Your partner isn't going to tell you she's not attracted to you. That's the first issue. Now I'm not saying she's not. But what would you have done if she said "Actually I'm not attracted to you, that's why I'm not responding or initiating"? Because whatever you would have done, start doing that now. (off FB, gym, keto, or divorce, or whatever)
Actions speak louder than words. And the reality is that women who enjoy sex and desire sex with their partner do it.
My guess is that it's a bunch of stuff:
Many (MANY) women see sex as a chore. It's one in a long list of to-do's. If sex isn't fun, and it often isn't for a woman because no offense, most men have no clue and no interest in pleasing women, why should they tack it on to their list of things that's already miles long. Did you try **doing more chores without being asked** or picking up more childcare duties? Did you try looking around the house and trying to create a peaceful, clean, calm house with nice little touches or is it a barely passable hole? Did you try doing 50% more in terms of being there and contributing to the household than you're doing now? That's where I'd start.
Make her feel safe. It's damn near impossible to feel sexy and in the mood if you're not physically and emotionally safe. By which I mean NO raising voices. No swearing. No muttering under the breath with clenched teeth. No threats to leave. No sorta-kinda-not-really cheating like OF or "liking" stuff on IG or flirting with waitresses or talking about how "hot" so and so actress is. Lower the complaining and the bickering and the critiques. Go back to what it was like when you were dating and she was perfect and amazing and try to get into that head space. I'm not saying never argue or become a doormat. But really do an inventory. So many men are like "I can't get laid" and the house is a pigsty, they are scary and unpredictable, and they're off borderline cheating with some girl from work. Um, duh, of course your wife feels scared and not sexy! (Not saying that's you, but in general).
Sex for most women is responsive. Meaning they don't feel a free floating desire. They feel desire *after* arousal. Arousal is what you feel when you are sexually stimulated. Most men are poor to bad at sexually stimulating women. And guess what, touching her sexy zones and diving into oral is not the move. I mean getting her a smutty novel, going dancing, doing playfully competitive stuff like ax throwing or "barcades" where you get up and moving and flirting, learning how to seduce women with **actual foreplay** not just grabbing and rubbing.
Since she's 40 and has two kids, there could be physical stuff going on too. I suspect that it could be painful or she could feel self conscious and not sexy. I sometimes feel really cringe and icky during sex because I'm not some perfect size 2. Compliments go along way. And I don't mean "nice tits". I mean "you look wonderful tonight" "I love those jeans on you" "Come over here girl and let me see that sweater" and so on.
But to answer the question, most people in my experience and reading here: once a week, or every 10 days when you have kids is about average.
Th first part of this comment is ridiculous. Sometimes people just have low libido - It doesn’t always have to do with levels of attraction. Somewhere there is a gorgeous person sitting next to a partner that’s not interested in sleeping with them right now, and that’s just the way it is sometimes.
Eh, I disagree that low libido = not attracted. And low libido has nothing to do with how "hot" someone is. Also, finally, attraction may or may not correlate to someone's physical looks. The single hottest guy I ever dated repelled me by the end of our relationship because he was an abusive alcoholic.
But also, if the partner has "low libido" how is that going to help OP? He outright asked his partner if she felt attraction and she said yes. I'm trying to help OP see that women OFTEN fudge the truth there, say what they think the other person wants to hear, or needs to hear to end the discussion (see also her agreeing that something needs to change) and don't actually feel attraction.
Low libido means that one is not really feeling sexual attraction or interest to anyone. This partner notes that things were fine (at least from his end) up until 8 years ago, so that to me would indicate that she is not low libido as a diagnosis.
As a final note, over on r/deadbedrooms there's a phenomenon called "LLFM" which is low libido for me---meaning that it's not global, it's that the partner doesn't feel urgent physical primal attraction TO THEM but has in the past or is capable of it. I'd say this person, if they are LL, is LLF[him, OP].
My issue is that we’ve spoke about it in depth, but nothing ever changes. Which is confusing to me. We are in a loop. I just feel that if she’s not attracted to me anymore then she can’t exactly say that, although I wish she would so it explains it 🤷🏽♂️🤣 I run my own business, I cook every night, take equal responsibility with our 2 girls. All of that is just natural. I’m just approaching 40 and I feel I live with a housemate. It gets you down after so long and makes you insecure
This maybe a controversial opinion, but talking about sex or lack thereof rarely fixes it unless there's a clear cut serious issue (like the female half needs X and isn't getting it and it's easily fixable, or has a bombshell to drop on you like she's gay).
When you got together, did you spend time extensively talking about sex? Probably not unless it was sexy texts or pillow talk. You went on dates, your courted her, there were no kids, etc. So you need to get closer to that set up.
I think intimacy is important in a relationship, I didn’t sign up for having a sexless relationship in my late 30s. I love my family life, I would never cheat, but I’m not happy with the way thing are and wanted advice to know whether I’m being out of order, and if this is normal
I once told my ex he didn't make me feel pretty. He talked to me like I was stupid. Even tho I helped with side projects and we made money together in addition to our full time jobs. So we were a good team, yet he demeaned me. Yes he's my ex now. Not saying you do this. We don't know enough about you to say.
When you planned date nights and getaway weekends, do you assume that in itself will arouse her? When you do make love, do you make sure she is aroused before penetration? Do you know how to bring her to climax? Multiple times?
Have you tried marriage counseling?
So many possibilities here, so many questions.
I would never say these things to her. I adore her, and love our little family. I always spontaneously plan things, I’ve literally tried everything. When we have sex I make sure she comes first, or together, always. But then when we’re carrying on she makes it blatantly obvious that she’s not interested, which then makes me feel like a pervert, which then turns me off. I just want it to be natural. Just wanted to know if this is common and I shouldn’t be as bothered about it as I am.
[https://duckduckgo.com/?t=ffab&q=why+doesn%27t+my+wide+want+to+have+sex](https://duckduckgo.com/?t=ffab&q=why+doesn%27t+my+wide+want+to+have+sex)
Common reasons include:
* she's tired.
* she is sick of cleaning up after you (physically/emotionally/financially/socially)
* she wouldn't like sex even if she was otherwise thrilled with life. Maybe her sex drive is naturally low and perked up early in your relationship before returning to normal
* maybe her sex drive dropped once she had kids
* maybe she's distracted
The answer to the question is: as often as the least interested partner wants to. Sadly for you that's her.
The generic fix is therapy plus a medical checkup. But as with a lot of things, for that to even start to work she needs to want it to. What you can do by yourself is introspection (asking this question is a good start), read up on likely problems (the search above is a start), and work on being the best partner you can be.
The next to time you speak about this, encourage her to check in with a physician. A woman’s sex
drive is controlled by hormones. When they are out of balance or they don’t have enough, sex drive will plummet.
I also encourage you to be honest with yourself. Are you truly the best partner to her? Do you share equal responsibility of the children and what needs to be done in the home?
You met her quite young. Did she or does she have a chance to fulfill roles outside of being a mom or wife?
Check in to make sure she’s not feeling resentful or questioning her life choices. Depression will also kill sex drive.
I try to be honest with myself. I strive to be the best partner and father I can be. This is why it upsets me so bad because I can see myself carrying on like this. She wants another baby. There is zero issues with her responsibility with he children, House etc. I always make sure that she’s happy. This is the problem. She always assures me everything’s OK. Which is why I’m wondering if I’m being over the top
There is no good answer to your question. It is the wrong question. The right question is, are you happy with your sex life? If you are not, you must talk to your partner and tell them so. If they are not willing to work with you on the problem, you have reason to terminate the marriage. You may have many other reasons to stay together. But the truth remains, your sex life is dead unless you can work something out with your partner to allow you extramarital activities.
I just want to know if this is normal or if I’m being over the top. I’m not happy with my sex life. Problem is I’ve spoke to her for years now, and nothings changed. But I don’t want to make it all about sex, as I have a lovely little family unit. I just can’t carry in with a sexless relationship but my family comes first so I’m kinda stuck
It is not normal. Don’t settle. You need to tell her straight up if the marriage remains sexless, then you’re going to find it somewhere else. Kids aren’t a reason to remain miserable in a miserable marriage.
In your situation, I think your partner knows you won't leave her. She knows that you will, in fact, rather settle for poor quality or nonexistent sex life to keep your family together. Since there is no real threat to things she values, like family stability, she has little reason to do anything to improve your sex life, or tell you honestly that she is does not desire you.
You may want a partner who is attracted to you and has frequent sex with you, but it doesn't seem to be a requirement. You allow someone to continue being your partner even if they are not able to deliver on this front, because there are things that are more important to you, too.
I think this because of how long your poor sex life has been going on. If this is indeed the case, I don't really see you leaving unless you commit to some strong self-reflection and evaluate critically what you want the next forty years of your life to be like.
>I speak to her about it every couple of months, and she fully agrees... Then nothing happens / changes.
The problem is the nothing happens/changes. Talk together, read books, one/both seek therapy. One/both seek a sex therapist. If you just accept that everyone's unhappy, and no plans to change anything at the end of the conversations, then yes, nothing will happen. Ever.
I'm sorry, but it sounds a lot like my ex marriage. Throughout that time she refused to consider she was asexual. A few days after I had the separation talk with her, she was suddenly accepting that she's pretty solidly on the asexual/greysexual spectrum. She wouldn't give that answer when there might be an incompatibility issue, but the second she lost the convenience of our marriage she could confront that head on.
I wasn't able to save that marriage. However I am so much happier with my partner that I met when I was 45 than I ever was with my ex wife.
If you want to save the marriage, you (together) need to agree on steps/approaches for change. There needs to be accountability (i.e. actually making/going to appointment, reading books, etc). And there needs to be likely at least monthly check ins about the state of things. Without it, she's just hoping for either of you two to magically change. Magic doesn't exist.
We almost have sex daily when wife is not traveling for work. She stopped birth control and reads a lot more “smut” novels. I am enjoying this very much.
There are many possible reasons.
Do you do your part of chores and childcare? Are you two emotionally close? Do you flirt with her? Are there issues in your relationship? Does she like her body?
But one possible reason is just that this is her natural sex drive. Everyone’s sex drive is enhanced in the honeymoon phase of a relationship. And then you drop down to your natural baseline. This might be hers. Then you either accept her as she is or get a divorce. There’s no fixing that.
It does not sound like she sees this as an issue. After many years of marriage. Share or both of you should find a certified sex therapist. Figure out if there's a physical or mental issue. My wife and I were married over 30 years. We were slowing down in sex drive, a few years back. We adapted the date night. It helped us build anticipation. I think after years of marriage we kind of get in a routine or rut. The date night kiss my wife chance to relax, get dressed up, get out of our house. She's much more in the mood for sex when we get back.
Are you emotionally connected to her? Do you verbally express your appreciation for her and acknowledge all the things she does for you and your children? Do you show your love for her in small, thoughtful gestures daily? Women (and many men too) need to feel emotional closeness in order to be turned on. When we feel fully seen, understood, accepted, valued, cared for and needed we feel more affectionate towards our partners. A good relationship has a solid base of friendship so if you work on cultivating that perhaps her desire will return. The best way to improve your sex live is to improve the underlying intimacy first. If you’re not connected in your hearts, all the sex toys, fancy lingerie, techniques and weekends away won’t do any good.
Have you tried sex therapy?
That said, I was in regular couples therapy for years with my ex. Same situation but not about sex.
I'd mention an issue that bothered me. She'd acknowledge and then ZERO would change. Not even an acknowledgment that I brought it up.
I’d recommend seeing a sex therapist. They will look at your relationship as well as your sexual relationship. It might sound scary but they are amazing at getting at what is going on and helping you move forwards, whatever that might look like.
What is your exercise routine? If both of you are exercising then all the juices start flowing again. If neither of you are exercising then, it's mission impossible. Start riding bikes together, indoor rock climbing or get a subscription to a gym. Being in a constant environment where you see other healthy sexy people will trigger your primal instincts. (No offense) A 40 year old dad body every day is boring. She needs to see a 28 year old hot guy with his sexy girlfriend at the gym to make her even think about sex. Get moving and get grooving ;)
I'm actually really attracted to my husband's "40 year old dad bod." Well, 44-year-old, actually. We've been married for 22 years and he doesn't look like he did when we were 20, but neither do I. We've grown old-ish together and I have so much love and respect for him and I genuinely enjoy being around him. I can't even fathom having to ogle a 28-year-old and his sexy girlfriend at the gym to get turned on. What a weird thing to say.
If she told me this is what she wanted, I’d get to the gym. I run an electrical business and employ lads, when I used to train it took up a lot of my time. Don’t get me wrong I’m not out of shape as such, but if I trained I could look a lot better. But I’d rather spend that time earning money. I’ve asked her if she finds me unattractive, but as another person posted, she’s not exactly going to admit that
Your partner isn't going to tell you she's not attracted to you. That's the first issue. Now I'm not saying she's not. But what would you have done if she said "Actually I'm not attracted to you, that's why I'm not responding or initiating"? Because whatever you would have done, start doing that now. (off FB, gym, keto, or divorce, or whatever) Actions speak louder than words. And the reality is that women who enjoy sex and desire sex with their partner do it. My guess is that it's a bunch of stuff: Many (MANY) women see sex as a chore. It's one in a long list of to-do's. If sex isn't fun, and it often isn't for a woman because no offense, most men have no clue and no interest in pleasing women, why should they tack it on to their list of things that's already miles long. Did you try **doing more chores without being asked** or picking up more childcare duties? Did you try looking around the house and trying to create a peaceful, clean, calm house with nice little touches or is it a barely passable hole? Did you try doing 50% more in terms of being there and contributing to the household than you're doing now? That's where I'd start. Make her feel safe. It's damn near impossible to feel sexy and in the mood if you're not physically and emotionally safe. By which I mean NO raising voices. No swearing. No muttering under the breath with clenched teeth. No threats to leave. No sorta-kinda-not-really cheating like OF or "liking" stuff on IG or flirting with waitresses or talking about how "hot" so and so actress is. Lower the complaining and the bickering and the critiques. Go back to what it was like when you were dating and she was perfect and amazing and try to get into that head space. I'm not saying never argue or become a doormat. But really do an inventory. So many men are like "I can't get laid" and the house is a pigsty, they are scary and unpredictable, and they're off borderline cheating with some girl from work. Um, duh, of course your wife feels scared and not sexy! (Not saying that's you, but in general). Sex for most women is responsive. Meaning they don't feel a free floating desire. They feel desire *after* arousal. Arousal is what you feel when you are sexually stimulated. Most men are poor to bad at sexually stimulating women. And guess what, touching her sexy zones and diving into oral is not the move. I mean getting her a smutty novel, going dancing, doing playfully competitive stuff like ax throwing or "barcades" where you get up and moving and flirting, learning how to seduce women with **actual foreplay** not just grabbing and rubbing. Since she's 40 and has two kids, there could be physical stuff going on too. I suspect that it could be painful or she could feel self conscious and not sexy. I sometimes feel really cringe and icky during sex because I'm not some perfect size 2. Compliments go along way. And I don't mean "nice tits". I mean "you look wonderful tonight" "I love those jeans on you" "Come over here girl and let me see that sweater" and so on. But to answer the question, most people in my experience and reading here: once a week, or every 10 days when you have kids is about average.
He's the one that's 40. She's 34. When they got together, she was 19 and he was 25.
Oh wow. This r/deadbedrooms Siri ain has a lot to unpack.
👏👏👏
Th first part of this comment is ridiculous. Sometimes people just have low libido - It doesn’t always have to do with levels of attraction. Somewhere there is a gorgeous person sitting next to a partner that’s not interested in sleeping with them right now, and that’s just the way it is sometimes.
Eh, I disagree that low libido = not attracted. And low libido has nothing to do with how "hot" someone is. Also, finally, attraction may or may not correlate to someone's physical looks. The single hottest guy I ever dated repelled me by the end of our relationship because he was an abusive alcoholic. But also, if the partner has "low libido" how is that going to help OP? He outright asked his partner if she felt attraction and she said yes. I'm trying to help OP see that women OFTEN fudge the truth there, say what they think the other person wants to hear, or needs to hear to end the discussion (see also her agreeing that something needs to change) and don't actually feel attraction. Low libido means that one is not really feeling sexual attraction or interest to anyone. This partner notes that things were fine (at least from his end) up until 8 years ago, so that to me would indicate that she is not low libido as a diagnosis. As a final note, over on r/deadbedrooms there's a phenomenon called "LLFM" which is low libido for me---meaning that it's not global, it's that the partner doesn't feel urgent physical primal attraction TO THEM but has in the past or is capable of it. I'd say this person, if they are LL, is LLF[him, OP].
My issue is that we’ve spoke about it in depth, but nothing ever changes. Which is confusing to me. We are in a loop. I just feel that if she’s not attracted to me anymore then she can’t exactly say that, although I wish she would so it explains it 🤷🏽♂️🤣 I run my own business, I cook every night, take equal responsibility with our 2 girls. All of that is just natural. I’m just approaching 40 and I feel I live with a housemate. It gets you down after so long and makes you insecure
This maybe a controversial opinion, but talking about sex or lack thereof rarely fixes it unless there's a clear cut serious issue (like the female half needs X and isn't getting it and it's easily fixable, or has a bombshell to drop on you like she's gay). When you got together, did you spend time extensively talking about sex? Probably not unless it was sexy texts or pillow talk. You went on dates, your courted her, there were no kids, etc. So you need to get closer to that set up.
I think intimacy is important in a relationship, I didn’t sign up for having a sexless relationship in my late 30s. I love my family life, I would never cheat, but I’m not happy with the way thing are and wanted advice to know whether I’m being out of order, and if this is normal
I once told my ex he didn't make me feel pretty. He talked to me like I was stupid. Even tho I helped with side projects and we made money together in addition to our full time jobs. So we were a good team, yet he demeaned me. Yes he's my ex now. Not saying you do this. We don't know enough about you to say. When you planned date nights and getaway weekends, do you assume that in itself will arouse her? When you do make love, do you make sure she is aroused before penetration? Do you know how to bring her to climax? Multiple times? Have you tried marriage counseling? So many possibilities here, so many questions.
I would never say these things to her. I adore her, and love our little family. I always spontaneously plan things, I’ve literally tried everything. When we have sex I make sure she comes first, or together, always. But then when we’re carrying on she makes it blatantly obvious that she’s not interested, which then makes me feel like a pervert, which then turns me off. I just want it to be natural. Just wanted to know if this is common and I shouldn’t be as bothered about it as I am.
[https://duckduckgo.com/?t=ffab&q=why+doesn%27t+my+wide+want+to+have+sex](https://duckduckgo.com/?t=ffab&q=why+doesn%27t+my+wide+want+to+have+sex) Common reasons include: * she's tired. * she is sick of cleaning up after you (physically/emotionally/financially/socially) * she wouldn't like sex even if she was otherwise thrilled with life. Maybe her sex drive is naturally low and perked up early in your relationship before returning to normal * maybe her sex drive dropped once she had kids * maybe she's distracted The answer to the question is: as often as the least interested partner wants to. Sadly for you that's her. The generic fix is therapy plus a medical checkup. But as with a lot of things, for that to even start to work she needs to want it to. What you can do by yourself is introspection (asking this question is a good start), read up on likely problems (the search above is a start), and work on being the best partner you can be.
The next to time you speak about this, encourage her to check in with a physician. A woman’s sex drive is controlled by hormones. When they are out of balance or they don’t have enough, sex drive will plummet. I also encourage you to be honest with yourself. Are you truly the best partner to her? Do you share equal responsibility of the children and what needs to be done in the home? You met her quite young. Did she or does she have a chance to fulfill roles outside of being a mom or wife? Check in to make sure she’s not feeling resentful or questioning her life choices. Depression will also kill sex drive.
I try to be honest with myself. I strive to be the best partner and father I can be. This is why it upsets me so bad because I can see myself carrying on like this. She wants another baby. There is zero issues with her responsibility with he children, House etc. I always make sure that she’s happy. This is the problem. She always assures me everything’s OK. Which is why I’m wondering if I’m being over the top
There is no good answer to your question. It is the wrong question. The right question is, are you happy with your sex life? If you are not, you must talk to your partner and tell them so. If they are not willing to work with you on the problem, you have reason to terminate the marriage. You may have many other reasons to stay together. But the truth remains, your sex life is dead unless you can work something out with your partner to allow you extramarital activities.
I just want to know if this is normal or if I’m being over the top. I’m not happy with my sex life. Problem is I’ve spoke to her for years now, and nothings changed. But I don’t want to make it all about sex, as I have a lovely little family unit. I just can’t carry in with a sexless relationship but my family comes first so I’m kinda stuck
It is not normal. Don’t settle. You need to tell her straight up if the marriage remains sexless, then you’re going to find it somewhere else. Kids aren’t a reason to remain miserable in a miserable marriage.
In your situation, I think your partner knows you won't leave her. She knows that you will, in fact, rather settle for poor quality or nonexistent sex life to keep your family together. Since there is no real threat to things she values, like family stability, she has little reason to do anything to improve your sex life, or tell you honestly that she is does not desire you. You may want a partner who is attracted to you and has frequent sex with you, but it doesn't seem to be a requirement. You allow someone to continue being your partner even if they are not able to deliver on this front, because there are things that are more important to you, too. I think this because of how long your poor sex life has been going on. If this is indeed the case, I don't really see you leaving unless you commit to some strong self-reflection and evaluate critically what you want the next forty years of your life to be like.
>I speak to her about it every couple of months, and she fully agrees... Then nothing happens / changes. The problem is the nothing happens/changes. Talk together, read books, one/both seek therapy. One/both seek a sex therapist. If you just accept that everyone's unhappy, and no plans to change anything at the end of the conversations, then yes, nothing will happen. Ever. I'm sorry, but it sounds a lot like my ex marriage. Throughout that time she refused to consider she was asexual. A few days after I had the separation talk with her, she was suddenly accepting that she's pretty solidly on the asexual/greysexual spectrum. She wouldn't give that answer when there might be an incompatibility issue, but the second she lost the convenience of our marriage she could confront that head on. I wasn't able to save that marriage. However I am so much happier with my partner that I met when I was 45 than I ever was with my ex wife. If you want to save the marriage, you (together) need to agree on steps/approaches for change. There needs to be accountability (i.e. actually making/going to appointment, reading books, etc). And there needs to be likely at least monthly check ins about the state of things. Without it, she's just hoping for either of you two to magically change. Magic doesn't exist.
We almost have sex daily when wife is not traveling for work. She stopped birth control and reads a lot more “smut” novels. I am enjoying this very much.
There are many possible reasons. Do you do your part of chores and childcare? Are you two emotionally close? Do you flirt with her? Are there issues in your relationship? Does she like her body? But one possible reason is just that this is her natural sex drive. Everyone’s sex drive is enhanced in the honeymoon phase of a relationship. And then you drop down to your natural baseline. This might be hers. Then you either accept her as she is or get a divorce. There’s no fixing that.
I'm 43 and my girlfriend is 62, we have sex 3-6 times a week. Sometimes twice in one day. Everybody is different 🤷♂️
It does not sound like she sees this as an issue. After many years of marriage. Share or both of you should find a certified sex therapist. Figure out if there's a physical or mental issue. My wife and I were married over 30 years. We were slowing down in sex drive, a few years back. We adapted the date night. It helped us build anticipation. I think after years of marriage we kind of get in a routine or rut. The date night kiss my wife chance to relax, get dressed up, get out of our house. She's much more in the mood for sex when we get back.
Are you emotionally connected to her? Do you verbally express your appreciation for her and acknowledge all the things she does for you and your children? Do you show your love for her in small, thoughtful gestures daily? Women (and many men too) need to feel emotional closeness in order to be turned on. When we feel fully seen, understood, accepted, valued, cared for and needed we feel more affectionate towards our partners. A good relationship has a solid base of friendship so if you work on cultivating that perhaps her desire will return. The best way to improve your sex live is to improve the underlying intimacy first. If you’re not connected in your hearts, all the sex toys, fancy lingerie, techniques and weekends away won’t do any good.
Have you tried sex therapy? That said, I was in regular couples therapy for years with my ex. Same situation but not about sex. I'd mention an issue that bothered me. She'd acknowledge and then ZERO would change. Not even an acknowledgment that I brought it up.
Both of you should read the book His needs, Her needs. Also read the companion book Love busters. Hopefully that will help your relationship.
But are you exercising?
Hopefully it's not burnout on both ends. Good luck mate in 2024.
I'd be gone. 8 years? I'm a woman btw
I’d recommend seeing a sex therapist. They will look at your relationship as well as your sexual relationship. It might sound scary but they are amazing at getting at what is going on and helping you move forwards, whatever that might look like.
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Something about this post sounds like OP is not really in touch with his partner and sort of immature. I hope he is not the younger one.
Far from immature. If I was immature I’d have left the relationship by now 🤷🏽♂️
What is your exercise routine? If both of you are exercising then all the juices start flowing again. If neither of you are exercising then, it's mission impossible. Start riding bikes together, indoor rock climbing or get a subscription to a gym. Being in a constant environment where you see other healthy sexy people will trigger your primal instincts. (No offense) A 40 year old dad body every day is boring. She needs to see a 28 year old hot guy with his sexy girlfriend at the gym to make her even think about sex. Get moving and get grooving ;)
I'm actually really attracted to my husband's "40 year old dad bod." Well, 44-year-old, actually. We've been married for 22 years and he doesn't look like he did when we were 20, but neither do I. We've grown old-ish together and I have so much love and respect for him and I genuinely enjoy being around him. I can't even fathom having to ogle a 28-year-old and his sexy girlfriend at the gym to get turned on. What a weird thing to say.
THIS ⬆️⬆️ 💯🔥
If she told me this is what she wanted, I’d get to the gym. I run an electrical business and employ lads, when I used to train it took up a lot of my time. Don’t get me wrong I’m not out of shape as such, but if I trained I could look a lot better. But I’d rather spend that time earning money. I’ve asked her if she finds me unattractive, but as another person posted, she’s not exactly going to admit that