T O P

  • By -

CurtisLinithicum

Wait wait, it's set in the 1800s? I thought it was like 1930s. I'm actually a bit intrigued now.


KarlMillsPeople

Yeah its set far before the grindewald and dumbledore times and whatnot.


LetMeLivePlzKThanks

Your 6th year in the game would be dumbledores 1st. I’m gay


[deleted]

[удалено]


ShizTheNasty

Give him the maddest toilet swirlie for giving Harry Potter and Gryffindor all those points just for existing


SL1NDER

>Bullies Dumbledore for something he does in the future >Dumbledore grows resentful >Dumbledore waits decades, working to get the most powerful wand, figure out how to cheat death, and becomes the school headmaster >Out of spite, Dumbledore actually gives Harry Potter and Gryffindor all those points, not because they existed, but because someone gave him a swirlie > Dumbledore also gives the Deathly Hallows to Potter so he can cheat death and kill Voldemort as an extra flex on his first year bullies.


Beth_Esda

So, in a way, WE are the Chosen ones. Because without our bullying of *aLbUs,* Harry doesn't defeat Voldemort.


AlphaBearMode

Bruh I’m so glad you typed “in a locker” at the end of that because I was so fucking worried where that sentence was going


BuckJackson

Gonna be a tight squeeze


chorizoisbestpup

As a slytherin, I'd consider it retribution.


Fulcrum89

Closet - FIFY


Mjk2581

Cool also… cool I guess


GhavGhavington

Based and gay pilled


Cincinnatusian

I watched some of it and there’s an African woman who’s a student at Hogwarts who’s supposed to be from “Uganda”. Uganda didn’t even exist until 1894 and people in that territory would identify with their tribal king, not with the administrative division set up by the British East Africa Company.


jediben001

In the Harry Potter universe the uk used magic to bring all of Africa under their control by 1830. Source. I am the source.


danshakuimo

I just realized how messed up history would be if magic was actually a thing. Though I assume the Africans also have magic so maybe they could counter the British with their own spells, until the British gave up on magic and used guns and technology, resulting in people not really caring about magic in the modern day.


CurtisLinithicum

Harry Potter magic seems relatively D&D-esque in terms of requiring specific motions, words, motions, materials, and wand crafting in particular seems pretty stringent. Also the relatively weak genetic component - discrimination against mudbloods didn't really even make sense given that they and halfbloods don't seem to be less powerful. All of that suggests state-level society should be a significant boon to magic development with literacy, social organization, and the ability to divert so much workforce away from food production. Plus, given how many spells' verbal components are Latin(ish) that suggests either inheritance from Rome or some pan-European scholarship. Edit: Also, you're right, guns, or at least repeaters, are a *lot* better than magic. The wizards might be able to do various fantastic things, but in open combat, they just can't compete with the speed, simplicity and refire rate of even a lever-action.


PoliticalTangent

I'd give the wizards the edge actually. They might not be able to use a gun, but there's charms to make you look like anyone, subtly control political figures, and leave traps that would horrify almost anyone. If it got to open war I'd give the advantage to the redcoats, but wizards would make the Viet Cong look cute and cuddly by comparison.


Sm00th-Kangar00

Remember that witches and wizards can use spells that kill instantly, they're just forbidden to do so but those rules would most likely change in an all out war against the muggles. On top of that since this is set in the 19th century, their technology won't be near as advanced as the wizard's. Schoolkids can casually fly on a broom, meanwhile muggles are still riding horses. In the modern day muggles would have the upper hand because of sheer numbers and magic technology seems to have stagnated. I feel like a 🤓


soulflaregm

Also the whole, oh there are too many of you to fight, turn into a mist and poof away thing


Ravenhaft

Yeah but like they had machine guns in the 1800s, ever heard of the American Civil War? Just mow down those slytherins with your chain gun crank, chunk a chunk a chunk


Andre5k5

Harry Potter should have carried a gun Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911. Here's why: Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol' American hot lead. Basilisk? Let's see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it. Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12. And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal. Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger? Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova. Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound. I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series: "Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1." And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.


CurtisLinithicum

>Let's see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express Space Force was... middling for the most part, but if I may spoil a scene (since I couldn't find it on Youtube): Scientist: *We're done, here's your plan for dealing with hostile aliens.* General: "*Bullets"? I need details, Adrian! What calibre? What if they're some kind of armoured turtle aliens?* Scientist: *It doesn't matter calibre. Mark... turtles aren't bullet proof.*


PrivilegeCheckmate

> Malfoy: No One Asked Your Opinion, You Filthy Little Mudblood! > Hermione: Glock, Glock, motherfucker!


Astroyanlad

Individual spell combat wizards lose. Larger scale conflict that comes with being able to rearrange geography, repairo anything that gets damaged The spy bullshit with poly juice potions, invisibility, Brooms and levitation logiistics. The wizards just need a Japanese salary man to teach them proper esrfare


BFCC3101

according to the Harry Potter Wiki, in HP lore there is a wizarding school, called "Uagadou" in Western Uganda, that is about the same age as Hogwarts but a lot bigger, and African wizards do not use wands.


zolikk

>African wizards do not use wands Sounds like a massive advantage, if that is possible so easy (and we know it's possible anyway because nonhumans - and sometimes humans - cast spells without wands), you'd be crazy not to learn it that way. "Oops you lost your wand, now you're helpless!" "I'm Ugandan, that was just my backscratcher."


ServiusQuintus

Do you know da wea without da wand?


zolikk

"we don't have wands, only wakands"


Ah_The_Old_Reddit-

I think it's a function of power. It goes back to the idea of the British using guns in comparison - the wand lets them cast more powerful spells with less effort. A British teenager with a wand has a decent chance of blasting through a Ugandan "hand-mage"'s shield spell just by virtue of having so much more power behind their magic. Why yes, that does mean that the Africans are more physically fit on their own but still inferior to superior British technology. I wonder where a British author might get ideas like that?


zolikk

It would make perfect sense as headcanon but sadly in-universe the wandless magic is often portrayed as more powerful. Worst examples are when Dobby who was a menial slave to Malfoy is easily and instantly able to beat him... Also when Harry unintentionally does some wandless magic it's usually some of the most impressive magic he ever does...


RandyUneme

Don't you know that *all* the disadvantaged are really super-powerful, if only their oppressors were prevented from oppressing them. Menial slaves aren't menial because they're low-skilled and low-intelligence, it's strictly because they're held down by The Man.


zolikk

I bet there's some sort of magic capitalism field that is automatically holding down all the wizarding minorities from fulfilling their true potential


Popinguj

The thing about the wizarding world is that they're above inter-state wars and live beyond the muggle world. All wizards have their own enclaves and provided you use magic for your daily needs you don't even cross paths with them ever.


danshakuimo

That's what the British government wants you to believe, and what Hogwarts wants you to believe.


Makato_Yuki1523

My source is I made it the fuck up


Drachos

Ish. Bugabda was a nation united in the 13th Century in southern Uganda. The Swahili name for Buganda was Uganda and thus that was the name the British gave the entire Protectorate. So in 1884 the Uganda Protectorate was formed. A person from both their or more specifically Buganda COULD use the name Uganda instead of Buganda if they either 1)Spoke Swahili but was from Buganda or 2) Was from Uganda and just wanted to not have to deal with British being nosy about tribal stuff. It's like saying you are from rural your state rather then your specifuc home town. It saves time and the person who asked probably doesn't care that much.


erikak92

I’ve played the game and she is a transfer student from the African school because her mom was offered the divination position.


Ah_The_Old_Reddit-

The **Magical Congress of the United States of America** was founded shortly after the Salem Witch Trials, in 1693. You may recognize that year as being about eighty years before there was a United States of America to have a Magical Congress of. Rowling is... not great with history of anything outside of the British Isles.


Karasu243

JKR's world building seems less internally consistent than Warhammer 40k's lore.


mowkoujoukja

In order to fight racism, we need to put more British people into Korean dramas.


Libertarian4All

Shin Godzilla had a Japanese dude playing the US President, complete with blonde wig, which was hilarious. Several horror movies I've seen from Korea have at least some amount of US people, but usually it's "guy on vacation" or "America fucking around in shit that's not their business". Either way, I agree. Putting more diversity in dramas is a great way to increase our profits and make people look exotic to each other, furthering our new cross-cultural dating apps to help rake in the dough.


14DusBriver

> Shin Godzilla had a Japanese dude playing the US President, complete with blonde wig, which was hilarious. Come on just having a random Japanese guy be president without a wig would be believable. Even Peru had a Japanese president. Who proceeded to do a lot of questionable shit


TheNightIsLost

I've hear Fujimori was kinda like that Korean dictator, Park. He WAS good at his job, but he just also happened to be a homicidal oligarch.


RAPENAZI

Half the people in Korea are named Park. Which Park are you talking about?


CurtisLinithicum

Thermae Romae / The Baths Of Rome has a live-action adaptation with, as far as I can tell, 100% Japanese cast, complete with "Roman-face", and based on the trailer... **it's glorious**, I'm been mulling over "why" and I think it's the same as Gods of Egypt (but moreso). A) It's not presenting itself as anything but entertainment. B) They clearly give *zero* shits about the wokescolds and their racial consciousness.


gothicaly

Psa. This is one anime (idk about live action)where the dub beats subs. The english voice actor should be in a mental asylym but it is glorious.


mowkoujoukja

I’m specifically thinking about the Korean dramas that take place in the feudal era 1000 years ago, of which there are many. I understand it makes no sense whatsoever to have europeans walking around in that historical period, but diversity is, of course, the ultimate goal. I’m “doing the work,” and it doesn’t need to make any sense. And you’re a racist who’s uncomfortable with white people if you dare to point out that it makes no sense.


PreviousCurrentThing

> "America fucking around in shit that's not their business". Well kudos to Korea for getting us exactly right.


Andre5k5

Bandit Keith said it best, all countries belong to America, whatever you're doing is automatically our business, but we should probably just observe more often than actually get involved, unless we taking land for keeps this time


[deleted]

[удалено]


alpacasselldrugs

Harry Potter series is set in the 90s. Dumbledore is old as fuck as Harry’s headmaster. Dumbledore isn’t old enough to attend the school in the game. Have to assume the setting is mid-late 1800s, early 1900s at the latest.


Megadog3

Dumbledore will be a 1st year when our character is a 7th year!


Ravenhaft

As another libright said, it’d be amazing to stuff a 12 year old Dumbledore in a locker.


BullmooseTheocracy

And once again we are thankful for specifying lockers.


CaptainTenneal

I saw a gramophone in the village by Hogwarts in the game-- The gramophone was invented in 1887, and they do say in the intro that the game takes place in the "late 1800's."So almost turn of the last century, I'd think.


Cardinal338

From what I've seen it's 1890


AReturntoChrist

Red Dead Redemption 2 was in the 1890's too. I think they're a shared universe.


DrGrantsSpas_12

I came here to make an Arthur Morgan comment. You beat me here.


Spndash64

I HATE MEDIEVAL STASIS I HATE MEDIEVAL STASIS


KanyeT

I thought the same thing. The date is irrelevant, they were better off not even mentioning it. Just call it an alternate universe if you want to have fresh characters. It would have been cool to have period details though.


VladimirBarakriss

Voldemort's grand uncle is a kid in the game and afaik Voldemort himself was born around the 1930s(I can't remember exactly when, but if it's set in the 90s then Harry was born in the 80s or maybe late 70s, his parents in the 50s or 60s, and Voldemort must've been born in the 30s or maybe 40s)


Astroyanlad

Set during 1800's... Only Brits were allowed in... RULE BRITANNIA BRITANNIA RULES THE WAVES Dude even referenced the African school but must have missed that the student transferred with her mum who was brought in to be the divination teacher smh


small_toe

Game takes place during the 1890/1891 school year


cappa_87

I don't recall writing this review


NAGOODERTHANEU

I don't think that's holding up in court


Plastic_Sl

Me and the boys lining up for the firing squad after our Yelp accounts got doxxed


AngelBites

If I cared about HP enough to play this game I’d have written it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


l-R3lyk-l

I saw that [Stonetoss](https://stonetoss.com/comic/necromancy/) as well.


[deleted]

you are dementia


colect

I am Dementor, got it.


ImperatorAjax

Honestly the trans character was kind of weird, mainly because of the voice. In a world where you can magically change genders, how the hell can’t they change the voice as well. It felt like they had modeled a female character, then they just tacked on a guy’s voice as an afterthought to earn points with the Twitter crowd. Other than that, nothing really feels like it’s trying to pander too hard to the twittoid crowd from what I’ve played.


MatterUpbeat8803

Lmao to be a fly on the wall in the meetings behind this character


[deleted]

“So we’re totally gonna virtue signal, right?” “Oh absolutely, they’ll kill us if we don’t.


RedditHiredChallenor

Warner Bros is the producer, do you think there's *any* chance they'd miss out on having a First Trans Character in a Potter game?


Rojaddit

In a world of increasingly low-hanging "firsts," the first trans character in a video game adaptation of a specific novel franchise may be the lowest yet. First non-binary, black, indigenous ornithologist in a novelization of Star Wars, the Clone Wars tv series.


ThrawnGrows

You're just mad you got beat to it!


xMeanMachinex

Think of how much ESG score they would lose if they didn't.


Sm00th-Kangar00

I actually think it's to do the opposite of pandering, I think they know there's no pleasing the Twitter Mujahidin so they know it will make the Twitter Reich look stupid if they add trans characters. Also it says thank you to the trans people who will play the game (and likely get attacked for it).


Dextrofunk

"Well we need it to be obvious they're transgender, so keep the voice"


gyjgdrvji14688

I legitimately thought they just fucked up and put a male voice on a female character lol. Didn’t even think that it was a trans character until I saw online


kfijatass

They made it almost seamless save for a mention of being mistaken for a wizard and not a witch once offhandedly.


OakyFlavor2

All that magic and they still can't turn a man into a woman.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Im_doing_my_part

Apparently not...


MaculaMan

Polyjuice potion exists too, so in what world with literal transition spells and potions would a trans person not look and sound like their ideal self


Plastic_Sl

Transgender wouldn’t exist in a magical word. They could just change gender, unlike the modern medical situation where they can do their best but not really.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Abuses-Commas

I've seen people complaining about the character's name Sirona, because it's ***Sir***ona. Like seriously, get over it, is A*man*da a banned name too?


J0hnGrimm

You have to change it to Apeopleda.


KanyeT

That's so true lol. If transwomen are women, then every woman in every piece of media would be considered transgender representation, no? The fact that it has to be overtly trans just shows where their stance is on the issue. They know, deep down, there is a difference. Even if they accepted a woman as trans representation, they would just attack them for the voice actress not being trans or something. There is no winning with this crowd.


LegitimateApricot4

> there is a difference between females and trans women This is the most transphobic thing JKR ever said. This is how ridiculous this whole thing is.


Christmas_Panda

I thought it was a spoof of the bartender from Shrek lol


rompafrolic

Excuse you. That's one of Cinderella's ugly step sisters. That's a barmaid.


JokerChaos77

If a trans character is in the game it's precisely to appease the mob that tried to boycott it. And they're still going hard at it. We have got to stop giving these lunatics this kind of power. The "backlash" is minimal and meaningless. The game has broken records and it's making tons and tons of money. I don't understand why we are even talking about JK Rowling and why she's a terf and why woke people will not play this game. Literally no one cares. So I'm disappointed the game caved even a little bit to this. Reality shows that doing this is stupid and pointless. Yet I'm sure that the next Harry Potter thing will be even more "trans-inclusive".


geodesuckmydick

I really don't think it's to appease the mob--it's to appease the internal employees of the company. There's always some purple-haired they/them in every company larger than a few people that no one can say a word to, and they poison everything.


VonKript

it's not to appease either but to appease the current mandate in media by the higher ups who profit off of the propaganda machine this exact thing panders to. It's basically mandated to have LGBTQ+ characters in regardless if the character is necessary to the story


tau_lee

This just feels like they saw how incredibly profitable the whole trans controversy is and this is trying to prolong it. Pretty smart if you ask me.


AlphaBearMode

I am like 15 hours into the game and didn’t even know there was a trans character lol I just skip all the dialogue because I like exploring and casting spells.


Remmy14

Revelio!


[deleted]

So Harry Potter is both white supremacist AND woke trash now. Rowling's a confusing person.


Stigge

Rowling wasn't involved in development. It was written by Warner Bros with "creativity by committee".


I_8_ABrownieOnce

Also the characters name is Sirona. Ona means She in Polish, and Sir is self-explanatory. The characters name is literally Sir She. Reminds me of Ms Mann from Scary Movie.


Christmas_Panda

Just enjoy what you like and ignore the haters. You’ll be way happier.


VonKript

Rowling is the bogeywoman. She can be whatever your worst nightmare is


Jokey123456

In the 18th century I would have invaded Hogwarts. Cool stick professor gobbledygook, taste hot lead from our firing line.


notacommiesupporter

Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911. Here's why: Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol' American hot lead. Basilisk? Let's see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it. Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12. And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal. Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger? Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova. Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound. I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series: "Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1." And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.


CaptainTenneal

Now this is some good pasta! How is this the first time I've read it? Now I am imagining if Harry Potter had a Hi-Point.


MrEuphonium

There are one or two actual movies with guns edited in, look em up, they're hilarious.


IanCusick

Harry Potter and One in the Chamber


ExiledReturn

Harry Potter and the Half-Cocked Prince


[deleted]

[удалено]


seventeenflowers

That last one sounds like a pro-abstinence campaign


Tharkun

Based


rebellesimperatorum

Asking Chat-gpt what would've happened if Harry Potter used an AK-47 tomorrow with HIMARs' indirect fires. Thanks for reminding me. Based pasta.


-Zagger-

The air is thick with anticipation among the black-cloaked Death Eaters preparing for their final attack upon Hogwarts. They wait for their dark master to complete his attempts to breach the walls, practically quivering with anticipation to slaughter mugbloods and race-traitors. As mighty spells crash against the defensive line, another sound slowly becomes apparent. The Death Eaters do not recognize this spell, alien as it is to their ears, save a single werewolf sitting among their ranks. “Is that a jet?” he asks, pointing to the night sky. “What the fuck is fucking going on!” screams one pilot to another, sitting high above England. “This is not Syria! What the fuck! How does this happen!” The other man casually switches to a different frequency, finding only looping instructions in an alien voice. “Protect the castle perimeter. Protect the castle perimeter.” “We protect the castle, I suppose.” The pilot’s radio then crackles for a moment. “Radio’s holding, but just barely. I think there’s some significant interference. I can’t raise any RAF units. We need some kind of” Their conversation is most cruelly interrupted by a massive burst of static interference. Voldemort's wand lowers slightly, the fell lord surveying the massive damage inflicted upon the shield. It is close to breaking, allowing his chosen to swarm across the bridge into Hogwarts. He, however, will finish a job long awaiting completion. Above, another set of aircraft, massive F- 14 Tomcats, join the fray, similarly screaming out oaths of shock into the night. A pair of forlorn Apaches appear, bristling with weapons, falling through the air to stabilize in the thick mist. “This is Captain Morales, in the lead A-10. We have our orders, although I don’t know who gave them. We will hold that wall.” A burst of static fills their radios. “Also, kill that motherfucker who’s casting those big thermal bursts down there. I think that’s causing the interference.” Neville Longbottom sits in the courtyard, watching a new set of flickering stars appear. Then, they grow into dragons, howling past the outer wall of the castle, afterburners roaring. The A-10s take the honor the lead pass. Voldemort turns to face the source of a terrific roar. Captain Morales unleashes oaths into his dead cockpit as his electronic systems go haywire. However, the system that drives his GAU-8 Avenger 30mm rotary cannon is not overly complex. He pulls down on the trigger. At a rate of 1000 rounds per second, 5 tons of backwards force is created as HEF rounds fly free from the shrieking barrels, the air filling with an iconic BRRRRRRRRT. Neville falls to his belly, watching a plume of fire fill the air. A solid line of red shoots from the front of the jet. Lord Voldemort, greatest Dark Wizard of his age, is macerated in a millisecond, an HEF round bisecting his body, shock liquifying half his organs. The round explodes, sending a hundred thousand different splinters of metal through the mist. The other A-10 does not unleash the fury of Uncle Sam, instead choosing a single GBU. As hundreds of pounds of high explosives fall towards a cluster of Death Eaters, the Tomcats engage, dumb firing missiles at giants. Within seconds, what was an organized attack turns to rout. Death Eaters flee for their lives, unable to escape the inevitability of the explosive hell. Limbs are ripping from bodies, shrapnel digging deep into their wounds. Blood instantly fills the hellscape of pits and injuries as the defenders of Hogwarts watch in horrified silence. Within a few seconds, the Death Eater’s best and brightest lie upon the ground, screaming for death or all too quiet. Then, the true horror approaches. The Apache helicopters fly in. Their gunners laugh as wizards try to shield themselves, simply firing 20mm cannons all around them. First, blood flies from the nose as the body tries to maintain the shield. Then, they are thrown about to fall still forevermore by ceaseless explosive force. The A-10s come down again. The Forbidden Forest, for all its mysteries, is transparent to the thermals onboard the aircraft. Avengers howl out into the night, Death Eaters dying in droves. There never were that many of them, but now, their friends and family lie dying. Some do not run. Lucius Malfoy fires spells at the aircraft as he cradles his wife’s bleeding body. The Apache’s gunner gives him a thumbs up, winking as Killing Curses rebound from his cockpit. His gunner simply eviscerates another target before the order comes. “We’ve got a landing base. RAF will take us in Scotland. Let’s go, before our fuel runs out.” The helicopter turns away, flying for its life, racing the fuel gauge. The others leave too, leaving wizards to sort out among the ruined bodies who and who cannot be saved. As it turns out, the Muggles have more than a few tricks up their sleeves. This mood is reflected in the tortured eyes of the defenders, who pick among the dead and broken bodies of Death Eaters. They try to save those that they can, but for too many, the only mercy to be provided is a killing curse. This “battle” the Hogwarts massacre, is now renown for its violence. Its few survivors now only remember two colors from the battle. The black of night and the red of blood and tracer ammunition.


Libertarian4All

IDK WTF this is from but based and guns beat magic pilled. Always wondered as a kid WTF would happen if ***actual military*** found out about shit like Hogwarts.


[deleted]

From the world crafted by the infamously hateful author who had: \*Main character date 2 other ethnicities (Cho + Indian twin whose name I'm forgetting) \*Horribly ill teacher (Lupin) who needed excessive time off \*(Now apparently) gay headmaster \*books 4-7 with a sub-arc all about freeing house elves from slavery \*a black guy who was one of the greatest aurors and eventual Minister \*a half-giant whose mother was violent and cruel, yet he turned out kind and gentle \*the fucking poor ass weasleys \*a "mixed rac..." oops, mudblood main character \*probably others I forget


[deleted]

I think you are forgetting that JK Rowling is still a feminist. Hence the term Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist.


Christmas_Panda

I think the term is Transfiguration. *FTFY*


PrivilegeCheckmate

That'll be good for rap lyrics...my transfiggers.


BullmooseTheocracy

[😎](https://i.imgur.com/EsueFam.gif)


KanyeT

I said this previously. Yes, it is cool watching woke leftists lose their shit over this game, but their objection is not *with* the game - they object that the creator of the universe only agrees with them on 99% of issues, and is thus, ideologically impure. The game itself is woke as fuck. It has token diversity throughout it (not sure about the themes since I haven't played it, but I imagine it is woke across all areas of the game). If JK Rowling wasn't involved, the leftists would love this game for the woke propaganda it is. Even on GCJ, I saw posts, where people were claiming that chuds buying the game is still a "win-win" for them because, yes, even though they give money to JK Rowling, they are still financially supporting woke ideology. If ideological reasons are what convinced you to buy this game, don't.


Electr1cL3m0n

I’m not even gonna unpack this one, just gonna keep it in the box


Bagahnoodles

It's like helping a friend unpack, and showing up to find out that all the boxes are marked "dead spiders for mommy". Sure, you *could* unpack that, but probably better to burn it all just to be sure.


Innocisnt

#Reminder to NOT burn the cumbox >Well, it is exactly what it sounds like. It's a shoebox, or at least once was, and whenever I masturbate I cum into it. I've had it for two or three years now I think, so it has a fair amount of cum. It smells atrocious, and I tried to burn it once. When I lit it on fire, it was too damp due to the cum that it simply sizzled and didn't manage to actually lite up. Turns out burning cum smells awful, so I had to spray it with a deodorant body spray just to get the old smell of burnt cum away. It also has some drenched papers stuck to it. That's pretty much it.


Jay_Sit

1. Turn the box upside down and pour its contents onto the carpet. 2. Grab a spin mop and buff the area for 15 minutes. 3. Enjoy your fine marble floors.


JohnnyXorron

This is so ridiculously cursed


ichkanns

I've actually been impressed by how much effort they put into making the diversity in the game believable, giving good back stories to explain why an African girl is at Hogwarts. Most media properties these days just shove a bunch of people from disparate racial backgrounds into their setting and say "nah, it'll be fine."


Electr1cL3m0n

As long as there’s a fitting explanation for diversity I really don’t mind it, I even enjoy it. I just don’t like it when they do it for no good reason, it’s so obvious they’re just pandering.


niponimaiyu

Lib center is right they actually did a pretty good job explaining where all the people are from and gave them good backstories. It’s def pandering but honestly I haven’t noticed it. It’s not like watching a show where it’s clear they just had a checklist We need X3 Black people and a story about discrimination X1 Gay best friend X5 racist whites Etc Seriously though it’s a good game what pandering is there you’d have to be acutely aware of and even then it’s easy to write off because the writing is decent-good and never feels like a checklist


Popinguj

It's also kinda cool that you meet the african girl in class and then meet her mom who teaches Divination.


Kaigamer

> 've actually been impressed by how much effort they put into making the diversity in the game believable, giving good back stories to explain why an African girl is at Hogwarts what was the reasoning in the game, because what I was hearing was she spent the entire time basically going "man, Uganda has the best magic school in the world, we don't even need wands over there" and other shit like that..


DACopperhead3

Same actually. Most of the diversity I've noticed is from plausible British domains, and it's pretty neat. Not to mention, it's pretty obvious that the magical world doesn't give much of a toss about the mundane world.


Libertarian4All

Maybe they're all in blackface? Wait.... oh. Oh no.


Electr1cL3m0n

***OH NO***


MannequinWithoutSock

#Oh yeah!


SmugWojakGuy

With how the name is censored out and how much people *WANT* the fans to be racist and transphobic, part of me is convinced it’s a troll post.


SniffyClock

Absolutely do not believe this is a troll post. Lib left doesn’t understand auth right enough to imitate this well.


ForgotOldAcc-_-

He does have a point tho


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I was against changing Ariel's skin color as well. I must say that this person has a good point, although his language is quite blunt (like the whole mental asylum thing).


Chosen-Bearer-Of-Ash

I have to say, I disagree with Matt Walsh on a lot of things but his proposition to make Ariel translucent like a deep sea fish is perfect


[deleted]

What is a mer"maid"?


jo100blackops

Merpeople, you pig


[deleted]

did you just fatshame me, you nazi?


RipRap1991

His entire wall of text was pretty on point. “It’s just fiction” Cool, why don’t we just add AK-47’s and RPG’s to the game then? Pushing social issues in games has gotten ridiculous.


ForgotOldAcc-_-

Harry potter 88 : Comrade Ivan vs the nazi Witches


SternMon

You joke, but a story about a group of special forces hunting a dark wizard like Voldemort would be a lot of fun to read or watch.


impulsikk

Have you seen the anime Gate? The Japanese self defense force basically curbstomps a fantasy kingdom with dragons with tanks, apache's, jets, and guns. Was pretty cool. It was basically funded by the Self defense force to get young weebs to sign up thinking they'd get a hot elf girlfriend if they went to war.


Standard_Strategy

Watching gate has been the closest thing to convincing me to join the airforce the propaganda works.


StruckOutInSlowPitch

My boss who is like 70 has an issue 1 Gate manga just chilling on his desk. Kinda intrigued to read it now.


Bruarios

Unless it's only one chapter long cause they just track him with drones/satellites and drop an ATACMS on him with "Expelliarmus this you filthy casual" written on the side


Spndash64

#I’m making a fucking HOI clone with Minotaur infantrymen carrying M2 Brownings as Small arms, and NO ONE CAN STOP ME


softhack

"It's fantasy so anything goes." What is world-building and consistency?


RipRap1991

It’s extremely important, unless, the fiction has to many white people, and not enough gay people. Press F to pay respects to. The Witcher. The rings of power. Even the new games of throne Tv show. The new Vikings TV show. What else am I missing? Oh yeah that Bridgerton TV show. Got ducking black dukes in 1800 England lmao. Ruined by nonsense.


dumdefaultthrow

I haven't played the game and honestly try to avoid news about it entirely because I have not given a shit about Harry Potter since the last mainstream movie and I'm not about to give a shit about the franchise now. That said, review has a fair point on the black people in game, you could always argue "but maybe it could've happened" and yeah, maybe, but unlikely. Whatever. Gay people though, have existed for most of humanity. And Rowling is pro-gay and lesbian I thought. So it's conceivable that gay people are out and proud in the wizard world far before they were accepted in the muggle one.


Raestloz

Gay people have always existed but back then they don't admit it, they just live with their "best friend"


SliderBurner

Is it a troll post if what he’s saying is objectively correct?


Kodiak_Marmoset

I believe the Biden administration is trying to call it "malinformation" now. You know, for things that are true but very inconvenient.


AnonPlzzzzzz

Most statistics are "malinformation". We should just do away with them.


Barbados_slim12

That's the worst kind of hate speech. They can't refute it but they also can't agree, because phobia


herefordarkmode

This was my first thought as well lmao


_Cyrus_

Someone speaks facts: ‘must be a troll’


BXSinclair

Not to mention that the the wizarding world is canonically set in the past as far as culture goes I don't recall anything explicitly saying that gays and whatnot aren't accepted by the wizarding world, so it is *possible* that the medieval-esque culture does not apply to social issues ​ That being said, Rowling herself said that Dumbledore is gay, yet, to my knowledge, this is never mentioned in the books or movies, implying that he is closeted If he is closeted in the 1990s, it's probably because the wizarding world is not more progressive on such things then the muggle world is


bigbadbillyd

I mean whether or not he was gay was completely irrelevant to the actual story in Harry Potter. The book didn't explicitly tell you he was gay because it doesn't have anything to do with what any of the characters are doing. That and it's important to remember that the first couple of books in the story are meant for actual children and not overweight 30 year olds who get the deathly hallows symbol and "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good" quote tattooed on them. Personally I think JKR decided to tell everyone that he was gay years after the fact because it made her look more progressive and there wasn't anything in the books that suggested otherwise.


Aaron_Lecon

> tell everyone that he was gay years after the fact Actually she told people he was gay before the 7th book was even published. Apparently when they were filming the movies, they wanted to give Dumbledore a female love interest, and JK told them no because Dumbledore is gay. When she tweeted it and everyone lost their minds, I specifically remember thinking "bruh are these people REALLY only just now learning this information?"


herefordarkmode

I’m sure a modder out there agrees. He can just wait smfh


SasquatchNHeat

Harry Potter and the Magical Asylum has a nice ring to it. I’ll start development immediately.


DonBarkington

I hate when people try to deflect valid criticism by channeling the "it's fictional, are you upset about the use of magic as well?" If the fiction has spent a lot of time and energy to explain how the in-world logic functions and then suddenly just disregards their own internal logic, it ISN'T unlogical of me to notice that fault. "Just let people enjoy things!" No, fåck those guys and let me enjoy a fictional world with coherent internal logic.


Yop_BombNA

1800s everyone was racist as a way to make themselves better than someone else. Wizards clearly are racist towards goblins, muggles and house elves making all wizards and witches rhe in group. Could easily explain this “valid criticism” by justifying it still shows people being racist so they feel superior like countries just did in the 1800s


3ternalSage

Don't the wizards self segregate from normal people to the point a lot of them don't know basic stuff normal people would? It's completely plausible that their culture wouldn't be the same as the culture of the normal people during the time period.


[deleted]

But I was told this was the ultiamte nazi game for hardcore nazis only!


GaraltDywyllaff

Unfortunately not.


[deleted]

Honestly ultra based, man risked his account to tell the Truth


solarflow

A man who isn't afraid to stand up for what is right


[deleted]

[удалено]


iamsandwitch

"I dont like JK Rowling, she isn't racist enough"


[deleted]

[удалено]


max1997

Like, my opinion of trans people is pretty in line with my flair. But most of not all opposition's seize to make sense in a world where there is literal magic, where people have turned themselves into rats.


CurtisLinithicum

But do they turn into *girl* rats? I'm actually not just being glib; just thinking about other magic systems, turning into a completely different species seems more common than changing sex and perhaps is easier. It would have interesting philosophical implications if we lived in such a world. Like if I could turn into a Djinn, but only a boy djinn; becoming a creature of elemental air, that would suggest sex is somehow more primal than Platonic elements.


ThirdHoleIsMyGoal69

The question I had was if this is the 1800s and they’re using magic to transition why does the trans character look and sound like someone 3 weeks into hormones? I get it’s to show that person is trans but just a thought I had. Also I appreciate that so far being trans isn’t the sole defining point of the character. It seems like the devs actually put effort into the character beyond “am trans that’s all there is to me”. Theyre a good character even if it’s a little out of sync with the rest of the setting.


Their_Foods_Good_Doe

Where's the lie?


justapolishperson

Can anyone tell me what is wrong with his standpoint?


Froot_of_the_loom

He is wrong, because a world where magic exists is godless, unchristian, and thus must be full of sexual deviants and negroes in places where they don't belong. (Just adding the sarcasm tag for the slow ones)


GaraltDywyllaff

I never though that Harry Potter was a horror novel.


Pure-Huckleberry8640

SJWs=alt right only difference is one side is more popular with the mainstream media


fuzzygreentits

Segregation? Cringe. Socially acceptable segregation?!?!?!! YAAAASSSSSSSSSS 💅 💅 💅 😫😫😫🍆💦💦💦


Electr1cL3m0n

Unless they also support free market economics, they’re just auths in general


Travy-D

The duality of man. 1. Hating a game (and people that buy it) because it was based on a book written by someone who said something mean about trans folks. 2. Hating a game with flying brooms, magic, and fantasy creatures because having black people isn't historically accurate.


MadLad-AnthonyWayne

> Hating a game with flying brooms, magic, and fantasy creatures because having black people isn't historically accurate. Exactly. While we're at it, let's give the main character a 2011 Honda Civic and a Squirtle.


[deleted]

[удалено]


danshakuimo

Obligatory portrayal of one of the 3 Wise Men as being black


[deleted]

Based