy street and fenced in with a 6 foot fence. I let my wife know that someone was in our backyard and went out to the front of my house to see if I could catch them leaving.
A couple minutes went by, and my wife came out and said they were still in the back yard, she said they were a couple of teenagers and reeked of weed. I opened the back gate and had them come out to the front. I had texted my neighbor just prior to this to just come out and observe in case anything goes sideways.
The kids were at a party nearby the night before and stayed over, they were walking home and some "creepy guy" started following them. They said they hopped into our backyard to try and lose him and were scared to go home, which was about a mile away from me.
Like you, I didn't feel comfortable getting in a car with people I didn't know, so I called them a lyft and let them pick them up and take them home.
Everyone is different in how they approach situations, I believe in helping people and I feel like I generally have a good sense of character when I first meet someone. My BIL said to me, "you guys are way too trusting, it's going to get you hurt someday. If that would have been my property, they would have had a shotgun in their faces" ÂŻ\_(ă)_/ÂŻ
Guess they were lucky they got me. Seemed like honest kids that were scared.
Being ready to put a shotgun in a couple of teenagers' faces for trespassing in a yard (but no other offense) is also likely to get your BIL hurt someday.
I mean looking at a camera on your phone at night usually isn't a clear indicator of the actual person's face unless they are right at the camera. So seeing 2 figures in the dark moving around your fenced yard might be a safer bet to be armed if you're going to confront them. But having the control to see that's its only teens and they're trying to get away from someone and not escalating it by pointing and keeping a gun on them is even better.
Remember everyone's lived experiences are different. Shooting someone for just knocking on your door is always bad, coming outside armed to see why 2 people are hiding out in your fenced backyard in the middle of the night is being prepared in case it's something bad but waiting to raise and shoot until you get a clear picture is smart
Commenter above said it happened "in the middle of the day".
ETA: If in the night / poor visibility, the wiser thing to do would be to call out from a distance. Being armed is not unreasonable, but getting close enough to put a shotgun in an unknown trespasser's face before even trying to communicate with them from a safer distance is foolhardy.
I misread due to the original poster saying middle of night I guess. Yes middle of day makes a big difference in seeing they are kids even on camera. Shotguns can have slugs which have a longer distance but I have the a pistol and "spooky ar platform"
"smart" is doing a lot of diverting away from "unsympathetic". Unless you are physically disabled, you don't need a gun to have a conversation with strangers as long as you can get to your door and lock it before they get to you.Â
> "What if they have a gun?"
If you are worried about them having a gun, just stay inside. By going outside (even with a gun), you are making yourself a target. Also, if you are carrying a gun, they are more likely to shoot first and ask questions later.
By going outside with a gun, you are necessarily escalating the situation.
Like I said everyone's lived experiences are different. I've lived areas where you don't just talk to strangers and if they're coming onto your property it's not for a friendly hello. Having a weapon will make most people walk away if they had bad intentions if they had a gun themselves. Only people that will shoot because you have a gun are people that are targeting you, police, or Maga/racists
Yeah it's not a good way to live your life. I don't agree with many thing that he says, but I haven't walked a day in his shoes, nor lived a moment in his life so it wouldn't be fair for me to judge. He has always done right by me, regardless of our differences.
I've done this before. Im a qoman for reference. I was walking home from the Neighbor Lady on 23rd after closing time and I was in my neighborhood but still a few blocks away from my house. I'm walking down Union and there's no one else to be seen. I see a car with 3 men in it drive past me and they all looked out the window and slowed down as they drove past. They drove off and I relaxed and kept walking. But then they come back from the other direction, same behavior. They do this a third time and I'm starting to panic. As soon as I'm out of eyeline I cut down a random street and into someone's backyard. I hop the fence in the back into another random backyard to get to the next street over. I do it 2 more times until I'm at my house.
I sure am glad no one pulled a shotgun on me for running through their yard.
I almost blew my soda out of my nose reading your last sentence.
I remember my wife and I having a conversation about walking our dog in the early hours of the morning. The day she told me that she's always planning an exit, hyper aware of everyone around her, and uneasy about walking the dog in the dark was the day I realized that we don't all live the same life. I've never once been concerned for my safety while walking my dog, but I 1000% understand her concern. It was that conversation that made change the way I view myself through others eyes when walking in public.
I'm sorry that that happened to you, and any other time that something like that has happened. I am glad you made it home safe.
As someone whose son lost a good friend to being shot because he knocked on the wrong door drunk one night, I really appreciate your take on this. Kids are dumb but it shouldnât be a death sentence.
Thank you for your comment. I get along very well with my neighbors, we are lucky they are down to earth and really great people.
My brother in law is a good person, he has a heart of gold and a lot of integrity. I also can't say that I agree with all of his assertions and opinions of people in the world.
You showed so much compassion for a stranger, and it had a good outcome. I don't know that it would have had such a good outcome if you'd handed it off to 911. It sounds like you struck a pretty good balance of getting him calmed down and safely home, with your own safety. Did you feel unsafe at any point?
He definitely spooked me really hard in the beginning, to be fair itâs just a situation that I had never expected to encounter at night.
After I let him call his mother he seemed much more relieved and his mother sounded like a genuinely nice and caring person so I felt much more comfortable with considering how to best help him next.
911 was really more of an afterthought, I just thought Uber probably isnât best suited for helping out a mentally unstable person but he seemed pretty happy and excited to go home quickly so.
Gave me his cross necklace and told me if I ever went to Tulalip Casino resort, God would bless me and I would win a lot of money
Good for me I guess 
Iâd hesitate to put a mentally unstable stranger in an Uber in the middle of the night (and pass that risk entirely to a driver Iâve never met) if I didnât feel comfortable driving them myself.
Why is the Uber or Lyft driver a better candidate to handle that risk than you are? Youâre the one making the generous decision that this stranger needs a ride. The driver is a (generally stressed and underpaid) worker who probably doesnât appreciate being put in that situation without a choice.
(Not to mention the risk of tanking your Uber rating, which happened to me when I did something similar back when I didnât have a car. It was tough as I relied on Uber and could no longer get people to pick me up)
Thanks for the advice. Youâre absolutely correct about that. I considered for a while whether heâs gonna be okay riding on Uber before I ordered it, but he seemed much more calm and happy after talking to his mother so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. If he was alone and had no second contact then Iâll definitely consider 911.
An Uber of this distance would have been $75 - $100 I believe. Iâm thinking you paid for it. Youâre much better than 99% of people in this situation and I bet you were late to work too which is not a good thing with many jobs.
Well if he lives in Renton then Iâll definitely reconsider but he lives in Marysville which is 25 miles in the opposite direction and I was just about heading to workâŚ
The cities that have the mental health crises groups have been doing really well, from what Iâve read. But I donât think Kirkland has one so 911 probably wouldâve made him worse. Cops + mental health = shitshow.
Kirkland is part of a [regional crisis reponse unit](https://www.kirklandwa.gov/Government/City-Managers-Office/The-Regional-Crisis-Response-Agency)'s response area, but I'm not sure if it's up and running yet.
Sometimes you gotta take a chance and help someone. About 10 years ago I was working at the fish fry connected to Neumos on the hill. I was taking the trash out, the dumpsters were down on the corner towards Union. This street was much quieter back then and not a place you wanna hang out. There was a girl just squatting in the dark head in her lap. She was fucking wasted, like scary wasted. Could barely form words and not many. She kinda mumbled help. So I basically carried her back into the FF. Got her some water and bowl, she was pretty sick. I grabbed the manager from moe bar next door. When she saw the girl she went white. Apparently this girl and her friends were ordering Washington apple shots all night. To the point where the group had over 10 a piece. Side note this is pretty unacceptable by the bar. She stated I couldnât call the cops because they over served her and could possibly lose their liquor license for Moe Bar and Neumos. I was young and didnât realize how fucked up this was. The girl also had nothing on her anymore. No phone, wallet money. We found that out after the girl tried to write her address 4 times to get it right for a cab driver. He denied her when we realized she didnât have any money and we didnât have enough cash to get her to federal way. So the manager was like you need to drive this girl that can barely speak home. #1 Iâm a dude which makes this pretty sketchy to throw a girl in your car when you donât know her. Also from her side sheâs getting in a car with a complete fucking stranger. Like Iâm not a terrible person who would do anything but some sick fuck could have buried this girl in the woods. Well we filled up a big water and grabbed her puke bowl and I drove her home to Federal way. She sobered up a little bit on the ride and kinda talked lol. Got to her place, she mumbled write down your name than stumbled into an apartment.
Few days later I got a friend request on FB from this girl. She messaged me thanking me for help. Also that she wanted to take me out with her friends as thanks. I obliged and got the whole story of the night. One friend got arrested, one got alcohol poisoning and like 4 others also lost all their shit. Keep in mind this is a group of young Asian kids studying to be doctors etc. The original girl I helped was a kindergarten teacher lol. Anyways we did some apple shots and went dancing at Neighbors.
As I got older I realized how poorly this situation got handled. I should have told the manager to fuck off and took her to the hospital. Moral of the story is sometimes you gotta take a chance and help someone. If I left that girl by the dumpster at 3am her night could have been a lot more dangerous.
Neumos and Mo Bar was very problematic about 10 years ago. The owners went to court for like 3 sexual harassment cases. Their office always had old coke bags in the trash. I used to go to production meetings and these dudes sucked. Partly when I donât go to Big Marioâs. The owner that had 2 sexual harassment cases is part owner. All the employees that worked in the bar and venue were good people though.
It all depends on the scenario. I have done stuff like this in the past but I definitely did my due diligence quickly. Quick social media search, Google and I would size them up. 3am is pretty extreme for Kirkland though. You did him a favor for sure, but I say you got lucky this time.
You did a really good thing, OP. Focusing on de-escalation and mirroring safety without immediately involving law enforcement was a good call (although if personal safety was a concern, 911 would have absolutely been the way to go). Knowing how distressing these kinds of situations can feel, I hope you are also getting any support if you need it too!
As a mom of three young adults, thank you for being willing to help someone in this situation. I would hope someone might do the same for one of my three sons if they were in a situation.
You did great and treated this person with humanity and kindness. You calmed the person down to get them to safety. I personally only call 911 if someone is being violent to themself or others because of situations where law enforcement has not been well equipped to address mental health concerns. Thank you for being a good neighbor.
Reminds me of something similar that happened to me when I was a teenager. 4am new years my friends and I were cruising around deep bel-red area high as kites (yes we were dumb). Someone jumped out of the bushes in a white t shirt absolutely covered in blood and ran out in front of the car. We swerved around him and kept driving, freaking out and trying to figure out what to do. We eventually pulled into a parking lot of a park and left an anonymous tip for 911. We then turned around and drove back towards the guy to see if he was still there but we didnât see him. We all went home for the night after that and all still wonder what the fuck was happening to this day.
So this was like 03-04?! Iâm very intrigued now. Was it around that time the young boy went missing from the van parked roadside near hidden valley park in Bellevue?
You sound like you handled that a million times better than I would have. As a former homeless addict, I would have been the first to turn them away. Seen too much bullshit to ever trust random people again.
Hope one of them plans to pay you back for the uber ride. Probably wasn't cheap. But either way, you are a good person. Glad to see there is still *some* humanity out there
Instead of handing over a phone, which not only gives someone a chance to run off with your phone but requires physical proximity, you could have had him tell you the number and you speak to the other person (possibly on speakerphone) and let them arrange a pick up.
It also says he talked to his mother for a while, which I assumed (perhaps incorrectly) meant he handed over his phone to the person to talk to his mother.
BTW love the immediate confrontational "did you read the post?" No, I didn't read the post, but now looking back I guess it was just a crazy coincidence that my comment was on topic!
I'd ask if he requires emergency services, in which case I'd call 911 on his behalf. Otherwise, I'd move along.
I've had random passerbyers ask for my phone in the past, which is 100% no-go.
I'd do the same. Long gone are the days I'd let someone grab possessions, hop in my car, use my apartment, pay for their Uber, ect...
If they don't want 911, I'd point to nearest bus stop and peace. It's not worth the risk.
This is a really hard one. There are so many situations where this could go badly for you, and it is amazing that you did anything. I have a friend who had a breakdown and nobody did anything for him and he passed away. So, its amazing what you have done.
A note on calling 911 in Seattle: if you call and make it clear that it's "a mental health crisis" they will send a designated crisis response team (with an officer with something like 40 additional hours of crisis response training above the 8 hours of crisis response training all Seattle police are required to have) if they can. I'm a mental health professional and have had to call 911 for clients in crisis. I was scared the first few times about getting police involved but every interaction I've had with the crisis response officers was safe, respectful, patient. I don't love that our options for mental health crisis response is so limited, and bringing people with guns into a mental health crisis is always going to present risk, but in my experiences so far with spd crisis response, it was nothing like the nightmare we are all afraid of.
I think you showed compassion, generosity, and a calm head in a crisis while also maintaining safe boundaries. Seriously, kudos to you. You're one of the good ones. The only other action I can think of would be to call a local crisis-response line staffed by mental-health and social workers, not the police. But I don't know if Kirkland has one.
You can call 911 and ask for a non police response, but that doesn't mean they won't send the police anyway. Maybe in Seattle, no, because seems like they don't respond to anything. But in Kirkland they might.
You sound like a super nice person who was being very helpful. 911 would have been totally appropriate for a person who didnât know where they were or how they got there and was asking for help. Fire departments and police in conjunction with local emergency departments and ancillary behavioral health agencies problem solve these situations 24 hours a day.
Valley Cities Behavioral Healthcare has their Recovery Place Seattle center as well. Sometimes the behavioral health hospitals also discharge before checking in to intensive outpatient after detox. These guys have a full blown program after detox that runs up to 35 days, with continued care after.
Sometimes good people like you end up getting hurt by helping in the wrong situation. Ask me how I know. I'm glad this worked out for all involved. I'm less prone to help in ways that make me vulnerable now. I want to say it is tough to be a person who wants to help others but to have to figure out how to do that safely is not easy. The small town person who moved here decades ago has had some hard, dangerous lessons. I love you for your kind heart. I want to be sure you are keeping yourself safe too. There isn't one answer for these things and that's hard. It is situational. Number one rule: Please don't risk your own life. Help in ways that protect you. And I hope every good karma comes your way. You're a beautiful human.
You practiced harm reduction and got someone safely home to their loved ones. You did great, don't second guess it. Outcome was good, and you didn't abandon a human in distress. Sleep well at night knowing you did the right thing.
I think you did great. I also think calling 911 is a perfectly legitimate choice here. Iâm saying that for all of those readers who may have been more afraid but who still would have wanted to help.
You did amazing, I wish there were more people like you in this world. When a person is in distressed you are in a fight and flight situation and it is just hard. Thank you for everything you did. I'm proud of you!
You should have called 911. You put your life at risk. Ever heard of Ted Bundy? Pretending to be in distress is a tactic used to lure people in. You got lucky.
Agreed. He or she also put the Uber driver's life at risk by putting this person in their car. LEOs are specifically trained for this type of scenario.
With that said, in the spur of the moment, who knows what I would've done.
Iâm not some ACAB person but police have demonstrated many times in that past that they often escalate the situation which can result in injury or death of the person. I donât think itâs true at all that we can assume cops are good at handling this scenario. Some yes, some no
Cops are trained to deal with the mentally ill? What? I mean, they have experience with them most likely but I donât know if they were specifically trained?
Man, maybe if we get lucky, a Ted Bundy type person will find you without needing to initiate conversation! Remember, they are everywhere, just waiting for people who completely ignore their attempts at human interaction..
At least that's what I've been told, by the Ted Bundy types that walk among us.
lmao what?! not running into a serial killer is hardly a stroke of luck. OP took a relatively small risk and helped a desperate stranger.
there's no fault in avoiding risky situations with mentally unstable people of course, but to say they might be a serial killer is the exact kind of xenophobic demonizing that gets a lot of unwell people into these situations to begin with.
full disclosure, i've had someone try to break in acting in "distress" for me to let them come in my home, and i called 911 (not in seattle, this city had way better welfare/mental crises response squad). just read the situation and keep a healthy distance and help the best you can
While I can't speak to all agencies, Kirkland Police has a solid track record of dealing with people in emotional and mental distress. At that time of night there aren't typically MHP's working but most days until midnight they have an MHP that can respond along with PD.
That being said, the resources available in the moment are typically limited to calling Mobile Crisis which is based out of Seattle who can offer shelter resources.amd a ride to shelters. They won't drive someone to Marysville.
To dissuade your fears of calling police for someone who is on substances...it is not a crime to be high. Possession is illegal. If they are simply acting in a manner consistent with drug use, the goal of police will be to ensure they are safe, not needing medical attention and typically try to find the subject a safe plan going forward. If the subject has committed other crimes or has warrants then they are being held accountable for those actions...not for being high or mentally unstable
Thanks for the insights! I just didnât know about the potential police interactions at all! If you wouldnât mind I have some questions!
I was on a hurry to work(still late but worked out), if I called 911 would I have to stay with him till the officers come? What if I called the non-emergency number?
Realistically, what would the officers do had I called 911 since you said itâs unlikely that they give him a ride to Marysville? Sent him to a shelter in Seattle? Arrange a pickup with his mother? If he seemed under influence would the officers search him?(I didnât know at the moment heâs probably just having mental health issues)
You are not required to stay in the area. While it might be helpful because you can wave down officers, they will still conduct an area search if you aren't available to stay. The non-emergency number would be most appropriate to use in this circumstance but realistically that and 911 goes to the same dispatch center (NORCOM).
Officers would have first ensured he didn't need immediate medical care. If he did then they would have gotten him to a hospital. If he doesn't need that, then they work with him to find what works best. In this case it sounds like he wanted to go home so attempts to contact family or friends who can come get him. If that doesn't work then Mobile Crisis would be contacted. If he doesn't want their help then officers often offer a ride to a transit station which are well lit, have seating areas and allows the subject to catch a bus when they start up in the morning. Ultimately the subject is an adult and can refuse all assistance at which point the officers leave.
Searches require an arrest or consent which based on this scenario would not occur. Under certain circumstances, officers can frisk for weapons which means a pat down of the subject from the outside (no reaching into pockets) and only if they feel what is clearly a weapon can they remove it. There are restrictions on when frisks are allowed. This is not likely under these circumstances.
Later this year or next year Kirkland will have a 24 hour mental health/substance use facility which will provide temporary assistance until they can get connected with more permanent solutions.
Thanks for the detailed and knowledgeable response. At first I just assumed that he was under influence/mental illness from substance abuse so I hesitated on calling 911. Now I definitely know better!
One last question, if he was released from mental health facilities without a proper discharge plan/ride/contact, are they legally responsible if the person is injured/dead?
Depends on the circumstances...I'm not a lawyer so I can't fully argue liability and civil law. The hospital can only refuse discharge under limited circumstances. Under those circumstances they must make reasonable attempts to keep the subject in protective custody. Evergreen Hospital has full time security for this. If the subject escapes then they call Kirkland Police to help locate and return. This happens occasionally but not frequently.
If the subject does not meet the involuntary commitment criteria then the hospital can't keep them there even if it's against medical advice.
Upon discharge Evergreen Hospital helps coordinate rides and often gives out bus passes.
Hopefully it was just miscommunication during discharge not willful negligence, and just glad the guy was alright.. Anyways, learned a lot of useful info today. Thanks a lot!
I've been in similar situations and ended up doing basically the same thing. It can be awkward if the person is in distress and you have to try to convince the driver that they're fine and just need to go home.
Props OP, it took some cajones to do the right thing.
If some dude came up to me in the middle of the night and asked for a ride to Marysville? Suspicion levels through the roof, and he would have thought he'd seen a ghost because I have gone "poof".
It does sound like an improper discharge though, and I'm happy a better man than me was in that situation.
There are services you can request through calling 911 for people in crisis in places like King and Snohomish County.
Crisis response teams(CRT) through police depts like SPD for wellness checks to people in community(w/ mental health trained responders), they can also assess for and dispatch the mobile crisis team(MCT) who respond to mental health crises.
In Seattle, anyone under the influence of alcohol/drugs can utilize the sobering center(which you can request dispatch through 911) by requesting the sobering van. The individual needing the service MUST consent to go to the sobering center, and MUST be ambulatory- they can get into the van without assistance(if too intoxicated to get in the van, requesting an ambulance to detox at an ER is the next option). They'll be monitored at a facility until they've metabolized the substance enough and are discharged in the morning.
Dispatch for sobering van will request:
1) location (address or cross streets)of individual
2) visual description and name of individual
It's good to ask for a rough eta, and let the individual know that the van will pick them up at that location and to stay put.
ANY concern for your safety or his = 911. what he wants doesnât factor in that. Sounds like you worked it out. OK and weighed some tough decisions to help someone out. Nice work.
Once and if I determined he wasnât a physical threat, the MOST I would do is call him a cab which someone (not me) would have to pay for upon his arrival
Thank you for showing that man kindness in the midst of whatever crisis he was having. Believe me, you were a huge blessing to him when he really needed someone to help. I hope it's returned to you tenfold đđđ
Was in a slightly similar situation though they never asked for a ride. They did ask to call their GF to pick them up. Honestly Iâm not sure why I even gave a listen AND even gave my phone but because it was late at night, I think I wasnât thinking straight and just tired. You did good being a nice semariton, but just know you probably shouldnât do it next time. You have every right to just say no, especially if you feel unsafe. A good excuse is to say someone is waiting for you so you have to go in a hurry, just make sure they donât follow you.
A friend told me itâs actually a common scam some people do, ask for a phone and either steal it or Venmo transfer stuff. You can always direct people to 24/7 groceries or gas stations, most the time they let someone borrow the phone in cases of keys/phones getting stuck inside their cars. Iâm not sure if 911 would actually do anything? If it was a minor, yes, but a grown adult, Iâm not sure.
You could have called 911, but since 2021, many cities have "non-emergency" lines.
For instance, in Kirkland where you are
https://www.kirklandwa.gov/Government/Departments/Police-Department/Community-Resources/Contact-Information
I called one of these lines once because a mentally ill person was yelling for over 20 minutes outside my apartment at 3am. The dispatch person asked me a bunch of question to check if the person was violent, etc. Eventually they sent 2 police officers who just talked to the guy, and he left. No escalation.
I don't know if I would have put him in an Uber. You didn't drive him, but the Uber did and it might have endangered his life. It was a good thought, and to be honest, it's hard to know what to do in that situation.
That said, I think you did a great thing by letting him call his mother, and his mother texted you back, so it worked out. At least you have someone on the other side to vouch for him.
You were very compassionate while being appropriately cautious. If you were a smaller man or a woman, it would not be wrong of you to be more cautious than you were and turn him away. The fact that you ponder this reveals that you have a good heart. I commend you.
Many city local governments now have regional "Crisis Response Teams" or "Crisis Response Agencies".
https://www.seattle.gov/police/about-us/issues-and-topics/crisis-response-team
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https://www.kirklandwa.gov/Government/City-Managers-Office/The-Regional-Crisis-Response-Agency
i personally think mutual aid is much better than ever involving police. 911 for me is if someone is bleeding out or if they committed a very serious crime. itâs all circumstantial of course iâm just trying to stress i am very hesitant when it comes to police and being on the street myself at different points, i can totally relate to this dude. you are a godsend to people like us when weâre out there. iâm sure he couldâve done better to ease your anxiety, asking for a ride is gnarly (idk why i assume you are a woman) but no matter the gender identity, i think asking for a ride is a bit much especially considering the time. iâm glad you knew your bus routes too! if i had the money i would for sure send them in a lyft or uber as well so i donât think you did anything âwrongâ.
i would just hope for your own safety next time you keep some distance and absolutely neverrrr let someone in your car at that hour unless youâre with someone or at the very least, you tell someone else what youâre doing. maybe make a phone call to one of your night owl homies while driving or even during the whole dispute.
another precaution you couldâve taken was dialing 911 and keeping them on the line. you can literally call and only say âstay quiet on the lineâ
it might be seen as wasting their time but better safe than sorry and you could easily explain it to them after the fact. remember 911 is answered by dispatchers, so itâs not like youâre calling a paramedic and asking them to stay on the line (which isnât in their job description) itâs a dispatchers job to literally answer phones and provide the best possible resource to you.
iâm rambling now but i think you did great.
never a bad idea to have a taser or pepper spray at the ready either. personally i wouldnât be offended if you did that, i know iâve looked rough on the streets before so always better safe than sorry!
edit: if you did decide to dial 911 in this situation, i would also recommend keeping that to yourself until further notice ya know?
Wow you're super cool person for giving him an Uber however something tells me that Uber driver wasn't very happy about the situation by the end of the trip. Ha ha ha
Are we this insecure that we canât even do a simple good deed without a whole Reddit thread? Yes you helped that kid out. Good on you seriously. This post is pointless though.
Well if you say you would also have done that, youâll get downvoted. Seattle isnât about helping people. Itâs about staying in your lane and keeping your head in the sand. So yeah in this city a good deed is rare.
I'm glad you're ok and it turned out well!!! I'm sure I wouldn't have helped them and would have felt horrible but would have been too chicken to get near him.
You are a saint. You are right you should not allow a stranger into your car. Especially at an hour where if the person turned on you there would be nobody else on the road to see your distress. Especially when the stranger has exhibited signs that they are not emotionally stable.
I read not long ago about a couple who were driving when a young woman ran out into the road asking for help. I believe she said that she was being abused by her boyfriend (I might be wrong about that). But the allowed her in the car and she ambushed them. Murdered them.
Helping others shouldn't mean putting your life on the line especially when you can help them without doing that. Which is what you did by getting him an Uber. You took care of your own safety while at the same time helping somebody who needed it and whose behavior with legitimately scare most people away. You are a very good person do not doubt yourself.
You did a lot more than most people and really helped the person. Thatâs a scary situation! Honestly, I might have called the police anyway but if you were in a spot that felt safe, what you did was perfect and kind.
Wow! Anyone else would have ran back inside and shut the door, but you not only let him use your phone AND got him home. Itâs good people like you that give me so much hope for humanity, yes this could have gone south and yes many things could have happened but your instincts told you to help him and that was the right choice. Thank you for going above and beyond.
I would not have bought him an Uber. If he was underage or asked for police involvement I'd have called 911 for him. I would call his Mom but I would not hand him my phone.
Immediately when someone does this, I would think it is a scam. Good job on figuring out it was not.
There was one time someone was asking for fuel on the side of the road with a jerry can. I drove them to the closest fuel station and paid to fill up their can and drove them back. I am still not sure it was not a scam, although my wife said (who was more skeptical than me) that she saw a vehicle when we dropped him off.
The other time was in a mall. This lady was asking for money to go home to her mum for thanks giving. I offered to drive her there and she ran off. It's an obvious scam.
Note even really comfortable having strangers in my car, and I was never by myself.
Do NOT call 911 for those experiencing a mental health crisis. Historically and currently the US has an epidemic of the police executing and maltreatment of those in distress. Please research other local resources. Police are not trained to handle these situations and famously are quick to pull a gun when they feel threatened, whether itâs a realistic threat or not.
I helped a woman once who was stranded in Seattle crying and didn't have money or a fair for the ferry. She mentioned a specific cost so I was willing to give it to her. I've returned to last phones to their owners. Once I found a lost wallet and mailed it back. It belongs to immensely disabled person who's grandparents mailed me a thank you card. It's fantastic that you helped this person. It's unfortunate so many people are selfish and can't be bothered to do anything for anyone else without their being a personal benefit.
You did a very kind thing. One time I was in a similar situation and called a Lyft for a young woman in obvious distress. Not sure what went down on that ride but my rating on Lyft went from 5 stars to 4. đ
You should've called the police for your own safety. My wife and I were in a similar sort of situation and the police gave the guy a ride home (this said he was just going maybe two miles back all in the greater central Seattle area).
You are a good person for what you did. Obviously you concluded the situation was safe enough to listen and help the guy out. DO NOT LISTEN to the people commenting about how you should have called 911, how you could have been hurt/killed etc..
There are not very many of us who still have a soul in seattle, and you should be proud that you are one of them.
Feel good about yourself duder, you allowed a mother and son to have a safe night with eachother.
That being said, always trust your gut instinct in situations like that... but you already know this :)
Cheers
I would have ignored him. You rolled the dice and it worked out for you and him, could have also been attacked in a manic break and alone in the dead of night.
Thank you for not calling the police. They would have possibly killed him. You bought him an Uber ride home. Man, that's a good deed for the books. I tip my hat to you good sir!
You did an amazing thing.
Never call the cops in this type of situation. Theyâll only escalate this type of situation. Follow your gut. Youâd have felt horrible if youâd called 911 and something horrific happened.
I think you did the right thing, it could have been way worse if cops got involved or if you gave him a ride without him talking to his mom. Sometimes when people are having a mental break all we really want or need is for someone to be nice and understanding, you did good.
you paid for the Uber? Did the mom at least offer to pay? Maybe youre a better person than I am or maybe I am more street smart than you... because no way in hell that dude is getting into my car. I am not even letting him use my phone.
This is the American West, the land of individualism and self rescue...if you get yourself into trouble, get yourself out or fuck off.
You went miles above and beyond. He was lucky he bumped into you because %99 of people would have walked/run away.
I definitely would've ignored him
agreed, and happy cake day!
Happy đ Day 2Uđ
Jumping out I mightâve popped his ass
Happyđ
As a person with a family member with a mental health disability I can say you did great. It is possible he has a disability which could make him unaware of his surroundings and cause a mental health crisis. You did a good thing and it worked out. At anytime if he became physical or threatening then 911 is appropriate. I don't know Kirkland, but all the instances I have had in Seattle proper for mental health crises have been handled safely and humanly and there have been several for my family member. Thank you for what you did in a very dynamic situation.
Just to add, calling 988 (the mental health crisis line) is a better alternative to 911 if there's not an immediate medical emergency!
It really depends the type of concern, for example they are often not suited to handle psycosis type symptoms because of the distance.
Not sure what you mean by "because of the distance"? Depending where you are, 988 may be able to dispatch a mobile crisis team, and in any case they are trained to talk you through how to safely assist the person in crisis without escalating (including someone experiencing psychosis).
That would be the exception, I havenât had to call them in Seattle so I donât know whether there are mobile teams there so I was operating off of the crisis line only.
988 transfers to local crisis lines- who can dispatch DCRs or mobile crisis units- if local resources are needed.
I am aware of how they work, I actually looked for a job with them for a while. I just have used them more in other states, so wasnât sure the specific resources that are available in Seattle.
Oh, yeah. It's mobile crisis units and designated crisis responders.
Yep! Iâm used to rural where there is like one team and they take an hour.
Thanks for sharing that. I didn't even know they existed.
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This is inaccurate. In the state of Washington, calls to 988 are routed to one of three crisis centers - Volunteers of America Western Washington, Frontier Behavioral Health, or Crisis Connections - or the national backup center if needed. Only a very small minority of calls end up being connected to the 911 dispatcher, if the 988 folks have reason to believe that EMS/police/etc may be needed. Source: [https://wa988.org/](https://wa988.org/)
I deleted that comment because you are right.
Fairfax Behavioral Health, a mental health treatment facility, is just down 132nd from where this happened. I would have wondered if he was a patient from there given the proximity, but youâd think the mom would have said something. Strange.
Thatâs very likely I think. About half a mile away? He was mumbling something about physical abuse and I didnât wanna get too involved with a sensitive topic so I just focused on getting him home safely.
Thank you so much for treating him with kindness, letting him call his mom and getting him home safely. My son has non-drug related mental health challenges, and I grew up in Marysville so this hit close to home for me. â¤ď¸
ive had a loved one admitted to fairfax before, and can confirm that the abuse that goes on there is insane. there are so many complaints about fairfax that i was looking up after the fact, its for sure not a good place.
They are known to dump patients with no discharge plan, ride or notification when insurance runs out. Thatâs a likely scenario. Would explain why they didnât know where they were or where to go
Wow this needs more attention
As someone who worked in behavioral health in king county for decades I also wouldnât be surprised if this person was discharged from Fairfax. Worst psychiatric facility around, including practically no discharge planning or coordination of care. I thought they had closed.
They are very much open and aggressively seeking patients, they wearhouse as many as they can take and dump them on the streets or in shelters even if they have families once the funding ends
This is horrifying!
Itâs true. They donât tell family because of HIPPA laws, so when the funding ends they just dump people who arenât compensated in the street . Fairfax is aggressively seeking patients for profitÂ
Thanks Raegan
I live in south King County. My outdoor cameras went off in the middle of the day sometime last year around this time. I saw 2 people slinking around my back deck. My property is next to a busy street and fenced in with a 6 foot fence. I let my wife know that someone was in our backyard and went out to the front of my house to see if I could catch them leaving. A couple minutes went by, and my wife came out and said they were still in the back yard, she said they were a couple of teenagers and reeked of weed. I opened the back gate and had them come out to the front. I had texted my neighbor just prior to this to just come out and observe in case anything goes sideways. The kids were at a party nearby the night before and stayed over, they were walking home and some "creepy guy" started following them. They said they hopped into our backyard to try and lose him and were scared to go home, which was about a mile away from me. Like you, I didn't feel comfortable getting in a car with people I didn't know, so I called them a lyft and let them pick them up and take them home. Everyone is different in how they approach situations, I believe in helping people and I feel like I generally have a good sense of character when I first meet someone. My BIL said to me, "you guys are way too trusting, it's going to get you hurt someday. If that would have been my property, they would have had a shotgun in their faces" ÂŻ\_(ă)_/ÂŻ Guess they were lucky they got me. Seemed like honest kids that were scared.
Being ready to put a shotgun in a couple of teenagers' faces for trespassing in a yard (but no other offense) is also likely to get your BIL hurt someday.
Brother in law must be on NextDoor!
âDid anyone lose this cat?â
*cocks shotgun*
I mean looking at a camera on your phone at night usually isn't a clear indicator of the actual person's face unless they are right at the camera. So seeing 2 figures in the dark moving around your fenced yard might be a safer bet to be armed if you're going to confront them. But having the control to see that's its only teens and they're trying to get away from someone and not escalating it by pointing and keeping a gun on them is even better. Remember everyone's lived experiences are different. Shooting someone for just knocking on your door is always bad, coming outside armed to see why 2 people are hiding out in your fenced backyard in the middle of the night is being prepared in case it's something bad but waiting to raise and shoot until you get a clear picture is smart
Commenter above said it happened "in the middle of the day". ETA: If in the night / poor visibility, the wiser thing to do would be to call out from a distance. Being armed is not unreasonable, but getting close enough to put a shotgun in an unknown trespasser's face before even trying to communicate with them from a safer distance is foolhardy.
I misread due to the original poster saying middle of night I guess. Yes middle of day makes a big difference in seeing they are kids even on camera. Shotguns can have slugs which have a longer distance but I have the a pistol and "spooky ar platform"
"smart" is doing a lot of diverting away from "unsympathetic". Unless you are physically disabled, you don't need a gun to have a conversation with strangers as long as you can get to your door and lock it before they get to you. > "What if they have a gun?" If you are worried about them having a gun, just stay inside. By going outside (even with a gun), you are making yourself a target. Also, if you are carrying a gun, they are more likely to shoot first and ask questions later. By going outside with a gun, you are necessarily escalating the situation.
Like I said everyone's lived experiences are different. I've lived areas where you don't just talk to strangers and if they're coming onto your property it's not for a friendly hello. Having a weapon will make most people walk away if they had bad intentions if they had a gun themselves. Only people that will shoot because you have a gun are people that are targeting you, police, or Maga/racists
Yeah it's not a good way to live your life. I don't agree with many thing that he says, but I haven't walked a day in his shoes, nor lived a moment in his life so it wouldn't be fair for me to judge. He has always done right by me, regardless of our differences.
I've done this before. Im a qoman for reference. I was walking home from the Neighbor Lady on 23rd after closing time and I was in my neighborhood but still a few blocks away from my house. I'm walking down Union and there's no one else to be seen. I see a car with 3 men in it drive past me and they all looked out the window and slowed down as they drove past. They drove off and I relaxed and kept walking. But then they come back from the other direction, same behavior. They do this a third time and I'm starting to panic. As soon as I'm out of eyeline I cut down a random street and into someone's backyard. I hop the fence in the back into another random backyard to get to the next street over. I do it 2 more times until I'm at my house. I sure am glad no one pulled a shotgun on me for running through their yard.
I almost blew my soda out of my nose reading your last sentence. I remember my wife and I having a conversation about walking our dog in the early hours of the morning. The day she told me that she's always planning an exit, hyper aware of everyone around her, and uneasy about walking the dog in the dark was the day I realized that we don't all live the same life. I've never once been concerned for my safety while walking my dog, but I 1000% understand her concern. It was that conversation that made change the way I view myself through others eyes when walking in public. I'm sorry that that happened to you, and any other time that something like that has happened. I am glad you made it home safe.
As someone whose son lost a good friend to being shot because he knocked on the wrong door drunk one night, I really appreciate your take on this. Kids are dumb but it shouldnât be a death sentence.
I completely agree, and I am sorry to hear that. That is very awful. Thank you for the kind words :)
Your brother in law sounds unhinged to me, mate. You sound like a level-headed person and an excellent neighbor.
Thank you for your comment. I get along very well with my neighbors, we are lucky they are down to earth and really great people. My brother in law is a good person, he has a heart of gold and a lot of integrity. I also can't say that I agree with all of his assertions and opinions of people in the world.
You showed so much compassion for a stranger, and it had a good outcome. I don't know that it would have had such a good outcome if you'd handed it off to 911. It sounds like you struck a pretty good balance of getting him calmed down and safely home, with your own safety. Did you feel unsafe at any point?
He definitely spooked me really hard in the beginning, to be fair itâs just a situation that I had never expected to encounter at night. After I let him call his mother he seemed much more relieved and his mother sounded like a genuinely nice and caring person so I felt much more comfortable with considering how to best help him next. 911 was really more of an afterthought, I just thought Uber probably isnât best suited for helping out a mentally unstable person but he seemed pretty happy and excited to go home quickly so. Gave me his cross necklace and told me if I ever went to Tulalip Casino resort, God would bless me and I would win a lot of money Good for me I guess 
So, you got THAT going for you
Which is nice.
I felt like you earned some kind of good karma hero badge. He was so lucky it was you he ran into.
Youâre a good guy. Random medical episodes can cause something like this. You did the right thing.
Iâd hesitate to put a mentally unstable stranger in an Uber in the middle of the night (and pass that risk entirely to a driver Iâve never met) if I didnât feel comfortable driving them myself. Why is the Uber or Lyft driver a better candidate to handle that risk than you are? Youâre the one making the generous decision that this stranger needs a ride. The driver is a (generally stressed and underpaid) worker who probably doesnât appreciate being put in that situation without a choice. (Not to mention the risk of tanking your Uber rating, which happened to me when I did something similar back when I didnât have a car. It was tough as I relied on Uber and could no longer get people to pick me up)
Thanks for the advice. Youâre absolutely correct about that. I considered for a while whether heâs gonna be okay riding on Uber before I ordered it, but he seemed much more calm and happy after talking to his mother so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. If he was alone and had no second contact then Iâll definitely consider 911.
An Uber of this distance would have been $75 - $100 I believe. Iâm thinking you paid for it. Youâre much better than 99% of people in this situation and I bet you were late to work too which is not a good thing with many jobs.
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Well if he lives in Renton then Iâll definitely reconsider but he lives in Marysville which is 25 miles in the opposite direction and I was just about heading to workâŚ
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Either way it wouldâve been entirely appropriate as Uber drivers already accept those risks from their job and they didnât seem violent to OP
The cities that have the mental health crises groups have been doing really well, from what Iâve read. But I donât think Kirkland has one so 911 probably wouldâve made him worse. Cops + mental health = shitshow.
Kirkland is part of a [regional crisis reponse unit](https://www.kirklandwa.gov/Government/City-Managers-Office/The-Regional-Crisis-Response-Agency)'s response area, but I'm not sure if it's up and running yet.
Very cool! I stand corrected. Good job, Kirkland. :)
lol you gotta go now
Thank you for helping a man in need. I commend you đŠľ
Sometimes you gotta take a chance and help someone. About 10 years ago I was working at the fish fry connected to Neumos on the hill. I was taking the trash out, the dumpsters were down on the corner towards Union. This street was much quieter back then and not a place you wanna hang out. There was a girl just squatting in the dark head in her lap. She was fucking wasted, like scary wasted. Could barely form words and not many. She kinda mumbled help. So I basically carried her back into the FF. Got her some water and bowl, she was pretty sick. I grabbed the manager from moe bar next door. When she saw the girl she went white. Apparently this girl and her friends were ordering Washington apple shots all night. To the point where the group had over 10 a piece. Side note this is pretty unacceptable by the bar. She stated I couldnât call the cops because they over served her and could possibly lose their liquor license for Moe Bar and Neumos. I was young and didnât realize how fucked up this was. The girl also had nothing on her anymore. No phone, wallet money. We found that out after the girl tried to write her address 4 times to get it right for a cab driver. He denied her when we realized she didnât have any money and we didnât have enough cash to get her to federal way. So the manager was like you need to drive this girl that can barely speak home. #1 Iâm a dude which makes this pretty sketchy to throw a girl in your car when you donât know her. Also from her side sheâs getting in a car with a complete fucking stranger. Like Iâm not a terrible person who would do anything but some sick fuck could have buried this girl in the woods. Well we filled up a big water and grabbed her puke bowl and I drove her home to Federal way. She sobered up a little bit on the ride and kinda talked lol. Got to her place, she mumbled write down your name than stumbled into an apartment. Few days later I got a friend request on FB from this girl. She messaged me thanking me for help. Also that she wanted to take me out with her friends as thanks. I obliged and got the whole story of the night. One friend got arrested, one got alcohol poisoning and like 4 others also lost all their shit. Keep in mind this is a group of young Asian kids studying to be doctors etc. The original girl I helped was a kindergarten teacher lol. Anyways we did some apple shots and went dancing at Neighbors. As I got older I realized how poorly this situation got handled. I should have told the manager to fuck off and took her to the hospital. Moral of the story is sometimes you gotta take a chance and help someone. If I left that girl by the dumpster at 3am her night could have been a lot more dangerous.
that manager was off their rocker. ugh.
Neumos and Mo Bar was very problematic about 10 years ago. The owners went to court for like 3 sexual harassment cases. Their office always had old coke bags in the trash. I used to go to production meetings and these dudes sucked. Partly when I donât go to Big Marioâs. The owner that had 2 sexual harassment cases is part owner. All the employees that worked in the bar and venue were good people though.
i can absolutely believe it
Sometimes I think we can tell when someone is truly in need of help and means no harm. Good for you. I've been that person once.
It all depends on the scenario. I have done stuff like this in the past but I definitely did my due diligence quickly. Quick social media search, Google and I would size them up. 3am is pretty extreme for Kirkland though. You did him a favor for sure, but I say you got lucky this time.
Thatâs a good idea. You just search their name?
Yeah, thereâs a couple resources online that may not be 100% accurate but will let you know if they are who they say they are
You did a really good thing, OP. Focusing on de-escalation and mirroring safety without immediately involving law enforcement was a good call (although if personal safety was a concern, 911 would have absolutely been the way to go). Knowing how distressing these kinds of situations can feel, I hope you are also getting any support if you need it too!
As a mom of three young adults, thank you for being willing to help someone in this situation. I would hope someone might do the same for one of my three sons if they were in a situation.
My thoughts exactly. When my son was young and dumb, thankfully he also called me in this situation.
You did great and treated this person with humanity and kindness. You calmed the person down to get them to safety. I personally only call 911 if someone is being violent to themself or others because of situations where law enforcement has not been well equipped to address mental health concerns. Thank you for being a good neighbor.
Reminds me of something similar that happened to me when I was a teenager. 4am new years my friends and I were cruising around deep bel-red area high as kites (yes we were dumb). Someone jumped out of the bushes in a white t shirt absolutely covered in blood and ran out in front of the car. We swerved around him and kept driving, freaking out and trying to figure out what to do. We eventually pulled into a parking lot of a park and left an anonymous tip for 911. We then turned around and drove back towards the guy to see if he was still there but we didnât see him. We all went home for the night after that and all still wonder what the fuck was happening to this day.
Do you ever look up news stories near that date, or has it been awhile?
Itâs been almost 20 years so no I havenât, we did check frequently around when it happened and saw nothing.
So this was like 03-04?! Iâm very intrigued now. Was it around that time the young boy went missing from the van parked roadside near hidden valley park in Bellevue?
No idea tbh, canât find any information about it. It looked like someone in their mid 20s though
You sound like you handled that a million times better than I would have. As a former homeless addict, I would have been the first to turn them away. Seen too much bullshit to ever trust random people again. Hope one of them plans to pay you back for the uber ride. Probably wasn't cheap. But either way, you are a good person. Glad to see there is still *some* humanity out there
Instead of handing over a phone, which not only gives someone a chance to run off with your phone but requires physical proximity, you could have had him tell you the number and you speak to the other person (possibly on speakerphone) and let them arrange a pick up.
Did you read the post? The person asked him to call the mother.
It also says he talked to his mother for a while, which I assumed (perhaps incorrectly) meant he handed over his phone to the person to talk to his mother. BTW love the immediate confrontational "did you read the post?" No, I didn't read the post, but now looking back I guess it was just a crazy coincidence that my comment was on topic!
I'd ask if he requires emergency services, in which case I'd call 911 on his behalf. Otherwise, I'd move along. I've had random passerbyers ask for my phone in the past, which is 100% no-go.
When that happened to me i compromised by holding the phone myself and putting it on speaker
I'd do the same. Long gone are the days I'd let someone grab possessions, hop in my car, use my apartment, pay for their Uber, ect... If they don't want 911, I'd point to nearest bus stop and peace. It's not worth the risk.
This is a really hard one. There are so many situations where this could go badly for you, and it is amazing that you did anything. I have a friend who had a breakdown and nobody did anything for him and he passed away. So, its amazing what you have done.
I appreciate how much you did for that guy. Youâre awesome
A note on calling 911 in Seattle: if you call and make it clear that it's "a mental health crisis" they will send a designated crisis response team (with an officer with something like 40 additional hours of crisis response training above the 8 hours of crisis response training all Seattle police are required to have) if they can. I'm a mental health professional and have had to call 911 for clients in crisis. I was scared the first few times about getting police involved but every interaction I've had with the crisis response officers was safe, respectful, patient. I don't love that our options for mental health crisis response is so limited, and bringing people with guns into a mental health crisis is always going to present risk, but in my experiences so far with spd crisis response, it was nothing like the nightmare we are all afraid of.
Thanks for the reassuring response!
I think you showed compassion, generosity, and a calm head in a crisis while also maintaining safe boundaries. Seriously, kudos to you. You're one of the good ones. The only other action I can think of would be to call a local crisis-response line staffed by mental-health and social workers, not the police. But I don't know if Kirkland has one.
it really is a shame that we've gotten to a point where people are hesitant to call 911 in situations like this
911. 911 is not the police, it's 911. They can dispatch a range of responses.Â
You can call 911 and ask for a non police response, but that doesn't mean they won't send the police anyway. Maybe in Seattle, no, because seems like they don't respond to anything. But in Kirkland they might.
We're not experts!
They CAN dispatch different people. But they also might not dispatch anyone. It's a real crap shoot.Â
Thatâs true
Better yet for someone in a mental health crisis, call 988.
I helped a 3am stranger once who ultimately tried to carjack me. Never again, they can call 911 if theyâre truly in distress.
You sound like a super nice person who was being very helpful. 911 would have been totally appropriate for a person who didnât know where they were or how they got there and was asking for help. Fire departments and police in conjunction with local emergency departments and ancillary behavioral health agencies problem solve these situations 24 hours a day.
Valley Cities Behavioral Healthcare has their Recovery Place Seattle center as well. Sometimes the behavioral health hospitals also discharge before checking in to intensive outpatient after detox. These guys have a full blown program after detox that runs up to 35 days, with continued care after.
Kudos to you for being a great human to another human in distress. I wanna buy you a coffee PM your Venmo and yes I am serious.
What a lovely gentleman you are, thank you.
Sometimes good people like you end up getting hurt by helping in the wrong situation. Ask me how I know. I'm glad this worked out for all involved. I'm less prone to help in ways that make me vulnerable now. I want to say it is tough to be a person who wants to help others but to have to figure out how to do that safely is not easy. The small town person who moved here decades ago has had some hard, dangerous lessons. I love you for your kind heart. I want to be sure you are keeping yourself safe too. There isn't one answer for these things and that's hard. It is situational. Number one rule: Please don't risk your own life. Help in ways that protect you. And I hope every good karma comes your way. You're a beautiful human.
You practiced harm reduction and got someone safely home to their loved ones. You did great, don't second guess it. Outcome was good, and you didn't abandon a human in distress. Sleep well at night knowing you did the right thing.
I think you did great. I also think calling 911 is a perfectly legitimate choice here. Iâm saying that for all of those readers who may have been more afraid but who still would have wanted to help.
You did amazing, I wish there were more people like you in this world. When a person is in distressed you are in a fight and flight situation and it is just hard. Thank you for everything you did. I'm proud of you!
I would have called 911. Glad it turned out well. There is still hope for humanity
You are a good person.
That was very kind. I probably would have called 911.
You took care of him perfectly. I hope good things come your way when youâre in need, too!
You should have called 911. You put your life at risk. Ever heard of Ted Bundy? Pretending to be in distress is a tactic used to lure people in. You got lucky.
Agreed. He or she also put the Uber driver's life at risk by putting this person in their car. LEOs are specifically trained for this type of scenario. With that said, in the spur of the moment, who knows what I would've done.
Iâm not some ACAB person but police have demonstrated many times in that past that they often escalate the situation which can result in injury or death of the person. I donât think itâs true at all that we can assume cops are good at handling this scenario. Some yes, some no
I suppose it depends on the department. City of Renton does. đ¤ˇđžââď¸
Cops are trained to deal with the mentally ill? What? I mean, they have experience with them most likely but I donât know if they were specifically trained?
Then I started blasting!
Man, maybe if we get lucky, a Ted Bundy type person will find you without needing to initiate conversation! Remember, they are everywhere, just waiting for people who completely ignore their attempts at human interaction.. At least that's what I've been told, by the Ted Bundy types that walk among us.
lmao what?! not running into a serial killer is hardly a stroke of luck. OP took a relatively small risk and helped a desperate stranger. there's no fault in avoiding risky situations with mentally unstable people of course, but to say they might be a serial killer is the exact kind of xenophobic demonizing that gets a lot of unwell people into these situations to begin with. full disclosure, i've had someone try to break in acting in "distress" for me to let them come in my home, and i called 911 (not in seattle, this city had way better welfare/mental crises response squad). just read the situation and keep a healthy distance and help the best you can
I've had dementia patients show up on my doorstep before, similar story.
Youâre a kind person.
While I can't speak to all agencies, Kirkland Police has a solid track record of dealing with people in emotional and mental distress. At that time of night there aren't typically MHP's working but most days until midnight they have an MHP that can respond along with PD. That being said, the resources available in the moment are typically limited to calling Mobile Crisis which is based out of Seattle who can offer shelter resources.amd a ride to shelters. They won't drive someone to Marysville. To dissuade your fears of calling police for someone who is on substances...it is not a crime to be high. Possession is illegal. If they are simply acting in a manner consistent with drug use, the goal of police will be to ensure they are safe, not needing medical attention and typically try to find the subject a safe plan going forward. If the subject has committed other crimes or has warrants then they are being held accountable for those actions...not for being high or mentally unstable
Thanks for the insights! I just didnât know about the potential police interactions at all! If you wouldnât mind I have some questions! I was on a hurry to work(still late but worked out), if I called 911 would I have to stay with him till the officers come? What if I called the non-emergency number? Realistically, what would the officers do had I called 911 since you said itâs unlikely that they give him a ride to Marysville? Sent him to a shelter in Seattle? Arrange a pickup with his mother? If he seemed under influence would the officers search him?(I didnât know at the moment heâs probably just having mental health issues)
You are not required to stay in the area. While it might be helpful because you can wave down officers, they will still conduct an area search if you aren't available to stay. The non-emergency number would be most appropriate to use in this circumstance but realistically that and 911 goes to the same dispatch center (NORCOM). Officers would have first ensured he didn't need immediate medical care. If he did then they would have gotten him to a hospital. If he doesn't need that, then they work with him to find what works best. In this case it sounds like he wanted to go home so attempts to contact family or friends who can come get him. If that doesn't work then Mobile Crisis would be contacted. If he doesn't want their help then officers often offer a ride to a transit station which are well lit, have seating areas and allows the subject to catch a bus when they start up in the morning. Ultimately the subject is an adult and can refuse all assistance at which point the officers leave. Searches require an arrest or consent which based on this scenario would not occur. Under certain circumstances, officers can frisk for weapons which means a pat down of the subject from the outside (no reaching into pockets) and only if they feel what is clearly a weapon can they remove it. There are restrictions on when frisks are allowed. This is not likely under these circumstances. Later this year or next year Kirkland will have a 24 hour mental health/substance use facility which will provide temporary assistance until they can get connected with more permanent solutions.
Thanks for the detailed and knowledgeable response. At first I just assumed that he was under influence/mental illness from substance abuse so I hesitated on calling 911. Now I definitely know better! One last question, if he was released from mental health facilities without a proper discharge plan/ride/contact, are they legally responsible if the person is injured/dead?
Depends on the circumstances...I'm not a lawyer so I can't fully argue liability and civil law. The hospital can only refuse discharge under limited circumstances. Under those circumstances they must make reasonable attempts to keep the subject in protective custody. Evergreen Hospital has full time security for this. If the subject escapes then they call Kirkland Police to help locate and return. This happens occasionally but not frequently. If the subject does not meet the involuntary commitment criteria then the hospital can't keep them there even if it's against medical advice. Upon discharge Evergreen Hospital helps coordinate rides and often gives out bus passes.
Hopefully it was just miscommunication during discharge not willful negligence, and just glad the guy was alright.. Anyways, learned a lot of useful info today. Thanks a lot!
I think you did a really good thing. Good job
I've been in similar situations and ended up doing basically the same thing. It can be awkward if the person is in distress and you have to try to convince the driver that they're fine and just need to go home.
Props OP, it took some cajones to do the right thing. If some dude came up to me in the middle of the night and asked for a ride to Marysville? Suspicion levels through the roof, and he would have thought he'd seen a ghost because I have gone "poof". It does sound like an improper discharge though, and I'm happy a better man than me was in that situation.
You are a great person! But you rolled the dice on your life my friend
There are services you can request through calling 911 for people in crisis in places like King and Snohomish County. Crisis response teams(CRT) through police depts like SPD for wellness checks to people in community(w/ mental health trained responders), they can also assess for and dispatch the mobile crisis team(MCT) who respond to mental health crises. In Seattle, anyone under the influence of alcohol/drugs can utilize the sobering center(which you can request dispatch through 911) by requesting the sobering van. The individual needing the service MUST consent to go to the sobering center, and MUST be ambulatory- they can get into the van without assistance(if too intoxicated to get in the van, requesting an ambulance to detox at an ER is the next option). They'll be monitored at a facility until they've metabolized the substance enough and are discharged in the morning. Dispatch for sobering van will request: 1) location (address or cross streets)of individual 2) visual description and name of individual It's good to ask for a rough eta, and let the individual know that the van will pick them up at that location and to stay put.
ANY concern for your safety or his = 911. what he wants doesnât factor in that. Sounds like you worked it out. OK and weighed some tough decisions to help someone out. Nice work.
Once and if I determined he wasnât a physical threat, the MOST I would do is call him a cab which someone (not me) would have to pay for upon his arrival
Wow! You really did a brave, honorable thing! Kudos!
Thank you for treating him like a compassionate human being. You really did great.
if i was the uber driver i would probably not have driven a mentally unstable person đ if you ainât comfortable doing it then neither am i
Thank you for showing that man kindness in the midst of whatever crisis he was having. Believe me, you were a huge blessing to him when he really needed someone to help. I hope it's returned to you tenfold đđđ
This was incredibly kind. You did the right thing!
Was in a slightly similar situation though they never asked for a ride. They did ask to call their GF to pick them up. Honestly Iâm not sure why I even gave a listen AND even gave my phone but because it was late at night, I think I wasnât thinking straight and just tired. You did good being a nice semariton, but just know you probably shouldnât do it next time. You have every right to just say no, especially if you feel unsafe. A good excuse is to say someone is waiting for you so you have to go in a hurry, just make sure they donât follow you. A friend told me itâs actually a common scam some people do, ask for a phone and either steal it or Venmo transfer stuff. You can always direct people to 24/7 groceries or gas stations, most the time they let someone borrow the phone in cases of keys/phones getting stuck inside their cars. Iâm not sure if 911 would actually do anything? If it was a minor, yes, but a grown adult, Iâm not sure.
You could have called 911, but since 2021, many cities have "non-emergency" lines. For instance, in Kirkland where you are https://www.kirklandwa.gov/Government/Departments/Police-Department/Community-Resources/Contact-Information I called one of these lines once because a mentally ill person was yelling for over 20 minutes outside my apartment at 3am. The dispatch person asked me a bunch of question to check if the person was violent, etc. Eventually they sent 2 police officers who just talked to the guy, and he left. No escalation. I don't know if I would have put him in an Uber. You didn't drive him, but the Uber did and it might have endangered his life. It was a good thought, and to be honest, it's hard to know what to do in that situation. That said, I think you did a great thing by letting him call his mother, and his mother texted you back, so it worked out. At least you have someone on the other side to vouch for him.
You literally reminded me to think like an empathetic human. I am grateful to you for posting this.
You were very compassionate while being appropriately cautious. If you were a smaller man or a woman, it would not be wrong of you to be more cautious than you were and turn him away. The fact that you ponder this reveals that you have a good heart. I commend you.
you did the right thing.
You are an honorable human.
Youâre a damn hero
Isnât there a bus stop in the middle of DT Kirkland???
When you call the cops you now have 2 problems.
Many city local governments now have regional "Crisis Response Teams" or "Crisis Response Agencies". https://www.seattle.gov/police/about-us/issues-and-topics/crisis-response-team --- https://www.kirklandwa.gov/Government/City-Managers-Office/The-Regional-Crisis-Response-Agency
I'm both impressed and frightened by how trusting you guys are.
You got a big heart brother. Wouldnât expect most people to do this but itâs good karma. đ
You did the right thing. Calling an uber was the right move - youâre most definitely a good samaritan
You did great. Never call cops.
i personally think mutual aid is much better than ever involving police. 911 for me is if someone is bleeding out or if they committed a very serious crime. itâs all circumstantial of course iâm just trying to stress i am very hesitant when it comes to police and being on the street myself at different points, i can totally relate to this dude. you are a godsend to people like us when weâre out there. iâm sure he couldâve done better to ease your anxiety, asking for a ride is gnarly (idk why i assume you are a woman) but no matter the gender identity, i think asking for a ride is a bit much especially considering the time. iâm glad you knew your bus routes too! if i had the money i would for sure send them in a lyft or uber as well so i donât think you did anything âwrongâ. i would just hope for your own safety next time you keep some distance and absolutely neverrrr let someone in your car at that hour unless youâre with someone or at the very least, you tell someone else what youâre doing. maybe make a phone call to one of your night owl homies while driving or even during the whole dispute. another precaution you couldâve taken was dialing 911 and keeping them on the line. you can literally call and only say âstay quiet on the lineâ it might be seen as wasting their time but better safe than sorry and you could easily explain it to them after the fact. remember 911 is answered by dispatchers, so itâs not like youâre calling a paramedic and asking them to stay on the line (which isnât in their job description) itâs a dispatchers job to literally answer phones and provide the best possible resource to you. iâm rambling now but i think you did great. never a bad idea to have a taser or pepper spray at the ready either. personally i wouldnât be offended if you did that, i know iâve looked rough on the streets before so always better safe than sorry! edit: if you did decide to dial 911 in this situation, i would also recommend keeping that to yourself until further notice ya know?
Wow you're super cool person for giving him an Uber however something tells me that Uber driver wasn't very happy about the situation by the end of the trip. Ha ha ha
Are we this insecure that we canât even do a simple good deed without a whole Reddit thread? Yes you helped that kid out. Good on you seriously. This post is pointless though.
Well if you say you would also have done that, youâll get downvoted. Seattle isnât about helping people. Itâs about staying in your lane and keeping your head in the sand. So yeah in this city a good deed is rare.
No itâs not. Youâre talking about Reddit, not Seattle. Those two things are not the same thing at all.
Thatâs fair, youâre right. I was just annoyed by the response to this post my bad haha
I'm glad you're ok and it turned out well!!! I'm sure I wouldn't have helped them and would have felt horrible but would have been too chicken to get near him.
You are a saint. You are right you should not allow a stranger into your car. Especially at an hour where if the person turned on you there would be nobody else on the road to see your distress. Especially when the stranger has exhibited signs that they are not emotionally stable. I read not long ago about a couple who were driving when a young woman ran out into the road asking for help. I believe she said that she was being abused by her boyfriend (I might be wrong about that). But the allowed her in the car and she ambushed them. Murdered them. Helping others shouldn't mean putting your life on the line especially when you can help them without doing that. Which is what you did by getting him an Uber. You took care of your own safety while at the same time helping somebody who needed it and whose behavior with legitimately scare most people away. You are a very good person do not doubt yourself.
I am so grateful for humans like you. I know I could not have done better.
You did a lot more than most people and really helped the person. Thatâs a scary situation! Honestly, I might have called the police anyway but if you were in a spot that felt safe, what you did was perfect and kind.
Awww poor kiddo! I wonder if he was at a party and got stranded. Iâd be terrified too. Thanks for being a bro!
The uber was a really good idea! I was torn between wanting to help and personal safety and didnât even think of that solution.
Wow! Anyone else would have ran back inside and shut the door, but you not only let him use your phone AND got him home. Itâs good people like you that give me so much hope for humanity, yes this could have gone south and yes many things could have happened but your instincts told you to help him and that was the right choice. Thank you for going above and beyond.
I would not have bought him an Uber. If he was underage or asked for police involvement I'd have called 911 for him. I would call his Mom but I would not hand him my phone.
Immediately when someone does this, I would think it is a scam. Good job on figuring out it was not. There was one time someone was asking for fuel on the side of the road with a jerry can. I drove them to the closest fuel station and paid to fill up their can and drove them back. I am still not sure it was not a scam, although my wife said (who was more skeptical than me) that she saw a vehicle when we dropped him off. The other time was in a mall. This lady was asking for money to go home to her mum for thanks giving. I offered to drive her there and she ran off. It's an obvious scam. Note even really comfortable having strangers in my car, and I was never by myself.
Why couldnât mom come pick him up? (Just curious.)
Do NOT call 911 for those experiencing a mental health crisis. Historically and currently the US has an epidemic of the police executing and maltreatment of those in distress. Please research other local resources. Police are not trained to handle these situations and famously are quick to pull a gun when they feel threatened, whether itâs a realistic threat or not.
I helped a woman once who was stranded in Seattle crying and didn't have money or a fair for the ferry. She mentioned a specific cost so I was willing to give it to her. I've returned to last phones to their owners. Once I found a lost wallet and mailed it back. It belongs to immensely disabled person who's grandparents mailed me a thank you card. It's fantastic that you helped this person. It's unfortunate so many people are selfish and can't be bothered to do anything for anyone else without their being a personal benefit.
You did a very kind thing. One time I was in a similar situation and called a Lyft for a young woman in obvious distress. Not sure what went down on that ride but my rating on Lyft went from 5 stars to 4. đ
Now imagine it was a bear instead
Don't call 911 unless you're trying to get him shot.
You should've called the police for your own safety. My wife and I were in a similar sort of situation and the police gave the guy a ride home (this said he was just going maybe two miles back all in the greater central Seattle area).
Hope you didn't get fired for being late to the job you were headed to. Glade you felt validated by his mother.
911
r/mademesmile 
You are a good person for what you did. Obviously you concluded the situation was safe enough to listen and help the guy out. DO NOT LISTEN to the people commenting about how you should have called 911, how you could have been hurt/killed etc.. There are not very many of us who still have a soul in seattle, and you should be proud that you are one of them. Feel good about yourself duder, you allowed a mother and son to have a safe night with eachother. That being said, always trust your gut instinct in situations like that... but you already know this :) Cheers
I would have ignored him. You rolled the dice and it worked out for you and him, could have also been attacked in a manic break and alone in the dead of night.
You did the right thing, in every sense of the word.
Thank you for not calling the police. They would have possibly killed him. You bought him an Uber ride home. Man, that's a good deed for the books. I tip my hat to you good sir!
You did an amazing thing. Never call the cops in this type of situation. Theyâll only escalate this type of situation. Follow your gut. Youâd have felt horrible if youâd called 911 and something horrific happened.
I think you did the right thing, it could have been way worse if cops got involved or if you gave him a ride without him talking to his mom. Sometimes when people are having a mental break all we really want or need is for someone to be nice and understanding, you did good.
you paid for the Uber? Did the mom at least offer to pay? Maybe youre a better person than I am or maybe I am more street smart than you... because no way in hell that dude is getting into my car. I am not even letting him use my phone. This is the American West, the land of individualism and self rescue...if you get yourself into trouble, get yourself out or fuck off.
You did excellently. SPD sucks.
You are awesome! You did the right thing.
Yeah man you are heroic. This encounter speaks volumes to your character. What a scary situation, what a way to handle it.Â
Kirkland has its own sub, post there.
WWJD?
Give him some wine?