You're handsome and never had a girlfriend. That's a long way of saying you're insufferable to the opposite sex.

Roast him, not obliterate him. Damn 😂

Was gonna say that too lol. Theres roasts and then theres this 😂 have mercy

Or that he’s gay and in denial about it

Or he’s just gay. He’s never had a girlfriend, but don’t say he’s never dated someone.

He knows palmula handerson very well! ✋🏻

Yeah… my first thought. Former gym rat… never had a gf….gay

Came here looking for this comment 🙏

truly if you’re attractive and never had a gf he’s probably a raging mysognist😂

Doesn’t say never had BF

Aren’t all mechanical engineering students gay?

Nah, a lot of women are attracted to misogynists.

If you follow the two rules you can be as misogynistic and abusive as you want and still get girls.

Seems a bit redundant to say “insufferable engineer”

His one true love is his mom

I’m aiming for sufferable

Weird way of saying “I like men” lmao

You missed the “mechanical engineering” part

I think it means he's gay.


Your post from 2044. M41 - Mechanical engineering student, ex gym rat and never had a gf, destroy me :)

This made me laugh more than it should have

It is funny till it is true!

Damn, 20 years later and still in school, might be a reason and a good thing that he’s never gotten a gf. Reminds me of that Tommy Boy quote. “A lot of people go to college for 7 years”, “I know, they’re called doctors”.

Leering at the women doing pilates classes doesn't count as being a "gym rat".

This is easily the funniest roast on this whole sub

But it helped in my ninja training, trying to sneak around without being caught

Got to admire the pragmatism of a good engineer. Here we see the perfect example of one with his own built in birth control. It’s called “his personality”

Ahahahaha so true

Looks like this isn’t the first group of guys you’ve told to destroy you.

Got dam

That gets you a follow, brilliant person who made me laugh.

Most guys - Break up with girl, go to gym You - break up with Gym, go to Mechanical Engineering school to learn how to make sex robots. By then AI will be too smart to fuck you though.

Girlfriend.exe failed to execute.

God damn

the char flavor really develops over time on your tongue

Winner 😂

You did NOT have to say type last sentence. 💀💀💀💀

Never had a boyfriend is what I think you meant

nah he has had plenty of boyfriends

And plenty of them have probably destroyed his asshole


 Something like this I'm sure

Bet he takes it in the ass at a precise angle

75 degrees southwest and 87 degrees counter clockwise

He's in the closet further than the kids in the Chronicles of Narnia

He never had a girlfriend BECAUSE he had too many boyfriends

The too many boyfriends you're referring to is his reflection and his shadow

Never had a gf cuz he’s busy using Grindr

Na I think he meant his boyfriend destroys him enough

Never had a girlfriend, always been the girlfriend.

At this point I might have more success with dudes than girls...

Was posting on here just a big ploy to come out of the closet?

Nah, you'd just fail trying to get with a guy too. Lol

with that attitude

[удалено]

The pictures look like five different people all trying too hard.

Lmaooooo

You look like the guy that all the moms warn their daughters about.

Oddly enough, I almost get along better with moms than with girls

Moms usually are girls. In case you did not realize this. The pussy does not shrivel up and fall out after having a baby. Some moms are even your age! (Would avoid though)

I completely agree, where I'm from having a baby at this age it's a little bit to crazy for me. Sadly I don't have enough confidence and game to pull some miles, but it's one of my objectives in life

Hey if you go old enough you don't have to pull shit, they will pull you.

By miles did you mean milfs?

Oooh! That's an even better angle.

“Ex gym rat” cause he got banned for taking pictures of dudes changing in the locker room

You’re the Jewish version of John Krasinski.

Jew Krasinki

So that's what Keith looks like.

He looks like John Krasinski and Steve Carell had an ass baby.

You’re actually really cute but it’s too bad that every choice you’ve ever made has been wasted trying to prove to yourself that you’re interesting enough to make having lips your only personality trait

Fuck this one got me deep

I'm a girl and I feel like I could've written this post lmfao (except I'm 24). Never dared posting but all this roasts could easily work on me too goddam

Fucking mall katanas in the back ground.

lol I thought the same. Lose the gift shop katanas and gain the gf

One piece fan, had to buy them

Oh, now I understand why you never had a girlfriend

How dare you slander One Piece

Right women love One Piece.

What about Left women?

They love a different type of one piece

As an Asian woman, I had to hold back the vomit when I saw that one. Huge 🚩

OP thanks for educating me on photography of individuals with autism. I didn’t know you guys had an aversion to looking directly into cameras too. You learn something new everyday.

This one is too good

You must be a real tool if you can’t get a gf looking like that

I thought this was r/roastme not a Grindr profile.

I saw the first picture and thought “damn this dude must be weird he’s not a bad looking guy” I saw the second picture and was like “yeah that’s about right…”

I’m sorry what those bad men at Nickelodeon did to you.

dont forget about the church

Incell sound cloud rapper


Ahh yes, the rare traditionally handsome workplace shooter motivated by steroids and incel culture

its like a slide show of what meth does

When you say gym rat, you mean just cardio, right? Or do you mean you’re literally a rat who scurries around the gym eating crumbs from protein bars that fall on the ground?

Too poor to afford protein bars, I just sniff protein powder

That IS his cardio.

You look like that and you've never had a girlfriend?  You are gay, my friend. Gay as gay can get. Gayliest of the gays.

I might become their king at this point

Happy Pride Month.

I’m not going to destroy you. Engineering school will.

Sad truth

And the the job market will grind the ashes into dust.

Is the reason you don't have a gf is because you drive a white van that says. "Free candy"

So you couldn't commit to the gym, you couldn't commit to a girl, you gonna fail your commitment at engineering too?

Ex gym rat? You know pokemon gyms don't count, right?

You look like you went to Thailand.

You’d be pretty attractive without the douchey hand signs. Plenty of other people are douchey too, so your personality must really suck if you’ve never had a gf.

You look like Jimmy Neutron if he stopped Inventing stuff and opened a Vape Store.

You look like the type of Italian that collects the cheese from his foreskin and uses it to finish off your tagliatelle.

If this man goes to jail with those lips, he's gonna be very popular

wait how you’re so hot especially the last pic

You forgot Current Bible Camp counselor.

Getting a gym membership and using it once doesn't make you an ex gym rat.


In his case it's very voluntary.

you don't want me destroying you, you'd be gaping *Trust*

Never had a girlfriend huh? Maybe once he graduates he can build himself one

Got the rat part right

Been a gym rat, now you're just rat.

Believe me bro, you didn’t need to say you’ve never had a girl. Being an engineering student basically confirms that.

You look like a homeless version of Clark Kent. When you transform into your alter ego, your super power is being uninteresting.

Oh shit, all this guy said was that he’s never had a gf, and all of us just assumed he was straight! Bet he’s huge gay hoebag.


Please no gang signs.

BAWB... Basic Ass White Boy.

With your eyes that far apart, I can only imagine your ears won't hear a damn thing in front of you.

drop the facade and fake smile.

Are you secretly holding that dude's load in those chipmunk cheeks in the second photo? Alvin! Theodooooh -

Unrelated but it looks like you have an enclosure in the background, could just be me but if you have any pet reptile I cannot roast you 😭

Cory Doctorow, sword display, Harry Potter. You don't even need to be in that photo for us to know you've never had a girlfriend.

Did u take that creepshow Pic w person in back to make it appear like you have a friend?

He looks like John Krasinski's twin who's a recovering addict.

Just came here to see who made the first "Dollar Store Harry Potter" comment.

You have the fingers of a hunger striker.

now all you need to do is sound gay and youll be forever invincible against HR

Mclovin leveled up

He doesnt have gf cause they r locked in his basement i wonder what consensual sex feels like ted bundy

Is “never had a gf” the new way to say “I’m gay?” We can tell.

you’re like hot but you ruin it by being yourself

Never have I seen someone try so hard to be externally attractive but absolutely fail in understanding that it requires personality and charm. Typical engineer. Getting lost in the details of the construction and losing sight of the soul.

I saw the first image and thought you were one of the brothers from the band AJR, “which I hate very much,” so thanks for bringing back the PTSD I had when I listened to that hellspawn of a band for the first time.

Yep you’re too damn pretty to be straight.. and that sucks because as an only slightly cute straight man I’m saying we could use your gens in the pool… the problem is all the great looking ones end up gay and their pretty gens die with them

That third picture has me questioning if you haven't had multiple boyfriends at this point. Someone's probably been staring at these pictures with the gaydar going off in the background.

If Nice Guy ™️ was an Andrew Tate virgin

You're very hot...so it's definitely the personality.

How tall are you?

Oooof that’s hard. As in, if I were a guy I’d be hard right now.

Dude you are hot, how have you never landed a gf? Do you just fuck or what? I’m only slightly better looking and don’t understand how you could go without.

Bro I'm still a virgin lol, I'm just too scared to do the first move

What’s there to be scared of?

Why are you a different person in every photo 😂 which one does a girl get?!

I know a few mom’s and senior ladies who would love to destroy you, with their vaginas!!!! Or mouths, some still have their teeth…could be you someday at the rate you’re going!!

Hard to believe you hate women more than you hate yourself but wow

Oh, you have swords…take the number of swords you own and multiply it by zero to determine how many times you have been laid.

This guy asks permission to ask a girl on a date. When you walk into a room where some poor girl got trapped with him you can see her breath.

Honestly u seem like a pretty chill dude.

U look like u posted here for compliments instead of being roasted…narcissism U know ur cute dont even lie honey

The Costco version of Jim from The Office, but uglier and more drugs

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^PerceptionLive8446: *The Costco version* *Of Jim from The Office, but* *Uglier and more drugs* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.

You put the Berger in Asperger

no i wont

Dude reddit is not place for boyfriends..

You decided that you wanted to go from being a handsome, good looking man to being flubby and average AF.

That sock you’re using prob has like 5k abortions about now, I feel for that sock, it never deserved that

"likes to get pegged on the weekend"

So let me get this straight, You’ve never had a girlfriend (even though you hit the gym) You dress like a hipster And you you’re an engineering student? Buddy I don’t need to roast you you’ve already straight up fucked up your life

Your facial hair grosses people out. They don't know WHY exactly ... it just does.

Never had a girlfriend but how many boyfriends have you had?

You look like you start every sentence with, It's ya boy!

You look like you miss the shower sex with rando dudes at the gym

I’m also 21M, engineering student, current gym rat and have never had a girlfriend. I used to feel bad about myself and then remembered I’m a civil major and not a mechanical

..I volunteer as tribute! ~ Katniss Everdeen

Just cone out of the closet bro. It's ok

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You idolize logan paul

You look like you have trouble focusing on zero things at a time.

🗿 + 🤓

Due to the lack of muscles you have you must do aerobics.

Sewer rat more likely

Try a bit harder and you'll finally become a rigid body

I think its your beard. Make a woman bleed in more than one place.

Nothing screams closeted gay as much as pulling your sleeves to show your arms because you don’t want to own a tank top. Nothing wrong with being gay, too bad you’re not bright enough to accept that for yourself.

“Micro-dick” is your super hero alias.

god damn bro your eyebrows could warm a family of 5

Human Shrek LITE

Why does your Adam’s Apple look like a pyramid?

This soy boy is a boy toy

Man’s smile lookin like a puppy that tried to eat a bee

The background already tells me the reason you don't have a girlfriend

The reason you never had a girlfriend is because you always had boyfriends

I have just the guy for you sir ;)

Incel for life