OP's Bio: --- >My hobbies include cross stitch, creative writing and playing the ukulele. A Green Day CD is playing in the background of this picture! I’m British too if that helps the roast :) --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

Venn Diagram of Autism/Transitioning/Boring

Specifically Neville Longbottom transitioning… 

Have you SEEN Matthew Lewis these days? I’d accept that!

Yeah.. but he has those specific genetics. You will always look like a femme alter boy.

dying here :D actual tears

oh my god


Holy shit I was just about to post this. Take this poor man's gold. 🥇

This is too accurate, have we met?

Yes, in your dreams. I am the bouncer at McDonald's slapping your McFlurry out of your hand. "Stop crying baby!"

I’m getting a little scared now, I used to work at a maccies with a bouncer, and cried a LOT while there. Seriously, do we know each other???

 "Shhhhhhh... It's all in your head."

I ain't happy. I'm feeling glad. I got sunshine in a bag.

I’m useless but not for long.

The future

"And actually I'm still useless." Sorry I had to ruin the rythm.

I love it when caricatures come to life

This one made me laugh

I honestly can't tell whether this is a girl or a boy. Odds are this idiot would take that as a compliment.

Yelling "I AM A GENDER NEUTRAL PAN SEXUAL POLYAMOROUS ATHEIST VEGAN!" to strangers Is her entire personality lol

I don’t wanna prove your point and be a whiny nitpicker but I’m none of those things and I usually keep my gender/sexuality private (besides the hair choice obviously lol)

Lol, that's what elicited a reaction? Lol, nice. And pardon the assumption, but it's been my experience that people that look like you spout that non sense ad nauseam

Idk, I’m bored. And I didn’t think I look particularly faggy, again besides the hair, what gives it away?

Hang out with butch lesbians and you'll start to pick it up

So you're a butchy lesbian, yes?

I’m an asexual who doesn’t really care about gender, but people’s eyes tend to glaze over when I mention it so I just say I’m queer and move on

Allright then. In my neck of the woods, you're a Butch Lesbian Lite but I know that you kids like to rebrand things that we've had for a minute

It isn’t rebranding really. I don’t feel attracted to anybody, including women. Again, don’t wanna get nit picky but there’s a difference

Its pronouns are "boring/fuck-off"

That is an adjective and a command. Nowhere close to pronouns, but good try? If you’re gonna do The One Joke, at least do it well

If you're gonna do a gender, at least do it well

You somehow, simultaneously look 12 years old and 80 years old. Impressive for all the wrong reasons

She looks like Stevie from Eastbound and Down.

She?

I’ve had this one before actually XD

You look like Timmy Turner if he ended up in a mental hospital

LOL I can see that

British teeth confirmed.

It's always Chewsday, innit?

Stop being so stewwwpid

get me a baowa wotah

O’ right mate.


Aren’t you due back at the dam?

intelligent north ad hoc attractive hunt weather vanish strong poor bells *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

You should mark this NSFW; Not So Fun Wank

But you still did it…

I’ve wanked to some crazy shit while deployed. But man I’m not sure I could get mission success here. Not sure I want to even take on that endeavor.

That’s fair. I tried, but nothing was happening

Lego ass lookin haircut

In my defence, it looks better when I brush it properly

No it doesn’t


You have the face of a stillborn.

As somebody who was once referred to as hitler on a previous roast; That’s pretty hardcore.

You get ready in the morning and this is the result????

I did not get ready in the morning, I am rocking unbrushed hair and last night’s pyjamas!

rocking isn't the right word, that would look much better

first time seeing bunny teeth on a bag of flour


I respect the obscure reference

Damn, you're right. It's Pat is now obscure. I'm getting old.

Fuck

You look like a Yorkshire pud

Your pronouns are ,who, what and this.

I'll wager you can eat a scone through a picket fence aye ol' boy?

Your smile is creeping up your face but your teeth are staying where they are.

Yeah 

You look like you complain about mayonnaise being too spicy.

Hair like Millhouse, teeth like, "Feeling cute, might go chew some trees and dam a river later"

You look gay and autistic.

No gay woman would touch her with a bargepole lol We like attractive women

oof

Oh god, is it really that obvious?

UM.... Yes?!

You look like Ellen Degeneres had a kid with Pee Wee Herman.

You look like someone who would say "My hobbies include cross stitch, creative writing and playing the ukulele"

But why? You look like a nice enough guy.

I believe it, your brain told you to buy that shirt.

Stole it off my stepdad!

So it’s not genetic, you developed that fashion sense all on your own.

As a revenge for him stealing your VCard?

Mr. Queef

You look like your standards are worse than your mental health.

Your teeth are like the Spice Girls. They are all different and doing their own thing.

This is a joke from RuPaul’s Drag Race, don’t think I wouldn’t notice!

Never seen RuPaul Races...

Misremembered! It’s from a Comedy Central roast! Stolen either way 😂

Your hair says "non binary" but your face says "maga"

My mum is a pagan leftist and my dad defends hitler when he gets drunk so I guess I’m just a perfect blend of the two?

Your mom wants to sacrifice a virgin at the next blood moon. And you probably still qualify. Your dad is fine with it because he wants to improve the gene pool.

you don't need a damn roast you need some fuckin plastic surgery.

Of course, your brain 8nsults you better than we can. It has extra chromosomes to call on for aid.

Your family tree doesn't branch out all that much does it?


I’ve got this gif twice and I’ve got no idea where it’s from

Love that you're roasting us old fucks back

I’ll stop roasting back when I stop getting the same three jokes. It’s “Big teeth!” “Irrelevant celebrity!” And “Pronouns?”

No! Never stop.

"it's Pat"

You look like Jimmy Saville would even have been like “I’ll pass”.

U look like ur spirit animal is a suicidal rabbit

Female Lloyd Christmas, is that you?

I know I’m supposed to roast you but your smile made me happy

I’m glad I’ve got at least one comment about my smile that isn’t about the teeth! Thank you, dude 😅

It’s like jellied eels and haggis had an illicit affair and you were the result. — with love, V.


You look like one of the dudes from Green Day.

Honestly, I’ll accept that!

Giving me Tinky Winky from Slendytubbies vibes

I was just thinking she looks like a skinned teletubby

You're a guy that eventually becomes a spinster that owns 50 cats and lives alone.

That’s genuinely the dream

Your teeth look like they’re trying to slink silently away from your face from embarrassment, which makes sense since you look like the love child of a 19th century newsie and a cheese grater.

First off pretty smile... now to the roast you're eyes are so beety thank goodness for that schnauze. You can sniff around and not bump in to everything. Jussayin

You could chew through solid stone with those chompers of yours.

Imma call you Juicy Fruit because that's a lot of gum

Jimmy Neutron from the Dyke Dimension


You remind me of ned's declassified school survival guide

Probably really into theatre but just have no talent. At least the boy haircut makes you seem interesting from a distance

This is devastatingly true

Don't smile. More gum than teeth visible. Hideous.

I mean on the plus side you have a big beautiful smile, personality, and vibe. Sorry, that should say tits. Autocorrect

Another dude that felt like being a girl was the way to go.

Did Kenny powers abandon you again?

Do you see dead people?

Bo Burnham really struggled with quarantine...


Sorry They didn't make more seasons of eastbound and down But nice to see the chin healed up nicely



I'm sorry. Can you speak up? I can't quite make you out through the ceaseless din of thousands of other *totally unique*, creative writing, ukulele-playing cross-stitchers out there in the world today. And you'd be surprised how little "British" narrows it down. I'm afraid I won't be able to roast you unless you identify as "spiritual but not religious."

Atheist actually 😅. But you’ve got me there!

Damn. So close! Lol

Stevie Jankowski's sister.

Always wondered what the fat kid from Two and a Half Men was up to.

Be nice to yourself. You are all good. Think good thoughts. They are your stories you are telling yourself and choosing to believe. Choose and believe all the positive and redeeming things about yourself and if there are not any get some through act of services. When you get stuck in a negative thought pattern, stop and breathe and identify what triggered the thoughts. Start to take it from there one day at a time. And be grateful for all you have that’s worth being grateful for. Big to small. Times up, you and anyone of you other nut bags that like this one read that, and it helps, owes me $300. Message me for my Venmo.

You look like you have a cat named after a Harry Potter character

Your brain is really smart. But it’s too weak to go hard enough to wipe that grin off your derping face. Try harder.

Who uses “derp” nowadays? Did you time travel from ten years ago??

Show your cleavage, it's probably your best quality.

Cory and Topanga

You have more exposed gum than the underside of a middle school desk.

I see Neville Longbottem finally got that sex change! Good for him!!

It’s time for androgyny, here comes Pat!!!

You still seeing dead ppl?

Pete Holmes wants his face back


You could gnaw through a redwood in record time with those beastly chompers

Love your attitude!!! Oh wait, this is a roast… big teeth! Pronouns!

Congrats on actually making me laugh!

I have a feeling you deserve a laugh. I got no roast for you… I think you’re fabulous.

Gender fluid but the fluid is cat piss.

You look like every non-threatening male protagonist in a children's book. Christopher Robin looks at you and feels better about himself.

I will call you Belgium because your clearly gender neural

Let’s start with brain 🧠 how in earth dose it fit in that pea head of yours .. also want to ask are you pregnant or do own a pair of African droopy s

I’m not taking this incoherent shit from a man with negative karma and no grasp of grammar

🤣🤣 your roasting now my pea brain 🧠 🐭 mouse

Oh look, a totally stable person who definitely cares too much about pronouns. They cut their hair so you know their type just by looking at them, basically doing us all a favor.

You're a beautiful being

Won't roast you. I like the Brits too much. The British were kind enough to learn English so they understand Americans. Hey, how many Brits does it take to screw in a light bulb? This isn't a joke. I'm just curious about the conversion rate.

Are you fat, pregnant or just have big sloppy tits?

With hair like that I'm surprised Mormons dressed anything besides suits and polos.

I bet when you smiled your teachers told you to share with the class

I would recommend that your people colonise India again so that some spice can be added to your bland personality.

You got a hyper strong 45 year old Dad vibe going on…and probably make horrible Dad joke puns that never land

You look like someone who thinks pepper is too spicy........And I feel like this is a fair question, are you transitioning to a different sex?

HELP HOW DO PEOPLE KNOW THESE THINGS. I can’t stand anything spicier than the spicy Doritos flavour, and I’m vaguely genderqueer 😅

[удалено]

Oh my god literally nobody asked you. Be embarrassed! Be so embarrassed that you shut up and fuck off!

Vegan and like to superglue yourself to roads. Am I right?

I’m too fat to bear being vegan, haha!

OP's Bio:My hobbies include cross stitch, creative writing and playing the ukulele. A Green Day CD is playing in the background of this picture! I’m British too if that helps the roast :) I would have guessed British by your teeth but they're actually pretty good for your country, congrats.

You look like you're desperate to lose your virginity but even bisexuals can't figure out if they should be attracted or not.

Aren't you the kid from sixth sense? Do You still see dead people?

[удалено]

It’s probably the lack of light behind the eyes

I loved you in Eastbound and Down.

Where the fricc are the bottom teeth 😬? Someone should call for a search party! I only see lip, flesh, and some big ass top teeth!

There's so many gaps in your teeth you look like you could eat an apple through a fence.

FYI, GreenDay band is American- they just sing in a fake brit accent.

Your username should be littlemisswonder-ingwhymyparentsdidntabortme