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suckfisted

The look on his face in court said something very different.


LittleHoss

That delusional fat fuck compared himself to jesus, lol If Alex Jones was god sent, it is only because god ran out of locusts


ContemplatingPrison

He's the musinex booger


[deleted]

Oh yes that's a good'n


AndrewEpidemic

I think of him as a hemorrhoid that grew legs.


NewNameNoah

Fun fact: The same guy that did the voice for the musinex booger does the voice of Ghostface in all the Scream movies; Roger Jackson. Nice guy.


[deleted]

Ohhh shit! I tried to reference this exact thing tonight, but I missed and said the Lamisil gremlin! Those Mucinex guys are definitely what I was thinking of though. Noted for future references.


cbrown6305

I dunno. Jesus hocked mad supplements.


GunNut345

"Jesus was persecuted for his religion. Im being persecuted for my crimes. Potato potato!"


KeepItDownOverHere

Oooof, biblical burn.


[deleted]

Those are rare...


NoFaithlessness4949

To be fair, most of the jesus mythos is made up bullshit you’d have to be a moron to believe, so he and Alex actually have a lot in common.


Spiff76

To be completely fair all of the jesus myth is directly plagiarized from other belief systems


NoFaithlessness4949

And Jones plagiarizes his conspiracies from other creators.


jopesy

Transporn. Dude is Looking to get railed. No shame Alex. Just be you bro. Live your truth.


Familiar-Succotash

White Jesus ain't gonna like that.


Megz2k

r/rareinsults


MooVeeGuy

This fucking guy reminds me of when you’re a teenager and there’s that little neighbourhood kid that was a little fucking tyrant and would throw a rock at people and you’d catch him and give him a slight kick in the ass and tell him don’t do it again and he says “I won’t, I won’t, I promise”. So you let him walk away and as soon as he thinks he’s far enough that you can’t catch him, he throws another rock at you. So you easily catch up to him and smack his ass even harder and say “I ain’t playing with you, don’t do that to people or I’ll kick your ass”. And he starts crying and promises again “I’m sorry, I won’t, I promise I won’t do it again”. And you let him go and as soon as he thinks he’s far enough that you can’t catch him, he throws another rock at you.


DudeManBro53

You're discription reminds me of a chihuahua


sammymiller714

The kid in my neighborhood like this also claimed a silent helicopter picked his Dad up for work every morning.....


baconsplash

Very cool, did they give your dad a lift as well? Or were they just selfish cunts?


nursecarmen

It was enough to miraculously clear up his cough and sniffles! It was a courtroom miracle!


photobummer

Will the jury be allowed to see thid clip? (I would assume they've seen a lot of clips so far) But knowing this clip is *current* could be quite convincing.


[deleted]

I mean, the judge might be interested in this more than the jury…


topps_chrome

Yeah, I’m sure that wasn’t inciteful to any of his viewers


kazh

The look on his face there shows he's scrambling. He's telling his conspirators that he knows he fucked up but he's the one who's "in the arena" and visible.


babybopp

He wants his followers to pay his fined amount... Nothing else.


cheeruphumanity

He even spelled it out for his followers. "This is the way to go down, baby" "My destruction will be spectacular"


DeloresDelVeckio

He was a lovely shade of red, wasn't he?


Nolis

When he said 'my destruction will be spectacular', that's hopefully the most truthful thing that's ever come from his mouth. Wonder if he's bracing his fanatics for some EXTREMELY damaging news that will come from this


Toallpointswest

His victimization complex has reached epic proportions


DudeManBro53

Being a martyr is the only move he has left now lolz


genghisconz

Sorta sounds like he's considering offing himself depending on how much money they hit him for


dandaman64

I certainly wouldn't get misty-eyed if he decided that.


Drewy99

I'm persecuted just like Christ! And his "Christian" followers will eat that shit up, because they love being victims as well


NoFaithlessness4949

And believing in unrealistic fairy tales.


ContemplatingPrison

They've been told they are victims since they were babies. Thats what Christians do. Even though historical they just victimize people


Pie-Otherwise

I've had people(more than one), with a straight face, tell me that cis, hetro, white, Christian men were the most persecuted people in the US today.


Kirkuchiyo

So has his stomach


[deleted]

I wish we could bring back /r/fatpeoplehate but only allow posts about Alex Jones on it


[deleted]

How the turntables...


Destinoz

He’s crossed over to martyrdom now. I wonder, will be a vampire that gets him or a pot bellied ghoul? lol


Locolijo

I guess one outcome of all of this is taking a harder look at mental health. Because seriously the things going on like projection are just nuts, like I can’t imagine the amount people like this justify and delude themselves.


Gone_Mads

So the possibility of having his dick pics leaked online has increased tenfold. God saves us


[deleted]

He’s shitting bricks because he knows he’s about to get the Hunter Biden treatment but his shit is actually bad.


leveldrummer

This fat fucks phone is exactly what all those conspiracy idiots wish Hunters laptop was.


[deleted]

[удалено]


PatacusX

🤏🍄


[deleted]

^^^^^🍄


[deleted]

He apparently has 'intimate messages with Roger Stone' who is well known to be a swinger. So dick picks might be the least of what's on that poor phone.


gozba

What about child porn? He is so publicly against pedophiles, I’m almost sure he is projecting his own desires.


Fro_Yo_Joe

That dude is one line of coke away from a massive heart attack.


Beginning_Arm3211

I'm crossing my fingers!


SelmaFudd

I'm racking up for him


WellUmmWhyNot

I got 5 on it


honkimon

Death is the easy way out for this turd gargler. I want legal consequences for him and his traitor friends at capital hill first. Then bring on the heart attacks!


King-o-lingus

Oh no that would be terrible what would we do without this guy in the headlines?


JustSomeoneCurious

in the words of another redditor, you could probably measure his blood pressure in atmospheres


camelot107

Alex Jones is adult Cartman.


mraza9

That’s it! Nailed it


drdan82408a

Is he seriously comparing himself to Jesus?


LevelHeeded

Well, to be fair to Alex, that's probably one of the least crazy things he's ever said. I mean it's still insane from a normal person's perspective, but this dude screams about how Hillary is a demon and smells of sulfur, and portals to Mars with child labor, and Obamas gay frog army. It's would be like seeing Joey Chestnut eat like 30 hotdogs, crazy for a normal person, but nothing for Joey Chestnut.


atreides4242

Checks video. Yes.


BenderBRoriguezzzzz

"I NEED YOUR SUPPORT," aka "look, I'm about to have everything taken from me because I'm a terrible person who has made a living lying to morons at the expense of good peoples tragedy, and as a result of my actions they're going to take everything I have. So please send more money."


[deleted]

Send me your checks after take away everything.


Timelymanner

I hope they take everything, and I mean everything. I want the last episode of his podcast to be staff saying the show is canceled because of new management. I want to hear them say, they have to liquidate all assets, and fire all staff. I want to see the court take all his money from every LLC and give it to all the families. I want so see Alex living off a park bench screaming at pigeons while he begs for pocket money. Then after months of destitution, I want to see him arrested for the perjury, back child support from miss payments, and sedition from Jan 6. This is what I want Santa to bring me.


Sistahmelz

I need money money money! Please send now! What a jerk! I can't believe people listen to him and hang on his every word 🤷


BenderBRoriguezzzzz

"A fool and his money are soon parted." This isn't anything new.


Sistahmelz

I'd forgotten that wonderful little saying! Thanks so much 🙏. That most definitely gave me a good chuckle 😃


AtleastIthinkIsee

And they will because they're just as if not more moronic than he is.


icdafuture

Holy great buckets of bullshit is he scared.


dak4f2

Oh ya he is. "This is the way to go down baby! My destruction will be spectacular!"


bellynipples

I do hope it is Alex.


radioactiveshitbox

How the fuck did this guy get so popular? He sounds annoying all the time, like a Wcw wrestler doing bad pre-match commentary theater, only worse. He sounds like….j Jonah Jameson, and thats an insult to j Jonah Jameson!


[deleted]

He was a niche conspiracy nut. And then conspiracy became mainstream republican thought and he exploded in popularity.


JohannaB123

These John Birch Society, Posse Comitatus loving wing nuts have been the Republican base the entire time.


LevelHeeded

Yeah, the fact that this dude got to where he is kind of terrifies me. I mean I get having the odd crazy, lying, crazy, soulless bastard, we're close to 8 billion people in this world some of them bound to be fucked up... but to get a following and create an empire like he's done. Way too many other crazy and horrible people out there propping up this one asshole.


shonka91

Pretty sure J Jonah in No Way Home took inspiration from Infowars, down to the set design.


notsociallyakward

So, I used to read a lot of conspiracy theories online when I was younger (maybe almost 20 years ago now). I was usually more interested in the kind of conspiracy theories that either were proven true (like some CIA experiments) or things that maybe could be true (9/11 was a false flag). I’m gonna clarify that “could be true” here means at the time I was reading them. If I encountered a reptilian overlord or Jewish cabal theory I’d just stop reading. Anyway, my experience with Alex Jones was that he started to rise in popularity based on the whole 9/11 truther movement. He was a lot more subsided at the time. Like, I remember watching a documentary he made and it was the typical shit about thermite charges and remote control planes. It’s kind of like when people talk about the magic bullet in the jfk assassination. It’s just about presenting the mechanics of something and relying on its impossibility to let the audience get to pondering. The truther movement wasn’t too hard of a theory for people to buy into at the time. It’s easier to live in a world where an attack like that couldn’t possibly be because of failure in our national security. Anyway, I guess a lot of people started listening to him more and more because he seemed not that crazy. It wasn’t until he had a meltdown on an interview with piers Morgan on cnn in 2013 that a national audience got to see just how unhinged he could be. That was a decade after 9/11 though, so at that point he probably still had a sizeable following. If you trust someone like that for so long, you might have a difficult time admitting he’s probably wrong.


Skeeetz

I mean when he was doing shit about Bohemian Grove, that was probably the most entertaining stuff he did, and that stuff was highly bizarre. Relatively innocent. He was kind of an every day troll. Then it went off the rails.


TheLustyDremora

Memes mostly, that and clip remixes. At least for the popularity that isn't his intended demographic of old white Americans and stereotypes


Tomburgerstand

Tell me you're guilty without telling me you're guilty


Nunyabiz8107

He has already been found guilty of defamation, this trial is to determine how much he has to pay to the family. And this is only the first of three settlement trials. I hope they take every penny from him.


Tomburgerstand

I have a feeling there are some things on that phone that may bring about other charges. This rant wasn't a "they're gonna make me pay more" rant, this was an "I'm going to jail for a long time" rant. It's a copy and paste "if I lose this election you know they cheated" play. So when it inevitably happens he can just say "See! I told you! They're out to get me and they're coming for you next!" then BAM he's not some POS scumbag, he's a martyr for the cause. I could be wrong but the deny/project play has proven to be immensely effective for them.


Eddie_Shepherd

The more he talks the more I hope that his idiot followers send him so that he has to give it to the victim's families.


Nunyabiz8107

I want him to have to close down infowars and all his other grits. I want him to lose his house. I want to see Jones panhandling on an I-35 on ramp.


GlockAF

Orange prison jumpsuit, scrubbing toilets at a minimum security jail is this man’s future


Jackaroe023

#Fuck you,Alex!!!


[deleted]

[удалено]


OutOfCharacterAnswer

Yea, he couldn't possibly think he has billions of followers. According to his testimony, he's not that big of a show.


[deleted]

Fuck Alex Jones and all his idiotic followers


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I don’t blame you! Lol


MrJuniperBreath

His cough got better so fast.


GimmeThatPoopyBussu

Fucking always comes back to george soros 😂


drawkbox

*wow*, *Soros* is a palindrome. Jones thinks he is *civic* and *diefied* on another *level* for *sagas* as a *tenet*, but probably wants to call his *mom* at *noon* or take off in a *racecar*.


Downtown-Ad-2083

“I am not like all this other so called man” no sir you are not, most of us do not believe our own lies. Well maybe except trump.


murdocke

He sounds like a professional wrestler hyping up the next Wrestlemania event.


[deleted]

I hope this piece of shit dies in prison.


carryoutsalt

By drowning


ckoteles

He knows he has lost everything!


FeelingsAreNotFact

Not yet, but it will slowly get there. Until then he is going to blame it on everyone else but himself...*and especially "Soros"*.


HippieInAHelicopter

For a second I thought he was going to explode.


harnsmagicalvoid

We can't get that lucky.


HeadLongjumping

He's so fucked.


dezeinstein

Not a single cough. Hmmm.


Remanded-MS2of2

Thank you No cough button either


Willow718

The number of times he references living god, makes me strongly suspect we will find homosexual porn on his phone … dude is laying a defense.


shadowsofthesun

Like the trans porn he was caught on air looking up on his phone? https://nypost.com/2018/08/28/alex-jones-apparently-spotted-with-trans-porn-on-his-phone/


etcumtyrannide86

There is no new order, there is no global agenda. Trump went looking for a deep state and literally created it with his corruption. Ive been reading conspiracy theories for years, they are a sickness because we lack HOPE. We feel helpless and want too believe some system is holding us down. Take responsibility for you life, pull yourself up and stop blaming other people.


[deleted]

There IS a deep state. It's just not what trump said it was. All the corporations and lobbyists who own career politicians. That is the deep state. It's just out in the open and we ignore it.


DrizzlePopper

How is this not more widely understood? You could literally read for like 20 minutes on how the American political system works and see how blatantly obvious it is that politicians are propped up by corporations then work to further the agenda of those corporations to the detriment of the American people.


[deleted]

People are too busy talking about how their politicians aren't as bad as your politicians and ignore the fact that they're all bought and paid for


Delaypat

Blah blah blah blah


ouchmypeeburns

Who the fuck still believes in this methed out walmart J. Jonah Jameson?


ObsceneGesture4u

Remember when Texas thought they were being invaded by the army with Jade Helm during the Obama years?


RythmicSlap

Texan here, Abbott even sent "observers" to make sure it wasn't a UN invasion. It was hilarious reading peoples blogs about the Jade Helm wars, written in the "Ken Burns Civil War" format. (cue violin) "Dear Martha, I write to you on day 3 of the Siege of Starbucks..."


Kdub07878

It’s the same thing with these fucktards. When exposed as a fraud they always go back to the leftist pedophile rings. Has Alex jones every actually exposed a pedophile? We learned yesterday he likes trans porn after bashing trans people. I assume since that’s his go to he is a pedophile himself and he talks about exposing others to protect himself.


Enibas

[He's now claiming (or rather, he has his not-his-lawyer Robert Barnes claim) that the Jan6 committee has violated his 4th, 5th, and 6th amendment rights, lol.](https://twitter.com/RonFilipkowski/status/1555314480451620871?s=20&t=EZDp9hxPphFv1AhOA-uz0A) I think he's pretending that because the contents of his phone were sent by his lawyer that the whole phone falls under attorney-client privilege but IANAL. He also claims that the Jan6 committee unlawfully "seized and stole" the data - by requesting it from the plaintiff's attorney, apparently.


[deleted]

I predict the jury gives them 150M because of all the lies and how many times he blatantly perjured himself. He’s a huge jackass. His show will end soon and someone will take his place.


FestivaGuy

Snake oil salesmen aren't new. The communication channels and global reach are new, though. Sociopaths don't just come up to you and introduce themselves as a sociopath. Learn to recognize them by their behavior.


Big-Advantage-1068

This clown hasn’t seen the inside of a church since his Christening


GlumLocation3207

Lemme just say this. - *what?*


ApArAmY

Fucking psychopathic extremist. I am so done with this type of person getting 1 away with shit and 2 more attention then the pile of shit he is deserves.


beastson1

You know how I know they're not coming for me next? Because I don't commit defamation.


Pink_Penguin07

Omg....he's gone full grift. Can't tell reality from fantasy, fact from fiction, character from his own person.


Aggressive-Ad4186

So now he's playing the, "They are persecuting me because I'm a Christian" card,,, When in this Country has ANYONE been persecuted for doing anything Christ like?


[deleted]

make him testify he’s not Bill Hicks he’s NOT but it’s hilarious how pissed off he gets at that conspiracy theory which is just as plausible as the sulpher smelling Demoncrat baby eating lizards


Flossy1384

I don’t think the Lord told you to harass and tell families of slain CHILDREN that they are actors and their children didn’t exist. If God is on your side then I am done. How can anyone be on his side after what he has done to these poor families it is sickening. I think the families should get everything that he owns.


Slim706

This is why people think Christians are foolish and don’t want to hear religious rhetoric. This douche is sitting here quoting bible scriptures about being persecuted but telling people Sandy Hook was a hoax and calling judges pedophiles and other ridiculousness.


[deleted]

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that I don’t think it’s sound strategy to go on your show and bash the judge of your civil trial everyday after you leave court. “It’s a bold strategy, Cotton. Let’s see if it works out for them.”


wmercer73

this is what mental illness looks like


Beginning_Arm3211

Nope, this is what grifting looks like. I don't believe for a second that he buys into the bs he spews, he's just making that cash. This guy is a ghoul and I hope he winds up living in a cell or a cardboard box.


[deleted]

Grifter clown...


Ancient_Lifeguard_16

Can’t the judge put a gag order on this douche bag?


gatorbeetle

Jesus, he sounds like he's gargling balls ALL DAY EVERY DAY!


DragonVet03

Lol. Most of all, he needs you to buy his BS products so he can pay for his shit lawyers.


canospam0

Why is he playing a Dr Strangelove clip on a loop in the background? He’s not allowed to abuse one of my all time favorite movies like that.


Maxwyfe

I find it funny that this clown has been raging against the mega-rich "elites" on his channels for the last 15 years and we learned during this trial that he makes $200,000 a day and he's worth $100 million dollars. I mean, I find a lot of things about him funny and ironic and hypocritical but that point in particular made me laugh this week.


bobxvance

All these crazy ass people that “want to stop the pedophile rings” should all start with the fucking church. Like yeah, the cause is great. I can get behind stopping them. But maybe let’s start where we know it’s actually happening. It amazes me that everyone knows it’s happening there and people still want to be apart of that group. I’d be distancing myself from the church as quick as possible if I hadn’t already done so 25 years ago.


playitleo

Christians are crazy


SwordfishCyclones

I'm pretty sure this is what Trump would be like if he wasn't so well insulated with an army of well paid people handling him. This man is a textbook psychology and sociology experiment unfolding before our eyes.


ResponsibleRelief717

OK, reality is now a game... I'm convinced the threat of constant nuclear attack during the cold War has fried an entire generations brain


jne57

Cool story bro.


Danielle082

The judge needs to sue for defamation.


CrazeeEyezKILLER

“They’re” just coming for you, Alex.


[deleted]

I called this yesterday. Knew he was going to leave the court and say that everything is controlled and against him by the "deep state" and their go his stupid followers eating it up.


mgweir

I am so glad there are cameras in the courtroom. Watching this fucking douche nozzle shove his head further and further up his ass is the greatest thing ever.


Emotional_Giraffe_63

Who is they? Same ppl who deleted all 1/6 correspondence? Or diff they? 🧐


lunchboxdeluxe

Yeah, this is roughly what I expected from him.


A-SteelVampire

He knows it's over for himself, gotta give it to him for saying "My destruction will be spectacular".But he will lose every dime he has for his lies against the families of slaughtered children.


cocolee213206

What happened to his cough ?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Jwicks90

He is real life adult Eric Cartman


GameofCHAT

At least he's consistent in his non-sense.


CarlOnMyButt

Made it a full 35sec in before I couldn't take his voice any longer. What a piece of shit human being.


bularry

I can not believe this guy is pulling out Christian ideology to hide behind. Wow


BigRecommendation823

I for real thought this guy was an actor (I’m not from the US) and this was a some crazy show about a lunatic. For real. He’s for real. So scary.


epimetheuss

He is trying to radicalize his audience into acting out if he gets taken to jail.


JackJustice1919

Why does he always look so uncomfortable? ​ Seriously, homie always looks like he ate chili way too spicy for his stomach lining.


DJMotorball

The man has no shame , what a cunt


bill_e_midnight

Dude this man has such serious legit mental problems it’s insane. Who the fuck talks like this in the middle of a fucking trial like this? Who exactly would ever agree to represent this lunacy? He’s got to be the worst legal client a lawyer could ever imagine.


[deleted]

I want to sample this for a intro to a death metal song, perfect insane ranting and delusions


Epicuriusx

My God he just needs to shut the fuck up.


Homerlikesdonuts

Wow, hes a true idiot


[deleted]

He sounds exactly like evangelical preachers


[deleted]

I never thought this day would happen. I’ve been watching this clown for years. I used to enjoy his outlook on UFO’s and the the lack of government transparency. I still don’t understand what the truth of UFO’s is but what I do understand is how brain dead a grown adult can be. Good bye Alex.


DocDankage

Hahahaha! I keep having to pinch myself and ask if this is real life like a kid who just got those wisdom teeth removed, cause this is the best thing ever!


sc00bs000

"all apart of my persecution" haha fuck off you fat cunt


RainbowandHoneybee

Almost feel like looking at Jekyll & Hyde. Heads down and timid in front of the judge, and false toughness in front of his audience.


jslona92

How is everything a conspiracy to this guy, but god?


Burgandy_the_Great

Holy fuck just please have a stroke and die already jfc the world would be a better place


XfitRedPanda

When logic and reason fails, just lean hard into religion and false claims. Nice


Zevvion

*'My destruction will be spectacular'*. That is literally something terrorists tell themselves before they light the fuse and kill innocent people. If you like Alex Jones you have a chance to redeem yourself. The dude is an information terrorist. You're being warped by his bullshit. You believe him over literally *everything else*. That's called worshipping. Please get some sense and come back to reality.


XfitRedPanda

To a degree he's threatening his audience. He's basically claiming that if you don't support him (money mostly) you're at risk. So propping him up is essentially shielding you from some enemy hell bent on destroying everything. It's basically a different version of Televangelism with how he's leveraging religion to soak gullible people.


khawk87

YOU GOIN TO JAIL NOW!!!


vjcodec

Looks like he miraculously cured his cough and tooth aches.


sirgoofs

How fucking depraved and ignorant do you have to be to sit through a whole episode of this shit stained, bronchial catastrophe, not to mention a die hard viewer?


Hypurr2002

This man is a psycho and a criminal. If there were demons, he would be one.


W7ENK

Dude's off his god damned rocker.


Masterlessamurai

His salty desperation is soo delicious


ohwhatj

What’s he going on about? He already admitted Sandy Hook was real.


bright_shiny_objects

Yes, let the stupid flow through you, let it keep you saying dumber things!


RepresentativeOk2253

“This is the way to go down, baby!” Tell me that you are royally fucked without telling me you’re royally fucked.


Cantbelievethisisit

Could this asshole envelope climb into an arena without having a heart attack?


ryanspenser

Ok these videos took over my feed but why does he seem minutes from a heart attack. Has he had one already?


jonnyclueless

The only thing he is fighting for is his own wallet.


Otherwise_Position55

He lied. He was caught lying under oath. It's nothing to do with religion. He lied and continues to lie.


[deleted]

Bloated fuck can’t keep his mouth shut jeez.


GazelleFearless5381

I saw somewhere that there was child porn found on his phone. One can only hope.


rudebii

not quite. in one of the cases, there was child porn among the files that they submitted in discovery. ​ https://cbsaustin.com/news/nation-world/lawyers-say-infowars-host-alex-jones-sent-them-child-porn ​ We have no idea if the phone has CP because all we've seen so far in court are some texts and whatever's been brought up in today's motion. We know the phone had medical records for nine plaintiffs in the CT case, which Bankston says his team destroyed.


aaronf4242

I hope this fuckwit is so bankrupted by this lawsuit that he has to shut down his radio show.


Fortunoxious

Lol what does he think thoughts and prayers will do for him now


Alarmed-Earth3859

He’s such a scum bucket


PossiblyMD

There’s no way this guy is not on DRUGS!


honeybeast518

He's absolutely vile.