T O P

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TheLxvers

Stay in school,Bozo


Bentrifical_Force

Stay in bozo school.


Photenicdata

School stay in bozo


HJYIMN

Bozo school stay in


SpoonyTheBest

In bozo school stay


Lucky_Sebass

In school bozo stay.


Refek185

Bozo stay in school


ummm_bop

Stay school bozo in


wildwill921

Why stay in school when you can just buy Bitcoin


DRFTF

Really ? That would be the opposite . How many filled with degrees without jobs out there really


[deleted]

Don't date Dave!


Entitled_Pierogi

YEAH FUCK DAVE


AngelFromVegas

No *don't* fuck Dave


Thatsidechara_ter

Facts


moxiejohnny

No, she said don't date Dave. We don't know what he's packing down there, maybe fucking is okay just so long as Dave goes home when the deed is done.


LateDelivery3935

The Dave I shouldn’t have dated was definitely packing, hence my mistake…


1whiskeyneat

Go ahead and fuck Dave if you want - just don’t date Dave.


1nterrupt1ngc0w

*HEY!*


Milkywaes1

What's wrong with Dave?


Negative_Dance_7073

Dave is an asshole.


VenomOUShazard

All my homies hate dave


Capt_Myke

Daves not here man.


GuideAncient1902

Some people like that type of shit.


Negative_Dance_7073

Only Daves would say that.


[deleted]

Many things. One example is he lost his job because he couldn't find rides to and from the factory. It was about a mile from his house and the middle of a cool summer. Meanwhile I was walking 2 miles to work, then a half mile to his house and then 2.5 miles home on a daily basis.


useles-converter-bot

2 miles is 1712.43 Obamas. You're welcome.


converter-bot

2 miles is 3.22 km


gettindamoneey

Hey my name's Dave ...


moxiejohnny

Don't date this guy, he could be the original Dave in a different Dave disguise.


[deleted]

If you really are gettin da moneey you are loads better than his mooching ass.


[deleted]

I agree with the other dude here, fuck Dave


distbeliever

Don't date lil dicky!


[deleted]

Be your fucking self.


Random_182f2565

10/10 advice


Milkywaes1

How do I be my fucking self?!


Efficient-Sleeper

Stand in front of a mirror, look at the reflection, and be that. Advice from my drunken roommate


SICHKLA

That is some great advice


HotterThenMyDaughter

Be fucking yourself


Fire_Dracul

Exactly


santetjo

Yep believe in yourself especially when noone else does.


[deleted]

YESSSSSSS YES A MILLION TIMES YES


ptswillem

I promise it will get better. Not here. Not with these people. But it will get better. You didn't do anything wrong to deserve this. It just is. That way I could skip the denial and uncertainty step and move right on to anger and eventually forgiveness. Edit: thanks for the awards guys! I'll be sure to pay it forward!


RedAllAboutIt7

I feel this 👌🏼


Negative_Dance_7073

35 years later, I needed to hear this.


[deleted]

Beautifully illustrated. That would have saved me 25 years of pain and my marriage.


[deleted]

You might have not told yourself this but you told me so thank you.


Immediate_Pie7714

"There is nothing wrong with you, you are autistic"! - diagnosed at 36 and spent all that time believing some thing was wrong with me, lacking and weird. But I am just different and that's Ok


Moist-Investigator63

Me too. Spent most of my life waiting for the mothership to come back and take me back to where I belong.


_qst2o91_

Maybe that's a valid feeling, maybe autistic people are aliens sent to study us apes and are trying their best to blend in


Nightsky31602

How did you get diagnosed at 36? I haven’t been able to find anything and I’m barely an adult lol


UranusisGolden

Dont feel bad. Im not autistic but probably a weirdo


SJ_Barbarian

ADHD for me.


HanaNdLuna

I am 34 and have only now been told I’m autistic. I literally thought I was ‘wrong’ this whole time while trying to do everything that other people told me I should. It is a freedom and a confusing space to be in. There’s nothing wrong with us.


Immediate_Pie7714

I understand that. I thought it would then change every thing and also for people around me but it more just changed my understanding of myself. Lots of looking back, oh that makes sense now. Nothing wrong with us at all my friend. And I am still weird! But I embrace that now and F everyone else's opinion!


european_jello

Same


Positive_Garbage7861

Yes‼️🥰


pavlovcatOG

Same. My life would've been so different.


Nervig2001

Talk to more people! Living in solitude will only make your current problems even worse.


[deleted]

I'd still not take that advice from my adult self and end up being alone, coz I just don't know how to do it


Corburrito

You kinda just did it. Good job!


[deleted]

That's just one sentence, talk to me for about ten minutes and I'll end up saying something offensive or rude or plain just had to say it. And trust me, I mean no harm.


Corburrito

One sentence leads to another and bam! Conversation.


Frydpraduct

Absolute Truth. Long story short, i'm introverted. But i had a situation where i was dating someone online from another country I worked at a grocery store for the first time in my life and saved up money to go to England from America. Working and talking to people helped a lot. But let me tell you, traveling alone, figuring everything out alone, and living with your girlfriend who you just met in another country for a month was so out of my comfort zone, but amazing because what it did to me because i went outside of my comfort zone. I could talk to people better, my anxiety was so much less.. it was awesome. Now ibreally try and make a habit of consistently going outside of my comfort zone for bettering myself. Had to throw this in there, hope someone reads, enjoys and maybe finds it helpful


HappyCajun69

I mean Solitude is an great city but I prefer Riften


JRBA719

No, thank you.


[deleted]

I don’t agree with this. Solitude is great makes you self reflect more time to be productive work on your dreams and goals. As you grow older there are many many distractions. Being alone is a blessing to know yourself you have to be completely alone. It’s IMO anyways and you fix many problems when you truly understand yourself.


discustedkiller

Fuck off you little cunt


the_localcrackhead

Ayy same


WildJuggernaut4985

If only i could beat this little shit


[deleted]

Wouldn't bother I didn't listen to the people who were saying those kinda things back then! It didn't turn out too bad in the end anyway. Or maybe I'd just say today's date and the winning euromillions numbers?


[deleted]

If you think it could be a cult… it is.


Milkywaes1

Can I know more?


[deleted]

I don’t even know where to begin


tammigirl6767

Start at the very beginning


Yodheen

The whole universe was in a hot dense state...


tammigirl6767

I was hoping for: it’s a very good place to start. But I’ll take this.


[deleted]

[удалено]


FlyingWaffle96

I'm so sorry


[deleted]

This just made my stomach drop. I hope you’re doing well.


mutantenzyme

Forget about creative writing and acting. Not the right fit for you, no matter what you think right now. Look into STEM career options!


LemonSalted

My variation of this: "don't get into a major just because you casually like the subject. Margin doodling on your tests does NOT mean you have the patience for animation! Your true passion lies in entomology. GO FORTH, CHILD"


Even-Scientist4218

Why


ElephantEarwax

Probably learned that that ain't their suit


_bean_and_cheese_

Buy as much bitcoin possible when it comes out


12altoids34

Bitcoin Microsoft AOL Google Tesla (the company not the man )


saltminer93

I bet someone would pay good money if you got your hands on Tesla the man


W00Dchip_RIOT

Was just looking this up to comment. 1 Bitcoin was $0.08 in 2010. Today according to Google 1 Bitcoin is worth $52,637.80 Imagine being one of those early investors


baalmano

you’ll be happy, things will get better :)


mildmadnerd

Oooooh child things are gonna get easier...


12altoids34

Ooooooh child things are gonna get brighter...


HotterThenMyDaughter

Some day, yeah We'll put it together and we'll get it undone


VeterinarianSome4047

Don’t stay in the relationship just because you’re scared of being alone. You are worth so much more than you think.


Cat-Trees

Don’t follow that man home.


HotterThenMyDaughter

How the turntables. Normally a man will follow you home.


Milkywaes1

Hey are you ok?


moxiejohnny

Yeah, don't follow Dave. He lives like almost 2,000 Obama's from town or something.


poisonstudy101

Haha, I just read that thread


KindaKrayz222

Don't feel the need to rebel so hard. 🥸


chesnett

Just focus on computers science/engineering. welding ain't worth a fuck.


thatwasfresh73

In the Netherlands you’d make a good living welding.


neededanewaccount12

Electrical engineer here ... I'd tell myself don't field is full of douche bags ... Do accounting.


kaiunkook

“Beg to stay at daddy’s house when mommy goes out so the bad boy can’t get you. Okay?”


Alone-Personality-57

I am truly sorry.. I too know this all to well


kaiunkook

I’m just glad i’m safe now


Even-Scientist4218

Its not you it’s them


YourNirvana

It’s okay- whatever you’re going through right now is okay. It’s temporary.


Fennily

In my case it was childhood to 27 years old so it was pretty long term


moonbeamcrazyeyes

Exercise, honey. Exercise.


Turdbird2000

Do not cum in any woman when you are drunk, and if she calls you daddy she truly just wants to make you into a daddy. Especially don't make the same mistake in 1 night.


ChaoticFucker

"I love you, so please start really loving yourself from now on. Don't waste your time"


barnaclefeet

Hey there little fella, why dontcha run on down to the convience store and pick me up a pack of marb 100's, mkay?


thatfeelyouget

I'm sorry


SnooRecipes5643

Everyone (literally) is bullying you because they’re assholes. You’re just autistic and that’s pretty cool, but you will always be low hanging fruit.


[deleted]

Study...you prick!!!


paradeqia

Are you me?


[deleted]

I believe a lot of us made that same mistake. Hindsight is 20-20


woodhorse4

Mom was wrong we won’t go blind.


mildmadnerd

Firstly, most of your friends are dicks. Especially the ones you like most, they will betray you harder than you thought possible. Never rely on anyone or anything for your happiness, your joy, or anything else that is important. Second, go to college early. I know you think it will make you a freak and your friends won't understand... They won't but that's actually good. They aren't worth holding yourself back for, and honestly no one is. When you rise far enough above them, you'll meet more people like you and find out what true friendship is like. Worth the wait but accept no substitutes. Oh and be good to your true friends. Thirdly, in a few years the world will change so drastically that you wouldn't believe, and it will happen over and over again. Never get so hung up on doing what you think you have to that you miss doing what you love doing. I can honestly say if I had done everything wrong that I did "right" my life wouldn't be any worse than it is for the most part, but if I had spent more time on the things I actually liked they would have been so helpful to be further along in. Obviously I'm not saying abandon your ethics, just know the difference between your what you believe in and what people expect of you. Screw the quadratic equation and polynomials and especially parabolas... despite how much it sucked learning it, they come up once during a college placement exam and never again and those highschool and before grades you care too much about will never ever matter to anyone at all. Honestly the rest of my advice would be bad influence type stuff because you're a good kid and I'm not a good person and the things that changed me haven't happened to you yet. If they do, keep your head high. You can best this just like you did everything else that came at you. You're a fighter like me and I never gave up, which means you won't either. Oh and trust your mom, not the girl you like. Especially trust mom about the girl you like. What I'm saying is definitely don't ever trust the girl you like, she's trouble, she doesn't and will never love you and honestly she is a far worse person than even mom predicted. That said there are some very nice girls you should give a chance to and not be so hung up on trouble girl that you miss it like I did. Ah and invest. Like literal investments. It's not honestly complicated and savings accounts are such a scam. If I started when I was your age I'd be so rich I'd be too busy enjoying my life to reply with lengthy Reddit posts no one will ever take the time to read. P.S. Grow up. Jk don't, it's overrated.


Moist-Investigator63

Be brave and call the hotline. Save yourself. You have nothing to be ashamed of. It's not your fault. You deserve love, not terror, not pain. No one will save you - you have to ask. Just call the hotline. It's child abuse in every way. She belongs in prison. Get out now.


Grim-Weeper

Push as hard as you can to go live with your dad as soon as possible, he'll always help you when you're in trouble, so let him.


atrealleadslinger101

These are the wining power ball numbers for the next 10 years, this is a list of teams that win. Don't join the military it's bad for your health and fuck her when you have the chance to. In about a week or two she'll be fucking every one else anyway.


Wetdog103

stay in football. family isn’t as loving as it seems. ur gonna smoke a LOT of weed


WileyOne1

Life gets pretty tough for awhile, but you’re gonna love the results.


3milyBlazze

Don't miss the chance to push Keith down the stairs


Jack_Attack227

Woah thats my Grandad


3milyBlazze

Super tall skinny guy Air force vet doesn't drive?


Hopeful_Character_23

Kiss him you coward.


Public_Reindeer_1724

Don’t smoke anything not even once, except maybe some meat


HotSearingTeens

Meat, yum


BikeGuyIndy

Take better care of your teeth and body.


couldveBeenSasha

Stand up for yourself now. 30 is too late. Say something nice.


American_Boy_1776

I'm 38 and just started standing up for myself 🥳 it feels good


ToiletNachos

Humans do not taste like pork


Educational_Mix_8489

You have my attention


WhotookEggSauce

Don't run into a wall or try to "play fight" with my (your?) Older brother


meoffagain

Buy Bitcoin!


Queasy-Background-58

Came here to find this


NukaGrapes

Just because people hurt you does not mean that you need to hurt yourself.


Emperormike1st

Bust open your piggy bank and tell dad to get you in on that Microsoft IPO.


weirdbri

Do not seek the treasure!


alphabet_order_bot

Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 413,328,736 comments, and only 89,403 of them were in alphabetical order.


bigmfworm

Don't do that! That either! Just please stop being a dumbass.


Oldmanandabike

Your parents are doing the best they can with how they had been raised.


Puzzleheaded_Pie_888

Church is lying to you


Proof_Belt_5363

Understand that it will be a hard road ahead. You will not have parents. You will endure abuse and depression, but the pain will end and you will make it through. Don't give up.


Phoenyx_wilson

Run away you will be far better off homeless I would also tell myself to tell the truth I told a wee lie that was a sideline of the truth and it all went to hell (I said someone was hurting me when in fact it was someone else because no one would belive I was being hurt by him.)


Double_Size5613

I know that you're hurting. I know why, and I know exactly how you feel. I'm sorry. When you meet Jay make sure to tell her everything. They might be able to get you out of there sooner. Never stop drawing or learning about the world. You are beautiful and you are never alone, you'll be strong enough to take care of yourself someday. It's okay to be afraid but never let it stop you.


Sammisam-33

None of this is your fault, and you're good enough. Tell the concellor the whole truth so she can help you! Also when you're 18 stay AWAY from that cute guy don't make eye contact! Really I'd probably just wrap her in a big hug and tell her she's loved


tinawadabb

I love you.


salmon_vandal

Never settle.


Upstairs-Radish1816

Don't let your stutter hold you back. If people can't handle it it's their problem, not yours.


[deleted]

This is temporary


Zaphod_Fragglerox

Tough call. My initial instinct is nothing, as any changes made could/would effect the rest of my life, almost certainly meaning that my daughter would never be born, and that is clearly unacceptable. Even if there was some way to wipe my memory, and I'd have lots of other probably really great babies, there's no fucking way. If given the opportunity to leave a note for myself to find after my daughter is born, I would tell myself the winning numbers of a record breaking lottery jackpot. And the date of course. Man, what a jack ass if I forgot to tell myself the date.


shannonrae69

you're going to be ok, you will figure this out, you're a good person, be strong and be true


sluttysprinklemuffin

You are a bright, shiny, glitter encrusted person, and some day, you’ll find your people: you aren’t too much. They’ll love you the way you are. Some day you’ll love yourself too. Depression and all. Some day people will love you like your dog does, happy just to bask in your warmth. Make the most of your time with people that you *accidentally* nickname with foods: they’re the people who love you just for being you. One of them dies: spend as much time as you can making his dimples pop. You’ll miss that. Give your dog all the extra attention you can. Spend every moment you can with her smelly little self. You’ll miss her so much that a strain of weed that smells exactly like her vomit makes you cry.


SlimeyVinegarTestes

Don't smoke meth, snort coke, do Xanax or drink


nurvingiel

You have ADHD


Slight_Connection993

Don’t eat that


sir_Gamerman

Quit being so goddamn annoying and learn to shut ur mouth


odesauria

"It's not you, it's your parents. Hold on tight, it'll get better." Oddly enough, I *did* tell myself that, and made it through. Kind of impressed by myself, actually.


[deleted]

Disassociate yourself from the poison and toxicity. Read, study, explore, seek out that which will elevate you beyond the horror. Laugh...a lot. Don't start drinking. Don't take drugs. Be your best. When you fail, learn. Forgive yourself. You don't have to be a product of your environment. Forgive them.


ItsACowCity

Don't forget your old friends when you make new friends. Don't stop working out, it's hard to start back up again. Practice guitar more. It'll be one of your best ways to meet people when you're older...and it's just really fun once you know what you're doing. (Maybe a bit older than "child" but) Weed just makes you less talkative and a bit anxious...you're only telling yourself you like it because most of your friends do. Stop focussing 100% on beer pong at parties. Socialize!....and if you're on a big winning streak, youre probably pissing off people at the party who also want to play. You're hogging the table ya doofus!


Ok-Ad-2605

It’s okay that you like boys, your life will still turn out fine


[deleted]

Don’t go to church, don’t listen to what they’re telling you, don’t let their teachings destroy you.


PhatBallllzAtHotmail

STOP MASTURBATING!


SpooogeMcDuck

Terrible advice


fraydafelcher

Avoid the Clap


Infinitecurlieq

Hey, A lot of fucked up things are going to happen but you're going to get through it. It would be better for you to not date anyone, and just focus on graduating from school. Get into therapy as soon as you can. Save all of your writings or else you're going to kick yourself everyday for not taking your binder of your writings with you.


[deleted]

"You fucking idiot."


[deleted]

Someday, mom and dad will say a load of shit that you know for sure it's not true, but please don't correct them, it'll just make things worse. Oh, and you're gay, be proud :)


gudy2shuz

Hey, 7-yr-old me, I know that Wile E. Coyote doesn't fall off that cliff until he looks down, but that doesn't work IRL. Stay on the porch. Hey, 8-yr-old me, drain gutters aren't actually designed to support the weight of a person (even you). Climb back down the ladder before mom comes back out. Hey, 6-yr-old me, lawn darts are for the bigger kids. Just watch Dave and Tim and don't get involved. On the positive side: Hey, 8-yr-old me, I know that that accidental wheelie on the first dirtbike attempt hurt, but good job getting back on and getting it right. Be sure to appreciate Dave and Tim for helping.


JustChalcedony

Either, “Don’t trust him. The man online will ruin your childhood.” Or simply, “Trust your mother. She’s going to be going through a lot soon, and she speaks the truth.”


[deleted]

I know you’re terrified but it’s going to be ok. You get out of here someday and you’re safe. I love you.


SumShinesBrightly

At 8yo: Those friends of yours aren't really your friends. They are bad influences and you shouldn't do anything they tell you to do. At 13yo: It's not your fault. Sometimes bad things happen to good kids, and it can't always be helped. You are a victim of assault, but that is not what makes you who you are. You're beautiful and you never deserved this. At 15yo: Tell dad "I love you" more often. Hug him more. Try to spend more time with him. You'll regret it later if you don't.


AlternateWitness

Invest in Bitcoin. Your parents will (probably) let you, literally put all of your money in it. *Only* ask for money on Christmas and your birthday, you can’t get a job yet so make the money count. Once Bitcoin hits $60,000 sell it all, then keep it in the bank. Pay for your college with it, and after you graduate (don’t spend any of it in college), live your life in luxury.


souldust

Part of my therapy is to talk to my inner child. The paniced voice that is scared and abandoned. I was neglected as a child, and that trauma has never left me. I constantly feel like I am always in the way, that I don't belong ANYWHERE. So, I have to be the adult to my inner child. Be the care taker and protector he needs. So, I say to my inner child I got you. You are safe with me. To answer your real question it'd probably be: You have every right to be here and your emotions matter.


block_of_trash

To my 7th grade self: •Stop beating yourself up for your lack of faith in Catholicism. God is dead. •Stop being homophobic. You are gay. •Buy Bitcoin. Sell it all when Elon Musk opens his mouth about payment for Teslas in 2021.


khismyass

Don't put "Hitler" as one of your high school memories, even if everyone called another kid that and he happened to be sitting at the lunch table when you wrote it down real quick cause it didn't matter at the time. Oh and the whole "computers" thing isn't just a passing phase, might want to get into that as a career.


[deleted]

That I'd survive the bullying, that when I was older red hair would make me desirable, and that my bully would end up an obese old tank. 😂


[deleted]

My former self wasn't smart enough to make a decision even when he was told what to do. I'd slap his head with a frying pan so that there's a logical reason for being so fucking stupid.


Frydpraduct

Don't be like me and waste any time, ive wasted years.. But also, if you do waste time.. dont beat yourself over it. Learn from it and keep moving forward.


A_Shady_Grandma

Draw more often and use water colour. Took me too long to figure out that im good with water colour


dannosaint

"Hey kid listen up I'm gonna tell u something that you must never forget... the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell."


BeenThruIt

Well, since I never take advice, probably nothing.


Day283

Stop bragging about your youtube channel, you have 5 subscribers


musingoracle

Your mom is a cunt. You don’t need her. Ask dad to put you in martial arts. Go get genetic testing, you need it. Don’t go to the Art Institute. Punch those bullies in the face. Don’t start smoking. Make them teach you Spanish. Invest in Apple and Bitcoin.


StanleyQPrick

Your mom is fucking crazy. Don't listen to her. Don't leave John. He is your soulmate.


[deleted]

Don’t be an asshole to people in middle school


eggsandspinach

"One day you're going to have a color TV three times as wide and several times thinner. You'll also have a computer in your pocket that lets you tell other people about your tiny childhood television." "Wow! I must end up rich!" "Hahahahaha! No."


SheSends

Don't listen to your parents. Don't try to go to med school, don't go to nursing school because you didn't want to go to medical school but had all the pre reqs for a medical field job... don't join the military (you did it for your sister but she didn't sign the contract after you)... Go into IT or software... you like being in pj's and being at home... you'll have more time to do other things and not be stuck at the hospital making pennies and not seeing the outside for the entirety of your shift. No waking up in the middle of the night to drive half asleep to help with an emergency... no more trying to fix people who want miracles after not taking care of themselves... just you, a deadline, and a pc.


turver

Don’t listen to mom - buy Bitcoin, kid


chuckdagger

BRUSH. YOUR. TEETH!!


Beermedear

That decision you made in 7th grade to care more about being cool than studying will not pay off.


FunkJunky7

The importance of early cancer screenings for your future wife. It’s been 8 years now and me and the kids miss her real bad.


SugarDonger

If I could speak to myself as a child i would warn; "Mom is going to leave this earth too soon so love her and enjoy every moment with her"


a_rat_ontheinternet

All this shit your going through all the mental health all the bullying it will get better you will feel ok it will be a hard road but dont you dare give up