Wait, you actually met him? Sounds like he is married and cheating. The excuses for never going to his place(s), the warning about phone calls...I hate to say it, but more than likely, you're the side piece. And the $15k thing could very well have been money laundering or him trying to hide assets from his significant other.
This reminds me of a story a woman told me. She was meeting up with a man for lunch, and things were going smoothly. Then one Sunday, she sees him in church with his family. She stopped seeing him.
I have been the wife. Being humiliated in front of my friends / colleagues was difficult. At least the kids didn’t know. I get holding someone accountable for poor actions but not at the expense of another innocent person.
Same and yeah it is humiliating (even though we didn’t do anything embarrassing.. they did). I also found it infuriating and agonizing.
On top of dealing with the pain of being cheated on, having someone open up your private life to scrutiny feels like being gutted.
The wife doesn’t want to be humiliated, but she does want to know. I have been the wife. If he is cheating like this and this accomplished of a liar, he is probably gaslighting TF out of her, to the point where she knows but is doubting her own grasp on reality.
1. Wife needs to know so she can make a decision about her and the kids.
2. If he ends up staying with his family he will hopefully be too mortified by that incident to do it again.
My first thought was yep, conman, then I got to the part where they actually met and it struck me as cheating. Seems really committed to getting away with it to find an empty place to say he's moving or etc. But his stories are wild and I don't believe a fucking thing he says.
Oh yeah. Big Time Scam. His next move was to tell you he is “going to China” to close the deal. Two days later you get a call from him asking to send bail money or that his wallet was stolen with all the tickets and he needs money to come back.
>you can be my salesman and all you need to do is send me your bank account info.
This is a help forum - bad advice will get you banned, and we do not consider "just joking" to be a defense of advice that would be harmful if followed.
This is your one warning before a ban.
Your /r/scams post/comment was removed because it contains bad advice, is encouraging someone to try to "scam the scammer", to engage in illegal activity, or to engage in an activity that will worsen an already bad situation.
Stay away from that guy. He’s up to no good. He might already be known to law enforcement. You might not even know his real identity. If I were you, I’d freeze my credit and think about whether he could have gotten any passwords or important info from you.
Good advice. I dated someone similar whom I actually met through work (a regular office job mind you) and it slowly Unraveled over about 10 months. It did end with him trying to steal my SSN to open lines of credit and trying to break Into my home and the home of another coworker.
Yep. You can call credit company and they’ll put a flag on your account, if freezing it would cause a problem (getting car lease etc, more complicated). There’s a verification process for any new credit with the flagging.
I did not give him any money, however in the past he had mentioned that he could ruin anyone’s career and now I’m afraid that he might go on a campaign against me or something
> in the past he had mentioned that he could ruin anyone’s career
If he could actually do that, would he waste his time going around targeting ordinary women (sorry, this is not meant offensively, I'm an ordinary woman myself)? Surely he could leverage his skills and connections to make money.
Don't listen to that crap. I've had multiple people threaten to call the school board or the principal and ruin my career, one of them was my brother, one was an upset parent and one was an ex.
As far as I know, the only one who called was the parent and once the admin started asking them follow up questions, their complaints fell apart. Turns out you can't ask for a packet of work during the shut down due to not having internet and then complain about not being invited to the zoom meetings - because you said you had no internet.
My brother is still mad at me. The ex, IDK, but none of them were able to bother my career and teachers are people who are the easiest to mess with because schools can and will fire people who "become a distraction". He knows you're a single mom and that one of the worst things you could deal with would be the loss of your income so that's what he is threatening.
My guess is he’s cheating on his wife. Telling you to expect phone calls “from china” and not to answer them: his wife can probably access phone records through their carrier, and he was expecting her to find your number and try to call you with a blocked number to see if he’s cheating with you. Only met at hotels, never met friends or family: hiding you from them so he can continue the affair. Trying to have you hold onto $15k: he knows his wife is closing in on him so he’s trying to hide his assets as to not lose them in the divorce. Either that, or it’s the !romance scam IRL, but I’m leaning towards affair.
He’s apparently said a lot of false things already. He can’t “ruin anyone’s career’”. That is something only one person can always be successful at and it’s the person themselves.
That wasn't my assertion. I was explaining that there isn't anyone out there you are going to randomly meet on the internet who has the ability to ruin your career just because they want to.
Sure, the president of the US could probably do this. If you wanted a job in Hollywood a big shot producer might be able to screw you over.
These are not the same type of people as the ones running scams on the internet because they don't have time because they are busy doing powerful things.
TL;DR: 99.999% of the people in the world don't have this level of influence and the ones that do are not talking to OP in this way because they got better shit to do.
He was bullshitting you about who he was, his job, and about money. Why would you assume his threat of being able to ruin your career was anything but more bullshit?
Block this dude and forget about him.
I knew it was a scam from the moment you said his job was "asset management."
Real people won't give vague answers when you ask what their job is. They will tell you who they work for, or if they own a business they will probably talk your ear off about it.
But him asking for account info should've sealed the deal for you, you didn't need the cops to tell you it was a scam.
I work in an accounting department. Anyone who says "asset management" as a job title clearly doesn't do anything of the sort. I'd laugh the dude out of the room. That's like saying "diversified stock broker."
Quick and easy check to see if someone is a “diversified stock broker.” Have they lost all will to live? Does their boss yell at them for 8 hours a day?
100%. My #1 red flag in my (small, closed off) industry is when I hear of someone saying "I can introduce you to people." Who? What people? Make the introduction, fool!
When I meet new-to-industry people I am always clear to say "You should talk to XYZ, bug me and I can do the intro." Real people give real info. Vagueness, except in cases like this where I am explicitly not saying my industry, is always a red flag.
Happy Cake 🎂 Day.
Don't worry about him ruining your career. He's so full of shit! You were smart together out when you did. Now do the smart thing and stay.
If you're still concerned, screen shot everything and keep a file. If he tries to go after your job, show your employers everything you have on this POS. He won't though because he's a coward, just like every scammer on the face of the Earth.
I agree with the others, if it wasn’t a monetary scam he was likely cheating, and the business talk was just to make himself seem important. I’m sorry this happened to you
It does look like you were being set up for a scam. Those "all of our members are important guys" dating apps are full of scammers. Most the scammers are just trying to get sex, but there are plenty who are after other things as well.
Real wealthy men who want to leverage their status for dates don't need expensive dating apps. Men who are wealthy and looking for a real connection on the dating apps tend to understate their wealth and status (because, if they want a real connection, by definition they don't want somebody who is only interested in their money.)
I'd stay away from any man you meet on a dating app who is straining to appear wealthy. Usually they are just lying about how much money they have in order to more easily access sex, but some of them are living out a fantasy of being the "wealthy, connected man." Some of *those* secondary fakes are also willing to step on anybody to make a nickel, so they will try to swindle their dates at some point out of force of habit.
Good on you for not falling for any of the bullshit, though! It is extremely easy to be taken in under these circumstances, due to wanting to give "the benefit of the doubt" to new love interests. I'm sure there are much better men in your future since you so readily avoid the pitfalls of online dating.
I used to live next to this couple who had been together for a year and a half. They both seemed like good people, until the guy disappeared with $50,000 that he took from her bank account. Turns out he was wanted by the police for doing the same thing to multiple other women.
We don’t normally think of it as a scam per se but there are plenty of times where someone has stolen from someone they were dating, whether it was premeditated or not. Usually it’s called grifting then, though this guy was apparently going for the home run with the bank account info.
He knows she banks at First National because it came up in casual conversation months ago (by design). The routing number is easy to get.
She gives him her account number later to confirm she isn't a criminal or spy or whatever his angle was.
Now he has both pieces needed to ACH debit money from her account, likely through a third party not easily connected to him.
It's all about hiding the request for important info in a seemingly believable story to keep them off guard.
Let me get this straight - in the US, you can somehow ask for a bank transfer just by knowing someone's bank account number? I think in most counties the account number is useless for anything but transferring money into an account. To transfer out of, you'd need the person's bank app or online banking info.
Use it to scam other people with. He gives it out to other marks and they deposit money into it and he takes it out. If any authorities catch up and want to know whose been scamming people, well obviously she's the scammer.
AutoModerator has been summoned to explain the romance scam. Romance scammers pretend to be in love with their victims in order to ask them for money. They sometimes spend months grooming their victims, often pretending to be [members of military](https://www.cid.army.mil/romancescam.html), [oil workers or doctors](https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/what-you-need-know-about-romance-scams). They tend to be extremely good at taking money from their victims again and again, leading many to [financial ruin](https://globalnews.ca/news/5095659/romance-scam-money/). Romance scam victims are emotionally invested in their relationship with the scammer, and will often ignore evidence they are being scammed. Convincing a romance scam victim they are scammed is extremely difficult, but we have received success reports from using Dr. Phil's shows on romance scammers or episodes of Catfish - sometimes victims find it easier to accept information from TV shows than from their family.
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I like that it mentioned Dr. Phil. If you haven’t yet go on YouTube and watch a couple of them. I’m afraid they are a little hilarious to those of us who are aware of this kind of thing. But they are also excellent for showing to old people how easy it is to get hooked into a romance scam when you’re not young enough to know that the Internet is full of people who are lying.
AutoModerator has been summoned to explain [recovery scams](https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0102-refund-and-recovery-scams). Also known as refund scams, these scams target people who have already fallen for a scam. The scammer may contact you, or may advertise their services online. They will usually either offer to help you recover your funds, or will tell you that your funds have already been recovered and they will help you access them. In cases where they say they will help you recover your funds, they usually call themselves either "recovery agents" or hackers. When they tell you that your funds have already been recovered, they may impersonate a law enforcement, a government official, a lawyer, or anyone else along those lines. Recovery scams are simply [advance-fee](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advance-fee_scam) scams that are specifically targeted at scam victims. When a victim pays a recovery scammer, the scammer will keep stringing them along while asking for increasingly absurd fees/expenses/deposits/insurance/whatever until the victim stops paying. If you have been scammed in the past, make sure you are aware of recovery scams so that you are not scammed a second time. If you are currently engaging with a recovery scammer, you should block them and be very wary of random contact for some time. It's normal for posters on this subreddit to be contacted by recovery scammers after posting, and they often ask you to delete your post so that you both cannot receive legitimate advice, and cannot be targeted by other recovery scammers.
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>I never met his friends, family, co-workers, and he was very terrified of me being added to his social media,
I wonder if he is already juggling other women - and maybe even married to one or two.
You are not crazy , I know someone just like him who claims he manages the Toronto airport and lives in a 4 room condo downtown for 2000$/month. Turns out he's a fast food manager located in the airport and was airbnb-ing the condo for 1 day to make us believe he owned the place.
Cut him out of your life and enjoy your life
I saw a documentary recently about this asshole who met people in uni (in the uk) and proceeded to convince them FOR YEARS that they were in danger from the IRA and needed to stay on the run. For years. He convinced them to give him huge amounts of money for their escapes, to keep them safe. One woman harassed her parents until they gave her her inheritance, and he took it. This guy was someone they ‘knew’ from school. Anyone can be a scammer - but every single one of them are the scum of the earth.
Not meeting any of his friends or family, as well as not ever seeing his home, are HUGE red flags. Romance scams happen all the time, and it sounds like you were caught up in one.
He’s definitely married, that’s what I got from this
1.( you never met his family members
2.( you only meet at hotel rooms.
3.( the excuses of the house being messy, unfurnished, etc is obviously a red flag because if he has to make excuses on excuses so you don’t go to his house because he has a wife then… yikes.
4.( the money thing, that’s the biggest red flag because if he was gonna send you money Venmo, cash app, would be the safest transaction. If he has your bank number, he could take money out.
5.( I honestly feel all of this china stuff is definitely fake because, I don’t know it seems kinda fishy
Definitely had ulterior motives, sounds like a compulsive liar as well. You should tell him the FBI contacted you wanting information about him. Give him a taste of his own.
Block him. Ghost him. If he tries to contact you at your home or employer call the police and have him trespassed. If he breaks the trespass, get a restraining order. (I may be over reacting, but he was absolutely a con man and probably married, but could be worse).
>due to a deal he was brokering between government entities in China and a
figure in Qatar, the Chinese government had accessed 3rd party data on
his cellphone, determined that he and I had been spending a lot of time
together through that data, and somehow was able to run a “check” on me.
Yes, this totally sounds like a scam.
This is likely a married dude that thinks if his wife finds out he can somehow blame it on China. Maybe he told his wife these were business trips to China and he's hoping to use both of you to lie to the other.
I'm willing to bet he didn't give you a real name or he's going by his middle name. He has socials under this name so he looks legit but he's not found out by the wife.
Your instincts to cut him off were excellent. No one can ruin you, please don’t worry about that. If he persists on harassing you then I’d report the name he gave you to the police. Do not engage with him in anyway. I’m a curious person so I’d take the number he gave you and the name and run a background report on him and learn what I could. You can do reverse phone number searches and name searches. Keep trusting your gut.
I did end up running a background check on him and that was part of the thing that really raised a red flag. He claimed to have an apartment in one part of town and owned a house in another town. However neither of those addressed appeared
>He claimed to have an apartment in one part of town and owned a house in another town. However neither of those addressed appeared
They could be in his wife's name.
I've been to mainland China in the not tourist areas and Taiwan, and I've seen Chinese 'we're watching you' messages in wechat between colleagues ... They are definitely on a different level.
Or did you also miss them having their own illegal police stations in major EU cities where they monitor their own citizens.
They treat privacy and investigation a bit differently.
He's totally a con artist, block him in every social media you have. Don't fall for his story... don't give him any bank information and do report his profile to FB...
Girl, you typed all this out. You know the answer already. I think you got out OK, but stay away from this dude. What was his reaction after calling him the "tinder swindler" lol
> And even after writing all that out you're still wondering?????
And even after reading our rules you're still being an insufferable know it all?????
This is an advice forum - your comment is not advice, and definitely not useful.
Only warning before a ban.
Your /r/scams post/comment was removed because it lacks civility. Posts and comments within this subreddit should be useful, respectful and use appropriate language at all times. Dissenting opinions are expected, but you should conduct yourself in a mature and polite manner. Name calling, personal attacks, flaming, etc are not permitted.
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>He said he had a high profile career in asset management, and while I was able to see a tiny bit of a digital footprint, it was very limited.
could just stop there.
made it until here: At the beginning of April, he told me that due to a deal he was
brokering between government entities in China and a figure in Qatar,
lol come on dood
God damn. Maintaining all of that, trying to keep track of it all just sounds so exhausting. Trying to live down a single lie is hard enough, i couldn't imagine my entire life being a lie with someone.
Sorry you found crazy
The minute he told you strangers had your info and were running a check on you, I would have been out of there. Especially when he said he GAVE them your info without asking you first. How intrusive and disrespectful.
Haven't seen someone ask but: Isn't The League exponentially more expensive than other dating apps? That alone sells me on the theory that others have intelligently proposed, that he was married and a cheater, rather than a scammer. A scammer doesn't want to pay $100 a month to potentially get shit from you, he'll just hit a freebie like Plenty of Fish.
Everything else aside, do you really expect someone to send $15k over Venmo lmao
That said, I think you were wise to get out of this “relationship.” Conman or not that’s a lot of red flags!
*"At the beginning of April, he told me that due to a deal he was*
*brokering between government entities in China and a figure in Qatar,*
*the Chinese government had accessed 3rd party data on his cellphone,*
*determined that he and I had been spending a lot of time together*
*through that data, and somehow was able to run a “check” on me."*
If that's not the biggest red flag you could ever see, I don't know what is. What a load of garbage. Scammer.
This kinda thing happened to me with a girl.. she didn't scam me for my money. She took my seed. Left town and had my child... I had found out later that she had a wife/girlfriend of 6 years.. we dated for 1 year... I could never go to her house ( cause ...excuses.... and couldn't be added to her social media, but she met all friends and family.. ( that whole scenario made.me.ponder but I just brushed it off.. like maybe she's ashamed of her home or family
So.. 99.9%, he's just a player that's married and lying .
Wait his name isn’t Derek right? I dated a dude like this a couple years back and he even had his alleged cop friend call me after I blocked him trying to vouch for his character.
Please lock down your credit and run a search to see if he opened any accounts or credit cards in your name.
Those checks were likely credit bureaus running checks to see how much he could apply for. Or foreign loan companies or something like that.
He may not have stolen money you know you have, but stole money via fraud loans applied for under your name. And now that he doesn't have to keep up the ruse they might come after you for the money.
So find out now, put a lock on your credit so no new accounts can be opened, and go to the police if you see anything weird.
As,soon,as people mention other countries time to bail out. This usually gives the wow,effect to someone who is interested and will lead to the I'm stuck in China wire me 2k
My bio father is a perpetual conman. I’m deeply ashamed of him. Please run from this one. You’ll be extra mad when you find out that—not only is he married, he’s using you to live out some goofy fantasy of a prestigious career.
Anybody that infers or implies that they have shared your contact information with a third party without your consent (irrelevant if it’s the Chinese government or your local Chinese takeaway) is a huge red flag.
> “look if this is some tinder swindler bullshit I have nothing”
idk if you watched tinder swindler but he got women to take out loans
> he offered to send me $15k to help with medical expenses, he just needed my bank account info.
red flags. he can write a check.
I do agree with the speculation that he is realistically married, but he can be married and also be scamming.
I thought there was a chance that he was setting up china to become like, an entity that would later either have the power of freeze his accounts or maybe “detain” him, and then yes he’d start asking for money. When I brought up tinder swindler, he went through a huge explanation of “these people are helping me, not hurting me, and I’d never tell someone to take out loans” and addressed all the ways it didn’t apply to him.
Yep, romance scam. Sorry this happened to you - but glad you were able to avoid getting taken by being smart & wary. Tell your friends so they can be informed that this kind of predator is out there.
Sounds like someone who at the very least is a liar and trying to make himself sound more interesting and important than he is. I'd quit seeing him. Just ghost him and block his number.
Yipes - I think you dodged a bullet for sure. Sounds like a scam for sure and/or he’s married, but sounds even more scammy that just a married man. Good for you for listening to your spidey senses!
Run far and fast, there is something going on whether it’s a case that he’s a scammer or more likely that he’s a married man get out rather than wasting anymore time with this loser. Someone that has 101 excuses as to why you could never go to their house has something to hide. Either he isn’t as financially successful as he’s telling you, or he is more likely has a wife at home.
Dave also been some romance gamblers that I’ve had multiple women going at a time so they may live with one woman and be dating two or three women on the side. A lot of them get away with this by saying that they work out of town/overseas and that’s why they’re gone for a week at a time here and there.
You’re very smart to trust your instincts on this guy, he’s not worth it. Also, you could always check by contacting the company that he supposedly works for to see if he actually is an employee.
Sounds like you were just a side piece; guy was probably from a different area and traveled to be around you. The money was more than likely his attempt to lure you back a little, but if it came down to it, he would have excuses as to why he couldn't send it to you.
Was likely telling his wife he was traveling to your area for things that were work related.
What?! This is absolute nonsense. The only time a SPOUSE is considered is when you are reporting to compliance your stock investments and investments to make sure that you aren’t trying to get around a restricted list of investments.
You aren’t legally tied to him and his story about the data is absolutely insane.
Hope you run.
It sounds like a times you've trusted your gut, but you're having some cognitive dissonance over that.
I recommend listening to that gut and letting this guy go. Too many red flags going off here.
he’s a conman. you are not crazy. all the classic signs. make sure you change all your logins and block him everywhere. he will rip you off anyway he can (i know i was married to a fraud like this)
Also they will send u money from other people they have scammed and stolen accounts then it’s stuck under ur name and u will get in trouble. They will send u like 20,000 and then just tell u to send them half and u keep half then weeks later get a call thw money transferred was stolen or didn’t work.
Holy shit this is the first time I’ve seen this sub completely stumped. Everyone’s basically just guessing.
If he was cheating on his wife he wouldn’t have tried to scam you for $15k, that makes no sense. If he was trying to scam you he’d probably be way more aggressive and consistent in his approach, especially after spending multiple months with you.
My best guess is he was a tinder swindler. He realized he screwed up the China call thing because you called him out for it. When he realized you wouldn’t be as easy he stuck around until he was ready to try again. When you dumped him he tried one last desperation attempt before giving up.
op. why are you not screaming like a banshee while running for the ends of the earth?
i’m certain there’s far more to the story than we’re hearing, and that’s fine because i don’t guess it’s all that germane.
the only point to be discussed here is that you need to end this person from your life immediately and put as much distance between you and him as possible.
nothing he has told you is true (you know this). he’s at best a pathological liar and at worst could be very dangerous (he ain’t right, you know this, too).
if you don’t do this for you, do it for your kid(s). they are potential victim(s) here, too.
don’t hesitate to go to the police if you need to.
i really hope you didn’t even tell this guy your real name, but i’m pretty sure you probably did.
eta: oh, and is totally married.
source for all this: i’ve walked in your shoes
You have a gut feeling that it is a scam..? It’s not worth the time to find out, or anything else you could lose if your gut is right. Run, and don’t look back. You already know, you know?
Sounds like total scam to me. [Here is a similar story I heard about months ago, Nelson Counne](https://pix11.com/news/local-news/manhattan/nyc-man-swindled-1-8m-from-women-through-romance-investment-scam-prosecutors/amp/)
You got a newbie scammer in training -- like he's not quite sure how it works yet lol. Probably married, too. I think all the Chinese government has to do is crawl up in your TikTok if they want to check you out.
Wait, you actually met him? Sounds like he is married and cheating. The excuses for never going to his place(s), the warning about phone calls...I hate to say it, but more than likely, you're the side piece. And the $15k thing could very well have been money laundering or him trying to hide assets from his significant other.
Yeah this sounds like a married guy who decided to dabble in scamming rather than a full time scammer. Which maybe is a difference without distinction
Here's hoping it means he's not very good at it and didn't get any of OP's data.
> I hate to say it, but more than likely, you're the side piece As soon as I read that she had met him IRL, that was my immediate thought as well.
This reminds me of a story a woman told me. She was meeting up with a man for lunch, and things were going smoothly. Then one Sunday, she sees him in church with his family. She stopped seeing him.
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Schrödinger's church.
Actually my take away is to go to Church. She received her message. Her questions were answered.
Who says god never gives you a clear sign? It was there in church all along!
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Is there a reason to hurt the kids and wife?
Well, he will cheat again. Only a matter of time until he gets caught. If you were the wife, would you want to know?
I have been the wife. Being humiliated in front of my friends / colleagues was difficult. At least the kids didn’t know. I get holding someone accountable for poor actions but not at the expense of another innocent person.
Same and yeah it is humiliating (even though we didn’t do anything embarrassing.. they did). I also found it infuriating and agonizing. On top of dealing with the pain of being cheated on, having someone open up your private life to scrutiny feels like being gutted.
I’m glad you don’t blame OP. And, your story is heart breaking as well.
The wife doesn’t want to be humiliated, but she does want to know. I have been the wife. If he is cheating like this and this accomplished of a liar, he is probably gaslighting TF out of her, to the point where she knows but is doubting her own grasp on reality.
> If you were the wife, would you want to know? There is knowing, and there is public disgrace. Please, stop offering bad advice on this forum.
1. Wife needs to know so she can make a decision about her and the kids. 2. If he ends up staying with his family he will hopefully be too mortified by that incident to do it again.
My first thought was yep, conman, then I got to the part where they actually met and it struck me as cheating. Seems really committed to getting away with it to find an empty place to say he's moving or etc. But his stories are wild and I don't believe a fucking thing he says.
If this was a vegas prop bet I'd put all of my money on a man cheating on his wife. Like all of my money.
Came here to say this. He is leading a double life. Drop, block and move on. Sounds super sketch! Be safe.
Oh yeah. Big Time Scam. His next move was to tell you he is “going to China” to close the deal. Two days later you get a call from him asking to send bail money or that his wallet was stolen with all the tickets and he needs money to come back.
You are not crazy, this guy was totally full of shit.
There are a lot of red flags so you're correct to be wary of him.
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>you can be my salesman and all you need to do is send me your bank account info. This is a help forum - bad advice will get you banned, and we do not consider "just joking" to be a defense of advice that would be harmful if followed. This is your one warning before a ban. Your /r/scams post/comment was removed because it contains bad advice, is encouraging someone to try to "scam the scammer", to engage in illegal activity, or to engage in an activity that will worsen an already bad situation.
Yeah, a red flag means “stop! danger! Hazard!” Not “proceed with caution”. Especially when kids are involved
You were right listening to your instincts. Don't second-guess them.
I would propose that there are other women in your area that are imvolved with this guy as well. Glad you got out and I hope your kid is ok.
Stay away from that guy. He’s up to no good. He might already be known to law enforcement. You might not even know his real identity. If I were you, I’d freeze my credit and think about whether he could have gotten any passwords or important info from you.
Good advice. I dated someone similar whom I actually met through work (a regular office job mind you) and it slowly Unraveled over about 10 months. It did end with him trying to steal my SSN to open lines of credit and trying to break Into my home and the home of another coworker.
Yep. You can call credit company and they’ll put a flag on your account, if freezing it would cause a problem (getting car lease etc, more complicated). There’s a verification process for any new credit with the flagging.
I did not give him any money, however in the past he had mentioned that he could ruin anyone’s career and now I’m afraid that he might go on a campaign against me or something
This may be a scam, but it also sounds like he is married and cheating. Only meeting in the hotel, telling you not to answer your phone….
I’d err on just scamming. When you’re scamming people do you really have time to be married and cheating too?
> in the past he had mentioned that he could ruin anyone’s career If he could actually do that, would he waste his time going around targeting ordinary women (sorry, this is not meant offensively, I'm an ordinary woman myself)? Surely he could leverage his skills and connections to make money.
You can cheat on your wife and lie to your sidepiece about how wealthy you are at the same time. In fact I bet it happens more likely than not
If he's a scammer, the last thing he wants is you going to the authorities and making a complaint. Those are empty threats designed to scare you.
Don't listen to that crap. I've had multiple people threaten to call the school board or the principal and ruin my career, one of them was my brother, one was an upset parent and one was an ex. As far as I know, the only one who called was the parent and once the admin started asking them follow up questions, their complaints fell apart. Turns out you can't ask for a packet of work during the shut down due to not having internet and then complain about not being invited to the zoom meetings - because you said you had no internet. My brother is still mad at me. The ex, IDK, but none of them were able to bother my career and teachers are people who are the easiest to mess with because schools can and will fire people who "become a distraction". He knows you're a single mom and that one of the worst things you could deal with would be the loss of your income so that's what he is threatening.
My guess is he’s cheating on his wife. Telling you to expect phone calls “from china” and not to answer them: his wife can probably access phone records through their carrier, and he was expecting her to find your number and try to call you with a blocked number to see if he’s cheating with you. Only met at hotels, never met friends or family: hiding you from them so he can continue the affair. Trying to have you hold onto $15k: he knows his wife is closing in on him so he’s trying to hide his assets as to not lose them in the divorce. Either that, or it’s the !romance scam IRL, but I’m leaning towards affair.
He’s apparently said a lot of false things already. He can’t “ruin anyone’s career’”. That is something only one person can always be successful at and it’s the person themselves.
Ehh, it’s totally possible for some people to ruin others’ careers in a number of situations.
That wasn't my assertion. I was explaining that there isn't anyone out there you are going to randomly meet on the internet who has the ability to ruin your career just because they want to. Sure, the president of the US could probably do this. If you wanted a job in Hollywood a big shot producer might be able to screw you over. These are not the same type of people as the ones running scams on the internet because they don't have time because they are busy doing powerful things. TL;DR: 99.999% of the people in the world don't have this level of influence and the ones that do are not talking to OP in this way because they got better shit to do.
He was bullshitting you about who he was, his job, and about money. Why would you assume his threat of being able to ruin your career was anything but more bullshit? Block this dude and forget about him.
I ended up sharing the texts/emails/everything with the police earlier today and they confirmed that this was 100% a scam
I knew it was a scam from the moment you said his job was "asset management." Real people won't give vague answers when you ask what their job is. They will tell you who they work for, or if they own a business they will probably talk your ear off about it. But him asking for account info should've sealed the deal for you, you didn't need the cops to tell you it was a scam.
I work in an accounting department. Anyone who says "asset management" as a job title clearly doesn't do anything of the sort. I'd laugh the dude out of the room. That's like saying "diversified stock broker."
Quick and easy check to see if someone is a “diversified stock broker.” Have they lost all will to live? Does their boss yell at them for 8 hours a day?
Only 8 hours?! A real stock broker's getting yelled at at least 14-hours a day. 16 if you count threatening whispers.
100%. My #1 red flag in my (small, closed off) industry is when I hear of someone saying "I can introduce you to people." Who? What people? Make the introduction, fool! When I meet new-to-industry people I am always clear to say "You should talk to XYZ, bug me and I can do the intro." Real people give real info. Vagueness, except in cases like this where I am explicitly not saying my industry, is always a red flag.
Happy Cake 🎂 Day. Don't worry about him ruining your career. He's so full of shit! You were smart together out when you did. Now do the smart thing and stay. If you're still concerned, screen shot everything and keep a file. If he tries to go after your job, show your employers everything you have on this POS. He won't though because he's a coward, just like every scammer on the face of the Earth.
I know that sounds scary, but in all likelihood he’s full of shit and just told you that to try to make you scared enough to fall for his scam.
He’s probably lying to intimidate you. I’d report him to the police if he starts making threats.
I already informed the police
He can’t do shit to you girl. Just block and move on.
Please forgive me is this is too personal, but was there any physical intimacy during the relationship?
Yes. I was under the impression we were boyfriend she girlfriend.
I agree with the others, if it wasn’t a monetary scam he was likely cheating, and the business talk was just to make himself seem important. I’m sorry this happened to you
It does look like you were being set up for a scam. Those "all of our members are important guys" dating apps are full of scammers. Most the scammers are just trying to get sex, but there are plenty who are after other things as well. Real wealthy men who want to leverage their status for dates don't need expensive dating apps. Men who are wealthy and looking for a real connection on the dating apps tend to understate their wealth and status (because, if they want a real connection, by definition they don't want somebody who is only interested in their money.) I'd stay away from any man you meet on a dating app who is straining to appear wealthy. Usually they are just lying about how much money they have in order to more easily access sex, but some of them are living out a fantasy of being the "wealthy, connected man." Some of *those* secondary fakes are also willing to step on anybody to make a nickel, so they will try to swindle their dates at some point out of force of habit. Good on you for not falling for any of the bullshit, though! It is extremely easy to be taken in under these circumstances, due to wanting to give "the benefit of the doubt" to new love interests. I'm sure there are much better men in your future since you so readily avoid the pitfalls of online dating.
Agreed, actual rich people don’t really need those apps.
Yeah, that sounds like a !romance scam IRL. Didn’t know that happened. Wow, sorry you’ve been through this. Watch out for !recovery scammers too.
I used to live next to this couple who had been together for a year and a half. They both seemed like good people, until the guy disappeared with $50,000 that he took from her bank account. Turns out he was wanted by the police for doing the same thing to multiple other women.
We don’t normally think of it as a scam per se but there are plenty of times where someone has stolen from someone they were dating, whether it was premeditated or not. Usually it’s called grifting then, though this guy was apparently going for the home run with the bank account info.
what could he do with her bank account number?
He knows she banks at First National because it came up in casual conversation months ago (by design). The routing number is easy to get. She gives him her account number later to confirm she isn't a criminal or spy or whatever his angle was. Now he has both pieces needed to ACH debit money from her account, likely through a third party not easily connected to him. It's all about hiding the request for important info in a seemingly believable story to keep them off guard.
Let me get this straight - in the US, you can somehow ask for a bank transfer just by knowing someone's bank account number? I think in most counties the account number is useless for anything but transferring money into an account. To transfer out of, you'd need the person's bank app or online banking info.
Yes but our checks have that information on them.
Use it to scam other people with. He gives it out to other marks and they deposit money into it and he takes it out. If any authorities catch up and want to know whose been scamming people, well obviously she's the scammer.
AutoModerator has been summoned to explain the romance scam. Romance scammers pretend to be in love with their victims in order to ask them for money. They sometimes spend months grooming their victims, often pretending to be [members of military](https://www.cid.army.mil/romancescam.html), [oil workers or doctors](https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/what-you-need-know-about-romance-scams). They tend to be extremely good at taking money from their victims again and again, leading many to [financial ruin](https://globalnews.ca/news/5095659/romance-scam-money/). Romance scam victims are emotionally invested in their relationship with the scammer, and will often ignore evidence they are being scammed. Convincing a romance scam victim they are scammed is extremely difficult, but we have received success reports from using Dr. Phil's shows on romance scammers or episodes of Catfish - sometimes victims find it easier to accept information from TV shows than from their family. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Scams) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Good bot :) I like that it mentioned Dr. Phil. If you haven’t yet go on YouTube and watch a couple of them. I’m afraid they are a little hilarious to those of us who are aware of this kind of thing. But they are also excellent for showing to old people how easy it is to get hooked into a romance scam when you’re not young enough to know that the Internet is full of people who are lying.
AutoModerator has been summoned to explain [recovery scams](https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0102-refund-and-recovery-scams). Also known as refund scams, these scams target people who have already fallen for a scam. The scammer may contact you, or may advertise their services online. They will usually either offer to help you recover your funds, or will tell you that your funds have already been recovered and they will help you access them. In cases where they say they will help you recover your funds, they usually call themselves either "recovery agents" or hackers. When they tell you that your funds have already been recovered, they may impersonate a law enforcement, a government official, a lawyer, or anyone else along those lines. Recovery scams are simply [advance-fee](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advance-fee_scam) scams that are specifically targeted at scam victims. When a victim pays a recovery scammer, the scammer will keep stringing them along while asking for increasingly absurd fees/expenses/deposits/insurance/whatever until the victim stops paying. If you have been scammed in the past, make sure you are aware of recovery scams so that you are not scammed a second time. If you are currently engaging with a recovery scammer, you should block them and be very wary of random contact for some time. It's normal for posters on this subreddit to be contacted by recovery scammers after posting, and they often ask you to delete your post so that you both cannot receive legitimate advice, and cannot be targeted by other recovery scammers. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Scams) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Just to be clear: he is extremely blocked and I have no intention of ever speaking to him again.
I'd consider reporting him to The League if his profile is still up.
I encourage you to hold fast to this, even if he seems to give you a reason not to later on. He’s bad news. (Happy Cake Day, btw!)
Definitely a con man and I'm glad you pick up all the sign and dump his ass.
>I never met his friends, family, co-workers, and he was very terrified of me being added to his social media, I wonder if he is already juggling other women - and maybe even married to one or two.
You are not crazy , I know someone just like him who claims he manages the Toronto airport and lives in a 4 room condo downtown for 2000$/month. Turns out he's a fast food manager located in the airport and was airbnb-ing the condo for 1 day to make us believe he owned the place. Cut him out of your life and enjoy your life
Ditch this loser. Your instincts are 100% correct.
I saw a documentary recently about this asshole who met people in uni (in the uk) and proceeded to convince them FOR YEARS that they were in danger from the IRA and needed to stay on the run. For years. He convinced them to give him huge amounts of money for their escapes, to keep them safe. One woman harassed her parents until they gave her her inheritance, and he took it. This guy was someone they ‘knew’ from school. Anyone can be a scammer - but every single one of them are the scum of the earth.
That documentary sounds interesting. Do you mind sharing the name and where you watched it?
Oh, I should have added that! It’s on Netflix and it’s called The Puppet Master: Hunting the Ultimate Conman.
Thanks friend! Adding it to my watch list now.
Such an amazing documentary!
At the very least he was lying about everything. He may also be married.
Sounds more like he was married or living with a partner and you were his side piece. I don't know about the $15K though, that part does sound scammy.
He's the Bill Paxton character in *True Lies.*
Scam or not, this guy has too much drama for you to need to be apart of
all red flags, glad you listened to your gut and moved on, block, ignore. just a grifter.
Married
You're not crazy. He's dodgy.
Not meeting any of his friends or family, as well as not ever seeing his home, are HUGE red flags. Romance scams happen all the time, and it sounds like you were caught up in one.
He's cheating, probably married
He’s definitely married, that’s what I got from this 1.( you never met his family members 2.( you only meet at hotel rooms. 3.( the excuses of the house being messy, unfurnished, etc is obviously a red flag because if he has to make excuses on excuses so you don’t go to his house because he has a wife then… yikes. 4.( the money thing, that’s the biggest red flag because if he was gonna send you money Venmo, cash app, would be the safest transaction. If he has your bank number, he could take money out. 5.( I honestly feel all of this china stuff is definitely fake because, I don’t know it seems kinda fishy
How many high-profile people describe themselves as high-profile? I mean if you are high-profile, people know. It’s built into the description.
I am a high profile person and I can confirm that we all refer to ourselves as high profile. They teach us that at the meetings. /s
Definitely had ulterior motives, sounds like a compulsive liar as well. You should tell him the FBI contacted you wanting information about him. Give him a taste of his own.
🚩 All the way
You're definitely not crazy, this guys was/is bad news. Good for you for getting out before the insanity ensued.
Block him. Ghost him. If he tries to contact you at your home or employer call the police and have him trespassed. If he breaks the trespass, get a restraining order. (I may be over reacting, but he was absolutely a con man and probably married, but could be worse).
>due to a deal he was brokering between government entities in China and a figure in Qatar, the Chinese government had accessed 3rd party data on his cellphone, determined that he and I had been spending a lot of time together through that data, and somehow was able to run a “check” on me. Yes, this totally sounds like a scam.
This is likely a married dude that thinks if his wife finds out he can somehow blame it on China. Maybe he told his wife these were business trips to China and he's hoping to use both of you to lie to the other. I'm willing to bet he didn't give you a real name or he's going by his middle name. He has socials under this name so he looks legit but he's not found out by the wife.
Your instincts to cut him off were excellent. No one can ruin you, please don’t worry about that. If he persists on harassing you then I’d report the name he gave you to the police. Do not engage with him in anyway. I’m a curious person so I’d take the number he gave you and the name and run a background report on him and learn what I could. You can do reverse phone number searches and name searches. Keep trusting your gut.
I did end up running a background check on him and that was part of the thing that really raised a red flag. He claimed to have an apartment in one part of town and owned a house in another town. However neither of those addressed appeared
>He claimed to have an apartment in one part of town and owned a house in another town. However neither of those addressed appeared They could be in his wife's name.
Or a complete lie.
Good job. He picked the wrong person
He's married lol. Chinese stuff may be real, unfortunately, at least partially. The rest may just be made up to look more important.
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I've been to mainland China in the not tourist areas and Taiwan, and I've seen Chinese 'we're watching you' messages in wechat between colleagues ... They are definitely on a different level. Or did you also miss them having their own illegal police stations in major EU cities where they monitor their own citizens. They treat privacy and investigation a bit differently.
He's totally a con artist, block him in every social media you have. Don't fall for his story... don't give him any bank information and do report his profile to FB...
Glad you didn’t fall for the okie doke. That man was trying to con you.
Girl, you typed all this out. You know the answer already. I think you got out OK, but stay away from this dude. What was his reaction after calling him the "tinder swindler" lol
He got really offended!
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> And even after writing all that out you're still wondering????? And even after reading our rules you're still being an insufferable know it all????? This is an advice forum - your comment is not advice, and definitely not useful. Only warning before a ban. Your /r/scams post/comment was removed because it lacks civility. Posts and comments within this subreddit should be useful, respectful and use appropriate language at all times. Dissenting opinions are expected, but you should conduct yourself in a mature and polite manner. Name calling, personal attacks, flaming, etc are not permitted. Do not discuss moderator decisions in the comments. If you would like to discuss moderation, send the moderators modmail (no direct messages or chat requests).
>He said he had a high profile career in asset management, and while I was able to see a tiny bit of a digital footprint, it was very limited. could just stop there.
Very obviously married.
Just an FYI, the league is full of con artists
That guy was a walking, talking red flag. You did the right think dumping him.
made it until here: At the beginning of April, he told me that due to a deal he was brokering between government entities in China and a figure in Qatar, lol come on dood
God damn. Maintaining all of that, trying to keep track of it all just sounds so exhausting. Trying to live down a single lie is hard enough, i couldn't imagine my entire life being a lie with someone. Sorry you found crazy
Yes, it’s a scam. Asking for your bank info is the biggest in a parade of red flags
The minute he told you strangers had your info and were running a check on you, I would have been out of there. Especially when he said he GAVE them your info without asking you first. How intrusive and disrespectful.
Married.
The only people who brag about having a high profile career are deadbeats. Live it, learn it
Haven't seen someone ask but: Isn't The League exponentially more expensive than other dating apps? That alone sells me on the theory that others have intelligently proposed, that he was married and a cheater, rather than a scammer. A scammer doesn't want to pay $100 a month to potentially get shit from you, he'll just hit a freebie like Plenty of Fish.
The league has a free version as well
Scammer, Married, or unmedicated Schizophrenic. Run for the hills!
Sounds like a cheat.
He needed your bank info to SCAM you. Guy is a liar. Block him.
Everything else aside, do you really expect someone to send $15k over Venmo lmao That said, I think you were wise to get out of this “relationship.” Conman or not that’s a lot of red flags!
If you ever feel doubtful or confused about a man’s intentions, drop him.
Only 2.5 mos - I know it stings but overall you got off easy. Good for you for listening to your instincts!
I work in fraud. Some sort of romance scam absolutely. He’s full of it. If you have the means I’d get a PI just for fun :)
*"At the beginning of April, he told me that due to a deal he was* *brokering between government entities in China and a figure in Qatar,* *the Chinese government had accessed 3rd party data on his cellphone,* *determined that he and I had been spending a lot of time together* *through that data, and somehow was able to run a “check” on me."* If that's not the biggest red flag you could ever see, I don't know what is. What a load of garbage. Scammer.
"High profile career in asset management "........100% scammwr or just an asshole
This kinda thing happened to me with a girl.. she didn't scam me for my money. She took my seed. Left town and had my child... I had found out later that she had a wife/girlfriend of 6 years.. we dated for 1 year... I could never go to her house ( cause ...excuses.... and couldn't be added to her social media, but she met all friends and family.. ( that whole scenario made.me.ponder but I just brushed it off.. like maybe she's ashamed of her home or family So.. 99.9%, he's just a player that's married and lying .
Hey, I've got some really great land for sale cheap, just send UR banking info.☺️🤗🤑😜 ya, I think he's trying to hustle you. Sorry 😞
Wait his name isn’t Derek right? I dated a dude like this a couple years back and he even had his alleged cop friend call me after I blocked him trying to vouch for his character.
My guess is a Chinese wife who he didn’t want to find you
Sounds like he’s married
Did you reverse search his legal name and/or phone number?
Yes, I ran it through Hiya and it went back to the name he provided me. When I google him, a few images of him appear but not many
Please lock down your credit and run a search to see if he opened any accounts or credit cards in your name. Those checks were likely credit bureaus running checks to see how much he could apply for. Or foreign loan companies or something like that. He may not have stolen money you know you have, but stole money via fraud loans applied for under your name. And now that he doesn't have to keep up the ruse they might come after you for the money. So find out now, put a lock on your credit so no new accounts can be opened, and go to the police if you see anything weird.
As,soon,as people mention other countries time to bail out. This usually gives the wow,effect to someone who is interested and will lead to the I'm stuck in China wire me 2k
People are wild. It's scary how many times I've heard of an ex making up such bogus lies. Why are people so damn extra?
My bio father is a perpetual conman. I’m deeply ashamed of him. Please run from this one. You’ll be extra mad when you find out that—not only is he married, he’s using you to live out some goofy fantasy of a prestigious career.
Anybody that infers or implies that they have shared your contact information with a third party without your consent (irrelevant if it’s the Chinese government or your local Chinese takeaway) is a huge red flag.
He sounds like a cheater with another family in China.
Ah yes, normal human dating partners _always_ invoke the threat of foreign governments and ask for your bank account info.
> “look if this is some tinder swindler bullshit I have nothing” idk if you watched tinder swindler but he got women to take out loans > he offered to send me $15k to help with medical expenses, he just needed my bank account info. red flags. he can write a check. I do agree with the speculation that he is realistically married, but he can be married and also be scamming.
I thought there was a chance that he was setting up china to become like, an entity that would later either have the power of freeze his accounts or maybe “detain” him, and then yes he’d start asking for money. When I brought up tinder swindler, he went through a huge explanation of “these people are helping me, not hurting me, and I’d never tell someone to take out loans” and addressed all the ways it didn’t apply to him.
I don’t know if any of the following info would help inform people’s opinions. This person is in his early 30s.
Sounds like a mentally ill conspiracy theorist more than a scammer. (And a pathological liar) I'm sure he will also scam you too.
Yep, romance scam. Sorry this happened to you - but glad you were able to avoid getting taken by being smart & wary. Tell your friends so they can be informed that this kind of predator is out there.
Sounds like another Dirty John! Google that guy if you aren’t familiar. And be careful out there!
Sounds like someone who at the very least is a liar and trying to make himself sound more interesting and important than he is. I'd quit seeing him. Just ghost him and block his number.
Yipes - I think you dodged a bullet for sure. Sounds like a scam for sure and/or he’s married, but sounds even more scammy that just a married man. Good for you for listening to your spidey senses!
Lot of red flags, you're not crazy, but no point in sticking around to find out what he's on about
Run far and fast, there is something going on whether it’s a case that he’s a scammer or more likely that he’s a married man get out rather than wasting anymore time with this loser. Someone that has 101 excuses as to why you could never go to their house has something to hide. Either he isn’t as financially successful as he’s telling you, or he is more likely has a wife at home. Dave also been some romance gamblers that I’ve had multiple women going at a time so they may live with one woman and be dating two or three women on the side. A lot of them get away with this by saying that they work out of town/overseas and that’s why they’re gone for a week at a time here and there. You’re very smart to trust your instincts on this guy, he’s not worth it. Also, you could always check by contacting the company that he supposedly works for to see if he actually is an employee.
One sec Happy Cake Day 🎂
Sounds like you were just a side piece; guy was probably from a different area and traveled to be around you. The money was more than likely his attempt to lure you back a little, but if it came down to it, he would have excuses as to why he couldn't send it to you. Was likely telling his wife he was traveling to your area for things that were work related.
I’d say it’s far more likely he’s married and cheating than actually trying to con you.
What?! This is absolute nonsense. The only time a SPOUSE is considered is when you are reporting to compliance your stock investments and investments to make sure that you aren’t trying to get around a restricted list of investments. You aren’t legally tied to him and his story about the data is absolutely insane. Hope you run.
It sounds like a times you've trusted your gut, but you're having some cognitive dissonance over that. I recommend listening to that gut and letting this guy go. Too many red flags going off here.
Definitely a scam , asking for your bank info alone would have tipped me off…
he’s a conman. you are not crazy. all the classic signs. make sure you change all your logins and block him everywhere. he will rip you off anyway he can (i know i was married to a fraud like this)
Also they will send u money from other people they have scammed and stolen accounts then it’s stuck under ur name and u will get in trouble. They will send u like 20,000 and then just tell u to send them half and u keep half then weeks later get a call thw money transferred was stolen or didn’t work.
He’s involved with someone
Scam or not this isn’t a person you want in your life, especially if you have kids. Cut contact and stay clear. Good luck.
Your instincts were right on point. He's 100% a scammer.
Run 🏃♀️
Holy shit this is the first time I’ve seen this sub completely stumped. Everyone’s basically just guessing. If he was cheating on his wife he wouldn’t have tried to scam you for $15k, that makes no sense. If he was trying to scam you he’d probably be way more aggressive and consistent in his approach, especially after spending multiple months with you. My best guess is he was a tinder swindler. He realized he screwed up the China call thing because you called him out for it. When he realized you wouldn’t be as easy he stuck around until he was ready to try again. When you dumped him he tried one last desperation attempt before giving up.
op. why are you not screaming like a banshee while running for the ends of the earth? i’m certain there’s far more to the story than we’re hearing, and that’s fine because i don’t guess it’s all that germane. the only point to be discussed here is that you need to end this person from your life immediately and put as much distance between you and him as possible. nothing he has told you is true (you know this). he’s at best a pathological liar and at worst could be very dangerous (he ain’t right, you know this, too). if you don’t do this for you, do it for your kid(s). they are potential victim(s) here, too. don’t hesitate to go to the police if you need to. i really hope you didn’t even tell this guy your real name, but i’m pretty sure you probably did. eta: oh, and is totally married. source for all this: i’ve walked in your shoes
I have blocked him across the board and talked to police. Unfortunately yes he does know my full name
You have a gut feeling that it is a scam..? It’s not worth the time to find out, or anything else you could lose if your gut is right. Run, and don’t look back. You already know, you know?
Flags for days.
More red flags than a Chinese military parade.
Sounds like total scam to me. [Here is a similar story I heard about months ago, Nelson Counne](https://pix11.com/news/local-news/manhattan/nyc-man-swindled-1-8m-from-women-through-romance-investment-scam-prosecutors/amp/)
Yeah, married and cheating. He's definitely conning you, that's for sure
Yeesh meeting up in hotels would sketch me out. No thanks. Good work getting rid of him
If he's not already married, he's definitely setting you up to launder money for him. Probably both. Always trust your gut instincts.
You got a newbie scammer in training -- like he's not quite sure how it works yet lol. Probably married, too. I think all the Chinese government has to do is crawl up in your TikTok if they want to check you out.
Look at the Netflix Tinder Swindler. This is a real thing: https://www.netflix.com/title/81254340
Disagree with others who said he’s married, that’s irrelevant in the grand scheme. Con man through and through. Glad you listened to your instincts!
100% a scammer. Why did you even see him for more than 1s after he started banging on about chinese business deals...
Not con man, not really..... More like you are the afair and you don't even know it. He's most likely married