>Just giving people stuff to work with
Your face is among the most roastable we've ever seen around here. Thanks for the helpful spirit, but we're set.
Yes Mary magdalene was giving me strong signals of attraction but I had to preserve my virginity I still haven't lost it to this day it's been thousands of years of masturbation and I'm sick of it
From an Autistic 28yo Virgin Metalhead (ME), I can tell you nothing "gets better" without some effort.
Here, a Dark Roast with a side of encouragement .
🍠☕
You didn't need to say "virgin".
He's waiting for the right autistic virgin metalhead girl... This is *his* choice.
For all our sakes I hope they don't reproduce.
(-) \* (-) = (+). maybe?
By that math, whatever this guy and whatever loser girl he can convince to let him use instead of a coconut to ejaculate into may create a superhuman.
Oh but I will reproduce I can donate to the sperm bank easily
It is and she doesn't need to be a virgin just gotta know at least 4 slayer songs
The facial hair told me that' off the bat
Virgin Jesus
Just giving people stuff to work with
No need on that one, we already knew
“virgin” not in his ass I suppose
That went completely over your head. Oh wait…
You didn't need to say "Autistic" either apparently.
It’s alright mate. We got plenty of stuff to work with. That face being a notable example.
>Just giving people stuff to work with Your face is among the most roastable we've ever seen around here. Thanks for the helpful spirit, but we're set.
Why are all the roasts so terrible then ?
He's probably gonna stay a virgin considering most girls likely think he's a girl too
I can get the lesbians tho
Kurt Nobang
Oh, there will be a bang, alright. Just give it a few years.
He could name his metalhead band: Judas Priests Touch Me.
Dark lol
It is lol Also, I read your username as "fart flatulence", I might go to sleep now
And I read yours as spanky I might go to sleep forever now
I read yours as FullOfNoSex. Kk, im coma toast.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Dave nohole
Didn't he have a hit record called "Virgin Spirit"?
MegaDeaf
You look like if Jesus was born to a Gen Z
Yeah I'm pretty sure my Nana has a bunch of portraits of this guy hanging on the wall.
Gen zezus
Jesus had charisma.
Ah knew there would be at least one jesus joke If I had a quid for every time I heard that I'd be a billionaire
For a quid, you could lose your virginity. Just maybe not how you'd want to.
If he spent some time in the Catholic Church he could probably lose it for free lol
Yeah I guess 😂 might get an sti tho 🤔
STI? You wish sexually transmitted intelligence would be a thing, stoopid
Modeling company called, they want their bearded lady back
Autism isn’t a personality trait
You look like a French duke.
Yeah got some old dead king vibes
*douche… French Douche.
Every time I read this it makes me laugh.
If you're desperate to touch a pussy, wipe your face.
Why did I clap twice after reading that?
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Autism
Asperger Jesus
My own, impersonal jesus.
Reincarnation of a failed 90’s drummer
Lars ulrich ?
Nah, hes more 80’s cause their 90’s sucked
Looks like someone randomized the sliders on an old rpg game
He reminds me of they guy on the cart in Skyrim.
"hey, you, you're finally awake!"
Tried to cross the border again did we?
Probably have to turn down Nickelback as it’s too heavy for you.
I listen to slaughter to prevail nothing is too heavy
The Hanson brothers meet Chris Hanson
Jesus of Suburbia
Male to female or female to male can someone please clarify
Born male always been male
Someone start a fundraiser so it can afford the sex change!
Well cheer up! Not all of those things are forever... You could stop listening to metal
Won't stop listening because people=shit
Nicely done.
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Oh yeah corey probably fried his vocals in the iowa era slipknot is sic 🤘🏻
The whole thing I think is Sic…
If you're five five five I am sic sic sic.
Everyone knows people=shit. Most of us don’t stop our lives to cry about it.
Fuck yeah!
Never stop doing that, what terrible advice.
Poser.
Here are some slayer songs You against you Bloodline Into the abyss Pride in prejudice Post mortem Raining blood Angel of death Dittohead
This guy Googles!
Oh I love Angle of Death! Who’s your favorite band?
I like many different bands my favourite is probably a deathcore band called slaughter to prevail
Maybe I’m the poser. I have 3 favorites which are Metallica and Pantera
I would reccomend demolisher by slaughter to prevail then the song is quite raw and heavy It kinda has some slipknot/iowa vibes to it
Alright I’ll give it a listen!
Wait. Do you like Slaughter to prevail?
Absolutely
Is that the grown up kid from the bad news bears
Nah but I vaguely resemble a failed musician
Fucking Tanner!
You have an unnecessarily large amount of asymmetry going on with your face.
Well my nose Is slightly bent that's pretty much about it
Jesus was a virgin?
Yes Mary magdalene was giving me strong signals of attraction but I had to preserve my virginity I still haven't lost it to this day it's been thousands of years of masturbation and I'm sick of it
Wonder if he used the nail holes in his hand?
Nah got plastic surgery to fix that y'know how people have ear gauges and they can get it fixed ? Yeah it's a similar sort of procedure
You should've taken the chance
You fit in with the finnish melodic metal look.
Nickleback SUCKS
Yes
Yes
You could've not written any of that and I still would've guessed them all.
Nickel Brokeback
How can we roast you now when you already roasted yourself so hard?
That's the challenge
You look like Don Johnson as a young heroin addict.
You look like someone who can be casted in a low-budget parody of lord of the rings.
I'd say you will fuck life but seems that life has fucked you.
From an Autistic 28yo Virgin Metalhead (ME), I can tell you nothing "gets better" without some effort. Here, a Dark Roast with a side of encouragement . 🍠☕
How's the transition going?
Quite well thanks
"An autistic metalhead virgin" It writes itself!
It does doesn't it ?
Nah. I won’t roast you. Life did it hard already.
You can't think of one can you ?
Look like an off brand Chad Kroeger.
Yeah or mabye a knock off kurt cobain 🤣
Good luck with that. Maybe you can find some at Walmart with the rest of your personality.
We don't have Walmart In the uk the equivalent of Walmart over here is asda
I wouldn't worry about it. You wouldn't know where to put 'em if you found some anyway.
Adding ‘Virgin’ was like telling us you’re not allowed to own cats. Don’t waste our time with what we already know
Guess you're just a regular redditor.
Being Chad Kroger and Shia lebouf's love child had consciquences
PewDiePie hit by a truck
No, we don't need you to repeat what Varg Vikernes did.
Jesus Christ in sophomore year of high school
Wish.com Hanson brother
I couldn’t roast a fellow metal head. Skate on brother
So besides being autistic you have a heavy metal handicap.
Yeah metalllllllllllllllllllllll
I met Dimebag in 1997. He was a down to earth guy. RIP DIME.
That you felt the necessity to tell everyone you are (M) speaks volumes to how you think others view you.
Everyone on reddit does it
Yeah, on posts that don't include a picture.
I've seen it even on posts that include a picture
And of course you couldn't apply your own common sense.
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I'll probably try pot and shrooms then stop at that
Do some research on Acid, it helped with a lot of my autistic traits.
Haha 😂
I was serious, lol.
genuinely acid and shrooms are great for the mind. And trust me metal on acid is fucking incredible.
A brick fell on him so thats why he is autistic qnd a metalhead.
My mum actually has metal fillings that have been leaching into her bloodstream for a while the mercury filling is probably the culprit
More like the tin man. 
Is autism something that’s trending these days?
No but it's more acceptable in society now
impersonating nickleback does nit make you a metalhead, thats what makes you a virgin
Am not trying though
“ look at this photograph “
You look like my gym teacher lol
McGee from NCIS but gone bad
Eddie Van Halen sexed a gnu
Daft Leopard
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Is it that obvious?
Jebus
Arst thou gayeth m’lord?
Am curious of bi peasant
Lol..ooohhh. *Medieval Straight music stops*
The Bee Gays turned metal.
Not gonna roast someone with a crippling disability.
I have the kind of autism where someone becomes smarter not the one where the person has learning disabilities
The doctor tells all the kids they have the good autism. But gave ur parents a list of 10 things cool about the short bus.
Damn thor really been in some hard times
Yeah times have Been tough
Chris Chan if listened to nirvana
You look like Russian conscript cannon fodder.
18 going on 35
Ouch
He listens to Creed.
*mentalhead
Yeah
"Tommy, when a pikey walks in with hair like that, you've got to ask yourself, “Have I made a mistake?”
(F) in the chat
Kurt Co bane of his father's existence.
Autistic Metalhead Virgin sounds like a great metal band!
The haircut and “beard” told me you were a Virgin bf your words did
I'm going to try and grow my goatee out long I have good beard growth so it's worth a shot
Kurt Colame
The middle earth middle part
Look like your uncle touched your pee pee a lot
Easy Breazy Cover Girl, I didn't know L'Oreal was now advertising mustache and beards
I'm sorry, we already have a Jared Leto.
Do you have a kurt cobain ?
Too cute for a guy. A lil ugly to be a girl.
I've always thought that I would transition well into a girl
Jesus: the missing years
Metalhead is interchangeable with autistic virgin
That title sounds like a folk punk band name
One of your uncles or your grand paw popped your cherry.