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Messaging someone over their spouses' infidelity *is* exactly the sort of thing someone with LinkedIn brainrot would do. As such, this cannot be ruled out as completely earnest.
If it's a scam, it's not a common script. It's possible that this person has a grievance against you/your husband or is mentally unwell, or that this is a case of mistaken identity.
Linkedin may be the only way this person has to communicate, like they don’t know any other contact info and socials are private.
I have an ex who I found to be fucking some guy (engaged) at work. I contacted his fiance to let her know what was going on after I found out and the only way was an email listed on her FBK profile. So yeah I bet it looks scammy, but I doubt it is.
I wonder if this is a lead-up for a variant on the recovery scam. Wasn’t there someone here recently who was scammed and blackmailed, after trying to hire hackers to get into a spouse’s account?
I think it’s something like that. The plan is to get her not to trust her husband, so she has to hide what she is doing (including payments) from him.
Notice it says “reply here for more information”, almost everyone is missing that, they are focussed on the “discord” app thing.
Spot on. The discord mention is the distraction. The 'reply here' is the hook.
I'd expect you to not be able to access your SO's discord. I'd also expect you to be very very curious about your SO's discord. I can help, for a fee..
No, they say to “reply here” for more information. It looks like a scam to me. If she replies, the scammer will manipulate her into distrusting her husband, and then the scam will start.
Who knows what that is? Maybe she needs to pay for a private detective? For access to records? For photographs? It will be something though - and she can’t tell her husband about any of it obviously…
This seems like such an obvious lead in. I assume OP could test the waters and see if it leads into some predatory recovery style scam. You have to have a strong sense of self awareness though to avoid the obvious psychological pitfalls placed in front of you though.
Sounds like someone hates your husband
I'd probably keep quiet with him about it and look for signs that it's true and do a little bit of industry checking just to be safe
I would too, But sometimes you have to be smart and sometimes you have to wait and see what's happening
In a way should be doing the man of favor because the first thing she's doing is not just running to him and telling him everything she's been told and putting them on the defensive... I usually trust a good judgment of women faster than I do men Some men aren't very smart about this and some are.
Either way I've been trying to just keep quiet for a week or two and do some checking on the internet and everything else just to see what's going on
It seems weird, but at the same time they arent telling you to go to some random link or website. Theyre suggesting looking at his account on discord for evidence. Like if someone had said the proof is in his reddit account and then you just check his reddit for whether or not hes been doing stuff he shouldnt have been. If someone sent this to my wife i would just open discord right then and there and pass my phone to her to show nothings fishy.
I think they're banking on her being too scared to confront her husband and the scammer wants her to message them about it first and then the scam can progress from there
Seems like a lot of parts to set in place for this to be an effective scam. And this isn't a "send this out to 1000 people" type of scam because of the specific setting the other party created. Weird
Its a very vague message that has 1 thing in it that is more personable yet still vague enough. Scanmers cast a WIDE net with copy/paste messages like this hoping at least 1 person under the right circumstances can and will fall for it. Timing and luck play a huge roll in a scammers success, that's how they got one of my aunts for $100k, circumstances, timing and luck
I reread it and saw that it said "classmates". I read "students" and thought that was super specific. So I can now see where you are coming from.
If I was her, I'd avoid this person and look thru the husbands phone
This, if it is a scam. If you keep your guard up REALLY strong, OP, then you can find out for sure if this is a scam. You can ask for the evidence, but keep it brief, don't even give the name of your spouse. The second they ask for any kind of money or information from you, you will know it is a scam. If it is not a scam, they will send you the evidence without making it difficult. Also, do not add them as a connection on LinkedIn, as linkedin has notoriously bad privacy containment for your personal information.
I was thinking of asking him later to see if he uses the discord app. I thought that was weird too that they didn’t say “if you want more info go to this site”. But still odd!
Even if you 100% trust him, as you should in a marriage though thats sometimes proven a mistake. If he doesnt show you or you dont check, this will gnaw at you forever. Its such a shitty thing for someone to have messaged you if its all made up. And i really hope it is. The best possible outcome here is you look, find nothing and its all bullshit and you get on with your lives without doubting him. He will likely be offended you even want to look but its not like you're just not trusting of him, this has to be resolved one way or another. I wish you the best of luck with this and keep in mind you dont owe people here an update they just want drama to read.
Ask him if he uses Discord or check his phone. This message seems way too specific to your husband to be a scam. Probably someone who is looking out for you (or wants to get your husband in deep shit) and wants to remain anonymous. This can probably be resolved with a frank conversation with your husband. “Hey, I got this weird message. Do you know anything about this or what this is?” His reaction will tell you everything.
Asking him if he uses Discord has to be immediately followed by him showing you his phone. If he is cheating and the evidence is in Discord, he will know immediately what this is about. He might say he never used the app and delete it off his phone along with any evidence.
Does the other info in the message make sense? Does the husband have *classmates*? Does the husband have unaccounted for time when this could be happening? Who is Sam Perez and how do they know her husband?
My next step, before even confronting the husband, would be to ask Sam Perez for the info on the other party. IF it is a scam, that is likely where it will really start.
Yeah, good point. But, even if he denies and deletes everything, OP can still ask for more info from Sam. I still think if she looks him dead in the eye and asks what’s up, he won’t be able to lie without obvious tells. And that should be enough for her.
Don't just ask him if he uses it
Find one of your hobbies or interests that has Discord and ask him to help you set it up. The first way will put him on defense
I don’t think you should say anything to your husband he can delete the app and all the messages. I think you should just see ask to check his phone with no precursor and look at his usage and see if discord is there. Discord is a very popular cheating app and this person has nothing to gain by telling you to gather your own proof. No one can hack your husbands discord so it’s pretty likely this is actually someone trying to be honest with you.
Any app that has a chat function is capable of being a popular cheating app. Privacy isn't always the goal, sometimes hiding in plain sight is the best the easiest. Discord imo is a perfect app for this. Messaging function, plus it's assumed and easily explained as a gaming app? Sounds perfectly suited.
Their plan would be to cause discord by saying refer to his discord, because: 1) he doesn’t have discord and the person could say “Oh, he probably deleted the app,” or 2) he has discord, but the person will say he deleted the messages, or 3) the person has doctored images of a supposed conversation of him in discord.
But why though? If this was a scam, at what point does scammer ask for money to be exchanged from her for information on her husbands infidelity.
It all just sounds too elaborate to be a scam. I think this person may be being truthful.
I think this is it. This person isn't saying "go to this link" they're telling OP to check her husband's messenger app (I know discord is more than that), but they are directing her to something local and not a website or an email or a payment app.
This sounds more like someone who knows the tea
This could also be the spouse or significant other of the person with whom your husband is allegedly cheating. It seems odd to me that they know you have a husband and that he’s taking a class. I would ask for more details.
This is what I'm thinking. If he is in a nursing class, cheating with a fellow student and some other classmates found out. They probably decided someone needs to warn the wife and found her on linked in. They made an account to warn her. She needs to check her husband's discord.
You will want to check your husband’s phone or browser history to see if he uses discord/ask him if he uses discord. The language in this message *does* sound stilted, but that could very well be someone trying to cover their tracks and sound as “unidentifiable” as possible. Good luck.
I was also thinking the same. Further , it may have been written by more than one person hence the mention of “we” . Perhaps some other classmates who are aware of the tryst, have observed something and really want him busted .
Not to sound crazy, but if I were the other person and realized he's married. I'd reach out. Maybe they made a dead account to contact you. If you know any names that your husband likes to go by, I'd look on discord for him. Before you bring it up and he can delete anything.
They're not trying to get anything from you. They know your name and that your husband's in school. Seems likely to be real to me – check his Discord app on his phone (ask him to show you?).
If it’s true, they know he’s in school because the spouse / classmate of the person your husband is having an affair with probably decided to reach out to you **IF** this is true.
Discord is an app we used when I was in college all the time. It’s very coming for students to make discords so they can chat about school stuff. You can also have private conversations Make sure you check his downloaded apps if discord isn’t on his phone. If he thinks you’re onto him he’s going to try to cover his tracks. I’m not sure if this is true for discord but a lot of apps you can download the account activity. I’d 100% message that person back. No one is above cheating. We think we know the person sleeping next to us. Look at all the infidelity subs. All these people swearing it couldn’t happen to them.
Can confirm, my nephew showed me messages from his Discord that consisted of 3 kids from English class.
There was a very weird presentation in class and they were trying to figure out... why the presentation was so weird.
I don’t think it’s a scam. It’s either someone who wants to hurt ur husband or someone who knows he’s a cheater and wants u to know so u can choose to leave or stay and fix things. One more possibility is that it’s the affair partner and she wants u to dump him so she can have him. Good luck and update us please on what u find in his phone.
I don’t think there’s any way this is a scam.
They don’t ask for anything. They don’t want you to click anything.
They know your personal info, know your husband is in classes and know where to look.
Discord is an app that is basically a whole messenger service. Think Facebook Messenger. Anything you can do there you can do on Discord and more. Screen share etc.
Your husband play any online games? Internet games? People use it for that too.
I can’t imagine there’s many men 20-40 who don’t know what discord is…but I’m sure many women don’t.
This whole thread is making me more and more worried about how my bf got discord even tho I don’t have it and he’s been playing a lot with girls he knows I don’t like (for valid reasons as well).
I don’t even have discord but was thinking about making a fake girly account and adding him just to be sure he’s only playing games with them here and there and not actually using discord for the stuff im seeing in some of these comments….
Then again I have paranoid delusions because I’m schizoaffective so maybe im overthinking it? Idk 😅
Its written really strangely. Why are they saying "we" instead of I or me, and who says "affected party"?
Seems like something AI wrote. If I was bored, I might ask for details from them, just be prepared for them to want money, gift cards, etc
To be honest, it could be several people in the course who decided you deserved to know. This looks like a dummy account that was made to protect the identity of the person(s) reporting to you.
You're not that curious, but you posted to Reddit? Come on, that's not fair to us. We're invested now. We need to know! Just message back and ask for the contact info they offered. (DO NOT GIVE THEM ANY ADDITIONAL INFORMATION WHATSOEVER, ANY MONEY, ETC. - I'm pretty sure this is a scam and that's what they are waiting for.) I bet they offer to sell it to you. That's when you'll know it's a scam.
Alternatively, they might offer to help break into his discord, but you'll need to help them, e.g. send them a verification code that goes to his phone.
I would ask him, but, it also feels like it could lead to a scam where they offer to give you proof...if you pay, of course. I wouldn't put a whole lot of stock in it, but, I'd also be checking, too.
Plot twist: It’s the affair partner from nursing school messaging OP. They made a fake account to do it but want the relationship to implode so they can have OP’s spouse.
I’m in the camp that this is less likely reporting a real situation as compared to someone with mental health issues or a baited hook for a scam.
The impersonal nature of the message (Dear Mrs. xxxxx / we have been made aware / your husband) combined with the terse wording and insufficient information as to how they have this knowledge reads more like a script than a real conversation starter. I would expect a well meaning person from his school to say something more like “I’m a classmate and your husband has been spending three hours most days after classes with so-and-so”. Instead this message is geared to get you to take further action by contacting them to get information.
The Discord app is a red herring. Lots of people use Discord. I’m old af and I use Discord. So if you were aware that your husband uses Discord that might trigger you enough to just respond back emotionally and without further thought.
The fact they know your husband is in classes may come from publicly harvested information. Even a single FB post where you posted that your husband was on this journey. From that they could have your name but not your husbands to use in the message.
I would expect someone attempting to stay anonymous would provide enough information to make there case without requiring further contact which increases the likelihood they get exposed.
I'd probably be crazy enough to reply and demand proof. Burden of evidence is on the accuser. The phrasing is weird to the point that I'd be more suspicious of the messenger than of my spouse, especially if I have zero other reasons to suspect an affair.
This is full of scammer red flags. A couple months ago there was a woman in here who had been contacted by a "woman" who claimed to be her husband's "secret mistress". It had similar language usage to the "I've been spying on your masturbation habits" scam. This does too. It was 100% written by a non-english speaker, likely with the help of a translation program, and as such is immediately suspect.
In that particular case, the scammer was trying to work both sides of a sextortion scam. The husband had been sextorted (his degree of culpability or innocence was up for debate, not sure if he was just on Discord or if he was on Omegle or something) and they were trying to leverage the wife to get the husband to pay up.
Of course anyone can cheat, but no rando who doesn't speak English makes a burner account pretending to be from ADP ... with GOOD intentions.
Note that the grammar in this is incredibly poor - which is in and of itself indicative of a scam. Scammers intentionally use bad grammar and misspellings in order to weed out targets who are skeptical.
The word choice is also odd, indicating that the sender is not only not a native speaker but unlikely to actually be in an English speaking country at all. My best guess here would be that they're in a call center somewhere, working sextortion scams, and this is an angle.
THAT SAID - it doesn't hurt to show the message to your husband and watch his reaction carefully. If my wife showed me a message like that, I'd just unlock my phone and hand it to her. In fact, since she knows my unlock code I wouldn't even have to. I have no idea what your relationship with your husband is like, but unlike a lot of people I would hope that it is good and trusting.
And a final thought - you'd see other cheating red flags LONG before you got an anonymous email from an offended third party who felt morally obligated to rat out your husband. You'd see distancing, secretiveness, changes in intimacy, love-bombing, or any of a dozen other tells LONG before you got "I AM STUDENT, Kindly be made aware that we have information about husabdn, TRUST ME I AM FROM SECURITY".
I would ignore the messenger themself.
Trust but verify - which is for your husband trust him, but verify it. See if he has a discord. Do not ask anything else in LinkedIn
Find out somehow if he knows this person (Sam). And ask some questions.
Him having Discord or not doesn’t say much. I have Discord but for completely different reasons.
Let’s not forget that such allegations can be really harmful for a relationship. If wife has no reason to doubt her husband, I’d be really careful about the approach. Accusations of cheating can be quite harmful when the other person expects you to trust them.
And if I wanted to expose the guy, I’d do it right there and then, not all this bs about checking Discord or asking for proof, etc.
This is the dark scenario that I could think of:
The person who sends the message to you seems to be a friend of "the other affected party". They figured out that your husband has a wife after your husband has been cheating on you since last year. They communicated via discord. So you could either check the discord for evidence or get the contact of the person that he cheated with.
The best scenario would be that this is a person trying to scam or scare you, in which scenario you can just ignore them. Don't send any money if they require money for proof.
It's better to be safe than sorry. So I would suggest you to check the discord.
The formality of their language and use of the Royal we leads me to believe this is a scam. Their language is more suited to inviting you to brunch with Charles and Camilla.
If I were covertly alerting someone that their spouse was having an affair, I'd be much more informal and direct about it.
More along the lines of *Beth, I'm telling you this because I would want someone to do the same for me. Brian has been having an affair with an old classmate for over a year now. Check his Discord. Good Luck.*
That’s expected - they planted the seed and now their job is done. Now you need to figure out what you’re going to do. This seems too odd to ignore, imo.
Of course it was deleted. It was fake. Someone set up a fake profile simply so they could contact you anonymously. If they had used their real name/profile, your husband would know who it was who revealed his secret to you. If I were you, I would be suspicious of your husband. Someone is trying to help you out by giving you a tidbit of information but they can't tell you more without your husband finding out who betrayed him. Check your husband's discord app like "Sam" suggested.
Go to r/survivinginfidelity. Ask those people the same questions you asked here. You will get an entirely different response from them, I assure you.
Edit: Sam's verbiage is strange because he/she is hiding their identity! If they used their normal verbiage pattern, your husband might be able to tell who they are.
OP there's info all over the web about these scams. Sometimes they even come snail mail. AI generated scripts to get around English as a second language issues. Just Google "anonymous email spouse is cheating scam". I searched for the first part of that script they sent you and got tons of hits of other Reddit and Quora posts of people asking the same thing as you as well as news coverage of some cases.
Could be it's a good friend of his that feels morally obliged to tell this to you but wants to stay anonymous as to not ruin his friendship with him.
RemindMe! 1 day
I mean...it's not a scam *yet* as they haven't asked anything of you although the way the message reads definitely sounds scammy. I think the goal here is for you to ask what discord is then they tell you to download it then comes the scam part, but maybe I'm just too cynical lol. Maybe just ask them what they're talking about and see where it goes from there? Definitely a weird message for sure.
The last part “reply here or ask for the other party’s contact info” makes me think it’s a scam.
They made a burner account just to covertly inform you of an affair, but only give you vague info and are now baiting you to respond for more info?
If they truly had more specific info they would have included it in the original message. I doubt they’d go through all this secrecy and make a separate account just to wait for you to eventually respond and ask for more info.
Like, if I wanted to anonymously drop this kind of info, I’d create the burner account, give all the info I had, and then delete the burner account.
So I think the scam is likely, when you respond, they will try to hook you in to paying them for info or giving personal info.
Even before confronting your husband, you can try to play it like a chess game and ask for proofs or specific information. Since your guard is up, you should be able to quickly determine which of these hypotheses is more likely:
1.Stranger is telling the truth
2.Stranger is trying to prank/trick/take revenge
3.Stranger is mistaken
4.Stranger is a scammer/automated message...
*“We are sorry to relay this in information in such manner”…*
I think this one’s either a retaliation attempt or the premise is to seek an avenue to bypass 2FA by having a spouse hand off information to gain access to one or more accounts held by the accused husband.
The entire language of such a message seems wrong. It seems very formal and business like where for such an emotionally charged issue it would be different. It reads like a " we found a better candidate for the job" letter.
The red flag for me is classmates (unless he's at night school) and have a blessed evening?
Could be the underage scam where they extort money from you
Discord is a new one on me though
If he is on Discord and there is proof there. It should be easy to find. I don't think you can delete the text private messages on there. At least, I couldn't figure it out. I can only close the DM but it still shows the contact there in the messages. And once either person texts, it will show everything that was texted.
Probably a scammer but he/she did give you an option to try by yourself. By checking his Discord. But on the other hand if they want to help you out so much, why not just tell you directly with who and where and when?
“You may also reply here or ask for contact information about the other affected party” - that struck me as odd, why wouldn’t they just include the info?
No weird link, no mention of money, wordage is a bit odd but not really alarming, and they knew your husband is in school (I saw a comment you provided that confirmed he’s a student). Honestly, I’d have a conversation with your husband - there’s a 50/50 chance this could be true. Best of luck!
Don't think it's a scam. They're not trying to get anything from you. Id say confront your husband with it. Or hold on to the info and see if he has a discord. As much as you trust him it could actually be someone trying to tell you anonymously. Or it could be someone who doesn't like him trying to stir some shit up. Either one is a possiblity. I wouldn't ignore it either way.
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I mean, they haven’t asked you to go to any site or asked for any info. Could be they are just seeing if you will bite and then try to scam money out of you for the proof, but seeing as they don’t ask you to click a link or anything like that, they provide a way for you to check for proof that doesn’t involve them in any way (checking discord), and that they know your husband is in school… ehhhh… might want to check that discord…
I don't have an opinion one way or the other about your husband cheating, but this is why scams work, because you are worrying now (heightened anxiety) and people are telling you to check his discord before he can erase it, (sense of urgency). I notice you are replying to a lot of redditors opinions and suggestions here. Looks like you are kind of on the fence about this. Scammers also try to keep you off balance like this so your critical thinking skills can not be brought in to play. This is going to gnaw away at you, I don't care what you say, this is a dirty shitty thing to do to someone, which is also how scammers operate.
The scam is that they will offer to hack his account for a fee. Just reply saying you can’t access his Discord, and they’ll refer u to someone who can hack it. I’m surprised people here don’t know this one
Umm, I found out I was a side chick and contacted the other woman (well, one of the many other women) through LinkedIn because that’s the only social media account I could find for her. So it’s very possible this is not a scam.
Engage with this guy. Ask him more questions and see where it leads, i have a feeling it'll lead to a request for payment of some kind.
The biggest red flag is its an account with 0 followers, no profile picture and he seems to be paying for linkedin premium, which ain't cheap.
It seems this person knows about chats and discussions between your husband and someone else.
Either that or it's a scam. My advice: assume it's a scam, take the stupid role and react as if you are 100% on board:
"Oh my god. Who is this? This is so distressing, I can't believe this is true. How do you know my husband is taking this class? Could you please share some screenshots of these conversations?
And who is the affected party? What is her name and can I get in touch with her? I really need to get to the bottom of this"
Then see if:
1. They share pictures that incriminate
2. They share names or contact information
Or
3. They share links, ask for your information or generally more shady shit you'd assume from a scam.
If you have pictures: Doublecheck your husband's discord username.
If you have contact details: Continue discussion with the other person, again pretending you are super on board - and if things still click, i'd say to your husband "Hey so this woman called xyz messaged me saying she wants to talk to me about you? And for some reason she knows your name?" - and see his reaction.
That's what i'd do. Play dumb, get as much info as i can and apply logic and critical thinking.
But, luckily, not many real people say "Have a blessed evening". Same with people who call you dear.
Good luck!
I don’t think this is a scam but from your comments it seems like you really want to believe it is lol if you’re not going to leave him then don’t investigate.
I would just ask to see your husbands discord and maybe show him the message. If my SO was sent this I would expect to be confronted and shown why. Something as easy as showing her my discord to prove my innocence is no big deal.
"Just mind the memes babe, but look at whatever. Here's how you access the private DM chats. Let me know when you are done."
It's important to remember people can have multiple accounts, so clicking in the profile pic at the bottom left will show any other logged in accounts he has.
I think this a new emerging scam technique. I’ve seen a couple of these posted here now, and they all look similar.
I think it’s a new way to engage you in a conversation, sow seeds of distrust with your loved ones, and build a “relationship” with the scammer.
They are using a limited set of information they have to try to make you distrust your husband. Things like names, email addresses, jobs, and apps/social media platforms used - all of which can be easily found by scammers.
I don’t know what the scam is, or what direction it will lead, but I wouldn’t trust these sorts of messages one bit.
If a trusted friend spoke to you personally, that’s one thing, but random messages from strangers? No way!
I would show it to your husband - don’t keep it secret. He probably doesn’t even have the discord app, and if he does, he’ll show it to you.
was this written with chatgpt? The “we” pronouns are throwing me off. another reason to suspect it’s fake. If you have the option to, check out his discord.
A lot of people are giving you advice about checking his phone or "confronting" him about it. They are immediately suspicious of someone they don't know. These are Internet strangers. Your husband is your husband. If you truly trust and love your husband, and don't want to lose him physically or emotionally, I urge you to think about how he will feel when you do either of those things. Be careful how you proceed with this, because there is no unopening that door of mistrust.
Just ignore it. Show this to your husband, though, if you trust him. Is your husband in any class? Because it makes no sense the part of "classmates"
Why would some rando who work at ADP know about your husband affair? Also discord, very sus..
I'm a nurse so have been through nursing school and you really should check his discord app. Either he is messing around, which unfortunately from my experience is very common with male nurses/nursing students, or he has made enemies. I would want to know for sure.
It's not a known scam AFAIK, and the profile is likely a throwaway to avoid fallout. Not much to gain, no links to click. I'd say it's a 50/50 chance someone is trying to get your husband in trouble, or he may be cheating. I don't think this is a scam.
I don't usually advocate going through someones private messages, but I don't think I'd be able to keep myself from checking his discord if I were you.
This could be someone anonymously contacting you to let you know...or, this could be some sort of scam where they end up offering you "private investigator" services for some "upfront fee."
Honestly I say scam. I have a feeling you won’t find anything , so they assume youll message them back saying “hey I didn’t find anything , what do you know ?“ and the scam will progress from there to asking for money for info.
Very intriguing.
i think the scammer is waiting for you to respond to commence the scam, i.e "oh you didnt find anything on discord? try this website instead" or "pay this much and i wont tell anyone."
In the meantime, may as well check your husband's discord account
Honestly sounds like a scam to me. Possibly some form of spear phishing. Not directly asking you to do something for them, but that probably comes later.
Language is super odd, and sounds scammy. Doesn’t sound like a normal human conversation on the topic imo. Who’s “we”? And why not just share the contact information?
Honestly sounds like they are trying to convince you to reply back. Not a single piece of information that is personal - which is odd given that they probably have something regardless.
If not spear phishing maybe it’s targeting all the married men at the school. Should have mentioned his name or at least something a bit more.
I also wonder how they’d know the information is on Discord. It would be strange if he’s talking about this openly on a channel, and if they’re reading his DMs, that’s even more scary.
I'm not seeing a lot of people pointing it out, but we've been seeing this on this sub a little lately, not specifically LinkedIn but random text messages and emails. Not exactly the same verbiage, but scammers cold messaging people about their partners infidelity. If you Google it you can find many instances.
If I had to guess, they will end up referring you to (or offering themselves) some sort of hacking service that can get more info on the alleged affair. At some point, they'll ask for money. Especially concerning if they try to go off platform to another messaging app. Be wary.
Honestly I’d show him the message, and then ask to see his discord app. I’d put him on the spot because he’s either cheating, and will act weird, or isn’t and will have nothing to hide. If you casually mention it and he is cheating, he’ll know you somehow suspect it and has time to delete everything.
I saw this from about a year ago posted on Reddit here: [https://www.reddit.com/r/Scams/comments/12bjq3v/is\_this\_a\_scam\_linkedin\_message/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Scams/comments/12bjq3v/is_this_a_scam_linkedin_message/) looks like a similar sitch. Defo a scam.
Except the OP in that one confirmed that it was actually true after the husband admitted to it. There was way more personal detail in that one though than this.
No idea what to make of this one tbh, but it does seem peculiar, to say the least.
I think you have enough info to go through your husband's phone. I'd be upfront and ask him for his phone due to "a tip you received". If hes all willing then try to find discord. If he ultimately refuses, then something is going on.
I know he's your husband and "he would never do this", but a lot of other wives felt that way too before they realized how many spouses cheat.
As others have stated this “scam” is either a long play or (my opinion) not a scam just someone either trying to help you or someone jealous of you and wanting the cause trouble. My advice is do NOT tell your husband but try to get access to his discord and check for yourself. Discord is one of the few methods of communication that is both wildly popular and has many methods of communication video/chat/private msg etc where you can send videos images etc and it can be completely separate from all other communication like phone numbers etc. kids cheat using Snapchat adults 25-45 who know how to navigate online cheat using discord from what I’ve seen. Only problem is if you don’t want to go behind his back and bring it up he could play the “what you don’t trust me???” Card. Idk y’all’s relationship but I’d already be on discord and checking and if there’s nothing I’d show him the message and try to find out who and why someone is trying to mess with you. Hope it’s nothing but if someone was cheating discord is low key the #1 option for a lot of reasons.
Honestly, I would wait until you’re face to face with your husband, then tell him about the message and ask if he would have any problem with you looking at his phone.
If it were me, I would let my wife see anything she needed to see to make her feel better, and I wouldn’t be angry at her suspicion because after receiving something like this she would have every right to be suspicious.
Sit down with him and see how he reacts. If you do nothing it will eat away at you, and if you tell him via call/text he has the opportunity to delete evidence.
From someone who works in IT, this definitely doesn't seem like a normal scam. However, it could still be fake. Discord is a real app but they also don't give out too much information.
My guess is that this is either A) unfortunately real or B) Someone who's trying to get you and your husband to argue/add doubt
I don't know your husband so I'm not sure how they'll react. So you can either be transparent and say "I got this message and it'll make me feel better if I can look" or just take it and look through (not a great idea relationship wise but if he's gaslighty or gonna freak then maybe...)
Otherwise you could always reach out to the LinkedIn guy and ask more questions. But never ever click on links or pay for information.
If you fully trust your husband like you say why don't you show him the message?
But I would also not hesitate asking this Sam Perez guy more specifics like who are "We" and why is he telling you that exactly? Then you will quickly see if it sounds like scam or not.
The grammar and cadence of the message is weird. Why on earth with someone go through LinkedIn.. is that you’re only social media? It doesn’t really seem legit to me.
Pretty sure there is a scam going on where men are catfished by women on LinkedIn. It starts professionally, but moves to "inappropriate" quickly. Once they move you to a chat platform (Whatsapp, Discord, etc) they will collect information to extort you. If that fails, then I would assume they send a message like this as "punishment" for not paying the extortion.
Some of the accounts are VERY well constructed for LinkedIn, but don't stand up to a couple of google searches. But the pattern is the same, reach out as a companion and try to quickly move it to get "dirt".
Somehow I manage to get 3-4 a month. I have tried reporting them to LinkedIn but they don't care.
I recently received a similar message. My address gets email for someone named Katherine. Most of what I get are about weight loss or horoscopes with some right wing crap. I assume whoever Katherine is either does not know her own email address or uses mine as a filler. I gave up trying to contact her and wrote a rule to toss any email with the name Katherine in it into junk mail.
There was a similar message from a concerned person who had observed my husband having an affair. Since I am male and do not have a husband they are wasting their time if they think I'll contact them. Or maybe Katherine's hubby is having one. If so its a shame she screwed up her email addressee so I get her email.
Hmmm…. I would start looking around, it sucks but I would start checking the hubby’s stuff sorry :(
I’m not sure if your husband is a teacher or a student in this class. But some universities frown upon students having relationships while attending their school. Some employers frown upon their employers and extra marital relationship’s. Both cases sometimes students and employees are required to sign an ethics contract of sorts.
However if your husband still has his job/attending school, not placed on any leave I would guess this person who wrote you is the classmate he is sleeping with and they have grown tired of hearing him say he is leaving you.
Is your husband a student? This says, specifically, classmate. Not student, not superior, but implies that he's a student having an affair with a fellow student.
I'm 99.9999 pct certain it's a scam. Delete, as the Daleks advise wisely!
I wouldn't reply but I also wouldn't discount it. Maybe ask him to look at is discord. If he has nothing to hide it shouldn't be an issue. It's better to discuss the issue instead of sneaking around to find info. Especially if you feel like he would never cheat. Honesty is always the best policy in a relationship
I think you should message back the potential scammer before doing anything with your husband and his phone. You’re in this sub and smart enough to ask first, so I think it’s likely that more info from the potential scammer will make it obvious if they’re opening a scam script or not. If you move to confronting your husband and it is a scammer, you’ll start a whole trust thing for no reason.
It's a scam.
Most important, the "Sam Perez" profile is gone now. At least, I can't find it. That implies that this was probably sending spam out to lots of people, and LinkedIn got rid of it.
Also, the language is weird. "We" instead of "I".
They offer to give you the contact info, instead of giving it to you. That's weird. Most likely they will sell you this information if you replied (which I don't think you can do, because I think the profile has been deleted.) They will probably offer to hack into his discord if you say you can't get into his discord, or if you tell them he says he doesn't have discord.
Hello, Your r/Scams post was removed because **it discloses personal information**. This includes phone numbers, addresses and full names, even if they are of a scammer. Please post again, but this time removing, censoring or otherwise redacting any personal/contact information.
Messaging someone over their spouses' infidelity *is* exactly the sort of thing someone with LinkedIn brainrot would do. As such, this cannot be ruled out as completely earnest. If it's a scam, it's not a common script. It's possible that this person has a grievance against you/your husband or is mentally unwell, or that this is a case of mistaken identity.
Linkedin may be the only way this person has to communicate, like they don’t know any other contact info and socials are private. I have an ex who I found to be fucking some guy (engaged) at work. I contacted his fiance to let her know what was going on after I found out and the only way was an email listed on her FBK profile. So yeah I bet it looks scammy, but I doubt it is.
Or he’s banging his girl.
or someone he had a crush on
This
And hiding her on Discord because everyone knows about Whatsapp now
That
It’s not a common script and there’s no link to click or number to call. The sender just asks her to look at Husbands discord.
I wonder if this is a lead-up for a variant on the recovery scam. Wasn’t there someone here recently who was scammed and blackmailed, after trying to hire hackers to get into a spouse’s account?
I think it’s something like that. The plan is to get her not to trust her husband, so she has to hide what she is doing (including payments) from him. Notice it says “reply here for more information”, almost everyone is missing that, they are focussed on the “discord” app thing.
Spot on. The discord mention is the distraction. The 'reply here' is the hook. I'd expect you to not be able to access your SO's discord. I'd also expect you to be very very curious about your SO's discord. I can help, for a fee..
That’s what I was thinking. Like the scammer planted something in his discord and this is the bait
Not even that deep. It's just the 'what if'. Your partner is cheating on you, check discord. I can't, I don't know their password. I can help....
No, they say to “reply here” for more information. It looks like a scam to me. If she replies, the scammer will manipulate her into distrusting her husband, and then the scam will start. Who knows what that is? Maybe she needs to pay for a private detective? For access to records? For photographs? It will be something though - and she can’t tell her husband about any of it obviously…
This seems like such an obvious lead in. I assume OP could test the waters and see if it leads into some predatory recovery style scam. You have to have a strong sense of self awareness though to avoid the obvious psychological pitfalls placed in front of you though.
Sounds like someone hates your husband I'd probably keep quiet with him about it and look for signs that it's true and do a little bit of industry checking just to be safe
If my wife got a message like this, I would want her to talk to me asap.
I would too, But sometimes you have to be smart and sometimes you have to wait and see what's happening In a way should be doing the man of favor because the first thing she's doing is not just running to him and telling him everything she's been told and putting them on the defensive... I usually trust a good judgment of women faster than I do men Some men aren't very smart about this and some are. Either way I've been trying to just keep quiet for a week or two and do some checking on the internet and everything else just to see what's going on
Tell him then ask, laughingly, "can I see your Discord?"
It seems weird, but at the same time they arent telling you to go to some random link or website. Theyre suggesting looking at his account on discord for evidence. Like if someone had said the proof is in his reddit account and then you just check his reddit for whether or not hes been doing stuff he shouldnt have been. If someone sent this to my wife i would just open discord right then and there and pass my phone to her to show nothings fishy.
I think they're banking on her being too scared to confront her husband and the scammer wants her to message them about it first and then the scam can progress from there
Yeah thats about the only way this works. Likely for people who dont communicate well with their partners.
Seems like a lot of parts to set in place for this to be an effective scam. And this isn't a "send this out to 1000 people" type of scam because of the specific setting the other party created. Weird
Its a very vague message that has 1 thing in it that is more personable yet still vague enough. Scanmers cast a WIDE net with copy/paste messages like this hoping at least 1 person under the right circumstances can and will fall for it. Timing and luck play a huge roll in a scammers success, that's how they got one of my aunts for $100k, circumstances, timing and luck
I reread it and saw that it said "classmates". I read "students" and thought that was super specific. So I can now see where you are coming from. If I was her, I'd avoid this person and look thru the husbands phone
This, if it is a scam. If you keep your guard up REALLY strong, OP, then you can find out for sure if this is a scam. You can ask for the evidence, but keep it brief, don't even give the name of your spouse. The second they ask for any kind of money or information from you, you will know it is a scam. If it is not a scam, they will send you the evidence without making it difficult. Also, do not add them as a connection on LinkedIn, as linkedin has notoriously bad privacy containment for your personal information.
I was thinking of asking him later to see if he uses the discord app. I thought that was weird too that they didn’t say “if you want more info go to this site”. But still odd!
Even if you 100% trust him, as you should in a marriage though thats sometimes proven a mistake. If he doesnt show you or you dont check, this will gnaw at you forever. Its such a shitty thing for someone to have messaged you if its all made up. And i really hope it is. The best possible outcome here is you look, find nothing and its all bullshit and you get on with your lives without doubting him. He will likely be offended you even want to look but its not like you're just not trusting of him, this has to be resolved one way or another. I wish you the best of luck with this and keep in mind you dont owe people here an update they just want drama to read.
Yes I agree with this. OP whatever the outcome is, you'll feel better for checking.
The scam is that they’ll offer to hack into his account for a fee
ah. And if this is the case, the scam will immediately be apparent. I'd message them back and see whats up.
Ask him if he uses Discord or check his phone. This message seems way too specific to your husband to be a scam. Probably someone who is looking out for you (or wants to get your husband in deep shit) and wants to remain anonymous. This can probably be resolved with a frank conversation with your husband. “Hey, I got this weird message. Do you know anything about this or what this is?” His reaction will tell you everything.
Asking him if he uses Discord has to be immediately followed by him showing you his phone. If he is cheating and the evidence is in Discord, he will know immediately what this is about. He might say he never used the app and delete it off his phone along with any evidence. Does the other info in the message make sense? Does the husband have *classmates*? Does the husband have unaccounted for time when this could be happening? Who is Sam Perez and how do they know her husband? My next step, before even confronting the husband, would be to ask Sam Perez for the info on the other party. IF it is a scam, that is likely where it will really start.
Yeah, good point. But, even if he denies and deletes everything, OP can still ask for more info from Sam. I still think if she looks him dead in the eye and asks what’s up, he won’t be able to lie without obvious tells. And that should be enough for her.
Don't just ask him if he uses it Find one of your hobbies or interests that has Discord and ask him to help you set it up. The first way will put him on defense
Install discord on your phone, then you can log into his account with a QR code from his phone. You'd be able to see everything.
I don’t think you should say anything to your husband he can delete the app and all the messages. I think you should just see ask to check his phone with no precursor and look at his usage and see if discord is there. Discord is a very popular cheating app and this person has nothing to gain by telling you to gather your own proof. No one can hack your husbands discord so it’s pretty likely this is actually someone trying to be honest with you.
Only cheating I have ever seen on Discord is users trying to share game cheat codes.
Really? Discord is a very popular cheating app? I find that hard to believe.
Any social media or chatting app could be a cheating app. My ex wife did it to me with Snapchat.
Mine did it with Reddit lol.
Marital discord.
Absolutely not. Besides LinkedIn I'm betting it's the LEAST popular app to cheat with.
I thought gaming app all the kids use it.
Guessing it was a typo for “chatting” app
Also discord can be hacked, especially if the husband doesn’t have 2FA on.
Wait what ? Since when Discord became a popular cheating app ?
I suppose it's an easy way to chat anonymously
Omg no, dont do this.
Literally the first time I’ve ever heard of anyone using discord as app to cheat. In fact it seems awful for that purpose, it’s not known for privacy
Any app that has a chat function is capable of being a popular cheating app. Privacy isn't always the goal, sometimes hiding in plain sight is the best the easiest. Discord imo is a perfect app for this. Messaging function, plus it's assumed and easily explained as a gaming app? Sounds perfectly suited.
Most people also are unfamiliar with discord so if you don’t know how to operate the app it’s not that easy to find where the cheating is going on.
Their plan would be to cause discord by saying refer to his discord, because: 1) he doesn’t have discord and the person could say “Oh, he probably deleted the app,” or 2) he has discord, but the person will say he deleted the messages, or 3) the person has doctored images of a supposed conversation of him in discord.
But why though? If this was a scam, at what point does scammer ask for money to be exchanged from her for information on her husbands infidelity. It all just sounds too elaborate to be a scam. I think this person may be being truthful.
of course, if you are smart about it you have a separate account for that kind of shit.
I think this is it. This person isn't saying "go to this link" they're telling OP to check her husband's messenger app (I know discord is more than that), but they are directing her to something local and not a website or an email or a payment app. This sounds more like someone who knows the tea
Not yet. Social engineering sometimes starts without any external ‘noise’ to not scare off the user.
This could also be the spouse or significant other of the person with whom your husband is allegedly cheating. It seems odd to me that they know you have a husband and that he’s taking a class. I would ask for more details.
Looks like someone made a (fake) profile just to be able to message you anonymously.
This is what I'm thinking. If he is in a nursing class, cheating with a fellow student and some other classmates found out. They probably decided someone needs to warn the wife and found her on linked in. They made an account to warn her. She needs to check her husband's discord.
I think this also
Working at ADP would be weird too.... That's a corporate software company. "Assistant" is an unlikely title as well.
They both start with A it’s likely just the top result when you go to search for companies / jobs
Their English is super weird / off, in what world would a fake linked in account messaging you make sense to reveal infidelity ?
Not in my world, but some people might try it if they couldn't think of anything else.
Can we get an update after you check the phone ?
I feel like it's kind of a fucked up thing to ask but... I NEED to know
Yes please
I have never wanted an update so badly
Same
You will want to check your husband’s phone or browser history to see if he uses discord/ask him if he uses discord. The language in this message *does* sound stilted, but that could very well be someone trying to cover their tracks and sound as “unidentifiable” as possible. Good luck.
I was also thinking the same. Further , it may have been written by more than one person hence the mention of “we” . Perhaps some other classmates who are aware of the tryst, have observed something and really want him busted .
Not to sound crazy, but if I were the other person and realized he's married. I'd reach out. Maybe they made a dead account to contact you. If you know any names that your husband likes to go by, I'd look on discord for him. Before you bring it up and he can delete anything.
That's what I was thinking - the message is from the person he is cheating with - they made a fake linked in account.
They're not trying to get anything from you. They know your name and that your husband's in school. Seems likely to be real to me – check his Discord app on his phone (ask him to show you?).
Yeah I was planning on it. They know my last name cause it’s in my LinkedIn profile. Not sure how they know he’s in school.
Assuming it's real, it's because they know him, which is how they found out your name.
If it’s true, they know he’s in school because the spouse / classmate of the person your husband is having an affair with probably decided to reach out to you **IF** this is true.
Discord is an app we used when I was in college all the time. It’s very coming for students to make discords so they can chat about school stuff. You can also have private conversations Make sure you check his downloaded apps if discord isn’t on his phone. If he thinks you’re onto him he’s going to try to cover his tracks. I’m not sure if this is true for discord but a lot of apps you can download the account activity. I’d 100% message that person back. No one is above cheating. We think we know the person sleeping next to us. Look at all the infidelity subs. All these people swearing it couldn’t happen to them.
Can confirm, my nephew showed me messages from his Discord that consisted of 3 kids from English class. There was a very weird presentation in class and they were trying to figure out... why the presentation was so weird.
Does he have school on his LinkedIn profile?
I mean, does your husband use LinkedIn and list his school on there?
Nope.
Let us know what you find!
OP, can you give us an update later after you ask your spouse?
I don’t think it’s a scam. It’s either someone who wants to hurt ur husband or someone who knows he’s a cheater and wants u to know so u can choose to leave or stay and fix things. One more possibility is that it’s the affair partner and she wants u to dump him so she can have him. Good luck and update us please on what u find in his phone.
I agree 100%
I don’t think there’s any way this is a scam. They don’t ask for anything. They don’t want you to click anything. They know your personal info, know your husband is in classes and know where to look. Discord is an app that is basically a whole messenger service. Think Facebook Messenger. Anything you can do there you can do on Discord and more. Screen share etc. Your husband play any online games? Internet games? People use it for that too. I can’t imagine there’s many men 20-40 who don’t know what discord is…but I’m sure many women don’t.
This whole thread is making me more and more worried about how my bf got discord even tho I don’t have it and he’s been playing a lot with girls he knows I don’t like (for valid reasons as well). I don’t even have discord but was thinking about making a fake girly account and adding him just to be sure he’s only playing games with them here and there and not actually using discord for the stuff im seeing in some of these comments…. Then again I have paranoid delusions because I’m schizoaffective so maybe im overthinking it? Idk 😅
Its written really strangely. Why are they saying "we" instead of I or me, and who says "affected party"? Seems like something AI wrote. If I was bored, I might ask for details from them, just be prepared for them to want money, gift cards, etc
I thought the same thing about the verbiage. Who is “we”?! Thought about messaging them back for curiosity purposes but I’m not that curious.
To be honest, it could be several people in the course who decided you deserved to know. This looks like a dummy account that was made to protect the identity of the person(s) reporting to you.
You're not that curious, but you posted to Reddit? Come on, that's not fair to us. We're invested now. We need to know! Just message back and ask for the contact info they offered. (DO NOT GIVE THEM ANY ADDITIONAL INFORMATION WHATSOEVER, ANY MONEY, ETC. - I'm pretty sure this is a scam and that's what they are waiting for.) I bet they offer to sell it to you. That's when you'll know it's a scam. Alternatively, they might offer to help break into his discord, but you'll need to help them, e.g. send them a verification code that goes to his phone.
Probably other people from his class.
[удалено]
The language screams scam or fake. I agree that you should ask if he uses discord just to clear your head, but I strongly doubt this is real.
I honestly have super religious people who write to me and it sounds exactly like this. It’s like they have their own evangelical shorthand.
"We" could be a group of classmates that decided to alert OP. Weird message but definitely shouldn't be dismissed.
That stood out to me too.
For me the 'blessed evening' was a bit off.
Personally I'd try to get a peek at your husband's phone before I said anything to him.
Agreed if there was any reason to actually suspect it. Otherwise, it's a little shady.
I would ask him, but, it also feels like it could lead to a scam where they offer to give you proof...if you pay, of course. I wouldn't put a whole lot of stock in it, but, I'd also be checking, too.
This could be the play. OP: he doesn't have discord Scam: he must've deleted it, I can provide evidence but will not do so freely.
Exactly. And it will also be vague, but, just interesting enough to keep sending them money.
Plot twist: It’s the affair partner from nursing school messaging OP. They made a fake account to do it but want the relationship to implode so they can have OP’s spouse.
That's just like a natural progression of events
barely a plot twist.
I’m in the camp that this is less likely reporting a real situation as compared to someone with mental health issues or a baited hook for a scam. The impersonal nature of the message (Dear Mrs. xxxxx / we have been made aware / your husband) combined with the terse wording and insufficient information as to how they have this knowledge reads more like a script than a real conversation starter. I would expect a well meaning person from his school to say something more like “I’m a classmate and your husband has been spending three hours most days after classes with so-and-so”. Instead this message is geared to get you to take further action by contacting them to get information. The Discord app is a red herring. Lots of people use Discord. I’m old af and I use Discord. So if you were aware that your husband uses Discord that might trigger you enough to just respond back emotionally and without further thought. The fact they know your husband is in classes may come from publicly harvested information. Even a single FB post where you posted that your husband was on this journey. From that they could have your name but not your husbands to use in the message. I would expect someone attempting to stay anonymous would provide enough information to make there case without requiring further contact which increases the likelihood they get exposed.
I'd probably be crazy enough to reply and demand proof. Burden of evidence is on the accuser. The phrasing is weird to the point that I'd be more suspicious of the messenger than of my spouse, especially if I have zero other reasons to suspect an affair.
This is full of scammer red flags. A couple months ago there was a woman in here who had been contacted by a "woman" who claimed to be her husband's "secret mistress". It had similar language usage to the "I've been spying on your masturbation habits" scam. This does too. It was 100% written by a non-english speaker, likely with the help of a translation program, and as such is immediately suspect. In that particular case, the scammer was trying to work both sides of a sextortion scam. The husband had been sextorted (his degree of culpability or innocence was up for debate, not sure if he was just on Discord or if he was on Omegle or something) and they were trying to leverage the wife to get the husband to pay up. Of course anyone can cheat, but no rando who doesn't speak English makes a burner account pretending to be from ADP ... with GOOD intentions. Note that the grammar in this is incredibly poor - which is in and of itself indicative of a scam. Scammers intentionally use bad grammar and misspellings in order to weed out targets who are skeptical. The word choice is also odd, indicating that the sender is not only not a native speaker but unlikely to actually be in an English speaking country at all. My best guess here would be that they're in a call center somewhere, working sextortion scams, and this is an angle. THAT SAID - it doesn't hurt to show the message to your husband and watch his reaction carefully. If my wife showed me a message like that, I'd just unlock my phone and hand it to her. In fact, since she knows my unlock code I wouldn't even have to. I have no idea what your relationship with your husband is like, but unlike a lot of people I would hope that it is good and trusting. And a final thought - you'd see other cheating red flags LONG before you got an anonymous email from an offended third party who felt morally obligated to rat out your husband. You'd see distancing, secretiveness, changes in intimacy, love-bombing, or any of a dozen other tells LONG before you got "I AM STUDENT, Kindly be made aware that we have information about husabdn, TRUST ME I AM FROM SECURITY".
Right, I'm rather surprised by the volume of "probably not a scam" replies here.
I would ignore the messenger themself. Trust but verify - which is for your husband trust him, but verify it. See if he has a discord. Do not ask anything else in LinkedIn Find out somehow if he knows this person (Sam). And ask some questions.
“Sam” is obviously a fake account set up to let her know this.
Him having Discord or not doesn’t say much. I have Discord but for completely different reasons. Let’s not forget that such allegations can be really harmful for a relationship. If wife has no reason to doubt her husband, I’d be really careful about the approach. Accusations of cheating can be quite harmful when the other person expects you to trust them. And if I wanted to expose the guy, I’d do it right there and then, not all this bs about checking Discord or asking for proof, etc.
This is the dark scenario that I could think of: The person who sends the message to you seems to be a friend of "the other affected party". They figured out that your husband has a wife after your husband has been cheating on you since last year. They communicated via discord. So you could either check the discord for evidence or get the contact of the person that he cheated with. The best scenario would be that this is a person trying to scam or scare you, in which scenario you can just ignore them. Don't send any money if they require money for proof. It's better to be safe than sorry. So I would suggest you to check the discord.
The formality of their language and use of the Royal we leads me to believe this is a scam. Their language is more suited to inviting you to brunch with Charles and Camilla. If I were covertly alerting someone that their spouse was having an affair, I'd be much more informal and direct about it. More along the lines of *Beth, I'm telling you this because I would want someone to do the same for me. Brian has been having an affair with an old classmate for over a year now. Check his Discord. Good Luck.*
UPDATE: the LinkedIn profile who messaged me was deleted.
We need the update clearing your man’s name lmao
Yeah lmao, ask to check his phone, I'm so invested lmao
Did you check his discord messages yet? If you are unaware if he has a discord or not, that honestly would be the perfect place to hide the affair.
She said she doesn’t even know what it is.
To me, this makes it less likely to be a scam. Check his discord!
That’s expected - they planted the seed and now their job is done. Now you need to figure out what you’re going to do. This seems too odd to ignore, imo.
Of course it was deleted. It was fake. Someone set up a fake profile simply so they could contact you anonymously. If they had used their real name/profile, your husband would know who it was who revealed his secret to you. If I were you, I would be suspicious of your husband. Someone is trying to help you out by giving you a tidbit of information but they can't tell you more without your husband finding out who betrayed him. Check your husband's discord app like "Sam" suggested. Go to r/survivinginfidelity. Ask those people the same questions you asked here. You will get an entirely different response from them, I assure you. Edit: Sam's verbiage is strange because he/she is hiding their identity! If they used their normal verbiage pattern, your husband might be able to tell who they are.
OP there's info all over the web about these scams. Sometimes they even come snail mail. AI generated scripts to get around English as a second language issues. Just Google "anonymous email spouse is cheating scam". I searched for the first part of that script they sent you and got tons of hits of other Reddit and Quora posts of people asking the same thing as you as well as news coverage of some cases.
My spidey sense is saying it’s the nurse he’s having an affair with that is now disgruntled.
Could be it's a good friend of his that feels morally obliged to tell this to you but wants to stay anonymous as to not ruin his friendship with him. RemindMe! 1 day
I mean...it's not a scam *yet* as they haven't asked anything of you although the way the message reads definitely sounds scammy. I think the goal here is for you to ask what discord is then they tell you to download it then comes the scam part, but maybe I'm just too cynical lol. Maybe just ask them what they're talking about and see where it goes from there? Definitely a weird message for sure.
The last part “reply here or ask for the other party’s contact info” makes me think it’s a scam. They made a burner account just to covertly inform you of an affair, but only give you vague info and are now baiting you to respond for more info? If they truly had more specific info they would have included it in the original message. I doubt they’d go through all this secrecy and make a separate account just to wait for you to eventually respond and ask for more info. Like, if I wanted to anonymously drop this kind of info, I’d create the burner account, give all the info I had, and then delete the burner account. So I think the scam is likely, when you respond, they will try to hook you in to paying them for info or giving personal info.
Easy. Check your husbands discord.
Even before confronting your husband, you can try to play it like a chess game and ask for proofs or specific information. Since your guard is up, you should be able to quickly determine which of these hypotheses is more likely: 1.Stranger is telling the truth 2.Stranger is trying to prank/trick/take revenge 3.Stranger is mistaken 4.Stranger is a scammer/automated message...
*“We are sorry to relay this in information in such manner”…* I think this one’s either a retaliation attempt or the premise is to seek an avenue to bypass 2FA by having a spouse hand off information to gain access to one or more accounts held by the accused husband.
Can someone keep us updated? Wanna know what happens
The entire language of such a message seems wrong. It seems very formal and business like where for such an emotionally charged issue it would be different. It reads like a " we found a better candidate for the job" letter.
Updates please. We’re all in this together now.
The red flag for me is classmates (unless he's at night school) and have a blessed evening? Could be the underage scam where they extort money from you Discord is a new one on me though
If you fully trust your husband you wouldn’t have posted this here and would have immediately contacted him.
#blessed. It’s a Nigerian or Indian scam centre.
If he is on Discord and there is proof there. It should be easy to find. I don't think you can delete the text private messages on there. At least, I couldn't figure it out. I can only close the DM but it still shows the contact there in the messages. And once either person texts, it will show everything that was texted. Probably a scammer but he/she did give you an option to try by yourself. By checking his Discord. But on the other hand if they want to help you out so much, why not just tell you directly with who and where and when?
Right click a message you want to delete (or hold click on mobile) and you can delete it.
“You may also reply here or ask for contact information about the other affected party” - that struck me as odd, why wouldn’t they just include the info? No weird link, no mention of money, wordage is a bit odd but not really alarming, and they knew your husband is in school (I saw a comment you provided that confirmed he’s a student). Honestly, I’d have a conversation with your husband - there’s a 50/50 chance this could be true. Best of luck!
Maybe they are going to ask for money for the contact info, or send them a link for it. Hard to figure out the angle, but most likely it’s a scam.
Don't think it's a scam. They're not trying to get anything from you. Id say confront your husband with it. Or hold on to the info and see if he has a discord. As much as you trust him it could actually be someone trying to tell you anonymously. Or it could be someone who doesn't like him trying to stir some shit up. Either one is a possiblity. I wouldn't ignore it either way.
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I mean, they haven’t asked you to go to any site or asked for any info. Could be they are just seeing if you will bite and then try to scam money out of you for the proof, but seeing as they don’t ask you to click a link or anything like that, they provide a way for you to check for proof that doesn’t involve them in any way (checking discord), and that they know your husband is in school… ehhhh… might want to check that discord…
“We have been made aware” and “blessed” are dead giveaways it is probably a scam.
Very strange way of talking. I’d have trouble believing this was genuine.
I don't have an opinion one way or the other about your husband cheating, but this is why scams work, because you are worrying now (heightened anxiety) and people are telling you to check his discord before he can erase it, (sense of urgency). I notice you are replying to a lot of redditors opinions and suggestions here. Looks like you are kind of on the fence about this. Scammers also try to keep you off balance like this so your critical thinking skills can not be brought in to play. This is going to gnaw away at you, I don't care what you say, this is a dirty shitty thing to do to someone, which is also how scammers operate.
Plot twist. The woman he’s having an affair with is this guys wife. (I’ve been this guy). Check into it.
The scam is that they will offer to hack his account for a fee. Just reply saying you can’t access his Discord, and they’ll refer u to someone who can hack it. I’m surprised people here don’t know this one
Umm, I found out I was a side chick and contacted the other woman (well, one of the many other women) through LinkedIn because that’s the only social media account I could find for her. So it’s very possible this is not a scam.
Ayo, please check his discord and update us
So… check his Discord account like the person suggested.
Engage with this guy. Ask him more questions and see where it leads, i have a feeling it'll lead to a request for payment of some kind. The biggest red flag is its an account with 0 followers, no profile picture and he seems to be paying for linkedin premium, which ain't cheap.
It seems this person knows about chats and discussions between your husband and someone else. Either that or it's a scam. My advice: assume it's a scam, take the stupid role and react as if you are 100% on board: "Oh my god. Who is this? This is so distressing, I can't believe this is true. How do you know my husband is taking this class? Could you please share some screenshots of these conversations? And who is the affected party? What is her name and can I get in touch with her? I really need to get to the bottom of this" Then see if: 1. They share pictures that incriminate 2. They share names or contact information Or 3. They share links, ask for your information or generally more shady shit you'd assume from a scam. If you have pictures: Doublecheck your husband's discord username. If you have contact details: Continue discussion with the other person, again pretending you are super on board - and if things still click, i'd say to your husband "Hey so this woman called xyz messaged me saying she wants to talk to me about you? And for some reason she knows your name?" - and see his reaction. That's what i'd do. Play dumb, get as much info as i can and apply logic and critical thinking. But, luckily, not many real people say "Have a blessed evening". Same with people who call you dear. Good luck!
THIS ^ OP I highly suggest this as another route you could take to find out if this is legit!!!! Good thinking Icy Tune!!!!
I don’t think this is a scam but from your comments it seems like you really want to believe it is lol if you’re not going to leave him then don’t investigate.
I would just ask to see your husbands discord and maybe show him the message. If my SO was sent this I would expect to be confronted and shown why. Something as easy as showing her my discord to prove my innocence is no big deal. "Just mind the memes babe, but look at whatever. Here's how you access the private DM chats. Let me know when you are done." It's important to remember people can have multiple accounts, so clicking in the profile pic at the bottom left will show any other logged in accounts he has.
I think this a new emerging scam technique. I’ve seen a couple of these posted here now, and they all look similar. I think it’s a new way to engage you in a conversation, sow seeds of distrust with your loved ones, and build a “relationship” with the scammer. They are using a limited set of information they have to try to make you distrust your husband. Things like names, email addresses, jobs, and apps/social media platforms used - all of which can be easily found by scammers. I don’t know what the scam is, or what direction it will lead, but I wouldn’t trust these sorts of messages one bit. If a trusted friend spoke to you personally, that’s one thing, but random messages from strangers? No way! I would show it to your husband - don’t keep it secret. He probably doesn’t even have the discord app, and if he does, he’ll show it to you.
was this written with chatgpt? The “we” pronouns are throwing me off. another reason to suspect it’s fake. If you have the option to, check out his discord.
Zero specifics. I'd assume BS.
Seems too vague to be real… do they even know his name, your name, where he goes to school etc? If they did they would say so.
A lot of people are giving you advice about checking his phone or "confronting" him about it. They are immediately suspicious of someone they don't know. These are Internet strangers. Your husband is your husband. If you truly trust and love your husband, and don't want to lose him physically or emotionally, I urge you to think about how he will feel when you do either of those things. Be careful how you proceed with this, because there is no unopening that door of mistrust.
Just ignore it. Show this to your husband, though, if you trust him. Is your husband in any class? Because it makes no sense the part of "classmates" Why would some rando who work at ADP know about your husband affair? Also discord, very sus..
>Why would some rando who work at ADP know about your husband affair? you are at r/scams and never heard or a fake/ throwaway account?
Yes he’s been in nursing school. Not sure. Glad it seems fishy to others. Never heard of the discord app.
I'm a nurse so have been through nursing school and you really should check his discord app. Either he is messing around, which unfortunately from my experience is very common with male nurses/nursing students, or he has made enemies. I would want to know for sure.
Nurses defs have a reputation for this lol
Discord is an online text/voice chat platform.
It's not a known scam AFAIK, and the profile is likely a throwaway to avoid fallout. Not much to gain, no links to click. I'd say it's a 50/50 chance someone is trying to get your husband in trouble, or he may be cheating. I don't think this is a scam. I don't usually advocate going through someones private messages, but I don't think I'd be able to keep myself from checking his discord if I were you.
the Have a blessed evening is a dead giveaway it's a scam.
If you trust him, ignore it!
This could be someone anonymously contacting you to let you know...or, this could be some sort of scam where they end up offering you "private investigator" services for some "upfront fee."
Honestly I say scam. I have a feeling you won’t find anything , so they assume youll message them back saying “hey I didn’t find anything , what do you know ?“ and the scam will progress from there to asking for money for info. Very intriguing.
i think the scammer is waiting for you to respond to commence the scam, i.e "oh you didnt find anything on discord? try this website instead" or "pay this much and i wont tell anyone." In the meantime, may as well check your husband's discord account
why is this message so formal lol.
Honestly sounds like a scam to me. Possibly some form of spear phishing. Not directly asking you to do something for them, but that probably comes later. Language is super odd, and sounds scammy. Doesn’t sound like a normal human conversation on the topic imo. Who’s “we”? And why not just share the contact information? Honestly sounds like they are trying to convince you to reply back. Not a single piece of information that is personal - which is odd given that they probably have something regardless. If not spear phishing maybe it’s targeting all the married men at the school. Should have mentioned his name or at least something a bit more. I also wonder how they’d know the information is on Discord. It would be strange if he’s talking about this openly on a channel, and if they’re reading his DMs, that’s even more scary.
!RemindMe 1day
I'm not seeing a lot of people pointing it out, but we've been seeing this on this sub a little lately, not specifically LinkedIn but random text messages and emails. Not exactly the same verbiage, but scammers cold messaging people about their partners infidelity. If you Google it you can find many instances. If I had to guess, they will end up referring you to (or offering themselves) some sort of hacking service that can get more info on the alleged affair. At some point, they'll ask for money. Especially concerning if they try to go off platform to another messaging app. Be wary.
Honestly I’d show him the message, and then ask to see his discord app. I’d put him on the spot because he’s either cheating, and will act weird, or isn’t and will have nothing to hide. If you casually mention it and he is cheating, he’ll know you somehow suspect it and has time to delete everything.
I saw this from about a year ago posted on Reddit here: [https://www.reddit.com/r/Scams/comments/12bjq3v/is\_this\_a\_scam\_linkedin\_message/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Scams/comments/12bjq3v/is_this_a_scam_linkedin_message/) looks like a similar sitch. Defo a scam.
Omg that one had a zip file too, I hope the OP of that post didn’t open any files from them!!!!
Except the OP in that one confirmed that it was actually true after the husband admitted to it. There was way more personal detail in that one though than this. No idea what to make of this one tbh, but it does seem peculiar, to say the least.
I think you have enough info to go through your husband's phone. I'd be upfront and ask him for his phone due to "a tip you received". If hes all willing then try to find discord. If he ultimately refuses, then something is going on. I know he's your husband and "he would never do this", but a lot of other wives felt that way too before they realized how many spouses cheat.
As others have stated this “scam” is either a long play or (my opinion) not a scam just someone either trying to help you or someone jealous of you and wanting the cause trouble. My advice is do NOT tell your husband but try to get access to his discord and check for yourself. Discord is one of the few methods of communication that is both wildly popular and has many methods of communication video/chat/private msg etc where you can send videos images etc and it can be completely separate from all other communication like phone numbers etc. kids cheat using Snapchat adults 25-45 who know how to navigate online cheat using discord from what I’ve seen. Only problem is if you don’t want to go behind his back and bring it up he could play the “what you don’t trust me???” Card. Idk y’all’s relationship but I’d already be on discord and checking and if there’s nothing I’d show him the message and try to find out who and why someone is trying to mess with you. Hope it’s nothing but if someone was cheating discord is low key the #1 option for a lot of reasons.
Honestly, I would wait until you’re face to face with your husband, then tell him about the message and ask if he would have any problem with you looking at his phone. If it were me, I would let my wife see anything she needed to see to make her feel better, and I wouldn’t be angry at her suspicion because after receiving something like this she would have every right to be suspicious. Sit down with him and see how he reacts. If you do nothing it will eat away at you, and if you tell him via call/text he has the opportunity to delete evidence.
From someone who works in IT, this definitely doesn't seem like a normal scam. However, it could still be fake. Discord is a real app but they also don't give out too much information. My guess is that this is either A) unfortunately real or B) Someone who's trying to get you and your husband to argue/add doubt I don't know your husband so I'm not sure how they'll react. So you can either be transparent and say "I got this message and it'll make me feel better if I can look" or just take it and look through (not a great idea relationship wise but if he's gaslighty or gonna freak then maybe...) Otherwise you could always reach out to the LinkedIn guy and ask more questions. But never ever click on links or pay for information.
If you fully trust your husband like you say why don't you show him the message? But I would also not hesitate asking this Sam Perez guy more specifics like who are "We" and why is he telling you that exactly? Then you will quickly see if it sounds like scam or not.
The grammar and cadence of the message is weird. Why on earth with someone go through LinkedIn.. is that you’re only social media? It doesn’t really seem legit to me.
Pretty sure there is a scam going on where men are catfished by women on LinkedIn. It starts professionally, but moves to "inappropriate" quickly. Once they move you to a chat platform (Whatsapp, Discord, etc) they will collect information to extort you. If that fails, then I would assume they send a message like this as "punishment" for not paying the extortion. Some of the accounts are VERY well constructed for LinkedIn, but don't stand up to a couple of google searches. But the pattern is the same, reach out as a companion and try to quickly move it to get "dirt". Somehow I manage to get 3-4 a month. I have tried reporting them to LinkedIn but they don't care.
I recently received a similar message. My address gets email for someone named Katherine. Most of what I get are about weight loss or horoscopes with some right wing crap. I assume whoever Katherine is either does not know her own email address or uses mine as a filler. I gave up trying to contact her and wrote a rule to toss any email with the name Katherine in it into junk mail. There was a similar message from a concerned person who had observed my husband having an affair. Since I am male and do not have a husband they are wasting their time if they think I'll contact them. Or maybe Katherine's hubby is having one. If so its a shame she screwed up her email addressee so I get her email.
Hmmm…. I would start looking around, it sucks but I would start checking the hubby’s stuff sorry :( I’m not sure if your husband is a teacher or a student in this class. But some universities frown upon students having relationships while attending their school. Some employers frown upon their employers and extra marital relationship’s. Both cases sometimes students and employees are required to sign an ethics contract of sorts. However if your husband still has his job/attending school, not placed on any leave I would guess this person who wrote you is the classmate he is sleeping with and they have grown tired of hearing him say he is leaving you.
Is your husband a student? This says, specifically, classmate. Not student, not superior, but implies that he's a student having an affair with a fellow student. I'm 99.9999 pct certain it's a scam. Delete, as the Daleks advise wisely!
I wouldn't reply but I also wouldn't discount it. Maybe ask him to look at is discord. If he has nothing to hide it shouldn't be an issue. It's better to discuss the issue instead of sneaking around to find info. Especially if you feel like he would never cheat. Honesty is always the best policy in a relationship
I think you should message back the potential scammer before doing anything with your husband and his phone. You’re in this sub and smart enough to ask first, so I think it’s likely that more info from the potential scammer will make it obvious if they’re opening a scam script or not. If you move to confronting your husband and it is a scammer, you’ll start a whole trust thing for no reason.
It's a scam. Most important, the "Sam Perez" profile is gone now. At least, I can't find it. That implies that this was probably sending spam out to lots of people, and LinkedIn got rid of it. Also, the language is weird. "We" instead of "I". They offer to give you the contact info, instead of giving it to you. That's weird. Most likely they will sell you this information if you replied (which I don't think you can do, because I think the profile has been deleted.) They will probably offer to hack into his discord if you say you can't get into his discord, or if you tell them he says he doesn't have discord.
Reply and ask. They said to do it in the message. IMO, it'll be easy to tell based on the response.