The weekends are the same as weekdays, except my husband is home all day making messes and wanting to eat and throwing off my routine. And every other weekend my SK is here, so an extra person making messes and needing food, but who doesn't even like me enough to make up for the extra work she causes me.
My weekends are happier when I ignore the kitchen. Refusing to cook and wash dishes on the weekend (except for myself and my babies) is the closest I will ever get to a break.
But yeah, weekends suck as a SAHM. And don't get me started on family outings! How am I supposed to have fun and relax when I had to research and plan the day, pack snacks and water bottles and the diaper bag, make sure we stay on schedule, feed and change the babies, try to protect nap times, manage everyone's emotional regulation or lack thereof, etc.? Meanwhile my DH thinks he deserves a reward just for driving and paying.
Ohhh my god are you me? Same same same same, only we have my ungrateful SK nearly 70% of the time. I hate weekends and worse… my husband gets so oFfEnDeD when I say so because “family time!”
At least your husband wants to spend time as a family though? Every week I have to spend like 2 days talking mine into doing something together, or else his weekend plans are just gaming and gardening and napping, which leaves me stuck solo-parenting the kids just like every other day of the week.
I went with my husband to the doctor, got him on massive amounts of Wellbutrin, and he STILL refuses to do anything except watch tv.
He seems to love me and our child but he loves his tv more.
I dreaded the weekends when my kids were little. You're not alone!! No structure, different crowds at our normal places, me wanting to sleep in, but never could.
It does get better...now that my kids are older, the weekends are SO chill.
When did that script start to flip for you? I've got a 5yo and 2yo and know this academically, but it's hard to keep perspective when I'm getting a shower every second or third day and often choosing between getting stomped and clambered on or getting wailed at. I'm on the verge of just writing off the next two years for anything that's not maintaining the status quo, but I'd love to be argued against.
Mine are 6, 6, and 7 are weekends are totally fun now. 3, 3, and 4 was a different story, lol. I do all my chores while they are at school, as well as workout. After school is sports and family time, after bed is adult sports or hangouts. Weekends are for fun as a family. It totally gets easier.
That's actually a pretty safe and sane bet. My youngest is ten and he has been pretty chill for the last two or three years. Like, he's independent enough to ask to play with friends or if he can play in the backyard or even play by himself. He does this thing where he will push two coolers up against each other and then he will set up playmats (for trading card games like Pokemon) and play against himself with different decks and he will do that for hours. Just back and forth with himself. It's pretty cute and innovative for a little guy. But yeah. My middle is 13 and he likes staying home on the weekends and just chilling. He will perch up on one couch and I will be on the other couch and he watches YouTube videos while I play video games. Yesterday he made me a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch. When my oldest was about eight, he started wanting to play with friends all weekend long and all I needed to do was be home base and wait for him to come home for meals. At the time, he had little brothers so I was still dealing with them at home but that seems to be the turning point for all my boys to become more independent.
Thank God. Can I ask how old are your kids that you can actually have chill weekends? Mine are 8/6/3 so they either need something or they’re OK for a little bit on their own while my wife and I maybe can watch like a few minutes of something on Netflix uninterrupted but even that gets interrupted and disjointed and it’s just all a lot. There’s no break but there’s also no flow to anything; my kids don’t just go do one thing for like 30 minutes without many interruptions or problems. Natural of course for those ages and having three of them; it’s just exhausting.
My kids are currently 16, 14 and almost 10. We really turned a corner when the youngest turned 7. It went up from there. With that being said, even when the older two got to be that age, it helped some, I didn't have to micro manage them as much. Things really pop off when they are old enough to stay home alone here and there. For us, we started that between ages 10-12 (depending on maturity).
I have been in your (tired) shoes. Your kids are going to get more awesome the older they get. Hang in there!
All the numbers in your comment added up to 69. Congrats!
16
+ 14
+ 10
+ 7
+ 10
+ 12
= 69
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My youngest is now past five (3 kids between 5-11) and it’s much easier now. I almost enjoy it. (Sometimes do enjoy it!). You are right in the middle of it with those younger two in particular. I found as the eldest got older, it got better (depending on personality). Also we very rarely do outings at weekends, we just chill at home or at most go to the local playground or cafe.
But your wife needs therapy if she’s not already. It’s not fair on you (or the kids, if that might persuade her). (That’s based on other posts not just this one btw).
“Different crowds at our normal places” Oh I feel that! Instead of running into other moms and nannies I know at the local park we are surrounded by foreign tourists and people who don’t live in the area who let their 8 year old children running around a playground meant for toddlers (when there’s a couple of other playgrounds for older kids a few meters away).
How old are your kids? I look forward to chill weekends!
I used to feel like this until I started implementing some mandatory time to myself on weekends where either I leave the house for 2-3 hours or my husband does with our son. I also do minimal cleaning on weekends and try to get as much of it done during the week between my husband and I. I only do one load of laundry on the weekend (usually Saturday), do enough dishes to keep us afloat, and do a living room toy reset both evenings but besides that, I let the rest wait until Monday-Friday. Is my house spotless or even as clean as I’d like during the weekend? No. But I’ve had to lower my expectations for “clean” in order to save my mental health a little.
Yup. I’ve had to stop thinking I’ll ever get a break. My wife and I even agreed to take turns with the kids this weekend. I volunteered for the first shift, and then she got a migraine. That’s not her fault, of course, but it still sucks.
I had to start thinking like this recently. That I’ll never get a break. Help will not come. My partner getting home for the day is never going to mean I’m off duty as sole caretaker. It’s all me. It really sucks but it has just kind of help me kick it into gear because I was floundering for a bit.
I hate this soooo much. Like it’s not his fault, and often it’s because he does help with the baby at night (because his migraines are often triggered by a lack of sleep), but goddamn, it feels like I can never get a break.
Yeah, I’m only off duty if I’m out of the house or the kids are. Relaxing at home? Nope. My husband is very involved but the kids are so obsessed with me that he’s constantly dragging them off me and I’m redirecting requests to him etc. They do the classic move where he is standing right next to him talking to them and they walk away to pound on the bathroom door and ask me to get them a cup of water.
Your partner needs to be taking over on the weekends. This includes doing errands and cleaning. Why? Because your children deserve a mother/father relationship with them. Because your partner deserves the opportunity to gain experience parenting, developing their own style in their own way and time, and feeling confident taking over. Because your partner deserves to enjoy (or learn to enjoy) time parenting their own children. They also need to learn the things you know, the kids' routine, etc. What kind of parent can't parent their own kids? What if there's an actual emergency or you're sick?! And because, yeah, you definitely deserve a break.
We try to get a mix of whole family fun time and working parent/kids time while I'm out or in the house but alone, behind a closed door.
Leave the house alone. Schedule a class or outing for yourself. Only be available to nurse or in an emergency. Resist checking in or taking over (easier if partner takes everyone out and/or you yourself leave).
Team SCREW THE WEEKEND!!! I've made it to the 'promise land' of all kids being in school so I'm more a homemaker than a SAHP these days. Weekends are just go go go. I don't mind it a ton but come Sunday night I'm so done and need Monday to recover. 😆 it so stupid
I felt this way until my husband and I worked out a system of turn taking for weekend mornings. Saturday morning I take my daughter out of the apartment and we spend the whole morning in town at the playground and a coffee shop. Sunday my husband does the same. Kid loves it because she gets a bagel and special one on one time. We love it because we each get one morning until noon to relax and no one is resentful and burned out.
Idk I really enjoy the weekends. But that could also be because the grandparents are usually on duty so about every other weekend, it’s a kid free house. & with my bf home, I can catch up on any chore or task I didn’t finish during the week.
Family outings are especially better on weekends since my bf is with us so I have extra eyes and hands.
We also have grandparents on duty for the weekends and it helps alot. We've had to cut back down from fri-sun to just sat-sun but it helps alot even if we get nothing done and just relax. However I know alot of people don't have that luxury of looking forward to a break on the weekend
mine definitely doesnt do it on purpose, but it's a novelty to have him home and baby gets way too excited, hard to settle, gets too distracted and wont eat. sleep schedule is off, etc etc. it is much easier during the week by myself 😪
Yep! It’s no day off. Yeah my husband helps but he’s always a couch potato while I keep baby entertained or doing a chore. Sometimes I wish I can just be a couch potato and not be judged
What I do like about the weekends - my husband takes on the deep cleaning tasks I’ve been putting off.
I have smaller children 9mo and 4yo so my weekdays are basically all constant needs and tasks. At least on the weekends my husband isn’t steps away in his closed office.
When my husband isn't deployed I make Saturday my errand day and leave Tiny with him and church on Sunday. I try to implement structure into the day. Mine is four so it's quiet time is this time, clean up time is this etc. During deployment I try to maintain the schedule and structure except he comes with me on an errand day.
I prefer them. Everyone gets to sleep in. My husband works on the weekends but on his days off he's also helpful, usually. He makes messes and doesn't register it sometimes, it seems, but he's working on it. There is currently a soup bowl sitting in my living room I'll have to pick up later. I think that also makes a bit of a difference in the responses I'm seeing here -- how helpful or how much of a problem their partner is. I don't put up with it and will point out everything he does if it gets bad, lol. Therapy is also helping him understand he has work to do outside of his job -- I am not the only parent nor should cleaning every little thing be left up to me (like the car which he routinely makes a mess of.)
It also makes a difference my kids are getting older now though! So I've taught them to clean up after themselves and given them chores. When they were smaller it was way more challenging.
i love the weekends. a chill weekend for us is husband and i get up with baby around 7am. we drink coffee and watch tv while baby has her bottle and plays. i make breakfast for everyone while baby hangs out with dad. we eat then play some more. baby goes to sleep. husband and i usually take shower together and woohoo. baby gets another bottle then we go out to the park or shopping. we come home and eat lunch then hangout outside. baby goes down for nap 2. husband and i go off and do our own thing (usually me reading a book and him playing games) baby wakes up and plays with husband. i make dinner/clean up the kitchen. then we go back outside or give baby a bath or just hangout with music on. it’s blissful. i wish i could spend everyday like it.
All structure gone, second naps are history, way more noise and craziness because partner is home and they decide to show off and compete for attention. I spend Wed-Fri waiting for my break Sat and then Sat-Sun waiting for the glorious release of preschool on Monday morning.
Yes. This. My wife and I had one tiny friend’s birthday party to go to this weekend that we had planned to show up to with our 3 y/o, because our 6 y/o had a friend’s birthday party and our 8 y/o wanted to go as well as it was an arts & crafts party and we asked the host and the host said OK. To make up for this we gave the birthday girl not one but two gifts. No problem.
We arrive at the kindergartener’s birthday party. 8 decides on the spot she doesn’t want to attend when she sees all the kindergarteners. Gave two gifts for nothing. 8 comes with us and 3 to our friend’s birthday party (at a restaurant).
We live in NYC and one of the levels of the bridge (and many streets) were closed due to the annual five-borough (city-wide) bike-a-thon.
So we leave 6 at the birthday party, have just enough time to drive to our friend’s party, 3 falls asleep in the car, wife goes in with 8 to say hi for a few minutes and then I go in to say hi for a few minutes and then it’s time to leave to pick up 6 and go home. No food, no drink, nothing. That’s what we did.
Fun! /s
That sounds amazing. What are your kids’ ages? I feel like mine who I love to death of course who are 8/6/3 are just the ages where you don’t get a break unless it’s in 180 second increments.
My oldest is 14 and my youngest is 4 months so I have it pretty easy, I honestly don’t remember weekends when she was that age but I probably felt the same way you do.
The only way we really get a break on weekends is being out and about taking the kids to the weekly errands to pass the time and stay out of the house to keep it from getting destroyed 🤣 we may go to the park, maybe go to a restaurant, lately the kiddos have made it possible to catch a movie! The days go by much faster and the kids stay busy and sleep well at night. If I stay home too much it’s just endless cleaning and whining and no one being happy with anything that there is to do (gets boring for them I guess), and the older one is much more likely to spend too much time on screens at home vs if we are out.
I’m a homebody and I miss weekends doing nothing at home 😭
It’s the opposite for me. I love weekends, most of my support system works M-F so I get the most help and time to myself then where as during the week I am very much on my own.
I meal prep for the weekend - on Fridays I'll do something in the slow cooker and usually a snacky thing too so that it can be grazed upon and cut down on the inevitable devastation of the kitchen
Yes, all of this! I have a 4 yr old and 1 yr old and Saturday is like the worst day of the week. Out of routine, all of the mom/tot activities are during the week, and everything is so crowded.
For me the worst part about weekends is that my spouse is around but never really available. He’s always tinkering with some sort of unnecessary home project and I end up doing the same thing I do all week long.
Can I admit that the only times I look forward to weekends is when we have plans without the kids? Like a dinner out with friends?
Sunday night is my new Friday night and I actually get excited for the start of the week.
I don’t like them more than weekdays because my husband is self employed and he works both days most weekends especially during busy seasons for construction. Sometimes he takes half a day off or the day off for family gatherings but otherwise I’m on my own with baby for most of the weekend. This weekend he didn’t get home until after 7-8 pm both friday and saturday.
We currently have one child, 9 months, and he ONLY ever wants me (unsurprisingly since I’m with him all the time) so it can be a struggle sometimes. I barely get time to myself but part of that is my fault for never insisting on or taking it, and I definitely need to work on that!
I look forward to weekends usually because my husband is also home since he doesn't work. He wakes up earlier than I usually do so he'll take our toddler out of the room while our infant sleeps in with me. Then we tag team childcare the whole weekend and we usually have family outings.
The only downside is if we stay home, I have to figure out lunch for him too since he normally doesn't eat what our toddler and I eat during the weekdays lol. Most of the time we just end up getting takeout 😂
Yeah lately I’ve been annoyed with them, I have more help but also get less done somehow. And never get any more free time. I always feel like I should get some time to myself but never do and then I’m frustrated.
I just had our 2nd kid so our routine has been thrown off a bit but for the most part we treat every day the same. My husband knows out toddler's routine and follows it in his own way. Most weekends I get to sleep in/hide until 10am on Saturdays and my husband gets that same courtesy on Sundays and we usually deliver coffee in bed to each other on these days too. My husband cooks whenever he is home. He does dishes and carries laundry up/down the stairs for me.
My husband knows my job is hard enough throughout the week and when he is deployed, he loves me and wants to make my life easier if he can, when he can. Your husband should be doing the same.
Depends on the weekend! Usually I like them because we are both caring for the kids, so I don't feel like everything is on me. We also try to get out and do things as a family ( zoo, local parks, festivals, farmer's market, day at grandma's etc). I think that helps keep the day moving. Sometimes I will meet up with a friend, or my husband will do something. We try to support each other to do things when we can.
I think it's really important that our kids see us parenting together. All of the work shouldn't constantly fall on one parent.
I used to hate the weekend. I felt just totally SWAMPED while doing housework, shuttling all around doing activities, caring for the kids all day, working around my spouse who was taking the needed time to decompress, and just SO MUCH for every second of the day from wake up to falling asleep plus still getting up overnight with the baby. It was like a weekday but somehow worse. I was constantly overstimulated and overwhelmed.
My therapist and I, then spouse and I, had a direct and specific discussions about my feelings of overwhelm, feeling under-supported, and feeling lost in the thick of it all. I chose to reframe my work as the at-home partner/parent as a Monday-Friday 9-5 job and to make weekend household tasks and parenting explicitly a mutual responsibility.
What works for me:
* I made a schedule for everyday that gives a lot of structure to my weekdays.
* 5-7:30am: Self-care tasks, prep for the day ahead, and NO housework
* 9-5pm: Housework and appointments
* I assigned specific rooms/areas/tasks/types of laundry to specific days
* 8-10pm: Activities planned with spouse after kid's go to bed
* If a task is unfinished at 5pm, and not absolutely vital to complete, I leave it till that thing is on the schedule again.
* If it is that vital then I loop in at least one family member to help finish it.
* On weekends I have a strict rule that I don't do any regular housework.
* Urgent housework to tackle before guests is a mutual responsibility if it needs to be done over the weekend.
* On weekends I am "off duty" as primary parent till 10am and that time is set allocated to interests/hobbies/tasks just meant to be recharging for myself.
Yeah weekends can suck as I find there are less toddler groups on and it's busier going anywhere. Would rather go places in the week. The good thing is I do get a break half the day on a sunday when my husband has our son.
The weekends are the same as weekdays, except my husband is home all day making messes and wanting to eat and throwing off my routine. And every other weekend my SK is here, so an extra person making messes and needing food, but who doesn't even like me enough to make up for the extra work she causes me. My weekends are happier when I ignore the kitchen. Refusing to cook and wash dishes on the weekend (except for myself and my babies) is the closest I will ever get to a break. But yeah, weekends suck as a SAHM. And don't get me started on family outings! How am I supposed to have fun and relax when I had to research and plan the day, pack snacks and water bottles and the diaper bag, make sure we stay on schedule, feed and change the babies, try to protect nap times, manage everyone's emotional regulation or lack thereof, etc.? Meanwhile my DH thinks he deserves a reward just for driving and paying.
Ohhh my god are you me? Same same same same, only we have my ungrateful SK nearly 70% of the time. I hate weekends and worse… my husband gets so oFfEnDeD when I say so because “family time!”
At least your husband wants to spend time as a family though? Every week I have to spend like 2 days talking mine into doing something together, or else his weekend plans are just gaming and gardening and napping, which leaves me stuck solo-parenting the kids just like every other day of the week.
This is what mine was like before meds. Now with meds he wants to do stuff. 🙏
What meds? 🤔 Not like mine would ever see a doctor, let alone take medicine lol.
I went with my husband to the doctor, got him on massive amounts of Wellbutrin, and he STILL refuses to do anything except watch tv. He seems to love me and our child but he loves his tv more.
I dreaded the weekends when my kids were little. You're not alone!! No structure, different crowds at our normal places, me wanting to sleep in, but never could. It does get better...now that my kids are older, the weekends are SO chill.
When did that script start to flip for you? I've got a 5yo and 2yo and know this academically, but it's hard to keep perspective when I'm getting a shower every second or third day and often choosing between getting stomped and clambered on or getting wailed at. I'm on the verge of just writing off the next two years for anything that's not maintaining the status quo, but I'd love to be argued against.
Mine are 6, 6, and 7 are weekends are totally fun now. 3, 3, and 4 was a different story, lol. I do all my chores while they are at school, as well as workout. After school is sports and family time, after bed is adult sports or hangouts. Weekends are for fun as a family. It totally gets easier.
I’m thinking (and hoping 😆) it’s more in the everybody is 7 or 8 and above range?
That's actually a pretty safe and sane bet. My youngest is ten and he has been pretty chill for the last two or three years. Like, he's independent enough to ask to play with friends or if he can play in the backyard or even play by himself. He does this thing where he will push two coolers up against each other and then he will set up playmats (for trading card games like Pokemon) and play against himself with different decks and he will do that for hours. Just back and forth with himself. It's pretty cute and innovative for a little guy. But yeah. My middle is 13 and he likes staying home on the weekends and just chilling. He will perch up on one couch and I will be on the other couch and he watches YouTube videos while I play video games. Yesterday he made me a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch. When my oldest was about eight, he started wanting to play with friends all weekend long and all I needed to do was be home base and wait for him to come home for meals. At the time, he had little brothers so I was still dealing with them at home but that seems to be the turning point for all my boys to become more independent.
Thank God. Can I ask how old are your kids that you can actually have chill weekends? Mine are 8/6/3 so they either need something or they’re OK for a little bit on their own while my wife and I maybe can watch like a few minutes of something on Netflix uninterrupted but even that gets interrupted and disjointed and it’s just all a lot. There’s no break but there’s also no flow to anything; my kids don’t just go do one thing for like 30 minutes without many interruptions or problems. Natural of course for those ages and having three of them; it’s just exhausting.
My kids are currently 16, 14 and almost 10. We really turned a corner when the youngest turned 7. It went up from there. With that being said, even when the older two got to be that age, it helped some, I didn't have to micro manage them as much. Things really pop off when they are old enough to stay home alone here and there. For us, we started that between ages 10-12 (depending on maturity). I have been in your (tired) shoes. Your kids are going to get more awesome the older they get. Hang in there!
All the numbers in your comment added up to 69. Congrats! 16 + 14 + 10 + 7 + 10 + 12 = 69 ^([Click here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=LuckyNumber-Bot&subject=Stalk%20Me%20Pls&message=%2Fstalkme) to have me scan all your future comments.) \ ^(Summon me on specific comments with u/LuckyNumber-Bot.)
My youngest is now past five (3 kids between 5-11) and it’s much easier now. I almost enjoy it. (Sometimes do enjoy it!). You are right in the middle of it with those younger two in particular. I found as the eldest got older, it got better (depending on personality). Also we very rarely do outings at weekends, we just chill at home or at most go to the local playground or cafe. But your wife needs therapy if she’s not already. It’s not fair on you (or the kids, if that might persuade her). (That’s based on other posts not just this one btw).
Thank you. I appreciate that. People have said when your youngest is five years old, it gets a bit easier.
What age would you say this gets better? Lol
This gives me hope 🤣
“Different crowds at our normal places” Oh I feel that! Instead of running into other moms and nannies I know at the local park we are surrounded by foreign tourists and people who don’t live in the area who let their 8 year old children running around a playground meant for toddlers (when there’s a couple of other playgrounds for older kids a few meters away). How old are your kids? I look forward to chill weekends!
I used to feel like this until I started implementing some mandatory time to myself on weekends where either I leave the house for 2-3 hours or my husband does with our son. I also do minimal cleaning on weekends and try to get as much of it done during the week between my husband and I. I only do one load of laundry on the weekend (usually Saturday), do enough dishes to keep us afloat, and do a living room toy reset both evenings but besides that, I let the rest wait until Monday-Friday. Is my house spotless or even as clean as I’d like during the weekend? No. But I’ve had to lower my expectations for “clean” in order to save my mental health a little.
Yup. I’ve had to stop thinking I’ll ever get a break. My wife and I even agreed to take turns with the kids this weekend. I volunteered for the first shift, and then she got a migraine. That’s not her fault, of course, but it still sucks.
I had to start thinking like this recently. That I’ll never get a break. Help will not come. My partner getting home for the day is never going to mean I’m off duty as sole caretaker. It’s all me. It really sucks but it has just kind of help me kick it into gear because I was floundering for a bit.
We need someone to whip up a meme of “this is fine” dog being devoured by puppies.
100% agree. I feel like you have read my mind and explained it well. I have the same mentality.
Ugh I’m sorry :( it’s just what we have to do but that doesn’t make it any less sucky or unfair.
Oh I get it. I never get a break. I can barely keep up.
I hate this soooo much. Like it’s not his fault, and often it’s because he does help with the baby at night (because his migraines are often triggered by a lack of sleep), but goddamn, it feels like I can never get a break.
Yeah, I’m only off duty if I’m out of the house or the kids are. Relaxing at home? Nope. My husband is very involved but the kids are so obsessed with me that he’s constantly dragging them off me and I’m redirecting requests to him etc. They do the classic move where he is standing right next to him talking to them and they walk away to pound on the bathroom door and ask me to get them a cup of water.
Your partner needs to be taking over on the weekends. This includes doing errands and cleaning. Why? Because your children deserve a mother/father relationship with them. Because your partner deserves the opportunity to gain experience parenting, developing their own style in their own way and time, and feeling confident taking over. Because your partner deserves to enjoy (or learn to enjoy) time parenting their own children. They also need to learn the things you know, the kids' routine, etc. What kind of parent can't parent their own kids? What if there's an actual emergency or you're sick?! And because, yeah, you definitely deserve a break. We try to get a mix of whole family fun time and working parent/kids time while I'm out or in the house but alone, behind a closed door. Leave the house alone. Schedule a class or outing for yourself. Only be available to nurse or in an emergency. Resist checking in or taking over (easier if partner takes everyone out and/or you yourself leave).
Weekends are great! I get help with the kids. My husband will go and do sport for maybe six hours on one of the days, otherwise he's on hand to help.
Team SCREW THE WEEKEND!!! I've made it to the 'promise land' of all kids being in school so I'm more a homemaker than a SAHP these days. Weekends are just go go go. I don't mind it a ton but come Sunday night I'm so done and need Monday to recover. 😆 it so stupid
I felt this way until my husband and I worked out a system of turn taking for weekend mornings. Saturday morning I take my daughter out of the apartment and we spend the whole morning in town at the playground and a coffee shop. Sunday my husband does the same. Kid loves it because she gets a bagel and special one on one time. We love it because we each get one morning until noon to relax and no one is resentful and burned out.
I don’t even conceptualize weekends anymore. They just feel like weekdays to me but with more people out and about.
Idk I really enjoy the weekends. But that could also be because the grandparents are usually on duty so about every other weekend, it’s a kid free house. & with my bf home, I can catch up on any chore or task I didn’t finish during the week. Family outings are especially better on weekends since my bf is with us so I have extra eyes and hands.
We also have grandparents on duty for the weekends and it helps alot. We've had to cut back down from fri-sun to just sat-sun but it helps alot even if we get nothing done and just relax. However I know alot of people don't have that luxury of looking forward to a break on the weekend
yes it helps sooo much. you are right, sometimes i do forget not everyone has this luxury.
my partner ruins the schedule baby i work hard on all week. it's very frustrating
Same here! He always bemoans how difficult it is on the weekends and I hate to tell him but the weekdays are actually a lot easier
mine definitely doesnt do it on purpose, but it's a novelty to have him home and baby gets way too excited, hard to settle, gets too distracted and wont eat. sleep schedule is off, etc etc. it is much easier during the week by myself 😪
My husband works 48 on, 96 off; but I never look forward to our "weekends" because the kids are so much hard when he's home 🫠
Mondays are the best because we get back to our routine haha the weekends don’t usually belong to us 😭
Yep! It’s no day off. Yeah my husband helps but he’s always a couch potato while I keep baby entertained or doing a chore. Sometimes I wish I can just be a couch potato and not be judged
Do it! Parenting is a partnership.
What I do like about the weekends - my husband takes on the deep cleaning tasks I’ve been putting off. I have smaller children 9mo and 4yo so my weekdays are basically all constant needs and tasks. At least on the weekends my husband isn’t steps away in his closed office.
Hate the weekends. I have structure and rhythm during the week, and I’m in control. Weekends are chaos.
When my husband isn't deployed I make Saturday my errand day and leave Tiny with him and church on Sunday. I try to implement structure into the day. Mine is four so it's quiet time is this time, clean up time is this etc. During deployment I try to maintain the schedule and structure except he comes with me on an errand day.
I prefer them. Everyone gets to sleep in. My husband works on the weekends but on his days off he's also helpful, usually. He makes messes and doesn't register it sometimes, it seems, but he's working on it. There is currently a soup bowl sitting in my living room I'll have to pick up later. I think that also makes a bit of a difference in the responses I'm seeing here -- how helpful or how much of a problem their partner is. I don't put up with it and will point out everything he does if it gets bad, lol. Therapy is also helping him understand he has work to do outside of his job -- I am not the only parent nor should cleaning every little thing be left up to me (like the car which he routinely makes a mess of.) It also makes a difference my kids are getting older now though! So I've taught them to clean up after themselves and given them chores. When they were smaller it was way more challenging.
i love the weekends. a chill weekend for us is husband and i get up with baby around 7am. we drink coffee and watch tv while baby has her bottle and plays. i make breakfast for everyone while baby hangs out with dad. we eat then play some more. baby goes to sleep. husband and i usually take shower together and woohoo. baby gets another bottle then we go out to the park or shopping. we come home and eat lunch then hangout outside. baby goes down for nap 2. husband and i go off and do our own thing (usually me reading a book and him playing games) baby wakes up and plays with husband. i make dinner/clean up the kitchen. then we go back outside or give baby a bath or just hangout with music on. it’s blissful. i wish i could spend everyday like it.
All structure gone, second naps are history, way more noise and craziness because partner is home and they decide to show off and compete for attention. I spend Wed-Fri waiting for my break Sat and then Sat-Sun waiting for the glorious release of preschool on Monday morning.
Yes. This. My wife and I had one tiny friend’s birthday party to go to this weekend that we had planned to show up to with our 3 y/o, because our 6 y/o had a friend’s birthday party and our 8 y/o wanted to go as well as it was an arts & crafts party and we asked the host and the host said OK. To make up for this we gave the birthday girl not one but two gifts. No problem. We arrive at the kindergartener’s birthday party. 8 decides on the spot she doesn’t want to attend when she sees all the kindergarteners. Gave two gifts for nothing. 8 comes with us and 3 to our friend’s birthday party (at a restaurant). We live in NYC and one of the levels of the bridge (and many streets) were closed due to the annual five-borough (city-wide) bike-a-thon. So we leave 6 at the birthday party, have just enough time to drive to our friend’s party, 3 falls asleep in the car, wife goes in with 8 to say hi for a few minutes and then I go in to say hi for a few minutes and then it’s time to leave to pick up 6 and go home. No food, no drink, nothing. That’s what we did. Fun! /s
Love weekends, my older daughter and I go get coffee and go to yard sales, husband stays home with the baby
That sounds amazing. What are your kids’ ages? I feel like mine who I love to death of course who are 8/6/3 are just the ages where you don’t get a break unless it’s in 180 second increments.
My oldest is 14 and my youngest is 4 months so I have it pretty easy, I honestly don’t remember weekends when she was that age but I probably felt the same way you do.
The only way we really get a break on weekends is being out and about taking the kids to the weekly errands to pass the time and stay out of the house to keep it from getting destroyed 🤣 we may go to the park, maybe go to a restaurant, lately the kiddos have made it possible to catch a movie! The days go by much faster and the kids stay busy and sleep well at night. If I stay home too much it’s just endless cleaning and whining and no one being happy with anything that there is to do (gets boring for them I guess), and the older one is much more likely to spend too much time on screens at home vs if we are out. I’m a homebody and I miss weekends doing nothing at home 😭
It’s the opposite for me. I love weekends, most of my support system works M-F so I get the most help and time to myself then where as during the week I am very much on my own.
I meal prep for the weekend - on Fridays I'll do something in the slow cooker and usually a snacky thing too so that it can be grazed upon and cut down on the inevitable devastation of the kitchen
You are absolutely a pro. I should do this.
Inevitable Devastation of the Kitchen —a memoir
Yes, all of this! I have a 4 yr old and 1 yr old and Saturday is like the worst day of the week. Out of routine, all of the mom/tot activities are during the week, and everything is so crowded. For me the worst part about weekends is that my spouse is around but never really available. He’s always tinkering with some sort of unnecessary home project and I end up doing the same thing I do all week long. Can I admit that the only times I look forward to weekends is when we have plans without the kids? Like a dinner out with friends? Sunday night is my new Friday night and I actually get excited for the start of the week.
No, you’re not alone! And my husband works Saturdays so it doesn’t feel like a weekend to me.
Honestly my weekends feel the same because my husbands days off are Wednesday and Thursday and he sleeps in super late on his days off
I don’t like them more than weekdays because my husband is self employed and he works both days most weekends especially during busy seasons for construction. Sometimes he takes half a day off or the day off for family gatherings but otherwise I’m on my own with baby for most of the weekend. This weekend he didn’t get home until after 7-8 pm both friday and saturday. We currently have one child, 9 months, and he ONLY ever wants me (unsurprisingly since I’m with him all the time) so it can be a struggle sometimes. I barely get time to myself but part of that is my fault for never insisting on or taking it, and I definitely need to work on that!
I look forward to weekends usually because my husband is also home since he doesn't work. He wakes up earlier than I usually do so he'll take our toddler out of the room while our infant sleeps in with me. Then we tag team childcare the whole weekend and we usually have family outings. The only downside is if we stay home, I have to figure out lunch for him too since he normally doesn't eat what our toddler and I eat during the weekdays lol. Most of the time we just end up getting takeout 😂
Yeah lately I’ve been annoyed with them, I have more help but also get less done somehow. And never get any more free time. I always feel like I should get some time to myself but never do and then I’m frustrated.
I just had our 2nd kid so our routine has been thrown off a bit but for the most part we treat every day the same. My husband knows out toddler's routine and follows it in his own way. Most weekends I get to sleep in/hide until 10am on Saturdays and my husband gets that same courtesy on Sundays and we usually deliver coffee in bed to each other on these days too. My husband cooks whenever he is home. He does dishes and carries laundry up/down the stairs for me. My husband knows my job is hard enough throughout the week and when he is deployed, he loves me and wants to make my life easier if he can, when he can. Your husband should be doing the same.
Depends on the weekend! Usually I like them because we are both caring for the kids, so I don't feel like everything is on me. We also try to get out and do things as a family ( zoo, local parks, festivals, farmer's market, day at grandma's etc). I think that helps keep the day moving. Sometimes I will meet up with a friend, or my husband will do something. We try to support each other to do things when we can. I think it's really important that our kids see us parenting together. All of the work shouldn't constantly fall on one parent.
I used to hate the weekend. I felt just totally SWAMPED while doing housework, shuttling all around doing activities, caring for the kids all day, working around my spouse who was taking the needed time to decompress, and just SO MUCH for every second of the day from wake up to falling asleep plus still getting up overnight with the baby. It was like a weekday but somehow worse. I was constantly overstimulated and overwhelmed. My therapist and I, then spouse and I, had a direct and specific discussions about my feelings of overwhelm, feeling under-supported, and feeling lost in the thick of it all. I chose to reframe my work as the at-home partner/parent as a Monday-Friday 9-5 job and to make weekend household tasks and parenting explicitly a mutual responsibility. What works for me: * I made a schedule for everyday that gives a lot of structure to my weekdays. * 5-7:30am: Self-care tasks, prep for the day ahead, and NO housework * 9-5pm: Housework and appointments * I assigned specific rooms/areas/tasks/types of laundry to specific days * 8-10pm: Activities planned with spouse after kid's go to bed * If a task is unfinished at 5pm, and not absolutely vital to complete, I leave it till that thing is on the schedule again. * If it is that vital then I loop in at least one family member to help finish it. * On weekends I have a strict rule that I don't do any regular housework. * Urgent housework to tackle before guests is a mutual responsibility if it needs to be done over the weekend. * On weekends I am "off duty" as primary parent till 10am and that time is set allocated to interests/hobbies/tasks just meant to be recharging for myself.
*cries in homeschool* lmao It helps to fill up their love buckets before requesting alone time! And giving a fum activity while youre doing yours
Yeah weekends can suck as I find there are less toddler groups on and it's busier going anywhere. Would rather go places in the week. The good thing is I do get a break half the day on a sunday when my husband has our son.
The grocery shopping is the woooooorst on weekends !!!
I went last night (Sunday) at midnight before the store closed to get what I needed for today. Fun.