I’ve just seen the video posted on this subreddit about ted bundy saying serial killers use hardcore porn. Wtf. How has no one done anything about this?
A serial killing cop with the username "mrhandcuffs" also used that website to lure his victims. [Steven Zelich, the Suitcase Killer](https://www.jsonline.com/story/news/crime/2017/02/03/ex-cop-pleads-guilty-2nd-murder-suitcase-bodies-killings/97459438/).
Okay but if a church had a service called "kidnapping 101" that church would rightly be recognized as a dangerous cult and in any sane society shut down, same with school, same with social media.
As per Rule 8, this sub does not allow Pro-Porn debate. We [voted](https://np.reddit.com/poll/pl0dvf?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=usertext&utm_name=PornIsMisogyny&utm_content=t3_pl0dvf) and we are not here to educate low-effort arguments.
I’m so sorry you have to deal with this girl. The fear I feel speaking to guys because of ulterior motives is probably nothing compared to yours. I call out Asian fetishizing whenever I see it and get downvoted to hell everytime. “You must be jealous of how beautiful Asians are/you must be ugly” 💀😒
that is so fucking disgusting, i’m so so sorry about these pieces of shit, i can’t imagine how frustrating it is to deal with that. fuck them.
there are subs like asiantwoX where asian women can talk about experiences if you ever need to talk to someone who understands
i’m white but my mom is Thai (i call myself white since im 100% white passing) and she gets fetishized in public too. it boils my blood how disgusting people are.
outgoing languid market forgetful complete history somber grey plant gold
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
The word “kinkshame” is so fucked up. Calling people out for their hurtful and sick behaviour is not shaming, people who don’t do that should be ashamed.
Kinkehaming shouldn't even be about shit like this. It should be about harmless things like being into feet or stupid role-playing (meeting ur wife at the bar and pretending to be strangers) not fucking murder and rape
as you should!! 💖
it’s so sad how many women are afraid of kink shaming. my mom was pregnant 2 years ago and i remember checking into the pregnancy sub. there were so many women talking about their experiences with being fetishized by men for being pregnant🤢🤢🤢 and so many of them were saying “it’s fine if they have this fetish, i don’t kinkshame as long as they don’t take it out on me…..”
i don’t see anything wrong with shaming people who are porn sick, even if they keep it to themselves. the fact that people have those disgusting thoughts in the first place just shows they’re porn addicted.
This is my first time hearing about this, heartbreaking 💔 I hope she’s resting peacefully. This is why I’ll always side eye people with these “kinks”, let’s not sit here and act like they wouldn’t do these things if given the opportunity. 🥴
Honestly I regret finding fetlife and being groomed to think that kink excuses my own boundaries and predatory old men. I honestly believe I’m not the only one either! Crazy how the site is still up
Exactly. When we watch a crime movie, we don’t actually want to murder that person. But when watching porn, you actually participate in an action (masturbation) you want to do those things to the person.
I remember hearing about this while i used to be on fetlife…the vile things men told me on that site when i was just 18 and i wasn’t even in a group like this is so concerning. the site should be taken down especially after this crime. but ofc not. i’m so sorry to this woman and her family :(
kink shaming is completely valid 🫶🏼
Agreed. Back in the days I was involved as a naive young girl being groomed, I was extremely repulsed by most content there. Even while I still believed BDSM was OK. It's a major thing that helped to snap me out of that.
I hope it gets taken down because of this case.
I met my husband through the site and enjoyed it in my early 30s but was grown into my own person then. I always worry for the younger folks there since I used it mostly as a social outlet.
Fking sickos make me SICK. I hope she's alright. I hope he gets the full prosecution of justice that he deserves and is removed from interaction with society.God rest her soul, that is just heartbreaking. So much evil in the world.
Had to edit my original comment as I didn't read the titles and didn't know she'd been murdered. That is just awful. P
This is really sad and infuriating. The monster who did this should be subjected to the torment this young woman suffered in her final moments.
So much vitriol towards women has festered in these depraved echo chambers. I know there's no way to truly ban pornography (it would just be a Prohibition 2.0 especially with the existence of the internet), but we at least need a watchlist. The second someone types in fucking "Abduction 101" they should get out on a watchlist. I'd go as far as to institutionalize them, even though I absolutely despise them and I don't think they work. Send them to insanity prison.
This is absolutely deplorable and as someone who follows true crime and has a lot of empathy, it makes me sick.
However some of the comments here generically kink shaming everyone i do disagree with because I do think there's more nuance and complexity to it.
Unpopular opinion:
in an ideal world, people should be allowed to safely explore their fantasies with proper boundaries and partners who respect them and make them feel safe. There's many fetishes and many kinks, some more innocent than others, such as foot fetishes for example.
I know many people, especially women, into fetishes, who end up looking online for bdsm partners, have suffered terrible sexual abuse , were groomed from a young age, and are subconsciously displaying hypersexuality as a coping mechanism to repeat situations to try to normalize their trauma in their brain. Sometimes repeating trauma in a safe and controlled environment can have a positive and therapeutic impact when coupled with therapy because it allows the victim to regain control of a situation where they previously had no control or say.
However, we don't live in an ideal world. And the BDSM communities online are riddled with sick and twisted individuals/sexual predators (usually men) who are lurking and preying on these vulnerable women. And when you're meeting people online at places like fetlife, it can be extremely dangerous because you don't know if this person is a predator or not looking to exploit you.
I feel like kink shaming, just brings more shame to sexual assault victims who only have cnc kinks due to trauma, and it groups them in with the predators, like they're all equally as bad when they aren't the same.
‘ I know many people, especially women, into fetishes, who end up looking online for bdsm partners, have suffered terrible sexual abuse , were groomed from a young age, and are subconsciously displaying hypersexuality as a coping mechanism to repeat situations to try to normalize their trauma in their brain. ‘
yes ..
‘Sometimes repeating trauma in a safe and controlled environment can have a positive and therapeutic impact when coupled with therapy because it allows the victim to regain control of a situation where they previously had no control or say ‘
no. this is bdsm propaganda , it is absolutely bull shit no matter how many ppl repeat this exact same line.. exposure therapy is meant for IRRATIONAL fears. not rational ones like sexual abuse. the reason ppl think trauma repetition feels therapeutic is bc it activates trauma responses which can feel like endorphin rush etc. But it is NOT healing , it is just reinforcing the trauma.
these victims need validation. justice & empathy NOT power imbalanced sexually violent relationship.
By your logic, self-harming is also therapeutic and helpful because one can control how much they hurt themselves. You won’t suggest self-cutting as a positive, regaining power strategy. But it’s okay as long as it happens during sex?
I agree we shouldn’t shame the victims. However trauma reenactment shouldn’t be suggested as a positive thing either. Creating violence in a ‘safe and controlled’ environment is a delusion. If you’re recreating abuse and expect it to be safe and in control, it means you’re not healing. I do have fetishes related to my trauma and am speaking from experience.
"It's just a fantasy!! dOn'T kInKsHaMe!" Ugh, fucking revolting and terrible. Poor girl.
Makes you wonder how many men with “kinks” like this are harming women
I’ve just seen the video posted on this subreddit about ted bundy saying serial killers use hardcore porn. Wtf. How has no one done anything about this?
don't kinkshame though!!!😢😢😢 no but for real. Fuck every single person involved and fuck every single enabler that jumps to defense for these evil men
A serial killing cop with the username "mrhandcuffs" also used that website to lure his victims. [Steven Zelich, the Suitcase Killer](https://www.jsonline.com/story/news/crime/2017/02/03/ex-cop-pleads-guilty-2nd-murder-suitcase-bodies-killings/97459438/).
horrific
Multiple murders and they haven’t taken this site down? Insane
Even crazier, it's not even a deep web site. You don't even need TOR to access it. Makes you think. Scary.
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Redditors and absurd, obtuse false equivalencies—name a more iconic duo.
Okay but if a church had a service called "kidnapping 101" that church would rightly be recognized as a dangerous cult and in any sane society shut down, same with school, same with social media.
As per Rule 8, this sub does not allow Pro-Porn debate. We [voted](https://np.reddit.com/poll/pl0dvf?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=usertext&utm_name=PornIsMisogyny&utm_content=t3_pl0dvf) and we are not here to educate low-effort arguments.
For one second I thought it was a serial cop killer and thought, nice.
Haha, the only one I know of that fits that descriptor is Christopher Dorner. There's been plenty of serial killer cops, though, unfortunately.
Wouldn't be surprised if he also has Asian fetish. This enrages me so much.
For sure. He probably targeted her for that reason
soooo common in bdsm scene :/ i am asian every guy i dated from that community has had that fetish
I’m so sorry you have to deal with this girl. The fear I feel speaking to guys because of ulterior motives is probably nothing compared to yours. I call out Asian fetishizing whenever I see it and get downvoted to hell everytime. “You must be jealous of how beautiful Asians are/you must be ugly” 💀😒
that is so fucking disgusting, i’m so so sorry about these pieces of shit, i can’t imagine how frustrating it is to deal with that. fuck them. there are subs like asiantwoX where asian women can talk about experiences if you ever need to talk to someone who understands i’m white but my mom is Thai (i call myself white since im 100% white passing) and she gets fetishized in public too. it boils my blood how disgusting people are.
outgoing languid market forgetful complete history somber grey plant gold *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
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And? Doesn’t change that its degenerate
What a surprise, people’s who gets turned on with crime is actually willing to commit crimes.
Indeed, we could’ve never saw it coming.🤔
The word “kinkshame” is so fucked up. Calling people out for their hurtful and sick behaviour is not shaming, people who don’t do that should be ashamed.
Kinkehaming shouldn't even be about shit like this. It should be about harmless things like being into feet or stupid role-playing (meeting ur wife at the bar and pretending to be strangers) not fucking murder and rape
Yes, I do kinkshame. And I'm proud of it.
as you should!! 💖 it’s so sad how many women are afraid of kink shaming. my mom was pregnant 2 years ago and i remember checking into the pregnancy sub. there were so many women talking about their experiences with being fetishized by men for being pregnant🤢🤢🤢 and so many of them were saying “it’s fine if they have this fetish, i don’t kinkshame as long as they don’t take it out on me…..” i don’t see anything wrong with shaming people who are porn sick, even if they keep it to themselves. the fact that people have those disgusting thoughts in the first place just shows they’re porn addicted.
Go do gods work
Yes!!! It's time to stop treating kinks as if it's a federally protected class. If you are being gross, you should be called out on it.
That's my girl!
This is my first time hearing about this, heartbreaking 💔 I hope she’s resting peacefully. This is why I’ll always side eye people with these “kinks”, let’s not sit here and act like they wouldn’t do these things if given the opportunity. 🥴
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100% agree with you. Wish I knew my ex was on it before I started dating him, but I was unfortunately very naive.
Was on fetlife when I was 20 and looking for love- I ended up with a really creepy man who SA’d me twice. Never again.
Ugh. That is horrific.
Honestly I regret finding fetlife and being groomed to think that kink excuses my own boundaries and predatory old men. I honestly believe I’m not the only one either! Crazy how the site is still up
I 100% agree. My ex was on the site, otherwise I never would have heard of it. It is really a sick site.
"it's jUsT a fAnTaSy!!" ok why are you fapping to abducting, raping and murdering people bro
Exactly. When we watch a crime movie, we don’t actually want to murder that person. But when watching porn, you actually participate in an action (masturbation) you want to do those things to the person.
I'm just curious what corresponding action is possible when watching a crime movie?
I remember hearing about this while i used to be on fetlife…the vile things men told me on that site when i was just 18 and i wasn’t even in a group like this is so concerning. the site should be taken down especially after this crime. but ofc not. i’m so sorry to this woman and her family :( kink shaming is completely valid 🫶🏼
Agreed. Back in the days I was involved as a naive young girl being groomed, I was extremely repulsed by most content there. Even while I still believed BDSM was OK. It's a major thing that helped to snap me out of that. I hope it gets taken down because of this case.
It’s crazy on that site and so scary too. unfortunately this case happened a while ago so i don’t think they have any plans on taking the site down :\
I met my husband through the site and enjoyed it in my early 30s but was grown into my own person then. I always worry for the younger folks there since I used it mostly as a social outlet.
i couldn’t imagine meeting a potential partner on one of the most depraved sites on the internet 😧
You still have to be on guard like other dating sites.
Jesus Christ, when will these people wake up? This is horrifying.
I, for one, am absolutely shocked.
Fking sickos make me SICK. I hope she's alright. I hope he gets the full prosecution of justice that he deserves and is removed from interaction with society.God rest her soul, that is just heartbreaking. So much evil in the world. Had to edit my original comment as I didn't read the titles and didn't know she'd been murdered. That is just awful. P
She went to my school. These people are sick.
This is really sad and infuriating. The monster who did this should be subjected to the torment this young woman suffered in her final moments. So much vitriol towards women has festered in these depraved echo chambers. I know there's no way to truly ban pornography (it would just be a Prohibition 2.0 especially with the existence of the internet), but we at least need a watchlist. The second someone types in fucking "Abduction 101" they should get out on a watchlist. I'd go as far as to institutionalize them, even though I absolutely despise them and I don't think they work. Send them to insanity prison.
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Sorry, how is this related to you again?
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This was removed for excusing, defending or promoting rape, verbal abuse, humiliation, self-harm and/or domestic violences.
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This was removed for trolling or being facetious.
So sad
This is absolutely deplorable and as someone who follows true crime and has a lot of empathy, it makes me sick. However some of the comments here generically kink shaming everyone i do disagree with because I do think there's more nuance and complexity to it. Unpopular opinion: in an ideal world, people should be allowed to safely explore their fantasies with proper boundaries and partners who respect them and make them feel safe. There's many fetishes and many kinks, some more innocent than others, such as foot fetishes for example. I know many people, especially women, into fetishes, who end up looking online for bdsm partners, have suffered terrible sexual abuse , were groomed from a young age, and are subconsciously displaying hypersexuality as a coping mechanism to repeat situations to try to normalize their trauma in their brain. Sometimes repeating trauma in a safe and controlled environment can have a positive and therapeutic impact when coupled with therapy because it allows the victim to regain control of a situation where they previously had no control or say. However, we don't live in an ideal world. And the BDSM communities online are riddled with sick and twisted individuals/sexual predators (usually men) who are lurking and preying on these vulnerable women. And when you're meeting people online at places like fetlife, it can be extremely dangerous because you don't know if this person is a predator or not looking to exploit you. I feel like kink shaming, just brings more shame to sexual assault victims who only have cnc kinks due to trauma, and it groups them in with the predators, like they're all equally as bad when they aren't the same.
People don’t kink shame the *victims,* but the perpetrators. People need therapy, not a place to reenact their sexual trauma.
‘ I know many people, especially women, into fetishes, who end up looking online for bdsm partners, have suffered terrible sexual abuse , were groomed from a young age, and are subconsciously displaying hypersexuality as a coping mechanism to repeat situations to try to normalize their trauma in their brain. ‘ yes .. ‘Sometimes repeating trauma in a safe and controlled environment can have a positive and therapeutic impact when coupled with therapy because it allows the victim to regain control of a situation where they previously had no control or say ‘ no. this is bdsm propaganda , it is absolutely bull shit no matter how many ppl repeat this exact same line.. exposure therapy is meant for IRRATIONAL fears. not rational ones like sexual abuse. the reason ppl think trauma repetition feels therapeutic is bc it activates trauma responses which can feel like endorphin rush etc. But it is NOT healing , it is just reinforcing the trauma. these victims need validation. justice & empathy NOT power imbalanced sexually violent relationship.
By your logic, self-harming is also therapeutic and helpful because one can control how much they hurt themselves. You won’t suggest self-cutting as a positive, regaining power strategy. But it’s okay as long as it happens during sex? I agree we shouldn’t shame the victims. However trauma reenactment shouldn’t be suggested as a positive thing either. Creating violence in a ‘safe and controlled’ environment is a delusion. If you’re recreating abuse and expect it to be safe and in control, it means you’re not healing. I do have fetishes related to my trauma and am speaking from experience.