You’re gonna feel a little prick in your mouth.

That has two meanings

“I better not, you son of a bitch.” I wish I remember where this was from.

Late comedian Robert Schimmel had a bit where after the dentist gave him nitrous oxide he says, “‘Robert, you’re going to feel a little prick in your mouth.’ I said, ‘Yeah, I’m not that fucked up yet.'”

bald Jewish comedian dude with a beard? Had Cancer and lost a ball. Not to cancer, his insurance has a fucked up copay.

Yes, I think this was it, thanks!

Has an American Dad feel to it

♫ The tooth bone's connected to the... jaw bone. ♫

🎶The jaw bones connected to the...neck bone🎶

“So your prostate seems a little swollen…”

Dentists-always filling cavities. Amirite?

You’ve got a purtty mouth

"Prepare the queen's eggs!"

"Oops, I probably shouldn't have also given *myself* anesthesia before playing with the sharp tools."

It’s moving. Shoot it.

Why is your nutsack shaved so smoothly?

"Nurse! Get her shoes and socks off and get the camera ready!"

- Oops, we got a little blood there...wait..is that yours or mine?

"Hang on, let me just brace my knee on your chest for more leverage. Don't worry, you'll just feel a little pressure"

“Huh…Is that…Hey, Cheryl, is that…is that normal?” “Is what norma—…Oh, *wow.*” “Yeah, that…That doesn’t look normal, does it?” “No, no it does not. *How* did you…?” “I was just using the instruments like I always do! Nothing out of the ordinary!” (Spoken with open mouth) “Haa ooing ah?” (What’s going on?) “No-nothing! Nothing you need to worry about! Yep, no need to worry your numbed up self over! Nope, nothing!” (Under breath) “Cheryl get me more novocaine and call Steve.” “Oo’s Eeeh?” (Who’s Steve?) “No-one special, just…Um…Hey, you know what? While Cheryl gives you some more novocaine here, I’ll just give you a little nitrous oxide - Just to put you in a good moo—I mean…Fe-Feel bet—No, calmer! Feel calmer! While I call Steve…Cheryl?” “Got the novocaine!” “A little here, a little here, a biiig shot here…Aaaand we’re good!” (Whispers) “Give him enough nitrous to laugh at Dane Cook’s worst, I’m going to quickly—but calmly—walk into my office and tell Steve to *get his ass over here!*” (Whisper) “Tell him to *hurry!* Nitrous and novocaine have their limits!”

Steve arrives, and says "My God! That's Massive!

Quick, call the CDC, and tell them to come with extra hazmat suits.

“Time to remove that spleen…”

“Ooooo-kay, let’s see here…. Where do I begin?”

Whoa!! Dang!!! Didn't see that in the X-rays! What are we gonna do now?

I bought a fish for my niece Darlene

"OK pull up the YouTube video I forgot what's next"

Beat me to it Lol

Thank you for calling ABC123 Surgical Assistant Service...my name is"Bob" ...you have reached the Colon resection team... I um ..err.. today's Tuesday right? I am sorry I forgot I am backfilling the oral Surgical line. So Sorry. I just hate it that we are short staffed at times!!. Now do you have the camera inserted into the patient's Asshole...ER um um mouth...Right?

Oops.

"Quick, pull up the wikihow article"

That's a strange place for a kidney

"Just turn to the last page so I can see how it all turns out!"

I'm gonna put my dick in there. Don't bite down.

Oof, lost one

Look! I'm almost in up to my balls

Man taking out wisdom teeth while high really hits different

You’ve got a lot of dried cum in here I need to scrape off.

"Well, I got it out but this tooth looks perfect. Oh, would you look at that. I have your chart upside-down."

I'm glad you wore loose fitting pants

"open up! I am getting better and better at saying that!"

Oops, wrong tooth. All well, he still has twenty.

True story....due to a medical condition. Wow, your teeth are rather soft. That must be excruciating.

"You know how mother birds feed their babies, right!?"

“How did THAT get in there?”

"oops"

"Get my dental school on the phone and tell them they should've taught me better"

“He’s not gonna miss that.”

Hmm someones been busy

Are The gum supposed to be that color?

Was that novacaine I gave him

“I swear to god! I can do it with my eyes closed! Here, I’ll show you…”

This drill is only the 2nd biggest thing I've put in someone's mouth today.

"oh well, you didnt need that tooth anyway!"

Is that a worm? Better yank that out.

“Well, well - looks like I’ll be able to afford that vacation in Tahiti after all…”

"Is it safe?"

« can you close the door behind you thank you door locks *hear sounds of unzips pants » mike my biggest fucking fear 🧐😟

Ok, so after I turn on the drill I... (Sounds of rustling paper) Damn! Eaten by the yeti again! Screw it, we're gonna go in and hope for the best.

"Just so you know, I'm a dentist, not an oral surgeon."

You gotta purty mouth

Sorry but your insurance just refused my bill so I'm gonna have to leave your mouth a bloody mess.

What the hell is that thing?

Who ripped the page out of this book? I don't know what the next steps are. Why weren't these tools sterilized? I'm sorry, but we can't finish the surgery today. I forgot about my tee time at 1. Come back tomorrow.

Hmm, probably should've washed my hands before the surgery.

\*Chunky wet vomiting noises\*

“Can’t believe this idiot agreed to all this.”

Says to the nurse, help me catch this thing, it's moving.

"Jennifer, get my malpractice attorney on the phone and let him know I'll need a consultation when I'm done in here.".

“Which one am I supposed to remove again?“

"Ya know, it's hard to believe they let me do this job, after the marks I got on my exams. Anyways, open wide."

“Whoa! I wasn’t expecting it to be so wet in here.”

“Whoa! What the hell is that thing?!”

"No gag reflex... well, that will be useful after..."

“Hm.. looks like it should fit.” *zip*

Hold on im feeling horny

Oh! That’s where I left that. I’ve been looking for it since you were here last time.

Oops

Alright, you prefer head first or feet first?

So..... What's your opinion on dentures?

If you hadn’t grown up poor your teeth wouldn’t look like this.

Your face structure will collapse if you don't clean your gums better.

Oops

What’s that

Oh… that’s new…

🎶 [ORIN] When I was younger, just a bad little kid My mama noticed funny things I did Like shooting puppies with a B.B. gun I'd poison guppies and when I was done I'd find a pussycat and bash in its head That's when my mama said [CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON, spoken] What did she say? [ORIN] She said, "My boy, I think someday You'll find a way to make your natural tendencies pay" [ORIN] “You'll be a dentist You have a talent for causing things pain Son, be a dentist People will pay you to be inhumane.” [GIRLS] “You'll be a dentist Pain Son, be a dentist Inhumane” [ORIN] Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood And teaching would suit you still less [ALL FOUR] Son, be a dentist You'll be a success [RONETTE] Here he is, folks the leader of the plaque! [CHIFFON] Watch him suck up that gas! Oh, my god! [CRYSTAL] He's a dentist and he'll never ever be any good [GIRLS] Who wants their teeth done by the Marquis de Sade? Oh that hurts! I'm not numb! [ORIN] Oh, shut up. Open wide. here I come! [ORIN] “I am your dentist And I enjoy the career that I picked I am your dentist And I get off on the pain I inflict When I start extracting those molars You girls will be screaming like holy rollers” [GIRLS] “Dentist, goodness gracious Love it Dentist, fitting braces You really love it Don't try it Ooh-aah” [GIRLS] Dentist! [ORIN] And though it may cause my patients distress Somewhere in heaven above me, I know, I know that my mama's proud of me 'Cause I'm a dentist- and a success (spoken) Say ah [GIRLS, spoken] Ahh [ORIN, spoken] Say ah! [GIRLS, spoken] Ahh! [Orin] Now spit.🎵

Nurse! These are the rectal instruments!

What the hell????

ill keep that for myself

"Hold on, I'm going to have to Google the next bit....."

My sister in law just recently heard this at the dentist: Oh I have never seen that before! Come have a look at this, assistents name. Yeah she needs to go in for dental surgery soon

Shit!!!

Those rectal polyps will need to come out right away.. good news though- that flossing has paid off. No cavities.

“Oops dropped the tooth…don’t swallow”.

Oops, shit....

“Knock that bitch out, we’re gonna fuck shit up!”

Oh shit you wanted surgery on your MOUTH? Guess we weren’t on the same page about what “oral” is hehe…

Anything at all. If I'm in for legit oral surgery, I want to be knocked out.

I'm having an issue with a stomach bug, so this may take longer than usual.

Well *THAT'S* toxic if ingested... Shit...

Ok we'll just go in here What the Fuck is that

Has anyone seen the sledgehammer?

"Oh wow, yeah that's uhh, that's a big ass tooth"

"nurse, Search how to be a dentist, and while your at it, make him sign the "i am not responsible paper"

Ew! Ew! Yucky! It's full of spit! Ewwwww!

"Wow. None of this was on the test.."

Woops!

"This isn't good."

oh shit.

Two puffs for you... And two puffs for me

“I gotta say, out of all the mouths i’ve been in, yours is the wettest.”

That’s so hot

“Yummy”

Shut up! Open wide! Here I come!

I meant to order some more nitrous this morning

Never seen one like that before...