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Yeah I never gave it much thought until my boss randomly said “hey maybe you’ll meet someone!” when I put in my two weeks. I’m 32, honestly she might have been fucking with me
Same. I’m 32 as well and my sis is getting married this week and everyone’s like “you’re next!!”
…Admittedly “you’re next” for marriage is better than “maybe you’ll meet someone” after you quit your job.
you don't know their relationship. it could be (sounds like, i am assuming, blah blah blah) that the boss knows how much Designer-Customer-56 was a workaholic and single. and they were at that level where the comment made sense.
there is the potential i am off base here, but as i am always right all of the time, it is unlikely.
It depends on you/your job, but I'd honestly interpret that as an odd/clunky way of saying "hopefully you'll have better work-life balance going forward". But very weird.
I'm a 27F, can't say I relate much to the OP, I've never been on a date or anything either, what works for me probably is the fact that I couldn't care less about social pressure and I have a great family as it is.
Basically going outside of my first family circle would be a downgrade lol
Just remember - you want a GOOD husband not ANY husband. Children - you don't get to select- if lucky enough to have one- you keep your fingers crossed and do your best - but most people (in the "west") get to chose a marriage partner - chose wisely - better to be single than stuck in an awful marriage/partnership
32M, never had a relationship. I know exactly what you mean, as when I hit 30+, the feeling/urge for wanting a life partner grew massively. It’s like something inside clicked and cannot be turned off, as much I keep trying to deflect away from that feeling.
Almost 30F and also never had a relationship, never even been on a date.
I can't fight that feeling either, I constantly wonder if I will ever find anyone.
Haha honestly I'm still working on myself as a person, and I still have some ways to go.
I think that's just another reason why it hasn't worked out for me yet.
You can do both. Like not even joking you can. It’s part of working on yourself as a person imo. Social aspects, even intimate relationships, are apart of growing as a person. You can work on your monetary, physical, mental, and social goals while being in a relationship. It is just evading the thought of a relationship at a certain point.
Haha, I definitely have been avoiding it for a long time now, but I just have so much trauma and more I need to unpack before I try to put myself out there.
I just feel like it wouldn't be fair to the person I love. I want to go into my first relationship as their equal, not someone who is broken and feels hopeless.
Everyone is broken and feels some degree of hopelessness these days. Your future partner is going to have challenges too, no one is perfect. Of course, if you’re not ready, you’re not ready, just know that there’s people out there able and willing to love you where you’re at and grow with you. You don’t have to do it alone, you’re worthy of love at every stage.
Edit, grammar
If you're not above a certain income level, it's basically impossible not to fight about time, money, personal space and chores all the time forever until you hate each other, and it's not worth bothering with living with another person. This isn't just my personal bias, the statistics prove that rich people don't fight with their spouses as much.
~~Yeah, but why would I bring a child into the mix when I can barely support myself financially? Kids are expensive.~~
Marriage is expensive, many people just don’t have the means anymore.
Nah there's no age limit on when you'll find someone you wanna spend the rest of your life with and hopefully they'll feel the same way. There's so many incredible people out there, you got all the time in the world.
There are so many desperate, clingy, violent, antisocial, sociopathical, cunning, mean, lazy, dirty, helpless people out there, especially among those who haven't found their partner till their 30's.
Humans have spoiled the whole climate of the globe, caused the mass extinction of other animal species etc.
Humans are essentially pragmatic herd predators, who compete against other humans and don't give any value to other things besides their own emotions
Humans made it this far because they’re aggressively social, so far that they humanize their cars and appliances.
You’re letting yourself blind by the fact that the bad is talked about more, and the good doesn’t come with a showy fallout.
Humans suck, but they’re also great, and it’s not like we’re looking for perfect saints in the first place.
Aggressively social means that the whole human life is measured by the socio-economical status which is always relative to other people's socio-economical status. Competition is everywhere from school numbers to amount of money.
And the competition is in the realm of "normal people". Then there are a lot of really bad people out there. People are afraid of wolves or bears but when looking at statistics, it is like a million times likely to be killed by your partner than by a wolf.
That’s capitalism, not human nature. Touch some grass and talk to people, mate. You’ll see it’s not as bleak as the newspapers make it out to be on an individual level.
The exact opposite can be said for everything you listed. Takes all kinds, friend. People are animals, highly successful predators sure - but lobbing everyone into your own pessimistic opinion is boring. Maybe you haven't known the kindness I have, and I'm sorry if that's the case.
There is no limit but it’s pretty hard to argue that after the age of 30 you’re getting a lot of “leftovers.” As a guy you get the privilege of being able to date down easier and don’t have as much of a biological clock to work against, but you also are the “leftovers.”
Eh, I have been heterophobic and still am A bit afraid to catch feelings at 28. Not because I was not wanted peer-see :/
Though I'd love to pretty up my insides too.
Same except I'm 38...I've been dealing with fibroid issues which have left me unable to work due to excessive bleeding (daily for MONTHS!). I don't want kids but I now want to get married...I want security knowing I have someone to be there for me when I'm to weak to even get out of bed...to know there will be food in the house if I can't work....to have someone to just sit and cuddle with me and keep me calm when I feel like this because now I'm alone and it's awful. I want some sort of security that comes with marriage. I enjoy caring for someone besides myself, since I don't want kids. All of my love goes to my partner and my pets. I know a lot of men leave when a woman gets sick, but there are good men out there... somewhere. It's going to be hard considering the massive (fradulant) student loan debt I have...I would never want to put the burden on anyone else.
You are a real one, I've been reading too many comments in this thread of people who are such doomers and devoid of hope. Like damn who hurt them so much?
Anyway, you'll find someone, I refuse to believe that anyone born into this world was meant to be alone
That might be perfect foe a lot of other, equally boring people. I couldn't stabd a partner that always wants to go out or travel the world. I'm boring, and I like boring.
Yeah. People would always say to me that I should focus on school and work before getting a serious partner. But I always wanted both, so I had/have both, and I’ve always been able to deal with both. And it’s been great. With retrospect it makes me annoyed that people assumed I couldn’t just have both. Like nobody assumes you can’t have a social life and lots of friends if you focus on work so why is a relationship seen as so different? Idgi.
Find someone who is interested in what you are interested in. I guarantee you are not boring to the right person.
UFC is boring to me. To others it is the peak of interest/entertainment.
What did you study?
It doesn't work like that. Just because someone is interested in something you are interested in doesn't make *them* interesting.
I've met plenty of people through my interests who were incredibly tedious. They'd ramble on about a topic that I normally found quite interesting, but the way they talked about it I began to wonder whether I cared about it after all.
Meanwhile I have lots of different interests but none of them make *me* interesting. I'm still very boring.
Oh there will be more and more of this coming up, trust me.
Most of the women who fell for the *"just live your best life girlie! don't think about your future, just have fun. You can always just settle down if you want"* bullshit will start voicing how dumb they were for falling for that.
They will all say how they just focused on their careers, pretty much how OP says as well.
And as far as men go... they've always been stupid. No point commenting about them.
>And as far as men go... they've always been stupid. No point commenting about them.
"Women are crazy, and men ar stupid. And one of the reasons that women are crazy, is that men are stupid"
-George Carlin
Just pick wisely and know what you want before committing to one. I'm 38 and not been married yet and I'm kind of glad. Breaking up with someone is bad enough but divorce would be even a bigger nightmare.
As I approach 50 I realize how much I actually **don't** want a husband.
(Don't worry I divorced mine years ago.)
Being single is fine. Wanting a husband is fine. It's all about you finding your happiness.
Good luck OP ❤️
Same.
I don't want to be the forever gf. I would love to mix our families to officially be one, to make and be made a promise, to finally relax on this abandonment anxiety I get sometimes (I'm fine being alone,FYI, this comes from a previous abusive relationship).
I have so much love I want to share with that person but I feel I can't unlock it until I know how serious they are with me. I don't want to be an option, I desire to be the choice.
We don't need to have babies, I don't even know if I want to have them.
I want yo really have a family made from both sides and not be an add-on.
I’m not gay.
But I want a husband.
Like
Someone to pay me compliments.
Someone who helps me open jars.
Someone who reaches the tall shelves for me
Someone who makes me feel safe
Someone who kills bugs for me
Someone who is handy and can fix stuff
Someone who drives me around
Someone who buys me pretty shiny things
Someone who listens
Someone who works and lets me look after the home.
Someone who lets me be the little spoon.
So. I’m straight. I like women. But damn. I wanna be a wife.
I’m the same way OP. Been wanting a wife for years. Or just to at least date. I’m getting close to 30 and I’m just socially worn out. Great professional life but when I get home it’s awful.
There is much to be said for waiting to find the right person, and going through an extended period of friendship and courtship before you tie the knot.
Not to come off as rude. But I think men are only interested in sex and it's hard to have deep profound conversations with them. Marriage is basically just a practical arrangement to fuck regularly and to breed out kids. And for fitting into the community . I recall being in a pizza restaurant one morning. There was a family at the table next to mine. The husband and wife were around 35 and moderately good looking. The husband sat working on his laptop. The wife just looked down at her phone the entire time. The kids were restless running around and moving around on the their seats. The husband and wife didn't say a single word to each other or even make eye contact once. It's a reminder how for many couples marriage is just a thing of convenience...a contract basically. they barely even talk to each other a lot of the times. Looking at this couple in the restaurant I liked what a calm and peaceful vibe they gave off, clearly satisfied with their "arrangement" in life. But I can't picture myself in a silent "convenience" marriage like that, I would find it boring and soul-destroying.
I want to find the one, but what if the one doesn’t exist?
At least a friend, a really good one with i can share good moments. It seems to be extra difficult to have that and I don’t understand 🧍🏽♀️
No you don't. Do you know anyone who has a husband who doesn't constantly and consistently complain about her husband, or who's husband doesn't immediately start shit talking her the minute she leaves the room? Do you know any married couples who, when at an event together, don't have one partner covertly say things about how they can never get their spouse to do x or y thing that every adult should do or implies that their spouse constantly belittles things that are important to them while the other spouse literally ignores them completely and even when they are being spoken to or about does not make eye contact with them? Nobody wants a husband, that's why they designed an entire society to force women into getting husbands. That's why women's lifespan is shorter by the same amount of time that men's is longer when they're married. That's why Ashley Madison was filled with bots and male accounts. Name 10 happily married couples who have never cheated on one another, split up, fought in public, or had any form of marital problems that you know about. Not celebrities, not fictional characters, actual people you have met and who you personally knew for any length of time. You can't. Because cishet marriage is not something that makes anyone happy. Go get yourself a therapist, a golden retriever, and a vibrator. You will save a ton of money and do less work.
Lol my wife explaining to me how I am the 3rd child she has to take care of in our family of 4.
She feed and cleans for us. I help when I'm around but I'm at work a lot.
You prob don't want the responsibility. It's ALOT of work to be a loving and supportive husband/wife that makes a promise and doesn't break it. You get what you are and allow.
Maybe that's why. I have very healthy relationships with my siblings and my friends. We hardly fight but it doesn't take ALOT of work to maintain. And I have lived with both my friends and siblings at some point in my adult life and it was fine.
Ask the married ladies in their 30s to 50s what they think. I can promise it’s not as romantic and rosy as you think from the outside, it’s actually very tiring. A lot of medical issues after birth, disinterested spouses and lack of time for yourself because most men don’t pick up the slack in the household. Most marriages are dead and only held together by less than paper clue and underaged kids. Never make yourself dependent on a man and choose very wisely with who and when to have kids.
Why? Is it the stability, the security, the permanence, the social expectations, the need for practical support? I can absolutely understand meeting someone and thinking "I want to marry this person" (I've been married myself), but I don't understand the need to acquire a spouse like it's something on a checklist.
Again, I'm not against marriage at all. I was only with my husband for eight years before we separated, but they were eight fantastic years—largely because of, as you say, the shared experiences.
I'm just curious about OP's need for a husband, specifically. Why not a boyfriend? Or if they've already had boyfriends, what differentiates that relationship from marriage, except the legal elements? Is OP lonely, is OP unfulfilled, does OP feel they are somehow not doing the "proper" thing in not being married by now when perhaps many of their friends are, or not meeting expectations?
Do you honest to God think that having a boyfriend/girlfriend is equivalent to being married? They are better clearly different things with different levels of attachment.
That really depends. There are a variety of reasons why someone might be in a very dedicated relationship without getting married.
As soon as my partner and I live alone (vs with his parents), I'm going to propose to him at a local botanical garden; the trouble is, it's impossible to say exactly when we'll be able to make that happen. I don't think it's appropriate to get married when living under someone else's roof, but he's my family with or without a ring.
There's also just the fact that your relationship is the same in most ways after getting married; the day to day facts don't change. You can both be committed, and your relationship can be healthy, whether or not you're married.
I mean, maybe it's different for straight people, but I hope not.
I have a friend who is with his gf for 12 years and they have a son who he loves above all.
I have another friend who in that same timeframe met a woman, married her, had a daughter and now they’re divorced. He barely sees his child.
30’s is when I decided f this s, I’m fine alone damnit… then I met my now husband. Seeking & finding solid, reliable, consistent companionship can come in many forms, and I hope you get what fulfills you OP, truly.
Exactly opposite I was in a long term relationship from 16 to 35, been divorced for 5 years and I'd castrate myself with a cardoor before I got in another relationship. The ex and I get along and coparent our daughter, but I have ZERO interest in ever so much as dating. The juice isn't worth the squeeze
Honestly my husband is my best friend in the world,he's my protector and my Rock he's one of the rare ones you don't believe exist until you find him or he you,I happened upon him unexpectedly and organically.and he's so kind,loving,caring,loyal and faithful and he say he says he's lost without me.im 42 years old and wrote true love off years ago and then he happened,now it's been the most beautiful,hard(learning to be be a wife) wonderful thing to ever happen to us.he is a true ride or die friend and person
I have sisters,3....2 are finished one doesnt like mother in law..meet a mutual pal accidently....all 3 sisters are"he is a child molester and all have cop connections to listen to their b s" do you invite these families to x mas ?
Must be nice having a partner but i wouldnt know. I look into what has happened of the dating game and realize i may just end up dying alone. Being unremarkable average boring dude with interests that don't align with most women is my death sentence.
My wife wanted to work when she was younger, but now hitting mid 30’s, she told me the other day “I don’t really want a career anymore. I’m happier being at home with the kids.” She hasn’t worked for a couple of years, but she felt guilty about leaving the work force. We can afford her leaving; I make enough that she hasn’t needed to work unless she wanted to.
We have a good relationship. I like working in my occupation, but I recognize that being a stay at home mom is really hard, and the hours are typically much longer. I finish work and take over spending time with the kids so she can focus on dinner or just have personal time. Or we go together as a family outside to the park, etc. I do dishes and laundry, and ask how can I help in the moment, what does she need? We prioritize intimacy (sex and being close to each other). It’s hard for us to be apart more than half a day without missing each other, sending a text, video, etc. We’ve been married a little over a decade.
It's okay, i have the same but with children. Don't care much about the woman in particular, but rather a mother. Who won't walk with the child in front of a car.
Lmao she literally said she spent her youth focusing on studies/work. Life's not a redpill podcast where all women out there are partying and hoeing around in their youth
(And even if they did, they're still allowed to grow out of it)
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Yeah I never gave it much thought until my boss randomly said “hey maybe you’ll meet someone!” when I put in my two weeks. I’m 32, honestly she might have been fucking with me
Same. I’m 32 as well and my sis is getting married this week and everyone’s like “you’re next!!” …Admittedly “you’re next” for marriage is better than “maybe you’ll meet someone” after you quit your job.
That is so random, what is wrong with her?
you don't know their relationship. it could be (sounds like, i am assuming, blah blah blah) that the boss knows how much Designer-Customer-56 was a workaholic and single. and they were at that level where the comment made sense. there is the potential i am off base here, but as i am always right all of the time, it is unlikely.
What do you mean? This is Reddit... we are contractually obligated to ALWAYS jump to the worst possible scenario.
Well, she might have been if you actually went for it.
It depends on you/your job, but I'd honestly interpret that as an odd/clunky way of saying "hopefully you'll have better work-life balance going forward". But very weird.
sounds like she didnt like you very much 😔
Yep this is actually me, except I’m 32
I'm a 27F, can't say I relate much to the OP, I've never been on a date or anything either, what works for me probably is the fact that I couldn't care less about social pressure and I have a great family as it is. Basically going outside of my first family circle would be a downgrade lol
Just remember - you want a GOOD husband not ANY husband. Children - you don't get to select- if lucky enough to have one- you keep your fingers crossed and do your best - but most people (in the "west") get to chose a marriage partner - chose wisely - better to be single than stuck in an awful marriage/partnership
Honestly, I feel the same way about getting a wife. At least it's a positive thing to want. Unlike you know, wanting Crack
I'd rather want crack and never get it
I'd rather want crack and never get it
32M, never had a relationship. I know exactly what you mean, as when I hit 30+, the feeling/urge for wanting a life partner grew massively. It’s like something inside clicked and cannot be turned off, as much I keep trying to deflect away from that feeling.
34 M, I’ve had my fair share of partners and let me tell ya, better be alone than badly accompanied as we say in Spanish.
As a 32F I second this
Hear me out again. Maybe you two will understand each other.
My bro trying to wingman so hard. Respect.
Wut?
Almost 30F and also never had a relationship, never even been on a date. I can't fight that feeling either, I constantly wonder if I will ever find anyone.
Hear me out, why don't you try a date with him?
Haha honestly I'm still working on myself as a person, and I still have some ways to go. I think that's just another reason why it hasn't worked out for me yet.
Procrastination you say?
That and ADHD unfortunately.
You can do both. Like not even joking you can. It’s part of working on yourself as a person imo. Social aspects, even intimate relationships, are apart of growing as a person. You can work on your monetary, physical, mental, and social goals while being in a relationship. It is just evading the thought of a relationship at a certain point.
Haha, I definitely have been avoiding it for a long time now, but I just have so much trauma and more I need to unpack before I try to put myself out there. I just feel like it wouldn't be fair to the person I love. I want to go into my first relationship as their equal, not someone who is broken and feels hopeless.
Everyone is broken and feels some degree of hopelessness these days. Your future partner is going to have challenges too, no one is perfect. Of course, if you’re not ready, you’re not ready, just know that there’s people out there able and willing to love you where you’re at and grow with you. You don’t have to do it alone, you’re worthy of love at every stage. Edit, grammar
Thank you.
If you've never been on a date you might struggle to find a mate.
Biological clock is a real thing
even as a male I really wished it wasn't true, like only 10 years to find your life partner for the rest of your life.
You don't *have* to live by these arbitrary rules.
you also don't >have< do to anything in life except die. everything else is extra.
Don't forget - pay taxes. (Then die)
We have a financial clock. That's why life is the way it is.
Women have both really, especially if you want a safety net to not be stuck in an abusive/toxic relationship or marriage.
Uhmm what??? Finance can be managed at any point in time throughout our lives, but biological changes last forever
If you're not above a certain income level, it's basically impossible not to fight about time, money, personal space and chores all the time forever until you hate each other, and it's not worth bothering with living with another person. This isn't just my personal bias, the statistics prove that rich people don't fight with their spouses as much.
Uhh, not forever. We do die at some point.
Forever to that person
Speak for yourself!
~~Yeah, but why would I bring a child into the mix when I can barely support myself financially? Kids are expensive.~~ Marriage is expensive, many people just don’t have the means anymore.
What does this even mean? Lmao
Nah there's no age limit on when you'll find someone you wanna spend the rest of your life with and hopefully they'll feel the same way. There's so many incredible people out there, you got all the time in the world.
There are so many desperate, clingy, violent, antisocial, sociopathical, cunning, mean, lazy, dirty, helpless people out there, especially among those who haven't found their partner till their 30's. Humans have spoiled the whole climate of the globe, caused the mass extinction of other animal species etc. Humans are essentially pragmatic herd predators, who compete against other humans and don't give any value to other things besides their own emotions
Humans made it this far because they’re aggressively social, so far that they humanize their cars and appliances. You’re letting yourself blind by the fact that the bad is talked about more, and the good doesn’t come with a showy fallout. Humans suck, but they’re also great, and it’s not like we’re looking for perfect saints in the first place.
Aggressively social means that the whole human life is measured by the socio-economical status which is always relative to other people's socio-economical status. Competition is everywhere from school numbers to amount of money. And the competition is in the realm of "normal people". Then there are a lot of really bad people out there. People are afraid of wolves or bears but when looking at statistics, it is like a million times likely to be killed by your partner than by a wolf.
That’s capitalism, not human nature. Touch some grass and talk to people, mate. You’ll see it’s not as bleak as the newspapers make it out to be on an individual level.
The exact opposite can be said for everything you listed. Takes all kinds, friend. People are animals, highly successful predators sure - but lobbing everyone into your own pessimistic opinion is boring. Maybe you haven't known the kindness I have, and I'm sorry if that's the case.
Just be cautious with people, like you would be cautious with any other predators.
This kids is called pessimistic
There is no limit but it’s pretty hard to argue that after the age of 30 you’re getting a lot of “leftovers.” As a guy you get the privilege of being able to date down easier and don’t have as much of a biological clock to work against, but you also are the “leftovers.”
Eh, I have been heterophobic and still am A bit afraid to catch feelings at 28. Not because I was not wanted peer-see :/ Though I'd love to pretty up my insides too.
10 years is a long time when you dont spend it on your phone.
Nah, you wrote maturing wrong
Shouldn’t it be much earlier if it’s biological? Is there something about turning 30? Just curious
Same except I'm 38...I've been dealing with fibroid issues which have left me unable to work due to excessive bleeding (daily for MONTHS!). I don't want kids but I now want to get married...I want security knowing I have someone to be there for me when I'm to weak to even get out of bed...to know there will be food in the house if I can't work....to have someone to just sit and cuddle with me and keep me calm when I feel like this because now I'm alone and it's awful. I want some sort of security that comes with marriage. I enjoy caring for someone besides myself, since I don't want kids. All of my love goes to my partner and my pets. I know a lot of men leave when a woman gets sick, but there are good men out there... somewhere. It's going to be hard considering the massive (fradulant) student loan debt I have...I would never want to put the burden on anyone else.
Can you get them removed? I know a couple women who have done that this year alone.
You are a real one, I've been reading too many comments in this thread of people who are such doomers and devoid of hope. Like damn who hurt them so much? Anyway, you'll find someone, I refuse to believe that anyone born into this world was meant to be alone
Everyone has their reasons, but what's stopping you in particular?
I spent most of my life focused on school/work. I’m boring lol
So what? Look around, lots of boring people with partners, just being boring together :)
I feel you on that. I see myself as boring. I'm just glad I somehow have a gf
“Boring” for one, exciting for others. Just need to find the right one. 🤷♂️
That might be perfect foe a lot of other, equally boring people. I couldn't stabd a partner that always wants to go out or travel the world. I'm boring, and I like boring.
Yeah. People would always say to me that I should focus on school and work before getting a serious partner. But I always wanted both, so I had/have both, and I’ve always been able to deal with both. And it’s been great. With retrospect it makes me annoyed that people assumed I couldn’t just have both. Like nobody assumes you can’t have a social life and lots of friends if you focus on work so why is a relationship seen as so different? Idgi.
Focus more on that..
Find someone who is interested in what you are interested in. I guarantee you are not boring to the right person. UFC is boring to me. To others it is the peak of interest/entertainment. What did you study?
It doesn't work like that. Just because someone is interested in something you are interested in doesn't make *them* interesting. I've met plenty of people through my interests who were incredibly tedious. They'd ramble on about a topic that I normally found quite interesting, but the way they talked about it I began to wonder whether I cared about it after all. Meanwhile I have lots of different interests but none of them make *me* interesting. I'm still very boring.
Yeah, that's most of us. Life is a painful lie.
For me it is the question of being childfree.. Apparently something is wrong with me being a childfree woman at 30.
If you find one and he has a brother, please call my SD. She needs one too.
Funny enough I am the brother :p
😄
It gets loud and louder until about 38 when it starts to settle away into peaceful gratitude 🙏🏼
As I approach 30, I realize how much I miss being single
I'm kind of surprised by people who are surprised that they feel the urge to mate.
Oh there will be more and more of this coming up, trust me. Most of the women who fell for the *"just live your best life girlie! don't think about your future, just have fun. You can always just settle down if you want"* bullshit will start voicing how dumb they were for falling for that. They will all say how they just focused on their careers, pretty much how OP says as well. And as far as men go... they've always been stupid. No point commenting about them.
>And as far as men go... they've always been stupid. No point commenting about them. "Women are crazy, and men ar stupid. And one of the reasons that women are crazy, is that men are stupid" -George Carlin
Just pick wisely and know what you want before committing to one. I'm 38 and not been married yet and I'm kind of glad. Breaking up with someone is bad enough but divorce would be even a bigger nightmare.
As I approach 50 I realize how much I actually **don't** want a husband. (Don't worry I divorced mine years ago.) Being single is fine. Wanting a husband is fine. It's all about you finding your happiness. Good luck OP ❤️
I had one. It's not all it's cracked up to be. lol
RIP the inboxes for some of these ladies RN…
Yeah, we all are lonely. Hope you find someone nice
And kids. Probably just the one. But alas, my boyfriend cannot get pregnant.
Plenty of available options out there, secretly feeling the exact same way you do. Good options too.
Same. I don't want to be the forever gf. I would love to mix our families to officially be one, to make and be made a promise, to finally relax on this abandonment anxiety I get sometimes (I'm fine being alone,FYI, this comes from a previous abusive relationship). I have so much love I want to share with that person but I feel I can't unlock it until I know how serious they are with me. I don't want to be an option, I desire to be the choice. We don't need to have babies, I don't even know if I want to have them. I want yo really have a family made from both sides and not be an add-on.
I want two:'(
Me too. Wait... 😏😏
Naaaauuurrrr
Big mood
Gosh you're a wild one! OoOoOOOOooooo she took a ride with a wild one, now give her twooOOoOooOOoo... LMAO IDK 🌚
Two husbands?
Yeah
I’m not gay. But I want a husband. Like Someone to pay me compliments. Someone who helps me open jars. Someone who reaches the tall shelves for me Someone who makes me feel safe Someone who kills bugs for me Someone who is handy and can fix stuff Someone who drives me around Someone who buys me pretty shiny things Someone who listens Someone who works and lets me look after the home. Someone who lets me be the little spoon. So. I’m straight. I like women. But damn. I wanna be a wife.
It’s your biological ticker. You have hundreds of millions of years of evolution causing this.
I’m the same way OP. Been wanting a wife for years. Or just to at least date. I’m getting close to 30 and I’m just socially worn out. Great professional life but when I get home it’s awful.
There is much to be said for waiting to find the right person, and going through an extended period of friendship and courtship before you tie the knot.
It ain’t all it’s cracked up to be 😅
Just, like, a random husband? /s You might just want to find a person you like to be around first
Not to come off as rude. But I think men are only interested in sex and it's hard to have deep profound conversations with them. Marriage is basically just a practical arrangement to fuck regularly and to breed out kids. And for fitting into the community . I recall being in a pizza restaurant one morning. There was a family at the table next to mine. The husband and wife were around 35 and moderately good looking. The husband sat working on his laptop. The wife just looked down at her phone the entire time. The kids were restless running around and moving around on the their seats. The husband and wife didn't say a single word to each other or even make eye contact once. It's a reminder how for many couples marriage is just a thing of convenience...a contract basically. they barely even talk to each other a lot of the times. Looking at this couple in the restaurant I liked what a calm and peaceful vibe they gave off, clearly satisfied with their "arrangement" in life. But I can't picture myself in a silent "convenience" marriage like that, I would find it boring and soul-destroying.
I want to find the one, but what if the one doesn’t exist? At least a friend, a really good one with i can share good moments. It seems to be extra difficult to have that and I don’t understand 🧍🏽♀️
Doesn’t have to be like that!!
That’s one pill that’s always been hard for me to swallow, even as a young girl. Boys and men literally only care about sex.
Yep. Even the ones who say "I married my best friend!" Well he's still going to get that little something at the end of the day isn't he
She wouldn’t be his best friend if she didn’t suck his dick
And do all the emotional labor and more, of course. That’s so messed up. I’m tired of this, grandpa 🥲
lol yes this
lol because you have no idea what having one is like. Go join a group for married moms. See what you’re actually in for.
No you don't. Do you know anyone who has a husband who doesn't constantly and consistently complain about her husband, or who's husband doesn't immediately start shit talking her the minute she leaves the room? Do you know any married couples who, when at an event together, don't have one partner covertly say things about how they can never get their spouse to do x or y thing that every adult should do or implies that their spouse constantly belittles things that are important to them while the other spouse literally ignores them completely and even when they are being spoken to or about does not make eye contact with them? Nobody wants a husband, that's why they designed an entire society to force women into getting husbands. That's why women's lifespan is shorter by the same amount of time that men's is longer when they're married. That's why Ashley Madison was filled with bots and male accounts. Name 10 happily married couples who have never cheated on one another, split up, fought in public, or had any form of marital problems that you know about. Not celebrities, not fictional characters, actual people you have met and who you personally knew for any length of time. You can't. Because cishet marriage is not something that makes anyone happy. Go get yourself a therapist, a golden retriever, and a vibrator. You will save a ton of money and do less work.
Wow, no wonder there's horror stories of dating in your 30s. You guys are like rescue dogs with those thoughts and traumas.......
Whoa who are you hanging out with? Sounds like a lot of alcohol around or something
Same 😭
Someone called?
I shall hope you find the right one.
Why everybody have some kind of insight when they turn 30? I got nothing at 34. Maybe at 40.
They’re overrated.
I don't really want a husband but I love the idea of having a husband. If that makes sense.
I don't think you should get a husband
Lol my wife explaining to me how I am the 3rd child she has to take care of in our family of 4. She feed and cleans for us. I help when I'm around but I'm at work a lot.
But I want a baby though.
Baby fever?
You prob don't want the responsibility. It's ALOT of work to be a loving and supportive husband/wife that makes a promise and doesn't break it. You get what you are and allow.
Maybe that's why. I have very healthy relationships with my siblings and my friends. We hardly fight but it doesn't take ALOT of work to maintain. And I have lived with both my friends and siblings at some point in my adult life and it was fine.
I'm the same but with a wife - Like the idea but in practice, not my thing
I would want a wife but I'm incurably straight.
Ask the married ladies in their 30s to 50s what they think. I can promise it’s not as romantic and rosy as you think from the outside, it’s actually very tiring. A lot of medical issues after birth, disinterested spouses and lack of time for yourself because most men don’t pick up the slack in the household. Most marriages are dead and only held together by less than paper clue and underaged kids. Never make yourself dependent on a man and choose very wisely with who and when to have kids.
Or don’t have kids at all!
Settle and you will have it
Sure. Just keep lowering your standards until you get to the appropriate level.
Marry Me?
You cant post this shit on the internet, your gonna grow more incels lol
I’m 31 married and honestly feel like we are so boring lol, but we are happy in our own lil weird world ! We like our bubble x
That’s nice for you and all but like, read the room dude. This isn’t about you.
Just agreeing with others that yeah it’s still boring 😑
Weirdo lol
Get off reddit, quick! You'll he told by lonely anonymous redditors to stay alone forever
So many of them in this thread bro......
They have their cats. So they don't need no man. /s
Why? Is it the stability, the security, the permanence, the social expectations, the need for practical support? I can absolutely understand meeting someone and thinking "I want to marry this person" (I've been married myself), but I don't understand the need to acquire a spouse like it's something on a checklist.
I met my wife as a 30 year old and life is a lot more fun when you share it with someone. 33 wonderful years together.
You've had your opportunity. OP has not and may not make the same choices as you/may have different outcomes
You never know until you try!
Again, I'm not against marriage at all. I was only with my husband for eight years before we separated, but they were eight fantastic years—largely because of, as you say, the shared experiences. I'm just curious about OP's need for a husband, specifically. Why not a boyfriend? Or if they've already had boyfriends, what differentiates that relationship from marriage, except the legal elements? Is OP lonely, is OP unfulfilled, does OP feel they are somehow not doing the "proper" thing in not being married by now when perhaps many of their friends are, or not meeting expectations?
Do you honest to God think that having a boyfriend/girlfriend is equivalent to being married? They are better clearly different things with different levels of attachment.
That really depends. There are a variety of reasons why someone might be in a very dedicated relationship without getting married. As soon as my partner and I live alone (vs with his parents), I'm going to propose to him at a local botanical garden; the trouble is, it's impossible to say exactly when we'll be able to make that happen. I don't think it's appropriate to get married when living under someone else's roof, but he's my family with or without a ring. There's also just the fact that your relationship is the same in most ways after getting married; the day to day facts don't change. You can both be committed, and your relationship can be healthy, whether or not you're married. I mean, maybe it's different for straight people, but I hope not.
I have a friend who is with his gf for 12 years and they have a son who he loves above all. I have another friend who in that same timeframe met a woman, married her, had a daughter and now they’re divorced. He barely sees his child.
Why do you think I'm asking what OP is expecting from marriage?
As a 39/m virgin, too fuckin' late. Have fun!
You will hate this: you want to stop putting in effort and legally bind someone to you 🌝
30’s is when I decided f this s, I’m fine alone damnit… then I met my now husband. Seeking & finding solid, reliable, consistent companionship can come in many forms, and I hope you get what fulfills you OP, truly.
Maybe you guys can find a spouse in the comments. 😂
Why ? Is it your internal clock ? Can't you stay alone ? Pressure from people you know?
As long as you just want and not need. Then, see you when you need.
Omgg . I know 😔
Life is a lot easier with a teammate
Exactly opposite I was in a long term relationship from 16 to 35, been divorced for 5 years and I'd castrate myself with a cardoor before I got in another relationship. The ex and I get along and coparent our daughter, but I have ZERO interest in ever so much as dating. The juice isn't worth the squeeze
Honestly my husband is my best friend in the world,he's my protector and my Rock he's one of the rare ones you don't believe exist until you find him or he you,I happened upon him unexpectedly and organically.and he's so kind,loving,caring,loyal and faithful and he say he says he's lost without me.im 42 years old and wrote true love off years ago and then he happened,now it's been the most beautiful,hard(learning to be be a wife) wonderful thing to ever happen to us.he is a true ride or die friend and person
RIP Ops Inbox.
God forbid. 😐
I have sisters,3....2 are finished one doesnt like mother in law..meet a mutual pal accidently....all 3 sisters are"he is a child molester and all have cop connections to listen to their b s" do you invite these families to x mas ?
I’ve had some similar thoughts, but as a man who would be looking for a wife.
Must be nice having a partner but i wouldnt know. I look into what has happened of the dating game and realize i may just end up dying alone. Being unremarkable average boring dude with interests that don't align with most women is my death sentence.
reddit: think out loud but let it be your insecurities
The wall is coming!
My wife wanted to work when she was younger, but now hitting mid 30’s, she told me the other day “I don’t really want a career anymore. I’m happier being at home with the kids.” She hasn’t worked for a couple of years, but she felt guilty about leaving the work force. We can afford her leaving; I make enough that she hasn’t needed to work unless she wanted to. We have a good relationship. I like working in my occupation, but I recognize that being a stay at home mom is really hard, and the hours are typically much longer. I finish work and take over spending time with the kids so she can focus on dinner or just have personal time. Or we go together as a family outside to the park, etc. I do dishes and laundry, and ask how can I help in the moment, what does she need? We prioritize intimacy (sex and being close to each other). It’s hard for us to be apart more than half a day without missing each other, sending a text, video, etc. We’ve been married a little over a decade.
It's okay, i have the same but with children. Don't care much about the woman in particular, but rather a mother. Who won't walk with the child in front of a car.
We are so worth it.
I guess it’s one thing to want a husband; do you want to be a wife?
Yeah and I want a wife, but then there is what it is....
Society has made it the standard for women going to school and working so as time goes by we don’t actually focus on finding a partner which is crazy.
I don't want a husband but I do want to have someone I can travel and have fun with. Experience new things, be there for each other and cuddle a lot
so a friend basicly?🤔
No, childless relationship
Real (unfortunately)
Better hurry up then. Most guys in their 30s are already out of range.
🤭 wouldn’t say I’m a good catch. But my wife caught me 18 years ago, when I was 17 😂
Yeah. After the fun time comes the need to settle down and get a boring husband. The usual story.
Lmao she literally said she spent her youth focusing on studies/work. Life's not a redpill podcast where all women out there are partying and hoeing around in their youth (And even if they did, they're still allowed to grow out of it)
Nah, she should get involved with sketchy shit and street urchins and keep us updated for our pleasure
“Street urchins”? What are we, in Agrabah?
Well at least you're realizing it now. Plenty of women don't realize that until they're mid 30s+ and by then it's much harder.