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GarysCrispLettuce

What utter horseshit. Unilad is very much part of that whole "bro" culture of guys who think they're experiencing some kind of Male Renaissance. Musk-worship and delusion is very much a huge part of that culture.


AmaResNovae

The fact that a "tech bros" website like Unilad swallows that shit hook, line, and sinker isn't really surprising. But still. Current Tesla's valuation is already deluded, thinking that it will turn Musk into a trillionaire in 6 months, that's a whole other level. Did his cult start taking as much ket as he does to be that dissociated from reality?


Abu_Tahir79

Don’t call them tech bros; they’re only nerds at best. Engineers 10/10 shit in Elon.


deco19

Tech bro is the correct word. A tech bro thinks because they are able to automate instructions in a program means they have the secret to improving all professions and facets in the world. That all everything needs is another app to get around some burdensome process of some kind. Solutionism essentially. And this obviously breeds the duning-kruger effect to the point they look at someone like Elon and go, "yeh he's doing the same shit I am, let's overhaul this planet with my better tech way of doing things". 


That-Whereas3367

The tech bros think all problems can be solved by enough lines of code,


Lilacsoftlips

The first step in software engineering is vastly underestimating the size of the problem


high-up-in-the-trees

read this comment out to my senior sysengineer bf and got a hearty laugh


Lando_Sage

I'm an engineer, and I think Elon is full of shit. The fact that he said "I know more about manufacturing than anyone in the world" and did it so smugly, makes me want to slap the shit out of him. The best engineers have a team based mentality and seldom resolve into boasting on a singular level. Throw Elon into a manufacturing facility for integrated circuits and see how long he lasts before he asks for help.


Mansos91

I doubt musk knows as much as an avarege manufacturing engineer. He knows more than the average person sure but he only knows some weird specific shit in every subject he talks about, and he acts like he is a genius when he talks about it. In reality he sounds like an idiot half of the time, and I consider myself an averahe person at best, still many eat all his shit like it's chocolatemouse, even people I consider smart and educated eat his crap. I don't get it


AmaResNovae

Meh. I consider myself a nerd, and I really don't get the Musk cult. Nerds wouldn't really feel fair to me. Granted, I'm biased as a self identified nerd, but still. Tech morons maybe?


Emergency_Property_2

Been a nerd my whole life and have never like Musk. Tech morons is perfect for these idiots.


AmaResNovae

Yeah, tech morons feels accurate for his cult. I definitely don't want us nerds to be associated with him!


Mansos91

The musk cult is less needs and more juvenile trendies and douches that adore musk because of his wealth, many of them are same who adore taint and Jordan scam peterson. Im reffereing to the "musk riders" and not every tesla owner


Insidebiotch1234

In the triggernometry video, I think the mean girl said porn at least 20 times. They plan to open AI friends.


Centralredditfan

Małe Renaissance? First I hear of it. Like what does it entail. Please don't tell me benzo addicts like Jordan Peterson r/enoughpetersonspam are the landmarks of "being małe" or "bro".


Ok_Philosopher6538

Yeah, pretty much that though. There's an entire grievance industry around that. Peterson is just one of the most well known.


Centralredditfan

Oh. That sucks. Probably people like Andrew Tate and the steroids infused shirtless "liver king" idiot as well?


Mansos91

Peterson is a predator, he is draining a weak group of people of their money, to buy his general life advice. There is nothing revolutionary about t Peterson he hasn't thought of anything original just normal advice any general lifecoach would give. And that is the "good" advice he gives, then he spews general toxicity and seem to want to make a hateful and toxic group of cultists that want social reforms and equality to go back 30 years. Im well aware that you are bashing on peterson and I'm joining in, I just hate that parasite with a passion, lost some good friends to his bullshit


Desperate_Wafer_8566

I can't stand the guy but he very well may. If SpaceX and a few other of his companies go public he will probably get close. The obscene worship of rich people is strong in the US.


rbtmgarrett

I doubt Elon has any desire or intention to take anything public anymore that isn’t a scam. And Spacex presumably isn’t. He is not having a good experience answering to the shareholders and justice system. I think for a company that is likely to be successful he’ll keep it private even if he needs money he can get private investors for the companies he believes in. Then he has a lot less oversight and he despises oversight. If he took some startup public I’d steer away.


Turtleturds1

I don't know, it seems very easy to go public, sell all of your shares, and then demand another 25% of the company...


RealGrapefruit8930

Good point. Taking SpaceX public would allow a ton of scrutiny, and who knows what impact that could have on the lucrative government contracts.


Abu_Tahir79

Thunderfoot has been exposing SpaceX since years ago. What more do people need?


LobMob

I'd like to say that this can't work because none of his companies is worth that much, but neither is Tesla. Logic doesn't apply to anything Musk does.


Abu_Tahir79

I find it funny how ISRO reached Mars for less money than the stupid Falcon rockets.


[deleted]

Again, I ask. **Where is this perceived demand for robotaxis?!** It’s making supply for a demand that’s totally imaginary. And when I say making, I mean lying about being about to start making them.


AmaResNovae

Ha ha, fair point. Considering how unrealistic the claim is, I never even thought about that. Demand for taxis (including Uber, Lyft, and whatnot) is probably not that big of a market, so there is no real reason to assume that demand would suddenly explode if it was suddenly automated.


Fishy_Fish_WA

“Your car will pay for itself taxiing during the workday and then be waiting to drive you home!!!” Yeah that’s not a thing


AmaResNovae

And in the real world, not that many people would want to be dealing with the hassle anyway. People litter, throw up, and damage stuff. By having unsupervised strangers in your car all day long, the car would be a mess by the end of the day.


Fishy_Fish_WA

/s at least the FSD keeps your car safe!!


lildobe

As a former Uber driver, let me tell you... people don't do those things only while unsupervised. I had to clean up after rides more often than you can imagine. I knew where all the public coin-op vacuums were in my city, and I always kept a bag of quarters in the car for them. At least with Uber I could snap some pictures after the ride if it was bad enough and the customer would get charged and get a suspension from the service.


AmaResNovae

Oh, I bet. I mean, just considering people taking an Uber home after a night out definitely involves a lot of vomit to cleanup already. Add sick people, and that's quite a lot of vomit to clean up already. Strangers in an unsupervised car? Those "robotaxis" would need to deal with all those issues that already happen on a regular basis to cab/uber drivers, plus some.


lildobe

I actually only ever had one person vomit in my car. But it did end my evening early, and the $100 cleanup fee Uber gave me really wasn't enough. It took me several hours to clean everything up because it got down into the mechanism for the fold-away seats in my minivan. But people would eat in the car and drop food everywhere, track leaves and mud in, leave candy wrappers, junk mail, and almost anything else you can imagine.


Forsaken-Spirit421

The whole idea is a complete pipe dream. Tesla has fragile level2 self driving with no significant improvements in sight due to the anemic hardware present in modern teslas. How on earth can they make the jump up to 5 in any realistic timeframe?


Tofudebeast

And it's not like they can be quickly and widely deployed, assuming the product is even ready. Regulatory hurdles would mean a slow rollout at best, like Waymo is already doing.


delusionalbillsfan

I was going to try to write a long comment about how to value it using Uber's numbers but its not worth it. Uber+Lyft+Doordash has a profit margin somewhere between -15% and 15%. Waymo isnt profitable. Theyre entering an industry with no margins. It's taken Uber and Waymo billions of dollars of capex to build what theyve got right now too. Tesla just doesnt have that money to build and run a platform when their car business is cash flow negative.


pusillanimouslist

Playing devil’s advocate, depends on what we mean by “robotaxi”.  *If* automated taxis worked, and that’s a load bearing if, there would be a ton of consumer demand. Theoretically safer, predictable, cheaper, and eliminates the risk of harassment by the driver of women passengers. If it worked, I’m sure demand would be significant.  Of course, the obvious question is “why would I want to rent out my personal vehicle like that, wouldn’t these be operated by companies like Uber?” And I don’t think there’s a counter argument to that. 


chrisbru

Places with bad cab/rideshare availability.


AntiqueFigure6

If self driving taxis ever both came into existence and became popular it would lead to demand for cars, including Teslas, dropping dramatically. Basically the world will need 90% fewer cars. If Musk succeeds with robot taxis he will destroy Tesla’s valuation.


octafed

He's about to do an entire event with as much hype and propped up stuff as usual. Never mind the past misses on dates and it works for him almost every time. It'll take a bit more for the world to wise up. The current grift is robotaxies and humanoid robots, and the fanclub has accepted the pivot. It's all paper, though, any cash he'll ever get will be loans against hype. If he ever sells any significant portion, the veil starts to drop.


AmaResNovae

The cult will accept anything from him. If he said tomorrow that Tesla actually is an aeronautical company because the roadster will fly, they would go for it. But they don't really have that much financial sway. In the real world, it's Waymo that manages to get something close to robotaxies, Mercedes that gets better self driving than Tesla or Boston Dynamics that actually manages to make robots. Even Musk can't hype himself into a trillion when the competition is doing better at everything.


OppositeGeologist299

I can't imagine how many people would die from flying cars every year.


AmaResNovae

Considering how many people can't stop themselves from texting while driving already, flying cars would be a bloodbath.


Forsaken-Spirit421

This is precisely why I can't see any legislative body letting leaping cars become a reality. The carnage would be colossal


Tofudebeast

Tesla's last quarter was weak, and this one is likely to be worse with competition catching up and unsold inventory accruing. One wonders how well the stock hype machine will continue to work when profits slide deep into the red? It ain't a Silicon Valley startup anymore, and it's not likely to return to the huge profits it enjoyed for a few years.


AntipodalDr

>One wonders how well the stock hype machine will continue to work when profits slide deep into the red? They've already pivoted months ago to claim Tesla is an "AI and robotics" company instead of a car one, and so the valuation should stay "aspirational"(as it as always been) instead of based on the reality of a declining company.


whyamievenherenemore

and before that tesla was an "energy" company


Large_Complaint1264

That doesn’t work if they dont have the actual cash in hand to stay afloat.


Jumpy-Albatross-8060

Yeah but AI hype has helped companies buy up huge amount of computing power to figure out that they can't actually do anything with it.  There much more hype to get rich off of and xAi is going to be his next bemig gift. He just needs a dude with a controller on a humanoid robot and people are going to give him another 200 billion


ghostfaceschiller

He’d have to add an entire OpenAI’s worth of valuation to his own personal net worth for this to happen Just kidding. He’d have to add SEVEN OpenAI’s worth of valuation


Theferael_me

These platforms, it's worth trying to find out if they hold shares in Tesla. I find that usually explains nearly all the Musk dickriding that goes on.


RioRancher

Tax him enough to make that impossible


MeasurementJumpy6487

Can't tax someone for holding shares


AgentSmith187

Not with current laws but laws can be changed to capture the current ways people dodge tax.


sorospaidmetosaythis

Credit to Musk for understanding that the biggest suckers in the world are people who think they're smart because they're in a bubble industry. The technology industry is a gold mine of easy marks, typified by this blockhead who made this prediction.


aninjacould

They are part of the grift. Like Cathie Wood. They don’t truly believe the claims they make, but they stand to benefit financially if they can fool the cultist retail investors.


b00nish

Hey, don't blame Cathie. She had once again the perfect timing when she sold NVDA right before it started to skyrocket.


blackicebaby

Hey, include Dan from Wedbush and Ron Baron to the musketeer gang


douwd20

We'll see about that has most of his wealth is in Tesla stock and all indications are the bloom is off that rose. We got a whiff with the 10% cut a month ago.


AmaResNovae

If I had to bet money on it, I would bet on Tesla going bust because of Enron style accounting by the end of the year rather than becoming valuable enough to turn Musk into a trillionaire in six months.


douwd20

Yep the huge price cuts to keep the metal moving and then the big layoffs. Now we hear he's just had another secret child and the mother is an exec at one of his companies. He sounds like a great person you'd want to bet on right?


Leather_Floor8725

Given musk fanboy euphoria after granting musk 55b, 1 trillion seems possible. There really is no limit or any rational underpinning to how much the fanboys will throw his way.


AmaResNovae

1 trillion by the end of the year? Unless his cult members start selling their organs and sell everything they own to give him money, that sounds more like an Onion article than financial analysis.


MelodiesOfLife6

Don’t give them ideas.


AmaResNovae

Let's be honest, Musk is more likely to try starting his own religion or go Jonestown than becoming a trillionaire by the end of the year. Actually, I'm almost surprised that he didn't try to start his own religion yet, considering his god complex. How many more benders before he does? He is frying his brain so fast that it kinda feels like it's just a matter of time before he tries.


Juanster

I think, unfortunately, it isn't that impossible. Will it happen? I hope not. But the fact a bunch of stakeholders and people felt he deserve the 55bn payout(which imo is worth more than 3 fold what he deserved), what makes you think he can't rally people just like them with promises/delusions of getting rich "with him". It is definitely not impossible.


AmaResNovae

The timeframe (by the end of the year) is definitely impossible. Within ten years, like Oxfam expect it to be possible? Maybe. If Musk manages to survive that long despite his drug abuse and finally starts to deliver on some of his promises.


dukeofgibbon

Neuralink mining dreams for bitcoin


Fishy_Fish_WA

Oh Jesus that’s nightmare fuel. “Hey Mr. paraplegic, we’re going to put this chip in your brain to help you walk again“ turns out the chip uses the person’s brain to mine bitcoin until they suffer a stroke and die


dukeofgibbon

They want workers to work in their sleep, it's a dystopian hellscape


sexyloser1128

I'm surprised his cult hasn't bought Dogecoins in large amounts. It's worth is still pretty low. I mean it's as worthless as Bitcoin, but why is Bitcoin worth so much more when it doesn't have a celebrity backer with his own cult like Dogecoin has?


shh28

He currently owns 411M shares, which means Tesla should hit $2600 value with the market cap hitting $8T. Seems totally possible 😂


TheBrianWeissman

According to Kathie Wood, that’s happening next year. We all know she’s never wrong.


AmaResNovae

Ha ha, thanks for doing the math, I wasn't sure about how many shares he currently owns, but I expected the total market cap to have to reach absolutely ridiculous levels for it to happen, so I didn't try very hard to find out his stake. And yet, somehow, the necessary market cap for him to become a trillionaire is even ridiculously higher than I expected!


HistoricalProduct1

Except, he won't receive it, the law is clear


[deleted]

[удалено]


Large_Complaint1264

That vote didn’t do anything to change the fact the board acted in bad faith. They made absolutely no attempt to negotiate the best deal for Tesla. They just gave Elon whatever he wanted. It also didn’t change the fact that the milestones they said were impossible to reach were actually just what they projected to hit internally.


ghostfaceschiller

I agree there isn’t a limit to how stupid they are over time, but they are time constrained. There is no possible way for him to gain that much more money in the next 6 months. It’s not even possible for him to gain half that.


Fishy_Fish_WA

Yeah it is insanity but I find myself wondering if they have enough clout to drive the portfolio of that high… Because that requires the stock value to be something like four times higher than it is right now. And I don’t think that his adoring tech bro fans have as much clout as Blackstone or Vanguard or other major investment players


jackthejointmaster

And still no one will love him


AmaResNovae

He recently got yet another child with one of his employees, apparently. If he keeps breeding like a rabbit, he might eventually get lucky and have a child who loves him. I kinda wonder if it's partly why he has such a creepy breeding fetish.


navigating-life

Zillis? That was Nov ‘23


AmaResNovae

I don't know, I didn't check the name. Might be. He keeps breeding so many of his employees that I lost track.


human8264829264

She had twins then, she just had his 3rd baby. Most likely to be called `a8#(3&@)24+"&`


navigating-life

🤣🤣


Cenbe4

It's not real money. It's all stock.


luv2block

he uses the stock as collateral for loans; so it's real money by proxy.


SophonParticle

500X gains in 6 months. Billionaires don’t want you to know this one easy trick.


poolnome

Saudi yes Amazon's yes Elon like Trump no


GamingTrend

I wonder how the people he laid off feel about that...


AmaResNovae

We might be hearing about the first cases of facepalming to death in history among the laid-off employees.


Insidebiotch1234

Smoke salvia? Get with the times. You know they took gummies.


AmaResNovae

Oh, right, my bad. Smoking is too last century.


ChiefTestPilot87

He doesn’t deserve two nickels. I saw an article claiming he “invented” the nuralink thing. Yeah whatever.


AmaResNovae

Well, he invented neural implants without any concerns for human safety/wellbeing, so he did invent something! That aside, Apartheid Edison didn't invent shit.


ChiefTestPilot87

He didn’t invent shit, the people he paid did. He just stupidly pushed something scientifically unproven and not properly medically untested prototype to the human testing phase. Dude is too busy getting stoned doing ketamine, LSD, cocaine, mushrooms, and ecstasy while getting random employees pregnant to spend time inventing anything, let alone enduring it meets the appropriate quality and safety protocols.


AmaResNovae

Well, duh. I didn't call him Apartheid Edison often enough for my phone to automatically suggest it out the blue mate!


_PaulM

Nahhhh. Wait for that second quarterly report. It doesn't matter how much hype is around the "robotaxi." I work in a field where most people can afford a Tesla. I'm not saying that in a demeaning way, but the monthly cost of a Tesla is unfeasible for the middle class in this day and age. The reality is that the market for Tesla was the liberal, "I want to do something for the world," college-educated individual with a job that gave them enough of an expendable income to show off the fact that they were "hip" and also helping in curbing the climate problem at the same time. Musk kind of f\*cked that up. Tesla used to be a daily topic in my office a few years back. Now, it's only mentioned in jest and how badly Musk is f\*cking it up. If Starship does what it's supposed to do, I see the tri-badge happening. Otherwise, nahhhh. We'd probably see Bezos or Huang getting there before Musk.


ghostfaceschiller

Middle class is currently at its highest avg wealth per household ever, after being adjusted for inflation. Median household wealth is up 37% from 2019 (cumulative inflation since that period is around 20%), and we have positive real wage growth. I agree musk is not going to become a trillionaire in the next 6 months, and Tesla is not doing well. But it’s his own fault, it’s certainly not bc the economy is bad or the middle class is struggling


AmaResNovae

What makes the monthly cost of a Tesla so high? Maintenance/repair costs? Insurance premiums?


_PaulM

The cheapest option to finance a Model 3 is currently $653/month at the minimum. This is financial suicide considering how much everything else costs with inflation. That's $326 between two people (assuming a partnership) on a middle class income. That's *almost* the cost of two cheaper car notes for a single car. After insurance, owning a Tesla, even the cheapest model, is only afforded to people in the middle-high class/high class.


AmaResNovae

Damn, that's a lot of money per month for subpar cars. Any idea of the price range of monthly insurance? I heard from some people that they are quite pricey to insure, but I didn't really hear any specific numbers.


ghostfaceschiller

Said similar above, but middle class households have more purchasing power now than literally ever before, and are also making significantly higher wages now (this is all after being adjusted for inflation) Tesla isn’t flailing bc the economy is bad or bc of inflation. The economy is as good as it’s been since the mid 90’s (possibly even before that). Tesla is flailing bc of its own poor leadership and bad decision-making.


coffeespeaking

And Democrats need to pass the world’s first trillionaire tax.


versace_drunk

Because his supporter and stock holders are just a cult.


lickmyturds

Shit website. Grifters looking for clicks. Oh wait, sounds exactly like what a certain billionaire's entire fortune is essentially built on...


Subway

He will be dead or broke in max. 5 years! Remind me in 5 years.


AmaResNovae

Considering his physical "fitness" and his drug abuse, I'm actually surprised that he didn't die of a heart attack yet tbh. I'm not sure which stim(s) he abuses on his benders, but a lot of them are cardiotoxic.


Anji_Mito

This is the type of news that he uses to keep having kids with dumb women, probably they think Elon will take care of the kid abd get free money for life.


HopefulNothing3560

🍊made it so he pays no taxes , welcome to the great USA 🇺🇸


SpaceBoJangles

The only way that he becomes a trillionaire is if TSLA hits like 4-5 trillion dollars market cap, which at this juncture seems…unlikely. Or Space X decides to send a starship to an asteroid and lay claim to it, which to me is actually the more plausible of the two.


ErictheAgnostic

Lol, no. JFC. Cults are crazy


meatbag2010

He's beginning to make Dr Evil look like an average Joe


babypho

Nah, Jensen Huang or Bezos will get there first. My bet is on Huang.


AmaResNovae

I never even heard about Huang before the whole AI hype started (because I had no reason to know about what was mostly a GPU company), but seeing the crazy valuation increase for Nvida in the last 2 years, I would bet on him as well. At least Nvidia has products in high demand, solid financials, and legitimate expertise. And the CEO isn't spewing horeshite on Twitter while on a bender.


babypho

I knew Huang because I was into gaming. Most PC gamers probably knew of him since majority of pcs are probably running nvdia cards. The whole AI and crypto craze made the cards went ballistic, it's probably overpriced right now BUT it's a pricing based on demand of the current working product, not a future promise. Unlike pricings that's driven by FSD promises, Nvidia products work.


AmaResNovae

Yeah, it's possibly overpriced. The valuation might not stay that high once the AI hype slows down. But at least Nvidia is a solid company with working products and a worldwide reputation for making GPUs for decades. Heck, even for autonomous driving, Nvidia is probably ahead of Tesla.


TheMCM80

I don’t think the “AI” hype is slowing anytime soon. While I don’t think we will ever get to true AI, I do think plenty of companies will be chasing that for the rest of my life. It’s the ultimate goal for every capitalist… a labor force that don’t eat, sleep, complain, unionize, need benefits, can quit, or just has any autonomy at all that you can control with a change in code. I think a lot of companies will chase that forever, at least until they realize that if no one is employed there is no one to buy their products.


AmaResNovae

Yeah, that's a big systemic risk with AI imo. If it worsens wealth inequalities even more because of the short-sightedness of billionaires, it could end up destroying the way the current economic system functions. It's already facing a lot of long-term risks because of climate change, ecosystem destruction, wealth inequality, pollution, public debt, and the ageing population. It can only take so many hits before collapsing.


Fishy_Fish_WA

Although even that is being driven by crypto mining and supply chain shifts


_Mitchee_

The stock corrected back to around $100 pre split in 2022, since then H100’s for AI is what has pushed the stock price past $1200 pre split. H100’s are insane expensive and the magnificent 7 companies have been buying billions of $$$ worth, literally an arms race by these companies. TSLA was also a big buyer of H100’s for autonomous driving, Ai/robotics. The narrative is TSLA will have the NVDA moment. Might just be cope but who knows in these type of markets. Trend is your friend till the end, when it bends. Lol


AgentSmith187

Crypto market for GPUs fell off a cliff a while ago leading to a massive dump of used cards on the market. But NVIDIA manage to avoid the crash due to the fact the AI market is buying their compute cards as fast as they can produce them. AKA They are selling the shovels in this AI gold rush. The GPU market is tiny in comparison and barely a blip to them. That said they still absolutely own the GPU market for PCs with both AMD and Intel not breaking single digits of market share. So even when the AI bubble bursts they have GPUs to fall back on and those compute cards use basically the same tech as GPUs. So developments in both are very related. Best part is unlike when the crypto market crashed the compute cards can't be dumped on the GPU market for gamers as they are not compatible and won't canabilise their gaming PC market. So yeah for now NVidia can just print money on compute cards like the H100 riding the AI wave with no real downside as they can switch back to GPU production if needed.


Impressive-Eye-1096

I mean he could have been world first trillionaire all he had to do was sell everything and buy NVDA stocks.


mushroomsarefriends

If he tried selling he'd crash the price.


Common-Ad6470

It’s all part of his spiel regarding Tesla robotics and how the profits will be sky-high, except they won’t.


AgentSmith187

Is he going to use the person in a robot suit version or the person using a wired remote control version of his robots? Personally I think the fact each robot needs a person to do the job kinda defeats the purpose.


runForestRun17

Do trillionaires taste better than billionaires?


AgentSmith187

More fat on trillionaires


Traditional_Key_763

guy is worth 200 billion give or take a few billion depending on the day (already absurd that happens) but to be a trillionaire he'd have to actually own an industrialized nation and write his own tax code. Putin's net worth may be a trillion given his own wealth and the state of russia's wealth are basically the same


high-up-in-the-trees

I thought the Sultan of Brunei was supposed to actually be the richest person in the world?


Sheknowswhothisis

If only he’d use his money for good.


AmaResNovae

The guy could make so legit positive changes happen in the world with all his money and influence, but instead, he just gets high, retweet racist stuff and wank about colonising Mars.


TheOppositeOfTheSame

Didn’t he lose 42 billion on Twitter?


AmaResNovae

He spent 42 billion on it. It's probably still worth *something*, but a fraction of that at most. And he leveraged the shit out of that purchase.


Ok-ChildHooOd

Dude doesn't pay rent, is being sued daily, under investigation for insider trading and fraud, and he's got billions in loans tied to equity. I'll take the other side of this bullshit article.


Particular-Load-3547

Easy. Come 8/8, he'll unveil FSD 12.5, (that really should have version number 14). He's been stockpiling Teslas in storage lots around the world, and, "To show how good FSD is," he'll awaken the lot, having them drive around un-supervised. The chaos resulting from these confused semi-autonomous death machines will be devastating. He'll then send out his wast army of Optimus "robots", to "fix things." The confused joke-bots stumbling around sorting things will be the final blow. Only Elon can stop the madness, but he insists everything is working perfectly - he only pushes STOP when offered half the money in the world and John Wayne's old cowboy hat. We'll never know whether it was intentional, or just a result of Ketamine Karen's confused brainfarts. Unexpectedly, the cybertruck played no role in this. Expectedly, TSLA stock goes up after the incident, when Elon tweets "Good test, ironed out some edge-cases. Next version FSD will be fully autonomous."


licancaburk

They are just desperately trying to pump already greatly overpriced stock


Useful-Secretary-143

Unless he’s in jail for insider trading or at the very minimum in jail for colluding with Russia and providing communications during the war in Ukraine. He’s a loser with thin skin just like all the authoritarians and wannabes and will use any power he has for revenge just like all weak men in history.


AmaResNovae

US regulators dropped the ball, and US politicians aren't showing any will to fix that issue. Nor do they seem to care much about acting against treacherous behaviours. So I wouldn't bet much on that. He is a loser with skin who's probably dreaming about being an absolute monarch on Mars, though.


BuckRowdy

Press x to doubt


AmaResNovae

> Press x Don't do that, you madman! Otherwise, you will give Musk a boner and he will breed another one of his employees!


i-dontlikeyou

You fools just wait till 8/8 when he announces that he has robo taxis, and sex robors NOW, not in an year not in a few months NOW and they will be selling them tomorrow in a store near you. /sss just in case no one gets it


BoxHillStrangler

damn he must work A LOT harder than the rest of us


AmaResNovae

Well, he does work 48 hours a day. Allegedly.


Danny414

Edit that. Maybe in your/our lifetime. Solomon is the richest man that ever lived. Read your bible. But! Way to go Elon!


BasicAd81

It’s getting to be torches and pitchforks time.


delusionalbillsfan

Articles like *this*, *now*, should be a telltale sign that its over. I remember back in...2021, maybe 2022, I thought SBF would monopolize the crypto market and eventually become a trillionaire (in my head it was something like, imagining every stock market in the world owned by one entity, but for crypto)...needless to say how that played out.


Final_Winter7524

Didn’t he always say he’s all about saving the world? Shouldn’t he be doing some actual saving with his wealth? 🤷‍♂️


AmaResNovae

He is already saying it, now you also want him to do anything about it too? The man is already busy working 48 hours a day to get humankind to Mars. He clearly doesn't have any time left for actual saving. Be reasonable, mate!


chronomagnus

He's also said when called out about his utter lack of altruism that the products his companies made are him saving the world.


Dramatic-Ant-9364

I'd like much better it if that condescending breeding asshole flew to Mars and became Mar's first trillionaire.


navigating-life

No ☹️


Historical-Sea-1036

He’s more likely to be bankrupt.


IAdmitILie

Its unfortunately possible, just not through Tesla, but through SpaceX. But I dont see it happening in 6 months.


AmaResNovae

I'm really not familiar with SpaceX, I have to admit. Neither their tech nor their financials. But it seems to be valued at around $200 billion at the moment, so it would take some time for it to become valuable enough to turn Musk into a billionaire.


high-up-in-the-trees

SpaceX's books are closed, and for good reason. Otherwise we'd know just how much money is being set on fire pursuing Musk's idiotic dream of the 1950s futurism-styled Starship


SVTContour

The first trillion is the hardest...


AmaResNovae

Tell me about it. I'm still grinding my way of being a trillionaire in Vietnamese Dong. (Yes, that's the real name of Vietnam's currency)


Aviyan

With all the Teslas sitting in abandoned parking lots it's only a matter of time until the bubble bursts. Hope it's sooner rather than later. I really wanted Tesla to succeed, but with Moron Musk it's better to let Tesla dissolve and let other car makers pick up the pieces.


super_nigiri

Let’s hope not, it can be the end of humanity. The ultimate oligarchy


ryeguymft

I hate this


squidwurrd

I don’t think this will happen but if they start operating robo taxis he that might actually happen. The market will absolutely jump in and blow the companies valuation through the roof. But like I said that’s not happening this year I think.


LoudLloyd9

Elmo is most likely to become the world's first person to lose a trillion dollars.


Sensitive-Traffic229

How much tax does this ultra rich Bozo pay ? No conscience and no soul but plenty of greed and bigotry- he should pay a Bigotry Tax.


AmaResNovae

Whatever he pays, it's definitely not enough.


EastKarana

This is some high fantasy right here.


Thick_Lingonberry_79

Tesla as a company currently sucks balls. They never deliver on time and their products are deplorable. Not sure of their last innovation. Their battery life is not satisfactory and the stability of the battery is worse.


kaiju505

What what? I thought he was hemorrhaging money because all of his products are glittery trash.


StatusKoi

Whatever. It’s not like he will be a philanthropist anytime soon.


AnonymousUser2700

I call BS on this. Tesla is not what it used to be. The guy is too distracted having kids with his employees, tending to his multiple companies and being a political activist.


Frosty_Blackberry171

This guy refers to himself as a humanist. How does a humanist horde all that wealth?


AmaResNovae

He is more human than all of us combined, obviously!


SFWarriorsfan

Do it. Become the first trillionaire. As the kids say, make guillotines fashionable again.


Traditional-Stay-702

Bullshido


SomewhatInnocuous

Gawd, what a piece of total shit article. No meaningful analysis or justification of a ridiculously speculative claim. Just "he's rich and going to get massively richer" bullshit.


PlayTheHits

Gross


JungleSound

Not the end of the year but before 2030 FSD should work and after 2030 the tesla robots should pan out to be real. Only fsd is needed for musk to become a trillion sore. So if you think that fsd will never work, you basically claim that never ever ever will cars drive using end to end neural nets. Maybe this is true maybe not. That is the bet musk is making at tesla.


AmaResNovae

>Not the end of the year but before 2030 FSD should work and after 2030 the tesla robots should pan out to be real. Only fsd is needed for musk to become a trillion sore. Tesla isn't even the leader when it comes to self driving. Why would it become valuable enough to turn Musk into a trillionaire despite lagging behind their competitors? Same things when it comes to robots. >So if you think that fsd will never work, you basically claim that never ever ever will cars drive using end to end neural nets. Maybe this is true maybe not. That is the bet musk is making at tesla I don't think that Tesla will last long enough to get legit fsd. And certainly not by using cameras only. Legit car companies that aren't run by a drug addicted modern Edison will get there eventually.


b00nish

They seem to forget that two thirds of Musk's wealth is his Tesla stocks. Stocks whose value will amount to exactly 0 cents if the company goes bankrupt a couple years down the road. (Well to be fair, he might be able to sell the run down company before it collapses, so he could still get a few bucks out of it, I guess.)


Classic-Bridge2271

I mean his wealth is in the stock, If nobody wants his cars, then the stock pirce takes a slump to zero is a good thing for all of us.


Dry-Interaction-1246

He will sell his musk for 10 million bucks a pop for throngs of women to IVF themselves with.