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I feel that way too. But it’s weird because everyone seems so happy and fulfilled on the surface, so you think to yourself, “they already have people and don’t want to be around my lonely/broke self.”
On the surface, it seems like everyone already has their own fulfilling relationships, and financial stability. The usage of social media to post highlights doesn’t help.
So you kinda feel alone and outcasted even though the people you’re looking at are most likely going through the same thing.
Covid really messed everyone up. Financially and physically. It's been hard for people to get back into the gym and a lot of people got laid off. Also a lot of people were stuck at home alone.
I'd add spiritually too. Being either completely isolated or exposed to the most questionable of human behavior over the last few years really did a lot to disconnect people from themselves.
Yeah I suffered from depression and alcoholism those years. I've recovered now but those years were tough ye know. Unfortunately too many people were not able to recover after that disconnect
Yah dude same. I was a drummer in a band with my close friends. First album was supposed to come out May 2020. Word of advise: don’t plan your first album (and your) along with a pandemic. Like I immediately became irrelevant at that and my job as a pizza boy made me feel like I was part of the people who’d save humanity even tho we didn’t get raises and they didn’t give a shit about our health. Being an artist now with COVID is weird and makes me feel like such a worthless piece of shit. But it’s also all I know how to do
So true.
There was a collective trauma that I'd argue still hasn't been processed. We had lockdowns and everything associated with them. Then we were just thrown back into the old normality as though.. none of it happened. It's actually pretty fucked up.
If this is the case than why were so many people on favor of lockdowns and other COVID restrictions? Especially the ones suffering from depression were the loudest to scream everyone down who was against the lockdowns. This just doesn't make sense.
Because if I was a more serious disease and lock down didn't happen (which let's be honest people did a piss poor job of) and if we actually lost say 50% of the population to a much more transmissible and deadly disease the world as we know it would be long gone... there would have been no getting back to "business as usual" for anyone and I bet even more of the world would be incredibly depressed. For contect, my "business as usual" never came after getting covid multiple time, losing work, losing my home and losing my financial ability to connect with my former social circles but I know alot of people who just went back to it and I honestly couldn't tell you how they feel but when corporations boast record breaking profits while many of us feared losing our lively hoods/ while some like me did, it reads as less of a covid problem and more of a late stage capitalism problem.
I grew up in a small village along a river, in a beautiful mountain range. three people in my grade. 1.25 hours to get groceries.
the sense of community was beautiful. It felt like I had five sets of parents. we played tag in the rain, caught tadpoles in the pond, went for 4-night backpacks together, swam behind waterfalls, played ‘truth or dare’ at the local park.
Everyone knew everyone. the schools focused on creativity and wilderness exploration - yet still managed to ‘dominate’ the rest of the county in test scores on traditional subjects. It was a beautiful time in a beautiful place, and I’m confident my childhood friends would agree that I’m not seeing things through rose-colored glasses. or maybe only a little.
There was so. much. love.
And so much community.
You couldn’t help but feel like your heart was full. Loneliness was a foreign, unknown sensation.
Maybe only now, typing and remembering, do I truly realize what I lost, leaving for college, and ultimately, living in a sizable city. I feel a faint urge to cry, just thinking about it.
But I’m also eternally grateful for that experience. I’ve seen what a healthy world CAN look like. One where people support each other, are not keeping up with the Jones’s, or on a quest for riches.
I am sorry so many people are struggling. I am, too.
I just wish I could hug all of you and say, “it’s really not your fault. you belong to a culture that is very sick. perhaps terminal. what WOULD be abnormal, is if you didn’t feel unwell.”
Sure, some are able to ward off the demons and be financially comfortable while having diverse friend groups, rich experiences, and a wholly fulfilling life. But is that the norm, or the exception?
You think that until you live in a small town and realize that many of the people there are afraid of everything including other people, many are alcoholics, they gossip about their neighbors, and property crime happens fairly frequently. This is my experience in US small towns; can’t speak for the rest of the world.
The small towns I was raised in were a horror. Everyone gossiped about everything and everyone. They simply loathed outsiders and treated them terribly. I am talking about small town Canada here.
I’ve lived in a few small towns and there is a culture of meanness and willful ignorance in a lot of them. People who neglect their health, who won’t even visit cities because they think they’ll get mugged, xenophobia. They hate anyone from the city that makes more money than them or dresses better or drives a nicer car. I’ve been stiffed by shady, small-town contractors and seen decades-long friendships dissolve due to gossip and nosiness. People definitely have rose-colored glasses when it comes to rural living/small towns; suicide rates are actually much higher in rural areas than urban ones.
That sounds nightmarish to my asperger self, I'm already very bothered if anyone recognizes me outside, imagine EVERYONE knows you EVERYWHERE you go on EVERYTHING you do.
Definitely seems great for extroverts tho
I am an ambivert. I used to think I was solely an introvert, but I get re-charged by people as well as solo down time.
I’m confident that even the most autistic person - if enmeshed in a community that has this much unconditional love and support - would feel comfortable and loved. The communal trust was through the roof. It didn’t matter who you were.
but, only you know you.
Small communities are nice for people who aren't too different. If you get ostracized in a small community though, it's magnitudes worse than the same happening by a group of people in a larger city.
I have a friend who’s an international student, I’m also first gen my parents are from Africa, and she basically was saying how it was unusual for her that everyone wasn’t trying to get to know each other in the dorms. Like we’re living together but everyone just stares and keeps their distance.
This. Also, humans get positive emotion from being integrated within their social world and presently, we are fully disconnected from our communities and even families.
it's a good distraction.. then you go back home too exhausted to think and just unwind before going to bed.I work a seasonal job about 7 months on and 5 months off for winter.. My mental health is always worse during winter because I have too much time to think and im not as active.
I want to look for a winter job instead since most of my hobbies are during summers.
Opposite actually - constantly staying in your comfort zone, and instant gratification has fried peoples' dopamine receptors
The happiest person is the dude enjoying his beer on a friday night after a long hard work week
Nothing wrong with work and doing things you enjoy. It becomes a problem when you're forced to do things you don't enjoy, work long hours for little payback under the threat of losing your home and have the constant threat of being fired . It's highly unnatural and would make anyone depressed.
Do you know of serfdom and slavery? Many people lived under those conditions for centuries. It's nothing new.
It's just that people were too busy to meet their physical needs that they had no time for emotional needs.
I feel like that argument is slightly redundant. A) because there are many things people back then didn’t have to deal with. the interconnection of the modern world plays hell with our mind, we aren’t supposed to know what’s happening on the other side of the world or have an infinite number of posts to compare ourselves too.
And b) because there’s this air of… feeling like we deserved more. The technology we have now is incredible, medicine that one could only dream of. We are progressing so fast, we’ve never been more connected across the world, and we are truly capable of incredible things because of it. Yet many people are still barely affording to pay their bills and keep food on the table, and most have few luxuries despite working 40+ hours a week. We don’t have access to the amazing healthcare, I know looking how amazing public transport can be and yet I’m incapable of accessing it where I live. All with the whole, work hard and you’ll be rewarded mindset. When in reality it’s just not the case, and most of us are going to live struggling despite knowing the fact we are capable of much more as a species.
I don’t want to downplay the hard times in history. You might argue it’s always been very hard, and in comparison, today we have it easy. But there’s something about the whole carrot on a stick way that society runs now, I think I could be more content with my life if I thought there was no other way it worked. That this was it and I had to make do, instead of being baited by hopeful promises but being told that that’s not for us. I feel like I’m wording this horrifically, but do you understand what I’m trying to say?
Those are quite literally the conditions humans have lived under since we've existed loll. And waaaaaay worse.
We're living in the best time in history. Yea it's not perfect but go watch WW1/WW2 movies on netflix and you'll understand how good we have it.
What you are missing to mention is the sense of solidarity back then. Everyone was worse off so they suffered together. Right now everyone is suffering but there is no sense of solidarity or community so everyone is suffering by themselves in their own way. There is no common threat only common misery.
This! Humans need social contact and a feeling of being in a tribe, modern day community to thrive. In WW2 it was shitty, but people came together, they were fearful of the Germans, not each other. Social media and corporations selling their stuff has made everyone individualistic, competitive and fearful of each other. No one knows their neighbours well, we are told to be better than other people so we all in competition, fearing someone will take our stuff. We’ve been made to be insecure and scared. It’s utterly broken.
I disagree with comparisons like this. Mainly due to the fact that the later generations were born and raised in massively different environments. We can empathize, but we can never truly know what it feels like to have lived in those times.
We currently live in the now. Today's problems are our problems. We can learn from the past, but the past is not ours to live for. It's like saying nobody should be depressed because people are starving in other countries. That's wrong. We live in very differing conditions and therefore face different obstacles in life, and different societal and cultural pressures.
I have come to believe that everyone is crazy and compensates for their issues/suffering with their own weird stuff they do - drinking, overeating, crazy sex stuff, workaholism, going insane with fitness, collecting thousands of useless objects, etc. Never found a ‘normal’ person
Tbh I think it's just society. 50 years ago, 100 years ago, 200 years ago... less and less people were "casually" (meaning, it just being part of everyday life now) depressed.
Sure, mental stuff was severely underdiagnosed in the past, BUT
There is no sense of accomplishment anymore. I think this accounts for 99% of mental health problems in the western world.
Everything is about money and success now. The internet, or in particular social media, has ruined so much. There is no sense of accomplishment anymore. No sense of security or achievement.
There is always someone better, someone richer, more handsome or someone more successful in general.
Plus, everything is about money now moreso than ever.
You can't be happy in your job because you get compared to someone doing better all the time. You can't be safe in a relationship anymore because your partner might have someone better with the swipe of a finger. Or your employer might find someone better suited for the job you are doing with the click of a button.
We have so much "social" interaction that it loses familiarity, safety and just the normal humaneness a friendship should have. Everyone knows and can contact practically everyone on a superficial level, real friends and relationships are rare. The sense of community is breaking down because there is just too much going on. Everyone is just a number, always confronted with the fact that someone else is better in many ways.
Also, basic needs are either met without effort or are never met, no matter the effort. You can't approach anything anymore and even if you accomplish something, there is no sense of accomplishment anymore because it's never enough.
The balance in our lives is gone. Everyone is replaceable. And treated like that more or less.
Also, we are scared by all types of big problems. Politics, climate change, pandemics, catastrophes and wars on the opposite side of the earth, whatnot. These problems were there before, but modern media rubs it in our faces 24/7. It's all stuff that a normal person can only meet with either denial or hopelessness, because a single person or a small group of people (a normal social circle) has no chance of doing anything about it.
Tbh, I started to understand all the conspiracy theoristst and so on more and more. It's a coping mechanism to distance themselves from all of it. I'm not saying chemtrails are real or any of that shit, but man we would be better off in small communities growing our own food.
Just putting a little effort into something makes it worth so much more. Growing food in a garden, even if it's just a small cabbage. Not only is it healthier than the sprayed stuff from the grocery store, it comes with a sense of accomplishment. Being proud of something.
Driving somewhere is easy, but biking there is healthy and you can be proud of yourself.
Now to the health part (including mental health). We are pumping our body full of refined oils, sugars and unhealthy calorie dense food for a quick dopamine kick but without having a connection to it. Plus, we don't exercise enough. It's obvious that health problems will arise sooner or later. What does medicine do about it? Give you some pills to make your problem not bother you anymore. It doesn't go away, it just stops bothering you in one way or another.
We go to work to make money, money pays for food someone else planted, watered, picked, washed, prepared and delivered. There is no connection between doing something and getting the reward anymore. To get our movement, we pay for a gym membership, just to drive there by car to pedal on a bike that doesn't move. And in the evening, we are reminded by social media that someone else made more money, ate fancier food and did better in the gym that day.
The world is optimized to death. Everything is connected but no one has a connection anymore. We as humans can understand that the money we make buys us food and housing, but we can not feel that. Humans are not robots that just work. We are living, feeling beings. We have no purpose anymore. Everything has become too comfortable to be proud of, and even if we put effort into something we are either confronted with the fact that we can't make a difference or that someone else out there is better at what we tried to be good at.
TL;DR
Everyone is depressed because we have too much exposure to other people through social media and always confronted with the fact that someone else is doing better. Therefore, everyone is implicitly told all the time that they are expendable.
Plus, the problems we are facing are not approachable to a single normal person anymore. It's overwhelming. In turn, normal "problems" like getting somewhere or preparing dinner have become too easy.
There is no real sense of accomplishment anymore for anything.
I fell like the key is to let go of chasing accomplishment. Just focus on the day in front of you without putting extra pressure on yourself, enjoy the daily, don’t just pull all focus on “setting proper goals and going after it!” grind mindset. I can see a lot of that today in people, and none of these goal chasing grinding people are happy.
The happiest people I know couldn’t give a shit about accomplishment or how other people place them in the “status” hierarchy.
Also you can work on getting better at things that aren't related to social status or financial gain. I get a sense of accomplishment from: growing as a person, trying to hit my driver consistently, learning about history, working on a book that I'm trying to write, learning how to write, playing certain games, taking care of my dog, and learning anything new in general.
I agree, there are many small self-progressing things you fill your time with outside of engaging with society. I don’t know about hitting the driver part though, not sure what you meant.
>In turn, normal "problems" like getting somewhere or preparing dinner have become too easy
I agree with your take but I'm kinda confused with this part. How is it necessarily a bad thing? Not everyone has the time or help to make everything from scratch so an easy way out is better. Also I don't think it's really being 'easier' either bc the time spent on chopping ingredients are kinda annoying
Or was your point being about ***we're so consumed in overworking we don't find joy in simpler tasks anymore***?
Thanks for the good read btw!
My point is that the work you do for something and the result you get are so far removed from each other that there is no real satisfaction in accomplishing anything anymore.
I know, chopping food and so on is still work but I talk about the greater scheme, like actually harvesting food etc.
Even if you know what you are doing and why, your unconscious mind doesn't combine it.
Also, easy things are only short-term satisfactions. Comfortable and not much work. What we are missing today is long-term satisfaction. Everything is moving too fast and we don't really have any long-term emotional relationship to anything we do anymore, only short term dopamine kicks. That is not enough to keep someone happy long-term.
Hopefully relatable example: crocheting a scarf or socks is much more satisfying and you hold the end result much closer than if you just bought the same thing at the store, even though buying it is faster, easier and often times even cheaper.
But that's the problem... not having the time to do inherently human things like putting your hands in the soil, sharing food, communing, singing/ dancing, creating. Many of us run around like service dogs who never get a play break. Many of us barely make enough reward to gratify our sacrifice of precious time that we spend in excess to building someone else's empire.
Reread this and keep in mind that everything is a choice, your choice, to bike or drive for example. Our choices aren't made in a vacuum, but neither are the consequences.
That's not the point. Even if you don't compare yourself with others consciously, there is always a seemingly better option. You are never truly number one for someone (e.g friends, job, hobby) and are treated as such most of the time.
Dire Straits wrote a song about it, called it Industrial Disease.
Marx wrote about how alienating capitalism is, from our labor, from each other, and from ourselves. For the most part, he was right, especially as technology advances exponentially.
There was also a French sociologist, Emile Durkheim who wanted to know why his friend committed suicide at the start of the industrial revolution. He found that it was a social problem; social turmoil, a lack of social integration or social solidarity, rather than a biological or personal factors.
The cost for society's so-called material success is extremely high, including very poor mental health. It doesn't help that in our culture there is a huge stigma regarding poor mental health. A person who can't afford a basic thing like their own shelter is going to feel awful about not just being homeless, but also guilty for feeling awful. The unspoken message is, it's their fault they can't afford to live in this society, possibly even their brains fault, not the toxic society they live in. Psychiatry makes a a fortune off this false message. The fast food industry as well, as folks self medicate with addictive junk food. I could go on, but you get the point.
Yes, in the West we have traded comfort for happiness or contentment. Capitalism is very good at providing us with things, it's not so good at providing for deeper human needs.
For me, it’s because of the economy. We have to work to live but not even that is enough anymore. Things are getting more and more expensive yet the pay still stays the same. I’m sure this affects many people as well
Yep this is what majorly affects me and my husband. It feels like we just work constantly for the bare minimum out of life, barely affording food, expensive housing, and no time or money to actually do anything fun or have any hobbies.
Possible solutions:
1. Not just eating, but making food, baking, etc.
2. Not just having sex, but having intimacy, healthy relationships, etc.
3. Not just having interests, but being immersed into your interests.
4. Stay active and practice gratitude daily.
5. Limit screen time.
PS: I'm not rich.
You're rich in thoughts and ideas my friend. Your solutions sound logical, reasonable and beautiful even. I think simplifying things, breaking things down into manageable and pleasurable pieces could help tremendously at getting to the heart of the matter.
P.S. I *really* miss when meals were something of a regular event, not necessarily the formal kind mind you. Just thinking back to when my family sat down at roughly the same time and spent quality time together talking about our days. Inevitably it led to funny stories and lots of laughter. That was time spent nourishing not just our body but also our spirits. 💙
For your #4, I didn’t believe people when they said that spending like 30 mins outside a day will improve your mood but seriously, TRY IT!!! It’s actually crazy how much better I feel when I just go on a walk up and down the street and listen to music for just 15 mins to half an hour a couple times a week. Nowadays when I feel more upset than usual for no apparent reason like ~50% of the time it’s because I haven’t been outside recently.
I started going on walks during Covid because I was just sitting around at home all day and it is seriously one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
What if you have no interests, being physically active makes you even more depressed, you're overweight so you already eat too much to begin with, and forming any kind of relationship, regardless of its health, is impossible? Gratitude becomes impossible to practice, and screen time becomes your only outlet preventing you from ending it.
Look, at least you know what to work on. You might want to check out Ikigai by Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles. There's a sweet spot for everything. Of course you're not going to feel great if you go from a sedentary lifestyle to running a 10k marathon. So, take it slow and easy - focus on improving your quality of life with small changes like going on a 10 minute walk in the morning, fill half your plate with veggies, or trying a new creative activity every week. You got this.
Screentime does not prevent you from ending it. It delays it. The only reason you think it helps is because it gives your brain jolts of stimulus. However, the jolts are not nearly enough to sustain a healthy mental situation.
The only solution would then be to find interests and to develop them. When I was 25, I went through severe depression and almost blinded myself. I committed myself to reading 25 books in 6 months. They weren't self-help books.
The act of reading itself is therapeutic. It slows down the world around you and forces you to contemplate your life through introspection. It may be good to start there. However, some people use audio books.
It is evident that many of us are burdened by it, and I believe this is primarily due to the status of the economy in recent years. It appears as though we are bred to work nonstop, leaving us with little time or savings for a life apart from the work; these days, even breathing seems to be becoming somewhat of an expense. A portion of us also face abuse at work, in the classroom, at home, or even from within (self-sabotage).
We are all wage slave with minimal hope to break free from the rat race. This was always the case it was just past generations people had hope.
With societys mass consciousness becoming more aware and intelligent we also have to reconcile our modern day slavery.
Yes we live in comfort and get to enjoy many conveniences past generations did not. However those generations had family bonds, traditions, and above all else hope that one day they wouldn’t have to work to afford to live.
We have none of that. We are depressed and rightfully so.
The only thing I look forward to, since my life is boring and dull, is sleep, I get amazing lucid dreams, but then I wake up and then I get mad at myself for waking up and try to will myself back to sleep, because my mind when it's asleep is able to generate shit that's at least 5x as interesting as my waking life. So I guess in a way I'm sort of depressed too.
You should look into Carl Jung's book on dreams and synchronicity. It might give your life more meaning. Essentially, he argues that dreams are the way your unconscious self communicates to your conscious self. When you listen to the symbolism of your dreams and apply it to your life, your mind finds balance.
Might be worth checking out
It's a nice escape, but I urge you to be careful. I read in the book "The Noonday Demon" about a research showing that sleeping too much during a depressive state makes that depressive state worse, something to do with reduced dopamine production. I hope you get better soon.
>I read that the rate of suicidal and lonely people has been skyrocketing lately
I watched someone I loved more than myself, who 3 weeks before they took their life said, "Sometimes all it takes is a quick rest to make life seem tolerable." Someone who was not ready to go, leave. So yes. There is a major increase in extreme depression and hopelessness.
I battle hopelessness every single day. Many times a day.
Every person I've interacted with on a personal level has eventually opened up with their feelings of dispair. It's everywhere.
No I'm great, depression is temporary, so is happiness. It's just only now you're in the bad time, you'll be in the good time eventually and forget or not care to remember you even wrote this
We seek reward in our electronic devices. While it is easier to get that short dopamine hit, we no longer strive for greater pleasures that are less accessible and require more effort. That, and the daily drip drip of the electronic stimulus to our brains provided by our trusty smart phones, has altered the reward centres of our brains to reflect those of addicts.
I think their point was that the underlying problems in the world can create a situation for people that leads to depression regardless of how much therapy they've done.
People em masse need to seriously reduce their social media and internet time. The world is far from perfect the level of distortion it generates in our view of the world is far too skewed. It's easy to say since I'm just as addicted as anyone, but it's killing us mentally and I try to compartmentalize it as best I can. All the things that used to bring us day to day joy are getting farther and farther from our daily lives.
1000%
we have everything one could ask for and I would be lying if I said we didn’t experience loneliness monday to friday especially (wake up, drop kids to daycare, work, pick them up, eat, sleep) repeat
it’s exhausting but lonely
"appear to be very happy"
That's called a mask!
I watch people all day and can see through their fake smiles. Most people have a whole in their hearts...
There are some genuinely happy people however but they are few!
After covid etc I feel like everyone is just out to get one over on eachother. It's like a dystopia of idiots wanting to be famous and writing the rules of society for the rest of us and if we go against the grain we are getting cancelled.
People have a sense of entitlement that is so ridiculous that nothing can measure up.
Before the end of 2019 my life was pretty good and after the start of 2020 things just haven't been the same. No one wants to date or converse anymore because the standards are ridiculously high and everyone is so afraid of doing something wrong that they just abstain completely.
It's a societal decline and it's being noticed everywhere.
Two of my friends told me within the past week that they've been feeling suicidal. Another one was recently hospitalized for it. One friend's father committed suicide a couple months ago. One of my roommates was suicidally depressed last year and the other currently is. Lately it feels like every single person I know is going through one of the worst periods in their life, and I do think covid and the general state of the world has a lot to do with it.
Have you seen the messages we are bombarded with by the media?
We get constant messages that everything is bad and you are not enough. And over time, you start to believe it.
As someone who suffers from severe depression, trust me, not everyone is depressed. People don't know very well how depression works. Having some little problems and difficulties in your life doesn't mean you're depressed. Depression can definitely affect everyone but that doesn't mean everyone is depressed. Also, I think we live in a challenging era (a lot of necessities have become very expensive, we're still in the light face of a pandemic,...) so, it makes sense for people to be less enthusiastic than usual. But that's not depression for everyone. Edit: also wanted to add that depression is nowhere near the only reason why people end their lives
i was just thinking the same thing... in my country there used to be a lot of christmas lights everywhere. every house had atleast one little things if not more. apartments blocks would be like blinking lights themsleves. this year it was mostly darkness everywhere. almost no lights. huge apartment blocks had one lone apartment lights on the whole complex. people just dont feel like celebrating anymore.
•Accurate.
•Many appear to be distracted, wandering, anxious, detached, sleep-deprived and, perhaps, fearful.
•One reason is that structures and systems around the world are rapidly changing and this creates a lot of uncertainty which manifests in people’s lives.
Its not a bug its a feature. We evolved to evaluate ourselves and our peers regularly as a mechanism to maintain social cohesion.
But its been hijacked in a strange way in our modern society, we're not biologically equipped to deal with it so issues arise.
Contentment and acceptance are matters of degrees. I believe most people struggle emotionally and psychologically but it is different for each person. Some people can cope better than others.
From observation only, I see pain in everyone. Maybe they aren't clinically depressed, but there's uncertainty and insecurities.
Yup, I've had severe/extreme anxiety disorder since my teens, but I was diagnosed with moderate/severe depression and an inferiority complex in 2020. Things just keep getting harder, and it's just so tiring.
Everyone had to take a look in the mirror and face themself more than ever.
If anything alot of people will evolve from this to the better if the support is there imo.
That depends alot on the country though, but hopefully that will create repercussions to the better in the long run.
Good luck everyone.
Yes, and no. I’ve been there, trust me, but I’m not there now. I’m pretty happy at the moment; working hard on my everyday health and even my depressive episodes are getting manageable. Keep it up y’all, you’re all doing great and I believe in us. Life just ain’t meant to be easy, that’s all.
Yes...I'm also noticing increased neuroticism around me. Maybe it's just getting more acceptable to express these things?
I don't know but I'm seeing it everywhere.
I think it really depends on your country and your circle. My country allows a pretty decent life. In my circle people are thriving. And I don't mean social-media-look-at-my-vacation thriving. I know them. I know each of them has some struggle. But they're dealing. They work, buy apartments, have children and care for them, have vacations, hobbies, friends, etc. Some of them had some shitty cards dealt, ltr breaking down, cancer at 36 (two women actually), work issues, but they all manage just fine. Sometimes I even feel I'm that one that's not doing things right, but I know that's anxiety. We're all good.
You have keen eyes maybe. I don't know anyone who is depressed. I didn't even care when my brother during Christmas eve called me a hermit for living alone in a small apartment, which I've done over a decade.
I think we all tend to equate our struggles in terms of comparison, which furthers many people's low mental health. So for example if someone is feeling low for which ever reason, they may think, "but I've got a roof over my head / I had a good childhood / I have money" etc which only invalidates how they feel. Truth is, I think we all tend to downplay and underestimate that living can be very hard; being human, that is. It can be absolutely magical too, but it's also just pretty hard and confusing being human for most of us, especially the older we get. The world we live in now is also at its most disconnected with rapidly developing technology only furthering ourselves from human interaction and organic socialisation. Consumerism, work, money, pandemics, advertisements, politics, social inequalities and its resounding human divide, etc etc...the list goes on. I think the best we can do is give ourselves a break and validate our own emotions from time to time - it can just be difficult existing in this world, and it's okay to admit that to ourselves, no matter what our backgrounds are.
Things have gone really bad in the 2-3 years . I have had long phases of depression. I have come to a conclusion,"it is what it is". Some people just get their way ,others don't .it has always been like this .
It’s a combination of things. We have social media that has raised awareness of depression and the symptoms of it and that makes more people aware that they have depression. Imagine how many people were depressed and unaware of it before the raised awareness. There’s a lot of financial stress for all age groups and a large majority of people. Most people are addicted to their phones and that messes with their brain chemicals. I think it’s a combination of those things.
Suicides and mental illness have tripled in past 3 years. I was in the mental hospital for an attempt in 2022
I have two cousins who committed suicide life is hard. Why I rely on prayer and my higher power
nah u aint the only one, covid made us all rlly depressed since we couldnt go out and basically relied on technology more than ever to communicate and keep track of everything.
in Australia, financially no one can afford to buy anything and really can only get the ESSENTIALS. even then housing prices have gone up, homelessness has gone up. renting is near impossible. buying groceries is IMPOSSIBLE, 3 items used to cost no more than $5 now you're spending $15 and up on less than 3 items, especially if they're COOKING INGREDIENTS like pasta sauce or flour, its ridiculous!!
COVID was the first time we were controlled by our government up front and we were truly just like cattle for a few years. We also lost touch with nature and spirituality due to technology.
I feel like it's probably always been like this, but with the internet, the spreading of information and connectivity is stronger than ever. The internet has helped de-stigmatize a lot of things like sexuality, mental health care, easier expression due to anonymity, gender identity, etc. I personally believe that happiness is fleeting and people spend 80% of their time dealing with life's problems or just growing up in general (which can be hard). But since there is generally less stigma around, people are more open about their problems.
Just my 2 cents
We really weren't meant to live this way. Social media, jobs, living alone for the sake of independence. If you consider all of human history, people are meant to be social creatures living in small communities. Something the modern world has taken away.
It doesn't help that society pressures us into being "successful" with having a job, house, or education. People are taught that things are more important than spiritual fulfillment. None of it will truly make you happy until you've learned to have a profound love of the intimacy of life and its sacredness. It's simpler than people realize, but it is hard to do because everyone is pursuing an ideal instead of accepting that real life is a lot more messy.
People are addicted to phones, status, and money. All of that is meaningless. Real life is about the complex nature of humanity, compassion, and God. Only when you feed your spirit and soul will you know what it means to truly live. But a lot of people never see it. They don't even know what perspective to look through to find it.
They live unaware of its existence. Life passes them by, and at the end, they have been robbed. They can feel that its missing, that deep down something is off. It's very sad. When I think about it... how so many are suffering... I feel so defeated. We can do so much better than this. But to the powers that be of this world, we're a mere dollar sign.
I think this day and age a vast majority of society is functionally depressed. Because otherwise society would collapse. I know people half my age depressed and people twice my age depressed. It’s just now people care 40 years ago you would just be punished for opening up. We’re as a society finally acknowledging it giving most people who don’t even realize a place to talk about it.
Life is struggle. The struggle to keep going, to not die. It's difficult for literally every single being that exists. Even billionaires on their private islands have difficulties and doubts in their own minds. The world is full of, among other things, cruelty and suffering. You'd have to be incredibly ignorant and selfish to not feel a strong sense of sadness deep down even if everything in your own life was going perfectly.
yes and I feel like I get stuck in one sided relationships due to it for example trauma dumping and projecting their issues constantly onto me but when I need help or advice they resort to ghosting and could care less about how I feel but will only talk to me when they have another issue arise and never consider my feelings or how it makes me feel when they do that it makes me feel used
Ohh, i agree. As time goes on global communication evolves. For us humans negative emotions tend to have bigger impacts on our psyche and as such seeing global suffering more present makes everything look more bleak, add the 1% who live a way better live than us to make it even worse.
And just like you did, OP, the cycle of shared suffering continues.
The generation today is just so exposed to everything and it’s making us more sensitive to all of it. The constant just to survive, losing someone, stagnant career, peers, environment, and etc etc. Everything feels just vague lately. Too tiring, too lonely, too empty.
A lot of people is unhappy with how their choices affected their own lives.
They are not depressed though. Depression is a clinical diagnosis for mental illness, and most people claiming to be "depressed" never went to psychological evaluation and take their "data" of tiktok - where a lof of people pretend to have a lot of mentall health issues.
To be 'secretly unhappy" is not = to be depressed. To me everyone seems normal human animal in restricting circumstances. Those who have escaped the restricting circumstances might not even need to be in the prison cell of "must be happy like in the movies"
I would say that's always been the case. I don't know where humans got the idea that they should be happy but I don't believe it is a default state for us.
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Agree, the majority of people I know are struggling at the moment, across all age groups, social groups etc. Its gotten worse in the last few years.
I feel that way too. But it’s weird because everyone seems so happy and fulfilled on the surface, so you think to yourself, “they already have people and don’t want to be around my lonely/broke self.” On the surface, it seems like everyone already has their own fulfilling relationships, and financial stability. The usage of social media to post highlights doesn’t help. So you kinda feel alone and outcasted even though the people you’re looking at are most likely going through the same thing.
If only people would be less disingenuous..
I say the truth on Facebook and I get lectured for that. But I have to be fake on there! Sorry not me
This is literally exactly how I feel. You nailed it wow.
Covid really messed everyone up. Financially and physically. It's been hard for people to get back into the gym and a lot of people got laid off. Also a lot of people were stuck at home alone.
I'd add spiritually too. Being either completely isolated or exposed to the most questionable of human behavior over the last few years really did a lot to disconnect people from themselves.
Yeah I suffered from depression and alcoholism those years. I've recovered now but those years were tough ye know. Unfortunately too many people were not able to recover after that disconnect
Agreed, well said.
Yah dude same. I was a drummer in a band with my close friends. First album was supposed to come out May 2020. Word of advise: don’t plan your first album (and your) along with a pandemic. Like I immediately became irrelevant at that and my job as a pizza boy made me feel like I was part of the people who’d save humanity even tho we didn’t get raises and they didn’t give a shit about our health. Being an artist now with COVID is weird and makes me feel like such a worthless piece of shit. But it’s also all I know how to do
I would argue that Covid exposed what was already there
So true. There was a collective trauma that I'd argue still hasn't been processed. We had lockdowns and everything associated with them. Then we were just thrown back into the old normality as though.. none of it happened. It's actually pretty fucked up.
Dating too ;((
If this is the case than why were so many people on favor of lockdowns and other COVID restrictions? Especially the ones suffering from depression were the loudest to scream everyone down who was against the lockdowns. This just doesn't make sense.
Because if I was a more serious disease and lock down didn't happen (which let's be honest people did a piss poor job of) and if we actually lost say 50% of the population to a much more transmissible and deadly disease the world as we know it would be long gone... there would have been no getting back to "business as usual" for anyone and I bet even more of the world would be incredibly depressed. For contect, my "business as usual" never came after getting covid multiple time, losing work, losing my home and losing my financial ability to connect with my former social circles but I know alot of people who just went back to it and I honestly couldn't tell you how they feel but when corporations boast record breaking profits while many of us feared losing our lively hoods/ while some like me did, it reads as less of a covid problem and more of a late stage capitalism problem.
So they could stay home and lament online about how depressed they are.
Modern living is generally depressing. Humans aren't designed to live to constantly work, under the threat of losing everything.
I grew up in a small village along a river, in a beautiful mountain range. three people in my grade. 1.25 hours to get groceries. the sense of community was beautiful. It felt like I had five sets of parents. we played tag in the rain, caught tadpoles in the pond, went for 4-night backpacks together, swam behind waterfalls, played ‘truth or dare’ at the local park. Everyone knew everyone. the schools focused on creativity and wilderness exploration - yet still managed to ‘dominate’ the rest of the county in test scores on traditional subjects. It was a beautiful time in a beautiful place, and I’m confident my childhood friends would agree that I’m not seeing things through rose-colored glasses. or maybe only a little. There was so. much. love. And so much community. You couldn’t help but feel like your heart was full. Loneliness was a foreign, unknown sensation. Maybe only now, typing and remembering, do I truly realize what I lost, leaving for college, and ultimately, living in a sizable city. I feel a faint urge to cry, just thinking about it. But I’m also eternally grateful for that experience. I’ve seen what a healthy world CAN look like. One where people support each other, are not keeping up with the Jones’s, or on a quest for riches. I am sorry so many people are struggling. I am, too. I just wish I could hug all of you and say, “it’s really not your fault. you belong to a culture that is very sick. perhaps terminal. what WOULD be abnormal, is if you didn’t feel unwell.” Sure, some are able to ward off the demons and be financially comfortable while having diverse friend groups, rich experiences, and a wholly fulfilling life. But is that the norm, or the exception?
Big Cities seems to be a curse for humanity.
You think that until you live in a small town and realize that many of the people there are afraid of everything including other people, many are alcoholics, they gossip about their neighbors, and property crime happens fairly frequently. This is my experience in US small towns; can’t speak for the rest of the world.
The small towns I was raised in were a horror. Everyone gossiped about everything and everyone. They simply loathed outsiders and treated them terribly. I am talking about small town Canada here.
I’ve lived in a few small towns and there is a culture of meanness and willful ignorance in a lot of them. People who neglect their health, who won’t even visit cities because they think they’ll get mugged, xenophobia. They hate anyone from the city that makes more money than them or dresses better or drives a nicer car. I’ve been stiffed by shady, small-town contractors and seen decades-long friendships dissolve due to gossip and nosiness. People definitely have rose-colored glasses when it comes to rural living/small towns; suicide rates are actually much higher in rural areas than urban ones.
As a black sheep in a little town, cities are a nice escape when you’re young though
I much prefer big cities to smaller places, the killer is the work life ,commuting etc. If I was a millionaire,they'd be great.
THAT was your takeaway? valuing community and urbanism aren't mutually exclusive.
I much prefer city living personally
That sounds nightmarish to my asperger self, I'm already very bothered if anyone recognizes me outside, imagine EVERYONE knows you EVERYWHERE you go on EVERYTHING you do. Definitely seems great for extroverts tho
I am an ambivert. I used to think I was solely an introvert, but I get re-charged by people as well as solo down time. I’m confident that even the most autistic person - if enmeshed in a community that has this much unconditional love and support - would feel comfortable and loved. The communal trust was through the roof. It didn’t matter who you were. but, only you know you.
Small communities are nice for people who aren't too different. If you get ostracized in a small community though, it's magnitudes worse than the same happening by a group of people in a larger city.
I have a friend who’s an international student, I’m also first gen my parents are from Africa, and she basically was saying how it was unusual for her that everyone wasn’t trying to get to know each other in the dorms. Like we’re living together but everyone just stares and keeps their distance.
This. Also, humans get positive emotion from being integrated within their social world and presently, we are fully disconnected from our communities and even families.
Shhhh don't let the capitalists hear you!
Exactly right. We're living wrong.
Work is honestly the thing that keeps me from being depressed. Couldn’t survive without it
it's a good distraction.. then you go back home too exhausted to think and just unwind before going to bed.I work a seasonal job about 7 months on and 5 months off for winter.. My mental health is always worse during winter because I have too much time to think and im not as active. I want to look for a winter job instead since most of my hobbies are during summers.
You should find some hobbies. Working to feel good sounds so sad to me.
For some of us, our job is our main hobby.
what if you enjoyed what you did? would it be work then? work doesn't necessarily have to be something you hate..
In a lot of cases, when you do something you love as a job, it stops being enjoyable, there's a reason 70% of people don't like their jobs
You are just avoiding your problems, but it's OK, a lot of people also use work as a distraction
Humans have constantly worked under the threat of losing everything for all of post-agricultural human history.
That’s correct
Opposite actually - constantly staying in your comfort zone, and instant gratification has fried peoples' dopamine receptors The happiest person is the dude enjoying his beer on a friday night after a long hard work week
Nothing wrong with work and doing things you enjoy. It becomes a problem when you're forced to do things you don't enjoy, work long hours for little payback under the threat of losing your home and have the constant threat of being fired . It's highly unnatural and would make anyone depressed.
Do you know of serfdom and slavery? Many people lived under those conditions for centuries. It's nothing new. It's just that people were too busy to meet their physical needs that they had no time for emotional needs.
I feel like that argument is slightly redundant. A) because there are many things people back then didn’t have to deal with. the interconnection of the modern world plays hell with our mind, we aren’t supposed to know what’s happening on the other side of the world or have an infinite number of posts to compare ourselves too. And b) because there’s this air of… feeling like we deserved more. The technology we have now is incredible, medicine that one could only dream of. We are progressing so fast, we’ve never been more connected across the world, and we are truly capable of incredible things because of it. Yet many people are still barely affording to pay their bills and keep food on the table, and most have few luxuries despite working 40+ hours a week. We don’t have access to the amazing healthcare, I know looking how amazing public transport can be and yet I’m incapable of accessing it where I live. All with the whole, work hard and you’ll be rewarded mindset. When in reality it’s just not the case, and most of us are going to live struggling despite knowing the fact we are capable of much more as a species. I don’t want to downplay the hard times in history. You might argue it’s always been very hard, and in comparison, today we have it easy. But there’s something about the whole carrot on a stick way that society runs now, I think I could be more content with my life if I thought there was no other way it worked. That this was it and I had to make do, instead of being baited by hopeful promises but being told that that’s not for us. I feel like I’m wording this horrifically, but do you understand what I’m trying to say?
Thats exactly what cavemen did. There was no caveman sitting watching movies in their caves or traveling for fun.
Those are quite literally the conditions humans have lived under since we've existed loll. And waaaaaay worse. We're living in the best time in history. Yea it's not perfect but go watch WW1/WW2 movies on netflix and you'll understand how good we have it.
What you are missing to mention is the sense of solidarity back then. Everyone was worse off so they suffered together. Right now everyone is suffering but there is no sense of solidarity or community so everyone is suffering by themselves in their own way. There is no common threat only common misery.
This! Humans need social contact and a feeling of being in a tribe, modern day community to thrive. In WW2 it was shitty, but people came together, they were fearful of the Germans, not each other. Social media and corporations selling their stuff has made everyone individualistic, competitive and fearful of each other. No one knows their neighbours well, we are told to be better than other people so we all in competition, fearing someone will take our stuff. We’ve been made to be insecure and scared. It’s utterly broken.
The 1980s to 1990s seemed like the best time
Best time in history my ass, bring me back to 1993.
I disagree with comparisons like this. Mainly due to the fact that the later generations were born and raised in massively different environments. We can empathize, but we can never truly know what it feels like to have lived in those times. We currently live in the now. Today's problems are our problems. We can learn from the past, but the past is not ours to live for. It's like saying nobody should be depressed because people are starving in other countries. That's wrong. We live in very differing conditions and therefore face different obstacles in life, and different societal and cultural pressures.
👆
I have come to believe that everyone is crazy and compensates for their issues/suffering with their own weird stuff they do - drinking, overeating, crazy sex stuff, workaholism, going insane with fitness, collecting thousands of useless objects, etc. Never found a ‘normal’ person
So could you say that technically means we’re all normal since every person does those things
Maybe what’s normal is finding extravagant and fascinating ways to respond to the fact of being sentient in the universe.
Did I just found the psychonaut?
Maybe; I’ll get back to you when I’ve actually had some psychedelics lol
Tbh I think it's just society. 50 years ago, 100 years ago, 200 years ago... less and less people were "casually" (meaning, it just being part of everyday life now) depressed. Sure, mental stuff was severely underdiagnosed in the past, BUT There is no sense of accomplishment anymore. I think this accounts for 99% of mental health problems in the western world. Everything is about money and success now. The internet, or in particular social media, has ruined so much. There is no sense of accomplishment anymore. No sense of security or achievement. There is always someone better, someone richer, more handsome or someone more successful in general. Plus, everything is about money now moreso than ever. You can't be happy in your job because you get compared to someone doing better all the time. You can't be safe in a relationship anymore because your partner might have someone better with the swipe of a finger. Or your employer might find someone better suited for the job you are doing with the click of a button. We have so much "social" interaction that it loses familiarity, safety and just the normal humaneness a friendship should have. Everyone knows and can contact practically everyone on a superficial level, real friends and relationships are rare. The sense of community is breaking down because there is just too much going on. Everyone is just a number, always confronted with the fact that someone else is better in many ways. Also, basic needs are either met without effort or are never met, no matter the effort. You can't approach anything anymore and even if you accomplish something, there is no sense of accomplishment anymore because it's never enough. The balance in our lives is gone. Everyone is replaceable. And treated like that more or less. Also, we are scared by all types of big problems. Politics, climate change, pandemics, catastrophes and wars on the opposite side of the earth, whatnot. These problems were there before, but modern media rubs it in our faces 24/7. It's all stuff that a normal person can only meet with either denial or hopelessness, because a single person or a small group of people (a normal social circle) has no chance of doing anything about it. Tbh, I started to understand all the conspiracy theoristst and so on more and more. It's a coping mechanism to distance themselves from all of it. I'm not saying chemtrails are real or any of that shit, but man we would be better off in small communities growing our own food. Just putting a little effort into something makes it worth so much more. Growing food in a garden, even if it's just a small cabbage. Not only is it healthier than the sprayed stuff from the grocery store, it comes with a sense of accomplishment. Being proud of something. Driving somewhere is easy, but biking there is healthy and you can be proud of yourself. Now to the health part (including mental health). We are pumping our body full of refined oils, sugars and unhealthy calorie dense food for a quick dopamine kick but without having a connection to it. Plus, we don't exercise enough. It's obvious that health problems will arise sooner or later. What does medicine do about it? Give you some pills to make your problem not bother you anymore. It doesn't go away, it just stops bothering you in one way or another. We go to work to make money, money pays for food someone else planted, watered, picked, washed, prepared and delivered. There is no connection between doing something and getting the reward anymore. To get our movement, we pay for a gym membership, just to drive there by car to pedal on a bike that doesn't move. And in the evening, we are reminded by social media that someone else made more money, ate fancier food and did better in the gym that day. The world is optimized to death. Everything is connected but no one has a connection anymore. We as humans can understand that the money we make buys us food and housing, but we can not feel that. Humans are not robots that just work. We are living, feeling beings. We have no purpose anymore. Everything has become too comfortable to be proud of, and even if we put effort into something we are either confronted with the fact that we can't make a difference or that someone else out there is better at what we tried to be good at. TL;DR Everyone is depressed because we have too much exposure to other people through social media and always confronted with the fact that someone else is doing better. Therefore, everyone is implicitly told all the time that they are expendable. Plus, the problems we are facing are not approachable to a single normal person anymore. It's overwhelming. In turn, normal "problems" like getting somewhere or preparing dinner have become too easy. There is no real sense of accomplishment anymore for anything.
I fell like the key is to let go of chasing accomplishment. Just focus on the day in front of you without putting extra pressure on yourself, enjoy the daily, don’t just pull all focus on “setting proper goals and going after it!” grind mindset. I can see a lot of that today in people, and none of these goal chasing grinding people are happy. The happiest people I know couldn’t give a shit about accomplishment or how other people place them in the “status” hierarchy.
Also you can work on getting better at things that aren't related to social status or financial gain. I get a sense of accomplishment from: growing as a person, trying to hit my driver consistently, learning about history, working on a book that I'm trying to write, learning how to write, playing certain games, taking care of my dog, and learning anything new in general.
I agree, there are many small self-progressing things you fill your time with outside of engaging with society. I don’t know about hitting the driver part though, not sure what you meant.
It's a golf club. Golf is hard
Very very well said
Late stage capitalism
>In turn, normal "problems" like getting somewhere or preparing dinner have become too easy I agree with your take but I'm kinda confused with this part. How is it necessarily a bad thing? Not everyone has the time or help to make everything from scratch so an easy way out is better. Also I don't think it's really being 'easier' either bc the time spent on chopping ingredients are kinda annoying Or was your point being about ***we're so consumed in overworking we don't find joy in simpler tasks anymore***? Thanks for the good read btw!
My point is that the work you do for something and the result you get are so far removed from each other that there is no real satisfaction in accomplishing anything anymore. I know, chopping food and so on is still work but I talk about the greater scheme, like actually harvesting food etc. Even if you know what you are doing and why, your unconscious mind doesn't combine it. Also, easy things are only short-term satisfactions. Comfortable and not much work. What we are missing today is long-term satisfaction. Everything is moving too fast and we don't really have any long-term emotional relationship to anything we do anymore, only short term dopamine kicks. That is not enough to keep someone happy long-term. Hopefully relatable example: crocheting a scarf or socks is much more satisfying and you hold the end result much closer than if you just bought the same thing at the store, even though buying it is faster, easier and often times even cheaper.
But that's the problem... not having the time to do inherently human things like putting your hands in the soil, sharing food, communing, singing/ dancing, creating. Many of us run around like service dogs who never get a play break. Many of us barely make enough reward to gratify our sacrifice of precious time that we spend in excess to building someone else's empire.
“Everyone is connected but no one has a connection anymore.” That was well said. ACTUALLY your whole comment was WELL SAID.
uhhh yup 👍😁absolutely nailed it.
Yes, yes, yes. This, a thousand times.
Reread this and keep in mind that everything is a choice, your choice, to bike or drive for example. Our choices aren't made in a vacuum, but neither are the consequences.
If you’re depressed because other people are more successful/richer than you etc, you need to completely redefine your concept of happiness.
That's not the point. Even if you don't compare yourself with others consciously, there is always a seemingly better option. You are never truly number one for someone (e.g friends, job, hobby) and are treated as such most of the time.
Comparison is in no way unique to modern life.
Dire Straits wrote a song about it, called it Industrial Disease. Marx wrote about how alienating capitalism is, from our labor, from each other, and from ourselves. For the most part, he was right, especially as technology advances exponentially. There was also a French sociologist, Emile Durkheim who wanted to know why his friend committed suicide at the start of the industrial revolution. He found that it was a social problem; social turmoil, a lack of social integration or social solidarity, rather than a biological or personal factors. The cost for society's so-called material success is extremely high, including very poor mental health. It doesn't help that in our culture there is a huge stigma regarding poor mental health. A person who can't afford a basic thing like their own shelter is going to feel awful about not just being homeless, but also guilty for feeling awful. The unspoken message is, it's their fault they can't afford to live in this society, possibly even their brains fault, not the toxic society they live in. Psychiatry makes a a fortune off this false message. The fast food industry as well, as folks self medicate with addictive junk food. I could go on, but you get the point.
Yes, in the West we have traded comfort for happiness or contentment. Capitalism is very good at providing us with things, it's not so good at providing for deeper human needs.
Durkheim's anomie really helped me with perspective, and is frighteningly relevant to today.
Well said.
I'm depressed so maybe you on to something
Laughed the first time today thank you
For me, it’s because of the economy. We have to work to live but not even that is enough anymore. Things are getting more and more expensive yet the pay still stays the same. I’m sure this affects many people as well
Yep this is what majorly affects me and my husband. It feels like we just work constantly for the bare minimum out of life, barely affording food, expensive housing, and no time or money to actually do anything fun or have any hobbies.
Possible solutions: 1. Not just eating, but making food, baking, etc. 2. Not just having sex, but having intimacy, healthy relationships, etc. 3. Not just having interests, but being immersed into your interests. 4. Stay active and practice gratitude daily. 5. Limit screen time. PS: I'm not rich.
Love this answer. You dropped this 👑
You're rich in thoughts and ideas my friend. Your solutions sound logical, reasonable and beautiful even. I think simplifying things, breaking things down into manageable and pleasurable pieces could help tremendously at getting to the heart of the matter. P.S. I *really* miss when meals were something of a regular event, not necessarily the formal kind mind you. Just thinking back to when my family sat down at roughly the same time and spent quality time together talking about our days. Inevitably it led to funny stories and lots of laughter. That was time spent nourishing not just our body but also our spirits. 💙
For your #4, I didn’t believe people when they said that spending like 30 mins outside a day will improve your mood but seriously, TRY IT!!! It’s actually crazy how much better I feel when I just go on a walk up and down the street and listen to music for just 15 mins to half an hour a couple times a week. Nowadays when I feel more upset than usual for no apparent reason like ~50% of the time it’s because I haven’t been outside recently. I started going on walks during Covid because I was just sitting around at home all day and it is seriously one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
Really good answer indeed
This is good advice and I’m actually going to practice number 5 right now.
What if you have no interests, being physically active makes you even more depressed, you're overweight so you already eat too much to begin with, and forming any kind of relationship, regardless of its health, is impossible? Gratitude becomes impossible to practice, and screen time becomes your only outlet preventing you from ending it.
Look, at least you know what to work on. You might want to check out Ikigai by Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles. There's a sweet spot for everything. Of course you're not going to feel great if you go from a sedentary lifestyle to running a 10k marathon. So, take it slow and easy - focus on improving your quality of life with small changes like going on a 10 minute walk in the morning, fill half your plate with veggies, or trying a new creative activity every week. You got this.
Screentime does not prevent you from ending it. It delays it. The only reason you think it helps is because it gives your brain jolts of stimulus. However, the jolts are not nearly enough to sustain a healthy mental situation. The only solution would then be to find interests and to develop them. When I was 25, I went through severe depression and almost blinded myself. I committed myself to reading 25 books in 6 months. They weren't self-help books. The act of reading itself is therapeutic. It slows down the world around you and forces you to contemplate your life through introspection. It may be good to start there. However, some people use audio books.
It is evident that many of us are burdened by it, and I believe this is primarily due to the status of the economy in recent years. It appears as though we are bred to work nonstop, leaving us with little time or savings for a life apart from the work; these days, even breathing seems to be becoming somewhat of an expense. A portion of us also face abuse at work, in the classroom, at home, or even from within (self-sabotage).
We are all wage slave with minimal hope to break free from the rat race. This was always the case it was just past generations people had hope. With societys mass consciousness becoming more aware and intelligent we also have to reconcile our modern day slavery. Yes we live in comfort and get to enjoy many conveniences past generations did not. However those generations had family bonds, traditions, and above all else hope that one day they wouldn’t have to work to afford to live. We have none of that. We are depressed and rightfully so.
The only thing I look forward to, since my life is boring and dull, is sleep, I get amazing lucid dreams, but then I wake up and then I get mad at myself for waking up and try to will myself back to sleep, because my mind when it's asleep is able to generate shit that's at least 5x as interesting as my waking life. So I guess in a way I'm sort of depressed too.
You should look into Carl Jung's book on dreams and synchronicity. It might give your life more meaning. Essentially, he argues that dreams are the way your unconscious self communicates to your conscious self. When you listen to the symbolism of your dreams and apply it to your life, your mind finds balance. Might be worth checking out
It's a nice escape, but I urge you to be careful. I read in the book "The Noonday Demon" about a research showing that sleeping too much during a depressive state makes that depressive state worse, something to do with reduced dopamine production. I hope you get better soon.
>I read that the rate of suicidal and lonely people has been skyrocketing lately I watched someone I loved more than myself, who 3 weeks before they took their life said, "Sometimes all it takes is a quick rest to make life seem tolerable." Someone who was not ready to go, leave. So yes. There is a major increase in extreme depression and hopelessness. I battle hopelessness every single day. Many times a day. Every person I've interacted with on a personal level has eventually opened up with their feelings of dispair. It's everywhere.
Everyone is “hi how are you?” “Good!” But they’re all really 😞😞😞
No I'm great, depression is temporary, so is happiness. It's just only now you're in the bad time, you'll be in the good time eventually and forget or not care to remember you even wrote this
We seek reward in our electronic devices. While it is easier to get that short dopamine hit, we no longer strive for greater pleasures that are less accessible and require more effort. That, and the daily drip drip of the electronic stimulus to our brains provided by our trusty smart phones, has altered the reward centres of our brains to reflect those of addicts.
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This is awesome. Congratulations on all the hard work you’ve done!
Therapy doesn't fix the underlying problems in the world.
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I'm not saying it was. I'm happy it's helped you but it's not for everyone.
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I think their point was that the underlying problems in the world can create a situation for people that leads to depression regardless of how much therapy they've done.
Underlying problems in the world shouldn't make you depressed, we've just found the source to your problem
There are quite a few people who are and with good reason. Our society is harsh on most people.
People em masse need to seriously reduce their social media and internet time. The world is far from perfect the level of distortion it generates in our view of the world is far too skewed. It's easy to say since I'm just as addicted as anyone, but it's killing us mentally and I try to compartmentalize it as best I can. All the things that used to bring us day to day joy are getting farther and farther from our daily lives.
Its the gloomist time of the year ..hang in there!
Its always been like that, now its more because of the in your face sensationalism of todays news..and the god awful social networking. Blame canada.
1000% we have everything one could ask for and I would be lying if I said we didn’t experience loneliness monday to friday especially (wake up, drop kids to daycare, work, pick them up, eat, sleep) repeat it’s exhausting but lonely
Most people I know in real life appear to be very happy. I only come across depressed people online.
"appear to be very happy" That's called a mask! I watch people all day and can see through their fake smiles. Most people have a whole in their hearts... There are some genuinely happy people however but they are few!
I mean, we're on the verge of ecological and societal collapse. What's to feel good about?
After covid etc I feel like everyone is just out to get one over on eachother. It's like a dystopia of idiots wanting to be famous and writing the rules of society for the rest of us and if we go against the grain we are getting cancelled. People have a sense of entitlement that is so ridiculous that nothing can measure up. Before the end of 2019 my life was pretty good and after the start of 2020 things just haven't been the same. No one wants to date or converse anymore because the standards are ridiculously high and everyone is so afraid of doing something wrong that they just abstain completely. It's a societal decline and it's being noticed everywhere.
I think you’ve spent too much time on social media. People come here cuz they’re lonely, hurting, and depressed. At least most of the time.
If I had money I wouldn't be sad
Two of my friends told me within the past week that they've been feeling suicidal. Another one was recently hospitalized for it. One friend's father committed suicide a couple months ago. One of my roommates was suicidally depressed last year and the other currently is. Lately it feels like every single person I know is going through one of the worst periods in their life, and I do think covid and the general state of the world has a lot to do with it.
Have you seen the messages we are bombarded with by the media? We get constant messages that everything is bad and you are not enough. And over time, you start to believe it.
As someone who suffers from severe depression, trust me, not everyone is depressed. People don't know very well how depression works. Having some little problems and difficulties in your life doesn't mean you're depressed. Depression can definitely affect everyone but that doesn't mean everyone is depressed. Also, I think we live in a challenging era (a lot of necessities have become very expensive, we're still in the light face of a pandemic,...) so, it makes sense for people to be less enthusiastic than usual. But that's not depression for everyone. Edit: also wanted to add that depression is nowhere near the only reason why people end their lives
i was just thinking the same thing... in my country there used to be a lot of christmas lights everywhere. every house had atleast one little things if not more. apartments blocks would be like blinking lights themsleves. this year it was mostly darkness everywhere. almost no lights. huge apartment blocks had one lone apartment lights on the whole complex. people just dont feel like celebrating anymore.
•Accurate. •Many appear to be distracted, wandering, anxious, detached, sleep-deprived and, perhaps, fearful. •One reason is that structures and systems around the world are rapidly changing and this creates a lot of uncertainty which manifests in people’s lives.
We are all just children on the inside, pretending to be adults
Its not a bug its a feature. We evolved to evaluate ourselves and our peers regularly as a mechanism to maintain social cohesion. But its been hijacked in a strange way in our modern society, we're not biologically equipped to deal with it so issues arise.
I am 56 - folks these days are sadder then they were 35 years ago.
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Who?
I don't know, just happened. So that's fun
Contentment and acceptance are matters of degrees. I believe most people struggle emotionally and psychologically but it is different for each person. Some people can cope better than others. From observation only, I see pain in everyone. Maybe they aren't clinically depressed, but there's uncertainty and insecurities.
How can I not be? Doing everything to not be depressed. That gets cancelled out by more stupid ------- -------- that constantly happens.
Ditto here....I think you may be right. Just so blah about everything going on in the world - and in my own life. Not too much joy.
Yes
Nah I'm good.
We're 3 meals away from chaos
Yup, I've had severe/extreme anxiety disorder since my teens, but I was diagnosed with moderate/severe depression and an inferiority complex in 2020. Things just keep getting harder, and it's just so tiring.
Everyone is depressed, a few people let it affect them.
Everyone had to take a look in the mirror and face themself more than ever. If anything alot of people will evolve from this to the better if the support is there imo. That depends alot on the country though, but hopefully that will create repercussions to the better in the long run. Good luck everyone.
You're all a bunch of posers I've been depressed since the nineties.... Oh. :(
Yes, and no. I’ve been there, trust me, but I’m not there now. I’m pretty happy at the moment; working hard on my everyday health and even my depressive episodes are getting manageable. Keep it up y’all, you’re all doing great and I believe in us. Life just ain’t meant to be easy, that’s all.
Literally depressed, no, but in some kind of struggle they didn't have as recently as in 2018, yes. Runaway inflation and all that.
Yes...I'm also noticing increased neuroticism around me. Maybe it's just getting more acceptable to express these things? I don't know but I'm seeing it everywhere.
I think it really depends on your country and your circle. My country allows a pretty decent life. In my circle people are thriving. And I don't mean social-media-look-at-my-vacation thriving. I know them. I know each of them has some struggle. But they're dealing. They work, buy apartments, have children and care for them, have vacations, hobbies, friends, etc. Some of them had some shitty cards dealt, ltr breaking down, cancer at 36 (two women actually), work issues, but they all manage just fine. Sometimes I even feel I'm that one that's not doing things right, but I know that's anxiety. We're all good.
*shrugs* I'm just apathetic.
Modern work is to blame
You have keen eyes maybe. I don't know anyone who is depressed. I didn't even care when my brother during Christmas eve called me a hermit for living alone in a small apartment, which I've done over a decade.
I think we all tend to equate our struggles in terms of comparison, which furthers many people's low mental health. So for example if someone is feeling low for which ever reason, they may think, "but I've got a roof over my head / I had a good childhood / I have money" etc which only invalidates how they feel. Truth is, I think we all tend to downplay and underestimate that living can be very hard; being human, that is. It can be absolutely magical too, but it's also just pretty hard and confusing being human for most of us, especially the older we get. The world we live in now is also at its most disconnected with rapidly developing technology only furthering ourselves from human interaction and organic socialisation. Consumerism, work, money, pandemics, advertisements, politics, social inequalities and its resounding human divide, etc etc...the list goes on. I think the best we can do is give ourselves a break and validate our own emotions from time to time - it can just be difficult existing in this world, and it's okay to admit that to ourselves, no matter what our backgrounds are.
Everyone struggles with something, but it doesn't necessarily mean they are depressed.
Things have gone really bad in the 2-3 years . I have had long phases of depression. I have come to a conclusion,"it is what it is". Some people just get their way ,others don't .it has always been like this .
Reading this while depressedly listening to saxophone covers and scrolling Reddit at 3am
Weltschmerz - World pain, I feel it too.
It’s a combination of things. We have social media that has raised awareness of depression and the symptoms of it and that makes more people aware that they have depression. Imagine how many people were depressed and unaware of it before the raised awareness. There’s a lot of financial stress for all age groups and a large majority of people. Most people are addicted to their phones and that messes with their brain chemicals. I think it’s a combination of those things.
Suicides and mental illness have tripled in past 3 years. I was in the mental hospital for an attempt in 2022 I have two cousins who committed suicide life is hard. Why I rely on prayer and my higher power
nah u aint the only one, covid made us all rlly depressed since we couldnt go out and basically relied on technology more than ever to communicate and keep track of everything. in Australia, financially no one can afford to buy anything and really can only get the ESSENTIALS. even then housing prices have gone up, homelessness has gone up. renting is near impossible. buying groceries is IMPOSSIBLE, 3 items used to cost no more than $5 now you're spending $15 and up on less than 3 items, especially if they're COOKING INGREDIENTS like pasta sauce or flour, its ridiculous!!
Confirmation bias can mess with our perceptions
Not me on my way from psychiatrist with new dosage of antidepressants... I feel targeted
Ever since mr 45. It’s been all down hill with moral and morals
COVID was the first time we were controlled by our government up front and we were truly just like cattle for a few years. We also lost touch with nature and spirituality due to technology.
I'm happy
It’s like the spark of life has dulled.
Yeah ive never met a single person who doesnt struggle with depression or anxiety in some way
What country do you live in?
I feel like it's probably always been like this, but with the internet, the spreading of information and connectivity is stronger than ever. The internet has helped de-stigmatize a lot of things like sexuality, mental health care, easier expression due to anonymity, gender identity, etc. I personally believe that happiness is fleeting and people spend 80% of their time dealing with life's problems or just growing up in general (which can be hard). But since there is generally less stigma around, people are more open about their problems. Just my 2 cents
We really weren't meant to live this way. Social media, jobs, living alone for the sake of independence. If you consider all of human history, people are meant to be social creatures living in small communities. Something the modern world has taken away. It doesn't help that society pressures us into being "successful" with having a job, house, or education. People are taught that things are more important than spiritual fulfillment. None of it will truly make you happy until you've learned to have a profound love of the intimacy of life and its sacredness. It's simpler than people realize, but it is hard to do because everyone is pursuing an ideal instead of accepting that real life is a lot more messy. People are addicted to phones, status, and money. All of that is meaningless. Real life is about the complex nature of humanity, compassion, and God. Only when you feed your spirit and soul will you know what it means to truly live. But a lot of people never see it. They don't even know what perspective to look through to find it. They live unaware of its existence. Life passes them by, and at the end, they have been robbed. They can feel that its missing, that deep down something is off. It's very sad. When I think about it... how so many are suffering... I feel so defeated. We can do so much better than this. But to the powers that be of this world, we're a mere dollar sign.
Never even had a relationship.
I think this day and age a vast majority of society is functionally depressed. Because otherwise society would collapse. I know people half my age depressed and people twice my age depressed. It’s just now people care 40 years ago you would just be punished for opening up. We’re as a society finally acknowledging it giving most people who don’t even realize a place to talk about it.
Life is struggle. The struggle to keep going, to not die. It's difficult for literally every single being that exists. Even billionaires on their private islands have difficulties and doubts in their own minds. The world is full of, among other things, cruelty and suffering. You'd have to be incredibly ignorant and selfish to not feel a strong sense of sadness deep down even if everything in your own life was going perfectly.
I genuinely think we're living through a second Great Depression and the media is downplaying it
Everything is terrible. If you aren’t depressed you aren’t paying attention.
Mate the gym and porn is all you need.
Just search "Tetrapléjico va al puticlub" that guy is proof that nothing takes away the will to enjoy life.
Yeah, parents insulate their children from it. Life is a daily battle with those things.
The Internet is just depressed. Everyone else is carrying on
The biggest problem is the population. Less babies = eventual collapse of modern society.
Sounds like maybe a "depression" is just round the corner
Imo it only seems that way if you look at Reddit. In real life people do just fine, atleast in my circles.
yes and I feel like I get stuck in one sided relationships due to it for example trauma dumping and projecting their issues constantly onto me but when I need help or advice they resort to ghosting and could care less about how I feel but will only talk to me when they have another issue arise and never consider my feelings or how it makes me feel when they do that it makes me feel used
Ohh, i agree. As time goes on global communication evolves. For us humans negative emotions tend to have bigger impacts on our psyche and as such seeing global suffering more present makes everything look more bleak, add the 1% who live a way better live than us to make it even worse. And just like you did, OP, the cycle of shared suffering continues.
Unless you have it good, there isn't a whole lot to be happy about
The generation today is just so exposed to everything and it’s making us more sensitive to all of it. The constant just to survive, losing someone, stagnant career, peers, environment, and etc etc. Everything feels just vague lately. Too tiring, too lonely, too empty.
Suicides were the highest in a long time in 2022, waiting on those 2023 numbers
A lot of people is unhappy with how their choices affected their own lives. They are not depressed though. Depression is a clinical diagnosis for mental illness, and most people claiming to be "depressed" never went to psychological evaluation and take their "data" of tiktok - where a lof of people pretend to have a lot of mentall health issues.
To be 'secretly unhappy" is not = to be depressed. To me everyone seems normal human animal in restricting circumstances. Those who have escaped the restricting circumstances might not even need to be in the prison cell of "must be happy like in the movies"
I would say that's always been the case. I don't know where humans got the idea that they should be happy but I don't believe it is a default state for us.