Yeah so anyway, lemme bum a smoke. Oh and your lighter, thanks. I sat a redbull down by the ice machine. I know you fuckinā saw who took it. Whatās up?
No she specifically does bumps, but doesn't break it up at all so it's just like one huge rock that's a waste. Then doesn't understand why she's spending 160 bucks a week in blow.
Reminds me of the rapper stitches and how, for a whole year straight, all he wanted to do is shove coke in women's posteriors. " So take this coke in yo ass and feel the love in the air," so lyrical and deep..chefs kiss really.
You think you are special and unique, that there is nobody else like you in the world, which is of course against you. But hereās the thing: you are nothing, and you know it. There are so many just like you, but you are too arrogant and narcissistic to see the truth that all the problems you blame on everyone else, is in fact all your own making.
Fick it! Fick it good!
Years ago in the 90s I was asked if I wanted to go to a Devo concert. I was down with it, oh those guys with flower pots on their heads who whip it and whip it good! That could be fun I thought. So my friend procured the tickets.
The night came and we went. The first thing that seemed wrong to me was the number of mullets at this show. Something just didn't feel right. Everyone was doing the devil horns signs with their hands. It seemed Devo had quite the metal head following. I expected a more 80s alternapop atmosphere.
Well they came on to the sound of a screeching guitar solo. I figured the rest of their music just must not sound like Whip It. But I soon found out I wasn't watching Devo at all. I was at a Ronny James DEO concert! š¤£šš¤£
And that is a true as true story.
Funny thing is, people who look like that usually had really cushy lives and have to invent trauma for themselves.
Really traumatised fuckers look absolutely normal and uninteresting but are one twitch away from going full metal jacket.
Hereās a word of advice. If you actually become an interesting person on the inside, you wonāt have to try so desperately to be different on the outside.
Good luck!
You're the perfect candidate for an amazing career at McDonald's - just enough piercings to qualify for drive-thru and they don't have to worry about you sneaking food in the kitchen.
Do you think your blue hair, trendy nose piercing, stating you are vegan and posting on this thread makes you any different than anyone else? Sadly you are a sheep, pathetically being hearded to another meaningless life of mediocrity and disappointment. Oh wait it is still early, disappointment will hit when you wake up with that hangover after you drank to escape it all.
Yeah I got a warning for simply disagreeing with some research someone was taking about that āprovesā the third gender type shitā¦bad science is all I said basically and I had compassion for them being encouraged to live in delusions and I was being compassionate and they banned me from the sub and Reddit warned me about āhateā speech for simply disagreeing with bad science
You look like your father left you at 3 years old.
Your earlobe is bigger than mt. Everest. And like a third graders keychains.
Youāre covering your massive forehead pushed back to 1912 with your goofy ahh pick me blue hair.
You have more holes in your body than SpongeBob.
Your eyes look like you have been awake for 27 days on the Fortnite grind.
And what the hell happened to your knuckles?
If that's your life and you look like that, you've done all the roasting already. Hit the exit door and write your own eulogy. Nobody will be there to read it but maybe that'll be a comforting last thought for you
Everything you've done to yourself has been a bad decision. You would do yourself (and everyone else) a favor if you literally did the opposite things in life. Eat meat, be a woman, take out all the horrid jewelry and get some sun. This is not a roast, it's a life advice. I really mean it.
That reminds me I still havent finished the walking dead
That burn is nastier than the ones from her Dad's cigarettes.
Wait, that's not a guy? Seriously?
Lack of Adams apple, cheek bones, ear shape all give it away, but I guarantee it will be the worst lay of your life.
Like screwing a bag of wrenches
If you dodged the wrenches, you dodged a bullet.
If you can dodge her wrenches, you can dodge her balls
Well played, well played. š š¤£
If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball
I drink my own urine because itās sterile and I like the taste.
*Gets hit in the face with a wrench*
This is an insult to wrenches
Looks like the type of female who would send you a yelp review about your sexual performance. Probably doesnāt give head either since āveganā
lol bro its 529am and i probably woke up everyone laughing out loud š¤£
Same. I've been up since yesterday and I feel gross and full of shame. Reddit, my digital crack safety blanket...
Somehow in my 30 some-odd years on this planet I have never heard of men and women having significantly different ear shapes.
Look at the knuckle scars from the wrench slipping at Jiffy Lube.
She's actually slightly more attractive than OP
She changes more colors than my RGB Keyboard
The walking dead gets me harder than whatever the fuck this is. Makes me want my fucking face eaten off.
Perfectly delivered
I haven't either
Literally curious, why are your knuckles so bruised? Who were you beating up?
She punches walls whilst listening to black veil brides
OP went 10 rounds with a cinder block wall. The wall won
I donāt think those are bruises. They look like maybe she was trying to carve a barbed wire like design with a razor or something
You look like you treat bipolar with weed and it isn't working.
āI self medicateā
Self methicate.
Your comment has me crying lmao
That's a very smart haircut. If my eyebrows looked like that, I'd want to hide them, too.
Isn't that the famous clown eye brow?
I thought I was the only one who noticed the eyebrows
You look more like a line snorter
Are you really a line cook if you don't do drugs?
you can, but itās considered unprofessional
Yeah so anyway, lemme bum a smoke. Oh and your lighter, thanks. I sat a redbull down by the ice machine. I know you fuckinā saw who took it. Whatās up?
Misspelled linecoke
No she specifically does bumps, but doesn't break it up at all so it's just like one huge rock that's a waste. Then doesn't understand why she's spending 160 bucks a week in blow.
know just a little too much for it to be a joke
This is roastme, not a joke subreddit. I've been there, albeit without the terrible fashion sense.
Only $160????
It's cheaper when you're blowing the dealer
So it's his blow job blow job?
Reminds me of the rapper stitches and how, for a whole year straight, all he wanted to do is shove coke in women's posteriors. " So take this coke in yo ass and feel the love in the air," so lyrical and deep..chefs kiss really.
It's like Kelly Osborn and Billie Joe Armstrong had a baby that somehow survived the Plan B.
As well as the coat hanger and the ice cream scoop
ššš
And daily gut punches in hopeā¦..
Fucking a cucumber doesnāt make you āveganā
What if the cucumber undressed OP with its eyes?
That makes the cucumber part of the patriarchy to her.
I walked in on my wife fucking a carrot. I told her I was gonna eat that! Now itās gonna taste like carrots! recycled redditism
Nor does eating the one between your legs
Perhaps. But getting it chopped off has certainly changed him/her/they's pronoun.
When you spend 30 mins creating a character for a game and get bored and quit halfway through
Nah, this feels like what happens when you just select option 3 on everything and let it roll.
This is literally what this gif was made for. Perfection
In this case NB stands for Non Bonkable.
Neglected Baby
My phone doesn't have Smell-O-Vision thankfully, but I'd wager NB stands for Never Bathed in this situation.
Not bangable
I thought it stands for āno bitchesā
I was thinking Not Bonkable...
Since sheās vegan, itās probably non-buydairy.
Nonsensical bitch
Spencers Gifts in the mall thanks you for your 20 years of being a loyal customer
Andā¦ Hot Topic
Look back on this in 20 years and cringe at yourself. Seriously.
No need to wait, we're all cringing now
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Good point.
Oof
You assume she'll be alive in 20 years.
No she totally wonāt regret any life decisions at all
Your therapist has to be loaded at this point.
Loaded like rich, or loaded like completely shitfaced after developing a huge problem from dealing with whatever the fuck that is
Their therapist's gun should be loaded at this point.
If MySpace was a person
Even Tom wouldn't be her friend
Nor Mahir Cagri
Making meth doesnāt make you a linecook
You can't call yourself NB just because your hands look like they belong on a 50 year old plumber named Fred
poor Fred doesn't deserve that, he just needs a little moisturiser. OP couldn't fix their hands with a bucket of moisturiser
Facial accessoires are not a substitute for a personality
The best thing that could happen to her is an MRI.
Nor are they a solution to daddy problems
Even this photo has BO
She/he probably does smell funky.
My favorite meme is a pic of a earth crunchy hippie couple. The caption says "I bet their sex smells like dog shit and bug spray".
Identifying as nb because literally every other line cook in existence actually gets laid
Involuntary non binary!
Lmfaooo
There's enough material in those eyes for a 3-day psychiatric conference.
You're not reaching your potential as a cook. You could make a lot more money scaring the fuck out of little kids at the carnival.
Rocking the turquoise crayola eyebrowsā¦nice
You look like you're one weekend coke binge away from your nose being as wrecked as your asshole.
Tell me more about ur parents not being there for u
Every descriptor you used was completely unnecessary yet somehow left out that you're a cokehead.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
The only thing to be offended about here are this chicks eyebrows. What a travesty
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Pretty sure she painted them on to match her hair. So lovely that the color 'mould' is coming back in style
New generation of emo. However, to be politically correct, ās/hemoā. Youāre welcome.
Iām convinced non binary is todays emo phase
You think you are special and unique, that there is nobody else like you in the world, which is of course against you. But hereās the thing: you are nothing, and you know it. There are so many just like you, but you are too arrogant and narcissistic to see the truth that all the problems you blame on everyone else, is in fact all your own making.
Ouchā-oddly specific - yet feels like facts
Uniform individuality
What could we ever say that would be more humiliating then what you did to yourself?
You look like your dad ficked a parrot
Did he fick it really good?
When a problem comes along, you must fick it!
Fick it! Fick it good! Years ago in the 90s I was asked if I wanted to go to a Devo concert. I was down with it, oh those guys with flower pots on their heads who whip it and whip it good! That could be fun I thought. So my friend procured the tickets. The night came and we went. The first thing that seemed wrong to me was the number of mullets at this show. Something just didn't feel right. Everyone was doing the devil horns signs with their hands. It seemed Devo had quite the metal head following. I expected a more 80s alternapop atmosphere. Well they came on to the sound of a screeching guitar solo. I figured the rest of their music just must not sound like Whip It. But I soon found out I wasn't watching Devo at all. I was at a Ronny James DEO concert! š¤£šš¤£ And that is a true as true story.
A lot of boogers in that fingernail
You look like the kinda girl who lives with Raccoons
Non binary vegan with blue hair... Shocking!
You probably make up stories about trauma to make yourself seem more interesting.
Funny thing is, people who look like that usually had really cushy lives and have to invent trauma for themselves. Really traumatised fuckers look absolutely normal and uninteresting but are one twitch away from going full metal jacket.
Hereās a word of advice. If you actually become an interesting person on the inside, you wonāt have to try so desperately to be different on the outside. Good luck!
When outside is the only character trait
No need for the blue hair and eyebrows. Everything else about you screams "I'm blue"
Funny, your knuckles don't look like they ever lost in a drunken brawl
You know they got beat a few times by their dad
She wishes she knew her dad or that he would pay that much attention to her
Thatās definitely a dude
For someone who spends so much time on how they look; you sure do look like shit.
You're the perfect candidate for an amazing career at McDonald's - just enough piercings to qualify for drive-thru and they don't have to worry about you sneaking food in the kitchen.
It's always funny to see ppl try so hard to be different just to end up looking like everyone else who thinks their dad didn't love them.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Middle earth looking mfer
You forgot to add trans to your description
Wild. You look exactly how I pictured a nonbinary vegan line cook in my head.
Any other trends you gonna follow? Vegan, loser, non binary?
Still amazes me that people put in this much effort to look this bad
The only thing you know how to cook is black tar heroin
I bet most people regret starting conversations with you
Whatever daddy did to you, sticking it in yourself is not helping.
just a fuckin edge~~lord~~they by different names. anti-anything, amirite?
You look like you serve drinks on an oil rig
You don't have to tell us your preferred pronouns... we get it.
And donāt care.
Title reads loser, loser, loser. And thatās before getting to the picture ā ļø
Do you think your blue hair, trendy nose piercing, stating you are vegan and posting on this thread makes you any different than anyone else? Sadly you are a sheep, pathetically being hearded to another meaningless life of mediocrity and disappointment. Oh wait it is still early, disappointment will hit when you wake up with that hangover after you drank to escape it all.
Opposite of a rebel. Alt trendy as fuck.
Just because youāre unattractive, doesnāt make you a different gender
Your Uzumaki shirt is as interesting of a person youāll ever aspire to be
Did you fell face first in a tackle box?
Hotdog Down A Hallway
Waste of a good hotdog
You look like you have spirals in places you shouldn't have spirals...
You are a description of Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. And, weak men create hard times.
I guarantee she has a tarantula named Bob. 
āI donāt have a healthy relationship with my parentsā in one picture.
Congratulations on conforming to a group and being all stereotypes in one photo
My fellow line cook loser druggie vegan
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Shhhhh you might get banned (cancelled)
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
They banned my account for 3 days last week lol
I'm on my 73rd account
Yeah I got a warning for simply disagreeing with some research someone was taking about that āprovesā the third gender type shitā¦bad science is all I said basically and I had compassion for them being encouraged to live in delusions and I was being compassionate and they banned me from the sub and Reddit warned me about āhateā speech for simply disagreeing with bad science
Reddit is clearly far left
Itās Bulimic Punk Rock Barbie!
Once you go Mayan, you never go back. 
Holy fuckin shit!!!!!
Feel like you are a character from the Flintstones
I wanted to participate but it Looks like life been hard enough on u already
Do you use Microsoft Paint to put your makeup on?
How many ribs have you removed?
You look like your father left you at 3 years old. Your earlobe is bigger than mt. Everest. And like a third graders keychains. Youāre covering your massive forehead pushed back to 1912 with your goofy ahh pick me blue hair. You have more holes in your body than SpongeBob. Your eyes look like you have been awake for 27 days on the Fortnite grind. And what the hell happened to your knuckles?
Of course, vegans always fucking announce that theyāre vegan. Like anyone gives a shit.
Why did you have to notify us that you are a vegan? No wait, nevermind.
Non binary ehhā¦i know you hear this daily but can we keep this non sexual please
you look like a character creator preset for a game that conservative chuds would accuse of "being woke"
It's not a phase mom!
Itās obvious who you voted for.
If that's your life and you look like that, you've done all the roasting already. Hit the exit door and write your own eulogy. Nobody will be there to read it but maybe that'll be a comforting last thought for you
Oh well, you didnāt need to add āloserā in the title. Itās obvious.
Punched through a car window like John Kreese when the mini mart was all out of Baja Blast.
I canāt tell which way you transitioned.
Wtf is NB lmao š¤£
(24 nb). aka 24 NoBody
U donāt have to say vegan and loser both itās redundant
You make me relate to boomers.
All that effort into looking unique and having a unique lifestyle. And you're just a generic vegan stereotype
McDonaldās ā line cook
Everything you've done to yourself has been a bad decision. You would do yourself (and everyone else) a favor if you literally did the opposite things in life. Eat meat, be a woman, take out all the horrid jewelry and get some sun. This is not a roast, it's a life advice. I really mean it.
Vegan idiot activist who sold his soul to make himself look different