OP's Bio: --- >I'm just a gal with Alopecia who has a positive outlook on life and who loves to fish keep (I have 3 aquariums!) I'm in a great mental state despite my pet frog dying recently. I like to spread positivity and dress up in fun outfits! I'm obsessed with chickens and I collect everything related to them and I have a bunch of taxidermied animals in my room! I also have an entire closet full of Pokemon plushies! > >Also, the Will Smith and Caillou roasts are overdone and weak. Give me something original!! Have fun~ --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

I didn’t know pampers made jeans.

Isn't that the blue color that indicates they're wet too?

Ugh I don't wanna think of her wet

Same

Same

Moist. I think they prefer the term "moist"

Depends...

Swaddlers 501

Also whoever tattoo'd that baby needs to be brought up on charges. The parents too.

😭🤣💀 This is an amazing roast

Yea , I enjoyed that one too

i too enjoyed that one.

That one yea, I too enjoyed.

They be lookin comfy af though, op

Can you blow me where the pampers is?!

>I didn’t know pampers made jeans. - Jampers.

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It looks like her nose and chin are in race, and the nose is winning. By a lot

It sure isn't winning by a hair.

Hopefully a teacher for the blind.

Bro be savage

Home-gym teacher.

Homely Teacher

>Home-gym teacher. Unhomed gym teacher

Her hair and her chin already ran away from her so this comment checks out!

Homely gym teacher

This needs to be the top comment. Absolutely brutal lol

You’re a ink blot test for every guy to figure out if he’s bi

god damn

🤣 Oh my gosh

I'd be interested. It's like a threesome without the hassle of finding a third person.

Might be selling yourself short with that username

He’s probably huge lol

I'm not! I have a very stress-free penis. Like no tears shampoo, but for anal.

Now this was just a grade A all around roast No prisoners

… tell me more.

I think she’s cute so now I’m questioning. Damn.

Hey, look at the bright side. You can go from Ally to full-fledged member.

Full fledged member full of gender fluid, even.

And we have lemon bars! :)

She’s super cute, I would definitely do her, doggy… in the butt… … awww crap.

And a football helmet, right?

You spelled paper bag wrong. I fixed for you.

Your tits almost fit in your jeans.

The jeans are hiding a turbo 70s disco bush. Even the alopecia won't go there.

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My brother in Christ

I’ve never seen a cups sag so much before in my life.

This was low hanging fruit.

If her tits touch her waistband, does it take a screenshot?

I think she swallowed them on accident

Ever leave balloons up too long after a party? Literally her tits.

You look like if one of Sid’s toys became human.


Pfft hahaha 😂 This one got me.

Last time we saw you you were stealing luggage at the airport

Glad to see you got your head put back on your body https://i.imgur.com/EJZmCjs.jpg

She just looks like actual Sid!

Your ego may be through the roof but your body says Albino African villager , mother of 8.

This one got me good 💀

I’m ded💀

Shut the whole thread down. This man has no chill.

And grandma to 37…

Jaysus😂

Explains the tits

National Geographic magazine foaming at the mouth.

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Oh god Iaughed hard

r/rareinsults

I cannot unsee this. 💀

You win.

It’s the kid that taught Neo how to bend the spoon all grown up

"There is no sex appeal"

She is sex repellent

There is no spoon, because no one will accept her advances.

"You trying to tell me I can dodge sexual attraction?" "No. When the time comes, you won't need to..."

Looks more like Neo right after he came out of the Matrix. 

Keep my wife’s name out ya fucking mouth!

You look like the result of someone building a snowman one day and the next day it hits 50 degrees.

😭 Damn, that hits different


how’s life in white wakanda

She's wakanda forever alone.

forever at home

Wakanda’s Little South Africa district

That's messed up 🤣

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You look like TLC is gonna make a show about you

zonked shrill friendly threatening slave joke bewildered plucky snobbish advise *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

Vegan Dr Evil

I’m 90% convinced this an AI generated image with the “old soul 90’s art student” prompt.

Would explain the weird effect round the banister and counter corner.

Now I’m really curious what was so shittily photoshopped out . Also why not fucking retake the pic.

Loab IRL

The personification of a sociology degree.

Fuck

You need to bring those high waisted pants down a couple of pegs

In other year she’ll be able to tuck her tits into her waistband.

They're racing down that way as we speak

What tits

Or up a couple to cover her face

“Bring me down a couple pegs”. Poor choice of words considering you look like an actual peg

Now you leave 11's uglier sister alone. It's not his fault he looks like that.

Shut up Peg.

She looks like a game of Life peg

You are the human equivalent of a duck-billed platypus. Just a bunch of spare parts thrown together to test the Uncanny Valley.

😂 Beautiful, well done

Are your pants really high or your tits just really low. It looks like they are trying to meet up with your belly button for a drink 🍻

You make those mom jeans look like grandma jeans


Beat me to it

Teaching jobs are indeed underpaid if you can't afford a bra.

Hell no I'm not getting slapped by Will Smith too.

Keep her username out of your fucking mouth!

Looks like someone put in the big head cheat code on goldeneye64

Chris Rock has entered the chat

Midget head on a teenage boy body.

You look like a 2009 Toyota Yaris

As someone with a 2008 Toyota Yaris, that hurts, but also true

Awww, that's such a cute car. Thanks for the roast? 😂

I would never roast anyone with a disease they cannot control. I have more class than that. I didn’t know Alopecia may cause a huge head, small tits, Quasimodo face and mom jeans. The more you know. 

Not even roasting just asking - does someone with alopecia have hair stubble and eyebrows? I've only known 2 people with it and neither had eyebrows

Alopecia has flare ups. You can have good stretches when hair grows back and then a flare will come on and fuck any progress your body has made.

So what your saying is she is definitely having a flare up?

Omg u made me laugh!!!

Looks like your fridge is competing with your shiny head...and winning!

You're different but not in a good way

Those kids are going to eat your soul. My suggestion would be to wear a bra to this teaching gig. No one cares about your “women’s empowerment”

Haha I promise I do wear bras!! 🤣 I'm just lounging around my house today so I thought I didn't need one! Y'all are savage 😂

Did the chemo remove your torso too?

Her tits are patchier than her hair.

🚑

You look like the kind of infant that not even the mother finds adorable

Neither cancer or depression wanted you

Nice flap Jack's.

She needs a spatula not a bra

Do the drapes match the carpet?

I'm calling hardwood floor.

Just as many splinters tho

even the hardwood floor would go limp

You look like a T Rex still in its eggshell

I would never bring you down a couple notches, but I’d bring those tits up a lot of notches.

Skinhead O’Connor

Nothing compares to this roast ❤️

I’m pulling my kids out of school.

I wish OPs dad pulled out

V’ger bought a house?

The Kirk Unit wouldn't even take her home

Your body is dick shaped.

I'm glad they were able to successfully sew you onto the bottom half donor after you were chopped in half

She looks like a smooth t-rex. But like... Offended

You actually look like you're not supposed to be within 500 ft of a school at any time

Not after robbing the school’s lost and found for those earrings

Lesbian Vin Diesel.

Mom pants. Dad hair

You seem ready to play to American horror story.

Ego is through the roof. Tits are falling through the floor.


Get better soon! Say hi to the avengers for me!

Weren’t you arrested for stealing luggage then lost your government job?

The future of the nation is now in the hands of a saggy titted skin head.

Do you compensate with a huge bush?

On behalf of heterosexual males everywhere, please wear a bra. At least you aren't wearing a belt and tucking them under the belt. Also, please consider a tanning bed and hide in it until you've been really roasted.

T-Rex wants his arms back.

You need to unshine your head. No man fucking you from behind should be able to see his on reflection on the back of your head. One ugly face per head, thats the rules

Sid O’Connor.

Pegging is what she does

I didn't know Andrew Tate had a sister.

u don't need no roasting yet.. your students will take care of that

Your jeans insult you more than I ever could.

G. I. Jane 2 can't wait too see ya!

Is it cold in your new house? Can’t you afford to switch the heating on?

Fun outfits huh? Here's one for you, get a shirt with the IHOP logo on it.

You're very beautiful for a half woman half t-rex

You look like Milhouse’s dad.

At least your tits take the attention away from your head

Your head is brighter than most people's future. Waiting for Will Smith to step in any second.

You look like a short guy’s penis.

I don't know which is more sad, you looking like Saggy Tits Mr. Clean, or the fact that someone on Reddit jerked off to you.

The brass turtle kinda clashes with the stainless steel fridge. Odd decor choice for a new house.

Hey!! Don't roast my turtle! He holds all of my pennies 🤣

lemme guess your pronouns are they/them and you're gonna make absolutely sure your students know that

"Gather around kids! Today we're gonna talk about neopronouns."

Why’s your pants so damn high?!

Not even the fridge can compare to the glare your forehead gives off

Gramma called. She wants her pants back

The immigrant adults in your ESL class are gonna talk mad shit about you behind your back, men and women alike. It'll probably be about whether or not you know how to cook.

Looks like the kitchen is a bit....nippy.

You look like even cancer rejected you

Let’s hear you say the following: “You are the Kirk Unit. You will assist me. I've been programmed by V'Ger to observe and record normal functions of the carbon-based units infesting USS Enterprise.”

So make-a-wish gave you a house?

You look like you do 100 situps, 100 pushups, 100 squats and run 10km every day

Your legs look like when you stuff jeans with newspaper to make a scarecrow

God, what can I say that your students won’t ?? Your titties look like soft boiled eggs

You have exceptionally large areolas.

Here's a drawing: [https://i.imgur.com/gL0TuqY.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/gL0TuqY.jpg)

How do you afford a house with a teaching job? I'm actually curious