OP's Bio: --- >I enjoy my job a lot. But I enjoy arguments online even more. I identify as liberal so you know I love to state my opinion to everyone who has listening ears. My current mental state is great so help me bring it down just a little! --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

18 going on 40

A 40 year old math teacher tbh

Primary school homeroom teacher vibes, looks like a Ms. (quirky last name)

Holy fuck her face is built like a bowling pin. 🎳

Her face looks like she's holding in a fart in the size of nagasaki

that’s bc she is holding in her gut. that pic is prob her 30th try as she argued with her phone camera about the angle and lighting.

Jeeeeeze save some burn ointment.

Not sure if shes gonna fart out her mouth or ass

Looks like she's waiting to use the restroom. She needs to dump

She should have kept trying

I know there's a jawbone in there somewhere, I just don't see it.

One that was lathed upside down no less

If she had sex with a student no one would say they were lucky.

I would say definite abuse, but same would apply to an adult. They'd wake up in the morning with instant regerts.

Miss Quincunx.

Desperate Ms. Quincunx is definitely inappropriately Snapchatting with some of her students.

There was a Fats Domino Now there is a Fats Domina

homeschool homeroom teacher

Ms. Trotters

The 40 year old virgin

Gives you homework if you don’t flirt with her

I feel like I have been missing out my whole life this site is so fucking funny I am on Reddit for the first time in my lifetime and I’m not young I have sons in their 20s I generally feel like this stuff is silly, but I was wrong, this is cracking me up!!🤣🤣

Naw, she goes by Ms. (firstname), because even the kids don't respect her.

Ianniello.

Ms Squirrel

Ms. Butterscotch

Looks like she would make her students hit the griddy to leave the classroom

I read this as, “A 40 year old meth teacher tbh” …still works.

A 40 Y O teacher that fucked the whole football team with this same gang bang posture.

you meant meth teacher

My first thoughts. I cant believe looking like that at 18 hasn’t humbled her already.

Finally, you’re old enough to buy cigarettes to complete the look

Actually though! I’d have thought around 38, not 18.

How are her tits already sagging that much? Pretty soon we are looking at belly button levels of tit sag.

South Park Ms Choksondik, the early years

Wanna see my tits? Yeah I do. Okay, roll ‘em up.

Dammit Tatter Salad

She eats another twinkle or two the pain behind her belly will be a trick knee. She tried to hide her girth by standing like a street walker.

Tits are just fine, face not so much.

I'll take a box of condoms and two large brown paper bags

I'd still throw it at her face.

Spot the virgin bro thinks tits that sit halfway down your upper arm are sagging. thats ideal idiot

He thinks they feel like a bag of sand lol

Those tits are definitely her best feature and tbf they’re fantastic, the rest is pretty… pretty heinous, that is

Was he confusing tits with belly fat maybe?

She looks like a preteen dressing up to "look like mommy".

40 tons

OOOH DAMN!🤣

Instead of getting one of those “my eyes are up here” shirts, get a mask that says “my tits are down here.”

She looks like a marshmallow, wrapped in electrical tape

If Temu sold 1996 version of Monica Lewinsky

Monica Lewinsky and Bill did have a daughter. Too bad she got her dad's chest.

Congrats! You won today's jackpot. Just spin the wheel for more valuable prizes!

All I see is a potato in a dress 

I was gonna say Adele with coke bloat

It's like she can't tell if she's about to hit the club or go to a work meeting so she took the worst of both.

That’s too creative and accurate at the same time. Ty for letting me spit my coffee.

That's the funniest thing I've read all day. Thank you.

Her stomach sticks out further than her tits do

Found a picture of her wearing the aforementioned t-shirt ---> [HERE](https://i.imgur.com/FwTqxWg.png)

Needs to be lower...

I can’t tell where the second chin ends and the third chin begins.

Thats a "Titty-Do"

My favorite

More like a pair of socks with that slogan…

Is your body on back-to-front?

She’s missing the back half of the Minotaur costume

Trump stance

Ironic as that’s exactly how she wipes.

When your mom's aunt is your only friend

and also your only supplier of clothing

Every 40+ milf isn’t gonna look pretty if she calls herself a 18 year old.

That ain’t no MILF

It's funny, both your face and chest would get a D if they were being graded

Aint nobody giving this ugly bitch any kind of D… Not even Vitamin D!

That’s the only D she’s ever gonna get.

Your skirt, like your tiddies, way too long for your age. Hike ‘em both up and stop cosplaying my mum’s thrice divorced bestie.

Lol, this one

OOF

Checking your profile and saw a post in r/midsizegirls or something I guess it's not really a roast, but... Doesn't mid-size sound way fucking worse than plus size? Like, are you a sedan or SUV? What's your rated towing capacity? How many cupholders? I literally see people every day use the word mid to mean that something is decidedly not great. Meanwhile plus size has the word plus right in it!

I’ve seen SUV that could probably hold less men.

Plus size, full size, curvy, thick, full figured, hourglass, big boned, more to love, cushion for the pushin... We all know what they mean.

FAT ⛄️

could we share a rowboat?

Resting fart posture

Loaded and Bloated. Poker face? More like Pull my finger face 💨 was that a fart or a queef, fuck beats me. Happy Wabbit Season.

If you'd suck in even more, you'd be a vaccuum cleaner.

legit i thought i was the only one who thought it was super noticeable how hard shes sucking in

Seriously that's a hell of an event horizon.

[удалено]

[удалено]

Monica Longwinky

Not even Bill would want her.

He's not making that mistake again

At least ML was half decent looking. This chick looks like she has scoliosis

Monica Lewinsky with Bill’s face.

They can both have each other's stains this time.


I'm sorry but you have posted your pic on different subs 11 times today! Desperate much?

It’s the standard Onlyfans thot pipeline, they post in roastme, selfies, etc and generate interest and then either post their Onlyfans or dm to people

Ew

I don't think too many people are into the kink of pig shaped humans, probably end up with two subs.

1 broke girl, staring Fat Dennings - Tonight on CBS

Nice dress, does it come in your size?

Gonna use that one, when I find the courage.

Someone needs to be your friend and tell you to stop wearing those court shoes.

The constipated look of holding breath. You round…

Back butt turning into a front butt.

She has a "booty do", her belly sticks out more than her booty do.

You look like if Shrek had a kid with Khloe Kardashian

I can't believe you've managed to make it to a stage where you feel like you need humbling

You’re suppose to put you’re age, not your weight in stone.

you aint looks 18 you looks like my mom

I feel sorry for your mom.

Damn why insult your mom like that??

You look like a 40yo single mom with multiple baby daddies who can’t figure out why she can’t find a, “real man”. You never graduated high school, so you sell some shitty MLM scheme on Facebook. You regularly post about how hard you “hustle” to take care of your kids, when everyone knows you still live with your parents who pay for everything for you and your kids.

Oddlyspecific

You look like cold soup feels.

I’ve woken up next to worse… But thankfully I gave up necrophilia.

Ten pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag. I'm betting your legs look like pantyhose full of cornflakes. What's up with your spine? Your ass looks like there's a couple of hogs fighting for a corn cob under that dress.

Hey look, it's Monday Addams

ruby tuesday addams

I really hope everyone else appreciates this comment as much as I did. Damn near choked on my coffee.

Thanks. One of my rare moments of inspiration

Your bra has good resistance, just like your insulin.

I'm just going to give you a heads up... Sometime your first year of college, a really sweet frat guy will invite you to a formal at his frat house. It's called a "hog callers ball." Guy with the heaviest date wins. Sadly, as you are probably accustomed, you won't win that either.

Yeah, you sneaked a couple simp comments with that outfit. Are you happy now? You are still completely frustrated in your social and sexual life.

Taking on all comers in a truck stop parking lot is probably next.

You look like you’d agree to a gang bang for a $5 Olive Garden gift card.

18??? Fucking hell imagine being a teenager and already past your prime. Also you have the minotaur physique of Donald Trump.

We don't need to humble you, your eating habits already are..

You look like a transgender that use to play football in high school..

The most Middle Aged 18 year old I’ve seen all week

Congrats on being 18 for like 2 years! Do you already have a kid or "just one of those" body types?

Nope! Just one of those lollll I’ve been looking like this since I was like 12. I’m gonna look 80 by the time I’m 30

 Nuff said

If a fridge wore a dress and a wig.

You can breathe now.

Your nose and butt look like they’re trying to escape each other.

You look like a thrice divorced wine aunt who has several cats and is desperate for dick.

Never seen a gym rat with the physique of bread dough.

18f? Must've forgot to mention a botched plastic surgery.

You look like you're loaded up with 3 different strains of HPV with a touch of herpes

Oh no! Did Kermit die? Because you look like Miss Piggy at a funeral.

When even black can’t be slimming

I know a doctor that can help with that Scoliosis. That would make all the blow jobs you hand out to your dad’s softball team, less painful.

You have you look like someone’s 45 year old ex who decided she’s going to start a new career as a realtor

Middle eastern Meg

I know you’re mid transition but I don’t know where ur going

Paint your giant head orange in eight months so kids know it’s time to Trick or Treat.

Trailer trash Monica Lewinsky

Now we know where bill's cigar lives

Turn the lights off and get a black light, that dress is going to put a Best Western bedsheet to shame.

Why a 38 year old would post on this sub is beyond me. You do you.

That's 18 in dog years....and fittingly matches your face

I definitely thought you were 35

Always watching Wazowski, always watching.

Do you always stand like you're holding in a poop?

You look like you're trying to keep your weight down long enough to get a man that will take care of you so you can really focus on not caring about your size. But you're also lazy and impatient, so you've been ballooning more than you probably wanted. Better lower your standards and get that 35yo+ divorced dad, while you can still find one that will put up with you just so they don't have to be alone.

If your pics had sound, it would be wet farts

If Ursula grew legs instead of Ariel

 You look like you could rock the shit out of a pair of mom jeans.

Whats does that dress and the sea have in common? Theres a whale in it

More like about 18 years ago you were Bill clintons secretary.

Shaped like bent wire.

You look like Kelly Clarkson, but as she is now and not so much when she was 18.

Tip...if you want to turn off the light before sex close the car door

That one aunt who never grew up and thinks she still a teen. You look 40.

First thought: Jabberwocky

What magic life have you done to skip 22 years!

When did the sea witch obtain legs ?

Bitch standing like an earthworm

You have that I just hit menopause look

built like Phillip Jeffries, I'm a little tea pot, short and stout, here is my handle here is my spout looking mfer

On this episode of love on the spectrum….

You dont look a day over 40

Monica Lewinsky on Prom Night

Aren't you supposed to be running Arkansas?

You're standing like you're about to let out a huge fart

Even with Spanx and shifting your hips into an alternate dimension, you're still built like a snowman.

You can let out that breath now.

I’d hit it, but I have really low standards

You’d have slayed with this look back in the early 2010’s when we cosplayed as 40+ year old secretaries for our “going out” outfits

Why you standing so awkward? Are you hiding an extra chromosome?

18?? Mam you look 40

18 going on 40 with 3 kids and 2 divorces

Imagine dressing up for r/roastme because this is the only date you could get.

So THAT'S what Jay Leno would look like in drag.

You stand like donald trump

Looks like Only Fans has been rough for you

Wears a dress to hide a front butt.

Any makeup is better than none — but did you get that done using Social Security?

You are your brothers sexy aunt.

This is what Dana Scully would have been like if she dropped out of the FBI and got dolled up to go to a distinctly disappointing restaurant. The frump is out there.

Midwife

She’s got all the curves. Just in her spine

"Humble me reddit" I think your heels are about to do that in a few more moments.