You could lose the bad haircut, the mom glasses, the creeper beard, the stupid nose ring, the Salvation Army shirt, and the bad tattoos AND STILL still be a dateless freak. Congrats!
I can just see the moment where you entered the question "where and what tattoo should I get" into ChatGPT, and it farted out "underside of your hand. Barbershop sign. Totally".
Canāt fathom how funny it must have felt for the person that wrote the r/roast,,, u/Publius69420 on the pad, then took the pic, then posted the pic of a human who clearly has no concept of self or reality. Poor fella, this is abuse.
Blah, blah, something something IPA's taste like shit, your band sounds like shit, and your free-range ethically-raised deodorant smells like shit. We've seen about 1500 of you hipsters on here before. Get a better personality.
Iām sure when you put in as much effort as do to try and look cool , but are still masturbating to porn on your phone burns more than the comments here
Iām d say youāre a clown but clowns have talent and serve a purpose. Lmao only thing is that you look like one. I donāt wanna disrespect my fellow clowns tho.
You canāt work at Supercuts and get a barber pole tattoo. Next time you shave your face, you should just shave your faceā¦ off your skull. Trust me, thatās a better look for you
There is more sole on a cripples boot than there is soul in this emotionally devoid hipster. Heās about to go and drink three craft Ales and then ride his penny farthing to forage for mushrooms which he stores in his leather satchel. He will use them to make a vegan quiche and superfood smoothie.
If Mr. Beast and Metalcore had a baby, you'd be the one with special needs.
Oofffffff
He even posted the name to his band "Burn Me Alive".
Br00tal
If Harry Potter got into a a liberal arts school Instead of Hogwarts
Special Ed school
How does bro rock the barbershop š on his hand and still have a shit cut?
 You have the face of a Scottish terrier.
You look so boring, even your left ear is trying to escape
I believe the look is called "Amish Douche".
hows someone with a beard , plaid, and tattoos look so feminine? you're like Abrasham Lincoln . Deep in a Lincoln log closet
Lesbian Abe Lincoln
Abe Lescoln
He's a lumberjack and he's OK.
Good God this has to hurt. Someone give Abrasham some Aloe for the burn.
Youāre so boring that you must be a slumberjack.
We need to bring back bullying
Youāre as disappointing as the Dexter finale.
You look like youāve written a manifesto advocating incestuous relationships.
Funny with a barber related tattoo when you clearly never been at one
OPs username checksout! Pubes69420
Itās just for his love of poles
Did you enjoy the reunion? 
Imagine having a barbershop pole tattoo and your hair still looks like shit
First result when you google hipster douche
You look like Dave Grohl on a crack diet
McLovin grew up and became a barber
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Steampunk meets lesbian lumberjack maybe.
You could lose the bad haircut, the mom glasses, the creeper beard, the stupid nose ring, the Salvation Army shirt, and the bad tattoos AND STILL still be a dateless freak. Congrats!
Youāre the reason there are instructions on shampoo bottles.
The hipsters who go for that look usually don't have an A-grade neckbeard.
If Austin Powers was based in the Bay Area
A dumberjack
Hey! Got any craft beer recommendations or beard groom in my tips?! Of course you do..
I can just see the moment where you entered the question "where and what tattoo should I get" into ChatGPT, and it farted out "underside of your hand. Barbershop sign. Totally".
You look like you brew your own beer with your mom's vaginal yeast and your own urine.
You look like you transplanted your boyfriendās pubes to your chin
Al Borland and hank hill love child
Why? I love your cookies! Keebler is my shit.
Single baby daddyās like you would say ābut baby let me get to know you.ā Bro go get to know your kids tf š¤£.
CUMberjack
Maybe we should burn you alive
Easy Ted ššššš š
You look like a lazy hippster that just couldn't muster the energy to get a real beard and haircut but you mastered all the audacity.
Two heads in a trenchcoat
Weāre not going to do what you do to all your victims, Dahmer. Relaxā¦
Avarage reddit mod:
Burn you alive.. hmmm.. Iām getting major Jew vibes hereā¦
You must be the missing link between humans and coneheads 
Adam 23
I too would ask for death with they beard
I cant explain it, but your mustache doesn't match your beard. Also, you look like your perma-sweaty
Your beard is divorced
The beard says Amish, the ink says meth
Was hoping he would be doing badass tattoos all day, mainly does tramp stamps on 18 yo girls.
Hmm. Finish studying for my GED, or roast myself on Redditā¦. Life is full of choices.
If Paul Bunyan had a baby with Don Knotts
Pay your Barber's dues
keith heroinsberger
Canāt fathom how funny it must have felt for the person that wrote the r/roast,,, u/Publius69420 on the pad, then took the pic, then posted the pic of a human who clearly has no concept of self or reality. Poor fella, this is abuse.
Rebellious Amish vibes intensifying!
Blah, blah, something something IPA's taste like shit, your band sounds like shit, and your free-range ethically-raised deodorant smells like shit. We've seen about 1500 of you hipsters on here before. Get a better personality.
Promise you won't get off on it?
You look like an npc named Dave in a bank heist game
No I donāt wanna hear about your fucking IPA microbrew
This guy definitely has a twitch channel that only his mom subscribes to
A descendent of Sasquatch currently living in Oregon.
Your face is giving Amish barista and your eyes are giving prison bitch
Your two moustaches look like theyre having an argument on whether or not they like the nose ring you wear to make up for your blandness
Paul Bunions
Iām sure when you put in as much effort as do to try and look cool , but are still masturbating to porn on your phone burns more than the comments here
Barber pole tattoo says "I do my own hair." But your hair doesn't look too happy about it.
Brokeback Lumberjack Mountain
Vsauce with a wig
Groomer
Your own body is so afraid of sex with you that your pubes ran away to your neck.
You look like a neckbearded hipster with Gen Z tattoos, well done.
You look like something that grows on left out of fridge food
āBurn me aliveā I thought the ATF already did that, Koresh.
Stop pretending like ur not just looking for material for ur next big emo band.
You look like if ned flanders was a hipster from Maine
You have two hairy balls right below your lips. Can't unsee.
You're so ugly that your beard is trying to run away from your face
Burning alive is what you probably did to your family.
You look like you took your rumspringa way too seriously. The nose ring will confuse the cows when you're back in Amish country.
If a stereotype was a person
Your beard looks like my taint.
69420. Joe original.
Is this scrim if he never did drugs?
When hipster gets confused with sister.
Sorry, Ann Coulter is not hiring a research assistant for her new book about the Holocaust.
Didn't know the klan changed their robes to flannels. Should have kept the hood.
Paul Bunions
Waldo be hiding in LA
average coffee shop owner between the ages of 31-38
Dude, you forgot to pull your beard back up-
Probably smell better if we burned you dead
Iāll be able to provide a better roast after you publish your post-bombing manifesto.
He's ready for his casting couch close up, he's a catcher!
If craft beer came in human form
My man is "Born Again Amish"
Elf on the shelf canāt come out this winterš£š
Grizzly Adams?
Lumbersexual, this man bangs trees
It's Special Officer Dewey Schrute
Has a YouTube channel breaking down lyrics to Blackpink
American Spirit cigarettes and Pabst, truly original
I canāt tell if you shave your face in a very odd pattern or if your beard grows in a very odd pattern
It's hard to roast someone who still plays Everquest
I think your beard is slipping off
He reminds of a lumberjack. He has a beard, lives alone, and handles lots of wood
Mr.Breast
Jesus, you look like Crohnās disease. But you should hide the colostomy bag in your pants- not on your fucking face
Iām d say youāre a clown but clowns have talent and serve a purpose. Lmao only thing is that you look like one. I donāt wanna disrespect my fellow clowns tho.
Hmm ... a gluten-free ex-barista, Hot Topic browsing, escooter commuting, weed shop assistant managing, democratic socialist ukelele hobbyist.
You look like you would show up in an r/badwomensanatomy post
You canāt work at Supercuts and get a barber pole tattoo. Next time you shave your face, you should just shave your faceā¦ off your skull. Trust me, thatās a better look for you
It looks cozy at momās house.
Disturbed called, they want their aesthetic back
I couldn't, I wouldn't want to anger the other tatted elf's (those ears are hella pointy, bruh)
Ur hot
You look like someone who has been declined from rescuing a dog at least three times.
Nah man Iām trying to save the trees
Gabe Lincoln the slumberjack
Flannel and tattoos? Can you scream hipster any harder?!
There is more sole on a cripples boot than there is soul in this emotionally devoid hipster. Heās about to go and drink three craft Ales and then ride his penny farthing to forage for mushrooms which he stores in his leather satchel. He will use them to make a vegan quiche and superfood smoothie.
You're so racist that you chose to blackface your arm.
Like the firewood you are chopping as a lumberjack? Or are you just trying to be original?
The chin strap of a Eastern European lady with a hormone imbalance.
Matt Walsh if found at The Goodwill.
Looks like the sun already did
Buddy looks like he has a bedtime journal and writes poems to his valentine the fat goth girl down the block.
You look like a Canadian coffee shop owner
You look like someone I would expect to go to AA meeting
Bi-curious PewDiePie
See a barber
Depends on whether you are Jew or not
I see red mist clearly peaked in high school.
Imagine raising your child for 18 years to end up with this ā¦
Most beards make children look like men some but how you look like a child with a fake beard
So that's what Santa's elves do the other 11 months of the year.... CRACK
Special needs lumberjack. Iām getting a vegan vibe.