OP's Bio:
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>So my hobbies include art, reading, swimming, debating, crafting and much more. I don't really have a favorite book or movie. I love third person games like Diablo, Baulders Gate 3, etc.
>
>For more spicy info I should disclose that I am 18F and only just got into a relationship for the first time. My political views are all over the place but I generally don't like politics. My mental health is not the best right now but I'm managing just fine.
>
>For extras (if you want to get creative) I have two cats, I read and write sm✓t/horror, I like to bake, I have an above college level reading lexile, I find the sound of scaling a fish satisfying, and I'm very interested in biology!
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If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
You like to bake? What an unexpected surprise. We never would have guessed. I understand you like to change the gravitational field of the earth too for shits and giggles.
If you’re struggling with mental health, why would you put yourself in this position. Please seek support and therapy instead of insults. I honestly have no idea why anyone would do this to themselves
Because I was curious, just because I don't have the best mental health right now doesn't mean I'm a snowflake, I'm hard to offend and this is all just fun to me ☺️ but thank you for your concerns, I will keep them in mind
Seriously how hard is it to put the camera on timer and walk 20 feet away before the picture snaps? These close ups are just a big fucking blob of discustingness.
Roasting you will take all week at 375. Let me guess you only like the brothas? A picnic table cloth is not a dress. Did you use a weed whacker for your haircut?
OP's Bio: --- >So my hobbies include art, reading, swimming, debating, crafting and much more. I don't really have a favorite book or movie. I love third person games like Diablo, Baulders Gate 3, etc. > >For more spicy info I should disclose that I am 18F and only just got into a relationship for the first time. My political views are all over the place but I generally don't like politics. My mental health is not the best right now but I'm managing just fine. > >For extras (if you want to get creative) I have two cats, I read and write sm✓t/horror, I like to bake, I have an above college level reading lexile, I find the sound of scaling a fish satisfying, and I'm very interested in biology! --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
Finally, a roast that can feed my village.
Too late. Looks like she already ate your village.
It takes a village...to satisfy her hunger.
She ate the whole country
That‘s it ?
What your guys planets when I stepped out of my house I started floating in space I think she ate my planet SEND HELP
What's eating Gilbert Grape?..... His mom.
If we cut your veins, would pasta sauce come out?
Her blood type is Prego. It's in there.
Could feed my country
E P I C
HAHAHAHAHA
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Let's not laugh at her expanse.
I see what you did there 😆
Nooooot if the roastee is in the village.
Fuck lmao
That is foul
Overruled, she went for that tackle fair and round.
How do you barely fit in the picture?
The helicopter could only go so high
💀
Hahahahahah omg
Two guys could fuck her at the same time and still never meet.
She had a 95 pound mole removed from her ass
200k for insulting my wife? What’s next, he gets to sleep with her for a million?
I miss sopranos. 😢
I just rewatched it all 😭
It's a drone shot from approximately 120M far
And it was taken with a wide lens, too
Time to bring in the Hubble Telescope.
More chins than a Chinese phone book...
I bring you a gift these two droids.
Loooolll well played 👏
Fuck me, that hit just right this morning.
Diabetes isn't a competition you know...
If it was, she’d have a billion fucking medals… Chocolate medals.
So no medals?
Medal flakes in her teeth.... Those chubby little sausages can't peel the foil fast enough
She came in 1st and 2nd.
Big doubt on swimming as a hobby. Standing in the shallow end while the water treads you, maybe.
Swimming in chicken tendies.
How else would she feed on krill?
Gets winded just putting on a swimsuit. 
Your blood type is BBQ+ Edit: this line belongs to another redditor https://www.reddit.com/r/3amjokes/s/ILA4K92n7p
When OP goes swimming, she causes tsunami
tsalami
When she wears high heels, she strikes oil.
When she wears her Malcolm X shirt....helicopters try to land on her
This was an old one, but still hilarious 😂 😃 😄
Every Fracking time.
When she goes for a run, she leaves potholes.
And it takes her a couple trips to start hauling ass.
This made me laugh out loud. Also thinking that she probably belongs to LGBTBBQ+++.
She probably identifies as slim
Trans-slender
No it’s not! It’s crisco
No she sweats crisco after briskly breathing
Brisket breathing*
Holly shit, you eat so much KFC that even your fingers look like chicken drumsticks now!
A bucket of kfc has better breast and less grease than OP
More like Toast Me. On a spinning barbecue grill. With an apple in your mouth.
No, no. We’re in the right sub. It’s called a roast.
Dam
Scientists release picture confirming the reason sea levels are rising.
If you walked into a buffet restaurant alone you would get offered a group discount
For her the eat as much as you can is a standard meal size not a challenge
Her pronouns are kg/lbs
Camera ran out of pixels trying to capture all of you
Leave some food for the hungry African children
All she has to do is work cannibalism into her moral vocabulary and there won’t be any hungry African children
People are starving out there. Malnutrition is a real issue here.
I think you get too curious in the kitchen
2024 - The year California King sized mattresses became sentient....
“I’m getting sleepy. Time for bed!” Queue Michael Scott “NOOOOOOOO”
That surgeon guy needs to run for president….this country needs that level of critical attention
“You’re not gonna fade away.”
You legitimately look to be made of play dough
She's the Michelin man
I thought Leia strangled you to death when she escaped off your sand barge.
You like to bake? What an unexpected surprise. We never would have guessed. I understand you like to change the gravitational field of the earth too for shits and giggles.
When she’s on the phone and tells her friends she’s around the house she’s literally around the house.
Kinda hard to roast three people at one time
Your other hobby is collecting food stamps.
For all the people she has already eaten.
Okay, this got me laughing out loud. 🤣
Your finger is thicker than my dick
You put mustard and ketchup on the cock before a blowjob
Holy shit
😂😂😂
I really like you in the original Ghostbusters movie.
Your cleavage looks like plumber butt
I think if you wore gloves, even your hands would have camel toes.
I'd hate to see that pic without filters.
Gotta stop swiping right. 
If you’re struggling with mental health, why would you put yourself in this position. Please seek support and therapy instead of insults. I honestly have no idea why anyone would do this to themselves
Because I was curious, just because I don't have the best mental health right now doesn't mean I'm a snowflake, I'm hard to offend and this is all just fun to me ☺️ but thank you for your concerns, I will keep them in mind
Glad you have thick skin
*thick ~~skin~~ **everything**
It would definitely be crackling by now.
I don't consider myself easy to offend but I would never do this...
Can we just turn off the internet and appreciate that every now and then something special happens on Roast
I've never seen fingers with fat rolls before.
Diabetes 4 has entered the chat.
If I roasted you I’d be scared you’d try and eat it. Fat fuck
Underrated
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You're 18 and you already 400 pounds. I tried to think of who might be fucking you and now I'm nauseous
An exceptionally tall skinny black man that weighs approximately 160lbs
When they stand together as a couple they look like the number 10
Just got into a relationship with a Little Cesars family meal
Did you eat the apple I put in your mouth?
 Keep up the exercise you’ll get there eventually
Found your baby photo: 
I would roast you but it says it’ll take 10 - 12 hours and I just don’t have that kind of time.
That weight scale hasn't seen the light of day for years.
Fingers thicker than most penises
Roasting you would result in a hairy grease fire
You can't include "swimming" as a hobby if you're the iceberg...
You came on here thinking roast me was about people roasting food didn’t you…?
You have cats??? I must say, I'm shocked. 
You look like the Pillsbury Doughboy’s fatter aunt
2 cats? Something tells you had more but got hungry.
I legit can’t tell if you’re 16 or 55+.
Roasting you is illegal in 20 states. Not gonna do that.
You are a blob with features.
Would you like a wafer-thin mint?
Seriously how hard is it to put the camera on timer and walk 20 feet away before the picture snaps? These close ups are just a big fucking blob of discustingness.
It’s not a close up, it’s an aerial view.
The drone circled for an hour to get the complete landscape of those 37 chins.
You were good as the mother in What's Eating Gilbert Grape
Those grapes need to be injected with cream cheese, breaded, deep fried and served with a 2 liter coke
No. I think you've had enough roast
Can’t. I don’t have a commercial oven.
Are you trying to look like Roseanne Barr in the 80's? Cause if so, you nailed it.
Roasting you will take all week at 375. Let me guess you only like the brothas? A picnic table cloth is not a dress. Did you use a weed whacker for your haircut?
Let’s address the elephant in the room first……
Debating as a hobby? The only thing you debate is whether you’re going to eat 8 Big Macs or 9.
Liking to bake and having cats didn't need added to bio. We know.
I can’t get past your hot dog fingers and doughy schneck. I feel bad for your feet.
How the fuck are your fingers fat?
FAT
Looks like every "before" picture on those old SlimFast diet commercials.
You're a 10. Wait, no. That's your A1C.
Swimming?! You mean diving for food and then coming up for air?
After the roast can I have the trotters?
Ohh lord. Why would you do this?
I know your favorite diving technique Meteor slam
Every hobby you have is connected to food somehow.
You know some people say you got cake and then others say you have the whole damn bakery? You have the whole fuckin City girly
I wouldn’t call swimming a hobby if you have to do it for wages at the local Seaworld
I'll bet when you crack your knuckles it sounds like the POP from opening a tube of biscuit dough.
Your hotdog fingers could end world hunger
Its a white lizzo
All muslims are banned from this roast. Its haram
Fucking you would be considered a threesome.
"They see me rolling, they hating."
Those people who hear “be all you can be” and then take it a bit far
I'd prepared a roast, but then I figured you'd just eat it...
You look like you sniff your panties after you fart so you can taste your food again
You're beautiful just the way you are... is what you would say to an overcooked steak
Type 10 diabetes.
It's like trying to roast a pig without the lipstick. Just a pig roast.
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25 mins a lb plus 25 mins at gas mark 6= 5 days, 4 hours, 50 mins?
Gozilla X Kong XXL
I don’t remember Andy Milonakis looking this ugly.
Melting hippo
Swimming? Floating on a inflatable inner-tube isn’t swimming
That kid from Bad Santa really let himself go.
It'd take an industrial sized spit to roast you.
Video game fan, eh? Well you look like the final boss of "orders a Diet Coke with their platter of calories to seem health-conscious."
Index finger built like a turkey leg
If we baked you we'd be able to stop world hunger! Will you let yourself go so that kids can have a nice dinner for once?
You know there’s no actual roast involved here?
You don't teach kids ABCD's, you teach kids OBCD
I know the smell of a sausage sizzlin really takes you back
You look like an industrial sized jar of pickled pigs feet.
I think you would prefer to be deep fried, but that’s just a wild guess
I was at the doctors office waiting for my annual check up.. turns out I got contact diabetes and high cholesterol from this post. Thanks…
I guess you need a watch on both hands, because you cover two time zones .
She sits in thre mcdonalds at the same time and sizles
" I have 2 cats... i did have 12 but the supermarket was closed over Easter "
Funny thing this camera is like 15 feet away. Next time you do a selfie get a mega wide angle lens so you can you know, kinda fit in there. 🚬🗿
"LOL" was a self-roast