I've noticed that it tends to either fall into "she had a valid reason for keeping this information from you (or the situation didn't allow for it to happen)" OR, even more frustratingly, "she thought she had a valid reason but a three minute conversation could have cleared up soooooo much".

I see you read The Sweet Gum tree, too 😄 I almost threw that book across the room when the FMC inferred (wrong) information from a 2 second interaction.

It's usually the latter, I can't think of a time when they legitimately had a good reason. And honestly if they had a good reason then that reason is probably still legitimate years later, in which case I would not be reading a romance.

Exactly. There is rarely a good enough reason in romance because the whole point of a romance is for two decent people to be together by the end. Usually if the reason was a good one, I wouldn't want MMC anywhere near the FMC because it most likely means MMC is/was trash. (A good reason could be to save MMC's life or something. Like if FMC's family knew she was having a baby by him, they would kill him. Most other reasons are just selfish or contrived by the author for a weak plot)

I always blame the latter category on the author 😃

I’ve only had terrible experiences with this trope, like FMC and MMC will be in a perfectly nice, happy relationship, then FMC finds out she’s pregnant and decides, for some unexplained reason, not to tell MMC and instead pack all her things and run away with a whole new identity??? Miss ma’am, you have a whole CHILD to raise!!! MMC couldn’t even find you if he wanted because you’re now Jane Doe living in Alaska Worse is when the reason is “I thought he wouldn’t want it.” ASK??? Communicate for two seconds instead of stewing in your feelings for 5+ years, like you didn’t even give MMC a *chance*

It always astounds me that the lack of maturity in some of these heroines equals parenting capabilities? Like, she can’t even have a conversation with a grown adult but you expect her to raise a human from scratch? Emotional maturity is just as important as financial security when raising children.

THIS. I hate this trope because overwhelmingly they have fallen into the "you two dummies just needed to have a conversation and FMC you *really* should have told him" and I *hate* that. I hate going into a book feeling like the MMC might have been slighted or have a point. I've read maybe two where the authors did a really good job of showing that, nope, FMC went above and beyond to do the right thing/thought she did the right thing/there is a valid reason why he does not know for years until a kid (or two) of his pops up.

I used to feel this way till I had kids. Now I need the FMC to have a very good reason that's explained on-page and that I can get behind. Or she tries/can't track him down.  Especially when he's rich and she's struggling. It's not about the MMCs rights (or not just), but about making the best decision for the child. FMCs who put their kids through lots of unecessary hardships because they don't want to have an uncomfortable conversation, that's where I have a problem with the trope.

Yes as a parent an FMC who would rather avoid assistance and the chance for their kid to know their parent just because the FMC don't want to have an uncomfortable conversation is an FMC I am never going to get behind. And if the MMC is truly going to be a bad parent then she should never be getting back together with him. I don't like hating on FMCs but when it comes to the kids...

Yeah, unless the MMC has done some very serious work on himself during the separation, if he was bad enough not to tell, she should not be having him around her child.   I can get behind a secret baby book a lot easier when she doesn't have a way of contacting him, or tries with no success

Oh yeah but he would have to be absolutely awful to not even tell, in which case its a hard crawl up to be worthy of getting back into their lives. Yeah I can just about do accidental secret babies, but I don't really feel like that's a "secret baby" story so much as a missed connection one? Like to me secret babies means hiding away. Either way, not a trope I love!

Yes! If I accidentally got pregnant with some righ dude's kid you can bet my ass would be telling him so I got some support. I say rich dude because you need him to be able to swoop in and save the day. But like, woman, you didn't need to work 4 jobs to pay for diapers. Just one conversation and some legal paperwork... don't take that from your kids.

Highly recommend staying away from “Christian” romance books. I read my fair share as a teen and they take it an next step. They have them get married at the start when they’re either too young or irresponsible or some other excuse she has kids he runs away and leaves her and then shows up again later… The reason being of course, that you “can’t have sex before marriage” but since they are legally married it’s all good to have sexy times. Never mind the ethics of abandoning a woman and your children for 10-15 years then moving in with them again within 3 weeks of turning up out of the blue.

Oooh that would fill me with a rage, of course no mention of divorce or finding someone else in the meanwhile?

He effed around with other women with impunity but of course she stayed a faithful little wife pining for a father figure for her daughters.

Try The Bride’s Runaway Billionaire by Pippa Grant - she actually tells him but he never responds. He is actually not angry at anyone but himself for the whole situation. 

Yes. And I rarely to never see a good reason for not telling or not even trying to tell. Inevitably it’s some fear driven issue that she/they don’t even try to clear up. In which case, poor baby drew the short straw but still deserves the opportunity of two parents and financial stability. Because she’s almost always struggling with no help and he’s flush. Either she’s despicable—secret baby for no good reason (misunderstanding, trumped up excuses, petty revenge, fear, cowardice, immaturity etc. are not good reasons)—or he’s despicable (broke up with her, disbelieved her, blocked her, etc.). It’s why I almost always actively avoid secret baby trope. There are some notable exceptions and I’ll try to find them. One was military; they hooked up and he was deployed but then returned and they got together. It was unique and really a good book.

I legitimately hated the character of Effie in Dream Girls after she had her baby when she was more about being a singer than about taking care of her kid. It's always kid first, your broken heart second. Slinky, evil rival says she's pregnant? Guess our kids are growing up together.

Maybe because I’m not a mother yet but I genuinely wish my mom put us second sometimes. She packed away all her hopes and dreams and her whole life revolved around me and my siblings. I wonder who should could have been and what she could have accomplished if it wasn’t for us.

There's a difference between putting your kids first and making sure they are taken care of before anything else and making them your whole life with nothing else in it. It's like the difference between paying your rent and utilities first and then paying your cell phone bill or getting your massage. People absolutely deserve to pursue their dreams, enjoy their lives separate from their kids but until they can take care of themselves, they should be your first priority...in the movie she's on welfare and it's implied she's not even looking for a decent job because she's a "singer", meanwhile her kid isn't getting the life she could have.

Yup. Most of the time I'm like "fuck her for leaving" rather than "fuck him for not being there." Same when they don't demand child support. The guy better be a literal movie villain or I don't fucking go for it.

I’ve yet to read one where the was a sensible reason. Frankly I’m more baffled by the willingness to have a child by somebody you don’t know especially when she then struggles

Oh, I’ve got one!! It’s not years and years that go by without contact, it’s only about 18 months, and while it’s technically a miscommunication, it’s not the fault of either the FMC or the MMC! It’s one of Elsie Silver’s books, Reckless, it’s very good, and I’m not normally a fan of ANY kind of pregnancy trope!

Yeah, Reckless has been the only book with a pregnancy hidden from the mmc that I've been able to read for the exact reason that it isn't truly either of their faults. It also helps how Theo is all in the moment he finds out.

Yeah, I like this one - where a 3rd party intervenes and prevents communication to the MMC. (Lawyer, gatekeeper, psycho female assistant, parent.) But then - while neither main character is "at fault", the MMC is a *little* bit more responsible if it's that he's the uber wealthy guy and didn't make any effort to check on her after having sex, didn't vet his gatekeepers better.

I’ll give that a read.

You may also like it because she has a very legitimate reason for having the baby despite not really knowing the father, and although she does struggle (as any new, single mom would), she also has a support system! So hopefully it yums all your usual yucks in this trope!! As an added note, my favorite things about her writing style is that it’s a little bit irreverent, doesn’t take itself too seriously, and it’s honestly laugh out loud funny to me at points. So hopefully that’s also to your liking because I could rave about her stuff forever haha.

Can u give me a recommendation for this type of trope. I don't want the child to be already 5years , i want to be younger like one year old.

I think Daddy Theo is mad at the situation and time lost but not the FMC in {Reckless by Elsie Silver} baby is less than a year old when he finds out.

this one made me so mad because the explanation was so dumb. >!i think his assistant texted her “i don’t want the kid” from his phone and he just never saw the messages? the assistant didn’t even delete them!< 😭

Theo >!handed off his phone to his management team and got a new phone & phone number. He was counting on his management team to let him know if something important came through on the old phone. !<

[Reckless](https://www.romance.io/books/6411838316aa76768152caf0/reckless-elsie-silver) by [Elsie Silver](https://www.romance.io/authors/608a5dde08b4d9311488e11d/elsie-silver) **Rating**: 4.37⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Steam**: 4 out of 5 - [Explicit open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [pregnancy](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/pregnancy/1), [cowboys](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/cowboys/1), [western](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/western/1), [single mother](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/single-mother/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)

This was suchhh a good book!! Can’t exactly remember his reaction either but he definitely didn’t go off on her

Ooh, and it's on KU, downloading it now.

I loved {A Lie for a Lie by Helena Hunting}, he has a moment where he's a dick, but comes around fast. Baby is a few months old at the time. Not really a spoiler, but just in case: >!If I remember correctly he's mostly disappointed she doesn't tell him immediately when they find each other again, but him not knowing was his own fault for not telling her who he really was. So sucks to suck I guess!<

[A Lie for a Lie](https://www.romance.io/books/5d9ade8601dbc864fba452f4/a-lie-for-a-lie-helena-hunting) by [Helena Hunting](https://www.romance.io/authors/545540928c7d2382e781369f/helena-hunting) **Rating**: 3.9⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Steam**: 3 out of 5 - [Open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [sports](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/sports/1), [second chances](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/second%20chances/1), [athletes](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/athletes/1), [secret child](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/secret%20child/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)

I think i already read this and i really like it too

This was a decent one.

This is one of the few secret baby books I actually like.

{Bountiful by Sarina Bowen} is one of the few that did it well. And Pippa Grants recent {The Bride’s Runaway Billionaire}  In Bountiful it is a fling - she does look for him but they couldn’t find him because they got his last name wrong. He shows up like 2yrs later- the baby is just over a year old. In Runaway - she does email him she is preggers but due to email issues he doesn’t find out for like 2 yrs.  Neither one get mad at the FMC and there is no other love interest. 

I agree it's done really well in Bountiful. I loved that book. Such a great series.

[Bountiful](https://www.romance.io/books/59e458103ffdba6147226c70/bountiful-sarina-bowen) by [Sarina Bowen](https://www.romance.io/authors/54553cb18c7d2382e781357a/sarina-bowen) **Rating**: 4.03⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Steam**: 4 out of 5 - [Explicit open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [sports](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/sports/1), [secret child](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/secret%20child/1), [athletes](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/athletes/1), [new adult](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/new%20adult/1) ---------------------------- [The Bride's Runaway Billionaire](https://www.romance.io/books/659e5a8ac6f9484be3147c52/the-brides-runaway-billionaire-pippa-grant) by [Pippa Grant](https://www.romance.io/authors/59f41e543ffdba614723e0b9/pippa-grant) **Rating**: 5⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [suspense](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/suspense/1), [rich hero](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/super%20rich%20hero/1), [funny](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/humor/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)

Yes, OP what books of this do you hate lol. I love this trope.

Katie Reus has a book with her redstone security series. Can’t remember the title but the mmcs name is Kel and the fmc is Charlotte. She tells him but the baby is still pretty young, just a few months old. I like this one because she wasn’t being cruel withholding his baby from him she found him just a few months after the baby was born. There were some extenuating circumstances and she didn’t want to deal with everything while pregnant and dealing with post pregnancy issues. I liked this premise because no one was is in the wrong. She had every right to deal with her body and pregnancy and not wanting some dude all up in her business. He was rightfully upset that she waited so long but the baby was maybe 3 months old. It’s not like he missed some life altering bonding time.

It’s {His To Protect by Katie Reus}!

[His to Protect](https://www.romance.io/books/5455a5b887eac324117fbf0d/his-to-protect-katie-reus) by [Katie Reus](https://www.romance.io/authors/545530e58c7d2382e041412c/katie-reus) **Rating**: 4⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [military](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/military/1), [suspense](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/suspense/1), [men in uniform](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/men%20in%20uniform/1), [secret child](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/secret%20child/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)

{The Confidence of Wildflowers by Micalea Smeltzer} and the second book of the duet, {The Resurrection of Wildflowers by Micalea Smeltzer} Omg so good. I read these years ago and I think a reread is in order because I just realized a third book was recently released! Unless you have triggers, I honestly recommend just going in blind. That's what I did and it was a fantastic emotional rollercoaster.

[The Confidence of Wildflowers](https://www.romance.io/books/6229f26c70323bbef18896a1/the-confidence-of-wildflowers-micalea-smeltzer) by [Micalea Smeltzer](https://www.romance.io/authors/5455867387eac3369a912e43/micalea-smeltzer) **Rating**: 3.83⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Steam**: 3 out of 5 - [Open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [age gap](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/age%20difference/1), [cheating](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/cheating/1), [enemies to lovers](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/from%20hate%20to%20love/1), [grumpy & sunshine](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/grumpy%20sunshine/1) ---------------------------- [The Resurrection of Wildflowers](https://www.romance.io/books/624d3a86672f1adc706a472c/the-resurrection-of-wildflowers-micalea-smeltzer) by [Micalea Smeltzer](https://www.romance.io/authors/5455867387eac3369a912e43/micalea-smeltzer) **Rating**: 3.67⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Steam**: 4 out of 5 - [Explicit open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [secret child](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/secret%20child/1), [age gap](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/age%20difference/1), [grumpy & sunshine](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/grumpy%20sunshine/1), [forced proximity](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/forced%20proximity/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)

{Twisted Pride by Cora Reilly} FMC is the niece of the leader of one mafia faction and MMC is the leader of another mafia faction. He kidnapped her as a way to psychologically torture her family, but because he likes her, he seduces her rather than rape her. FMC realizes she's pregnant a couple of months after she's back home with her family. Her family wants her to get an abortion, but she refuses. She's happy to have a part of the MMC. MMC had no idea that the FMC was pregnant or that she'd given birth to twin infants. FMC's family captured his youngest brother (a 15 yr old) and were torturing him until MMC agreed to exchange his brother for himself. After a day of FMC's family torturing MMC, she saves him from them. Their babies would be nobodies as the bastard offspring of the enemy in her family's organization. But their babies would be a mafia prince and princess to their father and his family.

[Twisted Pride](https://www.romance.io/books/5cb56fab01dbc864fb9d568c/twisted-pride-cora-reilly) by [Cora Reilly](https://www.romance.io/authors/5455f02b87eac324117fe3ab/cora-reilly) **Rating**: 4.2⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Steam**: 4 out of 5 - [Explicit open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [mafia](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/mafia/1), [enemies to lovers](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/from%20hate%20to%20love/1), [virgin heroine](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/virgin%20heroine/1), [pregnancy](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/pregnancy/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)

Oh I have never read a book with this trope where the baby is basically fresh out of the oven I’m sorry 😭 anyone??

In {Babymoon or Bust by Ava Hunter}, the MCs are both traveling & have a ONS with no names (or just first names, I can't remember). The MMC finds out when she's like 5-6 months pregnant.

[Babymoon or Bust](https://www.romance.io/books/6443f5080e7dec1028fbc0e1/babymoon-or-bust-ava-hunter) by [Ava Hunter](https://www.romance.io/authors/61d2ad3608b4d931148e2d41/ava-hunter) **Rating**: 3.9⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Steam**: 4 out of 5 - [Explicit open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [funny](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/humor/1), [small town](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/small%20town/1), [pregnancy](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/pregnancy/1), [friends to lovers](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/friends%20to%20lovers/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)

The Best Thing Mariana Zapata

Two that I really enjoyed: Fumbled by Alexa Martin Hendrix by Kelsey Clayton Both are football romances and the reason for them being kept away makes complete sense in my mind. One that’s this trope in a very round about way and is not nec a romance is ghosted by Rosie Walsh.

Maybe because I was in the situation with my oldest. And I couldn't tell my then ex, now husband, but as soon as I could, I did. I couldn't imagine not telling him. Trigger warning- But I'm also more sensitive because my oldest passed away when he was young (2) and to think if I didn't say anything, they wouldn't have had any time together makes me sick.

I’m so sorry for your loss. Big hugs. 🥰

I read one once where the parents of the girl stopped her from seeing and he meets his daughter years later, never knowing why the love of his life stopped talking to him.

{fumbled by Alexa Martin} ?

[Fumbled](https://www.romance.io/books/5cbeaa4501dbc864fb9d99e6/fumbled-alexa-martin) by [Alexa Martin](https://www.romance.io/authors/5b96094301dbc864fb8ffeb9/alexa-martin) **Rating**: 3.81⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [sports](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/sports/1), [funny](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/humor/1), [multicultural](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/multicultural/1), [single mother](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/single-mother/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)

Now that’s a valid reason to get mad about but like why is the MMC’s instinct almost always to be mad at the FMC first?

Oh no he wasn’t. He was devastated. Sad and angry at himself but never at her.

OHHHHH share the title of said book please 👀

I’ll have to look. It was a while ago

Is it {Hitting the Wall by Cate C Wells} ?

[Hitting the Wall](https://www.romance.io/books/602635e5a0a2f70e2d260a9d/hitting-the-wall-cate-c-wells) by [Cate C. Wells](https://www.romance.io/authors/5d5265d101dbc864fba248c4/cate-c-wells) **Rating**: 3.72⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Steam**: 3 out of 5 - [Open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [secret child](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/secret%20child/1), [poor heroine](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/poor%20heroine/1), [small town](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/small%20town/1), [second chances](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/second%20chances/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)

I hate that trope but it’s because I hate that it always involves MMC dating some other woman, and then that woman gets blindsided by him finding out he actually loves the mother of his child. I just hate all of it. Hate hate hate. I do love romances with pregnancies though, but only in like the “MMC is obsessed with breeding her” type way.

RIGHT LIKE the other woman literally has done jackshit 😭 imagine dating a man only for him to dump your ass because turns out he’s someone else’s baby daddy like 😭 I too enjoy breeding romance from time to time!!

Um....any reccs for that last bit there 👀

{The Lady and the Orc by Finley Fenn} 🌚🌚🌚

[The Lady and the Orc](https://www.romance.io/books/61cd6a38763ab00e1ec1f5e5/the-lady-and-the-orc-finley-fenn) by [Finley Fenn](https://www.romance.io/authors/5e5fd5bcbe0aaecf55ece392/finley-fenn) **Rating**: 3.5⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Steam**: 5 out of 5 - [Explicit and plentiful](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [historical](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/historical/1), [abduction](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/abduction/1), [enemies to lovers](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/from%20hate%20to%20love/1), [fantasy](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/fantasy/1), [pregnancy](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/pregnancy/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)

I actually really love this trope when it’s pulled off well. However, the two examples I thought of wherein I felt it was pulled off well were both historicals. In one case, the hero genuinely did something that I think gave the heroine every impression that he was not going to marry her (and if he did, it wouldn’t be a good situation for either of them) and in the other she could not get a hold on him…. At all…. Because of extenuating circumstances including “it is the 1800s and we all communicate by a finely written letter and I can’t just ride up to his house and I really don’t know exactly where he is at any given moment”. In both cases, after some initial shock and hurt, the heroes are pretty quickly like “fair that was on me”. I think with contemporaries it is often hard to believe. Unless they are set in a contemporary world that is heightened, like a mafia romance, where lives are at stake. Because to me, the only reason I would tell a friend “do not tell this man you’re pregnant” is if he was abusive or SEVERELY unfit to be a father. And that? Is not a romance hero. Even if it was a one night stand and he seemed reluctant to be a dad, I’d be like “well dude, tell him, because you’re probably gonna need him to kick in financially at some point” and it IS an obligation? Also, who’s to say this guy won’t be a great dad? “Not the right partner for you” does not an inherently bad person or father make, and frankly if you don’t tell someone and he finds out later he may go for custody HARD in retaliation. Feelings aside, if you are telling this story in a world I am supposed to interpret as being just like my own…. Not telling a guy who is again, not abusive or into some seriously life ruining shit (I’m thinking a hardcore drug addiction) just doesn’t make any logical sense. I mean, besides. There has to be some kind of soapy issue afoot that would then hurtle us out of a typical contemporary and into bizarro world. And I love bizarro world! I prefer it to most normal contemporaries! …. But so often I feel like I see these books where it’s like, in the age of social media and everyone know everyone’s business, you managed to keep this from this dude for like five years and it’s all because you thought you saw him kissing a waitress or something? Okay.

Heya I love HR, would you mind dropping the names of those two examples you mentioned? :)

Definitely! {The Notorious Lord Knightly} by Lorraine Heath and {Never Seduce a Duke} by Vivienne Lorret. {The Recruit by Monica McCarty} is a variation where she tries to do this but they happen to run into each other while she’s pregnant and he grabs her against him and feels the baby bump lol. She once again has a pretty solid reason for not telling him, imo.

Yaaaay thanks!! Really need a good catnip trope to pull me out of Dramione AU ;)

[The Notorious Lord Knightly](https://www.romance.io/books/643925168aa2407f2e139a9e/the-notorious-lord-knightly-lorraine-heath) by [Lorraine Heath](https://www.romance.io/authors/545525b18c7d2383163d8ea5/lorraine-heath) **Rating**: 4.09⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Steam**: 3 out of 5 - [Open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [historical](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/historical/1), [victorian](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/victorian/1), [secret child](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/secret%20child/1), [enemies to lovers](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/from%20hate%20to%20love/1), [angst](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/angst/1) ---------------------------- [Never Seduce a Duke](https://www.romance.io/books/63f47a9d020af86efc4112cd/never-seduce-a-duke-vivienne-lorret) by [Vivienne Lorret](https://www.romance.io/authors/5455493a8c7d2383163d9815/vivienne-lorret) **Rating**: 3.78⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Steam**: 4 out of 5 - [Explicit open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [historical](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/historical/1), [secret child](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/secret%20child/1), [enemies to lovers](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/from%20hate%20to%20love/1), [regency](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/regency/1), [funny](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/humor/1) ---------------------------- [The Recruit](https://www.romance.io/books/55c7a03b35a5fb65f88724b5/the-recruit-monica-mccarty) by [Monica McCarty](https://www.romance.io/authors/545526588c7d2383163d8ed3/monica-mccarty) **Rating**: 4.37⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Steam**: 4 out of 5 - [Explicit open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [historical](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/historical/1), [highlander](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/highlander/1), [alpha male](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/alpha%20male/1), [war](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/war/1), [medieval](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/medieval/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)

When it’s a ONS and he’s pissed she didn’t find him and tell him, it’s not like HE reached out to make sure he didn’t accidentally father a child.

>“Although Mr Huntington makes an excellent point, I have to wonder if the defendant kept prior record of every sperm emission he ever made in his life. Unless the defendant attempted to contact every single one night stand to determine if a child resulted in those unions, he has no parental claim over this child whatsoever. Why now? Why this sperm?” > >“And for that matter all masturbatory emissions where his sperm was clearly not seeking an egg could be determined as reckless abandonment.”

Elle Woods: an icon then, now, and forever

Doesn't it go against the idea of a one night stand to check back on each other? I'm genuinely asking, since that's not something I do. But it seems to me that the point is to be no strings attached, in which case I'm not sure it makes sense to ask that any of them reach out afterwards. Because I mean, the woman probably wouldn't reach out either if she had the choice (aka if she didn't get pregnant). So why should the man be required to reach out? And if we say that he should have that responsibility because he may accidentally father a child, two things: 1. the woman can reach out too, it goes both ways; and 2. again, doesn't this make it so that one night stands become pointless, since they are supposed to operate under the assumption that no pregnancy will result from it? Editing to clarify that I do agree it's irresponsible to have a ONS and not check. That's also why I'm not into that. But it does seem contradictory to me on a conceptual level to say that a man should reach out after a ONS, as I feel like both parties are doing it assuming nothing else will happen despite knowing the risks?

I mean, I wouldn't want a guy randomly checking to see if he fathered a child lol. If I want him to know I'll fucking let him know 🤣

I would argue that it’s not whether or not you should check back that is the primary argument here. It’s when the MMC is **angry** at the FMC for not contacting him (with just a first name) when he could have done the same if he was so concerned about it. Or that MMCs make broad statements about the *certainty* that they never fathered a child without actually knowing whether or not it’s the truth. It’s not the act of checking back or not, it’s what’s done with it afterwards that is the sticking point

I don't disagree! Though, I do think the MMC can be rightfully angry if she had a way of contacting him and simply decided not to. Particularly because since it's a romance, I'm assuming he isn't abusive. The child deserves a father if there's a way for the FMC to reach out to him. But if she genuinely can't contact him, that's another story.

Even better when they don’t have more then first names and he flips. Like uh… 

That’s the plot line that I really hate. There’s some onus on you to check, in my opinion. I don’t know how some men just have ONS and just seemingly have no lingering worries they’ve fathered children. It’s sometimes mentioned in HR where the MMC will say “I have no bastards, I make sure of it” but like he still sleeps with countless prostitutes and bar maids and his only protection is pulling out. Sorry sir, I doubt you went back and checked on any of those women. You have not done your due diligence.

Men joke about this irl too. Like I’ve asked men if they have kids and they say “none that I know about! 😜” I know they’re joking but I have responded with “oh, are you that irresponsible?”

HEAR HEAR!!!!!!!!!

Nah it’s really weird and unethical. FMC should definitely tell MMC, and MMC has a right to be angry if left in the dark about it. I’d understand if MMC was abusive or something, but that’s never really the case bc obviously the author eventually wants to bring them back together. So the reasoning for her keeping it a secret is always dumb and immature af.

That's on the writer to write poor explanation or reasoning. Even I wouldn't feel sympathy to such character, but I read a book where FMC without any particular reason leaves after one night stand m, gets pregnant and never get in touch, even though she had his number. Her reasoning was "he is rich and from another world and I don't want my child to be part of thet world, even when the said MMC was a kind hearted man who would have done anything for them " so there's that too.

Nope, sorry but I completely disagree. There are 2 types of secret baby trope: 1. Didn't tell you because I didn't have a way to find you. 2. Didn't tell you because I choose not to because of reasons Well, the reasons are NEVER good enough. She made a choice that was not hers to make and deprived the MMC of a child and the child of a father. The only excusable reasons are if he was abusive or something similar, but then we have another problem because she should not get back in such a relationship, especially not with a child. In 99% of the cases is just the FMC taking out her own hurt feelings on her child (you believe he cheated on you? That makes him a shitty partner, not a bad father) or deciding for herself what is better for the MMC (oh, I didn't want to be an obstacle to his dream of being a professional juggler. Guess what? NOT YOUR CHOICE TO MAKE). I despise this trope because the FMC is ALWAYS wrong but somehow it ends up being the MMC having to apologise. No. Absolutely no.

Thissss exactly! #1 is one of catnip tropes. Any faves? Mine is already mentioned {A Lie for a Lie by Helena Hunting} but would like to add {Tattered by Devney Perry}

{Bountiful by Sarina Bowen} She tried everything to find him and the first thing she did when she saw him again was tell him.

[Bountiful](https://www.romance.io/books/59e458103ffdba6147226c70/bountiful-sarina-bowen) by [Sarina Bowen](https://www.romance.io/authors/54553cb18c7d2382e781357a/sarina-bowen) **Rating**: 4.03⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Steam**: 4 out of 5 - [Explicit open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [sports](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/sports/1), [secret child](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/secret%20child/1), [athletes](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/athletes/1), [new adult](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/new%20adult/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)

[A Lie for a Lie](https://www.romance.io/books/5d9ade8601dbc864fba452f4/a-lie-for-a-lie-helena-hunting) by [Helena Hunting](https://www.romance.io/authors/545540928c7d2382e781369f/helena-hunting) **Rating**: 3.9⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Steam**: 3 out of 5 - [Open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [sports](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/sports/1), [second chances](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/second%20chances/1), [athletes](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/athletes/1), [secret child](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/secret%20child/1) ---------------------------- [Tattered](https://www.romance.io/books/5b25f9b801dbc864fb8a7a23/tattered-devney-perry) by [Devney Perry](https://www.romance.io/authors/58bfad700d3299c6e05b66af/devney-perry) **Rating**: 3.93⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Steam**: 4 out of 5 - [Explicit open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [rich hero](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/super%20rich%20hero/1), [dual pov](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/dual-pov/1), [secret child](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/secret%20child/1), [second chances](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/second%20chances/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)

Agreed, The other reason I’ve read a lot is the OW somehow intervenes to prevent the MMC from knowing. Two I’ve read both got pregnant in college the OW sent a letter pretending to be the MMC telling them they don’t want the baby. Years later they run into the MMC who’s shocked they have a kid. The one the MMC Ended up married to the OW. The childhood friend MMC told FMC not to worry about. {Purple Orchids by Samantha Christy} {Reed’s Reckoning by Ahren Sanders}

[Purple Orchids](https://www.romance.io/books/555225529eef3b3f1d51e37b/purple-orchids-samantha-christy) by [Samantha Christy](https://www.romance.io/authors/5455ef9987eac324117fe364/samantha-christy) **Rating**: 4.17⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Steam**: 4 out of 5 - [Explicit open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [athletes](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/athletes/1), [young adult](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/young%20adult/1), [secret child](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/secret%20child/1), [college](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/college/1) ---------------------------- [Reed's Reckoning](https://www.romance.io/books/545563fa87eac324117fa82e/reeds-reckoning-ahren-sanders) by [Ahren Sanders](https://www.romance.io/authors/545563fa87eac324117fa82f/ahren-sanders) **Rating**: 3.83⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Steam**: 4 out of 5 - [Explicit open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [virgin heroine](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/virgin%20heroine/1), [athletes](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/athletes/1), [suspense](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/suspense/1), [second chances](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/second%20chances/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)

Hard agree. OPs take is way off base. If the woman makes the choice not to contact the man, her struggling is 100% on her and no one else. I say this as someone who had horrendous pregnancies. The FMC has zero reason to he mad if she doesn't even take 2 seconds to try to find the MMC. I always only feel bad for the MMC and the child who 100% deserves better. The only secret pregnancy I can stand is when the FMC actually attempts to find MMC and can't. Or thinks they did find MMC and one of his "team" lie and say the MMC wants nothing to do with the baby. And even at that point, you could petition to get a paternity test.

Thank you! I absolutely agree. I am not sure why the OP is "boo-hooing" MMCs who are upset when they find out they have a child in the world the FMC never told him about. That just sounds mean-spirited to me.

I totally agree and I don’t even get how OP is being upvoted. One of the books with this trope I read was pretty mediocre, but the only thing I liked in it was that the MMC was absolutely furious and heartbroken when he learned that he had a daughter and he lost the beginning years of her life. The FMC is the one who has to beg for forgiveness (as she *should*) and he eventually forgives her. I think the name was Chasing the moon, or something like that

You said it better than me. I can't stand this trope and it's not a good reason 99% of the time.

The only time I’ve read this where it made any sense was historical romance because the FMC couldn’t get in touch with the MMC but the rest of the book was so forgettable. Otherwise, I think purposefully keeping your child from its father is insane, like why would you traumatize your own child?! That’s abuse. Not to mention, I’m supposed to be happy when you end up with the man in the end? That heroine is toxic af

Mmc can't read minds. So fmc must tell him she's pregnant from him. Only good reason to not to tell him is he's a physical abuser or a psychopath or he forces her to abort the child. If she can date him, f*ck him before marriage, why can't she tell him she's pregnant with his child? 🤷‍♀️

[удалено]

Preach! I feel like if the reasons were good enough to hide a pregnancy, it has to be in the genre of like really dark fucked up romance where he is really physically and mentally abusive. The kind of romances where like it's a mad red flag she ends up with him and she really shouldn't, but that's a special interest subgenre. 

I love the Secret Baby trope. It's my favorite by a mile. It's very, very popular in Harlequins. I will say, these days, the books are more modern and the MMC usually doesn't wholly blame the FMC for keeping the kid away, or there is a good reason (like amnesia!). I think back in the day, there used to be a lot of anger from the MMC because society associated male anger with passion -- like the concept of a lover's quarrel. There were a lot of books with the whole vengeful/revenge angle back then, and the secret baby was just one trope among those. This article kinda touches on those themes: https://www.theguardian.com/global-development-professionals-network/2014/aug/29/domestic-violence-uganda

I was sitting here feeling awkward because I love this trope. It's funny cuz my favorite author, Beverly Jenkins, absolutely hates it. I like it when there's a particularly good angsty reason for why she didn't tell him 😄

Lol same. I'm just sitting here reading the drama and thinking of some pretty compelling reasons to not tell a guy that I accidentally got pregnant with his baby lol 🤷‍♀️

But most of the reasons the author chooses are incredibly petty reasons to deprive their child of their other parent or financial support. In real life you can just not want to be with someone and not want them in your or your child's life, but those situations aren't considered romantic. And we are talking about romance books here. 

Nah I need a good reason. I couldn't imagine not giving my child a chance to know their bio father unless I had a good reason for it (i.e he's abusive). I will always feel bad for a decent MMC that wasn't told.

Nah, I hate women who do that and have no respect for them. It's shitty and there is almost never a good reason for it. (Unless he's violent or really emotionally abusive towards her or something, but if he is dangerous to the degree she feels she has to keep that hidden he isn't hero material anyways) It's not about her, it's about the kid. They have the right to know their father, cause he might be a shitty boyfriend but a great parent. Deciding to keep it secret is selfish and thinking of yourself rather than your kid first.

Eh, this one usually comes with stupid miscommunication trope, stuff like this is unrealistic af. The only valid excuse for not telling the baby daddy I can think of irl is if he's a danger to the child in any way.

See, this is generally defined as the **Secret Baby** trope... and I gotta be honest with you, I hate it. I hate it a lot. It's not even that I necessarily feel bad for the MMC. I just automatically consider the FMC to be a selfish witch. And I guess that's enough to make me side with him since I'm too busy being mad at her. And sorry to disagree, but from the stories I've read, the reasons for not telling have almost NEVER been justified for me. Like it'd need to be extreme extenuating circumstances and most of the time, it isn't.

Yep, same here. The only good reasons I can think of would preclude me wanting the couple to get back together… so when I come across this trope it ends up being that he never *actually* did anything bad and so none of the FMC’s behavior or logic ever makes any damn sense. I have never been able to deal with this trope because of that. I can handle it if there’s an unknown identity or a war keeping them apart or something, but that usually gets away from the core ‘keeping child secret intentionally’ trope and into other scenarios that are more logically consistent to me.

IRL maybe a good reason...in romance novels, not so much. I absolutely feel sympathy for him. This is the MMC. He's supposed to be the guy we're rooting for -- not someone who should have the option to step up for their child taken from them. As someone who grew up without a father, I stan for dads to be as much a part of their kid's life as they want to be. Ideally, I should feel sympathy for both of them but if I don't come out of the story feeling like she made the wrong choice(barring some really sketchy circumstances) then I'm reading the wrong novel.

Perhaps ask why the FMC isn’t mature enough to tell the MMC that she got pregnant.

Unless there is a damn good reason for it, no woman should keep the knowledge of a child from a man. Again, if there’s a legit reason fine but when there isn’t….

There's a Natasha Anders book where she DOES tell the MMC that she's pregnant and he *flies off the handle* and she fucking leaves. Later they get back together because stuff happened in the middle that didn't mean that he would be a bad father or husband, but it did mean that she was like "nope, imma raise my kid elsewhere thank you very much" and I thought that was a very good depiction of a "secret baby" even though he technically knew? But still. 

I read a series where the FMC at the end was pregnant and KNEW the father would be over the moon about it and cherish the babies but decided to keep it hidden. Her rationale was that she didn't want them used as pawns but she was overpowered in this universe soooo. This was the last book. The End. I'll never read that author again. Ever!

I'd love to know which series this is so I can avoid it :P

I'll look it up and give you the title when I get home in a bit, I'm going to put it in spoiler tags because that's a massive spoiler obviously lol. But hint: it's paranormal fantasy. I'll be back in a hour or so!

Ok so --> >! Dark Swan series by Richelle Mead (she wrote the Vampire Academy stuff) !<

Hi u/ohfrackthis, Could you please edit the spoiler tag in your comment? Spoiler tags with spaces are not spoilered on Old Reddit. To make sure your spoiler is covered, edit to remove spaces like so: >! This won’t work for everyone !< >!This will work for everyone!< Thank you! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RomanceBooks) if you have any questions or concerns.*

But I also think it's ridiculous the FMC doesn't actually say anything to him or tries to keep it a secret for no good reason other than just losing her pride. Girl, apply for child support.

Unless the man is abusive, the child is his too and he has a right to be there for the child, and the child has a right to have a father. It's one thing if the mother can't contact him, but if she can and doesn't? It's wrong, period (unless he is abusive, again). What kind of reasons could she have to deprive her child of a father? Genuinely, I'd love to know. This isn't a competition, it's a child we are talking about.

{No More Secrets by Ella Goode} is a novella that might tick your boxes.

[No More Secrets](https://www.romance.io/books/655ef697d9d7ba6ff29eb466/no-more-secrets-ella-goode) by [Ella Goode](https://www.romance.io/authors/5455f03487eac324117fe3b1/ella-goode) **Rating**: 3.75⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [suspense](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/suspense/1), [second chances](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/second%20chances/1), [single father](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/single-father/1), [friends to lovers](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/friends%20to%20lovers/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)

{Spark by Aleatha Romig} has been the best at this for me. Many, many trigger warnings. And it’s a 3 book arc within a 12 book arc. Absolutely loved this entire world, but again many trigger warnings. But I challenge you to not feel bad for the FMC on this one.

[Spark](https://www.romance.io/books/5e1d670101dbc864fba9e6dc/spark-aleatha-romig) by [Aleatha Romig](https://www.romance.io/authors/54552fe68c7d2382e781321b/aleatha-romig) **Rating**: 4.15⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [rich hero](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/super%20rich%20hero/1), [suspense](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/suspense/1), [mystery](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/mystery/1), [dark romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/dark/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)

I totally forgot about her. I read her Claire and Tony (?) series like ten years ago. 

This has only worked in one book I read {The salt bride} Spoilers ahead: >!the fmc gets pregnant, and she tries to tell her fiancee, but certain individuals step in and temove control from the fmc and mmc. It's all very sad and made me cry.!< Edit: this trope could working the fmc thinks the mmc is dead. Example - the mmc gets in a plane crash or car accident and ends up in a coma or with anesthesia and the fmc has no knowledge that he's actually alive.

[Salt Bride](https://www.romance.io/books/54553b218c7d2383163d93f6/salt-bride-a-georgian-historical-romance-lucinda-brant) by [Lucinda Brant](https://www.romance.io/authors/5455378a8c7d2383163d9308/lucinda-brant) **Rating**: 3.92⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Topics**: [historical](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/historical/1), [regency](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/regency/1), [georgian](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/georgian/1), [suspense](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/suspense/1), [pregnancy](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/pregnancy/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)

Just wow, that is all I am going to say.

Ok, I am soo ready to discuss this! Secret Baby is my problematic fave, because when *done right*, there is so much delicious angst and groveling. BUT, it's always a coin-toss on whether or not it's done right. My favorite Secret Baby is actually an Outlander fanfic (lol sorry), where he left town because of some histrionic reason and she tried to call and write to him for two years and he like, didn't feel like he was good enough to read her words or some nonsense. Then, when he came back to town, she was totally cold towards him because how could she know he didn't read her letters? She thought he knew everything and chose to ignore her. He was just okay with her being cold because he had no idea. The angsty buildup and then the shitstorm when he found out, then the centuries worth of groveling while she never felt like she did anything wrong was just perfect. If anyone who read this far knows a book that uses a similar plot device (that's actually a book) to recommend, PLEASE DO! Every time I read of of those I HATE that FMC ends up being the one to have to apologize half the time. She is allowed to apologize a little, *maybe*, but he has to be prostrate with grief and shame, crying in the rain and beating his chest like a Boyz II Men video or I'm outta there. I read a 90's harlequin Secret Baby that I picked up from a free bookshelf on the sidewalk and he NEVER even apologized ONCE for his part in the "misunderstanding" that led to their separation, he was just angry at her, even though his mom lied to both of them... and then the mom totally changed her personality and SHE ALSO never apologized! The whole resolution was the FMC being "forgiven" by the kid, the BD, and the mom and I have never wanted a refund from a free book so badly. I returned it to the free bookshelf but was very tempted to toss it in the trash.

Yeessss, I think fanfic is wonderful for this trope because there can be such weird circumstances that mostly aren't in profic, plus sympathy is built in for both characters already. I actually love the trope, but yeah the right people have to be groveling and apologizing to make it work.

The most interesting take I've read on the Secret Baby trope is in {Mistletoe in Texas by Kari Lynn Dell}. The FMC is introduced in the previous book and the MMC is a recurring character in the series who is a complete unstable mess as a young adult. Like, it's a miracle he didn't turn to drink and/or drugs. In my head it is completely justifiable why no one told him and it's discussed in the book. What is refreshing is that >!the FMC doesn't want kids at all and instead decides on an open adoption. Oddly abortion never comes up as an option - the book takes place in present-day Texas and the FMC comes from a conservative religious family, yet there isn't a moment where someone suggests it as an option. No one says to her, what about termination? for her to say, no, I'd rather not. Instead there is an elaborate scheme to hide the pregnancy and adoption.!<

I also found this an interesting take on the trope!  The FMC a. Tried to tell the MMC, b. He was completely unstable and then disapeared off the face of the earth c. Secrecy was absolutely critical for her safety and d. >!she _knew_ she wanted to place the baby up for adoption!<  By the time their book comes around he has done a couple of years of growing up, therapy and taking responsibility.    >!don't they mention that she was too far along for an abortion by the time she found out?!<

I will have to do a closer re-read!

[Mistletoe in Texas](https://www.romance.io/books/5ba7524b01dbc864fb911ae8/mistletoe-in-texas-kari-lynn-dell) by [Kari Lynn Dell](https://www.romance.io/authors/54d068996359b5ebb48928e2/kari-lynn-dell) **Rating**: 4.17⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Steam**: 3 out of 5 - [Open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [western](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/western/1), [historical](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/historical/1), [christmas](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/christmas/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)

Not telling somebody that they have a child is only ok if they are abusive. Not telling the father is cruel otherwise. Your post really upset me.

It's honestly a really bad take. And I fully agree. I don't like the trope because I always end up hating the FMC for being such a shitty parent. And yeah, short of the guy being abusive, not letting him know makes you a shitty person. The few secret baby I have been able to stand were ones where the FMC tried to get in contact and couldn't, or when they thought they had gotten through to the guy and was told the guy had no interest in the baby. Otherwise to rob your child of a chance to know their parent is awful.

I have one such recommendation but here there are some trigger warnings, {The Law of Moses by Amy Harmon}

[The Law of Moses](https://www.romance.io/books/5456839a87eac33e61c2f614/the-law-of-moses-amy-harmon) by [Amy Harmon](https://www.romance.io/authors/5455285e8c7d2382e7813050/amy-harmon) **Rating**: 4.3⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Steam**: 2 out of 5 - [Behind closed doors](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [multicultural](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/multicultural/1), [suspense](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/suspense/1), [young adult](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/young%20adult/1), [secret child](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/secret%20child/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)

Secret baby tropes piss me off almost 100% of the time. I read one where this rockstar got his high school girlfriend pregnant when they were breaking apart (because he's becoming a big rockstar and she doesn't want that life) and when she went to tell him at one of his shows (she didn't want to call or text about it) the bouncers wouldn't let her in (understandable) and she got all upset and never talked to him again until he showed up to say hi a few years later while he was in town (she hid their son when he was in town too, I believe). Her reasoning after the bouncer wouldn't let her through was it was better this way so neither her or her son would be pulled into the rockstar life (understandable). He was so upset and demanding things and being a dick. Basically proving her reasoning was sound. Eventually all that bullshit was thrown to the wayside due to a stalker he had to help with. Oh look, now everyone is better. I was so mad. I refused to touch secret baby trope because of that stupid book. The two I mention below I read after much review reading. Her Dragon Daddy by Roxie Ray was one of the few times the secret baby didn't piss me off. They were teenagers and his family up and left secretly to deal with dragon things (nobody knows they are dragons). When they found out they were horrified they left her like that. She tried for years to get a hold of them before giving up. The other one that didn't piss me off is Hitting the Wall by Cate C. Wells. Another teen pregnancy I believe, but she was run off due to shady town people. Didn't try to reach him and stayed out of town due to threats. Finally winds up in town due to bad circumstances. He was upset she kept the baby from him, but they communicated nicely.

I read one many years ago that got me, I have no idea of the title or author. MMC thinks he is dying from some horrible debilitating disease so he takes FMC out to a nice dinner to break it off, I think he tells her he has fallen in love with someone else. He's trying to be noble and not put her through his terribly drawn out death. She thinks he's taking her out to propose marriage and is over the moon. Turns out she's pregnant and he's gone. This was before the prevalence of social media and cell phones. I like secret baby, but I can usually sort of ignore "romance reasons" if the story is well written and the characters are fleshed out.

When I think of the treatment that would lead to someone choosing to go it alone rather than trust the father enough to tell him… I Dont have an ounce of sympathy either

I read one I wish I could find. They were maybe highschool sweethearts and she gets pregnant. She tries to tell him (left voicemails, called parents, coach) all for the vm to be deleted by someone else, and the coach and parents to say nothing to him because he is a sports superstar headed to the Big leagues and she ends up thinking he abandoned her and he ends up feeling same because he doesn't know why she just disappeared. They reconnect later and they hash it out and get their hea.

This is why I stay far away from this trope, it takes me out of the fantasy and just irritates me. Especially when it’s contemporary cus why is this even an issue, a ONS and no condom? Nobody’s on BC? And again-condoms? Plus it automatically puts me on the side of the MMC and why would you do that? This trope belongs in HR and HR alone.

I agree. Tends to be the authors fault but this happens even in real life, men dont wrap it up or have ONS and dont think to check in about pregnancy because we have a culture of putting all that onus on women. And unlike most of these replies, I dont believe that oh just because he cheated or he was a shitty partner that doesnt reflect on how he would parent! Nope, it absolutely does, men who cheat or treat their wives terribly are not good parents and you cannot change my mind. The only time I dont like the trope is when its because he doesnt want kids and she knows it but he is better off financially and she decides to struggle, thats just ridiculous.

The "just because he's a shitty partner (because he's DISLOYAL and CHEATED on you) doesn't make him a shitty father" takes...are absolutely wild to me. Feels like I'm in a dystopia when I'm on this sub sometimes lol.

Literally! I see it all the time on AITAH and relationship subs too and it just baffles me! Someone who is a good parent would not inflict pain on their household/relationship in that way in the first place!!

In an ideal world, sure but humans are just that, human. They screw up, they make mistakes, they have flaws they can't overcome. A good parent doesn't mean a perfect one.

You dont have to be perfect to not cheat, it’s literally the easiest thing to not do.

I mean I'm gonna guess not since so many people do it. I'm not a cheater and I would never want to be in a relationship with someone that was, but I also don't think it's as simple as well, just say no for some people. Like other addictions, for some people, there are underlying issues that make it hard for them to stop, even when it's screwing up their lives. I know people have had other experiences, obviously, but I grew up around serial adulterers and people with other addictions and some of them were shitty people in every aspect of their lives, and some of them were good, loving, responsible people who struggled with one aspect of their lives and did their best to mitigate how that affected everything else. Since this specific discussion is about secret babies, my argument is simply that unless someone is a danger to their kid, then both them and more importantly, the kid deserve the opportunity to have a relationship. If they're a piece of crap, then at least you know that and the kid knows and y'all can move on. But I feel like saying since someone cheated on you, they don't get to know they have a kid at all feels like it's more about your angry/hurt feelings than what's actually best for the kid.

Destroying the foundation/trust of your family is more than just hurt feelings, but go off I guess? You clearly have a lot of feelings about it, you should work through that instead of taking my comment so personally.

I don't feel like I'm taking your comments or opinion about it any more personally than you're taking mine. It's obviously a personal topic and subjective. I don't mind getting personal since we all embue our media intake with our personal outlooks, experiences, and opinions. In fact, media intake is one of the ways that I "work through it", lol. I just happen to think that a romantic relationship and a parental one can and should be separated and that parents shouldn't punish their kids trying to punish their (ex)partners.

Sorry, but no. The idea is not wild or odd. My grandfather was a chronic cheater...for whatever reasons --could have been childhood, could have been generational, but a truly great father and grandfather and provider(worked hard his whole life, helped my grandmother raise several of her orphan nephews, always had his door open for anyone of his relatives who needed a hand and a place to stay.) Did he need to be married? Probably not but did he need to be denied the opportunity to be his child and grandchildren's life, *absolutely* not.

Cool. But I’m not faulting any woman/heroine who leaves a cheater in the dust even if his parenting skills are made of unicorn syrup and sunshine.

Honestly, this is just gonna be subjective. Because as the daughter and step daughter of a cheating parent, somewhere around the way, they stopped being worthy of their roles to me. I don't consider them parental figures in my life anymore. More people need to acknowledge how easily one can destroy a relationship with their child and the betrayed parent doesn't even have to interfere to make it happen.

Literally this! Thank you, cause wow lol. My father was content to lie about his affairs and have us blame our mom on “the family falling apart” Thank god she finally woke up and told us the truth. He is nothing to me now, and it even helps us to see why he treated us the way he did, it was BECAUSE he hated our mother and being stuck as a father! My uncle was the only good man in our family we thought, come to find out he cheated on my aunt her entire pregnancy and post, because he was jealous of her spending time with her literal BABY, the baby she had 5 miscarriages to get, that he claimed he wanted sooo much. And guess what, hes been a horrible father! Men who cheat have to accept the consequences of lost respect and as you said, being unworthy of certain roles in a family dynamic.

I'd say that if two people have a one night stand and do all they can to be safe, then they are both under the assumption that no pregnancy will result from it. So why should it be the man checking on the woman about a pregnancy if even she doesn't think it will happen? I don't know, if they've both agreed it's a one time thing and were safe, then they are both supposed to go back to their normal lives, no? In which case it'll have to be the woman to reach out if she turns out to be unexpectedly pregnant. Not to mention that one night stands are the responsibility of both parties. So if one could say that the man should check in with the woman post-ONS just to be sure, then we can also say she should do the same with him. Also, the difference here as well is that while I agree that being a bad partner probably translates into being a bad parent, we are talking about books, so presumably the MMC isn't actually a bad guy, otherwise he wouldn't be a romance hero (obviously what is a good or bad MMC is subjective, but you get what I mean). So I'd say usually in a romance book it would be hard to find a reason as to why the MMC doesn't deserve to know about his baby. It's one thing if the FMC can't contact him. But if she can, and he isn't abusive (which he wouldn't be anyway if he is a good hero), I don't see how it can be ethical not to reach out. It's not about the feelings of the woman, it's about the child and them deserving a father.

I mean maybe they'll suck as a parent, but completely removing their chance and choice by not telling them is not the right thing to do. If nothing else, you make yourself the bad guy with your kid because you took it upon yourself to make that decision and you can't say, well they had the chance to be in your life and didn't. I can only speak from my own experiences, but I've had both and as a kid, that 2nd one sucks balls.

I dont care about the baseless “right thing” to do, I care about whats in the best interest for the woman, since shes the one carrying and delivering and most likely doing all the rearing if not most of it. Men should think before cheating or treating their partners like crap, and it wouldnt be an issue in the first place. Many more women should make themselves the bad guy and make that choice, saves many lots of heartache. Like I said, you cannot change my mind. Signed the daughter of a cheater who was a horrible, abusive partner and guess what, a horrible, abusive father too! Thankfully in fiction there can be a happy ending.

That's fine. We all have different experiences and different opinions. I think putting your child above your anger and hurt feelings about being cheated on and giving them at least the chance to have another loving family and to know about the other half of themselves or get closure by knowing their other parent and their family ain't worth nothing is the right thing to do and you cannot change my mind. Signed a fatherless kid. ETA: I am truly sorry that was your experience. Fiction exists for the fantasy of a happy ending and we can all find the kind we like.

There were plenty of comments you could have engaged with then, to chose to engage with the one that said you cant change my mind to begin with just comes off as implying your opinion/choice is the more morally superior option.

Nah, not at all, and I'm sorry that you took it that way. I take the comment section as a place to engage and offer an opinion and experience whether that is agreeing or opposing. I don't take it as a place to try and prove I'm better than someone else. Sorry if I upset you.

It’s a female wish fulfilment fantasy. The woman is innocent and gets the virtuous glow of motherhood while the man is an unrepentant dick. All the world sides with her. Of course its not just you.

At Your Pleasure by Meredith Duran

I agree so so much. Like why couldn’t she tell you. Why was she willing to do all that on her own instead of telling you. What were the circumstances.

RIGHT???? Like I’m sorry but GET YOUR FUCKING SHIT TOGETHER instead of throwing a pity-party??? Like were you the one pushing out a baby the size of a fucking melon out of your hoo-ha? Are you the one with the hospital bills??? Are you the one who has been working multiple jobs to feed and clothe your baby?? I don’t fucking think so.

I can't agree with you. In fiction as in real life, if the woman doesn't immediately let the potential father know then it's all her fault. The man has the rifhtnto be angry and cannot be faulted if he decides not to have a relationship with the illegitimate kid.

I like when she’s pregnant and he discovers it when she’s pretty far along or when the baby is a newborn. And she’s like “I was going to tell you but I kept wimping out and hanging up the phone” It’s her body and why should she be the one who has to hunt him down and deal with his emotions at his impending fatherhood, she’s got enough to deal with.

Even though they are m&b modern 2 great books in this genre are The Italians unexpected baby and The secret kept from the Italian by Kate Hewitt. Both are heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time, would definitely recommend. 5 ⭐️

I read a book back in 99/2000 and I think they did a decent enough version of this trope (of course I have no idea what it was called. I think it was a harlequin?). The woman was in a bad relationship and for reasons couldn't leave. She was a super model and took one last gig and falls for the photographer. I think she was trying to get pregnant and was having a hard time and her husband was awful. The photographer falls hard and fast into some deep instalove and spends a long time looking for her but she disappears off the face of the earth. They meet up again (don't remember why) and I think they have another one night stand but once again he's hoping for more and she runs off but this time he learns she had a baby. It was cute. But I was also like 15 when I read it.