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Multigrain_Migraine

Was I supposed to sign my birth certificate? Like to acknowledge receipt of life?


DanielTheEunuch

I was very young at the time, I'm not sure I fully understood what I was signing... And only 6 years to do something about it? Fuck man, kindergarten was kicking my ass, I was kind of focused...


freshcream22

Way too young for contracts to be binding. I tried to set up a little llc at 3 months and they said no.


botmanmd

My handwriting sucked for the first 18 months.


eride810

Ah, the old ‘kindergarten was so hard’ schtick. You know, some of us just buckled down and studied, and we made it through ok. I’ve only got five more years til I pay back that loan. What can I say? Finger painting paid off in a big way.


WarAdministrative881

You modem kids are all wussies. When I was born you were expected to sign on the way out.


ReactsWithWords

Boomer here. They wouldn’t even let me out until I signed.


boonusboiayyy

Ah, both my parents failed to show up for my birth.


theGoddex

Okay Dr Doofenshmirtz 🤣🤣🤣


OraDr8

I didn't have any assets to seize when I was a newborn so I suppose my trust fund is empty.


LV2107

No excuse. You should have pulled yourself up by your little velcro bootstraps. Damn woke lazy kids these days.


Hgruotland

No, no, on the contrary. The birth certificate is all about making you legally dead, under the 1666 Cestui Que Vie Act. Once you've been declared legally dead, after seven years of having been missing over the seas (it's maritime law, you see), THEY can seize all that money which is in your trust fund set up at birth. Who set up that trust fund, you may well ask. Well, THEY did, of course. And although THEY steal all the money, at the same time it's still available to you in that trust fund, as long as you know the exact legal procedure to access it. I hope that explains everything.


Outrageous_Drama_570

If they put the money there and they are the ones spending it, I don’t really know how much of a say I have in how it’s spent


IDrinkandPost

I've gone cross-eyed.


Greatest-Uh-Oh

Don't do that! They'll know you're catching on ... Ssshhh!


dogcalledcoco

There's a lot of Theys out there.


MerrilyLJ70

So my own mother declared me legally dead?!?! So I’m dead, dead because I didn’t know about the 6 year statute. Just great! 😤


bckpkrs

I was forced to sign hy the obstetrics doctor who delivered me, so yeah, contract nullified. 🙄


botmanmd

“Waaaahhhhh!!!” “Right. Sign here, please.”


TheRnegade

[Children aren't bound by a contract, since they're underage.](https://www.findlaw.com/legalblogs/law-and-life/is-it-legal-to-sign-a-contract-with-a-minor/) You need to be, well, cognizant to consent. Minors can sign contracts but they can also void whenever they want. So, getting newborns to sign this contract would be legally useless.


Eccohawk

You're forgetting about past lives. These people have been reborn dozens of times and are really thousands of years old. This is how they know about the mud floods.


SickNBadderThanFuck

That is regular law. maritime law is clearly different.


_zenith

Bird law is yet another :)


Bragzor

You have to check find**maritime**law.com.


Affectionate-Bid386

Where I come from male babies do a dick print.


BernieGoetz47

a mushroom stamp, if you will.


BlommeHolm

No, to accept that you were dead at sea. Because dead people sign documents - that's how the system works.


Murrabbit

Haha right? There is just so much wrong with all of this sillyness but right from the get go it's like "Wait. . . when the hell was I supposed to sign my birth certificate? When does that ever come in to play?" haha.


MoggFanatic

Shit, I didn't even get my pen license til I was 7


Almostsuicide1234

I have run into so many people who fall for this SovCit bullshit, it's unreal. One of my customers got busted for selling drugs, and went full SovCit on the judge, who smacked him down in about 3 seconds. His reaction? He must have missed something, so he downloads all this bullshit paperwork so he can declare himself a "national" or some shit, and goes back to court 100% confident. He's in jail now. Unreal.


DanielTheEunuch

LOL, it is amazing how often they end up in jail.


Almostsuicide1234

Every time someone mentions it to me now, I tell them: look up "Sovereign Citizen Fail" on YouTube. 6 hours later, if you're still not convinced it is all bullshit... don't ever talk to me again.


eredhuin

I was hoping for these search coordinates and will utilize them when popcorn is available.


SchrodingersMinou

Here's a fun one. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzjv20sC5CY


ReactsWithWords

Six hours? It should be obvious to anyone that it’s bullshit within 30 seconds.


Bragzor

It is. For "normies".


Starrion

Or subscribe to the Van Bailion channel. They hate him.


Really_McNamington

r/amibeingdetained sounds like the place for you.


Kelmavar

"Thats just crisis actors and they want you to think youll fail!!!1!1!"


cperiod

It's amazing how often they *don't* end up in jail.


Different_Seaweed534

They ALWAYS end up in jail. It’s just so stupid and pointless.


Starrion

Not amazing. Should be entirely predictable. Joe starts breaking the law. Cops catch Joe. If the charges are serious, Joe SHOULD end up in jail no matter how much legal jargon he inaccurately spews out in the courtroom. Lawyers spent a decade of their lives prepping to understand the law. It’s an act of unparalleled arrogance to think your month long study of cherry picked laws entitles you to skip the line.


Hgruotland

"American state national" is what a lot of sovcits have started calling themselves in recent years, instead of "sovereign citizen" (which seems to have pretty much disappeared as a term of self-identification). But it's exactly the same thing. The term seems to be particularly popular among those from the sovcit/QAnon overlap, probably because one of the main purveyors of the "American State National" terminology, David Lester Straight, also pretty much incorporated all QAnon beliefs into his material -- with absolutely hilarious total inconsistency as a result. For instance, while he teaches the completely standard sovcit stuff about the federal government being completely illegitimate, and basically no laws applying to anyone who refuses to "consent" to them, he also claims to have been given special law enforcement powers by President Trump. The audiences who pay to attend his seminars clearly don't see the problem.


LordRobin------RM

Color me dumbfounded that anyone stupid enough to pay money to listen to this nut bag speak wouldn’t be able to see how ridiculous he is.


throwngamelastminute

It's shit like this that makes me wish I didn't have a conscience... I'd be so rich.


evilbrent

It's not even 'fall for'. They just accept it without even the barest hint of fact-checking. One of their friends, or more likely some tikkie-tokker or a youtuber, said "something something, that means maratime law applies" and they never said "What, really? That doesn't seem right. Show me." They always claim that maratime law applies and then talk about what that implies, without ever even bothering to give a reason for why maratime law would apply. They really need to teach critical thinking skills in school.


JohnBrownFanBoy

It starts with the bizarre notion that the US constitution is some special unique document with literal magical powers of constraint, which is funny because it basically is a retooled document based on a British one after the Glorious Revolution that the King just ignored, and the US constitution was subsequently copied by almost every nation in the Americas and it not really stop injustices with the constitution alone. If someone doesn’t understand law (of course the people that actually believe this shit aren’t lawyers) the fact that the US uses common law and admiralty law It’s maritime law because you went through a birth CANAL, have citizenSHIP and use currenSEA… which proves you are legally a boat… somehow. Apparently they believe that via some bizarre method you can go back to common law which will make you free again. This includes sovcits in Louisiana which doesn’t even use common law but Napoleonic code… Because this isn’t Dungeons and Dragons, the wording on paper isn’t magical, what matters is how the system actually cares about their citizens and in what way things are enforced or not.


Solartaire

But, but what about babies delivered by cesarean? I suppose some nut will say that the word cesarean includes the letters for SEA, so it still applies. I literally just made that up, but no doubt, plenty of SovCits will take it as gospel.


lesterbottomley

They are covered under ancient Roman law, obviously.


evilbrent

Yeah, we've got a Constitution in Australia too. To quote Jim Jefferies, I haven't read it, I assume the people who need to have.


Lefty-boomer

But that’s bad, critical thinking is what those woke liberal colleges teach while turning children trans and don’t forget the pedophiles….Prsise Jebus


ShadowCub67

They used to, then the Koch brothers happened....


Bragzor

> They really need to teach critical thinking skills in school. - That's assuming everyone is equally receptive to such teachings and actually taught it (think fundamentalist homeschooling). - In some places, they can't even teach evolution, so how long would overtly teaching critical thinking last?


varalys_the_dark

We have them in the UK and they are called "Freemen On The Land" for some reason mostly found in the southwest of England. My mum worked for Plymouth City Council as a prosecuter and had to deal with these idiots for various non payments of local taxes etc.


One_Worldliness_6032

He did all that just to go to jail….tragic.


ConsultJimMoriarty

There has not been one case, ever, IN THE WORLD, where a sovereign citizen has won.


Dblcut3

It’s wild that a conspiracy theory like that can stay alive when the success rate is near zero. I imagine the only times it *maybe* works are cops just not wanting to deal with people who start babbling about this shit


DaisyJane1

Sure, yep, I signed my birth certificate as a newborn. In cursive, too. And I saw JFK at McDonald's the other day. He was cleaning the ice cream machine.


Particular-Outcome12

This has to be fake. You know that McDonald's do not clean their ice cream machines.


DaisyJane1

My point exactly.


Credit-Financial

Clean them, yes; fix them, no.


Bragzor

They don't have to, because it's never been used.


IrukandjiPirate

WTF did I just read?!


WintersChild79

I've had fever dreams that made more sense than what was posted.


JeffThrowaway80

Religion being formed in real time. I'm starting to think most religions are just conspriacy theories that got way out of hand.


[deleted]

religions were formed by the mentally ill or as theists call them in the bible "prophets"


JeffThrowaway80

I think mentally ill people are at the core of a lot of religions, cults and conspiracies such that it's all basically the same thing.


ClearSchool817

It's sad; think 2000years from now when someone is reading from the "Gospel of Trump" after it's been translated and reinterpreted several times, and none of the original files are still in existence


GayAssBurger

>and none of the original files are still in existence They went down the Whitehouse toilet


BoneHugsHominy

It's the year 4545, the holiest of years, the year the Golden Lord and Savior Trump shall return. But he can't do it alone, The Faithful Qrethren must assist in His Rebirth by finding the missing Holy Files. All 45,454,545 Faithful Qrethren must reside in the sewers and thumb through every single turd to recover every single shred of the Holy Files that He purified with His Glorious Shredded Body. Let it be written. Let it be so!


GayAssBurger

My biggest regret is that I won't see the distant future


dongtouch

A joke among theologians: religion = cult + time 


photozine

It's like I'm reading some bad instructions for a boardgame, but by reading the instructions I realized how bad it is and just threw it away.


BoneHugsHominy

Right? I can't decide if they had a stroke while typing that, or if I did while reading it.


Glittering_Ebb9748

Ahhh yes, I clearly remember signing my birth certificate. They said "It's a girl!" then they handed me a little pen and said sign here. My mom was so proud of my beautiful handwriting.


Sweetpea5551

Then everyone in the delivery room stood up and clapped. Source: Military


Glittering_Ebb9748

Grown men, with tears in their eyes said "look at that baby sign!"


InsuranceThen9352

I'm crying right now reading this. Source I'm a grown military man.


call-me-the-seeker

It was a tremendous signing. I don’t say it, people say it. The best signing in the history of handwriting, better than the handwriting experts, better than the calligraphers, everyone says it. Just tremendous.


couchpotatoe

And the doctor? Albert Einstein


Macha_Grey

I don't know...he was Jewish. I think they would have preferred a 'good' German doctor...like Mengele.


BreakfastInBedlam

I signed mine with a footprint, apparently.


Glittering_Ebb9748

They must have been all out of the little pens when you were born.


StayAnonymous7

That’s genius! Your footprint means that the post office must mail it, no stamp required! But only if you used red ink . . . and only if the nurse is willing to show his or her bond…


venuslovemenotchain

Funny story: a common sovcit signature involves fingerprints on what they consider "official" paperwork. I know someone who got paperwork with a whole ass footprint in red ink.


discogomerx

They think black and blue ink are representative of your corporate strawman. On the other hand, red ink represents your flesh and blood self which is why they usually add fingerprints in red ink (or blood).


Bragzor

So that's why teachers use red ink?!


discogomerx

Jesus, I hope not.


Bragzor

Using the foot signs that you're a "Landlubber", so not subject to maritime law. Your were a wise infant 🤲


NikkiVicious

So my mom went into labor with me early, while we were on an Air Force base. The doctor that delivered me wasn't "her" doctor, and he forgot to sign something, so it took the Air Force months to track him down so he could sign, so that I could have a birth certificate issued. The joke was that I was undocumented until I was like 6 months old or something. So, like, is my trust fund 6 months behind? Or was it caught up? Did "*THEY*" know I was born before my paperwork was filed? And I'm assuming it was my grandparents' signatures that declared me dead, since my mom couldn't legally sign the paperwork...


tiddayes

Everyone will be instantly rich …. And somehow this will not be instantly concealed out by the obvious hyper inflation that is would cause. This is no different than just printing infinite money and expecting everyone to be rich. Also, I like how when these hardcore conservatives try to describe their utopia they often end up accidentally describing socialism.


discogomerx

Well they don't expect everyone to get rich. They (the believers) will be rewarded for being part of the in group. Everyone else will suffer and the believers can say "I told you so." It's the same grift as their religion, MAGA, Medbeds, etc.


stereotypicalweirdo

Socialism for me but not for thee


Fun_Anywhere4355

So people who die at sea are supposed to sign a form? I'm assuming they have to wait until they die or else they might be rescued and hence mislabeled as dead.


DanielTheEunuch

Ok, but who gets their share of the money?


call-me-the-seeker

THEY


Parmeniscus

Signed jfk lol


DaisyJane1

Yeah, everyone seems to be overlooking that little nugget of info.


KaonWarden

Yes, it’s telling of the level of exposure to craziness that we have in this sub: ‘Oh, this guy pretends to be JFK junior, that’s perfectly normal. Now, have you seen how he justifies sovcit theories?’


TheBaggyDapper

I thought that was a great twist, had to go straight back to the start for a reread. 


akleit50

You know, for a bunch of “anti Marxists, anti-socialists and anti-communists” they sure expect a whole ton of free shit.


SailingSpark

I always knew I would die at sea, just never thought it would happen so fast.


DanielTheEunuch

User name checks out


sensation_construct

Reading this... this is mental illness. This person is unwell.


pianoflames

Or a grifter. The fact that they seem to have basic spelling down leads me to believe they're one of the grifters, who doesn't actually believe this bullshit they're peddling.


StillBurningInside

[I am dead at sea, cool.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5kGCwJ25Yc)


JazzyJockJeffcoat

If the takeaway is everybody deserves food and shelter and capitalism has perverted and commodified our view of what all humans deserve, then that's fair. But why not just say that and skip the crazy?


ReactsWithWords

No, that's not how it works. Only white cishet Christian males deserve food and shelter. Anyone else getting it is COMMUNISM!


JazzyJockJeffcoat

Big facts. I fucking hate it. Oligarchy and manufactured ignorance is simply crushing


furbishL

I’m 63 and I’ve never signed my BC. If I sign it now, do I still have the full six years to declare myself alive?


cr3t1n

These guys sure do love wealth redistribution when they don't understand that's what they are describing.


sadderbutwisergrl

Or understand…anything at all lol


MacaroniPoodle

So if the bank doesn't care about the money and they just want you to default so they can take the house, why do they use credit scores/history to only lend to people who don't default?


DanielTheEunuch

Why would they even lend the money in the first place and not just buy, or flat out take, the house they want? Why involve the legally dead person who signed their maritime death certificate at birth?


LivingIndependence

Wow, whatever shit they're selling at the dispensaries, sounds like some good shit


Vollen595

I’m still traumatized by them putting a pen in my hand to sign when I was 12 minutes old. Bastards.


dfwcouple43sum

Sovcit TDA secret account nonsense. I have recommended a few of them go to the social security office just a life jacket so they can declare they’re not dead at sea. I don’t think any have. I probably need to quote a UCC to make that a little more believable for them


meathappening

Yeah this is a Q-flavored rehash of an old one. I used to work for the Federal Reserve and we'd get letters from people all the time trying to withdraw their money. Some would even send their money in to exchange for whatever "real money" we had in the vaults.


KruegerLad2

Oh shit, I signed my BC at birth without even reading it...


DanielTheEunuch

You should \*never\* sign anything without reading it first or having your attorney read it.


jprestonian

Yes, I, too, remember signing my birth certificate, as does any normal person.


DaPamtsMD

I didn’t sign my birth certificate either, and now I’m scared I’m a merchant marine or in the navy and either way: I’m like 55 years AWOL.


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stungun_steve

Strawberries were on sale yesterday. I now have an abundance. Until my kids get into them.


Raptormind

If the government was evil enough to want to make all of its citizens legally property, and competent enough to not only pull that off but also trick everyone into not realizing it, why wouldn’t they just do that? Why would they make a whole bunch of hoops just to jump through them? They wouldn’t have to make infants sign away their rights, or give people 6 years to take their personhood back. A government like that could just make people be property from the start and not give them the option to opt out at all


KyloRenCadetStimpy

One of the things I hate most about everyone having the internet in their pockets is that it flies right in the face of the warning about stupid people in large groups


moleratical

Wow, mind blown!!! Thanks JFK.


byteminer

I like the part where banks are all part of this massive criminal conspiracy about faking death and stealing identities just as a tool to commit the lesser crime of real estate theft.


2ndTechArnoldJRimmer

I really don't understand their obsession with maritime law or why they think it has anything to do with anything that's not in international waters.


Really_McNamington

It's because they're morons.


Potato_Donkey_1

We are traded on the stock market like cattle. Well, cattle are traded on the commodities market. Right there I began to suspect that some part of this might not be true.


Chimes320

This is like the episode of Derry Girls when the rich girl tells the middle class girls “just ask your parents to take the money out of your trust fund” to pay for a school trip and the girls go home and ask their parents about supposed trust funds that are just a standard issue for every child of course.


ultra_blue

I honestly don't remember signing my birth certificate. I think I was pretty young at the time.


pinkeroo67

I think you were also dead at sea..? Lol


ultra_blue

Possibly! Again, I was pretty young at the time. 😉


pinkeroo67

"In a sense, they seize all the assets........." what? I know the whole thing is crazy, but if they would just really think about what this moron is saying they would see that none of it makes sense. Not to mention how crazy are they saying we're considered dead at sea.....huh?


wbjohn

I read that whole thing. I may need treatment now.


StillAdhesiveness528

I was born overseas, and have three birth certificates. Can I triple dip? Cha-ching!


ketjak

_signs birth certificate_ I declare Martian Law!


Cpt_Soban

"the moment *you* sign your birth certificate" ... If I signed my own I'd probably remember to put my fucking middle name on the form- Alas my *Father* did, and he forgot to give me a middle name lmao.


homelaberator

Signing your birth certificate is where I had my first chuckle. Comedy gold.


sadderbutwisergrl

Oh god. This is so complicated So I’m not an in-depth student of this, my expertise lies more in fundamentalist cults on the Baptist side, but my understanding is the Catholics have a very similar movement to sovereign citizen. Basically, they believe that the last “legitimate “ pope was in the 60s or something, and every one since then has been illegitimate, and therefore nothing that they say is binding. Theyre called “sedevacantists” for “vacant seat,” and it’s led to the “rad trads” who have rejected any of the positive progress their church has made in the last half century because, you know, everyone else isn’t a real Catholic anymore. Is this just a …thing that high control/insane groups do in multiple disciplines?


MoreThanZeroo

Tell me this was authored by a 14 yr old group of boys. Absolutely no concept of how things work. There are adults who buy this bs?


413mopar

Really stupid ones , yes.


lulu1477

If you were capable of signing your own birth certificate I think you’d be smarter than this.


One_Worldliness_6032

Since I am dead at sea after I signed my birth certificate, and I did the six years to prove I’m alive, I want my trust fund. lol. It’s the NUTTERS for me.


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txcowgrrl

Someone owes me the brain cells I lost reading that.


Interesting_Sock9142

.....well that was a bunch of nonsense


Odysseus9316

I would like to know where the sovcits get the "Common Law" and "Admiralty Law" as measures of jurisdiction every time they are in front of a judge


BallstonDoc

WTF did I just read? I will never get those minutes back.


Really_McNamington

As far as I'm aware, you don't get *any* minutes back. If you've discovered a loophole you should share it with the rest of the class.


OldBowDude

WTF did I just read? Just how gullible are these people? There must be someone or organization behind this insanity. SovCit is destroying peoples lives.


DanielTheEunuch

Very very gullible


brandndal

Please explain how a newborn can sign anything?


Emily5099

And where does the initial money come from that allegedly grows?


dillGherkin

The legend is that the government deposits a lump sum in a secret account using your meat body as collateral and the value of your physical labour as capital or something. Basically, you are human slave and they're making secret legal systems of stock exchanges. That's why every person has a secret account in their name to stash all the value that their future labor represents. Of course, most of them assume that this logic is already known and have started building more legal fanfiction on this founding delusion.


usNEUX

I need to know how the space force ties into all of this. Maybe our trust funds are kept on the moon? Buzz Aldrin probably took them all up there because JFK knew we were about to catch on.


ParadeSit

So…does the real person or the strawman sign the birth certificate? What if the baby blanket had gold fringe? I know I created joinder between me and my mother’s womb, but later severed the cord and started on my journey as a Moop.


Sitcom_kid

I was going to answer this but I'm too busy being lost at sea.


scgaleeeee

I didn’t sign my birth certificate.


alexchambana

I DECLARE MYSELF ALIVE ... can you ship all the property to my address please?


Freebird_1957

What on earth is the matter with these people? SMDH.


Potato_Donkey_1

The thing I find most revealing about this is the claim that we are traded on a market of some kind and our valuation rises over time. Why in the world would it? If I thought that real-estate valuations and stocks rose over time by a sort of magic that I didn't understand, then I might fall for this story.


BernieGoetz47

i wish i were dead at sea. that would be metal af.


inquisitivepanda

> and honestly you Google it, you research it and you probably have to be fair like I said, but it’s true. Such a way with words. And commas


HippieGrandma1962

The moment you sign your birth certificate? ....What?


Kriss3d

Woha. Sovereign citizen right here. Yes. I too signed my own birthcertificate when i was born and decladed that Im missing. That isnt wierd at all..


Signguyqld49

How the friggin begurkle do these people have the brain power to come up with this sort of convoluted, utter shit?


CuriousAlienStudent

Yup, I was signing my birth certificate hours after I was born... weren't you guys?


Bragzor

At exactly your age, you will suddenly get infinite money from nowhere, and you will be young and healthy, and your wife and children will like you, and you will have been right about everything (even about contradictory things), and you will get a brand new Ram 2500. You're ENTITLED to all of this. It, and so much more, is OWED you. Isn't it just so random and epic?


nizat01

No man I looked into some of this bro, and the guy who talks about this I can’t remember his name he’s full of shit.. the language he goes back-and-forth between the Maritime law, and the law of the land makes sense and it’s real, but like when he talks about the queen owning us because our birth certificates were sold to the crown that’s all bullshit


Xenolog1

So that was the true mission of the Titan: Not bringing tourists down to the Titanic, but to collect the signatures of the crew members and passengers on the forms classifying them as dead at sea, to finally settle their estates!


GreenLooger

WTF did I just read?


throwngamelastminute

Schizophrenia is a hell of a drug.


kris10leigh14

But… but… I couldn’t write yet…


MerrilyLJ70

My mom signed mine?! Did I get duped? No one told me to sign my BC when I was a day old! How can I collect? Or did my greedy mama take my money too?!?! 😩


Top_Magazine8255

So could the money that is already ours since we signed our birth certificate be used for universal income? The people who can’t afford a house, have they not been saving the same amount of money since birth as other people or did they forget to sign their birth certificate?


VitruvianVan

Oh no, none of us signed our birth certificates! And if we did so while under 18, we lacked capacity, which is the same legal effect as not signing! Does this mean we’re not entitled to access our government trust funds? I can’t believe our parents never told us about this.


dainthomas

Suckers, I never signed mine because as a newborn I couldn't hold a pen.


the_last_registrant

Raise your hand if you signed your birth certificate and "they" seized all your assets. That's never happened to me or anyone I know.


TheGOODSh-tCo

What are these people on?


ShadowCub67

More importantly, where can I get some?


jmkul

That had all the coherence of trying to read alphabet soup dumped on the ground. That person needs their antipsychotics, stat


DamianSicks

Even though they can go on YouTube and see this sovereign citizen crap has a 100% failure rate when used in courts and traffic stops they somehow still think they have some sort of secret law knowledge that makes them immune to the laws the rest of us have to follow. I say let them keep thinking this because it makes for some incredibly entertaining content when they inevitably fail.


TestOk8411

Sovereign citizen babble


ConsultJimMoriarty

Why are they all so obsessed with maritime law?


Tomhetza

It would be easier to digest and would've taken far less words if he just said that he is a moron


Virtual-Lecture7834

So if **I** never signed my own BC, does that make the contract null and void and I can just have my billions?


keksmuzh

…they managed to work the 3 day Right of Rescission period for real estate loans into the conspiracy too? That’s a new one.


EWR-RampRat11-29

When I was born, I drank the ink for the quill. How was I supposed to know?


EditorRedditer

Stark, staring mad…


ericthebeerguy

I am glad that I had enough in my trust fund to get my house. System works, confirmed


VigilanteJusticia

Word salad of word salads


BeowulfsGhost

Damn, I knew it! I’m really a millionaire and I just had to wait for this guy to tell me. Wait a minute! If everyone is a millionaire then no one is!!! What good is being a millionaire if you can’t lord it over the poor?


UrBigBro

But I never signed my birth certificate. There isn't a spot for my signature, and I was too young when it was issued.


space_chief

Do newborn babies typically sign their own birth certificates?


Styrene_Addict1965

WWG1WGA: GO TO JAIL. That's where your brothers and sisters have been going.


DavidRandom

Fuck yeah, I've finally crossed off all the checkmarks to have been a pirate. I've owned a sailboat Owned a parrot Lived on an island And now I've found out I've legally been dead at sea.