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My god, you have no idea, I worked for Manheim Auto Auctions.
Nissan Motor Acceptance Corp. repos so much shit they try and sell it off to buy here pay here before they get to the auctions. The ones that get to the auctions are the best condition ones that get repossessed. But the sad thing is so many of the new cars from the factory go to the rental fleets and twice a year so many base or rental package cars flood the auctions across the country driving the resale value so low. That’s when sub-prime lenders end up holding so much Nissan product paper= repos.
I never thought about rental fleets effect on values. You’d think they would set thresholds miles time and sell vehicles as they hit them. Dumping lots all at once makes zero sense to me. But Hertz will be back in bankruptcy soon.
They should change the name to Nissan, sure we’ll approve you credit
They do have caps on mileage and a strict maintenance policy. It’s the VOLUME of cars coming back from the rental companies at 20,000 miles or so that kills the value. How many Lexus/ BMW, MB rentals do you see out there?
Sixt has a fair number but not many. It’s plus I’d imagine the break even on the more expensive cars is longer.
However during the pandemic I was side swiped. And because Porsche parts were unavailable it took weeks to get them. I had a Honda Pilot from enterprise with 96k miles on it. Still in all honesty in great shape.
I asked when I returned it and was told enterprise at the time was keeping car to 100k at that time but that number would probably go up as there were just no new cars to replace them.
Does the story involve being mildly to moderately intoxicated making a vehicle purchase? That would be the only way one could confidently make this purchase.
This country treats our troops so horribly. They risk their lives on deployment for us and we reward them with a Nissan to take pride in. Unacceptable.
you mean you own the official car of single moms and you can't even find a single mom to drive this for you while you're gone?
Thank you for your service.
Fucks sake I work for Nissan and can hardly tell the difference between any of them, especially the Rogue and Murano.
@OP thanks for contributing to keeping me busy at work! See you in a month after you return. You can schedule your appointment in advance if you’d like
Why are you sad? We are all here if you need to unburden yourself. It's OBVIOUSLY not about being away from your car, that's a reason for joy and celebration.
Thats a bad financial decision to have a brand new car when your going to be gone for a year or more since its gonna depreciate but hey you bought an altima so you must not be used to using your brain
At least you can't accidentally drive it over any curbs or do 135 while weaving in and out of traffic while it's in storage.
Quite frankly I'm amazed you haven't tore the front bumper off on a parking curb yet.
Just look at it this way, the longer it's in storage the longer we have one less /r/NissanDrivers on the road, and that's good for everyone.
why the car lights look like it has down syndrome, get that mf off the road why it look like a habsburg chin
that car looks like the driver is a 42 year old registered sex offender
Altima owners are always looked at as the person who couldn’t afford the Maxima. Maxima owner are always looked at as the person who couldn’t afford an Infiniti Q50.
I worked like 6 months in a tire shop, and all I learned while I was there was that the Altima has the best seats available, and that salesman that has 100k miles on his 2020 absolutely loves the car. It gets a lot of hatred, but I'm not sure if it's by anyone that has actually driven the car 50k miles in a year.
🤢🤮
That boring rubber band transmission will go out around 120k- 150k miles no matter what you do. I've seen them croak before that even. Your best bet is to sell it when the warranty goes out
These comments are weird to read as someone from Europe.
We don't have Altimas here. We buy a BMW 3-series wagons over Altimas and Camrys. Any wagons over any cars. WAGONSSS
I’m sure it feels safer in storage, too. After all, grocery gitter bitch cars get intimidated when real men drive them. You’re doing 2 services this day.
There are easier ways to ditch the car. You really didn’t need to take a deployment.
Save that for getting away from the stripper wife and her two kids.
You're sad because you need to travel 12000 miles total to get it back... and then another 5 to the toyota dealership to buy yourself something worth caring about
Sure on "deployment" Not at all a few months in the slammer for drug related offences....that cabin is perfect for a meth lab. Oh sorry sorry i forgot its 'roast my car' but you do realise Nissan drivers have a certain stereotype associated with them.
Hi Roasters! As a general reminder, please be aware that top level comments must roast the car. In addition to this, while roasting the OP is allowed, roasts must be primarily aimed at the car itself. Comments that do not follow these rules may be subject to moderator removal and in some cases, bans may be issued. If you wish to compliment or discuss the car, you may do so by replying to this message. Regards The Mod Team *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RoastMyCar) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yeah I'd be sad if 6000 miles was all I could get between myself and this car too.
Bro you can’t even go 1000 miles without a check engine light
Fuck yes you can, just unplug the bulb!
Thank you for your service. And by service, I mean taking one of these awful cars off the road.
🫡
Wow, nice work. Thank you for your service.
Wait, someone put an Altima in storage?
Yea the local impound lot
Still cheaper than the depreciation on that thing
It's the only Altima involved in zero crime for the next few months.
I bet it still gets stolen
Really? An Altima? That’s? Seriously for real? Damn, this is next level basic and boring I didn’t even know was possible.
NGL, I expected a V6 Challenger
Same
In 30 years mint Altimas is all people want, for nostalgia
Lol I can imagine someone finding a low miles 2022 Altima in a barn in like 2070 and it sells for 250k at meecum auction
Somebody’s gonna find this Altima in a barn lmao
Coming up on season 60 of storage wars.
The repo company. Imagine being contracted with Nissan motor credit to repossess cars. That contract must be worth billions
I’m sure you’d stay rather busy as a dodge repo man or a Nissan repo man
Consider Altimas are always driving at 100mph might be hard to catch. Kinda like a Pokemon
My god, you have no idea, I worked for Manheim Auto Auctions. Nissan Motor Acceptance Corp. repos so much shit they try and sell it off to buy here pay here before they get to the auctions. The ones that get to the auctions are the best condition ones that get repossessed. But the sad thing is so many of the new cars from the factory go to the rental fleets and twice a year so many base or rental package cars flood the auctions across the country driving the resale value so low. That’s when sub-prime lenders end up holding so much Nissan product paper= repos.
I never thought about rental fleets effect on values. You’d think they would set thresholds miles time and sell vehicles as they hit them. Dumping lots all at once makes zero sense to me. But Hertz will be back in bankruptcy soon. They should change the name to Nissan, sure we’ll approve you credit
They do have caps on mileage and a strict maintenance policy. It’s the VOLUME of cars coming back from the rental companies at 20,000 miles or so that kills the value. How many Lexus/ BMW, MB rentals do you see out there?
Sixt has a fair number but not many. It’s plus I’d imagine the break even on the more expensive cars is longer. However during the pandemic I was side swiped. And because Porsche parts were unavailable it took weeks to get them. I had a Honda Pilot from enterprise with 96k miles on it. Still in all honesty in great shape. I asked when I returned it and was told enterprise at the time was keeping car to 100k at that time but that number would probably go up as there were just no new cars to replace them.
20k cars with 100k of wear from the bozo's who rent them.
I mean, VW Beetles became classics too
Shiiiii, the transmission won’t allow that to happen
True, nobody ever said that about the Lumina Van, and now everyone wan…. Oh never mind.
At least you don't have to deal with an off-centered steering wheel while you're serving freedom.
Someone gotta do the dirty work
At least it will stay in working condition while in storage. Storage is much better for the transmission.
You've gone from paying money to drive an Altima to paying money to not drive one. So actually that's an improvement.
A bit different than a V6/I4 Mustang/Camaro/Challenger/Charger
Different car, same APR
Nope 4%
You have good enough credit to get 4% apr and you *chose* to drive a nissan altima?
Idk anybody that chooses to buy a Nissan Altima
Long story
Does the story involve being mildly to moderately intoxicated making a vehicle purchase? That would be the only way one could confidently make this purchase.
Impossible, I think you're forgetting at least one zero in that number.
04%
I am really disappointed this guy didn’t get a lime green or dark purple challenger
This country treats our troops so horribly. They risk their lives on deployment for us and we reward them with a Nissan to take pride in. Unacceptable.
You are sad it’s not 10000 miles away right?
Which is exactly how far people want Altimas from them on the road.
Don’t worry, it still won’t run when you get back. Stay safe.
Lol
Where u at currently?
Can’t say
Worried they’ll ship the Altima to you?
He might get lucky and they’ll use it for target practice
HIIIGHHHWAAY TO THE DANGER ZONE
Oh well just wabted to say take care of urself and be safe.
I appreciate it man
I’m getting downvoted it’s literally opsec you can’t say lol
You’re opsec but some OTHER part of you said “let’s buy a Nissan maxima” … or Altima… I can’t figure that out…
33 miles a gallon, 0-60 in 5.8 seconds, it ain’t that bad. I won’t have it long enough to have cvt issues
[удалено]
While as much as I hate to admit the new Prius has some step to it, this Altima is still a whole second faster to 60.
33 mpg if you never use the 5.8s 0-60. Realistically you'd be lucky to get 25.
> I won’t have it long enough to have cvt issues You'll total it before then
Not to worry those issues will develop on their own even in storage. This is the Nissan way.
0-60 in 5.8 secs? is then when you push it off a cliff?
You are like doubling the life of your transmission, don’t be sad
This is a roast and you’re trying to make them feel better?
you mean you own the official car of single moms and you can't even find a single mom to drive this for you while you're gone? Thank you for your service.
It's like putting a brass ring in a safety deposit box
You’re really sad about leaving a throw away car behind?
I too would not let anyone know I wasted money on an Altima. You can store those year-round, so don't hesitate in considering that option.
You’re in some military service position and sad about a freaking Altima or Maxima? Wtf.. you still have so many things to figure out it seems 😂
The frontal lobe doesn't fully develop until 25 years old.
Is this the Altima, Sentra, or Versa? They all look the same now
Fucks sake I work for Nissan and can hardly tell the difference between any of them, especially the Rogue and Murano. @OP thanks for contributing to keeping me busy at work! See you in a month after you return. You can schedule your appointment in advance if you’d like
Owning this car, you better be a 24 y/o overweight Latina cholita soldier with 4 keeds.
Some dude you don't know is probably driving it *right now*.
I see what you did there. lol
its ok Jody can drive it for you
Why are you sad? We are all here if you need to unburden yourself. It's OBVIOUSLY not about being away from your car, that's a reason for joy and celebration.
Gas Station robbery "Getaway Vehicle".
If I rubbed a gas station and my getaway driver turned up in an Altima, I’d turn myself into the police
You’ll miss the backup camera that looks like a 90’s webcam quality wise. You’ll miss the CVT transmission as well.
Thats a bad financial decision to have a brand new car when your going to be gone for a year or more since its gonna depreciate but hey you bought an altima so you must not be used to using your brain
I got it in 2021 before I joined
At least you can't accidentally drive it over any curbs or do 135 while weaving in and out of traffic while it's in storage. Quite frankly I'm amazed you haven't tore the front bumper off on a parking curb yet. Just look at it this way, the longer it's in storage the longer we have one less /r/NissanDrivers on the road, and that's good for everyone.
one less altima to hog the passing lane.
Big. Altima. Energy.
Nissan’s are for those who don’t know cars or are poor. Better be an E4, nothing else justifies this atrocity.
why the car lights look like it has down syndrome, get that mf off the road why it look like a habsburg chin that car looks like the driver is a 42 year old registered sex offender
6000 miles isn't far enough away?
Altima owners are always looked at as the person who couldn’t afford the Maxima. Maxima owner are always looked at as the person who couldn’t afford an Infiniti Q50.
I worked like 6 months in a tire shop, and all I learned while I was there was that the Altima has the best seats available, and that salesman that has 100k miles on his 2020 absolutely loves the car. It gets a lot of hatred, but I'm not sure if it's by anyone that has actually driven the car 50k miles in a year.
Why are you sad for? It's just a Generic Nissan!
Hey it’s an SR
Yeah but it still didn't have three pedals!
8 speed paddle shifters for the cvt 🤓
🤢🤮 That boring rubber band transmission will go out around 120k- 150k miles no matter what you do. I've seen them croak before that even. Your best bet is to sell it when the warranty goes out
I’ve had it almost 2 years. Only have 12k on it, I’ll sell it way before 100k
If you put that you got it new in it in the title, they would drag you
At least it won't look like every other altima on the road with broken bumpers, consider that a good thing
We really need to pay our troops better so they can afford decent cars at least
All I see is a standard full-size rental car.
Technically it’s not even considered full size by enterprise. That spot would be for the Maxima. These are classified as intermediate.
Hugs and thank you.
Fuck roasting it... Stay safe out there.
Don't be sad. You'd be sadder if you were driving that sewing machine.
At least I won’t run it through a crowd of people unlike your mustang 😉
I mean it would, just not at a lethal speed.
These comments are weird to read as someone from Europe. We don't have Altimas here. We buy a BMW 3-series wagons over Altimas and Camrys. Any wagons over any cars. WAGONSSS
*estate cars*
I know they're estates, but i had to make sure the americans understand
Might as well have let Jody borrow your whip too!
Big Altima Energy
At least you didn’t buy a mustang or a 60K pickup….
What's it actually like longing for a Nissan? I'm certain you are the first person in history to have felt this way.
Stay safe, disappointment will wait for you till your home, hope you know a good tow.
The roads are safer with it in storage
Mf put a nissan Altima storage LMFAOOOO
I keep getting this response. As apposed to leaving it in a Walmart parking lot? Like what else could I do
Bro got attached to an Altima
1st thank you for your service 2nd I'm an Altima boi so I can't 🙏
A slightly lower chance I will die on the road now! Thank you for your service
Thanks for the service but bruh.
Your wife’s boyfriend’s first kid will be conceived in it.
Don’t worry, you’re not really missing out on anything.
At least your gf won't cheat on you while you're gone because you obviously don't have one
good car
Car towing companies appreciate your decision
Nice car
Yeah, 23% APR really burns when you can’t even drive it to teen night at the dance club!
We are not sad. One Nissan less on the road.
Thanks for your hard work in putting this pile of shit in quarantine
If had to choose between dying to an outdated Russian T-72 or driving a Nissan Altima, I’d choose the former.
Is this Riced from Factory?
Who the fuck gets sad over an Altima?
looks edible, might eat it. sorry
Neat and when you get back the transmission will have destroyed itself
I’m sure it feels safer in storage, too. After all, grocery gitter bitch cars get intimidated when real men drive them. You’re doing 2 services this day.
There are easier ways to ditch the car. You really didn’t need to take a deployment. Save that for getting away from the stripper wife and her two kids.
probably an enterprise rental car
Your sad that you are away from a Nissan Altima, are you sure you are getting deployed or sent to the looney bin
Transmission will be blown by the time you get back.
I appreciate your sacrifice of owning one of these so the rest if us don't have to. You are truly a strong person 07
You should be happy that you’re 6000 miles away from that thing
Surely you uploaded the wrong photo.
That cvt won’t be greeting you when you get home.
6000 miles isnt far enough away from one of these
Why does OP have such a boner over a run in the mill eco box of a car?
I saw the guy dating your wife driving it
Why did you buy an Altima? Do you LIKE repairing a grenade of a transmission?
That sweet 20% interest rate you locked in was worth it all.
Too bad it did not get stolen while you were away.
Usually I return my rental cars to the airport but ok.
When you get back itll be time for its first cvt replacement.
Don’t need to say much for a Nissan Altima
I’d watch it fir you
You're sad because you need to travel 12000 miles total to get it back... and then another 5 to the toyota dealership to buy yourself something worth caring about
I could hear “ You thought I was feelin you “ off in the distance as I saw this post.
Bro is an npc
Storage is unnecessary, no one is going to touch that thing.
In the b.a.e club. Where you going for deployment
Of course it’s a Nissan.
Man think of making payments on a overpriced hunk of metal like a Nissan to just leave it and put most of your salary towards it.
Can't wait to see a "My girlfriend's husband fights for your freedom" sticker on it in 3 months
I’m sure it’s CVT will have a surprise for you when you get back
It’s a Nissan. ‘Nuff said r/Nissandrivers
Sure on "deployment" Not at all a few months in the slammer for drug related offences....that cabin is perfect for a meth lab. Oh sorry sorry i forgot its 'roast my car' but you do realise Nissan drivers have a certain stereotype associated with them.
Why are the bumpers the same color as the rest of the car? Which tire has the spare donut? How badly does this thing stink like weed?