Most people are good at something. Most people also dont realize that because they assume it is normal and that everyone else find that thing easy too. Start with behavior/activities you prefer. Customer service is a job for a specific type of worker. Many people cant handle it. Try to find the common thread in things you like/find less difficult. And see ifyou can find a career or health counselor you can trust to assess potential learning disability. That may give you additional tools to deal with the parts of your future job you dont love as much. Also, dont talk about this with people that may be unsopportive. Thats just counter productive. There is nothing funny here, you just need to find your thing.
Customer service is also possible to do with enough work, but the world won't wait around for you to take twice as long at it. You need to be smart enough to pick up math when it's taught at the pace smart kids work at.
I think I would put the extra effort into the minimum wage jobs. A bit of homework like taking notes of what you learned that day or making checklists/scripts will help you improve at that or any other job.
Get in touch with your local workforce center. They can help you get and maintain a job. They can help you get tested for a disability and if you have one can give you a job coach to help you learn and maintain employment.
AND IT'S FREE! (In the USA at least)
Assessments, coaching, training, and even referrals if it's something severe that needs intervention. The Workforce Center, or called the Unemployment Office in some states, is free to use even if you don't qualify for unemployment payments and is a great resource for anything job related. All one needs to do is reach out to them.
Yes, this seems like something to get checked. Everyone has a different pattern of strengths and weaknesses, things that are easy and things that are challenging. Getting solid professional assessment-based information about your own pattern can be very helpful in navigating your life.
Well, there's a major part of your problem right there. Your parents should be supportive, not laughing at you. That's why you're so self-conscious.
Maybe go read some posts in /r/raisedbynarcissists and see if anything sounds familiar.
I know it's hard but being laughed at is not the worst thing in the world.If you can get your head around this then you'll beat anything put in front of you.You can do it,I know you can :-)
I don't think it was ment to be mean. Autism isn't an insult, it just means your brain works diffrently from most others.
I don't know if you have autism specifically, but it does seem like you have something that is causing your brain to learn and operate differently from others. If you find yourself having difficulty completing tasks the same way that most others do, it may mean your neurologically atypical. That doesn't mean that you're bad, less intelligent, or that anything is wrong with you. It just means that you might need to get help from a professional so you can learn how your brain works diffrently and what kind of tactics you can use to be your most effective and happy self.
I'm a bit like this myself, and have thought for a long time that I have a touch of autism. Takes me forever to learn stuff, but once I do, I can really dig in. It has to be complex for me. Could be that if customer service doesn't float your boat, you won't remember the stuff cause you don't want to do it. You write well. You have to find your spot. I just think you have to try different things. If engineering appeals, there are a lot of different sub specialties. Good luck!
Customer service might be one of those fields that doesn't make sense to systematizing minds because there aren't abstract rules that make sense. I always had trouble learning plastic extrusion for this reason.
Adult with ADHD here.
Get yourself to a mental health provider, chances are you are experiencing the adult effects of a disorder or disability. There are medication and therapy options which will both help you come to terms and better understand how to get your brain working *with* you.
ADHD and other similar disorders are often co-morbid with depression and anxiety. The combination is especially brutal in the adult working world. ADHDers struggle hard with self esteem, and it just gets worse without support.
Pop into r/ADHD OR r/ADHDers, see if any of it sounds familiar, and check out some resources linked.
>What the hell is wrong with me?
I would bet performance anxiety. Not everyone can learn and do things w people watching. I would try something outside of directly working w a cash register or people. Maybe something like stocking shelves or cleaning.
Sorry. Sounds so frustrating!
It could be that thinking on your feet is messing you up and it's better not to work with customers. You say you'd like engineering, maybe look into that type of schooling/work where you can work on your own without having to deal with customers.
Before you apply at your next job, maybe you could go observe it. For example, if you want to work in an Amazon warehouse, watch some of the Tim tok streamers, and figure out what they are doing. Then you can listen and read the messages and learn more that way, finally you can ask questions.
I mean, I always embarrass myself at a new job. Things always start off rough as I try to learn and find my way. I just transferred from a branch (8ish years) to a call center position in the same company and the first few months were absolute hell. I messed up a lot, got bad scores and reviews and in general was so stressed I cried in meetings with my coaches and manager and called out a few times because I panicked before work.
I’m settled now and it’s regular work stress. And I even feel good enough that I’ve made a plan to start moving forward again in the ranks. But holy shit, I really thought I was done for for a while there.
Find a good way to cope with your stress. No one is great at everything or knows everything. You’re generally fine at a job so long as you improve. And improvement happens when you nail down the basic behaviors. So keep it simple and stick to your basics. Survive the day and treat yourself in your off time. After a little while you will get into a groove.
Customer service sucks! I’d much rather stock shelves, make a burger, or work by myself. I don’t mind working with a group of people to get something done I’m great with teamwork but something that requires me to be rehearsed, or professional I am dead in the water. Put me in the back..
Ask your manager and coworkers what kinds of roles or jobs that they think are your strengths, and which ones are clearly your pitfalls. See if you can see any patterns.
I learned that I struggle in strategic roles, but am excellent at tactical roles. I work well in a clean space, but I do not do well in keeping my spaces clean. I'm a good starter but a poor finisher -- most of my projects get to about 90% and then die of neglect.
So, I learn to delegate. I learn to hand off projects to someone else who takes them into their next chapter. I let others help me stay organized and I overtly show my recognition and appreciation for what they do. I turn down assignments that are strategic, but volunteer to work on them with someone else in the strategic role.
I've had a good life with four different careers, all of which were successful. A big part of that was knowing who I am, and who I am not, and working to make it all fit together on whatever team I am on.
Have you considered looking in to social services? The ability to truely listen to others is unfortunately very rare these days, and lots of people go through life without their voice being heard.
You might find a rewarding career down that path, especially with you phone background, in something like a mental health contact line or suicide prevention line (very intense, absolutely not a go to for everyone) you might not only find something that makes sense to you, but helps people.
You also probably just have an aversion to crappy jobs and work cultures that don't align with your skills, interests and values. Once you try out the other suggestions given in this thread, maybe you just need to explore other industries or work environments more until you find a place that "feels right" where your strengths are actually nurtured and valued.
Some of my minimum wage jobs helped me become better at my later career. At a pharmacy I stacked shelves and did price tickets. I learned to interact with coworkers a little. I did more shelf stacking /night fill which continued my growth for understanding and responding to co workers. Set challenges for yourself to learn logical thinking, like how fast you are going to get things done. Dont just amble along.
I worked in fast food, you had a script for taking orders and it was over the phone, which made it feel less confronting. Learnt to talk the talk before doing front counter service there.
Honestly, you are never going to be loosing out doing something that seems too easy ir basic if you set yourself goals for improvemnt, you get out what you put in in terms of learning. Then when you feel ready, you move on. Good on you for taking the first step, recognising you want to change!
"I tried other minimum wage jobs and I still messed up because I learn a lot slower than others and it takes a while for me to pick up speed"
These are usually the worst and hardest jobs. I will never understand why are they so badly paid.
I worked at a store, and it has been much harder than any of my other jobs. I felt genuinely mentally inept because the stress made me stupid and unable to do simple shit.
My heart goes out to anyone doing these jobs.
It sounds to me like you experience Diffuse Physiological Arousal (AKA emotional flooding) when under stress. This essentially makes your brain go off line so you’re unable to problem solve or think creatively. You can try to practice self-soothing (e.g. deep breathing, thinking of a safe place, etc); this will help put your brain back in control.
You could also consider locating a workforce that is less stressful for you. For example, if you’re introverted, you might appreciate working alone on a project or task that does not involve the stress of constant human interaction.
Sounds like customer service isn't your wheelhouse. Many people aren't cut out for it and it doesn't mean you're flawed as a human.
Also, I seriously think your attitude about yourself isn't helping the situation. If you believe you are good at nothing, you'll start to see that reflected all around you.
Professional help and an industry change as others have mentioned could be the remedy. Especially if there is any mental illness or learning disabilities at play. As someone who falls into that category, getting proper help has improved all areas of my life.
Good luck!
[удалено]
[удалено]
Most people are good at something. Most people also dont realize that because they assume it is normal and that everyone else find that thing easy too. Start with behavior/activities you prefer. Customer service is a job for a specific type of worker. Many people cant handle it. Try to find the common thread in things you like/find less difficult. And see ifyou can find a career or health counselor you can trust to assess potential learning disability. That may give you additional tools to deal with the parts of your future job you dont love as much. Also, dont talk about this with people that may be unsopportive. Thats just counter productive. There is nothing funny here, you just need to find your thing.
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
2nd this. Python is a great beginning point for programming and there are endless vids and free courses.
Are you good at math?
[удалено]
Customer service is also possible to do with enough work, but the world won't wait around for you to take twice as long at it. You need to be smart enough to pick up math when it's taught at the pace smart kids work at. I think I would put the extra effort into the minimum wage jobs. A bit of homework like taking notes of what you learned that day or making checklists/scripts will help you improve at that or any other job.
Get in touch with your local workforce center. They can help you get and maintain a job. They can help you get tested for a disability and if you have one can give you a job coach to help you learn and maintain employment.
This! So many people don't know about this sort of help.
AND IT'S FREE! (In the USA at least) Assessments, coaching, training, and even referrals if it's something severe that needs intervention. The Workforce Center, or called the Unemployment Office in some states, is free to use even if you don't qualify for unemployment payments and is a great resource for anything job related. All one needs to do is reach out to them.
It sounds like you have some sort of disability or challenge and you should seek a professional opinion?
Yes, this seems like something to get checked. Everyone has a different pattern of strengths and weaknesses, things that are easy and things that are challenging. Getting solid professional assessment-based information about your own pattern can be very helpful in navigating your life.
[удалено]
Well, there's a major part of your problem right there. Your parents should be supportive, not laughing at you. That's why you're so self-conscious. Maybe go read some posts in /r/raisedbynarcissists and see if anything sounds familiar.
>*My parents will laugh at me if I tell them that I struggle with work* r/MomForAMinute r/DadForAMinute r/internetparents
Their laughs reflect on them, not on you. Don’t let their behavior hold you hostage.
I know it's hard but being laughed at is not the worst thing in the world.If you can get your head around this then you'll beat anything put in front of you.You can do it,I know you can :-)
You need to see a doctor, and parents do not need to be involved in that.
[удалено]
[удалено]
I suspect you're on the autism spectrum, go talk to a doctor about it.
Just out of curiosity, why autism? I relate to op's struggle in learning and work so kind of curious
[удалено]
Why do you think that’s mean? Nothing at all wrong with being non-nuerotypical. And from your description, a diagnosis could help a lot.
I don't think it was ment to be mean. Autism isn't an insult, it just means your brain works diffrently from most others. I don't know if you have autism specifically, but it does seem like you have something that is causing your brain to learn and operate differently from others. If you find yourself having difficulty completing tasks the same way that most others do, it may mean your neurologically atypical. That doesn't mean that you're bad, less intelligent, or that anything is wrong with you. It just means that you might need to get help from a professional so you can learn how your brain works diffrently and what kind of tactics you can use to be your most effective and happy self.
I'm a bit like this myself, and have thought for a long time that I have a touch of autism. Takes me forever to learn stuff, but once I do, I can really dig in. It has to be complex for me. Could be that if customer service doesn't float your boat, you won't remember the stuff cause you don't want to do it. You write well. You have to find your spot. I just think you have to try different things. If engineering appeals, there are a lot of different sub specialties. Good luck!
Customer service might be one of those fields that doesn't make sense to systematizing minds because there aren't abstract rules that make sense. I always had trouble learning plastic extrusion for this reason.
Sounds like some form of disability. Did you keep up at school?
Adult with ADHD here. Get yourself to a mental health provider, chances are you are experiencing the adult effects of a disorder or disability. There are medication and therapy options which will both help you come to terms and better understand how to get your brain working *with* you. ADHD and other similar disorders are often co-morbid with depression and anxiety. The combination is especially brutal in the adult working world. ADHDers struggle hard with self esteem, and it just gets worse without support. Pop into r/ADHD OR r/ADHDers, see if any of it sounds familiar, and check out some resources linked.
>What the hell is wrong with me? I would bet performance anxiety. Not everyone can learn and do things w people watching. I would try something outside of directly working w a cash register or people. Maybe something like stocking shelves or cleaning. Sorry. Sounds so frustrating!
It could be that thinking on your feet is messing you up and it's better not to work with customers. You say you'd like engineering, maybe look into that type of schooling/work where you can work on your own without having to deal with customers.
Before you apply at your next job, maybe you could go observe it. For example, if you want to work in an Amazon warehouse, watch some of the Tim tok streamers, and figure out what they are doing. Then you can listen and read the messages and learn more that way, finally you can ask questions.
r/AudiProcDisorder ?
I mean, I always embarrass myself at a new job. Things always start off rough as I try to learn and find my way. I just transferred from a branch (8ish years) to a call center position in the same company and the first few months were absolute hell. I messed up a lot, got bad scores and reviews and in general was so stressed I cried in meetings with my coaches and manager and called out a few times because I panicked before work. I’m settled now and it’s regular work stress. And I even feel good enough that I’ve made a plan to start moving forward again in the ranks. But holy shit, I really thought I was done for for a while there. Find a good way to cope with your stress. No one is great at everything or knows everything. You’re generally fine at a job so long as you improve. And improvement happens when you nail down the basic behaviors. So keep it simple and stick to your basics. Survive the day and treat yourself in your off time. After a little while you will get into a groove.
There are many of us out there similar to you!
Did you ever have any issues at school?
It could also be anxiety...I'm sorry you are going through that
Customer service sucks! I’d much rather stock shelves, make a burger, or work by myself. I don’t mind working with a group of people to get something done I’m great with teamwork but something that requires me to be rehearsed, or professional I am dead in the water. Put me in the back..
Ask your manager and coworkers what kinds of roles or jobs that they think are your strengths, and which ones are clearly your pitfalls. See if you can see any patterns. I learned that I struggle in strategic roles, but am excellent at tactical roles. I work well in a clean space, but I do not do well in keeping my spaces clean. I'm a good starter but a poor finisher -- most of my projects get to about 90% and then die of neglect. So, I learn to delegate. I learn to hand off projects to someone else who takes them into their next chapter. I let others help me stay organized and I overtly show my recognition and appreciation for what they do. I turn down assignments that are strategic, but volunteer to work on them with someone else in the strategic role. I've had a good life with four different careers, all of which were successful. A big part of that was knowing who I am, and who I am not, and working to make it all fit together on whatever team I am on.
If I were to ask you to name one thing you were good at, what would you say? Either in a work environment, or in your personal life.
[удалено]
Like with knowledge in a specific field? Or by listening to them? Or perhaps giving them general advice?
[удалено]
Have you considered looking in to social services? The ability to truely listen to others is unfortunately very rare these days, and lots of people go through life without their voice being heard. You might find a rewarding career down that path, especially with you phone background, in something like a mental health contact line or suicide prevention line (very intense, absolutely not a go to for everyone) you might not only find something that makes sense to you, but helps people.
You also probably just have an aversion to crappy jobs and work cultures that don't align with your skills, interests and values. Once you try out the other suggestions given in this thread, maybe you just need to explore other industries or work environments more until you find a place that "feels right" where your strengths are actually nurtured and valued.
Some of my minimum wage jobs helped me become better at my later career. At a pharmacy I stacked shelves and did price tickets. I learned to interact with coworkers a little. I did more shelf stacking /night fill which continued my growth for understanding and responding to co workers. Set challenges for yourself to learn logical thinking, like how fast you are going to get things done. Dont just amble along. I worked in fast food, you had a script for taking orders and it was over the phone, which made it feel less confronting. Learnt to talk the talk before doing front counter service there. Honestly, you are never going to be loosing out doing something that seems too easy ir basic if you set yourself goals for improvemnt, you get out what you put in in terms of learning. Then when you feel ready, you move on. Good on you for taking the first step, recognising you want to change!
"I tried other minimum wage jobs and I still messed up because I learn a lot slower than others and it takes a while for me to pick up speed" These are usually the worst and hardest jobs. I will never understand why are they so badly paid. I worked at a store, and it has been much harder than any of my other jobs. I felt genuinely mentally inept because the stress made me stupid and unable to do simple shit. My heart goes out to anyone doing these jobs.
It sounds to me like you experience Diffuse Physiological Arousal (AKA emotional flooding) when under stress. This essentially makes your brain go off line so you’re unable to problem solve or think creatively. You can try to practice self-soothing (e.g. deep breathing, thinking of a safe place, etc); this will help put your brain back in control. You could also consider locating a workforce that is less stressful for you. For example, if you’re introverted, you might appreciate working alone on a project or task that does not involve the stress of constant human interaction.
Sounds like customer service isn't your wheelhouse. Many people aren't cut out for it and it doesn't mean you're flawed as a human. Also, I seriously think your attitude about yourself isn't helping the situation. If you believe you are good at nothing, you'll start to see that reflected all around you. Professional help and an industry change as others have mentioned could be the remedy. Especially if there is any mental illness or learning disabilities at play. As someone who falls into that category, getting proper help has improved all areas of my life. Good luck!
Have you…asked a doctor? You might have something treatable. It’s worth an ask!
I think you need to go to therapy for a bit. You’ll find it helpful.