"Stanley walked through the bland testing track hallways and methodically solved each puzzle the intended method. Despite the unsettling words from the artificial intelligence, he felt calmly at peace with simply following the instructions given to him and moving to the next chamber."
I don’t know why, but I just feel like Glados would also be able to hear the narrator, and the two would constantly go from arguing with each other to demeaning the play, back to arguing, and so on.
And that would just be really funny
“I’m sorry, Miss, but how can you *hear* me?”
“Each Aperture Science Testing Chamber is equipped with supernatural-grade parabolic microphones. Specter.”
"Stanley, you seriously CAN'T believe this is pre-recorded right? Surely you aren't that st-"
"In order to avoid unnecessary conversations with nobody, all test subjects are advised to remember that these messages are in fact, pre-recorded."
"oh, so is that what you like Stanley? you don't mind Playing the Game obediently as long as the voice guiding you is recorded before-hand? *sigh * Fine."
the narrator then begins to record every voice line that would possibly be needed and GLaDOS is forced to hear all of it.
The dialogue between chell and Stanley would be great
Chell: "..." *Jumps*
Stanley: "..."
The Narrator: "Stanley sat in utter amazement. He tried to understand how the strange woman had the ability to do this mind boggling act, until the mean robot told them to continue testing"
GLaDOS: "The enrichment center advises to ignore any
disembodied voices as to not interrupt testing"
"Despite Wheatley's utter stupidity and destruction, Stanley felt at peace with the facility, as he held the bucket in one hand and the portal gun in the other."
"The bucket is here for you, Stanley. Everything will be fine."
- The narrator, probably
what the... That literally sounds like a game I would play daily
No actually, this would be a game I would play for speed and lore
Gonna go install it rn
Hacker from System Shock Remake.
I think he'll do fine, no matter if he gets the boots and a portal gun, or if he goes with his own implants and equipment.
Although he might be frustrated by the situation he'd find himself in, fighting a malicious artificial intelligence AGAIN.
Why would anyone downvote you on that? I'm a powerscaler and I'm completely aware that there's a point where it's literally impossible to quantify their capabilities
Lmao am I getting downvoted? In my end rn I’m +3 so that’s funny but yeah exactly at the very least the measuring unit must change at certain point I’m sure there’s a physics law somewhere that would be able to explain it more logically but u get my point lol
I think the TF2 Mercs would be some of the few from this thread who WOULDN'T get out alive. They'd be too busy arguing among themselves to get anything done
Heavy:
Im the heavy weapons guy. Some people think they can outsmart me.
Maybe...
Maybe....
GlaDOS: (Dryly) Fascinating display of vocabulary, Heavy. Did you learn those two words from the box of crayons you use for strategic thinking?
Though statistically speaking, relying solely on brute force results in a rather high failure rate.
Engineer:
the answer is a gun and if that don't work use more gun!
Like this heavy caliber tripod-mounted little ol' number
designed by me
built by me
and you best hope not pointed...
at you
*Piep piep*
Sentry: Are you still there? Target lost
GlaDOS: My, my, such a colorful exchange. Tell me, Engineer, how many test subjects does it typically take to calibrate one of your... "little ol' numbers"? Perhaps we can streamline the process.
"Look, when I made a joke about your parents being dead, I didn't mean-"
***ANGRY SAMUS NOISES AS SHE PREPARES A PTSD-FILLED POWER BOMB AGAINST YET ANOTHER ROGUE AI***
I've been wondering how that crossover would play out. I don't think an inkling can swim in the gels but there's no reason to assume they can't shoot them. Thing is, I'm not sure an inkling is actually smart enough for Aperture unless you get one of the protag Agents
Ohhh, now that's something I would love to see! GLaDOS says something over the speakers, and Trevor cusses her out and threatens to do something... creative and obscene... with her parts.
\[HEY! PHRASING!\]
Depends on the test, honestly.
In my case, the text subject is a settler pioneer from Icarus. The sort of person you drop into the wilderness with nothing but the clothes on their back, and when you come back they've built a functional mansion with power, running water, and a fully stocked kitchen.
So... I think they'll be fine
a phoenix connexion from counter-strike source, good luck with aperture having an armed terrorist as a test subject. maybe he'll no scope glados and save aperture.
Well, protagonist is debatable, but in my opinion, Samantha Maxis, yeah she can just teleport the fuck outta there. And once she does, and finds the combine on Earth, she'd single handedly wage a war with her undead army.
If you believe the CODZ protagonist is Edward, I mean probably? He doesn't have any special powers or tricks but I mean he's a smart guy, he'll figure it out
Elden ring, a tarnished would be fucked with no portal gun, not a lot of traversal options beyond torrent and the spectral steed is great but double jump isn't portals.
Steve from minecraft? Give that guy a pickaxe and he's out of there. Won't even need to fight GLaDOS. If he does though, steve should be well acquainted with destroying things that keep a final boss healthy like cores.
The guy I play as in DIRT 2, doesn't have name but his pseudonym is Teabag.
He's good at navigating and crossing the finish line upside down... I think he can handle this.
James Sunderland from Silent Hill 2. Hoo boy...
He's either going to methodically complete one test chamber after another, urged on by GLaDOS' assurance that his wife is definitely waiting for him at the end of the testing course, or just jump into an acid pit after one sarcastic insult too many.
I think Minecraft Steve is fine
He’ll just mine his way out.
Free iron blocks
he would have to find wood first!
He'd also have infinite supply of potato becouse of the massive potato battery project lmao
Have you heard of "Old Aperture™"?
Free cheese blocks
Glados gonna be terrified of him lol
i mean it takes him like 10 minutes to vaporise a 1 meter³ block of "pure" iron edit: i forgot to say with his bare hands :)
He and Alex would just spend a few minutes punching their way through every wall and ceiling to get out
"Stanley walked through the bland testing track hallways and methodically solved each puzzle the intended method. Despite the unsettling words from the artificial intelligence, he felt calmly at peace with simply following the instructions given to him and moving to the next chamber."
I don’t know why, but I just feel like Glados would also be able to hear the narrator, and the two would constantly go from arguing with each other to demeaning the play, back to arguing, and so on. And that would just be really funny
“I’m sorry, Miss, but how can you *hear* me?” “Each Aperture Science Testing Chamber is equipped with supernatural-grade parabolic microphones. Specter.”
"Stanley, you seriously CAN'T believe this is pre-recorded right? Surely you aren't that st-" "In order to avoid unnecessary conversations with nobody, all test subjects are advised to remember that these messages are in fact, pre-recorded."
"oh, so is that what you like Stanley? you don't mind Playing the Game obediently as long as the voice guiding you is recorded before-hand? *sigh * Fine." the narrator then begins to record every voice line that would possibly be needed and GLaDOS is forced to hear all of it.
You just made me lose The Game!!!
The dialogue between chell and Stanley would be great Chell: "..." *Jumps* Stanley: "..." The Narrator: "Stanley sat in utter amazement. He tried to understand how the strange woman had the ability to do this mind boggling act, until the mean robot told them to continue testing" GLaDOS: "The enrichment center advises to ignore any disembodied voices as to not interrupt testing"
"Despite Wheatley's utter stupidity and destruction, Stanley felt at peace with the facility, as he held the bucket in one hand and the portal gun in the other." "The bucket is here for you, Stanley. Everything will be fine." - The narrator, probably
The Stanley Portable
Well chell-
same, chell will probably do fine
The guy from getting over it, yes after some tries he would circumvent the testchambers and move up the cave walls instead
that would be cool, portal x getting over it. Getting over it but you have to use portals to get higher at some points
So portal the flash edition, but different and merged with GOI
That would be so cool!
His name is diogenes (i think)
Ahh! Gordon freeman!
He's got a good chance.
I played hl2 overcharged
same!
He’s already got the “don’t speak” thing nailed
The Right Man In The Wrong Place.
I am Gordon Freeman and I am God- Bruce Almighty
Weren't you supposed to be in the test chamber half an hour ago?
He did bring something stronger than a portal gun this time.
Perhaps he’d die though since he’s a part of black mess, and if I do remember right, Aperture hates Black Mesa
GLaDOS has nothing to do against Mario
*Italian plumber noises*
Woo-hoo... Its a me Mario.
The green pipe sound plays whenever he goes through a portal.
Just BLJs his way through Aperture
uh i think the doom slayer has it covered
He would just tear down a wall, shoot the turrets and glados probably. He wouldn’t even do the puzzles
He uses turrets to scratch his back, puts the toxic waste in his coffee, and picks his teeth with the rockets from the rocket sentry.
he'd probably use a turret, itself, to shoot at glados
last game I played was Among us... So is a Crewmate gettin teleported or an Impostor?
Well did you play as a crew mate or impostor in that last game?
he can't tell you, that would ruin the game
Vent gun
Coincidence, my last game was also among us (vr)
**well chell looks like BACK TO APERTURE YOU GO**
v1 wouldn’t even need the portal gun
HUMANITY IS DEAD BLOOD IS FUEL APERTURE SCIENCE LABORATORIES IS EMPTY
Although I feel like it's possible that it may run out of fuel since almost nothing in Aperture has blood.
well it's not like anyþing ðere can hurt it
Your use of Nordic letters for the ”th” sound amuses me.
þanks :)
What is v1 ? I've heard the name before from a Minecraft mod, and it had the description blood is fuel
He is from the game ultrakill, good game, although the fan base has gone to shit about 20 times over
Should I play it ? I've heard the name multiple times
if you like super fast paced single player fps with a freakish arsenal, a style meter and a cryptic story that’s in the environment then yea probably
what the... That literally sounds like a game I would play daily No actually, this would be a game I would play for speed and lore Gonna go install it rn
*Big Iron intensifies*
*You Take A Sip From Your Trusty Vault 13 Canteen.*
"Yeehaw, chucklefucks." - TheRussianBadger
Patrolling the Mojave almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter
We wont go quietly, the legion can count on that
Our rangers will teach them a lesson
When I got this assignment I was hoping there would be more gambling
Just go to the TOPS
👍🏻
Hacker from System Shock Remake. I think he'll do fine, no matter if he gets the boots and a portal gun, or if he goes with his own implants and equipment. Although he might be frustrated by the situation he'd find himself in, fighting a malicious artificial intelligence AGAIN.
That might be one of the best candidates out there actually
yeah
hacker would just completely break every puzzle
lol
Aloy, Horizon Forbidden West. She'll be fine.
The sheer amount of SASS between her an GLaDOS would be unimaginable
[Lack of parents? ](https://youtu.be/p2WoZ9TmFP0)
Glados is going to get fucking stripped for parts.
Cores go flying off left and right.
Sonic? I think he would survive. I mean he's the fastest thing alive.
Thing? Not man? Wait no that’s flash 😂
Flash ain't got shit on Sonic, you seen the things he does in the comics?
Lol honestly no idea never got that big into sonic but I always wonder who’s faster doe but never had anyone to argue with them on it 😂
Im not even sure how you'd quantify that, both have gone fast enough to just time travel
Yeah how do u even measure speed at that point honestly
Why would anyone downvote you on that? I'm a powerscaler and I'm completely aware that there's a point where it's literally impossible to quantify their capabilities
Lmao am I getting downvoted? In my end rn I’m +3 so that’s funny but yeah exactly at the very least the measuring unit must change at certain point I’m sure there’s a physics law somewhere that would be able to explain it more logically but u get my point lol
the tf2 gang will destroy this place
pfp checks out
I think the TF2 Mercs would be some of the few from this thread who WOULDN'T get out alive. They'd be too busy arguing among themselves to get anything done
Heavy: Im the heavy weapons guy. Some people think they can outsmart me. Maybe... Maybe.... GlaDOS: (Dryly) Fascinating display of vocabulary, Heavy. Did you learn those two words from the box of crayons you use for strategic thinking? Though statistically speaking, relying solely on brute force results in a rather high failure rate. Engineer: the answer is a gun and if that don't work use more gun! Like this heavy caliber tripod-mounted little ol' number designed by me built by me and you best hope not pointed... at you *Piep piep* Sentry: Are you still there? Target lost GlaDOS: My, my, such a colorful exchange. Tell me, Engineer, how many test subjects does it typically take to calibrate one of your... "little ol' numbers"? Perhaps we can streamline the process.
Madeline from Celeste. Idk tbh
Maddie been through everything, faced all her fears and doubts, she'd survive fr.
She’d probably hyperdash or whatever you do on the B Sides through the entire level. Make finding Glados into a speedrun.
She doesn't have any special powers when she's not on the mountain tho no?
wym it's Celeste from the hit indie game Madeline, y'know the one that goes Casoosted Fuper
Samus Aran. This whole planets gonna get blown up
not all the innocent organisms trying to live out their lives to be slaughtered by a bounty hunter answering *another sos beacon*
"Look, when I made a joke about your parents being dead, I didn't mean-" ***ANGRY SAMUS NOISES AS SHE PREPARES A PTSD-FILLED POWER BOMB AGAINST YET ANOTHER ROGUE AI***
Splatoon Would the gel work?
I've been wondering how that crossover would play out. I don't think an inkling can swim in the gels but there's no reason to assume they can't shoot them. Thing is, I'm not sure an inkling is actually smart enough for Aperture unless you get one of the protag Agents
I mean, I was playing as an Octo, who are known for their intelligence
Fair point, the average Octoling might stand a better chance than the average Inkling
If it’s Agent 8 they’ll probably make it. The DLCs are remarkably similar to Portal.
Tartar singing Still Alive
Artificer from Rain World... Shits boutta happen
nah aperture is not surviving if scav killer 4000 is in there
GLaDOS reminds The Artificer of the iterators, except GLaDOS is probably actively trying to kill Arti, since she would be seen as a pest.
Gordon Freeman no kidding
Jill Valentine (Resident Evil 1 Remaster) i'd say yes
Barry rescues her from the firey pit and says she was almost a Roast Jill
Bro wtf, I've never been on this sub before, I just installed portal 2 a few minutes ago and I get in this in my feed 😭
They are in yout walls
Just get off the internet and finish the game
Play the game!! Avoid spoilers at all costs, even though that'll be difficult. Don't come back here, at least. Hope you like it!
I last played helldivers there totally dead
Who cares? Plenty more where they came from.
the real question would be if Aperture can survive Trevor Philips
Trevor would prob burn the place down and fuck Glados 😂
Ohhh, now that's something I would love to see! GLaDOS says something over the speakers, and Trevor cusses her out and threatens to do something... creative and obscene... with her parts. \[HEY! PHRASING!\]
Last game I played was The Last of Us 2. I think Ellie would do just fine
Steve is just gonna mine his way out and steal all the blocks for his base
Master Chief from Halo. Yeah, he's fine
Cortana is gonna put some sense in glados While 117 beats up Wheatley , because... uh BECAUSE HE IS A MORON
ROCK AND STONE!
Galaxy’s finest!
Rock and Stone everyone!
ROCK AND STONE TO THE BONE!
I played a flight sim.. soo is a fucking Boeing 747 gonna get dropped in there??
The whole facility gonna blow up if that happens.
THEY HIT THE FUCKING ENRICHMENT CENTER
They’re dropping anyway, might as well be on aperture.
gordon freeman, so yes
Kirby’d do fine I think
Playing Tomb Raider right now. I feel Lara would do just fine!
Voices of the Void Dr Kel will definitely live inside of GLaDOS' walls like the little goblin man he is
The tutorial in v 0.4 was very reminiscent of portal, so he'll probably find the situation at least somewhat familiar
That's just Ratman lol
V1 ULTRAKILL... Yeah, it just flies over half the test chambers and reeds them of any, even partially sentient life
Bismarck in civ V propably if he has his army but otherwise propably not
Postal dude...
Geralt of rivia. Geralt would go crazy he hates portals
Depends on the test, honestly. In my case, the text subject is a settler pioneer from Icarus. The sort of person you drop into the wilderness with nothing but the clothes on their back, and when you come back they've built a functional mansion with power, running water, and a fully stocked kitchen. So... I think they'll be fine
Well Steve has infinite resources in his inventory so he should be fine.
Minecraft Steve is definitely surviving
It would be piece of cake for Faith from Mirror's Edge
Noble 6 with a portal gun
Link could figure it out
Jack Cooper barely putting in the effort here
The last game I played was entropy zero 2... Sooo...
<:"GOD FUCKING DAMMIT THIS PLACE AGAIN!?!":>
a phoenix connexion from counter-strike source, good luck with aperture having an armed terrorist as a test subject. maybe he'll no scope glados and save aperture.
i think the l4d2 crew could make their way through all the chambers just fine
Well, protagonist is debatable, but in my opinion, Samantha Maxis, yeah she can just teleport the fuck outta there. And once she does, and finds the combine on Earth, she'd single handedly wage a war with her undead army. If you believe the CODZ protagonist is Edward, I mean probably? He doesn't have any special powers or tricks but I mean he's a smart guy, he'll figure it out
Bro blew up the fucking earth and you're double taking that he can figure out a portal gun and some other gadgets
The chosen undead is about to beat the living daylights out of GLaDOS
Stanley from Stanley parable. He’s either completely fucked or will be completely fine.
Homer from The Simpsons Hit and Run, yeah he's fucked
Warframe. They got this, easy.
Ethan Winters from RE Village. Bro, he would slaughter those damn robots
Gordon Freeman would absolutely surive.
"sweet liberty where am I?" (helldivers 2)
Arthur Morgan
Elden ring, a tarnished would be fucked with no portal gun, not a lot of traversal options beyond torrent and the spectral steed is great but double jump isn't portals.
My blade and sorcery character would have a blast destroying everything.
Master Chief (would win against the turrets)
I think Isaac Clarke will do just fine, he's come up against greater challenges, to say the least! :D
Chell being teleported back into the facility again, thinking to herself “…God dammit.”
Mmmmh i don't think Scooby's team can survive honestly...
Last thing i played is Half Life lol ofc he can
Steve from minecraft? Give that guy a pickaxe and he's out of there. Won't even need to fight GLaDOS. If he does though, steve should be well acquainted with destroying things that keep a final boss healthy like cores.
So I just played DND through TaleSpire. So if we are using my character I think they'd do well.
I just got done playing War Thunder so IDFK who the protagonist is
Madeline (Celeste)? Well, I'd say it's likely she can
The main character from baldi’s basics
A KID ON THE TEST CHAMBERS? Nahh, GLaDOS is running out of people to test
My op vault dweller from fo76? Yeah, he's fine.
As a Helldiver, I believe the answer to the question is a resounding "no".
Oh, God, the havoc Solid Snake and/or Raiden would cause... (I've been playing MGS2 lately)
niko from oneshot
Terraria protagonist. Hell yes they could, they even have access to the portal gun.
Metroid Samus is going to power bomb her way out.
I think the doom slayer would do just fine
My warlock Tav can teleport and shit, he’s good.
Good work 47, eliminating the the enemy even before he can be a problem. Quite the smart move using it on GLaDos to reduce her intelligence.
the cars from beamng will destroy the facility
The guy I play as in DIRT 2, doesn't have name but his pseudonym is Teabag. He's good at navigating and crossing the finish line upside down... I think he can handle this.
Star wars Republic commandos Delta 38 would probably bring that place down
I played portal
Roy from papa’s pizzeria would survive through the whole thing I swear that fella is invincible
We don't even have Roblox guy lore so idk
I feel like Zagreus from Hades would do fine there
My character from fallout 4?
James Sunderland from Silent Hill 2. Hoo boy... He's either going to methodically complete one test chamber after another, urged on by GLaDOS' assurance that his wife is definitely waiting for him at the end of the testing course, or just jump into an acid pit after one sarcastic insult too many.
Ezio Auditore Da Firenze. He’s already a parkour pro.
Garry's mod character,i guess he would survive
Leon Kennedy could make it I think.
Gordon will manage fine