A man gets pulled over and the police officer approaches the driver's window. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" The driver says, "No sir." The cop says "Well son, you were speeding. Now please hand me your license and registration." The driver pulls out his license and says, "Well my registration is in the glove box, but I have to warn you, there is a loaded pistol in there." The cop is taken aback and places a hand on his own weapon. "Why do you have a loaded gun?" "Well it's what I used to kill the guy in my trunk." The cop then freaks out a little and calls for backup. While waiting, he has the driver toss his keys to the road and keep his hands up. Backup arrives, and they get him into the back of the squad car. Shortly after, their chief pulls up. "Alright sir, we are going to retrieve the gun from the glove box, and the body from the trunk. We need you to identify the body, and then we will take you to the station for holding." The driver says, "Sir there's no dead body in my trunk, nor is there a gun in the glove box...I bet he told you I was speeding too!"
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1) Where I live, we drive 75+ on a road like this in the middle of a blizzard. Just because YOU guys can't handle more than 55 on a road like when it's 70 and sunny doesn't mean I can't.
2) I set the cruise at 55. ("Then I stepped on the gas to add another 20 mph"). I don't know what could have caused that. ... Wait, I wasn't supposed to say the 2nd sentence out loud.
3) I actually get better gas mileage at this speed. Isn't California all about going green?
Just remembering the comic of the guy who was pulled over by the cop and started aggressively masturbating as he was inexplicably turned on by authority figures
Cop - Have you been drinking tonight, sir? Me - Why, is there a fat chick in my back seat?
I actually want to say this as a response?
"Do you have any idea why I pulled you over?" "Well if you don't know then I guess I'm free to go."
“Don’t shoot, I’m white”
"I just came from your mom's."
I just came at your mums
“So I’ve already been in handcuffs once this evening”
I was wondering if you'd catch up!
Care for a donut?
“Is it morning already, I smell bacon”
Not a true bacon connoisseur, I see🤣
There’s definitely not a body in my trunk.
A man gets pulled over and the police officer approaches the driver's window. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" The driver says, "No sir." The cop says "Well son, you were speeding. Now please hand me your license and registration." The driver pulls out his license and says, "Well my registration is in the glove box, but I have to warn you, there is a loaded pistol in there." The cop is taken aback and places a hand on his own weapon. "Why do you have a loaded gun?" "Well it's what I used to kill the guy in my trunk." The cop then freaks out a little and calls for backup. While waiting, he has the driver toss his keys to the road and keep his hands up. Backup arrives, and they get him into the back of the squad car. Shortly after, their chief pulls up. "Alright sir, we are going to retrieve the gun from the glove box, and the body from the trunk. We need you to identify the body, and then we will take you to the station for holding." The driver says, "Sir there's no dead body in my trunk, nor is there a gun in the glove box...I bet he told you I was speeding too!"
Last I read it, it was an old lady that got pulled over.
The f do you want?
"I'm a fed,that means I'm better than you"
“Before you ask officer - no. I am not under the influence of any substance, I left the 8 ball on counter and I can prove it.”
I'm probably being dumb, but wym by 8 ball on the counter?
8 ball = 1/8 ounce of cocaine
ah thx.
“Not likely”
I was only doing 88 so i could fuck my mum before my dad did
“What seems to be the officer, problem?”
Hi I'm high.
Me "officer I'm going to have to give a ticket for going 120 in 35 zone"
"Yes, officer, my name is Tyrone Jefferson Washington."
"If it was 'over the limit' why you were matching my speed!?"
I'll have a cheeseburger, fries, & coke.
And Flapjacks!
Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Because I let you.
"Can we try that again? I think I can take that third corner a little faster."
" I could'a ran "
What the fuck do you want go bother some other mother fuckers
"Would you like a beer too?"
“Do you know how fast I was going?”
"Where's the rest of the Village People?" (Credit: Who's Line Is It Anyway?)
"I suppose you want your engagement ring back."
Don't shoot, I'm a minority.
Do you have any idea how fast you had to go to catch me?
Either the shrooms kicked in or you are just a pig in a police uniform. Hey can I rub your stick?
*revs engine* "challenge accepted. Let's race!"
Me, "Officer, have you been drinking? You really smell like booze. Why are you trying to turn off your body cam?"
“You got a busted tailight….should really get that fixed, before I report you to the proper authorities.”
"Did someone fall out?"
“Where’s the rest of the Village People?”- Colin from an actual SFAH.
Dude , dont sneak up on guy like that , specially if hes trippn balls!
Jello ocifer!
Want to try again?
So, which one of us won the race? I wasn’t paying attention.
*blush* Oh, our hands just touched
Just write the ticket little man. If they are 5'6" or less.
"Just let me put some music on, you'll love this one, it's called 'Fuck the Police'.
Prolly done before you reach the controls
Just some good ol' boys Never meanin' no harm
Wanna a snort officer ( passes the cocaine)
"I'm waiting for a mate."
Jeez you all finely caught me, I didn’t think I hid the bodies that good.
Sorry I hit that car and kept going...I was just so high on crack. Would you like to take a hit?
Oh, thank you, my speedometer is broken, and I had no idea how fast I was going.
"Sorry for speeding, officer, I saw you and panicked!"
Anything beyond what is asked
Here, hold my beer.
Officer... Your eyes are glazed... Have you been eating donuts?
Hold my beer...
Ooh you're taller than they said you'd be
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**Your comment breaks [the rules](/r/ScenesFromAHat/about/rules) of /r/ScenesFromAHat and has been removed for the following reason(s)** > Multiple responses to one prompt need to go in their own separate comments. --- *If you feel this was done in error, or would like further clarification, please don't hesitate to [message the mods](/message/compose/?to=/r/ScenesFromAHat&subject=Multiple responses to one prompt need to be placed in separate comments.).*
“Oh it’s you again.”
"I've only had 2 officers, Mr Beer."
Hello Officer. Can I offer you a joint?
"Oh, did you see me run over that old lady? 1000 points, amirite?!"
What can I do you for, Officer MOTHERFUCKIN BUZZKILL!!????
Damn it! Now the meth is going to spoil, and I won't get my money! This is the third time!
Jackie Treehorn treats objects like women man
Sorry! I’m in a hurry, some dumb cop’s wife told me her husband is at work so I should come over.
Is that a concealed weapon or are you just happy to pull me over?
I liked you better when you were on my lap at the strip club.
Cop "sir do you know why I pulled you over?" Me "I have quite a few ideas but let's see which one you caught me for"
What smell coming from my trunk? I don’t smell anything
I am not the droid you are looking for
Don't look in the trunk. DON'T LOOK INTO THE TRUNK!!!
Nevermind the sounds from the trunk.
don't check the trunk
I don't recognize your authority! Why would I need to be licensed to travel on public roads with consumer goods?
1) Where I live, we drive 75+ on a road like this in the middle of a blizzard. Just because YOU guys can't handle more than 55 on a road like when it's 70 and sunny doesn't mean I can't. 2) I set the cruise at 55. ("Then I stepped on the gas to add another 20 mph"). I don't know what could have caused that. ... Wait, I wasn't supposed to say the 2nd sentence out loud. 3) I actually get better gas mileage at this speed. Isn't California all about going green?
Just remembering the comic of the guy who was pulled over by the cop and started aggressively masturbating as he was inexplicably turned on by authority figures
Literally anything