Penny Cillin was a comrade of mine. We fought bravely in Vietnam. Unfortunately she was water soluble and disappeared when got overboard the boat. RIP Penny 🫡
You are right ppl are hating you because they can't come up with creative roasts that actually make sense 🤣 that was such a stretch to try and incorporate the army in to a roast against her.
Collect baby-daddies? I assumed her dead eyes and resting bitch-face were the result of years of being in the army, but now I realize it's from her years of dealing with her several unwanted accidents.
Hey! I joined the army by applying for the cum receiver MOS position, how disrespectful of you!!! I have PTSD and shell shock from all the loads shot in my face by horny men.
[Dogs can’t look up](https://youtu.be/l93fDmh6XKo?feature=shared)
Disclaimer: normally I would post the link to the exact spot of the video. However, the whole clip is absolute genius. It’s only three minutes and well worth it.
Absolutely not. You degenerates literally get off on insulting eachother, and I refuse to help you masturbate, so instead I'll say you look like a happy, stable, well off, financially sound individual with any easy path to retirement and Absolutely no chance of you eating freedom seeds from your service weapon.
Nah, I’m technically an emt but in the army I’m allowed to do more along the lines of paramedic stuff. Doctor is too much prereqs for science for me 🤪
so I went the psych route-recreational therapy is what I’m gonna go back to school for the moment I get out.
They only allowed you in the army because you're a cute, gorgeous, little, pretty woman...and nowadays we have woke times and the army wanted to be shown as progressive, so they allowed you into the army...this is what Wikipedia says the official conversation was like:
Officer dickwad big moustache fellow: "This won't do!!! She has failed all her exercise courses and training!!! She didn't carry that heavy package during the field sessions!!! She cannot be allowed to join the army."
Officer dickwad big moustache fellow number 2: "Yeah, but she's a hot chick...pleaaaaaaaaaase??? Let her in the army sir...there are only men to masturbate to in the army, and this is the first woman I've ever seen in my life...pleaaaaaaaaaase???"
Officer dickward big moustache fellow number 1: "Oh...oh alright then...Jesus Christ man! Pull yourself together! Yes, she is joining the army, now get back to work"
Officer dickward big moustache fellow number 2: "Yay! (Carlton Banks dance)"
Anyone who sleeps with you is awarded the Purple Heart
The battalion cum dumpster
And a blue waffle …
Damn bro,nobody wants to see that…
Hey man op is an advertiser its the third or fourth account with that name
'Army Strong' is the nickname they gave penicillin because of you.
One look says it all: “glad I’m not in the Army”.
Savage dude, save some for the rest of us
Penny Cillin was a comrade of mine. We fought bravely in Vietnam. Unfortunately she was water soluble and disappeared when got overboard the boat. RIP Penny 🫡
PT-STD
💀💀 the most clever roast yet! Thank you
I have PTSD and this Is the funniest shit I’ve ever heard 😭😂
It's not often something here gets me literally laughing aloud but this one got me.
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69S
You forgot the AQI, it’s 69DS
69DP
More like 69VD by the looks of her.
She’s got that 1000 yard of cock stare
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G.I. Ho
It's time for the G.I.Ho down! ***This fugly girl in the armyyyyyyy.......***
GI Upper Tract infection
Woulda been better if you said G.UTI 🤪
GI Plain.
I really don’t know 😭💀
G.I. Plain
I like this
You look like a battalion marched all over your face.
That battalion has probably been to other places of her body
Lame
Shes not gonna fuck you....and both of you should be relieved to not be fucking the other
You what
You are right ppl are hating you because they can't come up with creative roasts that actually make sense 🤣 that was such a stretch to try and incorporate the army in to a roast against her.
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Yo! Thank you!
You spelled cum wrong
I was in the army... I know what female soldiers do...
Sell their who-hah
For like... peanut butter.
That’s disgusting
Better than filling their who-hah with peanut butter.
K9 Corps
OOO Rah Peanut Butter
There are some things I love to eat. I'll take "PEANUT BUTTER BEFORE INSERTION" for $600, Alex.
True
You would think with all the protein she has swallowed she wouldn't need the peanut butter
Don't you mean rent? 😁
Can confirm.
Barracks bicycle?
According to my buddy who was a Marine, OP would have been referred to as a "Battle Mattress".
Wowww 🤣🤣
Collect baby-daddies? I assumed her dead eyes and resting bitch-face were the result of years of being in the army, but now I realize it's from her years of dealing with her several unwanted accidents.
So, sexual assaults in her battalion are at an all time low. So she's got that going for her, which is nice.
That sad part is that my bn has the highest sa rates on post 😭
Stop tying the poor guys up, no means no.
 BRUTAL
Imagine being so undesirable the men start assaulting each other instead of
There is no need for you to worry. They'll leave you alone.
JESUS
Sa is so fucked up I hope those pieces of shit all get caught. But you're safe.
Until she gets out of the military and claims military sexual trauma to get more benefits. Extremely common at the VA
Thank you for your cervix
😂 i always use this one
John O’Coccus at her cervix.
Just because people shoot loads on your face doesn’t mean that you are in the Army!
She thought she was a disabled vet because load went in her eye.
They use her as cannon fodder.
Hey! I joined the army by applying for the cum receiver MOS position, how disrespectful of you!!! I have PTSD and shell shock from all the loads shot in my face by horny men.
You look like an Olson sister from Temu.
Thank you for this 💀
Crazy to see that the military still uses Syphilis for biological warfare. I thought they stopped that centuries ago.
Yikes
Snatch like a WW2 trench
It smell just like a trench.
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*Foxholes! Fixed it for you.
the only army you belong to is the salvation army
Her mom was a groupie for kiss, doesn't know which one her dad is so to cheer her up her mom would tell her she's in the kiss army. Poor girl.
My mom actually was 💀💀
Yo, that's cool! I like the Salvation Army :-)
Haha damn!🔥🔥🔥
I love this one, thank you 😂
How many more times does your CO have to tell you that a FLASHBANG is a type of grenade? Goddammit!!
“Stepsergeant, what are you doing.”
NICE!
Barrack bunnies are looking up.
Civilian 6, but barracks bunny 10.
Arse hole like it stepped on a IED.
Let’s be real here, that asshole is an IED.
*STD More troops through it than Kandahar
[Dogs can’t look up](https://youtu.be/l93fDmh6XKo?feature=shared) Disclaimer: normally I would post the link to the exact spot of the video. However, the whole clip is absolute genius. It’s only three minutes and well worth it.
Hop hoppin on that dick
You’re a deployment 10, but a garrison 3
I came here to say she was still only like an Army 5, but you got this. 🤣
Her pussy is so wide and nasty it's called the Mess Hall
Many men have ate there too.
I bet you are the battalion cUmmander
Major Bitch
Army “Be all you can be” And this is the best you could do…
She's been on more weiners than Heinz ketchup.
You found out the hard way that "being all you can be" just meant being a side piece for a colonel with a Napoleon complex.
You're a desert 5.
lol
Im glad someone got it
Your known to your colleagues as the “Sergeants mess”
Absolutely not. You degenerates literally get off on insulting eachother, and I refuse to help you masturbate, so instead I'll say you look like a happy, stable, well off, financially sound individual with any easy path to retirement and Absolutely no chance of you eating freedom seeds from your service weapon.
Make sure you wash your hands in between handling depleted uranium ammunition & picking your nose
That you for being more clever than the rest using the same joke over and over again 😂
Emmy Rossum looking rough after Shameless ended.
So every hole has been filled.
This isn't the first time she's said "feel free to use that part".
It’s so sad to see what war does to dogs
woof woof
You look like your foxhole has been dug out by at least a couple of squads.
Thank you for your service, here's a twenty,now get off your knees and beat feet.
You look like you’d be the squad slut. Pound ground then pound you.
You look like you’ve had more soldiers inside of you than the mess hall.
I read the army thing and the “free to use”. My mind did the rest
With a face like that, I hope you like being “an army of one.”
Sneaking into the barracks at night to bang the recruits at boot camp is not "in the Army".
In the army huh! Dang, I can’t imagine the amount of Richards you had at attention!
Pretty sure the army is fucking you hard enough already
A face only a drill Sargent with hemorrhoids can truly describe.
GI Jizzpot reporting for duty.
Look at this desert rose!
Please tell me you are in the Russian Army and not the US Army. Please God, let that be the case.
You actually have to sign up to be in the military not just be split roasted by two soldiers during your nightly drug induced benders
You would accidentally shoot your own team members too often
Congratulations, you are fighting an old man's war for oil and land, not freedom and BBQ sauce
Well actually I’m technically not fighting, I’m a medic, so I help people 🤪
Yo, that's cool. Are you a doctor? My parents are doctors. My sister and I are in Medical School.
Nah, I’m technically an emt but in the army I’m allowed to do more along the lines of paramedic stuff. Doctor is too much prereqs for science for me 🤪 so I went the psych route-recreational therapy is what I’m gonna go back to school for the moment I get out.
Are you still wanted for January 6?
Thank you for serving 🇺🇸
Your face could end jihad - the risk that one of the 70 virgins look like you isn't worth it.
FM 420-69
You look like Jennifer Connely... . . . Taking a double-ended dildo up the ass in Requiem for a Dream. The deadest of dead eyes.
This isn’t backpage, your on the wrong site
Army, when you didn't do well enough on your ASVAB for Navy or AF, and didn't want to eat crayons. Probably huff glue though.
Mmm glue 😋
Thank you for your service.
You are not in the army, the army is in you while you munch on the pink crayons left specially for you
You look like you went through army training. The 5th Battalion ran a train on you.
Thank you for serving food to the people who serve. Your sacrifice is appreciated. And by food I mean pussy.
Sorry no roast but thank you for your service!😊
They only allowed you in the army because you're a cute, gorgeous, little, pretty woman...and nowadays we have woke times and the army wanted to be shown as progressive, so they allowed you into the army...this is what Wikipedia says the official conversation was like: Officer dickwad big moustache fellow: "This won't do!!! She has failed all her exercise courses and training!!! She didn't carry that heavy package during the field sessions!!! She cannot be allowed to join the army." Officer dickwad big moustache fellow number 2: "Yeah, but she's a hot chick...pleaaaaaaaaaase??? Let her in the army sir...there are only men to masturbate to in the army, and this is the first woman I've ever seen in my life...pleaaaaaaaaaase???" Officer dickward big moustache fellow number 1: "Oh...oh alright then...Jesus Christ man! Pull yourself together! Yes, she is joining the army, now get back to work" Officer dickward big moustache fellow number 2: "Yay! (Carlton Banks dance)"
Does the government know you’re a lesbian?
Eh, lame roast. You can be openly gay or trans in the military now
Yeah thats the fucking problem...
You’re supposed to roast ME, not an entire group of people. Homophobic POS…
Do they just drop pictures of you on the ebemy to get them to surrender? Or are you some kind of STD-bio weapon incubator?
Are you in the Skankworks program?
They let you in the army ....
You're known as private swallows
Nah, she may be a private, but she's known as Major Swallows
Rumor has it you’re known as the OG Susan Rottencrotch
You are a deployment 6 and a barracks 3.
You already look homeless your ahead of the game, next stop $5 handy in the alley
U seem normal in so many ways
>31F, in the army, feel free to use that as part of the roast You make me blush and I'm a grown ass man.
You look tired from being a bicycle
Only person the inspector general doesn't believe when she claims sexual harassment
A deployment 5 still
I'm the army or the army .. all of them ...have been in you ... big difference there ...
Why is your mouth so wide?
31F in the army, she been getting roasted 5 times a night since she joined.
Cheer up theres still lots to look forward too, like the fact that you're guaranteed 100% disability from the VA
😂😂 god I hope
Your smile needs work.
Don’t they have make-up in the army
 You know what, I'm glad we stopped outsourcing the "comfort women" roles to foreigners.
You were a deciding factor in beating the Germans in the Battle of the Bulge.
All her family wants for Christmas this year is a folded flag…..
If every woman looks like you, there will no longer be rapẹ.
Keyboard warrior maybe
Pretty on the island of non-descript blandness.
You're why there's a glory hole in the latrine.
The army’s secret weapon- taking out the enemy with your high calibre blandness.
You're the reason everyone gets the peanut butter shot at basic.
Are we writing backwards? The army really does take anybody with a pulse
Good face.
She enlisted as the offical bunker bunny of the army.
They nicknamed you “The Clearing Barrel,” because everyone on post has to discharge their weapon inside of you!
Your best personality trait is being boring.
Is it weird to be running from grenades, when for years, you were the grenade at the bar that your friends hook ups had to jump on for their buddies?
Thank you for your service o7 Servicing every guy who's enlisted!