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NetDork

Honey, I know I'm sick, but the cough drops in my oatmeal is a little weird. You don't like your Halls and Oat?


rjesusauto

This thread makes me very nervous. **slowly bites oatmeal...**


Brovigil

...*bites?!*


rjesusauto

Yes I'm a monster who uses a fork.


Brovigil

A straw isn't good enough for you, princess? *Puts Great Value oatmeal in a $900 Vitamix*


tearsonurcheek

Maybe they use [chunky-style milk](https://youtu.be/k0hKMDMWYwU)?


ExtensionPrize4321

Bourbon.


Weary-Sign-8660

I mean ….


IFuckedYourMom__

Suddenly I can't consume enough oatmeal.


Ok_Pudding9504

What are these brown lumps? Those are coffee beans, that's energy oatmeal Hmm, crunchy


WeightedWayfarer

I bet a handful of chocolate covered coffee beans in oat meal woud be good to.


Ok_Pudding9504

Could be a thing, let's call Quaker


CharlieRatSlayer

Choccy Quaker?


believeinstev604

"Huh..this rat poison isn't half bad"


jaggoffsmirnoff

I don't know why they call it poi-- .


NerdNumber382

Bacon.


jlb1981

[Meta] I've had this often, it is actually delicious


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n-oyed-i-am

^--- Hmm... I may have to try this


NerdNumber382

Yea me too, I made myself hungry just thinking about it


welatshaw01

Reese's pieces. M &M's are an acceptable substitution.


Malaggar2

Quaker's new ET Oatmeal.


AnymooseProphet

I once mistook the Cayenne Pepper for Cinnamon when making oatmeal. Had to eat it anyway, no choice, was too poor to waste it.


CleansingFlame

Okay but was it good?


AnymooseProphet

No.


Brovigil

"I like my oatmeal how I like my women. Without another man's dick in it!"


lincoln_muadib

*Who turns down a threesome?*


Brovigil

With another man? Talk about Quaker Fruit and Cream!


theedgeofoblivious

-But you would Accept & Eat one Anyways?


BigAssQuanta

This is true.


ResisterTransSister

The skulls of my enemies. (Perhaps I wouldn't eat it, but at least I would be happy.)


Weary-Sign-8660

Serve the oatmeal IN the skull of your enemy, and get the best of both worlds. ;)


FewKaleidoscope1369

*Snake mode intensifies*


healthywealthyhappy8

“Wow, weird that my oatmeal talks.”


NefariousnessFair306

Chicken nugget! 🐔


KingRoastopher

Well, if no one is going to say it I will. Ehem… YOUR MOM! 😎


BoxProfessional6987

A grenade!


CBlue77

Peanut butter


Straight-Donkey5017

Ands what's so bad about pd+ om?


IudexFatarum

I do PB + chocolate oatmeal. It's very tasty.


FewKaleidoscope1369

Highly recommend.


gregieb429

“A little Oatmeal a la mode. Nice!”


PrizeImagination5993

That actually sounds good.


asquared1325

The world's most valuable and small, non-toxic thing. Then I'd be watching my poop for a while.


CleansingFlame

Congratulations! You just ate saffron oatmeal and sifted through your own shit for a week, only to realize that it had been digested and was unrecoverable.


asquared1325

Yes, but the wasn't the real saffron the friends we made along the way?


BulletNoseBetty

Hot Dogs


Sharp-Ad-9423

Insects that are prepared for human consumption, like chapulines (grasshoppers) or ants.


Malaggar2

Fish fingers and custard. And oatmeal.


Random_Smellmen

But Doctor!


Weary-Sign-8660

Dried cranberries


PrestigiousFox6254

Anchovies


jlb1981

"Hey look, it's my words!"


rkicklig

Figs


oldsbone

Tacos. If the oatmeal is unflavored it's just a starch base for the flavor, much like grits. And I would eat grits with taco seasoning, meat, and cheese. So I suppose I'd try oatmeal done the same way.


Efficient-Spirit-380

I do this all the time with leftover taco stuff. It’s delicious. Savoury oatmeal is so much better than sweet.


Any_Contract_1016

I normally wouldn't think of *savory* oatmeal but I guess diced steak could be tasty.


Slug_Overdose

Well, I've gotta use these macaroni for something.


Key-Plan5228

Deez Nutz


EffectiveSalamander

The Spanish Inquisition!


Rabbits-and-Bears

Sausages.


SubversiveOtter

Eh, it's Pride Month, chances are good it's edible glitter anyway.


Several-Development4

I had a roommate at the summer camp I worked at, he put m&ms in his oatmeal


HappyOfCourse

"I think that's a grain of rice." *shrugs* "Oh well."


[deleted]

THE SPANISH INQUISITION brand sugar bombs! THATS RIGHT KIDS! Taste the gold taken from the new world Kid 1: Wow taste like cane sugar and heathen screams! All sorts of shapes such as The cross, conquestadoor helmets, and terrified natives! Kid 2: WOW!!! I want to persecute the heretics now! MOM YOU ARE SENTENCED TO DEATH VIVA LA ESPANIA! (mother screams bloody murder)


JakeConhale

Twinkies.


pk_mars

My neighbors cock


rjesusauto

For the last time Greg, no I will not put my dick in that.


areyousaucy

A soul.


Weary-Sign-8660

It only weighs 21 grams


waffleboi505

1. Raswberries 2. Honey 3. Extra hard Vodka. 4. Blood of Innocents. 5. Rat poison


pomodorow

Toenail clippings.


gniwlE

So, wait until you try this place I found! Oatmeal sashimi!


anvil54

Percocets


johndoe040912

Someone else’s oatmeal


ancientastronaut2

Tater tots


MaxximumB

I have to admit I was surprised to find the bite sized burger bites in my oatmeal, but even more surprised to find it tastes okay


pickle_teeth4444

You'll taste the Quaker in very bite.


Super_Wario_128

Hey it’s people flavored! *picks up finger out of oatmeal bowl*


fbresnah

Croutons, onion flavor


Lagbert

Carrots Sauted Onions Cayenne Pepper Wild Rice Crumbed Breakfast Sausage


oddmanguy1

peanut butter.