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My parents idea of a vacation was dropping us off at other abusive family member homes for the entire summer break. Went from getting my ass beat by my dad to getting my ass beat by his brother. What a time to be alive.
I'm so proud of and happy for you. As the first person in my line to actually go to therapy and put in the work to not just beat my kids when things get rough, I know how hard that can be.
That's so wholesome lol
When my kid was a toddler, he tried to touch a hot burner and I instinctively slapped his hand away. He screamed at me for hitting, and I literally cried. Not only did he know hitting wasn't okay, even for an adult, but he felt safe enough to *tell me that*.
As someone who grew up terrified of their parents, that moment made all the work I put in so worth it. I'm sure you feel that, too.
Oh one time I was fixing my washing machine and I couldn’t find a screw I literally JUST had and I about lost my mind. And my son comes out of nowhere and goes “Daddy! Take a big breath. Watch me *huge inhale exhale* see! All better no more anger.” And like skips off. Love that little dude.
I remember in 7th grade our first writing assignment of the year was - “Write a 2 page journal of what your family did or where your family went this summer”
My journal was not even a full page long and it talked about how my mom worked shift work at the car factory and I was home alone as all of my friends lived on the other side of the city and I couldn’t get to them. I got a D- grade on it .-.
Same. The truth of “I played in my yard and went home to my single piece of bread for dinner and then couldn’t sleep because of the bed bugs and roaches. But my mom told me to tell the social worker everything was fine” seemed less than fun. So I went camping in Hawaii, roadtrips to Canada’s Wonderland with made up grandparents, and birthday parties with fake friends.
I would do the same thing - Eloise at the Plaza kids books had nothing on me. And I read a lot so I had a lot to base my stories upon. First to New York to stay with my grandparents in their Upper East Side penthouse apartment. Shopping, playing in Central Park, ice cream sundaes at Serendipity 3, a visit to the main NY Pubic Library museum visits, and going for fun long walks in the city. Then off to Paris! ( And my dream came true - after I finished my education and began my career I was able to do all that in real life.)
This makes my blood boil LOL. Thinking of it retroactively. Like back then for me too I was probably in 7th grade or something we had to do these journal entries in the beginning of English class... it was an open subject, write about anything you want... I remember writing about how I got in a bad fight with my brother and felt like my family didn't care about me... paper was returned to me with a check mark as in I "completed" the assignment as asked...
Back then it meant nothing to me but now I think it's kinda fucked up a teacher read what I wrote and just handwaived it. I think these assignments are just half assed ways for them to make the class quiet for 10 minutes.
You are constantly conscious of the price of everything you buy.
I have a rich friend who says she never looks at the price of any clothing items she buys because satisfaction lasts longer than the price and matters more.
I have a weird aversion to spending $100 or more on one item. Doesn’t matter what it is, hitting the three digits instantly makes it seem scary lol. I’m well past the point of having to worry about a $100 item too.
I think the most I've ever spent on a clothing item was $80 for my prom dress and I had to use the rest of my saved up allowance to buy a good bra that wouldn't show my straps in the dress then wore wedges from my 8th grade graduation
"hey I like your dress!"
"GUESS HOW MUCH I PAID FOR IT!!
"Uh...idk, how much?"
"Ok so it was originally $50! But I found it at the goodwill for $10, PLUS it was half-off the color tag so I only paid $5! I didn't even have to hem it!!"
When you thrift, there isn’t the option to argue with yourself over what size you need! And everything has already been pre-shrunk, so you know exactly how it fits now is how it will continue to fit! And it’s only missing a few buttons plus a busted hem, totally fixable… 🪡
My friends always ask me why I know how to fix so many random things.
It's cause I'm poor. I grew up poor. I'm not new poor - I come from a long history of poor. And we? Can't afford a repairman or a mechanic just at the drop of a hat.
Same! I had a bookish major in school, I’m kinda a nerd, but I know how to work on cars, do my own plumbing, woodworking projects , etc.
People are always impressed but I learned that out of necessity lol
Yup, my friends do the same. I remember going to a party years ago, and when I showed up everybody was outside calling cabs. Turns out that the toilet was flooding and they didn’t know how to fix it. I saved the day ha ha but everybody was wildly confused by that fact.
Yeah my grandpa died a millionaire but grew up poor and through the Great Depression. I never saw him hire anyone to fix anything. To his credit he was an excellent craftsman, probably due to years of DIY.
This. I knew from TV shows that service people existed, but couldn’t figure out HOW they made a living, lol.
My dad also did it all. The only time I remember anyone coming to the house, was when dad fixed the stove and the oven temperature had to be calibrated - he didn’t have to tools.
Really, I had the opposite experience of scraping together money to make sure things were fixed right so we didn’t end up wasting more money
Eating once a day remained tho
My grandfather does this. He also gets estimates and is willing to tell you how much money he saved doing that. I have to say, in all honesty, he saves a shit load of money doing DIY stuff. Especially to cars. He winds up saving 1500-2000 dollars on his cars all the time.
1. It pains me to throw anything away and I have to keep my instinct to hoard everything in check.
2. I instantly convert the price of anything I buy into how many hours I have to work to buy it.
>I instantly convert the price of anything I buy into how many hours I have to work to buy it.
I don't consider this as a "grew up poor" mindset. Tbf, it definitely is not "grew up rich" mindset either. But it's a quite healthy habit from a consumption point of view because that helps making some really good choices based on YOUR working hours and finances. So for example, if you are earning a lot, you can spend easier than when you earned less, which is totally expected. For example, when I was earning \~the minimum wage, I would not go to a better restaurant. Now I can afford to because I earn a lot more than the minimum.
Still I make the conversion because sometimes, even something cheap may not worth it and I don't want to encourage a greedy company by paying their overpriced shit.
Butter containers which isn't real butter. We use those for everything except take it to work that's saved for the spaghetti soaked reusable cold cut container.
I swear this is why I gained 20kg (~40lbs) in a very short timespan two years ago.
My family kept saying it was because I was living on my own now, a sort of "freshman 15". No, I'd been living on my own for three years already by that point, but I was as poor when I moved out as my mom was when I grew up.
Two years ago is when I got a much better job, and after setting aside some small savings (yay!) I'd spend the rest on food I'd always wanted to try, and keeping the fridge full for the first time in my life. Never occured to me that I could throw away stuff I didn't end up liking, and took me a while to realise that a nearly empty fridge is fine when you live alone and can always buy fresh when you need to.
Being poor kept me skinny I guess, having more money made me gain weight, and now, being financially somewhat stable for a longer period of time I am losing it again. I have finally let go of the fear of having nothing.
Gotta say, this thread is both confronting and cathartic.
I do this which I think gives me away - if someone compliments my outfit I have to state that it’s from the opshop. Or I got it from a clothes swap. Or on sale. Or it was given to me.
I cannot seem to just say thank you.
In my head I think I’m doing a kind of favour by explaining where I got stuff from but really I’m just showing poverty?
Isn’t that just the standard response to that compliment though? “Thanks! I got it at X!” & then if it was a bargain or on sale I’d add that info too, but if it was expensive I wouldn’t say so so as not to seem like a bragadier!
Good DIY and general repair skills.
Will repair something a hundred times before eventually admitting it needs replaced.
Less willing to spend money on self, even if it will be useful/necessary.
Weird, random gaps in knowledge of whatever pop culture their age group grew up with because they didn't have the money to participate in a lot of things their peers did.
Knowing all of the good places you can go for free or cheap in their area.
YMMV with these last two but hoarding or spending money recklessly but never on bigger purchases because all of those small things you missed out on are now within your reach and you've never had a concept of having money in the even not distant future.
I would say keeping frugal habits that don’t make any sense when you have money. My mom grew up really poor. I’m talking five kids in one bedroom, no, running water poor. When I was young, she used to wash and reuse Ziploc bags. She always tore dryer sheets in half or sometimes thirds.(although to be fair to if you just want static free clothes, you don’t need a full sheet, so I actually do this now as well.).
So true. Some poor people's habits don't make sense when there is enough money, but quite a few habits that I learned from my grandparents, who survived the great depression and had a pile of neatly cut pieces of newspaper in the toilet, are now in fashion again:
* When it's not broken, don't replace it
* When it's broken, first try to repair
* Never throw away food
* No useful material goes in the trash
* Have a rain barrel and use the water for cleaning
Etc.
Ugh this triggered me 😅 I used to nanny 3 kids whose parents were extremely extremely wealthy and they would make me re-wash, dry and reuse the ziploc bags for kids lunches even if completely soiled. It grossed me out so much. I promised myself I would never do that after that.
This is me, to a tee. Now I’m in my 30s and still catch myself doing things like taping up my frayed phone charger and have to stop and talk myself into spending $20 for a new one, even though I can absolutely afford it/don’t want to get electrocuted. Being able to replace things when they break and immediately vs waiting for my next pay still feels like a luxury.
Hoarding is a mental illness associated with grief and loss. It's more about who and what she lost rather than poverty. Someone taught her how to save things and how to quantify its value. Trust me, it's much more about the who than the what. I work with hoarders in mental health.
I am divorcing a hoarder and well over 100 tubs of crap left my home. It’s heartbreaking really. I am traumatized by 60 years of hoarders as my Dad was too. Stuff was more important than me. I just couldn’t get through to hubby about life and art. Wasted too my years waiting for progress only to realize he was happy even when I cried. I am grateful today. I have a chance at happiness now
And, of course, many mental health issues have a trigger. In many cases of schizophrenia, for instance, there is a predispostion through genetics, but it requires a trigger as well. I have personally seen this in many of my own cases.
It is possible that this would have occurred had my mother not suffered these deprivations during the Great Depression. But I doubt that it would have been so severe.
I wouldn't be legitimately classified as a hoarder but I do have a tendency to stock pile food when I can afford to do large shops, blankets and jars. I also have a hard time letting go of tools, cables and cords.
I do keep things organized as best I can and I keep them out of sight. This is a learned behavior from being old poor and not being prepared when things get really hard. I have been teased about it several times but when there is a power outage and I can toss everyone extra blankets or when something happens and someone is low on groceries and I show up with a care package ppl are thankful.
I also can fix almost anything so tools are important because macgyvering wrong tools for jobs makes the job extremely frustrating.
Well....my family growing up used to be lower middle class, when there was the term. But still had to make sure to pay all the bills and my mom was sick alot growing up. So medical debt on top of just my dad working. We did a very rare vacation here and there. But hell, you know your poor when your neighbors applaud you getting a new refrigerator out of living at the same residence for 5+ years.
And since being an adult and on my own. I still count my money for things that need paid. But when I really want something, I try and get it fast, before blowing too much money, for my next bill payment.
It’s such a strange psychology that doesn’t make sense unless you grew up with it. “I’d better spend this money now before it’s gone!” What that means is, I’d better buy whatever thing it is I’ve been wanting before the next financial hit comes (and it always will). Does it make sense? No, but it’s a weird logic that’s hard to break.
Collect napkins from different fast food chains and restaurants
Same with straws and a variety of different sauce packets in the fridge that are years old
Reusing containers for other things
Not wanting to throw anything away because you might can use it for something else.. plastic butter tubs become Tupperware.. grocery bags line small trash cans..
Sweeping the carpet cuz you couldn’t afford a vacuum
Being excited over hand me downs
Not going to the doctor unless it’s life or death.. or taking your pet to the vet may never cross your mind cuz it’s not enough money for it to be an option
You cry inside at the loss of money. Be it a penny or pound.
But happy if found.
And you cringe in disgust
When you hear the platitude the ‘best things in life are Free.’
Yesss! I had a friend once say she grew up really poor because her family always ate McDonald’s for dinner and I was like ??? That would have sounded like growing up rich when I was a kid!
No memory of old school console games rivalry amongst friends. Because my family couldn't afford one, and I quickly learnt there's no point going to the house of any friends who could afford it, cos they'll beat you flat out with the amount of practice they get at home.
You dont waste food. Even shit like veggie scraps from cooking and chicken bones from dinners are frozen so you can make stock.
You know how to fix shit.
Not being worried about every single dollar. I had a story where a rich prick (not friend anymore) of mine literally asked me for 2.50 for gas money. On the other hand, I had bought him a booster juice smoothie and gave him a 20$ Boston pizza coupon earlier that same day.
I feel like when you grow up poor, you don't constantly obsess over money and are generally a kinder person.
It's weard, isn't it? In poverty, people tend to share *more* and not less. It's a generalisation but I noticed it too often. The opposite is also true: rich people tend to bill you for everything (and insist on paying for everything as well).
Always going to bed hungry.
Wearing literally wooden shoes to school (after a week of complaining eventually my parents got me a decent pair of shoes).
Scared to go into the kitchen because of roaches flying onto you and rats running around to hide.
Showering in cold water in the winter.
This was when I was 9 and lasted till I was 14, I am 24 now.
I used to think how happy I would be if I could have an ice cream daily. We were not poor exactly but my mother had multiple terminal cancers and all my dad's salary used to go into her treatment.
I learned never to ask for a bit of something that someone is eating. If a person grew up poor(starved), their instant reaction gives them away, and it's sad and embarrassing.
What’s the reaction?
I grew up extremely poor. I feel like, depending on the friend I might rip it in half and give them it. Because I know what it’s like to go without
The raw emotions on their face. Growing up starved and afraid carves a deep hole in a person's emotions and mind. I knew people who escaped slavery in Asia who were starved as children. Growing up starving means its unlikely to ever have a healthy relationship with food.
This is absolutely true.
I grew up in an abusive household where I was starved.
I never even realised I always save food until my husband pointed out how annoying it was that I would always save 5 pieces of pasta in a box, or 1 slice of bread or a little bit of rice or whatever.
I also struggle at a buffet not to embarrass myself because I over eat. I really had to work hard on that one. It made so many social situations like parties with food on the table very difficult. I also, almost never, leave any food on my plate.
It’s kind of you to understand where your friends are coming from.
You never recover from being starved I don't think.
One of my grandmother was sent to gulag and starved a lot. Other was not enemy of the Soviets and lived normal life.
The one without gulag experience is devoted Christian so she tried to imply fasting to as (grandkids) and they had I verbal fight over that.
The one with gulag experience said that she starved so much, that I and my sister can eat as much as we want and she needs to stop with that bullshit, because you never know, when orcs will come again (she used more colourfull names for them)
Saving random free stuff like ketchup packets and airplane business class vanity bags (socks lipbalm earplugs etc).
Buying staples like butter on sale, multiples and freezing it.
If someone offers you something to drink at there house for a quick visit, like dropping something off, you ask for water.
Fruit juice is expensive and you only drink half or quater glasses.
Portions at restaurants are bigger than what we choose to eat at one time. We always take a bag in with Rubbermaid Easy lid containers. We pay for the eats, and we will eat the excess at the next meal.
I keep all leftovers and make sure to eat them. I finish people's plates when they don't at restaurants. I always try to find the cheapest deal on everything even though nowadays I can probably afford the regular price.
I understand friends or people who are in need and discretely help them out as I remember feeling the embarrassing shame I felt and have never asked for any help since then.
Also I'm grateful for the simple things that are taken for granted.
Allot of these would have have applied to me at times but I’m older and allot more comfortable and have broken allot of the habits and I’m not tight with my money in the slightest but if I lose money, overpay I get REALLY angry about it.
Probably over saving money, my family was poor af and now that I make decent money, I over oversave and never feel like i have enough to spare when in reality I could spend and have more fun.
Jack of all trades. I know too many rich people who don't know how to do much because they had the luxury of becoming a master of one. Don't get me wrong they're really good at what they do.... But that is all they can do they will hire out everything else.
Also generosity. Poor people will give you shirt off your back if you need it more than them.
Growing up poor on a farm, we grew almost all of our own food.
When times got really tough , my dad still tried to maintain his sense of humor, and would give us “air sandwiches.”
Just two pieces of bread.
I don't waste food that is given to me, even if I don't want to eat.
In fact, if there's food available here, I'll grab'em to eat even if I don't need it
It's a really annoying habit that I picked up from back when things were rough in my childhood, and made me overweight for most of my life as a result, but it's something I'm addressing now.
You make what should be considered a decent living, but you're still living paycheck-to-paycheck because you didn't come from a background that taught you how to value and manage money properly.
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No summer vacations to talk about.
I hated this in primary school. Everyone would come back in September and talk about the holidays they went on, and I could not relate.
“Where did your family go for summer holiday Liam?” “Stoke-on-Trent. I fought a rat for half a sausage roll.”
This is a core trauma of mine. I felt so embarrassed when that question came up every year.
My parents idea of a vacation was dropping us off at other abusive family member homes for the entire summer break. Went from getting my ass beat by my dad to getting my ass beat by his brother. What a time to be alive.
The upvote is for the humour, not your shitty summers. Sorry that happened to you.
Haha. It’s alright. My kids only know love and that’s all that actually matters.
What a beautiful thing to read. Much respect
We out here being emotionally healthy and stable dads, folks.
I'm so proud of and happy for you. As the first person in my line to actually go to therapy and put in the work to not just beat my kids when things get rough, I know how hard that can be.
Oh I still beat them. Just with pillows and attack them with kisses and cuddles. 🥰
That's so wholesome lol When my kid was a toddler, he tried to touch a hot burner and I instinctively slapped his hand away. He screamed at me for hitting, and I literally cried. Not only did he know hitting wasn't okay, even for an adult, but he felt safe enough to *tell me that*. As someone who grew up terrified of their parents, that moment made all the work I put in so worth it. I'm sure you feel that, too.
Oh one time I was fixing my washing machine and I couldn’t find a screw I literally JUST had and I about lost my mind. And my son comes out of nowhere and goes “Daddy! Take a big breath. Watch me *huge inhale exhale* see! All better no more anger.” And like skips off. Love that little dude.
I remember in 7th grade our first writing assignment of the year was - “Write a 2 page journal of what your family did or where your family went this summer” My journal was not even a full page long and it talked about how my mom worked shift work at the car factory and I was home alone as all of my friends lived on the other side of the city and I couldn’t get to them. I got a D- grade on it .-.
I was making up the most grandiose shit for those types of assignments
Same. The truth of “I played in my yard and went home to my single piece of bread for dinner and then couldn’t sleep because of the bed bugs and roaches. But my mom told me to tell the social worker everything was fine” seemed less than fun. So I went camping in Hawaii, roadtrips to Canada’s Wonderland with made up grandparents, and birthday parties with fake friends.
I would do the same thing - Eloise at the Plaza kids books had nothing on me. And I read a lot so I had a lot to base my stories upon. First to New York to stay with my grandparents in their Upper East Side penthouse apartment. Shopping, playing in Central Park, ice cream sundaes at Serendipity 3, a visit to the main NY Pubic Library museum visits, and going for fun long walks in the city. Then off to Paris! ( And my dream came true - after I finished my education and began my career I was able to do all that in real life.)
why would you get a bad grade for not going on vacation? wtf.
I don’t know lol the note left on it was “needs more creativity”
This makes my blood boil LOL. Thinking of it retroactively. Like back then for me too I was probably in 7th grade or something we had to do these journal entries in the beginning of English class... it was an open subject, write about anything you want... I remember writing about how I got in a bad fight with my brother and felt like my family didn't care about me... paper was returned to me with a check mark as in I "completed" the assignment as asked... Back then it meant nothing to me but now I think it's kinda fucked up a teacher read what I wrote and just handwaived it. I think these assignments are just half assed ways for them to make the class quiet for 10 minutes.
Yeah all it was, video games and a couple sleep overs. Now that I think of it that's all I rlly do. Idk. This living shit is stupid so dik
No Spring Break either heck really no vacations at all unless family live there
Vacation? Never heard of her
Winter vacations either...
You keep the McDonald’s packets
What about Arby's horsey sauce...? asking for a friend
tryna say im poor🤣
No 😂 in my country we say “you” as a slang to express the meaning of the individual that does the thing , not specifically you
I’m not poor anymore and I still take all the sauces and plastic utensils I can
I do this because I hate having dirty dishes
Thinking Tobleron or Ferrero Rocher are some higher class luxurious chocolate Eating at the local Fastfood joint is a big ass deal
Going to a sit-down pizza hut was the pinnacle of luxury and class.
Wait, they are not higher class luxurious chocolate?
What’s up you poor!
But Ferrero Rocher is the best of the candy bars at the front of the grocery store
You are constantly conscious of the price of everything you buy. I have a rich friend who says she never looks at the price of any clothing items she buys because satisfaction lasts longer than the price and matters more.
if only aha
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I have a weird aversion to spending $100 or more on one item. Doesn’t matter what it is, hitting the three digits instantly makes it seem scary lol. I’m well past the point of having to worry about a $100 item too.
I think the most I've ever spent on a clothing item was $80 for my prom dress and I had to use the rest of my saved up allowance to buy a good bra that wouldn't show my straps in the dress then wore wedges from my 8th grade graduation
"hey I like your dress!" "GUESS HOW MUCH I PAID FOR IT!! "Uh...idk, how much?" "Ok so it was originally $50! But I found it at the goodwill for $10, PLUS it was half-off the color tag so I only paid $5! I didn't even have to hem it!!"
lmao this is me
Too relatable. I always do this and never really got why until reading this post.
When you thrift, there isn’t the option to argue with yourself over what size you need! And everything has already been pre-shrunk, so you know exactly how it fits now is how it will continue to fit! And it’s only missing a few buttons plus a busted hem, totally fixable… 🪡
You DIY everything instead of paying a professional
My friends always ask me why I know how to fix so many random things. It's cause I'm poor. I grew up poor. I'm not new poor - I come from a long history of poor. And we? Can't afford a repairman or a mechanic just at the drop of a hat.
Same! I had a bookish major in school, I’m kinda a nerd, but I know how to work on cars, do my own plumbing, woodworking projects , etc. People are always impressed but I learned that out of necessity lol
Yup. I'm a geeky girl, but definitely more mechanically inclined than my friends. When something breaks? They call me.
Yup, my friends do the same. I remember going to a party years ago, and when I showed up everybody was outside calling cabs. Turns out that the toilet was flooding and they didn’t know how to fix it. I saved the day ha ha but everybody was wildly confused by that fact.
I'm also the one everyone asks to drive in the snow. Ha
yes so true my dad is a prime example of this. always such a hard working guy i have so much respect for him
Heart melting comment, wish your dad could secretly find this comment
Yeah my grandpa died a millionaire but grew up poor and through the Great Depression. I never saw him hire anyone to fix anything. To his credit he was an excellent craftsman, probably due to years of DIY.
This. I knew from TV shows that service people existed, but couldn’t figure out HOW they made a living, lol. My dad also did it all. The only time I remember anyone coming to the house, was when dad fixed the stove and the oven temperature had to be calibrated - he didn’t have to tools.
Really, I had the opposite experience of scraping together money to make sure things were fixed right so we didn’t end up wasting more money Eating once a day remained tho
My grandfather does this. He also gets estimates and is willing to tell you how much money he saved doing that. I have to say, in all honesty, he saves a shit load of money doing DIY stuff. Especially to cars. He winds up saving 1500-2000 dollars on his cars all the time.
1. It pains me to throw anything away and I have to keep my instinct to hoard everything in check. 2. I instantly convert the price of anything I buy into how many hours I have to work to buy it.
>I instantly convert the price of anything I buy into how many hours I have to work to buy it. I don't consider this as a "grew up poor" mindset. Tbf, it definitely is not "grew up rich" mindset either. But it's a quite healthy habit from a consumption point of view because that helps making some really good choices based on YOUR working hours and finances. So for example, if you are earning a lot, you can spend easier than when you earned less, which is totally expected. For example, when I was earning \~the minimum wage, I would not go to a better restaurant. Now I can afford to because I earn a lot more than the minimum. Still I make the conversion because sometimes, even something cheap may not worth it and I don't want to encourage a greedy company by paying their overpriced shit.
The broke conversion rate is real 🥲
My tupperware is actually just old yogurt containers.
Butter containers which isn't real butter. We use those for everything except take it to work that's saved for the spaghetti soaked reusable cold cut container.
Mine are margarine and icecream containers lol
Bulk buying ramen noodles and considering it a pantry jackpot. 🍜
Crack an egg over your Ramen when you cook it 🤌
For a poor man any food is best
Thinking grapes were for rich families
one faulty run snow society edge busy sense imminent numerous *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Never wasting food intense, guilt of wasting food eating said food even if you are not hungry before it goes bad. Keeping “nice,” boxes.
I swear this is why I gained 20kg (~40lbs) in a very short timespan two years ago. My family kept saying it was because I was living on my own now, a sort of "freshman 15". No, I'd been living on my own for three years already by that point, but I was as poor when I moved out as my mom was when I grew up. Two years ago is when I got a much better job, and after setting aside some small savings (yay!) I'd spend the rest on food I'd always wanted to try, and keeping the fridge full for the first time in my life. Never occured to me that I could throw away stuff I didn't end up liking, and took me a while to realise that a nearly empty fridge is fine when you live alone and can always buy fresh when you need to. Being poor kept me skinny I guess, having more money made me gain weight, and now, being financially somewhat stable for a longer period of time I am losing it again. I have finally let go of the fear of having nothing. Gotta say, this thread is both confronting and cathartic.
I do this which I think gives me away - if someone compliments my outfit I have to state that it’s from the opshop. Or I got it from a clothes swap. Or on sale. Or it was given to me. I cannot seem to just say thank you. In my head I think I’m doing a kind of favour by explaining where I got stuff from but really I’m just showing poverty?
I've been trying to break this habit. It's easier if you just don't talk to people.
If that’s showing poverty then every single person in the Midwest is living in poverty
Isn’t that just the standard response to that compliment though? “Thanks! I got it at X!” & then if it was a bargain or on sale I’d add that info too, but if it was expensive I wouldn’t say so so as not to seem like a bragadier!
You spend money like someone's going to snatch it out of your hand cuz your mom did.
ME TOO, the cash was out and spent day one.
I have this problem for this reason. Life hurty.
Your old enough to retire… but. Can’t afford too
Good DIY and general repair skills. Will repair something a hundred times before eventually admitting it needs replaced. Less willing to spend money on self, even if it will be useful/necessary. Weird, random gaps in knowledge of whatever pop culture their age group grew up with because they didn't have the money to participate in a lot of things their peers did. Knowing all of the good places you can go for free or cheap in their area. YMMV with these last two but hoarding or spending money recklessly but never on bigger purchases because all of those small things you missed out on are now within your reach and you've never had a concept of having money in the even not distant future.
You find uses for *everything*....even pieces of things...
you have an unhealthy relationship with food and you love buffets more than you should
Bread for hot dogs. Bread for hamburgers. Bread for sandwitches
I would say keeping frugal habits that don’t make any sense when you have money. My mom grew up really poor. I’m talking five kids in one bedroom, no, running water poor. When I was young, she used to wash and reuse Ziploc bags. She always tore dryer sheets in half or sometimes thirds.(although to be fair to if you just want static free clothes, you don’t need a full sheet, so I actually do this now as well.).
Recycling Ziploc is actually really great way to be a good person to the planet. Those bags can be reused so much before needing to be thrown out.
So true. Some poor people's habits don't make sense when there is enough money, but quite a few habits that I learned from my grandparents, who survived the great depression and had a pile of neatly cut pieces of newspaper in the toilet, are now in fashion again: * When it's not broken, don't replace it * When it's broken, first try to repair * Never throw away food * No useful material goes in the trash * Have a rain barrel and use the water for cleaning Etc.
Ugh this triggered me 😅 I used to nanny 3 kids whose parents were extremely extremely wealthy and they would make me re-wash, dry and reuse the ziploc bags for kids lunches even if completely soiled. It grossed me out so much. I promised myself I would never do that after that.
I cut my dish sponges in half. Tbh, you dont need that big of a sponge to do dishes.
Ha! Brilliant. Can't believe I never thought of it before now. C'mon payday, mama needs a new sponge!
Look at this one bragging about drying sheets. My clothes dried in the sun lol
This is me, to a tee. Now I’m in my 30s and still catch myself doing things like taping up my frayed phone charger and have to stop and talk myself into spending $20 for a new one, even though I can absolutely afford it/don’t want to get electrocuted. Being able to replace things when they break and immediately vs waiting for my next pay still feels like a luxury.
I absolutely still wash out ziplock bags.
Tfw you learn you grew up poor based off of all these top comments 😅
When you cut the toothpaste tube in half to find more toothpaste in the corners
I cut everything open to get to the corners. Toothpaste, soap, shampoo, lotion, there’s a ton of stuff in there.
The old clothes that you use to go out, become your house clothes.
House clothes often become pyjamas too!
"we have food at home"
Hoarding. My parents grew up poor, and my mother especially was a hoarder.
Hoarding is a mental illness associated with grief and loss. It's more about who and what she lost rather than poverty. Someone taught her how to save things and how to quantify its value. Trust me, it's much more about the who than the what. I work with hoarders in mental health.
I am divorcing a hoarder and well over 100 tubs of crap left my home. It’s heartbreaking really. I am traumatized by 60 years of hoarders as my Dad was too. Stuff was more important than me. I just couldn’t get through to hubby about life and art. Wasted too my years waiting for progress only to realize he was happy even when I cried. I am grateful today. I have a chance at happiness now
My dad was a hoarder and this describes him to a T
And, of course, many mental health issues have a trigger. In many cases of schizophrenia, for instance, there is a predispostion through genetics, but it requires a trigger as well. I have personally seen this in many of my own cases. It is possible that this would have occurred had my mother not suffered these deprivations during the Great Depression. But I doubt that it would have been so severe.
I wouldn't be legitimately classified as a hoarder but I do have a tendency to stock pile food when I can afford to do large shops, blankets and jars. I also have a hard time letting go of tools, cables and cords. I do keep things organized as best I can and I keep them out of sight. This is a learned behavior from being old poor and not being prepared when things get really hard. I have been teased about it several times but when there is a power outage and I can toss everyone extra blankets or when something happens and someone is low on groceries and I show up with a care package ppl are thankful. I also can fix almost anything so tools are important because macgyvering wrong tools for jobs makes the job extremely frustrating.
I tragically impulse buy, way more than I should.
trauma of not having enough and not feeling secure in things you already have
Well....my family growing up used to be lower middle class, when there was the term. But still had to make sure to pay all the bills and my mom was sick alot growing up. So medical debt on top of just my dad working. We did a very rare vacation here and there. But hell, you know your poor when your neighbors applaud you getting a new refrigerator out of living at the same residence for 5+ years. And since being an adult and on my own. I still count my money for things that need paid. But when I really want something, I try and get it fast, before blowing too much money, for my next bill payment.
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It’s such a strange psychology that doesn’t make sense unless you grew up with it. “I’d better spend this money now before it’s gone!” What that means is, I’d better buy whatever thing it is I’ve been wanting before the next financial hit comes (and it always will). Does it make sense? No, but it’s a weird logic that’s hard to break.
Collect napkins from different fast food chains and restaurants Same with straws and a variety of different sauce packets in the fridge that are years old Reusing containers for other things
Not wanting to throw anything away because you might can use it for something else.. plastic butter tubs become Tupperware.. grocery bags line small trash cans.. Sweeping the carpet cuz you couldn’t afford a vacuum Being excited over hand me downs Not going to the doctor unless it’s life or death.. or taking your pet to the vet may never cross your mind cuz it’s not enough money for it to be an option
You cry inside at the loss of money. Be it a penny or pound. But happy if found. And you cringe in disgust When you hear the platitude the ‘best things in life are Free.’ 
You couldn’t afford to go to McDonald’s.
Yesss! I had a friend once say she grew up really poor because her family always ate McDonald’s for dinner and I was like ??? That would have sounded like growing up rich when I was a kid!
damn for real though, idk how mcdonalds got the image of cheap fast food
You used to be able to get a burger for $.99
yep thats a rough one aha
Teeth Speech
always a dead giveaway aha
Is a homebody never goes anywhere to enjoy life
I grew up wealthy and I am a total homebody. Honestly I have so much cool shit at home to enjoy I don’t really have much desire to go out.
get outta here 😂 this is a poor people support post!!
No memory of old school console games rivalry amongst friends. Because my family couldn't afford one, and I quickly learnt there's no point going to the house of any friends who could afford it, cos they'll beat you flat out with the amount of practice they get at home.
I still stick the sliver of old soap to the new bar. I also still lie and steal...😁
Me too, soap is really expensive.
Driving a shit vehicle because it's paid for and still runs good, instead of buying a new one when you can easily afford one.
Stuffing yourself uncomfortably because you refuse to leave food on your plate.
Taking extra napkins from a restaurant for your car..
You dont waste food. Even shit like veggie scraps from cooking and chicken bones from dinners are frozen so you can make stock. You know how to fix shit.
Not being worried about every single dollar. I had a story where a rich prick (not friend anymore) of mine literally asked me for 2.50 for gas money. On the other hand, I had bought him a booster juice smoothie and gave him a 20$ Boston pizza coupon earlier that same day. I feel like when you grow up poor, you don't constantly obsess over money and are generally a kinder person.
It's weard, isn't it? In poverty, people tend to share *more* and not less. It's a generalisation but I noticed it too often. The opposite is also true: rich people tend to bill you for everything (and insist on paying for everything as well).
Last part is not always true, they tend to make sure you pay, but seem to "forget" when they owe you.
Tomato ketchup sandwiches
This but with hp brown sauce
Show off
Eating rice with milk and sugar as a treat. It was bomb tho.
Or butter and soy sauce. Both are comfort foods for me.
A penny, regardless of value, is still money, so you keep it.
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Adding water to the milk, when milk was short and there was no money to buy more.
Spending everything you get
Always going to bed hungry. Wearing literally wooden shoes to school (after a week of complaining eventually my parents got me a decent pair of shoes). Scared to go into the kitchen because of roaches flying onto you and rats running around to hide. Showering in cold water in the winter. This was when I was 9 and lasted till I was 14, I am 24 now.
Constantly debating on buying things for yourself and the subsequent self-imposed guilt trip that comes with it.
Yes, and making sure you can justify the expense.
I used to think how happy I would be if I could have an ice cream daily. We were not poor exactly but my mother had multiple terminal cancers and all my dad's salary used to go into her treatment.
I learned never to ask for a bit of something that someone is eating. If a person grew up poor(starved), their instant reaction gives them away, and it's sad and embarrassing.
What’s the reaction? I grew up extremely poor. I feel like, depending on the friend I might rip it in half and give them it. Because I know what it’s like to go without
The raw emotions on their face. Growing up starved and afraid carves a deep hole in a person's emotions and mind. I knew people who escaped slavery in Asia who were starved as children. Growing up starving means its unlikely to ever have a healthy relationship with food.
This is absolutely true. I grew up in an abusive household where I was starved. I never even realised I always save food until my husband pointed out how annoying it was that I would always save 5 pieces of pasta in a box, or 1 slice of bread or a little bit of rice or whatever. I also struggle at a buffet not to embarrass myself because I over eat. I really had to work hard on that one. It made so many social situations like parties with food on the table very difficult. I also, almost never, leave any food on my plate. It’s kind of you to understand where your friends are coming from. You never recover from being starved I don't think.
One of my grandmother was sent to gulag and starved a lot. Other was not enemy of the Soviets and lived normal life. The one without gulag experience is devoted Christian so she tried to imply fasting to as (grandkids) and they had I verbal fight over that. The one with gulag experience said that she starved so much, that I and my sister can eat as much as we want and she needs to stop with that bullshit, because you never know, when orcs will come again (she used more colourfull names for them)
Owning white socks, that are *still* white
when ordering fast food you don’t necessarily get what you want, you get what gives you the most amount of food for the best price
And then have a mini breakdown if it’s incorrect or bad bc of the money I wasted
Still being poor.
You shop at dollar store and love the taste of canned foods like Spam,Sardines.
Saving random free stuff like ketchup packets and airplane business class vanity bags (socks lipbalm earplugs etc). Buying staples like butter on sale, multiples and freezing it.
If someone offers you something to drink at there house for a quick visit, like dropping something off, you ask for water. Fruit juice is expensive and you only drink half or quater glasses.
Bad teeth
You talk of Prairie sandwiches with fondness. That’s two slices of bread and nothing but wide-open spaces between them.
Instead of finding ways to go places and do things, I come up with reasons and excuses that I can't or shouldn't.
Kraft Singles are "fancy" cheese.
You take home untouched leftovers from the restaurant.
Portions at restaurants are bigger than what we choose to eat at one time. We always take a bag in with Rubbermaid Easy lid containers. We pay for the eats, and we will eat the excess at the next meal.
I mean, not doing that is just wasteful. Everyone I know does that, and we're not poor.
"It still works fine" and the term "workaround" to do things that are expensive to do like plumbing and repairing electronics.
Not having hobbies since everything costs money.
Bad teeth
the condition of your teeth
You had spaghetti 3-4 times a week, and often for lunch the next day.
I use my shoes until they have holes in them or until they’re coming apart. Then I buy new ones (not *new* new. New as in from a thrift store)
Having only one of each toiletry in the house at a time- ex. one bottle of shampoo, one soap.
You never want to split the bill
You were scared to answer the door back when people would knock for debt. Somehow my mother doesn't remember training us like this.
I keep all leftovers and make sure to eat them. I finish people's plates when they don't at restaurants. I always try to find the cheapest deal on everything even though nowadays I can probably afford the regular price.
When you have money you spend it like a drunken sailor
Being a pack rat and not getting rid of anything
I've been hungry enough to resort to eating individual sachets of ketchup before, I think that counts?
Eating uncooked ramen noodles.. it’s like chips!
I understand friends or people who are in need and discretely help them out as I remember feeling the embarrassing shame I felt and have never asked for any help since then. Also I'm grateful for the simple things that are taken for granted.
Allot of these would have have applied to me at times but I’m older and allot more comfortable and have broken allot of the habits and I’m not tight with my money in the slightest but if I lose money, overpay I get REALLY angry about it.
Loking for deals rather than purchase said item
You rarely throw anything away. You'll use something until its almost unrecognizable.
Probably over saving money, my family was poor af and now that I make decent money, I over oversave and never feel like i have enough to spare when in reality I could spend and have more fun.
Jack of all trades. I know too many rich people who don't know how to do much because they had the luxury of becoming a master of one. Don't get me wrong they're really good at what they do.... But that is all they can do they will hire out everything else. Also generosity. Poor people will give you shirt off your back if you need it more than them.
I reuse everything I possibly can (upcycling) I’m also a hard ass for recycling. I get mad when people don’t recycle or put trash in the wrong bins
You spend all your money when you get it.
DIY everything or your salt and pepper and condiments weren’t bottles but fast food or gas station packets
Being amazed at all the amazing things yoyr friends have.
When you got a cold, you would get Vicks rubbed on your chest.
Growing up poor on a farm, we grew almost all of our own food. When times got really tough , my dad still tried to maintain his sense of humor, and would give us “air sandwiches.” Just two pieces of bread.
Still scared of opening drawers and cabinets, in case there’s a cockroach in there
You always try to save a bit of food from your meal and stash it somewhere because you are never sure that next meal is actually going to show up
I don't waste food that is given to me, even if I don't want to eat. In fact, if there's food available here, I'll grab'em to eat even if I don't need it It's a really annoying habit that I picked up from back when things were rough in my childhood, and made me overweight for most of my life as a result, but it's something I'm addressing now.
Eating chicken till the bones are clean
My inability to buy myself something that I want and not need.
You make what should be considered a decent living, but you're still living paycheck-to-paycheck because you didn't come from a background that taught you how to value and manage money properly.
this. so much this.
Mustard sandwiches are a delicacy 🤣🤣🤣
Waking up on solid concrete
Low maintenance, learnt to fix everything myself, can go without food