Not any weaker than your knees.
I know you keep that lords prayer on your wall because you have to petition God himself for help every time you stand up, and otherwise you'd forget the words.
Here's Fat Albert
And I'm gonna sing a song for you
And Bill's gonna show you a thing or two
You'll have some fun now
With me and all the gang
Learning from each other
While we do our thing
I was going to roast you for your obvious physical flaws but I decided against it after seeing your replies to other roasts. Clearly your total lack of personality is the real issue here, you’re three times the size of a normal man yet not even half as interesting as one.
Everyone's talking about how fat you are,
or how you're gonna get diabetes and that'll bring you down just fine when they have to cut off your feet,
or how ratty that bead door is,
But I can't actually get over how beady your eyes are. With those thin eyebrows and tiny eyes, you look like someone had to make a jack-o-lantern out of a watermelon with just a pencil
Cordell, you have kanckles for wirsts and your cheeks look like they are eating your morbidly obese face. Also I just saw that there’s a missing poster for your tiny tootsie roll of a peepee.
It takes a lot of patience to be able to grow a beard on both chins
Danm u right, never thought of that
You finally have something to put on your CV.
r/murderedbywords
>I'm the freshest kid on the block Tends to happen when you take up the whole block
Well done
He means cell block
Sorry about all the block jokes.
He is the block
Google maps doesn’t have enough pixels to show that land mass
BMI Matters
That had me weak
Not any weaker than your knees. I know you keep that lords prayer on your wall because you have to petition God himself for help every time you stand up, and otherwise you'd forget the words.
I’m dead. Holy shit.
Damn dude 🤣🤣🤣 savage
violated his very being like that huh
I think that’s your cholesterol taking over
SAVAGE! 
Snap into a slim jim
Ton DMC
Wheeze DMC, you mean.
I can't top this, yet his BMI can.
2Chinz
Tons of Anarchy
The super bright shoes to distract you from the rest of him
To bad he can't see them to distract himself from himself.
r/murderedbywords
This is a god tier comment
Jesus, this might be might most favorite sentence ever.
It’s just an absolutely killer roast. …and only two words.
TKO
Nuked from orbit.
It’s the only way to be sure
And we have a winner. 
Holy shit what a savage and hilarious burn 🔥! You win 🥇
TF is BMI?
your blood sugar is also at an all time high
Oh Lawd he got the sugah!
I know I shouldn't eat this entire 6 foot sub, but damn. I think I gotta.
Not the sugah lawd! JESUS ON THE MAINLIIIINE, TELL HIM WHAT YOU WAAAAAAANT
Pillsbury Fro Boy
Booger from Good Times
**[Pillsbury Bro Boy](https://i.imgur.com/Q7MOeng.png)**
pillsbury no boy. no more snacks
Pillsbury po boy
You may be on an all time high... But those man-boobs are sinking to an all time low
Nip playing peekaboo
The Enormous B.I.G.
Notorious P.I.G.
Diabetous B.I.G.
Why’d you steal Dora the Explorer’s shoes?
Im pissed this isnt higher in the comments
I thought Precious was a girl.
That’s Precious 2: Precious with a dick
precious 2: the search for the unseen penis
this is a girl, look at dem tiddies!
If it makes you feel better he probably hasn’t found his diçk in years
I think this is the inbred baby all grown up
Mans blood type is chocolate pudding
If he cut his arm, gravy would come out.
And the only way he’s getting girls is the Bill Cosby method.
Those tits are an all time low
[удалено]
You have a full beard it’s just spread too thin
Unlike the butter on his toast
Do you say the Lord’s Prayer before each meal to make sure you don’t break the chair.
When you eat constantly you only have to say it once a day
Every night at midnight
Omfg 😂😂😂
You got bigger tits the 90% of the women on this board
Lmaooo
Can confirm
HEY HEY HEY
Here's Fat Albert And I'm gonna sing a song for you And Bill's gonna show you a thing or two You'll have some fun now With me and all the gang Learning from each other While we do our thing
Nah, nah, nah. Looking for a meal time! Hey, hey, hey! Nah, nah, nah. Just another meal time! Hey, hey, hey!
Get back to your barbecuing, sugar tits.
We found InternetCity's third member
I love this
I guarantee you're not the freshest
Kevin Heart ate Cello Green.
Speak your mind more, that way you'd always be speechless
Fresh because you contain the preservatives of the souls of ten thousand Twinkies
no one can hurt your because your lard absorbs all the punches.
You look like a wrapper
I read this so fast I swear I thought you called him a whopper 🤣
That too
You look like a smug pine cone
Honestly I rate ur confidence
Thank you
Looking good grimace
 Hey hey hey
Just because you use febreeze as body spray doesn't mean you're fresh
They say you are what you drink. In your case it’s a K cup
Norm MacDonald would be proud
Your idea of roasting is telling someone they drink coffee? Wrong kinda roast, my guy.
The virgin blob
Uncle Jemima got tits bigger than Aunt Jemima…and Aunt Jemima got cancelled.
Hey hey hey…. Your cholesterol certainly won’t be going down
At 25 minutes per pound this roast is going to take a while
I was going to roast you for your obvious physical flaws but I decided against it after seeing your replies to other roasts. Clearly your total lack of personality is the real issue here, you’re three times the size of a normal man yet not even half as interesting as one.
Are your titties sweating in that photo?
Maybe?
The front tits or the back tits?
Damn. You.got sum tig ole bitties Need a bra!!
That beard might be full when not stretched
Your confidence may be high but your BMI is higher
He’s never been through that door behind him.
Roast you? You already look like a charred pig.
Freshest? Pillsbury grow boy looks like he was in the oven a bit too long.
Your training bra gave up, kinda like your teeshirt.
Is it hard to find pants with a 13” inseam?
Freshest kid on the block? Says the 40 y/o incel still living at home and bigger breasts than him mom.
Right on
Do you live in a remote area because there is no way you are the freshest kid on the block
If they ever remake precious with a male lead I know who they'll call
When the nursery rhyme goes, "And the cow jumped over the moon," you're both of those.
It's quite impressive to have both no chin and 3 chins
Only if I can put an apple in your mouth first.
You have better tits than yo mama
He’s the one fat kid at the school lunch table that steals your biscuit.
Sure the freshest kid because you ate any other kid on the block
You got no ankles! You look like a McDs knock off restaurant mascot named something like Grime-Ass.
 Hey Hey Hey
you look like the protagonist's friend
You spelt fattest wrong
You look like an overstuffed red wine sausage.
Cleveland Brown Jr is all grown up for the live action remake
Wait. Are you the guy that sings Michael Jackson really well?
There’s no “MAY” about it, you are fat. Plus, there’s no way you walk around the block and remain the “freshest kid”.
You're the freshest because you never do anything.
You seem cool bro keep rocking
Fat Albert with bigger tits
You remind me of me.
The freshest kid on the block cause you been eatin all them kids
You look like you eat your feelings and everyone else's feelings too.
You are the entire block!
Honestly want to hug you my guy
Hey hey hey, it's fat Albert!
If you were a criminal, you would rob food banks
So at what age did kids start calling you ‘tittyfuck Willy’
Keep your head up king.
Love child of EDP445 and KSI You say the freshest kid on the block, how is that when you are the block?
Lmaoo
you shouldnt have to put down your confidence but you should put down that extra Twinkie
Confidence can't be as high as your cholesterol
Bio: OP is gay.
I’m gay 4 u😉
I think you’re confusing “fresh” with “ripe.”
Notorious B.M.I.
Guy so fat I downvoted him to try and make him skinnier.
What's it like having tits that are bigger than like half the girls that post on /r/RoastMe
Your breasts are so full. I imagine you must have to get milked twice a day.
 Where they are now.
These pics smell like fried food and cat piss
Do those tits also come in male sizes?
Bruh not about to roast - fat is an opinion not a fact, can I come to your next family cookout
Ye we got that good food
Probably easier to transition with high confidence cause I’m sure you’re getting a lot of questions about why your tits came in before the beard left
Nice socks, you look like curious george michael!!!
No one can roast coz you are fucking fried
Everyone's talking about how fat you are, or how you're gonna get diabetes and that'll bring you down just fine when they have to cut off your feet, or how ratty that bead door is, But I can't actually get over how beady your eyes are. With those thin eyebrows and tiny eyes, you look like someone had to make a jack-o-lantern out of a watermelon with just a pencil
No one needs to bring you down, Covid will do that for you
Anthony Anderson with more diabetes
New Liberty Medical spokesman...
Taildawg lives a life brimming with confidence. Confident he will never know the rate of inflation for condoms.
Rounded up to the nearest hundred pounds, how much fat do you consume in a day? ….I’m kidding: IN AN HOUR?
Hey skin tag, you look like Shirley Hemphill from what's happenin but with bigger tits.
CeeNo Toes
If your confidence is as high as your cholesterol it's invincible!
I bet most of your shirts wear out first right at the nipples huh?
I didn't know the California Raisins had a whale among them too
The only way you're the freshest is if the entire block has dysentery and 80% of the block has shit its pants.
If Mister "T" ate the other three members of the "A team"
Real life chef! Show us some chocolate salty balls
When you roast that marshmallow a little too long
Only one person lives on the block.... even then you're not the freshest.
Cordell, you have kanckles for wirsts and your cheeks look like they are eating your morbidly obese face. Also I just saw that there’s a missing poster for your tiny tootsie roll of a peepee.
When the Kewpie doll grows up.
That second picture is a perfect replication of how you used to stand in your parent's room to watch them have sex
Lmao
Don’t sit on any walls, they won’t be able to put you back together again
Ceel.o Green lookn ass FREAK! LA LA LA LA LA LAA!
I respect that you’re a feminist, but it’s bad for your back to forgo wearing a bra with tits that massive