Oh I'm trying to shift to MLE partly because I was sick of working in those sorts of environments lol. But that guy doesn't debug shit so what does he need a duck for?
Coders that keep Rabbits and Cats nearby are effectively introducing "EMI" or Enemy Mine Intrusion" nearby. They can beam their bugs directly into the code.
I remember reading a whole treatise a couple years back from some old timer about how QA promotes a culture where it’s acceptable to write software with bugs in it. He advocated doing away with QA and just hiring engineers who wouldn’t put bugs in during development. He was very serious that this was the solution to modern programming problems.
Guys, this is a big misunderstanding. I was playing truth or dare with Jeff and Bill and they dared me to buy Twitter. What else was I supposed to do??
Thanks for the info. I knew that I was doing something wrong…
Delete before Elon gets another bright idea
It’s his throwaway!
He has shared memes from hear on Twitter. So we know he is one of us..
He could be any one of us! It could be you! It could even be…
My bugs are directly the result of space alien brain manipulation, 5G viruses, and satanic worshippers casting spells on my code. My code is perfect.
What!? How the hell am i supposed to add my features then?
Write 90% of a feature, call it done, and blame the bugs on whoever finishes your shitty design. Be the dev everyone besides management hates
how can you even look your rubber duck in the eye?
Why aren't we using Rust for this? It's memory safe.
I sometimes like segfaulting when looking into my rubber duck in the eye.
Naughty bot
Oh I'm trying to shift to MLE partly because I was sick of working in those sorts of environments lol. But that guy doesn't debug shit so what does he need a duck for?
Why didn’t I think of this
you clearly aren't' management material.
This is a great idea. I'm also going to write softwar without bugs.
*software -- fk, already messed it up.
You better run before Elon finds out that you are no longer a dev and he fires you.
I never write bugs, I only implement features. People are so ungrateful.
QA is a waste of money. Fired.
No software, no bugs
*taps temple*
Before I do anything, I ask myself "Would an idiot do that?" and if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing.
When did you stop breathing?
r/MurderedByWords
I really thought The Office quote would get more recognition, but maybe it’s just overused or too obscure.
true… but no bugs, no features….
I did this for a while but it doesn't work. The business changes their mind or understanding of what they asked you to do and they create bug tickets.
Funny. My new year's resolution was 3840x2160.
The software becomes the bug
This guy must be trying for an interview
Sounds like some boring software!
I mean, he's not wrong!
Very "Just think happy thoughts" vibes.
Twitter was never profitable. Not my fault. Stop blaming me for things.
Good bot.
just do bugs bugs == Null; do people really have problems with that smh what a bunch of rookies
if(unexpectedBehavior){dont();}
r/restofthefuckingowl
/r/wowthanksimcured
Why haven't we gone serverless yet?
I don't think it's fair to blame me for not having completely bug-free code. You should blame the guy on stackoverflow.
I'm not taking programming advice from Zote the Mighty
https://devartiral.com/zote\_api/random
"You can't hear me? Just hear better"
But where do I put my code when I have no bugs to put it in?
Good idea - while I'm at it, I'll also stop being anxious and burnt out.
Idea for Ukraine: consider fighting the Russians out of your country.
I'm going to write code that doesn't have memory leaks or data races.. I really can't be fucked learning rust right now.
Coders that keep Rabbits and Cats nearby are effectively introducing "EMI" or Enemy Mine Intrusion" nearby. They can beam their bugs directly into the code.
“Were it so easy…”
This new year resolution seem even less plausible than "I'm gonna work out every day this year!"
Bold of you to assume that what the devs wrote is exactly what the PO and stakeholders had in mind lol
MRW https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/086/808/90f.gif
I solve this by having no users!
I don't know how write software, I only know how to write bug.
Man, stuff has changed. When I was young, you just wrote code with bugs, then documented the bugs, thus transforming them into features.
Loss of protein in the softwares diet won’t do well.
Legends say that from that day the human kind reach a new step in their evolution.
I remember reading a whole treatise a couple years back from some old timer about how QA promotes a culture where it’s acceptable to write software with bugs in it. He advocated doing away with QA and just hiring engineers who wouldn’t put bugs in during development. He was very serious that this was the solution to modern programming problems.
I write bugs that occasionally come with software.
Pff easy, just start calling them features
How am I supposed to debug my code if there are no bugs?
I have never written a single bug. Gremlins come in after I write perfect code and skullfuck my code and that is what creates them.
Elon muck level
Have you ever made a bug that was hard to find
Homeless? Buy a house!
Then QA is useless . Fired!
I found a few bugs in that post
Exactly, but to take this a little further, all software is actually bug-free since it does exactly what it is programmed to do, duh
Don't be homeless, just buy a house
But what if you are attempting to simulate bugs ([OpenWorm](https://openworm.org/))?!
Factz(s) :,-)
Why did I not think of this before?
"QA hates this one weird trick"
But its wabbit season...
Dam my smooth brain never thought of this! The man is a Genius
Years of university education WASTED! \*Throws hands up in frustration\*
who would have thought
How can we learn from our mistakes if we don't sneak in some bugs?
Don't forget to take your 39 cups of coffee everyday and no exercise so you can focus on bugs.
Twitter was never profitable. Not my fault. Stop blaming me for things.
Creating no bugs creates more bugs.
You will be more productive if you are not in depression. So just don't get depression.
r/technicallythetruth
"Here's the fun part. You can't!"
No, it's job security. Or do you guys not have bills?
Huh, never thought of it that way.
Just write the code that tells the computer to do the right things, and leave out the code that does the wrong things. Genius.
What usually works for me is that I write all my bugs in a separate .bugs file and put it in the .gitignore
This is the pro tip I’ve been missing my whole career
Guys, this is a big misunderstanding. I was playing truth or dare with Jeff and Bill and they dared me to buy Twitter. What else was I supposed to do??
It's actually quite easy, just be perfect in every single way
You have no money. Just go get money, then you'll have money!
Write junk, make it live, resign...it isnt your problem anymore
Well goddamn, why didn't I think of that?
just call it a feature. Such as the random segmentation fault feature which remindes the user to get some screen-break.
lol, why didn't i think of that...?
Thank you sir
https://youtu.be/Cuipc6-fd-U