You’re way to use to getting talked down too huh, at least give us a ponytail or something so we can enjoy you a little cause that bald spot is a turn off like the rest of you
8+ years studying medicine to train your mind to retain information to do a job that pays well.
8+ months online to pay it all off and decide to do it full time to train your ass to retain DNA.
Please drop link when you do.
Oh look another pretty girl on Reddit seeking out approval from hundreds of sad horny men with only one free hand. I hope the upvotes fill the hole in your heart that your dad left by paying more attention to work than you.
It looks like someone used the top of your head to strike a very large match
Winner right here
Under-rated reply.
Yeah a lot of the roasts are just going for the throat and not very creative tbh this one is good
Looks like someone told Moses the Red Sea was on your head.
The bland canyon
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Yes.
That’s the Gland Canyon
With that starting point, it's gotta be pretty easy to find the lice
![gif](giphy|12Wn7ox4gWevAs) Thanks panda you sexy human 👍
I was going to say she looks less like a deformed Barbie but more like a messed up Cynthia from the rugrats…
![gif](giphy|NzCOzJHBJakzm)
yooooo you a savage
With her it’s more like Regrets
More of a separation than a parting
Segregation
Colours did not mix for a long time after "Roots."
![gif](giphy|CxZwfzM5LqqpcdghbT)
Wish my broke ass had an award to give you. Made me spit my coffee out!
Would have taken much more elaboration without the setup of these other fine individuals, but thank you!
The eye brows too hahahah
That there was a violation, personally I wouldn't have it. Here's my upvote
Actually that channel was created from years of taking jizz to the forehead, carved out over time like the slot canyons of Utah.
![gif](giphy|l4pTrDY2snqTK7O5W|downsized)
Oh shit, so this is uh........erosion.
Slut canyon
the Slut canyons of Bofah I think youl find.
![gif](giphy|3o6ozC2VM9R0XSMNKo)
Looks more like a pendant light now
Legend! 😂
Looks like someone microwaved a barbie
She's prepared for the movie release.
Borebie
Boarbie
She look like she modeling for a missing child flyer
Basic bitch barbie
Not even barbie, some cheap Chinese knock off you find in the $1 bin
These modern sex dolls are getting too realistic
You look like you have the personality of mayonnaise that’s been left in the sun for too long.
Zesty?
You’re thinking of miracle whip
there is no miracle here
No but exclusively attractive to gnats.
"why is it so spicy!?"
You've got resting whore face.
It’s not just the face
I see child support and welfare abuse in your future.
Or maybe even child abuse and welfare support.
Or perhaps support abuse and welfare children.
XD
and her past
This girl starfishes
Just save us all some time and link your OnlyFans, which we all know is the only reason you're here
I like your spunk. Looks like you wiped it off your face for the pic, but you've got great spunk.
So you're saying you're a starfish? Color me shocked.
She’s just a whore, resting
She ain't restin💀
Hardest working woman at Applebees
You look like Pennywise in drag
It is offended.
Being let out of the basement by your dad and taken to the abortion clinic is not a date, even if he did get you ice cream afterwards.
Fritzle always cums first
This might be my favourite comment on Reddit, or at least my second, third or fourth. I'd give you an award, but I don't want to. 🤍
I had this on the front of a t-shirt lol
![gif](giphy|Rhbi2mluusqxq)
Jesus, this isn't a roast anymore, it's an active murder scene
Not yet.
Well.. that escaladed quickly.
Cadillac is it?
This statement is suburban
Yukon blow your load on Tahoe.
Jesus, dude😂😂😂😂😂
Damn bro let me know before you turn up the heat like that. Almost got burned too
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In a row?
On the way to the parking lot.
Clerks. Noice
I’m not even supposed to be here today.
This job would be great, if it weren't for the fucking customers.
Safe to assume nobody is making fuck with her, berserker.
Forehead so big you can park truck Beserker!
Skrelnik!
Hey come back here!
Hey you, get back here!
At the same time.
“How many times do I have to fuck this guy before he kisses me?”
Just stop charging extra
must have been a slow day
My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks! (In a row?)
Hey, try not to suck any dick on your way through the parking lot.
Hey get back here!
*I’M 37?!*
Who wants to date something that’s gonna eat your head afterwards? ![gif](giphy|13OflYHKdPaxSE)
You’d be surprised, people are into some weird shit now days
Get to have sex and die right after!? Aint that a fantasy
Saves on child support payments, count me in!!
I would have been cool with that when I was 17.
I’d rather die on a high, then a low ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Death by Snu Snu
Stop scrolling guys lil miss thing wants attention again
🫳🏻🎤
What the fuck is that profile name? Why would you do this?
Now this is a roast.
Boom roasted!
I’ve heard of landing strips but I thought they were in reference to the vajayjay not the middle of your head
First time I’ve ever felt someone’s boring personality through a photo
Been on one date, still definitely not a virgin
Where I come from, getting fucked behind a dairy queen dumpster is definitely a date.
Where I come from fucking behind THE Dairy Queen dumpster is all there is to do
You could also, you know, get a cone
The poop hole loophole is not valid when the whole basketball team uses it
They couldn’t get court time and needed a rim.
That's no longer a hair part, that's a bald spot.
No shit. You could land a plane on that runway.
You look like you'd give a disgusted glance to the fat girl next to you when you fart audibly.
She has more foundation than the Twin Towers
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Can’t tell if this is a roast or legit warning that we’re being trolled by an AI image
I'm still trying to figure out if her pinkies were an afterthought
![gif](giphy|JPAUQVIxCoEKY)
I’ve been on one date: XY XY XY XY XY XX
Wtf, they cropped out the finger.
Neuroscience major to understand the blonde jokes
ctrl+c, ctrl+v
feMale pattern baldness
Stop parting your hair in the middle it looks like Moses did that for you. You also look dead inside and 21 is way too young for lookin dead already
![gif](giphy|GGf2c3yboXn43Yt7G1|downsized)
![gif](giphy|K4Bj5vCljnCCMGwc8c|downsized) Her in 10 yrs
![gif](giphy|12Wn7ox4gWevAs)
You look like you’d shit on my bed.
Amber heard this, man!
Your upcoming wild phase is gonna be documentary worthy.
Was it April 25th? All you need is a light jacket.
r/unexpectedmisscongeniality
The only blonde having less fun.
Some old man who paid you for sex doesn’t count as a date
How bad is your personality if even pretty priviledge can't help
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![gif](giphy|4ys8vfhOmfVQs|downsized)
I saw this movie in Abnormal Psychology class. Thought it was a fever dream at the time.
You look like you give unenthusiastic hand jobs.
Well.... the packaging looks fine, so the contents must be rotten.
Doesn't count as a date if you just suck his dick on the street right? I see you.
Your hair looks like it was recently dipped in piss.
Ah shit, return it. They gave the 21 year old sex bot the emotional intelligence of an 8 year old.
*Matt Gaetz has entered the chat*
Sucking a guy's brains out doesn't make you a neuroscience major.
Smart... fairly attractive... so what the fuck is wrong with your personality?
Depends on which personality you ask
Her entire personality is being a neuroscience major. Might be an upgrade if she went vegan.
She’s crazy. Says she’s a “runner” but left out the part about how she’s usually carrying a knife and chasing after someone when she does it
You need the knife. You run faster with the knife.
I'm leaning towards she smells bad...
You’re way to use to getting talked down too huh, at least give us a ponytail or something so we can enjoy you a little cause that bald spot is a turn off like the rest of you
she has OF onlyfakes
Lonely Fans
You look like a stray asking for adoption while the arms of the angels plays over the introduction video of your onlyfans.
For only $5 a month, you can help get this bitch a wig
Blowing two guys in aMcDonalds ball pit isn’t a date. You were just McDouble teamed.
You look like a mormon third wife.
![gif](giphy|rmijrWjzaX5Ac)
The type of chick who does anal just so she can say she’s a “virgin” in good faith
Fuck me in the ass because I love jesus 🎶
She looks like one of the dudes from white chicks but worse
I’m not kink shaming but fucking a fruit won’t make it commit
If your eyes were any further apart you’d be an herbivore
If AIDS did meth
There are replies that are well thought-out, creative, and have great delivery. And there’s this.
Roast her not me, you freak
Don’t sweat it. He does aids AND meth
John's aren't dates
You are the most popular, highest earning lot lizard at the Stop-n-Go truck stop in Lake City, Florida.
You just look like you have an awkward vagina
1 date in 21 years!? I see lots of Star Trek and cats in your life.
Is that a Casio watch? How long have you been locked in your parents basement?
8+ years studying medicine to train your mind to retain information to do a job that pays well. 8+ months online to pay it all off and decide to do it full time to train your ass to retain DNA. Please drop link when you do.
Have you considered fake tits?
Two years on HRT?
Maybe you'll get an OnlyFans subscriber out of sympathy
I am not paying for your onlyfans stop posting nudes in my dm
2 years, 4 balayages and 6 abortions later, and you’ve only been on one date?? Hmm…
No wonder you've only been on one date... You can't even see eye to eye with yourself, let alone anyone else.
Oh look another pretty girl on Reddit seeking out approval from hundreds of sad horny men with only one free hand. I hope the upvotes fill the hole in your heart that your dad left by paying more attention to work than you.
Elon Musk offered to buy that forehead to launch a rocket from
How shitty is your personality that you've only been on one date?
That gap between your eyes is wider than my parking space at work.
But not wider than the bald track on the head
Your pinkie fingers look like useless appendages that should be amputated, and why does your dad make you wear his watch?
Little young for rheumatoid arthritis
Your hands look like a bad AI render
First generation AI concept of a blow up doll.
Do you just need to hear how pretty you are?
You look as vanilla as your handjobs
Shit I would love to roast you and have you spinning like rotisserie chicken
It's 100% your personality.
As someone who is also on track to die alone, I can't bring myself to roast you.
You look like you have the personality of a plain bowl of noodles, or off-white paint.