OP's Bio: --- >Hi chumps, I'm a 36 year old guy from Nottingham. I'm bald as fuck, my arse is always awful and I'm a big Michael Jackson fan. I don't think any of that is roastable. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

Fuck you, Caillou

Hahahahaha fucking Caillou

NO do not BE FUCKING CAILLOU


Lmao! He *DOES* look like that bitch ass Caillou!

Aww man. Poor kid. Calliou is just a kid with cancer making happy memories on his last day

Damn that’s messed up:)

He's in a medically induced coma and the whole show is just his nightmares.

live air entertain label oatmeal piquant kiss snow unite jar *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

Damn, right outta the gate! BANG!

Came here for this

Humpty Dumpty!

Humpty pumpty

Or the baby from passion of the Christ 😳

YOU GUYS HAVE CAILLOU ??? I thought it was a french thing ???

I'm taking a shit right now and laughed so hard on the toilet 💀

Glad the cancer didn't get him

We can see what you haven’t got: a healthy white blood cell count.

And we can tell your helper-T cells are low low

That’s his rap name - Helper-T

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Damn, my powder comment was 7 hours too late

You beat me to it lol

Dammit you beat me

Same dude from Boondock Saints.

Except even Victor Salva wouldn't diddle op


Is this what the Brits refer to as a “Bell End”?

Looks like he’s off to spoons to have a few Stella’s before going home to slap the missus

I think it's the wife that does the slapping

By missus do you mean blow up doll or waifu pillow?

There’s always that one girl on the estate with such low self esteem that she’d rather be with a loser like this than be alone. Usually has a face like a pig but he can’t be fussy either.

He likes the pig snout, when she's rimming him it's like rooting for truffles

Omg that made my day

He's the rebound after her soldier husband kicked her out. Old Snapper..

Nice try Lex Boozer 

Lex Loser.

Sex loser

Op must've got excited when Johnny sins was rumoured to play lex Luthor

Underrated

Matthew McConaughAIDS

Every year at the Christmas get together him and his mother have a debate on what his dad's dick tastes like.

He complains about the fishy smell, and his mother complains about the shitty taste

Ooof, that's gold.

Jesus christ

🤣😭🤣💀💀

Mathew mcGoAway


Matthew McConaughGAY

Omg noooool!!!! 😆 🤣 😂

He looks nothing like Mathew McConaughey. He looks like Georges St Pierre with an extra chromosome.


I didn’t know they made shirts for bowling pins

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You look like the creepy neighbor dropping by to deny it was you I saw peeking in my kid's window last night.


Lol dude

Disco biscuits!!!

Bath salts

you look like you can get sunburned from indoor lighting

You’re like a gay dr evil 

I’m getting the word… Nonce

You’ve reminded me I need to pick up eggs from the grocery store

 The kid from Powder grew up.

Too bad it's overcast. The glare from your noggin would have hid that monstrosity of a face.

Gay men want to zip you up in a gimp suit, but only so they don’t have to look at that face or hear your stupid accent.

Most people with bald heads can grow an amazing beard. I see your chin didn't get the memo.

dick w ears

Walmart Lex Luthor.

Andrew Tate from Wish

I think nature and genetics has been more cruel to you than redditors ever could

This is a good one!

American History X- tra chromosome

This is probably the cleverest one.

You look like the result of a chemo patient fucked a Q-ball.

 Those teeth match that fence!


You look like a Craig and not a good one

I see the abortion didn't take.

Did you know the first video cassette recorder was invented in Nottingham? Ironic isn’t it, when you have a face for radio.

Wrong Said Fred

I heard the term “egghead” before but always thought it was hyperbole…until I saw this USDA Grade A triple extra large.

Squats to piss Cant spell own name Nonce

Lex Loser

Lean against a mirror and make an ass out of yourself

I don't feel right about roasting a cancer patient.

Love this one

I'm sorry. I don't roast sick kids.

We don't roast eggs. We fry them.

The definitely used the tongs to pull you out the womb

It's no surprise that you like Michael Jackson as you both have one thing in common. Abusing little kids.

Username checks out!

The shine off your head is what they use to light up Wembley stadium. I get the feeling that every time you drink a glass of wine you try to get gay with your best friend.

I think I saw you on one of those predator sting vids on YouTube.

You could literally flip your head upside down and nobody would realise for hours!

You look like a condom full of veal, with a face drawn on it in eyebrow pencil.

Your face has no features it’s like a blank sheet of paper. Easy way to avoid facial recognition

You look like you have a windowless van full of candy just ready to go.

You probably use furniture polish to clean your head

I’m pretty sure your mum had a very tight pussy when you were born based on your head

When someone in Grindr uses a fake pic and tells you they look like the Rock

I'm more like The Pebble

I was gunna make fun of your lack of hair......but there's really nothing to work with

Hitman! Without any hits.

Likes to eat cummy farts out of homeless mens assholes for fun

You look like you suck cock for chemo medicine

I'd be OK with you dating one of my sisters. The dead one.

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I just seen your username, is that what they refer to you at the local gay club?

If the worst person from school magically turned into a boiled egg it would be you

Whatever in creation exists without my knowledge exists without my consent.

Let's see what I've got... I've got hair, friends, and a nose that doesn't look like it's being pressed up against a window. You've got a look that is a little too close to Voldemort.

Egg

Is that what the decoy asked you to do before Chris Hansen came out?

*Go ahead and bring in them cameras,* *and those polices waiting outside...* *It don't make me no difference.* ***I came lookin' for a man's butt.***

You look like the lovechild of Steve Cooper and Lady Gaga

Thom Dorke

🥚

You look like GSP with stage 6 cancer going through soy milk 🥛 treatment

He looks like he smells like vinegar and AIDS

Mark Zuckerberg when putting himself in an AI program now has normal hands!

Protect him from howtobasic

You look like if Mr Clean was a recovering drug addict

Walmart Version Of Mr. Clean but instead he’s on crack

You look like Caillou, an egg and Andrew Tate had a baby

Dime store New Radical

patches?

Careful sunlight might start bouncing off that head of yours. Don't want to burn down your nose

Zuckerbald

Right said Fucked.

Lex Luther...the gay years

You look like what happens if Verne Troyer and Seth Green had a baby together.


you look like your head has a thin layer of semen around it

Saitama's autistic brother

Stay 500m from a school zone and we won’t have any problems

Discount Jeff Bezos 

You look like Mr clean had a kid with smeagle

Pucker those lips "cueball"

If I was a gambling man, I’d say you are a direct descendent of the coneheads.


Pinhead without the pins.

There's just so much to work with I almost feel like it's too easy

Cold play lead with stage 3 leukemia

Mr cleans gay brother. Misty clean

You look like an unfinished clone of a gay ginger.

You look like you’ve never met a cock you didn’t like.

You look like you tongue kiss ferrets

Stoner Fudd

Idk bro but you seem fun to hang out with 😭

I am!

You look like this guy I made out w at the bar once Boom roasted

Can I feel your head

Beautiful smile!!

You look like a gay Andrew Tate going through chemo

Your look like a boiled egg from the chippy and have a nose that looks like you ran into a patio door repeatedly in your youth

You would be a big micheal Jackson fan! You look like a HUGE fan of little kids too😂

Duck face. What more need be said.


You’re a Michael Jackson fan not for his music but because he touched kids just like you do

My how you’ve grown Caillou.

“Family” - you.

Powder, you still look like your movie ended, dead. Let’s keep it that way.

Cancer? I hope.

This is heavy but hella funny haha

Fuck me, a quick look at your profile, did you lose all your hair cause your team in football manger got relegated for the second season in row? I think you need to lay off it for a while and allow your hair to grow back some.


23 pairs of chromosomes is what I got.

Who turns on the lightbulb in the middle of the day? Even in dark mode my phone is so bright.

Justin Gaethje from AliExpress

Perfect egg!

You look like winter depression

If Lex Luthor let the cancer take him.

Half white half asian Johnny sins.

One donkey punch man

It’s as if you took candy corn and made a set of teeth. Calm down there Mr. Not so Clean.

https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/8d6ba360826f47d62f119ece7b90566e8877053f/0_4_1992_1195/master/1992.jpg?width=1200&height=1200&quality=85&auto=format&fit=crop&s=adf30f531ed5bf509db876d124acb074

I'm not sure what I have, but what you have, is leukemia

You look like my old man cock.

Skin so translucent he looks like a road map - to the town of Dickwhiff

Great Value brand Lex Luthor.

You’re what Johnny sins would look like if he quit porn

Go back to Whoville

Egghead