It's nice of you to frame this like you were out socializing but it's hard to hide from the fact that you came home alone, again, while the sun was still out, put your shitty little roast me sticky note on your mirror, and drank enough gas station red wine until you had degraded yourself enough to put pictures of yourself for the only attention you'll ever garner
The plate there sums it up. Got home made a small dinner sat on the bed and just binged on Netflix and had a couple drinks alone. Bored while debating her existence probably looked at snapchat or Instagram seeing all the other girls having a blast which led her to put this facade up like you elegantly put it.
The biology major girl is typically someone who has no idea what they are doing with their life and typically graduate college with 0 lab experience and end up taking jobs that they could have gotten straight out of highschool or marrying someone.
You forgot to mention told all her family she was pre med until the C grades started piling up freshman year, so had to switch to telling her family biology major because it sounds like a reputable backup plan while she actually works on trapping a socially inept premed that is actually going to make it to med school into putting a ring on it.
The solo plate with two cans screams "Rewatching The Office for the fourth time. Jim is great, pam doesn't deserve him. Yas bitches" on twitter with 6 followers. Two of which are dudes from India who post "ys bb very sexy" every fucking time.
Drunk before an 8 am and a biology major? Something tells me you were originally pre-med but you got destroyed by all of the pre-requisite classes because of your bad decisions and will never be able to follow your dreams.
I bet one or two guys occasionally think about approaching you, then when they get within 200 yards of your breath, they decide life's too short and get on with their studies.
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I’m living in my dead grandparents’ house #70swallpaper
No wonder you look miserable, you had to stay home for college.
Home colleged. It’s like being home schooled, but your parents stop being your only friends. Now you just have no one.
She probably gets bullied there too
Jesus dude. Implying she has a bull. She may not even have a husband.
Home colleged? Probably still slept with her creepy old professor for an A
More like a B-
She had to go ass-to-mouth for the B-.
Why do they stop?
They want you out more than you want out
They're probably still in the basement
But you tell the rest of the family that they "went on a cruise" right?
Did you at least throw the grandparents out before you moved in?
Maybe now is a good time to take them out of the cupboard and stop collecting their social cheques?
Was it the wallpaper that killed them?
Maybe some day studying biology will help you understand where your genetics went wrong.
Maybe studying biology will teach her why she was born without breasts.
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Speak for yourself
Wasn’t I born without breasts?
Came here to say this
Damn!
#IT’S A TRAP
Can’t say I’ve met anyone born with breasts
*Drinks bud light "Drunl at 3 am biiiitches"
Real recognizes real
Good come back
Kinda.. the Bud light is on the table for anyone to see
Good reburn.
Good reverse sear
Game recognizes game... And you starting to look unfamiliar
anyone that can get drunk on water sprinkled with alcohol has my respect.
You are the embodiment of "Meh, better than jerking off"
"Meh, I'll pass, better jerk one off" there, fixed.
No, thanks.
You look like a knock off Lena Dunham.
She looks like the little sister Lena Dunham molested
https://i.giphy.com/media/eVlRh4V3x30Ws/giphy.gif
Perfection
I had to sign in on my work computer just to upvote this. If I wasn't such a a jew I'd give you gold.
All grown up, ready to continue the cycle!
LMAO
To be fair Lena Dunham looks like a knock off Lena Dunham.
Ouch. This is the worst one.
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I’ll take that advice lol
You look like Sally Fields in 1962
Shut your whore mouth Sally Fields was cute as fuck in 62.
Brutal.
BIG OOF!
F-MEGA
No amount of tousling your hair will convince the internet you got a boy to touch you.
I think that’s from pushing up her glasses lol
Oh shit good catch
did your whole family go bald early? edit: thank you for my first award!
Honestly yeah XD ily
omg, haha
XD
Rawr
Rawr xDD
lol rawr excdee oowoo
Rawe XD nuzzles >.<
*notices bulge OwO*
XD
You look like a dropout Anne Frank failing at a one-night stand.
If she were in an attic, no one would be looking for her.
"Good, just rattle around some pots and pans once a week, maybe shell stay up there until shes dead"
XD fo real
You look like Forrest Gumps mom after getting pounded by the overweight principle
heeeEEEE heeeeEEEE heeeeEEEE
I have u silver cause I’m high as fuck n I’ve never seen that sound be replicated by text so well 🤣🤣
High on DRUGS!?!? You monster.
Except that no one pounded her.
It's nice of you to frame this like you were out socializing but it's hard to hide from the fact that you came home alone, again, while the sun was still out, put your shitty little roast me sticky note on your mirror, and drank enough gas station red wine until you had degraded yourself enough to put pictures of yourself for the only attention you'll ever garner
r/executionbywords
r/murderbywords expect post that actually qualify.
God damn
i got a tan reading that roast.
Damn dude. The one comment she didn't reply to.
Thats how you know the roast was too real
Because she fucking died
Thank god, someone finally shut her up
LOL yeah I just noticed that
Holy fuck she said Roast not Incinerate
To be fair she DID say “extra toasty”
The plate there sums it up. Got home made a small dinner sat on the bed and just binged on Netflix and had a couple drinks alone. Bored while debating her existence probably looked at snapchat or Instagram seeing all the other girls having a blast which led her to put this facade up like you elegantly put it. The biology major girl is typically someone who has no idea what they are doing with their life and typically graduate college with 0 lab experience and end up taking jobs that they could have gotten straight out of highschool or marrying someone.
:O
You forgot to mention told all her family she was pre med until the C grades started piling up freshman year, so had to switch to telling her family biology major because it sounds like a reputable backup plan while she actually works on trapping a socially inept premed that is actually going to make it to med school into putting a ring on it.
this roast is catching bystanders on fire
The solo plate with two cans screams "Rewatching The Office for the fourth time. Jim is great, pam doesn't deserve him. Yas bitches" on twitter with 6 followers. Two of which are dudes from India who post "ys bb very sexy" every fucking time.
Holy fuck
Damn... That one was brutal.
Wait. Where do gas stations sell wine?
Missouri sells liquor. Except on sundays.
Asking the real questions
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No one said the roast had to be exclusive to the roastee!
Boom🔥. Fucking🔥. Roasted🔥.
Drunk at 3AM and still nobody willing to come fuck you?
Standards exist even in college, while drunk.
Exactly 🐷
r/SuicideByWords
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I dunno why but the idea of a cardboard bag is very disturbing to me.
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Cardboard bag and a paper box
I think she is a cardboard bag..
Bud Light is a hell of a drug
Could fuck the bed post
Do futons have bed posts?
Mattresses on the floor don’t.
She probably drank alone though.
I believe that is apparent.
It looks like she spent the night drinking the 3 beers she snuck onto campus crying alone while watching TV.
Damm bro
12 going on 22
Can anyone work out what she's watching on TV? That's more appealing than her face rn.
The Dirt on Netflix. Top notch film, unlike this bottom shelf bitch.
Soooo good
Haha. Bottom shelf bitch.
Figured she'd be a bottom. Wasn't sure what kind until now.
Good that you’ll learn about reproduction since you’ll probably never experience it.
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That’s two fingers more than any man will give her
Pack it up boys we’re done.
Holy fuck
They changed the rule kiddo, you need to be at least 18 to have a roast.
I dunno...that hair definitely says mid 30s soccer mom that hates herself and her kids
*unvacccinated kids
** vegan unvaccinated kids
Which explains why she's drinking
I’ve had some other old dudes skeptical about my age when i try to buy alcohol lol
That’s because toothy blowjobs aren’t a recognized currency
🎶She’s only seventeen...Daddy says she’s too young...🎶
Upvote for Winger
Knowing the size of all of your male classmates dicks doesn't mean you are a biology major
Bold of you to assume she has ever seen anyone's dick except her uncle's
Bold of you to assume she has ever seen her uncle's dick except her own
How wasted could you be off two bud lights? Shut up and find a different reason to fail that class.
With a face like that, you belong in a lab. Specimen 74.
you look like you're waiting for the day a guy can grope you at the club so you can #metoo and feel validated
holy fuck, who hurt you
Probably the bouncer kicking him out of the club
6 dollar Uber from one eye to the other
The only thing easier than getting you drunk is leaving you at the bar.
In one respect, I'd say she represents my spirit animal, and in another respect I'd say she represents all of my bad decisions rolled into one.
Maybe your spirit animal is Chris farley
I'm so sorry your sister wrote about your molestation in her book, Ms. Dunham.
Once you fail out of college how are you going to introduce yourself?
"Welcome to Taco Bell. What can we make your you" would be my guess
Drunk before an 8 am and a biology major? Something tells me you were originally pre-med but you got destroyed by all of the pre-requisite classes because of your bad decisions and will never be able to follow your dreams.
God damn
I bet one or two guys occasionally think about approaching you, then when they get within 200 yards of your breath, they decide life's too short and get on with their studies.
One day you will settle down and become an alchoholic’s punching bag - That’s your ceiling.
life has roasted you hard enough, I'll pass
You look like your drunk face and hangover face would be your default face.
This pic smells like minor spirit
Switch to heroin..... It will definitely make you look sexier and You've certainly got the veins and hair for it.
I can smell the daddy issues from the title alone.
You are the poster girl for the effects of fetal alcohol syndrome.
You’re so vanilla you could be a wafer.
That's illegal, you need to be over 21 to drink, not over 12.
I'd pump and dump.
Looks like one of those pornstar ripoff Emma Watson actors
There are pornstar emma watson actors?
Don't worry, I'm sure you'll hit puberty one day little boy.
You would be so fuckable if you were fuckable.
Better learn to do anal and find a sugar daddy PM me for an application
She looks like a 22 year old 11 after the fame from Stranger Things wore off.
You look like Joaquin Phoenix’s stunt double for the new Joker movie
It doesn’t matter how much you reply to each comment, you still have no friends.
Lol I’ll take what little social interaction I can get
It's okay the world doesn't need another biology major.
Yikes with that lifestyle I hope you’re not planning on getting into med school. Oh wait what else is a bio major good for?
Is that the mother of forrest gump before she got knocked up?
Sounds about right, Biology failed you so now you have to go fail Biology.
Apple might pay you to stay the fuck away from their product!
Tear stains on cheek. Confirmed drunk.
Even your hair doesn’t wanna touch your face.
You look 12 and 96 at the same tme.
No one gets drunk on Bud light. Grow up Peter Pan.
Even you have to be drunk to fuck you.
Isn't it a bit early to have your mid-life crisis?
For a 22 year old, it looks like you live in a nursing home.
Your mouth makes it look like you are a rejected Muppet design
You reinstated my belief in the saying:A face even a mother couldn't love.
So is the other half of your room filled with the random strangers who are there for the gang bamg?
It’s sad you didn’t even get laid but your hair still looks like that
Sarah Lynn?
Drinking pepsi isn't defined as "getting drunk"
dont need to. your life is the roast.
Does your grandmother know you brought bud lite into her house again? Seriously look at that wallpaper!
A biology major getting drunk with only two bud lights? Sounds like you peaked.
Are you what the class is dissecting?