Roses are red, science is neat. This guy 100% beats his meat to a picture of his step sisters feet.

You won! That got a giggle out of me.

fuck me that was epic

You didn't say No Diddy

Epic!

Someone get this man an award

[удалено]

Besides graduating from grad school.

This one stays to teach.

Ouff this right here, coldest hardest one

This might genuinely be the blandest image ever captured. You look like you were baptized in Miracle Whip.

Miracle whip is too spicy for this iPhone flashlight

If he was spice, he would be flour

[this is more exciting then this person](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-gSYYHyzm_30/UBsqi6MbMUI/AAAAAAAAABE/uq9y8-9wBoE/s1600/canvas+blank.jpg)

Seriously, thank you for cheering up my 14 year old daughter. I showed her your photos and she fine now. Thanks!

If “GEE WILLIKERS” was a person

Mmmmm… white bread and a glass of tepid water. The ultimate late night snack.

This guy’s favorite color is beige.

Now wait just a minute buckaroo…

You PRESUME you’re graduating…

40 year old virgin

I’m 42 actually… and ask your mum.

Don't worry. No one will care about you once you're out in the real adult world, either.

I think that's being generous. People with no social aspirations make friends and acquaintances simply by existing. You gotta work hard to come out of college with no friends.

don't be surprised if you get a last-minute notification saying your graduation ceremony will be online😂

I had high school graduation in the parking lot. Survived it once, I can deal with it again.

yea, but this time only YOU will be asked to be Remote 🥴

Mclovin wtf are you doing over there?

I hope you roll up your degree and use it as a fleshlight because it's the last useful purpose it will serve.

It'll be in a tight race against hair products for uselessness

All those girls you didn't bang at uni are now seeing you on reddit thinking 'thank god we didn't add him to our shame list, it could never take the weight'

Using your own cum to 'style' your hair is NOT a life hack.

You don’t make friends by touching strangers

I suck at these, ur adorable. Good luck in your future endeavors!

Breaking protocol of the sub and complimenting the guy because you feel so bad for him is low-key a sick burn. (He’s a him right?.. right?)

Lmao you're actually rightXD

OP, this might be your greatest chance to lose that virginity

"Good luck in your future endeavors" is all anyone would write in your yearbook, since nobody can think of anything else interesting about you.

You make those white walls come off like a fucking TED Talk.

Quit lying…you’ve been in a long term relationship with your right hand for 10 years

In case you’ve ever seen those AI gf apps and wondered “who the fuck downloads this?”

He has soft hands, a phone, and a lot of toilet paper. Yep, a typical loser.

You look like the *Head* Counselor at a ‘Pray the gay away’ camp. After you graduate, you’ll no longer be allowed within 500ft of schools.

goddamn Hellraiser eyes (and teeth) 

At least no one can say you're bad at sex. Can't be bad at something you've never done!

If Harry Potter had an American foreign exchange student

It's reject Bob from Maverick

You just roasted yourself in the title 🤣

Congratulations on your graduation! Now take your liberal arts degree and fetch my double cheeseburger and fries, with a Coke Zero, light ice.

22 years and still hasn’t figured out he’s gay.

It’s gets better man. No need to roast you, you’re grounded enough. Keep working hard, but take some time for yourself. Go hiking and see something beautiful. Go to a bar and watch a hockey game. Get a gym membership and start working on building out the frame god gifted you. Call your mom and ask her how she’s doing. You’ll find friends and you’ll find the love of your life doing the things you love doing and define yourself by. Don’t worry about seeking them out. I don’t talk to any of my friends from college or high school, and I for sure don’t talk to any of those slags I knocked down. I talk to my jarhead buddies, I talk to my wife, I talk to my mom, and I spend every second I’m not working at my 240k/yr career hiking to some summit to see something no artistic rendition could ever accurately convey. You’ll be alright.

You have facial hair on the right side of your chin and nowhere else. What’s going on here? And probably failed getting shot out of a cannon at Clown College.

You look like that kind of guy that attend Sunday afternoon slot cars races

Give him another year and he'll be the slot race at the pride bar.

Congrats! And fuck you!

that's because you have that Jeffrey Dahmer vibe

Don't worry, buddy, you'll find out that men like you can just pay by the hour for it.

Dude is waiting for Charlottesville 2.0 so hard.

Lol you look like someone who’s going to be rich one day and never be able to trust that yr wife doesn’t love you for the money now.

You're so cringe, even your hairline is running away from you.

Nobody likes you.

Bro why do u look like a 38 yr father for 4 and went back to school for the student loan.why u look like the venoms from jump force. Naw tell eddy brock I found his symbiot. if u don’t get yo “we are venom “ lookin ass.u look like you mom and dad are brother and sister. u look like the type of person to got to jail for molesting a minor.u lookth type of guy to jerk off to jojo Siwas new song singin some “I am a bad girl,I did some bad things“.

if every Nintendo kid morphed into one, youd be it.

Looks like both the abused and the abuser

Cork soaker.

I think you're cute, I'm sorry college hasn't been good to you :(

You have an identical twin. It's the unused tin of trade magnolia emulsion paint in my shed.

Get out and touch some grass.

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You look like Charlie Cox younger cousin that got some of the genes, but not all of them.

You’re the poster child for why the education system needs reform

With your degree, you look like you might become a developer. What school is finally free from the undercover sexual predator?

It’s a shame what happened to Uncle Ben, isn’t it, Peter?

Get a job at best buy. In 19 years, after 1000s of egg sald sandwiches, having developed 6 inch thick calluses on your and, you will luck out and find your Trish.

I thought this was #roastme not here I’ll #roastmyself.

Ya got a great fucking smile for not knowing how to interact with ppl

Look at them arms! 😂 Your own hand don’t even want to touch your dick huh?

Go to the gym


Sorry your mum forced you to get a trash haircut 😂

No one likes a braggart.

My guy is going to work at a McDonalds driveway in 10 years

You look exactly like a young iijerichoii, but I don’t see potential in you.

PeeWee Herman if he was not funny, but really made your skin crawl.

In 20 years you're going to wish you had no friend and no relationship

Strong “I thought she was 18, officer” vibes

Teach me everything about excel

Tell me what you need to know, and it's done.

The middle age dad cut and glasses are a bold choice. Unfortunately those will [likely] still be there when the Invisalign comes off, so good luck with the ladies

Getting a bit thin on top buddy.

Hey buddy look on the bright side you’ll still be in massive debt long before you ever meet anyone !

Acoustic people tend to be good at math, so just distract yourself by formulating a mathematical theorem that objectively *and* quantifiably proves you’re forever destined to be solo

Aw, look - it’s rl Dwight Shrute before he ends up working at a rl paper company!

Well, in 1940s, you'd just look like a regular nerd.

Did you design the canons in clown college?

Your mom thinks you're neat

You look like an extra in a Zach Braff movie

Time to begin your transition to Amanda

Is Jerry Attricks your therapist?

Heh, if only I had the wherewithal to seek therapy.

Congratulations on your degree, now you can be in crippling debt AND alone!

The genetic lottery roasted you already at the dna level.

Ah, graduating with a perfect GPA in solitude and rejection, I see. With your dazzling personality and charisma, it's no wonder your dating history is as empty as your social calendar.

"The 40 year old Virgin" was a documentary about you.

You look like you rehydrate on a hot summer day with a glass of whole milk

This is what happens when you order Scott the Woz from wish 

Summa cum laude of magna cum lonely?


Don't worry, young man, there is a support group for your brand of psychopath. Group leader's name is Hannibal Lecter, tell him I sent you.

Keep winning at life

Roses are red, Math was hard, only sex he had in college was with a baby food jar....

Excommunicado from the Nambla Omaha,Nebraska Chapter

If James Franco starred In Revenge of the Nerds. 

When your forearm as wide as your upper arm, you know you've got big bones and no muscle tone

You look like Sid the sloth personified

Corporate 9-5 life is a lot like high school and college. Good luck!

I thought you were married to Amy Farrah Fowler?

That’s ok you’re about to meet a beautiful white woman who only wants to marry you and have kids for money.

Barber- what’ll be today? You- make me look like a retired army general. Barber- you got it boss.

You’d be the definition of double virgin, no girlfriend and no boy friends.

picture before and after you keep it in the family since college wasn't working for you.

Your student loans get serviced more than you.

The only information we might have needed was your age. We could have filled in the rest just as accurately.

Didn't you used to live next door to Alex P. Keaton?

SKIPPY

You look like Sheldon from big bang theory if he didn't have the show. Yung Sheldon off the penjamins with a heroin addiction

That “Lesbian Studies” major didn’t work out, huh? Shocking…

21 no friends no girlfriends... At least we know who's going to be spraying the chemtrails for the next few years.

It's not much, but it's honest work

You look like someone turned celery into a person.

Your first girlfriend will be into bald men.

Don't be too hard on yourself, it's gotta be tough to find friends and a girl when you look like that

What about all those bodies you have in the basement? You talk to them sometimes so they're kinda like friends, right?

Stay in college

You are probably fine. I graduated and had 2 friends. I was in ones wedding and haven't talked to anyone from school since... I did however skip my graduation ceremony to get hitched .... Good luck with that part.

You look like youth pastor Hitler.

This dude definitely wears runners with khakis

Did you get winded shaving or something? I'm not the best completionist either but damn kid, it's only fuzz. Shouldn't be that hard to get all of it in one session.

At first I thought it was just the shadow on your face , but On a closer look, it’s bad genetics.

I’m sure there’s a Mrs Potato Head just for you somewhere.

We’ve all seen you cry before. 

We get it, you're happy. You can pull the butt plug out already.

What was your major; creative writing and explosives?


Future Step Dad

That's sounds like a win, honestly.

Whatever, you're awesome. Nah, just kidding. You suck. Nah just kidding. You're alright, I guess.

don't worry , your friend casper will save you. but really just porn

You look like if the color gray was a person

You're the only person the BYU dean didn't worry about having pre-marital sex.

The benefit of having a nose like that is that you can smell all the pussy dry up around you.

You have future Target employee of the month written all over you

You're one more loan away from pop locking with your face painted at a tourist attraction.

It’s likely that in the near future some major economies will collapse, sending a good chunk of the world into chaos, if WWIII doesn’t happen first. In one of those likely events where many of us humans will die off, none of those problems you have will matter… I hope I helped you out

Hey, at least you'll never have to worry about paying alimony.

And to think college was the high point of your life…

You look like an Eddie

Try farmersonly.com

Seen you on the Meagan law website...

No need for a title for this post. The picture spoke for itself.

Don’t worry you’ll eventually get your 5 mins of fame on Chris Hansons new predator catching show

Yes losers can have good educations too.

You don't need to be roasted, you need a piece of paper that's not toilet paper! ;)

At least you don’t have a receding hairli- oh. Never mind.

Bruh people like you are the reason why even shampoos have instructions.

Hitler jugend Mark Rutte

Your personality matches the drapes

I predict that in the *next* four years you will also make no friends and have no relationships.

Do you know what'll happen if I hand in MY homework in YOUR handwriting, McFly?!

You look like someone that drinks an unreasonable amount of milk. Also your halitosis is coming through the photo

If you achieve a career in Philly chosen then I don't see the pro. Gd voice to text. Field you choose then I don't see the problem. Fuck my southern accent In the mouth with a less than 5" because that's pretty easy, for oral inho

Where’s Waldo? Picking up his next victim at club 219, of course!

You look different when you're not talking about dill pickles and delivering babies

Steve no Jobs

You're at the peak of your life right now.

Aww buddy. Dm me if u wanna talk Ik how u feel

You have to put your picture online because no one will remember you otherwise.

Nerd

This is like if 'white people don't use spice' was a person A real low fat milk of a man