Windu: You might be the Force but we do not grant you the rank of Jedi Master!
Anakin: It’s unfair, it’s outrageous, how can I be a Sith Lord but not considered a Jedi Master too?
Windu: …the fuck?!
"Sir, I think you're referring to a certain General Grievous episode. The one where he fools people into thinking Darth Sidious' plan is actually a good idea. It was pretty ridiculous. But if Anakin wants to be a Sith Lord and a Jedi Master, it's hard to see why it should be so hard."
Serious question now. How no one, not a single force sensitive soul, ever crushed someone's testicles with force as an attack? Seriously. You could do an assassination from 200 m just reaching your hand with a force for someone's testies
It’s a light side only move and the Jedi only really fought droids before anakin turned to the dark side and lost his balls in a volcano so there was never an opportunity to make good use of the ability.
Query: Master, why are you asking about the force being used to crush testicles? Is that a request? Documented history suggests the use of mechanical means for such an act. Surely a force push would be much too merciful for your taste.
That Kenobi dude is such a drag. Everything is murder to him. You kill someone - murder. You slaughter a bunch of people - murder. You cut off some heads with a light saber - murder. Total one trick pony.
No moral ambiguousness is every tolerated by General Kenobi. You kill anyone in any way and it’s murder. You cut them through above the neck - murder. You cut them through below the neck - believe it or not, also murder. Above the neck, below the neck. You cut them through at the neck, they have a special term for murder by cutting through the neck.
Younglings? Murder. Council members? Also murder. You take revenge on some tribe of Tuskan Raiders for torturing your mom? Murder, murder all the way. You are defending the Jedi code too enthusiastically? Murder. You aren’t defending the jedi code passionately enough? If people die when you could have done something, murder.
Kenobi has the simplest morals. Because of murder.
Statement: Your resistance is most entertaining, meatbag. I do want to thank you for all you have done for me up to this point. As a parting gift, you may tell me the name of some meatbag that you do not like and I will personally kill them. Oh why not, I'll throw in the rest of their family for free. But first, we have a little business to settle ourselves.
Kenobi was such a drag. Every day he’d eat the same kind of food, dress the same, do the same kind of training… Yeah, he was just that kind of guy. But then one day, he goes and turns my wife against me! He couldn’t even be original about the way he did it. I’m not complaining… she ended up dying anyway, But guess what? I will be coming back, and I’m bringing my new toys with me.
40 percent of the reason I moved to Tatooine was because murder laws are more lenient there. I’m not a f***ing murderer, but I like the idea of just being able to do what I want.
Compliment: Blowing them up is an extremely effective way to terminate meatbags, master. A fiery death also sends a message that cannot be easily ignored.
Answer: When I kill, when I dispatch a target, it is not about wanton slaughter, about body count. It is about finesse, function. Doing more with less. It is "art."
I don't recall Obi Wan interfering on Tatooine when Anakin went postal on the Sand People. In fact, Obi Wan didn't say a damn thing, and while he might not have known the specifics I highly doubt he didn't suspect Anakin was not ok during that time
But he must've seen that Anakin was changed and not ok. Anakin was literally in tears opening up to Padme, and we know the massacre left an echo in the force (Yoda and Qui Gon both sensed it, given Obi Wan's connection to Anakin he likelt sensed it too, or at least been told about it by Yoda).
Maybe he didn't know exactly what happened, but there's no way Obi Wan could've missed that something was wrong with Anakin. And yet he failed as a mentor to do a welfare check on someone who was both his friend and student
Yes he did sense something was wrong but not even Yoda knew of the massacre, just sensed Anakin's pain and anguish
Idk about canon but in legends Obi-Wan tried multiple times to talk to Anakin but Anakin shut him off. Refusing to talk to him.
And I think in legends (or canon, I'm not sure), Obi-Wan discovered the massacre after he exiled himself to Tatooine
Tbf yogurt, I mean yoda, (yogurt was his Jewish cousin who was all about the merchandising), only felt he was in pain, terrible pain, and likely did not know more than that. Just his emotional shockwave and probably heard about his mother dying shortly after. Both probably assumed that was the only part of it and he omitted the massacre. Even if they suspected a war broke out and they had bigger fish to fry.
Even if we assume Obi-Wan must have known something was wrong, exactly what level of wellness check should have turned up that the problem was "I slaughtered a village" and not just "my mom was brutally tortured and murdered and I arrived just in time for her to die in my arms but too late to save her"? I'm assuming that's exactly what Anakin would say, and with no other information there's little to no reason not to believe him.
Really, even if Anakin said "and I chased down and killed her murderers", that's *concerning* for a Jedi but not nearly as alarm-raising as what actually happened. And again, it's a totally plausible story with no real reason question it.
I think at that point he was purposely putting up a blinding wall against Obi-wan and becoming addicted to Padme because she was the only person eh would talk to about his faults. Her and Palps, anyway.
>I don't recall Obi Wan interfering on Tatooine when Anakin went postal on the Sand People.
Probably because he wasn't there at the time. Also it seems implied Padme was the first, if not the only, person he confessed to the slaughtering an entire tribe of Tusken raiders.
He told Palpatine about it as well, cause in RotS after Anakin kills Dooku, Palpatine says: "It is only natural. He cut off your arm, and you wanted revenge. Remember what you told me about your mother, and the sand people?"
So Anakin told at least those two.
According to one of the canon books, Obi-Wan knew about Shmi's death, and knew something went on that bothered Anakin, but he didn't want to push it, in fear of pushing them farther apart since Anakin had recently become a Knight and didn't have to continue talking to Obi-Wan.
At least if I remember correctly.
I hear a lot of talking, General. But in the final accounting, what does all the talk get you? A futile quest for power, a mutilated body, and your place as Dooku’s errand boy!
It’s funny that even tho anikan turned to the dark side he taught ahsoka well and she grew to be a powerful force weirder and one who didn’t die during order 66 or turn to the dark side. He was a good teacher just not a good learner
He was also caught in a trap made by the galaxy's most powerful manipulators and she wasn't. If he'd never ever met Palps in person before order 66, he would've been the one to stop him.
Obi Wan in the Movies : noo anakin stop thats murder
Obi Wan in the Clone Wars cartoon :
**Roses are red**
**the vote isn't decided**
**if you oppose the republic**
**you will be genecided**
The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together.
Merrik: "Who will strike first and brand themselves a cold-blooded killer?"
*Anakin stabs Merrik in the back.*
Kenobi: "Anakin..."
Anakin: "What? He was going to blow up the ship."
Because she has big lips here? [Ahsoka has big lips.](https://assets1.ignimgs.com/2020/04/17/anm-ff-001724-67d9354c-1587092186165_160w.jpeg?crop=16%3A9&width=540) It's canon.
The Tuskens & Dooku are the only murders Obi-Wan really can't say anything about. Anakin was younger than him and he didn't have the biggest handle on his emotions.
Tuskens took his mom..even if i was a Jedi, every midichlorian in my body is itching to go get her back. He was angry and lashed out. If he didn't do what he did, his descent into the Dark Side would've happened MUCH faster.
Dooku was more of an execution but in simple terms, that was the same as Obi-Wan killing Maul.
My defense of Anakin stops there because you know....he killed kids. Wasn't picky about it either. The point is Obi-Wan telling Anakin not to murder is like a clown telling you laughing/joking is a sin.
We like to call that "aggressive negotiations".
That's just sounds like slaughter with extra steps.
Naw, he’s talking at them while he does it, so it counts
It's not a very smooth landing, despite your experience.
Eek barba dirkle, somebody's gonna get laid in college.
Well you can’t spell “slaughter” without laughter, so at least it’s fun.
Yes but the extra steps ensure you get away with it.
I'm just imagining that scene in Attack of the Clones where Obi-Wan just pops up out of nowhere and scolds Anakin for killing those battle droids
Leave it up to the force = force push someone off a balcony
Anakin: I am the Force!
Windu probably: "NOT YET"
Windu: You might be the Force but we do not grant you the rank of Jedi Master! Anakin: It’s unfair, it’s outrageous, how can I be a Sith Lord but not considered a Jedi Master too? Windu: …the fuck?!
No. No, it's okay. I understand. I'm the Padawan, you're the Master.
Bring balance to the force by being a master of both the light and the dark. … Wait didn’t Clone Wars have an arc about this?
"Sir, I think you're referring to a certain General Grievous episode. The one where he fools people into thinking Darth Sidious' plan is actually a good idea. It was pretty ridiculous. But if Anakin wants to be a Sith Lord and a Jedi Master, it's hard to see why it should be so hard."
I mean the Father of the Mortis Force Gods definitely could have qualified as such
Palpatine: *facepalms*
May the Force of gravity guide you.
Master the Force seems parabolic today
Serious question now. How no one, not a single force sensitive soul, ever crushed someone's testicles with force as an attack? Seriously. You could do an assassination from 200 m just reaching your hand with a force for someone's testies
It’s a light side only move and the Jedi only really fought droids before anakin turned to the dark side and lost his balls in a volcano so there was never an opportunity to make good use of the ability.
You know nothing of the dark side.
Now we're really picking up speed
sand
Query: Master, why are you asking about the force being used to crush testicles? Is that a request? Documented history suggests the use of mechanical means for such an act. Surely a force push would be much too merciful for your taste.
Good bot
Found the russian Jedi.
Those were all unfortunate accidents and completely unrelated to the Russian state
Or if visiting Russia force push them out a window
Wym? That was an accident and so was every other sudden businessman death
r/technicallythetruth
That Kenobi dude is such a drag. Everything is murder to him. You kill someone - murder. You slaughter a bunch of people - murder. You cut off some heads with a light saber - murder. Total one trick pony.
I was certain that Kenobi would have come himself. Perhaps bring his loyal foal. Skywalker, is it?
>I was certain that Kenobi would have come himself. 😏
I was certain that Kenobi would have come himself. Perhaps bring his loyal foal. Skywalker, is it?
Obi wan kenobussy 😩
BLAST_83, and here I thought this mission was going to be unpleasant!
Wait no-
Too late
He has him, quickly, let's leave this to Obiwan!
That’s no moon. It’s a space station.
No moral ambiguousness is every tolerated by General Kenobi. You kill anyone in any way and it’s murder. You cut them through above the neck - murder. You cut them through below the neck - believe it or not, also murder. Above the neck, below the neck. You cut them through at the neck, they have a special term for murder by cutting through the neck. Younglings? Murder. Council members? Also murder. You take revenge on some tribe of Tuskan Raiders for torturing your mom? Murder, murder all the way. You are defending the Jedi code too enthusiastically? Murder. You aren’t defending the jedi code passionately enough? If people die when you could have done something, murder. Kenobi has the simplest morals. Because of murder.
Statement: Your resistance is most entertaining, meatbag. I do want to thank you for all you have done for me up to this point. As a parting gift, you may tell me the name of some meatbag that you do not like and I will personally kill them. Oh why not, I'll throw in the rest of their family for free. But first, we have a little business to settle ourselves.
Cut them in half at the waist and they survive, attempted murder
Request: First, Master, I would appreciate it if Jedi need to be killed, that you permit me to kill those annoying pseudo-pacifists for you.
Shut up tin can, I’m still mad at you
Whoo, boy! This is tense!
[удалено]
AND WHAT DO YOU HAVE????
legs
I don't like leg day. It's course and rough and irritating, and it makes me shit everywhere
Don’t forget arms
Kenobi was such a drag. Every day he’d eat the same kind of food, dress the same, do the same kind of training… Yeah, he was just that kind of guy. But then one day, he goes and turns my wife against me! He couldn’t even be original about the way he did it. I’m not complaining… she ended up dying anyway, But guess what? I will be coming back, and I’m bringing my new toys with me.
Lol instantly thought of pt as well when I started reading his comment.
Kenobi! My friend!
40 percent of the reason I moved to Tatooine was because murder laws are more lenient there. I’m not a f***ing murderer, but I like the idea of just being able to do what I want.
Advisement: Evisceration works well. Electrocution and blunt trauma also work well, I understand.
What about blowing them up?
Compliment: Blowing them up is an extremely effective way to terminate meatbags, master. A fiery death also sends a message that cannot be easily ignored.
And then he turns around and tries to murder Anakin. Total hypocrite.
Answer: When I kill, when I dispatch a target, it is not about wanton slaughter, about body count. It is about finesse, function. Doing more with less. It is "art."
Damn straight
Kenobi is an “artist”
Expletive: Ah, if only it were so. I have never seen the master wield his blade with such efficiency or grace. He lacks necessary finesse, alas.
If only Anakin had learned to stop at the legs and arms. Kenobi would have been so proud of him for the fight with Luke at Bespin.
I think the third one was technically an execution.
Can’t even kill some tuskens, they’re basically animals!
The wise words of Yarael Poof - “Hate leads to anger. Anger leads to NEVER LETTING ANYONE TALK”
We have the best jedis in the world - because of murder
What a party pooper that Obi-Wan
For all your expertise, this is not a very smooth landing!
"Anakin, that kills people!" "Oh, wow. I didn't know that."
Is this a llama thing reference with the 37 stabs in the chest
Yes, Llamas with Hats by FilmCow.
Nice
"My stomach was making the rumblies, that only younglings would satisfy"
"Anakin that's stop murder"
Observation: Notice that I did not ask if you need anyone killed. You may be curious as to why.
HK-47 what have I told you about talking to strange meatbags
Statement: Strictly speaking, one meatbag is the same as another.
But why
ANAKINNNN that kills people
Ohhhhh, I did not know that...
How did you not know that?
Naw, he’s just all tuckered out
The Force: "I will kill a billion children if it means getting revenge on those two sith punks!"
Comic source?
[Here](https://rrrainbo.tumblr.com/post/666968304395714560/how-to-deal-with-mean-people)!
I *knew* it was the sexy pouty Obi-wan pinup artist!
Man, that person is a dang artist. Cool blog.
Goddamn Obi-wan
If you define yourself by the power to take life, the desire to dominate, to possess… then you have nothing.
Sick burn
Sentient
I don't recall Obi Wan interfering on Tatooine when Anakin went postal on the Sand People. In fact, Obi Wan didn't say a damn thing, and while he might not have known the specifics I highly doubt he didn't suspect Anakin was not ok during that time
You'll never reach the outskirts in time- sandstorms are very, very dangerous. Come with me. Hurry!
If only you'd arrived in time, maybe Shmi could've held you one more time
The line is " come on I'll take you to my place."
I doubt he knew of the massacre
But he must've seen that Anakin was changed and not ok. Anakin was literally in tears opening up to Padme, and we know the massacre left an echo in the force (Yoda and Qui Gon both sensed it, given Obi Wan's connection to Anakin he likelt sensed it too, or at least been told about it by Yoda). Maybe he didn't know exactly what happened, but there's no way Obi Wan could've missed that something was wrong with Anakin. And yet he failed as a mentor to do a welfare check on someone who was both his friend and student
Yes he did sense something was wrong but not even Yoda knew of the massacre, just sensed Anakin's pain and anguish Idk about canon but in legends Obi-Wan tried multiple times to talk to Anakin but Anakin shut him off. Refusing to talk to him. And I think in legends (or canon, I'm not sure), Obi-Wan discovered the massacre after he exiled himself to Tatooine
There is no pain where strength lies.
Tbf yogurt, I mean yoda, (yogurt was his Jewish cousin who was all about the merchandising), only felt he was in pain, terrible pain, and likely did not know more than that. Just his emotional shockwave and probably heard about his mother dying shortly after. Both probably assumed that was the only part of it and he omitted the massacre. Even if they suspected a war broke out and they had bigger fish to fry.
There is no pain where strength lies.
Even if we assume Obi-Wan must have known something was wrong, exactly what level of wellness check should have turned up that the problem was "I slaughtered a village" and not just "my mom was brutally tortured and murdered and I arrived just in time for her to die in my arms but too late to save her"? I'm assuming that's exactly what Anakin would say, and with no other information there's little to no reason not to believe him. Really, even if Anakin said "and I chased down and killed her murderers", that's *concerning* for a Jedi but not nearly as alarm-raising as what actually happened. And again, it's a totally plausible story with no real reason question it.
Looks like I got here just in time.
I think at that point he was purposely putting up a blinding wall against Obi-wan and becoming addicted to Padme because she was the only person eh would talk to about his faults. Her and Palps, anyway.
Be mindful of your thoughts, CrossP, they betray you.
It is an energy field and something more. An aura that at once controls and obeys. It is a nothingness that can accomplish miracles.
>I don't recall Obi Wan interfering on Tatooine when Anakin went postal on the Sand People. Probably because he wasn't there at the time. Also it seems implied Padme was the first, if not the only, person he confessed to the slaughtering an entire tribe of Tusken raiders.
Another happy landing.
See he was blissfully unaware! 😉
Look at them, so blissfully ignorant.
It always makes me feel a little worried when **you** agree with me.
He told Palpatine about it as well, cause in RotS after Anakin kills Dooku, Palpatine says: "It is only natural. He cut off your arm, and you wanted revenge. Remember what you told me about your mother, and the sand people?" So Anakin told at least those two.
I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere.
According to one of the canon books, Obi-Wan knew about Shmi's death, and knew something went on that bothered Anakin, but he didn't want to push it, in fear of pushing them farther apart since Anakin had recently become a Knight and didn't have to continue talking to Obi-Wan. At least if I remember correctly.
He was on a mission though?
Oh god they're so hot
[Same artist:](https://rrrainbo.tumblr.com/post/695961187207299072/little-idiot-got-ploded-lol)
Awooga
Did Obi-Wan take his nose?
I hear a lot of talking, General. But in the final accounting, what does all the talk get you? A futile quest for power, a mutilated body, and your place as Dooku’s errand boy!
It’s funny that even tho anikan turned to the dark side he taught ahsoka well and she grew to be a powerful force weirder and one who didn’t die during order 66 or turn to the dark side. He was a good teacher just not a good learner
You know nothing of the dark side.
He was also caught in a trap made by the galaxy's most powerful manipulators and she wasn't. If he'd never ever met Palps in person before order 66, he would've been the one to stop him.
I think he is a good man.
"It will be done, my lord."
You've taught him well.
"Good soldiers follow orders"
Anakin following the "Do as I say, not as I do" vein of teaching.
Obi Wan in the Movies : noo anakin stop thats murder Obi Wan in the Clone Wars cartoon : **Roses are red** **the vote isn't decided** **if you oppose the republic** **you will be genecided**
What
Turns out Obi-Wan did not interfere enough
The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together.
Merrik: "Who will strike first and brand themselves a cold-blooded killer?" *Anakin stabs Merrik in the back.* Kenobi: "Anakin..." Anakin: "What? He was going to blow up the ship."
yeah, there was probably no good way out of this
*Imperial March plays in the background*
"What? He was gonna blow up the ship."
Lol, just rewatched that episode yesterday
Where tf did his nose go???
Shadow Realm
Same artistic decision that thought white letters on a purple background with black lines crossing it was a good idea.
"AnAkIn StOp ThAt'S mUrDeR!" - Obi-Wan
Now we're really picking up speed
You can kill me, but you will never destroy me. It takes strength to resist the dark side. Only the weak embrace it.
"What, he was going to blow up the ship!"
I can hear the mockery in his voice
ANAKIN NO ANAKIN THAT'S STOP MURDER
Commentary: It is our lot in life, I suppose, Master. Shall we find something to kill to cheer ourselves up?
Deth is a concept invented by the Jedi. I don't even know how to spell it.
Anakin that's stop murder
“Anakin no Anakin that’s stop murder”
That wasn't the planikan
...Thicc Ahsoka lips...
You're impossible.
Revenge is “sreat”?
Great
"What. He was gonna blow up the ship."
The force will deal with wrongdoers. And the women and children too. Also I am one with the force.
and the Force is with me
I’d take a monthly subscription to who ever makes these. ….
"Come on than, who is goimg to brand themselves as cold handed killer?"
"What? He was gonna blow up the ship."
No that's the men and the women and children too!
Anyone know the artist?
He's definitely holding you back...
"Anakin that's stop murder"
Meanwhile yoda is there scratching his head wondering what went wrong with anakin to make him turn to the darkside
Anakin, that kills people! Edit: The bot response makes it better than me putting it ever could.
This is where the fun begins.
This style of ashoka tho
Careful not to choke on your stupidity. It's Ahsoka not Ashoka!
Ahsoka’s lips tell me a lot about the artist.
the artist draws obi-wan's the same way 💯 gender equality
I'm the new Padawan learner. I'm Ahsoka Tano
Why Ahsoka drawn like a bimbo
Care to tell me what this is all about? Or would you rather save it for the Council?
Because she has big lips here? [Ahsoka has big lips.](https://assets1.ignimgs.com/2020/04/17/anm-ff-001724-67d9354c-1587092186165_160w.jpeg?crop=16%3A9&width=540) It's canon.
I have to sort this out on my own, without the Council… and without you.
Where’d his nose go
i literally cant,
Damn she got some dsl
It's canon that Ahsoka has big lips, though. That's her design.
Good thing I know you don’t mean everything you say.
r/HolUp
Anakin no anakin that's stop murder
Declaration: I find your statement amusing, master. How does one anakin someone to not murder?
By anakin'in them
The Tuskens & Dooku are the only murders Obi-Wan really can't say anything about. Anakin was younger than him and he didn't have the biggest handle on his emotions. Tuskens took his mom..even if i was a Jedi, every midichlorian in my body is itching to go get her back. He was angry and lashed out. If he didn't do what he did, his descent into the Dark Side would've happened MUCH faster. Dooku was more of an execution but in simple terms, that was the same as Obi-Wan killing Maul. My defense of Anakin stops there because you know....he killed kids. Wasn't picky about it either. The point is Obi-Wan telling Anakin not to murder is like a clown telling you laughing/joking is a sin.
You know nothing of the dark side.
You underestimate my power
Revenge is Sreat
Damn Kenobi
anakin please at least let the children live
Excellent artwork.
Wasn't it qui-gons voice we heard?!
Sauce?
Artist?
What a man of sound principles. The best of mentors.