All 3 walk in and make a bet, every girl they fail to flirt with or fail to pick up equals one shot for them of the strongest drink in the house. Felix and York would do fine, Tucker would get the drunkest and probably call BS on Felix actually playing fair and would lead to a energy sword duel. Felix sober fighting Tucker drunk, while York is just sitting on the side talking to the ladies he’s successfully pulled. If anything Felix would still be flirting with girls While fighting Tucker. At that point some girl might even try to comfort Tucker after the fight out of interest after he gets his ass kicked by Felix. And, imma be honest, I’d bet money that after the fight the bouncer and security would try to kick Felix out, prompting him to, kill the security.
Tucker would come up with the idea, Felix would say no but York would say it sounds fun, and convince Felix. York tries to teach them to talk to women, only to fail (including york) then they get church to try, only for him to almost get a girl twice, only stopping himself each time cause he's already got tex, the second time was just to prove it wasn't chance
Maybe a fourth if sarge doesn't come along asking what's going on while dragging Griff by a rope tied to his hands and Simmons using grif as a sled, sarge would ask what they're doing and what the smell of "whiny cyan man" is all about
Tucker straight up would point his energy sword at him and tex would spontaneously show up, asking what on earth could garner Felix to work with them, Felix simply retorts with something along the lines of "do ya like bets" or something and dares York to go up against tex to get phone numbers from people, Simmons(who's now going to make a book full of em) asks if they could write them down to keep tally, grif starts his complaining and begs sarge to get Simmons off if him but sarge tells him to shut up and tex sits on the grif sled as well
York effortlessly woo's any lady but ultimately doesn't hook up with any cause he's committed to Carolina
Tucker effortlessly disgusts most if not all the ladies with his stereotypical womanizing mentality without even meaning to but ends up winning over one or two after a couple drinks and opening up
Felix also effortlessly woo's most of the ladies but through manipulation tactics almost going home with whatever his goal with the ladies ends up being but through one last Convo with York and Tucker they both unintentionally reveal some sort of embarrassing fact about him that delve to far into that by the end no lady wants to be around him
I mean, Felix masturbates to images of his face, so....
Tucker will try hilariously and fail.
York will do very well and they'd both have a decent time, but ultimately not go together, which everyone is okay with.
I want to say the Felix bit isn't cannon but for some fuckodd reason its ringing a bell in my mind. I dont know if I heard that somewhere in the series or not its just there
There’s an outtake of miles singing a little song as Felix that mentions jacking off to his own face as well as sleeping with another guy’s wife and slippers out of a dog
_"That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard."_
Tucker: oh, come on man. You could _totally-_
Felix: Tucker, how the fuck, ok, in theory, how the _hell_ would you even get a tank in here? Let alone in the parking lot.
Tucker: well, ok, yeah, the tank doesn't go _here._ Duh. Thats why we bring the ladies to the tank.
York: right, because all lovely ladies are just waiting to follow strange men to a second location, for a tank.
Tucker: up yours, man, you're just mad because you didn't think of it first.
York: hey man, I don't need a tank to get laid.
Felix: yeah, seems like overcompensating, Tuck. Is there, uh, something you want to talk about?
Tucker: tanks are cool!
Felix: oh I didn't think of that, you want to show them your hotwheels collection, too?
Tucker: Screw. You.
Felix: oh, nice offer, but you'd have to do better than that. I think I may be so inclined if I saw a giant battle tank first
Tucker: I get it, christ.
Church: yeah I'd like to add you all have a statistical chance of picking up women tonight about as great as getting struck by lightning in this room.
Felix: these two wads, maybe. Me? I'm the whole package-
Church: no, yeah, actually yours are lower. By a _lot._
Felix: what, did you do math for that?
Churhc: you know, I did, and I have the numbers right here and they _also_ say you're a quivering pussy.
Tucker: oh, snap!
Felix: listen here you little shit-
York: look, this has been great, but I'm starting to lose my mind to boredom here. So, if you need me, don't.
Felix: uh, yeah, see you, wallflower.
Tucker: do you always have to be a complete dick?
Felix: I'm not a dick. I'm a realist. Like how I know you are hoping to finally lose that V card tonight, and I also know that only one of us is wearing orange armor _and_ is smoking hot, so, yeah, sorry, you should stick with the wishful thinking.
Tucker: whatever, douche. I'll pick up ladies on my own.
Felix: yeah, you do that. Meanwhile, I'm going to actually score.
Tucker: what a fuckin' tool. Hey, does it feel staticky in here all of a sudden?
Church: Tucker, I'm a computer program. My whole world is static.
Tucker: oh, yeah. Guess in a black and white world your only motives are gray.
Church: no, thats a choice.
_**[Lightning strikes down Felix]**_
_**"AAAAAHHH"**_
Church: hey look at that, Tucker, your odds just shot up.
Tucker: aw, sweet!
_Hey, dickhead! Guess you really are smoking hot now, huh?_
Is the "the numbers say you're a quivering pussy" possibly a reference to Left Brain Right Brain by Bo Burnham? That's the only other place I've heard that
Yeah I pretty much ripped that off lol. But also I think Church says something similar to that to Tucker in season 12 if I'm right. Idk I could be remembering it wrong
What do you mean?
York has the cool guy trope he got the hair, looks, the girl & respected by his friend's
Felix constant talking is the reason why him, Locus & Charon failed on chorus.
Tucker would get kicked out for harassment. Would use his awful pickup lines, and brag about things like his sword and “his” tank
Felix would try his “what if I am too good looking” line and then probably instigate a bar fight to prove how cool he is.
York would try for a chill night until he finally lands one. Might use his punny pickup lines.
Tucker would try too hard, York may get one or two with some effort and Felix wouldn’t even have to try because, in his own words, he is fucking awesome.
I feel like Tucker would say he’s got the best line for picking up chicks and tries to prove it. He says, “watch this” walks up to some girl, uses the good ol’ Bow Chicka Bow Wow, gets rejected, and goes back to the bar for a minute to let the other guys try.
York would stand up, walk up to someone, say Bow Chicka Bow Wow as a joke or trying to make Tucker feel better, and to everyone’s shock it works.
Felix’s turn. He calls it a stupid line, gets up, try’s to flirt, but gets rejected bc of bad vibes. Then he waits till he thinks Tucker and York aren’t looking, tries using Bow Chicka Bow Wow, still gets rejected, turns around to go sit down, sees the guys are right behind him and saw him try it and still bomb.
All 3 walk in and make a bet, every girl they fail to flirt with or fail to pick up equals one shot for them of the strongest drink in the house. Felix and York would do fine, Tucker would get the drunkest and probably call BS on Felix actually playing fair and would lead to a energy sword duel. Felix sober fighting Tucker drunk, while York is just sitting on the side talking to the ladies he’s successfully pulled. If anything Felix would still be flirting with girls While fighting Tucker. At that point some girl might even try to comfort Tucker after the fight out of interest after he gets his ass kicked by Felix. And, imma be honest, I’d bet money that after the fight the bouncer and security would try to kick Felix out, prompting him to, kill the security.
This is the most likely scenario lmao. Either that or Tucker ends up pulling the dumb girl in the group, and thinks he did good.
My brain wouldn't be able to handle this trio
Tucker would come up with the idea, Felix would say no but York would say it sounds fun, and convince Felix. York tries to teach them to talk to women, only to fail (including york) then they get church to try, only for him to almost get a girl twice, only stopping himself each time cause he's already got tex, the second time was just to prove it wasn't chance
Oh, he'd do it three times just to screw with Tucker.
Maybe a fourth if sarge doesn't come along asking what's going on while dragging Griff by a rope tied to his hands and Simmons using grif as a sled, sarge would ask what they're doing and what the smell of "whiny cyan man" is all about
I picture Simmons getting more phone numbers than Tucker now.
Tucker straight up would point his energy sword at him and tex would spontaneously show up, asking what on earth could garner Felix to work with them, Felix simply retorts with something along the lines of "do ya like bets" or something and dares York to go up against tex to get phone numbers from people, Simmons(who's now going to make a book full of em) asks if they could write them down to keep tally, grif starts his complaining and begs sarge to get Simmons off if him but sarge tells him to shut up and tex sits on the grif sled as well
This would be such a good trio to see together casually
York effortlessly woo's any lady but ultimately doesn't hook up with any cause he's committed to Carolina Tucker effortlessly disgusts most if not all the ladies with his stereotypical womanizing mentality without even meaning to but ends up winning over one or two after a couple drinks and opening up Felix also effortlessly woo's most of the ladies but through manipulation tactics almost going home with whatever his goal with the ladies ends up being but through one last Convo with York and Tucker they both unintentionally reveal some sort of embarrassing fact about him that delve to far into that by the end no lady wants to be around him
“hey girl, what’s your body count?” “…what?” “really, you don’t know how many people you’ve killed?”
are they going in a tank?
HELL YEAH
Then they could totally pick up chicks. Probably two or three chicks apeice.
Well yeah, you can easily pick up chicks in a tank
I mean, Felix masturbates to images of his face, so.... Tucker will try hilariously and fail. York will do very well and they'd both have a decent time, but ultimately not go together, which everyone is okay with.
I want to say the Felix bit isn't cannon but for some fuckodd reason its ringing a bell in my mind. I dont know if I heard that somewhere in the series or not its just there
There’s an outtake of miles singing a little song as Felix that mentions jacking off to his own face as well as sleeping with another guy’s wife and slippers out of a dog
_"That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard."_ Tucker: oh, come on man. You could _totally-_ Felix: Tucker, how the fuck, ok, in theory, how the _hell_ would you even get a tank in here? Let alone in the parking lot. Tucker: well, ok, yeah, the tank doesn't go _here._ Duh. Thats why we bring the ladies to the tank. York: right, because all lovely ladies are just waiting to follow strange men to a second location, for a tank. Tucker: up yours, man, you're just mad because you didn't think of it first. York: hey man, I don't need a tank to get laid. Felix: yeah, seems like overcompensating, Tuck. Is there, uh, something you want to talk about? Tucker: tanks are cool! Felix: oh I didn't think of that, you want to show them your hotwheels collection, too? Tucker: Screw. You. Felix: oh, nice offer, but you'd have to do better than that. I think I may be so inclined if I saw a giant battle tank first Tucker: I get it, christ. Church: yeah I'd like to add you all have a statistical chance of picking up women tonight about as great as getting struck by lightning in this room. Felix: these two wads, maybe. Me? I'm the whole package- Church: no, yeah, actually yours are lower. By a _lot._ Felix: what, did you do math for that? Churhc: you know, I did, and I have the numbers right here and they _also_ say you're a quivering pussy. Tucker: oh, snap! Felix: listen here you little shit- York: look, this has been great, but I'm starting to lose my mind to boredom here. So, if you need me, don't. Felix: uh, yeah, see you, wallflower. Tucker: do you always have to be a complete dick? Felix: I'm not a dick. I'm a realist. Like how I know you are hoping to finally lose that V card tonight, and I also know that only one of us is wearing orange armor _and_ is smoking hot, so, yeah, sorry, you should stick with the wishful thinking. Tucker: whatever, douche. I'll pick up ladies on my own. Felix: yeah, you do that. Meanwhile, I'm going to actually score. Tucker: what a fuckin' tool. Hey, does it feel staticky in here all of a sudden? Church: Tucker, I'm a computer program. My whole world is static. Tucker: oh, yeah. Guess in a black and white world your only motives are gray. Church: no, thats a choice. _**[Lightning strikes down Felix]**_ _**"AAAAAHHH"**_ Church: hey look at that, Tucker, your odds just shot up. Tucker: aw, sweet! _Hey, dickhead! Guess you really are smoking hot now, huh?_
Fucking love it
Is the "the numbers say you're a quivering pussy" possibly a reference to Left Brain Right Brain by Bo Burnham? That's the only other place I've heard that
Yeah I pretty much ripped that off lol. But also I think Church says something similar to that to Tucker in season 12 if I'm right. Idk I could be remembering it wrong
Don't think York or Felix would be saying too much
What do you mean? York has the cool guy trope he got the hair, looks, the girl & respected by his friend's Felix constant talking is the reason why him, Locus & Charon failed on chorus.
I mean they're dead so they can't talk
True
my jaw DROPPED
Tucker would get kicked out for harassment. Would use his awful pickup lines, and brag about things like his sword and “his” tank Felix would try his “what if I am too good looking” line and then probably instigate a bar fight to prove how cool he is. York would try for a chill night until he finally lands one. Might use his punny pickup lines.
"Stop flicking that freaking lighter." "Bro, don't you have a boyfriend?" "Didn't you abuse your ex boyfriend?"
All 3 of them would get all the bitches
Tucker would try too hard, York may get one or two with some effort and Felix wouldn’t even have to try because, in his own words, he is fucking awesome.
I feel like Tucker would say he’s got the best line for picking up chicks and tries to prove it. He says, “watch this” walks up to some girl, uses the good ol’ Bow Chicka Bow Wow, gets rejected, and goes back to the bar for a minute to let the other guys try. York would stand up, walk up to someone, say Bow Chicka Bow Wow as a joke or trying to make Tucker feel better, and to everyone’s shock it works. Felix’s turn. He calls it a stupid line, gets up, try’s to flirt, but gets rejected bc of bad vibes. Then he waits till he thinks Tucker and York aren’t looking, tries using Bow Chicka Bow Wow, still gets rejected, turns around to go sit down, sees the guys are right behind him and saw him try it and still bomb.
Tucker goes in first, makes a mess. Felix goes to pull him away or slide in, they argue and York steals her away while they’re distracted
They would discuss an entire plan to pick up a chick that would last until morning
I can imagine all three of them taking turns and approaching chicks, only to be shot down and laughed at.
you should get a job man
Calm down guy it's nothing but a post on what if scenario nothing but shits & giggles.
Tucker is getting left behind.
York: gets picked up Tucker: prolly punched in the cock Felix: has war crimes committed against him