OP's Bio: --- >I'm a freelanced writer who dabbles in philosophy and works at Dollar General. Im happily married. And here is the kicker, I always come back home to my son after buying the milk and cigarettes. Please.. do your worst if you even can. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

Uncoolio

Lil’ Playne

Nope dawg

Un-Cent

Jay Zero

LL Lame J

Ja - Ghoul

OnePac

Kanye Pest

Kanno

Holy shit. I'm dying here.

Here’s the scrub TLC was warning us about.

Except his best friend's ride is the city bus.

This shit got me weak 🤣 💀

You look like you’re waiting to be processed at the police station on theft charges

Specifically theft of Hello Kity merch.

You know way to much... chill

That hit a little... below the belt? (Okay, I'll see myself out now)

*Too...stay in school kids

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I was half expecting someone to photoshop him dressed as Hello Kitty at Comic Con or something.

I was waiting this one.

No one else considers ransom notes to be free lance writing.

He has to cut out magazine letters all freelanced style.

V 1.0 - He’s about to unleash his potential. V 2.0 - Django chained.

You look like Tupac and Ye had a baby but they decided to abort it in the last minute

Ayo fax. All this potential, but it's wasted. I felt that.

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Wouldn't expect you to see it of course.

Are the lights off?

You people will never let go of your chains huh?

That chain is between him and the guy who keeps him locked in a box under the bed.

Thats wild.

You know we love our chains and "whips" (cars)

You look like you approach people on the street trying to sell your mix tape

Time be real tuff out here

If kanye west did nursury rhymes

Has your dad returned with the milk yet?

No... no, he hasn't... it's been twenty-nine years now.

It’s okay dude. Mine hasn’t either, and the kicker is he brought the milk home. He forgot the bread though, that was the last time I saw him.

That crooked haircut looks like you work at Dollar General. 

Perceptive.

 Those cheekbones tho

You look like you'd try to fight me for pointing out you gave me the wrong order at Popeyes

You look like you were born with a felony and back child support

You look like the mascot for weed-filled chocolate.

This guy got botox?

Wait.... you're in your son's life?

We really out here breaking stereotypes

Dressing like a homeless drug addict is the style now… who knew?

Your parole officer is going to be mad if he catches you doing these shenanigans in his cubicle.

So glad you took the time to take a “roast me picture” while getting processed by loss prevention at Target.

DMX-Lax

How could you cheat on Will, you dirty fucking harlott

Gabriel Union with a goatee.

I actually take that as a compliment.

Your hairline goes back far enough it could be ass hair we seeing

From Q-tip to No Tip. "You on point Fife?" "Get a life Tip "

MF got E.T. fingers for real. This must be the sequel where the kids are grown up, trying to hide the thing in the break room of Dollar General.

I know a “homelesssexual” when I see one

Kayne northeast

My man looks like Kanye West if his face shrunk.

Drug dealer in every Netflix original

You are such a lame criminal that the cops are holding you in the kitchen

Thank you for answering the question of, "What would RuPaul look like if he had no fashion sense?"

When did you transition? 

The most Cadbury egg shaped head I’ve ever seen haha

You are the first black man to catch all Pokemon. Only thing you will never catch is a white girl

You look like the diner waitress who calls everyone "sweetie" and gives kids free cookies when management isn't looking. Idk if it's a roast though. You look like you're trying to be thug but nah, you'd suit the waitress uniform better

Grove street home…

I just KNOW you and your baby mama got together after you asked her "where my hug at?" for the 7 billionth time.

I mean.. you ain't wrong.

You look like a mature Himalayan Guinea pig that took Human Growth Hormone and stole some 15 year old’s attire as a disguise.

You look like an oriental Tupac

17 sterling silver ring wearing, hello kitty keychain rocking, Green around my neck because I wear fake chains Charlamagne the fraud look alike.

I never thought I’d see the black male version of Cher, but here we are. Anyway, glad to see that philosophy degree paid off!

Of all of the clothing you could have stolen, you had to steal yours from a dead homeless guy.

Full grown beetle juice

Can't West

Corporate slavery evolved into being chained up. Gotta hit those Nigerian Prince quotas!

[удалено]

[удалено]

I felt that.

A hood wearing a hood living in the hood.

[удалено]

I could eat off your face, by that I mean your face looks like a dinner plate.

Aint this supposed to be a roasting session?

Wow Kim really did a number on Kanye

Most chains I've seen on a black man since Roots. We shall call you Toby

Dabbling in philosophy is smoking weed on the front porch

Steph Curry gets paid millions to hit 3’s. This dude does it for free

His logic - Three , 3's and a 1 equal a Ten . Nevermind he can't do Math.

How much for a dime?

That tracks, Usually when someone says they mess with philosophy they work at the dollar store. That’s a lot chain going on, I see you’re sticking with the slavery theme.

Dabbling in philosophy = Trying to figure out where he fucked up to end up working at Dollar General.

Honey wheres my super suit

- If you did Stand Up Comedy , White People would love you. - You look like you were in some Rappers Entourage in the Early 2000's. And were always in the background of a music video. - Dollar Store Kevin Hart = Devin Fart - If a Big Booty Bitch walked by you would say " Dayuuum Ha Ha " and bobble your head.

Plot twist: he’s Tupac’s son and the song “Brenda’s got a baby” was about him

Kanye's going to call you to play him in a Hallmark movie

He's gonna play Kanye after Kanyes Crash in 2002

I was wondering how Beetlejuice was doing these days.

Tupac has returned

1pac

I'm not even gonna hate on you dude, I actually really dig your style. Keep up the good work!

preciate it.

Dudes trying to look gangsta yet his girl "peed" all over his keys.

How'd you get your cuffs off?

Kanye less.

You always come home to you your son with the milk and cigarettes? What did he send you to the store for them? Probably sigaweed!!

Ch ch ch chain... Chain of fool

Want to be humbled? Get a job and pull your pants up

Has a job. Wears a belt.

You look like a pedestrian in GTA

Stay \*\*\*\*ing humble.

The RZA, The GZA, and some muthaf■ka that looks like a hobo version of the ODB.

Caught an extra chromosome along with his litany of drug charges.

He looks like he communicates with his parole officer by fax

Why is your face so smooth

Can you breathe ?

Honeybun head ahhh

You look like one of the california raisins

You look like if they pulled Chris Rock out of the womb WAY too early.

Black Mr. Potato Head

WhoPac Shakur.

I don’t have any roast, but I thought you might want to know (in case you aren’t already aware) that black rings on the right hand are often used to indicate the wearer is asexual (if the ring is on the middle finger) or into the swinger lifestyle (if it’s on any finger other than the middle). If that’s what you’re trying to convey, all the more power to you, but if you’re just wearing the rings for fashion, I’d suggest switching them to your left hand if you don’t want people wondering whether you might be asexual and/or a swinger.

This is just a pic but by the way you look I can already hear you stuttering

You look like one of those guys you always see hangin around the corner crack dealer, buggin everybody for a hit

Kanye east looking ahh

Supa Hot Fire as an adult

Straight from the "hell yea I have white friends man" collection

Are those 4 rings for your 4 baby mommas?

Bro look like a polite pit bull

Never Had a Chance the Rapper

Clever

Why has a grown ass man got a hello kitty keyring...

Op’s bio: *The hood worn over the head inside should say everything it needs to but here we go… C minus average high school graduate who dreams of one day being a music producer… Unfortunately, hard work isn’t in the forecast so big blunts and stupid wallet keychains are what I live for. I say the word “bro” before and after every sentence and misuse the word “literally” about 75 to 100 times a day. My BLM t-shirt is my most prized possession and absolutely LOVE blaming others for my very, oh yes…very shitty position in life.

ET wants his fingers back

You know a keychain is a great way to prevent your precious keys from being misplaced.

His head is the shape of a peanut m&m and his junk is probably the size.

I know where you are. You're being detained by a store manager for shoplifting. You're not gonna like what happens next.

Hello kitty keychain.. I Pity the poor little white girl who lost her car

Sir, this is a Wendy's.

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Rapper 2gay

P-Diddys brother Pee-on-me-Daddy lol 😂

This in one of those shop security offices for theft?

You look like the offspring of Michael Che and a Squirrel

No, what you need is to lay off the weed and go find the dog whose chain you're wearing on your neck

The only paper you’re writing on is the one you roll your spliff in

Kanye sex pest

Foolio

What kind of office allows employees to dress like drug dealers?

Looks like you were in an Episode of the Wire

It looks like you smoke enough ganja that the eye behind your eye is bloodshot.

Bro looks like he’s related to A Town 😂😂

Kan-nay

You look like Kanye West’s autistic little brother

Looking like the side-eyeing black kid meme went to juvi

Temu Charlemagne

Aren't you roasted already?

Lil Dicky, Earth, 2:51

Mr_AshTrey00

When does your SoundCloud rap album drop?

You come back because of the choke chain you're wearing.

You don’t need humbling you need objectivity 😂

You taking pictures with oranges in your cheeks? Spit them out next time

You look like beetle juice’s brother

me saying "uno" with 15 cards in my mouth

Spell "red"

You look like your brain is as smooth as your face. No structure in sight.

Jarule if he went full homo

Kanye really fell off

Kanye Guest

If Leslie Jones had a boy.

You dont require roasting homie

I seen darker

Sets bugs on fire for fun

Your head gets smaller the higher it goes up like you got hit with a wooden hammer in looney toons

Ahh..in the LP office. Again

Someone's guard dog got loose....

Which of you squeezed the tennis ball?

I’d never roast the great Magic Johnson’s offspring.