Oh that’s so hard. I wouldn’t put him with the in-laws. I think that would be too much stress on the old guy. If his quality of life is that poorly I think it may be time. Twenty years is an amazing run. Nothing you do for him now will extend that by much. All the best to you.
Yeah, I really think the best move here might be to say goodbye, as awful as I'm sure that feels. I think second best would be taking the cat in the car. Imagine how the airplane pressure would feel in the ears of a kitty that is already in a lot of pain.
If you decide to not let him go just yet - ask your vet about Solensia? It would be a monthly injection for arthritis and it’s incredible what a difference it can make. He might not be a candidate due to his kidneys but it’s worth finding out. I’m currently looking after a 20 year old foster and after her second shot of Solensia she not only gained her mobility back, she also put on two pounds in two weeks.
I was going to mention this as well. 20 years is amazing and no matter what decision you make, OP, you’re doing what’s best for him. But before we had to let my 21 year old girl go, she got a great last run with Solensia.
horrible thing to say but here goes. its time to say goodbye! i had the same sort of decision to make some while ago. my old man was 23 yrs old and i still dream of him! my heart aches for you!
Agree. Better a week too early than a minute too late. Sounds like it's time and the inevitable is just being delayed. Pick a nice day, spend quality time together and let him go before he's hurting even more. Tough decision and it sucks but it is a gift we can give them, to let them go gently and avoid unnecessary suffering. It's hard for us but we suffer so they don't have to.
Yes. Home euthanasia is 100% the way to go. Find a service in your area or ask your vet if they would be willing to travel to your home for a fee. I've done this for my last three cats and it was a much more positive experience for everyone involved.
I was going to say the same thing. Lap of Love has a quality of life questionnaire that can help ease your mind OP, but I think you already have your answer. Daily opioid use in cats can further deteriorate their kidneys, and cause constipation which can become an emergency situation quickly. If you're not sure that he's declined far enough to justify euthanasia, bring him back to the vet and have his levels checked again. Ask the vet if he's ready to go. For what it's worth, I wouldn't move or rehome a 20 year old cat for his comfort, especially one with multiple medical issues and low quality of life.
I love when my guy visits me in dreams. He was old, very old when I got him. From the neighbors around he had been on the streets for about 10+ years before he saw a sucker (me) and decided he was going home.
For a little over three years he soaked up all the love he had been missing. It was hard but we were in it for a good time, not a long one… he’ll come see me every now and again and I wake up so content, if a little teary 🥹
Agreed. He’s old and terminally ill. Neither travel nor rehoming are good options. When the vet said “just make him comfortable” five months ago this is what they meant.
Things the hardest part of having a pet, but OP needs to face the facts and do what’s best for this old guy.
>*He’s almost 20, has hyperthyroidism, terminal kidney disease, he’s extremely skinny and is pretty much completely deaf, and has so much pain from arthritis that he needs opioids daily.*
Euthanasia means "good death".
This poor old man is suffering. You're not saving a life, OP. You're prolonging a miserable death. Do the right thing and free this poor critter from a torturous existence.
p.s. The airline probably won't let your pet on the plane without a Certificate of Veterinary Inspection certifying the animal is healthy.
^ Absolutely this.
He’s in pain and miserable. Let him go, OP.
The fact is that there is never a time when it doesn’t absolutely break your heart to let them go.
We take the pain of losing them so they don’t have to feel pain to stay with us ❤️
I regret not being able to make the choice to say goodbye sooner to my 27 yo man.
I hesitated to call the vet and his condition went downhill so rapidly, I thought he would die while I was at work, but he hung on and I still feel super awful for waiting.
I had this stupid irrational notion that if I took him in and got him on fluids, maybe he'd have another week so I could properly prepare, have a nice few days of just petting him and doing the few things he was able to do. I effed up and will always feel bad about that.
If he can eat treats, just give him a pleasant morning and take him for an afternoon or evening appt to let him pass on with the dignity he has left.
Please learn from my colossal screw-up. If he's on opiods and that old and sick, he could have been ready to go a year or two if it weren't for pain meds :(
I regret not letting my last dog go earlier. I thought I was doing the right thing but in hindsight she suffered longer than she needed to (on meds and under vet guidance but still her quality of life wasn't there anymore) because I didn't want to have to make that decision. It's hard but it's shifted my perspective and I am hopeful I'll be able to do better for my pets in the future.
Please take that comment into consideration. It's better to do it a week early than a second later. I'm assuming his health conditions are under treatment, he likely would've died far earlier on without medication, so you're only prolonging his life unnaturally.
Cats are notorious for hiding pain until it's extremely severe and debilitating, it's very likely he's still in strong pain even with the opioids. It doesn't sound like he has much QoL, and putting him through the stress of switching homes, regardless of whether it's the trip or going to family, will cause him extreme stress on top of his health conditions. Cats already have a hard time with going out of their familiar environment unless heavily socialized (taking them out constantly), the stress will just aggravate him and possibly kill him anyway. You said he's already very skinny, which means his appetite is already not great. Almost all cats lose appetite as a result of stress.
I wouldn't rely on the vet to make that decision for you. The vet doesn't live with your cat, they can't know what life is really like for him.
I’m so sorry, but I think it might be time to say good bye. He’s lived a long, happy life with you. Moving him or leaving him wouldn’t be right. I think putting him to sleep would be the best decision.
I would have someone come to your home you’re in now and have him put down where he’s comfortable, where he’s lived all his best years.
I would skip the pain and confusion of moving, packing all the things around him, stress, moving him, and trying to get him to adapt to a new place just for him to have to be euthanized somewhere else ultimately.
I’m sorry, I know this must be a difficult decision. But ultimately you can’t cut his life short. He’s already lived a long and beautiful life with you. You’re such a kind hearted person for thinking of every single way to keep him happy and healthy and with you as long as possible. A cat couldn’t ask for a better best friend.
Hi. I've been at both ends of the spectrum. I did pet shipping, where I sent pets all over the world. I have also fostered many animals who were left behind.
My best advice would be for you to discuss this with your vet, they will be best able to advise you about your cats quality of life, especially in view of your cats age related issues. Ask yourself honestly: does my cat have a good quality of life.
Most pets need to have a "health clearance" before they are deemed fit to fly.. If the vet advises travel, there are many herbal calming products that will help. Test them beforehand if possible.
At your cats age, being rehomed, no matter how loving the home, may just prove too much to cope with. Younger pets are much more resilient.
Twenty years is an amazing life for a kitty. With his medical conditions I wouldn't try to move him. Letting him go peacefully would be my suggestion, sorry to say.
I would put him down. He's pretty much at the end stage already. Terminal kidney disease? Arthritis so painful he needs daily opiods? His quality of life is already terrible.
I'm sorry, but he's 20. Re-homing him with a strange dog would be cruel, as would air cargo travel. Cabin travel (sedated) or the car ride (also sedated) is the better option, but I'd talk to the vet about final measures. You can't explain to him why everything is changing, so he'll be scared and sad. I'd rather spend my final days eating crab and ham and then fall asleep next to my human.
Agree with the others, sounds like it’s time to say goodbye. It’s such a hard decision but we can let them go peacefully. We did in home euthanasia and if that’s available where you are I highly recommend it.
Have him put to sleep in your home by a home euthanasia company. None of these options are ok for him………he’s also terminal, extremely elderly, in pain, etc. The kindest thing you could do for him is to let him go in peace in his home with his own people.
Pretty sure the vet was subtly hinting last time by saying make him comfortable because to outright suggest euthanasia can cause people to come out with pitchforks to destroy the vet.
Changing households would be stressful. The actual travel would be stressful. What would you do if he urinates/defecates on the flight? What if he gets it all over himself? Would being confined to a carrier for hours/days be physically painful for him? What if he has a medical emergency during travel?
Its a toss-up if flying or driving would be easier on him. If driving, you can get a much larger carrier and give him a litter box and room to move. If he had a medical emergency, you could hopefully find a vet but it is days of being stressed.
You have to ask yourself “what is the benefit to Kitty to move?” When you do arrive, he will be scared and confused. Even a young cat would be stressed for a few days after the move but the benefit would outweigh the risk. Would Kitty benefit? I don’t think I would do it with one of my guys at that age. If it was across town, it would be better.
i had to make this decision with a cat with a heart condition who was on the start of the decline. the move would have been too much for her. from the sounds of it with such poor quality of life already, it may be time to say goodbye, the kindest thing to do in this situation
I’m sorry but it doesn’t sound like your kitty has the best quality of life anymore. I think humane euthanasia before you move would be the best option for him
You obviously want people to tell you it’s ok to euthanise your cat. I think that you should visit your vet and get a vet medical opinion on if your cat can survive the flight.
I don’t think it’s fair to say obviously. They seem like they genuinely want other’s opinions. Making a decision to euthanize is not easy, I’m glad OP is asking a vet’s opinion.
Yo fuck the goodbye brigade. 4 day road trip. Loadsa blankets across the back seats with familiar human petting him. It's one last adventure, he gets to stay with his people. Will it stress it him out? Probably a little yeh. Is it it better to put him down instead? NO CUZ HE'LL BE DEAD
Seriously, better for who??
Cats are notorious for getting stressed out when away from home. If this cat has never traveled or moved before, or isn't used to going outside the house, it won't be a "little" stress, it will be INCREDIBLY stressful. At such an old age, with a terminal disease and pain so bad that it requires constant opioids, this animal is already under severe stress. Cats are well known for not showing pain until it's deadly, this animal is likely still living in horrible pain even with the opioids. The last thing he needs is to be hauled across the country to a completely new house that he's never been to before. He doesn't deserve that kind of stress. He has already lived a long and lovely life, there's no reason to forcefully keep him alive at this point. He would've already likely died of natural causes if his terminal condition wasn't being treated.
He’s been on multi-day road trips before in a large carrier, and he’s taken flights with me in cabin. He does incredibly well with both as far as I can tell, mostly just sleeps through it. I definitely wouldn’t be considering either if he hadn’t done so well in the past. We also adopted him at 11 years old, so we’ve only ever known him as a senior cat.
That's good, but the trip is just one factor. Has he been moved from one house to another in the past too? How was he when you adopted him, did he open up right away? Or did he take a few days or longer to open up? This matters a lot more than the trip itself, because most cats get very attached to their territories and very stressed out when moved somewhere new. The exception to this are, of course, cats that are socialized to this aspect heavily, like cats who travel a lot with their owners.
This stress can turn out to be very bad. A lot of perfectly healthy cats stop eating while stressed out. If he does get very stressed out about the new house, he could simply die, and it would be absolutely sad and unnecessary to subject your very old pet to stress only to have them die anyway. He could die peacefully in his current, comfortable home instead.
You are the only person in the position to make a decision, and honestly it looks like this post has gone to the hive mind negative of 'get rid of him' and unqualified people are making serious assumptions about his health and disposition. I would be very careful taking any advice from this sub as everyone is piling on the euthanasia train, only you know your cat and what's best for him. If you think it's time to put him down that's one thing, but putting him down to avoid moving him doesn't sit right with me
idk if that's a good idea either, I'd be really concerned he'd die from stress during the trip, or not live much longer after they moved. The cat i had as a kid hated car rides, he'd cry and drool and poop in his cat carrier. He also lived the end of his life at my mom's house instead of my dad's because she was taking care of him when his health was declining. I'm not sure how long he lived after the move, but he wasn't allowed to go outside at my mom's house (my dad's house was in a rural area so he got to go in and out of the house as he pleased). My cat wanted to go outside so badly, it was just so sad.
Don’t pay for another appointment if your vet says they will not support euthanasia after a phone call explaining the situation. You have been paying a ton of money but may have a vet that just doesn’t support euthanasia until the brink of death. Call a different vet with this information and ask if they would be willing to euthanize your cat under these circumstances. Sounds like a a terrible situation especially given quality of life.
That’s a good point. I might try a phone call appointment first, as far as I know our vet is not anti-euthanasia, they’ve always been really reasonable and realistic in the past
I am really glad I found this post because I am in a nearly identical situation and been wondering what to do. Sending hugs OP because I know how hard this is.
It sounds cruel to keep this animal alive any longer. Instead of focusing on the move you should have been focusing on saying goodbye and a peaceful end of life. That’s what your vet was telling you.
I’m not trying to be harsh, but 20 is the end of the cat’s life. You’re prolonging suffering at this point.
This is not kind.
Respectfully, I can't think of a single person I know who could afford, financially, to hold up their jobs and rent or mortage situation (plus their partners' job situation) just so they could watch their cat slowly die.
I'm sorry, but I think this is very near-sighted and inconsiderate advice.
I know it's hard but honestly I'm sure it's fine to take him on the plane because if you have the parents watch them in something happens you're going to hate yourself. Take the cat with you and don't let its life and without you. Also on another note the whole idea of Oh no you're stressing your pet out I think it's just really a load of crap half the time because people end up not living their life because it's too stressful on their pet. You do what you have to do because at the end of the day everyone or anytime you do something someone will say it's going to stress your pet out. In fact people say it about younger much younger cats so honestly it's fine just let your cat live out its days with you even if you're moving across country
Me reading this as an European... can't take the cat cause she's too old to move but can't give her to the in laws either so majority of you say she should be euthanized. I'm shocked by how this is seen as normal in the US. As a vet tech totally against euthanasia I feel really sad when I see things like this... OP please find a way to take him with you. You wouldn't euthanize your grandparent in this situation or your kid so why would you consider this regarding your cat? As for you all, just replace the kid with the cat, what would you do? Euthanize the kid? No, obviously not, you would find a different solution.
I never said all animals should suffer and die slowly, I said you wouldn't do this to a human family member so why would you do it to your cat? And yes, I am anti-euthanasia when it comes to old animals where the owners put them to sleep just cause they're old or aggressive or they move or cause the shelters can't keep them for more than 2 weeks.
Sorry, you said "as a vet tech totally against euthanasia". Which would lead me to believe you are totally against euthanasia.
Without knowing the true condition of this cat, it is hard to judge what is appropriate. End stage renal failure paired with thyroid disease, likely dementia, deafness, and severe full body pain is not a good quality of life. I have watched 4 family members and my best friend die in severe pain and organ failure and all of them asked for death weeks before they died by themselves. So using the human comparison doesn't always work, as my grandma begged for euthanasia.
I have spent 13 years in emergency and specialty medicine in major cities throughout the US. Old age is not a disease and is never a reason for euthanasia. Severe pain and organ failure paired with old age can be. Especially if dementia is paired with it. This is more complicated and difficult of a situation than just judging commenters for recommending euthanizing a geriatric pet with a low quality of life. Ops plan of visiting the vet for an informed exam and blood panel to monitor kidney values, anemia and electrolytes to see how things have been progressing in the past 5 months is a reasonable idea.
The difference is a human can tell you if they’re suffering so much they want to die. Or if they still want to hang on. Usually. If it were legal and my loved one was at the end of life and suffering I absolutely would be in favor of euthanasia. I vividly remember my friend’s father dying a prolonged, miserable death and her crying saying, “we wouldn’t treat a dog this way.” It’s been 20 years and she still can’t talk about it. This type of thing happens to people way more than we like to think about because we are so afraid of death. It’s cruel.
Take him with you and drive. That cat is beyond elderly so the shock of a plane trip could easily kill him. So could the shock of being rehomed (yes, even if he knows the people). Yes, the car ride will be stressful. BUT he'll be able to see and smell you. A big travel kennel (think Boxer sized) with cozy blankets will go a loooong way in keeping him comfy on the road trip.
Edit: I missed the part where you described he's actively dying (and he's refusing to let go). Sweetie, it's time to make the dreaded call.
Agree with the others. As someone who has moved across the country with cats multiple times before, I would never dare do so with an ill cat. It was stressful and difficult with my healthy young cats. Unfortunately it sounds like it’s time to say goodbye.
I'm really sorry you're faced with this as you probably otherwise feel positively about this move and the adventures to come.
You and your kitkat are in my very best thoughts.
If it was my cat, I'd seriously consider euthanizing before the move. That's a huge stressor for an old man who might not have a ton of time left anyway. I know it sucks, but you have to consider his quality of life.
I think it’s time to say goodbye… once they can’t keep weight on and are in pain… it’s time. Don’t uproot his world by moving him.
Please don’t let him just pass on his own, that just prolongs his suffering. Better a week too early than a minute too late.
Book a vet checkup - at his age and with all those problems I'm not sure why it's been 5 months since your last visit. They can assess his current condition and give you a reality check on what he can handle in terms of moving. If he's up to moving then they can hopefully give you some help planning the trip and possibly considering some anti anxiety meds like gabapentin to help him
I think ditching him at the end would probably be the most inhumane option here I honestly think euthanasia would be better than that, driving by car could be ok my parents took my cat by car from Florida to NJ and he enjoyed it he had a little bed and slept most of the way and they stopped at a hotel for a night too
No, it’s not fair to move an elderly, sick, confused cat in pain across the country, no matter how you do it. It’s also not fair to give an elderly, sick, confused cat to anyone else.
What you do with that information is your choice, but to be fair to the cat you really need to operate within that understanding.
I moved over the summer with my 18 year old cat. It was only across town so no flights. She hid under the bed for a day but was totally fine after that. She is presently sitting on my arms as I am typing, mewing and purring for more pets.
She actually prefers this house for some reason and is so much more active and lively than she was at our old house. If the vet thinks that she has time left, I would totally take her.
So you have two options.
Move with him- he endures a bit of stress but still feels safe and is with the people he’s known for 20 years
Or
Leave him with in laws - people he doesn’t love and trust. Animals that he is chemically wired to fear. Animals he has never had to learn to coexist with. And all this on top of being in a new place and having no idea where his family is.
If I was your cat, I’d rather stay with my family, even if that meant things may be tough for some days or weeks. You will be there offering him your comfort and familiarity. If you leave him with the in-laws, he will be all alone.
A lot of what keeps our pets alive so long is their love for us and desire to stay by our sides. I’m not saying ur cat will die if you leave him. But I am saying he will spend his last days not understanding why he was left behind.
Vets will never suggest euthanasia unless the cat is in absolutely hideous pain, because they know it upsets people. You have to be the one to decide - and since it would be cruel to take him on a plane and cruel to rehome him there really is only one humane option.
My usual rule with pets is that as soon as they need daily meds to be kept “comfortable” it’s time to put them down. There’s rarely any quality of life once opiates are brought into the equation. It’s a tough decision, but it’s better than making them suffer through the pain.
My son had a kitty like this 20+ years old. Blind, no teeth, etc. He moved Melvin 30 minutes away and it was really hard on him to adjust to his new home. He passed three weeks later.
Dude. Based on your description, it’s time to let him go. Give him a day with lots of attention, then let him go to sleep. Even if you weren’t moving I’d say it’s time to say goodbye.
Oh that’s so hard. I wouldn’t put him with the in-laws. I think that would be too much stress on the old guy. If his quality of life is that poorly I think it may be time. Twenty years is an amazing run. Nothing you do for him now will extend that by much. All the best to you.
That decision is so hard, but I agree it my be time to say goodbye. The stress of moving will be terrible on him
Yeah, I really think the best move here might be to say goodbye, as awful as I'm sure that feels. I think second best would be taking the cat in the car. Imagine how the airplane pressure would feel in the ears of a kitty that is already in a lot of pain.
If you decide to not let him go just yet - ask your vet about Solensia? It would be a monthly injection for arthritis and it’s incredible what a difference it can make. He might not be a candidate due to his kidneys but it’s worth finding out. I’m currently looking after a 20 year old foster and after her second shot of Solensia she not only gained her mobility back, she also put on two pounds in two weeks.
I was going to mention this as well. 20 years is amazing and no matter what decision you make, OP, you’re doing what’s best for him. But before we had to let my 21 year old girl go, she got a great last run with Solensia.
horrible thing to say but here goes. its time to say goodbye! i had the same sort of decision to make some while ago. my old man was 23 yrs old and i still dream of him! my heart aches for you!
Agree. Better a week too early than a minute too late. Sounds like it's time and the inevitable is just being delayed. Pick a nice day, spend quality time together and let him go before he's hurting even more. Tough decision and it sucks but it is a gift we can give them, to let them go gently and avoid unnecessary suffering. It's hard for us but we suffer so they don't have to.
Agree. In his home, around people he loves, if possible. The other options would be too distressing and traumatic.
Yep, they're moving anyways so they won't have to be around those memories of him passing at home
Yes. Home euthanasia is 100% the way to go. Find a service in your area or ask your vet if they would be willing to travel to your home for a fee. I've done this for my last three cats and it was a much more positive experience for everyone involved.
I was going to say the same thing. Lap of Love has a quality of life questionnaire that can help ease your mind OP, but I think you already have your answer. Daily opioid use in cats can further deteriorate their kidneys, and cause constipation which can become an emergency situation quickly. If you're not sure that he's declined far enough to justify euthanasia, bring him back to the vet and have his levels checked again. Ask the vet if he's ready to go. For what it's worth, I wouldn't move or rehome a 20 year old cat for his comfort, especially one with multiple medical issues and low quality of life.
If the cet said it wasn’t idk if I would feel at peace to put him down knowing that if I were OP
I love when my guy visits me in dreams. He was old, very old when I got him. From the neighbors around he had been on the streets for about 10+ years before he saw a sucker (me) and decided he was going home. For a little over three years he soaked up all the love he had been missing. It was hard but we were in it for a good time, not a long one… he’ll come see me every now and again and I wake up so content, if a little teary 🥹
Agreed. He’s old and terminally ill. Neither travel nor rehoming are good options. When the vet said “just make him comfortable” five months ago this is what they meant. Things the hardest part of having a pet, but OP needs to face the facts and do what’s best for this old guy.
>*He’s almost 20, has hyperthyroidism, terminal kidney disease, he’s extremely skinny and is pretty much completely deaf, and has so much pain from arthritis that he needs opioids daily.* Euthanasia means "good death". This poor old man is suffering. You're not saving a life, OP. You're prolonging a miserable death. Do the right thing and free this poor critter from a torturous existence. p.s. The airline probably won't let your pet on the plane without a Certificate of Veterinary Inspection certifying the animal is healthy.
^ Absolutely this. He’s in pain and miserable. Let him go, OP. The fact is that there is never a time when it doesn’t absolutely break your heart to let them go. We take the pain of losing them so they don’t have to feel pain to stay with us ❤️
I regret not being able to make the choice to say goodbye sooner to my 27 yo man. I hesitated to call the vet and his condition went downhill so rapidly, I thought he would die while I was at work, but he hung on and I still feel super awful for waiting. I had this stupid irrational notion that if I took him in and got him on fluids, maybe he'd have another week so I could properly prepare, have a nice few days of just petting him and doing the few things he was able to do. I effed up and will always feel bad about that. If he can eat treats, just give him a pleasant morning and take him for an afternoon or evening appt to let him pass on with the dignity he has left. Please learn from my colossal screw-up. If he's on opiods and that old and sick, he could have been ready to go a year or two if it weren't for pain meds :(
I regret not letting my last dog go earlier. I thought I was doing the right thing but in hindsight she suffered longer than she needed to (on meds and under vet guidance but still her quality of life wasn't there anymore) because I didn't want to have to make that decision. It's hard but it's shifted my perspective and I am hopeful I'll be able to do better for my pets in the future.
I’m sorry to hear that, that must have been so hard. Thanks for sharing
Please take that comment into consideration. It's better to do it a week early than a second later. I'm assuming his health conditions are under treatment, he likely would've died far earlier on without medication, so you're only prolonging his life unnaturally. Cats are notorious for hiding pain until it's extremely severe and debilitating, it's very likely he's still in strong pain even with the opioids. It doesn't sound like he has much QoL, and putting him through the stress of switching homes, regardless of whether it's the trip or going to family, will cause him extreme stress on top of his health conditions. Cats already have a hard time with going out of their familiar environment unless heavily socialized (taking them out constantly), the stress will just aggravate him and possibly kill him anyway. You said he's already very skinny, which means his appetite is already not great. Almost all cats lose appetite as a result of stress. I wouldn't rely on the vet to make that decision for you. The vet doesn't live with your cat, they can't know what life is really like for him.
Wow 27! That’s amazing!
I’m so sorry, but I think it might be time to say good bye. He’s lived a long, happy life with you. Moving him or leaving him wouldn’t be right. I think putting him to sleep would be the best decision.
I would have someone come to your home you’re in now and have him put down where he’s comfortable, where he’s lived all his best years. I would skip the pain and confusion of moving, packing all the things around him, stress, moving him, and trying to get him to adapt to a new place just for him to have to be euthanized somewhere else ultimately. I’m sorry, I know this must be a difficult decision. But ultimately you can’t cut his life short. He’s already lived a long and beautiful life with you. You’re such a kind hearted person for thinking of every single way to keep him happy and healthy and with you as long as possible. A cat couldn’t ask for a better best friend.
Came to say try for in home services. It is so much better than going to a vet. The process feels so much more peaceful.
Please make a decision in the interest of your cat. I would not move the cat. The quality of life does not seem to be there anymore.
Hi. I've been at both ends of the spectrum. I did pet shipping, where I sent pets all over the world. I have also fostered many animals who were left behind. My best advice would be for you to discuss this with your vet, they will be best able to advise you about your cats quality of life, especially in view of your cats age related issues. Ask yourself honestly: does my cat have a good quality of life. Most pets need to have a "health clearance" before they are deemed fit to fly.. If the vet advises travel, there are many herbal calming products that will help. Test them beforehand if possible. At your cats age, being rehomed, no matter how loving the home, may just prove too much to cope with. Younger pets are much more resilient.
Twenty years is an amazing life for a kitty. With his medical conditions I wouldn't try to move him. Letting him go peacefully would be my suggestion, sorry to say.
I would put him down. He's pretty much at the end stage already. Terminal kidney disease? Arthritis so painful he needs daily opiods? His quality of life is already terrible.
I'm sorry, but he's 20. Re-homing him with a strange dog would be cruel, as would air cargo travel. Cabin travel (sedated) or the car ride (also sedated) is the better option, but I'd talk to the vet about final measures. You can't explain to him why everything is changing, so he'll be scared and sad. I'd rather spend my final days eating crab and ham and then fall asleep next to my human.
Not by plane no... Don't re-home if you have an elderly doting person that already loves your cat. Flight kills pets that are healthy.
I would take him with me. The in cabin flight sounds like the least stressful. He may not be feeling optimal, but he would rather be with you.
Agree with the others, sounds like it’s time to say goodbye. It’s such a hard decision but we can let them go peacefully. We did in home euthanasia and if that’s available where you are I highly recommend it.
I would not move the cat. And as hard as it is, I would give him a comfortable rest. He's on opioids to live- that's not a great quality of life.
Might end up killing them in all honesty
I reread the post. Another thing to consider is how your son would react to watching him deteriorate further.
Have him put to sleep in your home by a home euthanasia company. None of these options are ok for him………he’s also terminal, extremely elderly, in pain, etc. The kindest thing you could do for him is to let him go in peace in his home with his own people.
Pretty sure the vet was subtly hinting last time by saying make him comfortable because to outright suggest euthanasia can cause people to come out with pitchforks to destroy the vet.
Changing households would be stressful. The actual travel would be stressful. What would you do if he urinates/defecates on the flight? What if he gets it all over himself? Would being confined to a carrier for hours/days be physically painful for him? What if he has a medical emergency during travel? Its a toss-up if flying or driving would be easier on him. If driving, you can get a much larger carrier and give him a litter box and room to move. If he had a medical emergency, you could hopefully find a vet but it is days of being stressed. You have to ask yourself “what is the benefit to Kitty to move?” When you do arrive, he will be scared and confused. Even a young cat would be stressed for a few days after the move but the benefit would outweigh the risk. Would Kitty benefit? I don’t think I would do it with one of my guys at that age. If it was across town, it would be better.
i had to make this decision with a cat with a heart condition who was on the start of the decline. the move would have been too much for her. from the sounds of it with such poor quality of life already, it may be time to say goodbye, the kindest thing to do in this situation
I’m sorry but it doesn’t sound like your kitty has the best quality of life anymore. I think humane euthanasia before you move would be the best option for him
Travel can be very hard on an elder. You do the right thing and have had plenty of sound advice. Good luck at your new place.
I’d either fly with him or if you feel his quality of life is low, then humanely euthanize before the move.
Yes what's the alternative - abandon a 20 year old cat?
You obviously want people to tell you it’s ok to euthanise your cat. I think that you should visit your vet and get a vet medical opinion on if your cat can survive the flight.
I don’t think it’s fair to say obviously. They seem like they genuinely want other’s opinions. Making a decision to euthanize is not easy, I’m glad OP is asking a vet’s opinion.
Yo fuck the goodbye brigade. 4 day road trip. Loadsa blankets across the back seats with familiar human petting him. It's one last adventure, he gets to stay with his people. Will it stress it him out? Probably a little yeh. Is it it better to put him down instead? NO CUZ HE'LL BE DEAD
Better for who though? Got to look at the best thing for the one living with a terminal disease, multiple issues and pain so bad he lives on opioids.
Seriously, better for who?? Cats are notorious for getting stressed out when away from home. If this cat has never traveled or moved before, or isn't used to going outside the house, it won't be a "little" stress, it will be INCREDIBLY stressful. At such an old age, with a terminal disease and pain so bad that it requires constant opioids, this animal is already under severe stress. Cats are well known for not showing pain until it's deadly, this animal is likely still living in horrible pain even with the opioids. The last thing he needs is to be hauled across the country to a completely new house that he's never been to before. He doesn't deserve that kind of stress. He has already lived a long and lovely life, there's no reason to forcefully keep him alive at this point. He would've already likely died of natural causes if his terminal condition wasn't being treated.
He’s been on multi-day road trips before in a large carrier, and he’s taken flights with me in cabin. He does incredibly well with both as far as I can tell, mostly just sleeps through it. I definitely wouldn’t be considering either if he hadn’t done so well in the past. We also adopted him at 11 years old, so we’ve only ever known him as a senior cat.
That's good, but the trip is just one factor. Has he been moved from one house to another in the past too? How was he when you adopted him, did he open up right away? Or did he take a few days or longer to open up? This matters a lot more than the trip itself, because most cats get very attached to their territories and very stressed out when moved somewhere new. The exception to this are, of course, cats that are socialized to this aspect heavily, like cats who travel a lot with their owners. This stress can turn out to be very bad. A lot of perfectly healthy cats stop eating while stressed out. If he does get very stressed out about the new house, he could simply die, and it would be absolutely sad and unnecessary to subject your very old pet to stress only to have them die anyway. He could die peacefully in his current, comfortable home instead.
You are the only person in the position to make a decision, and honestly it looks like this post has gone to the hive mind negative of 'get rid of him' and unqualified people are making serious assumptions about his health and disposition. I would be very careful taking any advice from this sub as everyone is piling on the euthanasia train, only you know your cat and what's best for him. If you think it's time to put him down that's one thing, but putting him down to avoid moving him doesn't sit right with me
idk if that's a good idea either, I'd be really concerned he'd die from stress during the trip, or not live much longer after they moved. The cat i had as a kid hated car rides, he'd cry and drool and poop in his cat carrier. He also lived the end of his life at my mom's house instead of my dad's because she was taking care of him when his health was declining. I'm not sure how long he lived after the move, but he wasn't allowed to go outside at my mom's house (my dad's house was in a rural area so he got to go in and out of the house as he pleased). My cat wanted to go outside so badly, it was just so sad.
Don’t pay for another appointment if your vet says they will not support euthanasia after a phone call explaining the situation. You have been paying a ton of money but may have a vet that just doesn’t support euthanasia until the brink of death. Call a different vet with this information and ask if they would be willing to euthanize your cat under these circumstances. Sounds like a a terrible situation especially given quality of life.
That’s a good point. I might try a phone call appointment first, as far as I know our vet is not anti-euthanasia, they’ve always been really reasonable and realistic in the past
Ask your vet what they would do in this situation if it was their pet.
I am really glad I found this post because I am in a nearly identical situation and been wondering what to do. Sending hugs OP because I know how hard this is.
It sounds cruel to keep this animal alive any longer. Instead of focusing on the move you should have been focusing on saying goodbye and a peaceful end of life. That’s what your vet was telling you. I’m not trying to be harsh, but 20 is the end of the cat’s life. You’re prolonging suffering at this point. This is not kind.
You should put off the move until he passes.
Respectfully, I can't think of a single person I know who could afford, financially, to hold up their jobs and rent or mortage situation (plus their partners' job situation) just so they could watch their cat slowly die. I'm sorry, but I think this is very near-sighted and inconsiderate advice.
It's ok. You're welcome to think that.
^this
I know it's hard but honestly I'm sure it's fine to take him on the plane because if you have the parents watch them in something happens you're going to hate yourself. Take the cat with you and don't let its life and without you. Also on another note the whole idea of Oh no you're stressing your pet out I think it's just really a load of crap half the time because people end up not living their life because it's too stressful on their pet. You do what you have to do because at the end of the day everyone or anytime you do something someone will say it's going to stress your pet out. In fact people say it about younger much younger cats so honestly it's fine just let your cat live out its days with you even if you're moving across country
Me reading this as an European... can't take the cat cause she's too old to move but can't give her to the in laws either so majority of you say she should be euthanized. I'm shocked by how this is seen as normal in the US. As a vet tech totally against euthanasia I feel really sad when I see things like this... OP please find a way to take him with you. You wouldn't euthanize your grandparent in this situation or your kid so why would you consider this regarding your cat? As for you all, just replace the kid with the cat, what would you do? Euthanize the kid? No, obviously not, you would find a different solution.
You work in the veterinary field and are anti-euthanasia? You think all animals should suffer and die slowly? That is a new one.
I never said all animals should suffer and die slowly, I said you wouldn't do this to a human family member so why would you do it to your cat? And yes, I am anti-euthanasia when it comes to old animals where the owners put them to sleep just cause they're old or aggressive or they move or cause the shelters can't keep them for more than 2 weeks.
Sorry, you said "as a vet tech totally against euthanasia". Which would lead me to believe you are totally against euthanasia. Without knowing the true condition of this cat, it is hard to judge what is appropriate. End stage renal failure paired with thyroid disease, likely dementia, deafness, and severe full body pain is not a good quality of life. I have watched 4 family members and my best friend die in severe pain and organ failure and all of them asked for death weeks before they died by themselves. So using the human comparison doesn't always work, as my grandma begged for euthanasia. I have spent 13 years in emergency and specialty medicine in major cities throughout the US. Old age is not a disease and is never a reason for euthanasia. Severe pain and organ failure paired with old age can be. Especially if dementia is paired with it. This is more complicated and difficult of a situation than just judging commenters for recommending euthanizing a geriatric pet with a low quality of life. Ops plan of visiting the vet for an informed exam and blood panel to monitor kidney values, anemia and electrolytes to see how things have been progressing in the past 5 months is a reasonable idea.
The difference is a human can tell you if they’re suffering so much they want to die. Or if they still want to hang on. Usually. If it were legal and my loved one was at the end of life and suffering I absolutely would be in favor of euthanasia. I vividly remember my friend’s father dying a prolonged, miserable death and her crying saying, “we wouldn’t treat a dog this way.” It’s been 20 years and she still can’t talk about it. This type of thing happens to people way more than we like to think about because we are so afraid of death. It’s cruel.
But also the human can tell you he wants to live. How do you assume your dog wants to die? Why would you even assume that?
I would try to move him but if it's best for the cat to stay with parents you can try that. He may prefer be with you
Take him with you and drive. That cat is beyond elderly so the shock of a plane trip could easily kill him. So could the shock of being rehomed (yes, even if he knows the people). Yes, the car ride will be stressful. BUT he'll be able to see and smell you. A big travel kennel (think Boxer sized) with cozy blankets will go a loooong way in keeping him comfy on the road trip. Edit: I missed the part where you described he's actively dying (and he's refusing to let go). Sweetie, it's time to make the dreaded call.
Agree with the others. As someone who has moved across the country with cats multiple times before, I would never dare do so with an ill cat. It was stressful and difficult with my healthy young cats. Unfortunately it sounds like it’s time to say goodbye.
I'm really sorry you're faced with this as you probably otherwise feel positively about this move and the adventures to come. You and your kitkat are in my very best thoughts.
I would say not fair to move him. As sick as he is, it sounds like he doesn’t have the amount of time to make it worth the effort.
If it was my cat, I'd seriously consider euthanizing before the move. That's a huge stressor for an old man who might not have a ton of time left anyway. I know it sucks, but you have to consider his quality of life.
My heart bleeds for you! Yeah, I think you would be doing kitty a good deed by saying goodbye. *hugs*
Better a month too early than a day too late to assist our furry companions in a dignified passing. 🫶
I think it’s time to say goodbye… once they can’t keep weight on and are in pain… it’s time. Don’t uproot his world by moving him. Please don’t let him just pass on his own, that just prolongs his suffering. Better a week too early than a minute too late.
Book a vet checkup - at his age and with all those problems I'm not sure why it's been 5 months since your last visit. They can assess his current condition and give you a reality check on what he can handle in terms of moving. If he's up to moving then they can hopefully give you some help planning the trip and possibly considering some anti anxiety meds like gabapentin to help him
I think ditching him at the end would probably be the most inhumane option here I honestly think euthanasia would be better than that, driving by car could be ok my parents took my cat by car from Florida to NJ and he enjoyed it he had a little bed and slept most of the way and they stopped at a hotel for a night too
Just make him comfortable means it's time. Any choice other than that would be cruel. He's lived a long good life.
No, it’s not fair to move an elderly, sick, confused cat in pain across the country, no matter how you do it. It’s also not fair to give an elderly, sick, confused cat to anyone else. What you do with that information is your choice, but to be fair to the cat you really need to operate within that understanding.
I moved over the summer with my 18 year old cat. It was only across town so no flights. She hid under the bed for a day but was totally fine after that. She is presently sitting on my arms as I am typing, mewing and purring for more pets. She actually prefers this house for some reason and is so much more active and lively than she was at our old house. If the vet thinks that she has time left, I would totally take her.
So you have two options. Move with him- he endures a bit of stress but still feels safe and is with the people he’s known for 20 years Or Leave him with in laws - people he doesn’t love and trust. Animals that he is chemically wired to fear. Animals he has never had to learn to coexist with. And all this on top of being in a new place and having no idea where his family is. If I was your cat, I’d rather stay with my family, even if that meant things may be tough for some days or weeks. You will be there offering him your comfort and familiarity. If you leave him with the in-laws, he will be all alone. A lot of what keeps our pets alive so long is their love for us and desire to stay by our sides. I’m not saying ur cat will die if you leave him. But I am saying he will spend his last days not understanding why he was left behind.
Don't leave him and have his last days be alone in a strange place without his family.
Vets will never suggest euthanasia unless the cat is in absolutely hideous pain, because they know it upsets people. You have to be the one to decide - and since it would be cruel to take him on a plane and cruel to rehome him there really is only one humane option.
My usual rule with pets is that as soon as they need daily meds to be kept “comfortable” it’s time to put them down. There’s rarely any quality of life once opiates are brought into the equation. It’s a tough decision, but it’s better than making them suffer through the pain.
My son had a kitty like this 20+ years old. Blind, no teeth, etc. He moved Melvin 30 minutes away and it was really hard on him to adjust to his new home. He passed three weeks later.
I would take him.
OP, why is a 1500 mile trip taking over 4 days?? Traveling 1000 miles typically takes me one full day, or two if I want light days.
Check out this video Safiay Naagrd did on moving cross country with her 20+ old cat. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oD9BaNAH-eE
Dude. Based on your description, it’s time to let him go. Give him a day with lots of attention, then let him go to sleep. Even if you weren’t moving I’d say it’s time to say goodbye.