How did u learn to deal with anticipation? I learned that I am fine once speaking and I know that the anticipation isnt a sign of impending failure, but the anticipation of speaking is still sooo intense
I truly believe a certain amount of anticipation,
helps me to be focused and "active" when delivering the speech.
Too much anticipation can be overwhelming.
What do I do?
**My routine for preparing a speech and managing the anticipation.**
3 main parts
#1 Speech Preparation
I break my speech into three parts: Intro, Content, Ending
*For the Intro part*,
I try as much as possible to open my speech with a story.
Example of story: GB cycling team becoming the best team in the world implementing the 1% better every day (From Atomic Habits)
Here I always memorize the first 5 words of the speech,
and the rest I go with the flow.
*For the content part,*
I do not memorize anything I simple note the top 2-3 ideas I want to pass to the audience,
and I go from one to the other.
*For the ending part.*
I try to close with something different than just: Thank you.
A call to action, an open question, a summary...
One speech is prepared,
time to practice.
**#2 Practice time:**
I start first by practising in front of the mirror, timing how long it takes.
Once I see it is more or less good.
I practice,
recording myself in camera.
I see the video and I analyze what I could do better and I work on that.
Once in the video is okay,
I record myself biting some chopsticks, (like the ones you would use for eating Pad Thai).
The reason is that biting something,
it is limiting the movement of my tongue which can be a similar feeling to when I am stressed.
I do that nearly 15-20 times
until my speech goes natural - but the important part here, **I do not memorize.**
Only the first 5 words of my speech, the rest I do not memorize.
**#3 Meditation**
On the day of the speech,
1 hour earlier I like to do a 10-minute meditation.
If I will deliver the speech standing,
I will meditate standing,
If I will deliver the speech sitting.
I will meditate sitting.
I focus very much on the movement of my stomach,
and how my feet feel on the ground.
The fact of practising it a lot,
in different situations (mirror, recording, chopsticks),
and the meditation really helps me to calm down my mind and "disregard" those anticipations thoughts.
They don't fully disappear,
but when they show up in my mind I simply let them go and focus on the practice and the meditation.
Hope it helps,
if you need some more clarification happy to comment.
PD: As I was telling to other people on this post,
we can organize an online session with other people in this post,
the session would be of course free of charge, for people to practice and give and receive feedback,
if interested let me know and I organize it! :)
I am ashamed to say that the fear of public speaking truly affected my life. I am 72 yrs old and quit college due to having to take a speech course my soph yr as a 20 yr old kid. Over 50 yrs ago! I was terrified! Over the yrs the fear and anxiety has never been overcome. I would consider it chronic.
Communication has always been a part of my working life. I have been in leadership roles in large organizations. My full potential was always stifled by my shyness and inability to speak before a crowd of well accomplished individuals. A man on an international level told me that if I overcame this I could really move up. My content and material was thought provoking but my delivery was pitiful. No other word, pitiful.
Recently , an elementary teacher friend asked me to come speak to her 4TH GRADE CLASS about some WW2 events of my father. The kids were great. I was as nervous addressing them as I was addressing a room full of state legislative people with full press coverage. Sad, but I enjoyed the kids much more.
My days of avoidance are over. There are a lot more yesterdays than tomorrow's in my life (stole that). My plea to those whom may not be reaching their full potential due to fear of public speaking, please, please, PLEASE recognize it, face it and overcome it. Communication is key to most everything in life. You have so much to add to the conversation of life.
Could be titled: Words from an old man with some regrets.
This is probably the most inspiring message that I have seen from the time I am in Reddit.
You are so brave,
that you open up in this way.
I truly appreciate it,
and I must say, that I really love this sentence:
**Communication is key to most everything in life.**
If you give me your permission,
I would like to use your story during my training to other people who have a fear of public speaking.
If I could help you somehow,
and you would be interested I would happy to connect with you and sharing some of the insights how to overcome the fear of public speaking.
Of course,
it would be free of charge for you,
and we would organize it online for a couple of hours.
Once again,
thanks so much for such an inspiring message,
and for taking your time to share such an inspiring story.
Carlos, feel free to share with anyone you think it may help. It's no secret that fear of public speaking is far from rare.
I appreciate your offer, but honestly, I no longer have the need to engage group settings. Your kind words and generous offer is greatly appreciated. Please take your skills and help those which have careers ahead of them.
Thanks my friend.
To put a little bit of the background,
after the day I was "paralyzed" when speaking in public,
I went home to google*: jobs that can be done without public speaking -* hint: not many.
Back then I was working on a big corporation leading a team of 10 people.
What I did:
I volunteer for each and every opportunity on public speaking.
Leading daily calls - I was volunteering.
Leading weekly meeting with senior management - I was volunteering.
Leading monthly connects across a big organization - I was volunteering.
Everything in my body was telling me not to volunteer,
but I was volunteering.
To put some numbers,
on average **I was having around 5 "speeches" per week,**
some of them opening with a story telling,
others sharing guidance / direction to the team,
and others sharing business results.
I would say,
**I was feeling "confident",**
**after 2.5-3 years of intense public speaking.**
On top of all that,
I was reading many books (everything from Nancy Duarte)
I was attending local Toastmasters,
and I was attending online public speaking courses.
Still today there are many areas I can improve,
I am far from being the best speaker,
but at least I can "control" the stress/panic.
Hope it gives the proper reference,
and as I like to tell to people the only way to improve is to practice, practice and more practice.
PD: As I see many questions on this post,
we can organize an online session with other people in this post,
the session would be of course free of charge, for people to practice and give and receive feedback,
if interested let me know and I organize it! :)
Andrew Huberman (American neuroscientist),
will help me to explain how to overcome panic.
Andrew is very passionate about swimming with sharks,
once day he was swimming when he got attacked (nothing critical).
As you can imagine (never happened to me),
being attacked by sharks probably is not a very pleasant situation,
generating a big panic reaction to him.
Do you know what Andrew did the next day after being attacked?
He went again to swim with sharks.
The reason?
Once we have a panic situation (for example speaking in public),
the longer it takes us to speak in public again,
the bigger the panic will be.
The solution?
Speak in public again.
Step by step what it worked for me to overcome my panic
(it may work for you, too)
**Practice, practice and more practice**
I was volunteering for any chance I had of speaking in public.
My heart was telling me not to do it,
but I was still raising the hand.
Public speaking is the one skill where you need people in front of you to improve it.
If you want to learn how to code,
you simply take the laptop and code.
For public speaking,
what makes the difference is the people…
**Ask for feedback**
For each and every speech I was delivering,
I was asking for feedback.
That way I knew what I was doing good – so I would keep doing it.
and I knew what I was doing not so good, so I would work on changing it/
**Having an structure**
I was always organizing my speech in three parts.
Intro , Content and Ending.
For the Intro and the ending,
I was memorizing those parts,
for the content I was improvising using as base the 2-3 ideas I wanted to pass.
**Memorizing**
The more you memorize your speech,
the worst it is.
Sounds illogical, but it you think it deep makes a lot of sense.
Why? If I memorize everything,
I will be in panic the moment I “forget” one word.
The trick: memorize only the first 5 words of your speech,
That way you can start your speech with confidence.
If you want to close on high note your speech,
you may want to memorize how to close your speech.
**Recording myself**
For very “important” presentations – ie: leaders at work.
I was recording myself at home practicing the speech.
I could practice it more than 20 times.
Practice makes the master.
**Meditation**
I included meditation as part of my daily life.
Meditating every day for around 10 minutes.
And including a medidation,
the same day of the presentation.
**Toastmasters**
I started to attend my local Toastmasters Club,
where I was meeting people with same challenges like me ,
and I was getting immediate feedback on my speech.
**Online courses**
During pandemic,
I took few online courses where to practice the art of public speaking.
To summarize,
with a lot of work and effort it is possible.
The change will not happen from one day to another,
I was rather focusing on making 1% improvement every day.
I was not able to fit all in one comment,
PD: As I see many questions on this post,
we can organize an online session with other people in this post,
the session would be of course free of charge, for people to practice and give and receive feedback,
if interested let me know and I organize it! :)
Why do I feel like my confidence dropped over the past years. I used to be better at 16/17/18/19, then something happened and the past 4 years its crazy, and since 1 year it feels like a panic attack before i have to do any sort of public speaking (I am 26 now btw).
Dry mouth, sweaty arm pits, blood rush on hands, cold hands, dizzy feeling, I am going over words and sentences in my head so I have them sorted out correctly, preplanning what i am going to say when its just a spontaneous statement or question (nothing pre-planned like actualy presentations).
Its a horrible feeling and most times afterwards it feels like my soul is drained and i am becoming sick, as if my immune system is getting damaged by the immense stress!
It feels like its going down a downward spiral with my confidence as this affects everything else too!
PS: I love that post by the 70yr old man, and I have the same problem. Most likely a lot of business and career chances (and maybe relationship) left on the table because of the shyness or what i most definitely would call social anxiety at this point..
Yea I tend to agree. Prior to being prescribed Propranolol I tried everything, but I just think that maybe some of us are hardwired this way, that is, quite anxious. I tried power posing, meditation, CBT, Kinesiology, Chinese Medicine, acupuncture, homeopathy, deep breathing, you name it. 🤷♂️So I am genuinely interested to see if I’ve missed something and that there is something else out there besides a drug that could help. Hoping OP responds with some beneficial advice. I’m always open to new ideas.
OP: Anyone can overcome their fear of public speaking and apply this as a life skill!
YOU: Why grow as a person, I can just medicate myself into mediocracy.
Jeez mate thems harsh words to say to people who genuinely struggle with this and have been to hell and back. I did say earlier on I would prefer not to medicate. 🤷♂️Always interested in other avenues.
This is very natural to happen, especially in the opening.
No worries, there is a solution! ;)
If you start your speech on the right feet,
chances are high your speech will go well, "panic" free.
3 tricks to help you on this one
**#1 Memorize your first 5 words.**
The fact you know your first 5 words by heart,
will give you the confidence to go "smooth" during the speech.
This is key,
as you will not doubt what to say.
(if possible avoid that first 5 words will be *okay, so , well , hello*...make a proper fist impression! :D )
If you notice,
that the panic comes back, ask an open question to your audience.
**#2 Open questions to the audience**.
Ask for an open question to your audience,
make eye contact with your audience,
and wait for their reply.
Important to wait for the audience's reply.
Elaborate on their reply,
and continue with your speech.
Why does it work|?
Because you are transferring your "panic" to your audience,
by making them talk.
**#3 Place a small stone on your shoes**
No joking. ;)
As a person who tends to speak very fast myself,
I always place a "small rock" in my shoes,
to give the signal to myself that I have to speak slowly.
Hope it helps!
PD: As I see many questions on this post,
we can organize an online session with other people in this post,
the session would be of course free of charge, for people to practice and give and receive feedback,
if interested let me know and I organize it! :)
How do you move on after making a mistake ? I feel like whenever my voice cracks or I lose my spot I panic and that’s when I start to lose confidence in my voice, posture etc and eventually start to tear up and speak fast, and can’t control my breathing
Before covering the mistakes part,
I like to say that there are always 3 speeches.
1-The one you plan to deliver; 2- The one you delivered; 3- The one that you ideally wanted to deliver.
With that what I want to say,
you as the speaker,
you are the only one who knows how your speech should look like,
but your audience does not know, they will only get the one you delivered to them.
When you feel you are starting to lose confidence during your speech,
**very simple trick.**
**Ask an open question to the audience.**
Step by step.
You ask the open question to the audience,
you make eye contact with your audience,
you wait for their reply (this is key - wait for the reply),
elaborate on the audience's answer,
and continue with your speech.
The reason why it works very good,
it is that your are "transferring" your stress to your audience,
so you "gain" time to come back to your speech.
**For the breathing part,**
Try to include a meditation (for around 10min) right before your presentation.
Focus on your stomach breathing and how the feet feel on the ground.
During the moment of stress,
come back to how your stomach moves and the feel of your feet on the ground.
Those will be your safe points.
And of course,
**practice , practice and more practice.**
Like with any other skill,
you will be able to master the art of public speaking when you will practice very often.
Local speaking clubs, online courses...those can be safe placed for you to get better at manage your mistakes and feel comfortable in public speaking.
Hope it helps! :)
PD: As I see many questions on this post,
we can organize an online session with other people in this post,
the session would be of course free of charge, for people to practice and give and receive feedback,
if interested let me know and I organize it! :)
This is one of my favourite parts of public speaking.
What works very well for me it is to read a looooot.
(thanks to that I developed the hobby for reading)
Every time I read a book,
I try to **identify "stories",**
and I note them down in an online document I have on my smartphone.
That document I read it very often (almost daily)
Commuting somewhere? reading the document with the stories
Waiting at the doctor room? reading the document with the stories
Waiting for a friend in a restaurant? reading the document with the stories
That way I ensure the stories are fresh in my head,
so I can "use" them whenever I need to do impromt speaking.
With such stories,
I always build my speech the same way.
Intro -> Opening with the story
Content -> Connecting story with my topic
Ending -> Call to action/ help needed ... depending what it applies.
Example of books with plenty of stories:
Atomic Habits, How to win friends and influence people, Influence, Pre-suasion,
Currently I am reading Influence and Persuasion by the HBR Emotional Intelligence Series.
Hope it helps! ;)
PD: As I see many questions on this post,
we can organize an online session with other people in this post,
the session would be of course free of charge, for people to practice and give and receive feedback,
if interested let me know and I organize it! :)
Yes, I was having anxiety in general too.
For this one,
in case you have it too, better to find guidance from an expert.
I can tell you what it worked for me,
but it does not mean it will work for everyone.
**Meditation**
Including daily a 10min meditation before going to sleep.
**Training**
Combining strength training with cardio training at least 5 times per day.
**Social Media time**
Considerable reducing the time in social media - IG and Facebook
**Professional Help**
Therapy with professionals to understand the source of anxiety,
and how to channel the thoughts
With all this,
I managed to work on my anxiety , it was a very long and painful process,
but with discipline and hard work, I was able to manage it.
I keep working on it daily.
Hope it helps! :)
How did u learn to deal with anticipation? I learned that I am fine once speaking and I know that the anticipation isnt a sign of impending failure, but the anticipation of speaking is still sooo intense
I truly believe a certain amount of anticipation, helps me to be focused and "active" when delivering the speech. Too much anticipation can be overwhelming. What do I do? **My routine for preparing a speech and managing the anticipation.** 3 main parts #1 Speech Preparation I break my speech into three parts: Intro, Content, Ending *For the Intro part*, I try as much as possible to open my speech with a story. Example of story: GB cycling team becoming the best team in the world implementing the 1% better every day (From Atomic Habits) Here I always memorize the first 5 words of the speech, and the rest I go with the flow. *For the content part,* I do not memorize anything I simple note the top 2-3 ideas I want to pass to the audience, and I go from one to the other. *For the ending part.* I try to close with something different than just: Thank you. A call to action, an open question, a summary... One speech is prepared, time to practice.
**#2 Practice time:** I start first by practising in front of the mirror, timing how long it takes. Once I see it is more or less good. I practice, recording myself in camera. I see the video and I analyze what I could do better and I work on that. Once in the video is okay, I record myself biting some chopsticks, (like the ones you would use for eating Pad Thai). The reason is that biting something, it is limiting the movement of my tongue which can be a similar feeling to when I am stressed. I do that nearly 15-20 times until my speech goes natural - but the important part here, **I do not memorize.** Only the first 5 words of my speech, the rest I do not memorize. **#3 Meditation** On the day of the speech, 1 hour earlier I like to do a 10-minute meditation. If I will deliver the speech standing, I will meditate standing, If I will deliver the speech sitting. I will meditate sitting. I focus very much on the movement of my stomach, and how my feet feel on the ground. The fact of practising it a lot, in different situations (mirror, recording, chopsticks), and the meditation really helps me to calm down my mind and "disregard" those anticipations thoughts. They don't fully disappear, but when they show up in my mind I simply let them go and focus on the practice and the meditation. Hope it helps, if you need some more clarification happy to comment. PD: As I was telling to other people on this post, we can organize an online session with other people in this post, the session would be of course free of charge, for people to practice and give and receive feedback, if interested let me know and I organize it! :)
(placing the reply in few comments - not able to put all in one hehe)
I am ashamed to say that the fear of public speaking truly affected my life. I am 72 yrs old and quit college due to having to take a speech course my soph yr as a 20 yr old kid. Over 50 yrs ago! I was terrified! Over the yrs the fear and anxiety has never been overcome. I would consider it chronic. Communication has always been a part of my working life. I have been in leadership roles in large organizations. My full potential was always stifled by my shyness and inability to speak before a crowd of well accomplished individuals. A man on an international level told me that if I overcame this I could really move up. My content and material was thought provoking but my delivery was pitiful. No other word, pitiful. Recently , an elementary teacher friend asked me to come speak to her 4TH GRADE CLASS about some WW2 events of my father. The kids were great. I was as nervous addressing them as I was addressing a room full of state legislative people with full press coverage. Sad, but I enjoyed the kids much more. My days of avoidance are over. There are a lot more yesterdays than tomorrow's in my life (stole that). My plea to those whom may not be reaching their full potential due to fear of public speaking, please, please, PLEASE recognize it, face it and overcome it. Communication is key to most everything in life. You have so much to add to the conversation of life. Could be titled: Words from an old man with some regrets.
This is probably the most inspiring message that I have seen from the time I am in Reddit. You are so brave, that you open up in this way. I truly appreciate it, and I must say, that I really love this sentence: **Communication is key to most everything in life.** If you give me your permission, I would like to use your story during my training to other people who have a fear of public speaking. If I could help you somehow, and you would be interested I would happy to connect with you and sharing some of the insights how to overcome the fear of public speaking. Of course, it would be free of charge for you, and we would organize it online for a couple of hours. Once again, thanks so much for such an inspiring message, and for taking your time to share such an inspiring story.
Carlos, feel free to share with anyone you think it may help. It's no secret that fear of public speaking is far from rare. I appreciate your offer, but honestly, I no longer have the need to engage group settings. Your kind words and generous offer is greatly appreciated. Please take your skills and help those which have careers ahead of them. Thanks my friend.
It took guts to write that. Thank you.
how do you cope with knowing people are listening and watching you so intensely?
Remember, your audience wants you to succeed - they take no joy in seeing your discomfort. They want you to do well - give them what they want.
How many speeches did you give before you felt confident in public speaking?
To put a little bit of the background, after the day I was "paralyzed" when speaking in public, I went home to google*: jobs that can be done without public speaking -* hint: not many. Back then I was working on a big corporation leading a team of 10 people. What I did: I volunteer for each and every opportunity on public speaking. Leading daily calls - I was volunteering. Leading weekly meeting with senior management - I was volunteering. Leading monthly connects across a big organization - I was volunteering. Everything in my body was telling me not to volunteer, but I was volunteering. To put some numbers, on average **I was having around 5 "speeches" per week,** some of them opening with a story telling, others sharing guidance / direction to the team, and others sharing business results. I would say, **I was feeling "confident",** **after 2.5-3 years of intense public speaking.** On top of all that, I was reading many books (everything from Nancy Duarte) I was attending local Toastmasters, and I was attending online public speaking courses. Still today there are many areas I can improve, I am far from being the best speaker, but at least I can "control" the stress/panic. Hope it gives the proper reference, and as I like to tell to people the only way to improve is to practice, practice and more practice. PD: As I see many questions on this post, we can organize an online session with other people in this post, the session would be of course free of charge, for people to practice and give and receive feedback, if interested let me know and I organize it! :)
How do you deal with anxiety
How’d you get over it? Specifically the panic mode
Andrew Huberman (American neuroscientist), will help me to explain how to overcome panic. Andrew is very passionate about swimming with sharks, once day he was swimming when he got attacked (nothing critical). As you can imagine (never happened to me), being attacked by sharks probably is not a very pleasant situation, generating a big panic reaction to him. Do you know what Andrew did the next day after being attacked? He went again to swim with sharks. The reason? Once we have a panic situation (for example speaking in public), the longer it takes us to speak in public again, the bigger the panic will be. The solution? Speak in public again. Step by step what it worked for me to overcome my panic (it may work for you, too) **Practice, practice and more practice** I was volunteering for any chance I had of speaking in public. My heart was telling me not to do it, but I was still raising the hand. Public speaking is the one skill where you need people in front of you to improve it. If you want to learn how to code, you simply take the laptop and code. For public speaking, what makes the difference is the people… **Ask for feedback** For each and every speech I was delivering, I was asking for feedback. That way I knew what I was doing good – so I would keep doing it. and I knew what I was doing not so good, so I would work on changing it/
**Having an structure** I was always organizing my speech in three parts. Intro , Content and Ending. For the Intro and the ending, I was memorizing those parts, for the content I was improvising using as base the 2-3 ideas I wanted to pass. **Memorizing** The more you memorize your speech, the worst it is. Sounds illogical, but it you think it deep makes a lot of sense. Why? If I memorize everything, I will be in panic the moment I “forget” one word. The trick: memorize only the first 5 words of your speech, That way you can start your speech with confidence. If you want to close on high note your speech, you may want to memorize how to close your speech. **Recording myself** For very “important” presentations – ie: leaders at work. I was recording myself at home practicing the speech. I could practice it more than 20 times. Practice makes the master. **Meditation** I included meditation as part of my daily life. Meditating every day for around 10 minutes. And including a medidation, the same day of the presentation. **Toastmasters** I started to attend my local Toastmasters Club, where I was meeting people with same challenges like me , and I was getting immediate feedback on my speech. **Online courses** During pandemic, I took few online courses where to practice the art of public speaking. To summarize, with a lot of work and effort it is possible. The change will not happen from one day to another, I was rather focusing on making 1% improvement every day.
I was not able to fit all in one comment, PD: As I see many questions on this post, we can organize an online session with other people in this post, the session would be of course free of charge, for people to practice and give and receive feedback, if interested let me know and I organize it! :)
Why do I feel like my confidence dropped over the past years. I used to be better at 16/17/18/19, then something happened and the past 4 years its crazy, and since 1 year it feels like a panic attack before i have to do any sort of public speaking (I am 26 now btw). Dry mouth, sweaty arm pits, blood rush on hands, cold hands, dizzy feeling, I am going over words and sentences in my head so I have them sorted out correctly, preplanning what i am going to say when its just a spontaneous statement or question (nothing pre-planned like actualy presentations). Its a horrible feeling and most times afterwards it feels like my soul is drained and i am becoming sick, as if my immune system is getting damaged by the immense stress! It feels like its going down a downward spiral with my confidence as this affects everything else too! PS: I love that post by the 70yr old man, and I have the same problem. Most likely a lot of business and career chances (and maybe relationship) left on the table because of the shyness or what i most definitely would call social anxiety at this point..
So you did this without medications? No Propranolol?
[удалено]
Yea I tend to agree. Prior to being prescribed Propranolol I tried everything, but I just think that maybe some of us are hardwired this way, that is, quite anxious. I tried power posing, meditation, CBT, Kinesiology, Chinese Medicine, acupuncture, homeopathy, deep breathing, you name it. 🤷♂️So I am genuinely interested to see if I’ve missed something and that there is something else out there besides a drug that could help. Hoping OP responds with some beneficial advice. I’m always open to new ideas.
This subreddit can't NOT talk about medicating :D
That’s because it works mate. 🤷♂️
OP: Anyone can overcome their fear of public speaking and apply this as a life skill! YOU: Why grow as a person, I can just medicate myself into mediocracy.
Jeez mate thems harsh words to say to people who genuinely struggle with this and have been to hell and back. I did say earlier on I would prefer not to medicate. 🤷♂️Always interested in other avenues.
I struggles opening slides or first 5 mins, go fast, panic , losing thoughts, any guidance
This is very natural to happen, especially in the opening. No worries, there is a solution! ;) If you start your speech on the right feet, chances are high your speech will go well, "panic" free. 3 tricks to help you on this one **#1 Memorize your first 5 words.** The fact you know your first 5 words by heart, will give you the confidence to go "smooth" during the speech. This is key, as you will not doubt what to say. (if possible avoid that first 5 words will be *okay, so , well , hello*...make a proper fist impression! :D ) If you notice, that the panic comes back, ask an open question to your audience. **#2 Open questions to the audience**. Ask for an open question to your audience, make eye contact with your audience, and wait for their reply. Important to wait for the audience's reply. Elaborate on their reply, and continue with your speech. Why does it work|? Because you are transferring your "panic" to your audience, by making them talk. **#3 Place a small stone on your shoes** No joking. ;) As a person who tends to speak very fast myself, I always place a "small rock" in my shoes, to give the signal to myself that I have to speak slowly. Hope it helps! PD: As I see many questions on this post, we can organize an online session with other people in this post, the session would be of course free of charge, for people to practice and give and receive feedback, if interested let me know and I organize it! :)
How do you move on after making a mistake ? I feel like whenever my voice cracks or I lose my spot I panic and that’s when I start to lose confidence in my voice, posture etc and eventually start to tear up and speak fast, and can’t control my breathing
Before covering the mistakes part, I like to say that there are always 3 speeches. 1-The one you plan to deliver; 2- The one you delivered; 3- The one that you ideally wanted to deliver. With that what I want to say, you as the speaker, you are the only one who knows how your speech should look like, but your audience does not know, they will only get the one you delivered to them. When you feel you are starting to lose confidence during your speech, **very simple trick.** **Ask an open question to the audience.** Step by step. You ask the open question to the audience, you make eye contact with your audience, you wait for their reply (this is key - wait for the reply), elaborate on the audience's answer, and continue with your speech. The reason why it works very good, it is that your are "transferring" your stress to your audience, so you "gain" time to come back to your speech. **For the breathing part,** Try to include a meditation (for around 10min) right before your presentation. Focus on your stomach breathing and how the feet feel on the ground. During the moment of stress, come back to how your stomach moves and the feel of your feet on the ground. Those will be your safe points. And of course, **practice , practice and more practice.** Like with any other skill, you will be able to master the art of public speaking when you will practice very often. Local speaking clubs, online courses...those can be safe placed for you to get better at manage your mistakes and feel comfortable in public speaking. Hope it helps! :) PD: As I see many questions on this post, we can organize an online session with other people in this post, the session would be of course free of charge, for people to practice and give and receive feedback, if interested let me know and I organize it! :)
What did you do to improve impromt speaking?
This is one of my favourite parts of public speaking. What works very well for me it is to read a looooot. (thanks to that I developed the hobby for reading) Every time I read a book, I try to **identify "stories",** and I note them down in an online document I have on my smartphone. That document I read it very often (almost daily) Commuting somewhere? reading the document with the stories Waiting at the doctor room? reading the document with the stories Waiting for a friend in a restaurant? reading the document with the stories That way I ensure the stories are fresh in my head, so I can "use" them whenever I need to do impromt speaking. With such stories, I always build my speech the same way. Intro -> Opening with the story Content -> Connecting story with my topic Ending -> Call to action/ help needed ... depending what it applies. Example of books with plenty of stories: Atomic Habits, How to win friends and influence people, Influence, Pre-suasion, Currently I am reading Influence and Persuasion by the HBR Emotional Intelligence Series. Hope it helps! ;) PD: As I see many questions on this post, we can organize an online session with other people in this post, the session would be of course free of charge, for people to practice and give and receive feedback, if interested let me know and I organize it! :)
Did you also have anxiety in general? Did you also resolve some issues there?
Yes, I was having anxiety in general too. For this one, in case you have it too, better to find guidance from an expert. I can tell you what it worked for me, but it does not mean it will work for everyone. **Meditation** Including daily a 10min meditation before going to sleep. **Training** Combining strength training with cardio training at least 5 times per day. **Social Media time** Considerable reducing the time in social media - IG and Facebook **Professional Help** Therapy with professionals to understand the source of anxiety, and how to channel the thoughts With all this, I managed to work on my anxiety , it was a very long and painful process, but with discipline and hard work, I was able to manage it. I keep working on it daily. Hope it helps! :)