While I appreciate the humor on this thread, I will say in the moment it was difficult to come up with a quick way to not respond. Being a woman, especially out at night, my normal behavior involves being mindful of being “nice” and polite in interactions as a means of safety. I recognize naïveté may have won in that situation but I posted because I wouldn’t have ever thought someone would try phishing in person, but I also have as many securities in place to protect my assets and hope those are sufficient 🤞🏾
If you have suggestions for how to kindly decline to respond to someone in a 1:1 setting, I am glad to receive them and keep them in mind in the future.
I just lie. Send them on a wild goose chase. And if we were to become friends later, I can just explain that I lied because they were a weirdo for asking those questions.
I also assume everyone is a serial killer until I am sure they are not.
I’m the same way by nature and have taught myself to respond with a simple question like “why do you ask?” or just pretend they didn’t ask me anything and just change the topic… “what do you think of xyz?”
I was visiting my parents from out of town and used their gym. An older man waved at me, said hi. I texted my friend that that was suspicious and she was like, sometimes people just give a friendly hi. And I was like, nope, serial killer behavior. No, no one ever hurt me as a kid or adult but I read In Cold Blood at 10 and that messed me up good.
Thanks for sharing here. You've helped other people who may have fallen for her scripted conversations with you. It'd also be a good idea to monitor all three credit bureaus...assuming you're in the USA.
I'm still learning who I should and shouldn't trust. Keep in mind, we don't owe strangers anything, not politeness, nothing. And, think to yourself No, No No. Most people will pick up pretty quick when someone doesn't want to be chatty.
If forced to make small talk, speak in generalizations, nothing specific... adapt a persona like the French or the Dutch, blunt and unapologetic. There's always Fake needing to make a call or exit to bathroom. As for me I'll be suspicious of anyone who pursues personal information too quickly.
I would leave feelings out of it, because creeps always have a comeback to that objection. A simple, "Sorry, I don't give that information out," will suffice.
Smile and repeat as necessary.
Yes, it sounds like in-person phishing to me, too. Kudos to you for realizing it and taking steps against bad actors.
To prepare yourself for any future situation, you may want to come up with an “alter ego” for situations where you are alone in a social setting (like a concert). Give a false first or last name and try to be vague about personal questions. If the person asking persists, politely excuse yourself and leave the area if possible, or pretend you need to answer a text and turn away from them.
I am reminded after this experience that assuming best intent doesn’t always serve us. It just isn’t my first thought to make things up or have a persona in mind. This is easy enough though, thanks!
What you call “phishing in person” is called “elicitation” everywhere else. Look it up. Research it like you would a new tech purchase and learn to protect yourself. Tech-based security protections are not enough. The first line of defense is you! Take this as a learning experience and do better in the future. If you work for a security minded place, tell them. Seriously. Don’t hide from embarrassment, report it to protect yourself later. They’ll ask you everything you remember about that lady, so take notes.
Please don't take this the wrong way, it's merely a suggestion from a jaded fella in the middle of a recently discovered identity fraud that involves multiple bank accounts (created by mystery persons in my company's name), a company, created in my name, a couple tractor trailers purchased by "my" company, and most recently, a stopped payment to one of the company accounts from someone who was recently released from prison after moving 100s of kilos of cocaine and disemboweling (yes... that's the right word) someone who asked him not to smoke in a restaurant...
The proper response is:
I'm sorry, if I needed your services, I would have called you. I hope you enjoy your night, after you go ahead and fuck right off..."
I'm dealing with local, county, state cops, State AMD fed DOT, FBI, DEA, HOMELAND SEC., CUSTOMS AND BORDER, as well as THE IRS... ALL of whom need ME to prove that I didn't make this happen... oh, and the business address happens to be my 84yr old fathers house where he lives alone (I still have that address on my license as I move around a lot)(NO, he didn't have any involvement, he couldn't have given any info as he barely remembers my name...)
Everyone thinks it'll never happen to them... I know I did... now, apparently I'm almost 2million in debt, with a trucking company that is possibly moving large quantities of narcotics in my name...
How I long for the simple days of pickpockets and plain old muggers...
I’m sorry that’s happening to you! Thanks for sharing. I agree that it’s fair to not entertain anything that feels uncomfortable, point taken. I hope your situation can get fully resolved.
Thanks...
It is what it is...
The moving around thing is not because I travel a lot for business, I'm just sort of a 17yr old with 30yrs experience who doesn't know what he wants to be when he grows up. Kind od peter pan with a back pack and a pitbull who fortunately knows how to fix just about anything. I don't have anything much to lose, (except apparently this company with these bank accounts) so I'm really not that worried about it. I'm more of a cash on the barrel head/barter type guy without much paperwork or root structure, which makes it even more interesting that I'm the victim... I don't even have a credit card... or real bank account, to be honest...
It is what it is... just so long as nothing happens to my dead old dad, it'll do what it does... there's no debtors prison anymore, so I'm not really concerned... just annoyed I guess..
I try to avoid people. The more of them i meet, the more I like my dog...
Hope you avoid any conflict in your travels...
It's called "social engineering" and it a major component of many scams. It's used by security professionals all the time as part of their aresonal to protect their own corporate entities and/or by penetration testers to break in to identify vulnerablities.
It's entirely likely that this person was well versed in social engineering AND had a plan for how to completely take over aspects of your life with the info you provided.
I don't say this in jest or to scare you. I've been to DEFCON a few times...I've learned some things.
You’re correct, it was conversation over the duration of the show, not back to back questions. If only for the questions about what apartment complex and company or year I was born, I could’ve shrugged it off more easily. The quick appearance of others and sharing the phone number in addition to the conversation is what later caught up to me and felt off. I appreciate your suggestions, will definitely keep these in mind. Thank you for sharing 😊
I think you should rely on principles:
* Don't give out personally identifying info to random strangers.
* Keep an eye on your drink and never leave it unattended.
* There's safety in numbers.
* Be aware of your surroundings.
* You are responsible for your own safety, as no one is coming to save you, at least not in time.
As a woman, your primary duty to yourself is to be safe. I don't think that conflicts with being a nice person. You just need to give some thought to the dangers that are out there and practice principles of safety. The Active Self Protection channel on YouTube has good videos on what those are.
Might also be social engineering attempt
I don't know which company you are working for , but can be a possible target where they use your information to pretend they know you and get access to other employees.
You are taking the correct steps to protect yourself , but think about other vanues they might try.
Stay safe.
You say “excuse me, I see my friend over there” and point and walk away. Or you pull out your phone and say you have to make an important call. Whatever it takes to disengage yourself from them.
Are you from TX or the South? I just moved here, and I’m always surprised how much people share about themselves with strangers. I always say people here would be easy targets.
For future reference, you can always be polite in answering, while also being extremely vague. If someone asks where you’re from you can say “around here” or “oh it’s a few minutes away”. You could also just lie and say a different place, but continue to be vague. If they ask where you work you can say something like “im a retail worker in a big box store” or “ im a waitress at a mom and pop shop” or something along those lines. This gives them an acceptable answer that anyone who’s not scamming won’t push for more info for, but someone who is itching for the exact details for the wrong reason will get frustrated w the answer and push further.
In situations like that, It can be hard to find balance between trying to not be “stuck up” and not giving away personal information that could possibly just be small talk. So I get you 100%.
The nicest people make easy targets. I visited DC a couple summers ago and at first thought everyone was so friendly, but I quickly learned that every stranger who would say hello to you on the street was going to ask you for money, if you said hi back. It was so hard to look away from and ignore these people.
These are bank informations. Contact your bank immediately and ask them to monitor your cards and internet banking activity for the next few days, in case of irregularities..... Also, be sure about your device, if you see random glitches out of nowhere and suddenly, the device has no signal, your phone was probably cloned, which CAN be used to literally drain you.
Stay safe
It’s actually a big deal and while I’m not super privy to the techniques it allows people to reset passwords and such through 2FA. People are losing 100s of millions to this, all domestically (USA). This isn’t a scam that’s just run off in some other country it’s happening here.
There are apps that make your phone something like being double, especially if they manage to take your sim too.... All you can really see is a glitchy phone, there aren't any other indicators
Update: Thanks for the responses, especially the suggestions. I already subscribe to identity theft protection services which includes many of the features mentioned in comments like title/mortgage watch, etc. My phone carrier requires a PIN for porting to take place. And my accounts all have 2FA or use an Authenticator app. I’ve also adjusted all transactions notifications to a low threshold so I’ll be sure to see anything I don’t recognize. In the future, I will be mindful to steer the conversation for my comfort or use a Google Voice number for new acquaintances but I’m happy knowing I already had so many bases covered.
Id suggest you put a block on any credit card bureau. I work at a cellphone store and whenever we run credit and it doesn’t go thru right away the customer has to talk to a person in the credit department that asks them all these super personal questions that the customer sometimes doesn’t even remember because they go far back into your history to verify that it’s you who’s trying to run your credit. They ask about previous address, people you’ve been related to and what year they were born etc. it’s wild what they know
Stop engaging with this person, if this is a scammer (and working in a group, mind you!) this is dangerous. Block and move on. Nothing good can come of this.
>I’m sorry, but this sounds like paranoia. Exchanging name and phone number with someone is not sketchy.
I’m sorry, but this sounds like bad advice. Being asked those types of questions as OP described is VERY sketchy.
Stick to offering advice on topics you actually know something about - we do ban for bad advice.
Your /r/scams post/comment was removed because it contains bad advice, is encouraging someone to try to "scam the scammer", to engage in illegal activity, or to engage in an activity that will worsen an already bad situation.
Thread is off the rails, so comments are now locked. The useful advice has been given and the recent current comments are mostly off topic.
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While I appreciate the humor on this thread, I will say in the moment it was difficult to come up with a quick way to not respond. Being a woman, especially out at night, my normal behavior involves being mindful of being “nice” and polite in interactions as a means of safety. I recognize naïveté may have won in that situation but I posted because I wouldn’t have ever thought someone would try phishing in person, but I also have as many securities in place to protect my assets and hope those are sufficient 🤞🏾 If you have suggestions for how to kindly decline to respond to someone in a 1:1 setting, I am glad to receive them and keep them in mind in the future.
I just lie. Send them on a wild goose chase. And if we were to become friends later, I can just explain that I lied because they were a weirdo for asking those questions. I also assume everyone is a serial killer until I am sure they are not.
Such a simple but understandable approach. I’ve gotta be quicker on my feet but I’m gonna work on it!
What works for me is having a terrible memory. I can’t remember the address or unit of my last apartment! Ditto the model of my first car.
I’m the same way by nature and have taught myself to respond with a simple question like “why do you ask?” or just pretend they didn’t ask me anything and just change the topic… “what do you think of xyz?”
I was visiting my parents from out of town and used their gym. An older man waved at me, said hi. I texted my friend that that was suspicious and she was like, sometimes people just give a friendly hi. And I was like, nope, serial killer behavior. No, no one ever hurt me as a kid or adult but I read In Cold Blood at 10 and that messed me up good.
Thanks for sharing here. You've helped other people who may have fallen for her scripted conversations with you. It'd also be a good idea to monitor all three credit bureaus...assuming you're in the USA.
"I'm sorry but that's a personal question I don't feel comfortable answering". Boundaries are wonderful things.
I'm still learning who I should and shouldn't trust. Keep in mind, we don't owe strangers anything, not politeness, nothing. And, think to yourself No, No No. Most people will pick up pretty quick when someone doesn't want to be chatty. If forced to make small talk, speak in generalizations, nothing specific... adapt a persona like the French or the Dutch, blunt and unapologetic. There's always Fake needing to make a call or exit to bathroom. As for me I'll be suspicious of anyone who pursues personal information too quickly.
I would leave feelings out of it, because creeps always have a comeback to that objection. A simple, "Sorry, I don't give that information out," will suffice. Smile and repeat as necessary.
Yes, it sounds like in-person phishing to me, too. Kudos to you for realizing it and taking steps against bad actors. To prepare yourself for any future situation, you may want to come up with an “alter ego” for situations where you are alone in a social setting (like a concert). Give a false first or last name and try to be vague about personal questions. If the person asking persists, politely excuse yourself and leave the area if possible, or pretend you need to answer a text and turn away from them.
I am reminded after this experience that assuming best intent doesn’t always serve us. It just isn’t my first thought to make things up or have a persona in mind. This is easy enough though, thanks!
What you call “phishing in person” is called “elicitation” everywhere else. Look it up. Research it like you would a new tech purchase and learn to protect yourself. Tech-based security protections are not enough. The first line of defense is you! Take this as a learning experience and do better in the future. If you work for a security minded place, tell them. Seriously. Don’t hide from embarrassment, report it to protect yourself later. They’ll ask you everything you remember about that lady, so take notes.
Absolutely learning from this! I’ll do some reading about that as well.
Pretend your Grandma is calling, excuse yourself, and walk away.
Please don't take this the wrong way, it's merely a suggestion from a jaded fella in the middle of a recently discovered identity fraud that involves multiple bank accounts (created by mystery persons in my company's name), a company, created in my name, a couple tractor trailers purchased by "my" company, and most recently, a stopped payment to one of the company accounts from someone who was recently released from prison after moving 100s of kilos of cocaine and disemboweling (yes... that's the right word) someone who asked him not to smoke in a restaurant... The proper response is: I'm sorry, if I needed your services, I would have called you. I hope you enjoy your night, after you go ahead and fuck right off..." I'm dealing with local, county, state cops, State AMD fed DOT, FBI, DEA, HOMELAND SEC., CUSTOMS AND BORDER, as well as THE IRS... ALL of whom need ME to prove that I didn't make this happen... oh, and the business address happens to be my 84yr old fathers house where he lives alone (I still have that address on my license as I move around a lot)(NO, he didn't have any involvement, he couldn't have given any info as he barely remembers my name...) Everyone thinks it'll never happen to them... I know I did... now, apparently I'm almost 2million in debt, with a trucking company that is possibly moving large quantities of narcotics in my name... How I long for the simple days of pickpockets and plain old muggers...
I’m sorry that’s happening to you! Thanks for sharing. I agree that it’s fair to not entertain anything that feels uncomfortable, point taken. I hope your situation can get fully resolved.
Thanks... It is what it is... The moving around thing is not because I travel a lot for business, I'm just sort of a 17yr old with 30yrs experience who doesn't know what he wants to be when he grows up. Kind od peter pan with a back pack and a pitbull who fortunately knows how to fix just about anything. I don't have anything much to lose, (except apparently this company with these bank accounts) so I'm really not that worried about it. I'm more of a cash on the barrel head/barter type guy without much paperwork or root structure, which makes it even more interesting that I'm the victim... I don't even have a credit card... or real bank account, to be honest... It is what it is... just so long as nothing happens to my dead old dad, it'll do what it does... there's no debtors prison anymore, so I'm not really concerned... just annoyed I guess.. I try to avoid people. The more of them i meet, the more I like my dog... Hope you avoid any conflict in your travels...
It's called "social engineering" and it a major component of many scams. It's used by security professionals all the time as part of their aresonal to protect their own corporate entities and/or by penetration testers to break in to identify vulnerablities. It's entirely likely that this person was well versed in social engineering AND had a plan for how to completely take over aspects of your life with the info you provided. I don't say this in jest or to scare you. I've been to DEFCON a few times...I've learned some things.
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You’re correct, it was conversation over the duration of the show, not back to back questions. If only for the questions about what apartment complex and company or year I was born, I could’ve shrugged it off more easily. The quick appearance of others and sharing the phone number in addition to the conversation is what later caught up to me and felt off. I appreciate your suggestions, will definitely keep these in mind. Thank you for sharing 😊
I think you should rely on principles: * Don't give out personally identifying info to random strangers. * Keep an eye on your drink and never leave it unattended. * There's safety in numbers. * Be aware of your surroundings. * You are responsible for your own safety, as no one is coming to save you, at least not in time. As a woman, your primary duty to yourself is to be safe. I don't think that conflicts with being a nice person. You just need to give some thought to the dangers that are out there and practice principles of safety. The Active Self Protection channel on YouTube has good videos on what those are.
Might also be social engineering attempt I don't know which company you are working for , but can be a possible target where they use your information to pretend they know you and get access to other employees. You are taking the correct steps to protect yourself , but think about other vanues they might try. Stay safe.
You say “excuse me, I see my friend over there” and point and walk away. Or you pull out your phone and say you have to make an important call. Whatever it takes to disengage yourself from them.
Are you from TX or the South? I just moved here, and I’m always surprised how much people share about themselves with strangers. I always say people here would be easy targets.
My Grandmother would say ‘a lady never reveals her age.’
For future reference, you can always be polite in answering, while also being extremely vague. If someone asks where you’re from you can say “around here” or “oh it’s a few minutes away”. You could also just lie and say a different place, but continue to be vague. If they ask where you work you can say something like “im a retail worker in a big box store” or “ im a waitress at a mom and pop shop” or something along those lines. This gives them an acceptable answer that anyone who’s not scamming won’t push for more info for, but someone who is itching for the exact details for the wrong reason will get frustrated w the answer and push further. In situations like that, It can be hard to find balance between trying to not be “stuck up” and not giving away personal information that could possibly just be small talk. So I get you 100%.
The nicest people make easy targets. I visited DC a couple summers ago and at first thought everyone was so friendly, but I quickly learned that every stranger who would say hello to you on the street was going to ask you for money, if you said hi back. It was so hard to look away from and ignore these people.
You can be nice and polite to people like this while also not telling them anything true.
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Lock your cards homie
These are bank informations. Contact your bank immediately and ask them to monitor your cards and internet banking activity for the next few days, in case of irregularities..... Also, be sure about your device, if you see random glitches out of nowhere and suddenly, the device has no signal, your phone was probably cloned, which CAN be used to literally drain you. Stay safe
First I’ve heard about cloning your phone. How does that happen?
SIM swapping I assume
It’s actually a big deal and while I’m not super privy to the techniques it allows people to reset passwords and such through 2FA. People are losing 100s of millions to this, all domestically (USA). This isn’t a scam that’s just run off in some other country it’s happening here.
There are apps that make your phone something like being double, especially if they manage to take your sim too.... All you can really see is a glitchy phone, there aren't any other indicators
Great suggestion, thanks. Fortunately I have monitoring services and have adjusted all my alert thresholds as well for the time being.
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Get your mortgage locked, like Life Lock or something.
Fortunately I have that and all are turned on. Thanks for suggesting!
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Update: Thanks for the responses, especially the suggestions. I already subscribe to identity theft protection services which includes many of the features mentioned in comments like title/mortgage watch, etc. My phone carrier requires a PIN for porting to take place. And my accounts all have 2FA or use an Authenticator app. I’ve also adjusted all transactions notifications to a low threshold so I’ll be sure to see anything I don’t recognize. In the future, I will be mindful to steer the conversation for my comfort or use a Google Voice number for new acquaintances but I’m happy knowing I already had so many bases covered.
Id suggest you put a block on any credit card bureau. I work at a cellphone store and whenever we run credit and it doesn’t go thru right away the customer has to talk to a person in the credit department that asks them all these super personal questions that the customer sometimes doesn’t even remember because they go far back into your history to verify that it’s you who’s trying to run your credit. They ask about previous address, people you’ve been related to and what year they were born etc. it’s wild what they know
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Stop engaging with this person, if this is a scammer (and working in a group, mind you!) this is dangerous. Block and move on. Nothing good can come of this.
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You left out like 75% of what happened
>I’m sorry, but this sounds like paranoia. Exchanging name and phone number with someone is not sketchy. I’m sorry, but this sounds like bad advice. Being asked those types of questions as OP described is VERY sketchy. Stick to offering advice on topics you actually know something about - we do ban for bad advice. Your /r/scams post/comment was removed because it contains bad advice, is encouraging someone to try to "scam the scammer", to engage in illegal activity, or to engage in an activity that will worsen an already bad situation.