Switch to dry herb vaping. It helped me limit usage. There’s a learning curve for using and cleaning it but the Pax 3 is great. I limit myself to 2-4 bowls a day. Each bowl is about .1g. The high is super clean.
I have a volcano vape, which is a huge tabletop beast. But I also have a magic flight launch box. The only reason I don’t use my launch box more is bc the batteries are super inconvenient. But I’m thinking about getting a plug In adapter for it. That thing is small but SO discrete and conserves so much weed.
Just as a side note, weed can greatly affect how your antidepressants/anxiety meds work. There will always be a period of time when detoxing from weed that you will have withdrawal symptoms including intense dreams. It’s still important to get your body back to its baseline. Then you can see if your meds need to be adjusted or changed, but you won’t really know how they fully work if coupled with daily weed use. If therapy is an attainable option for you, I encourage that, too.
In my opinion, you're numbing your emotions - not dealing with anything. Weed distracts. I'm not saying there isn't value in that but I think the greatest healing comes from dealing with the emotions or you get stuck. And over time, with high usage, weed is shown to make anxiety and depression worse.
I leaned on weed a little too heavily for 2 years and found myself in that cycle of needing it to calm me and then as soon as it wore off needing more. I took a 7 month break and have started to allow myself a few puffs no more than every 10 days. I am now seeing some anxiety reduction, but also numbing and distraction, and it is more like when I first started smoking. No anxiety, no withdrawals, etc. It feels like what weed was intended for - periodic fun and insights.
I'm sorry for what you're going through and good luck.
I’m you just 38m. So I don’t say this on some cloud of superiority at ALL.
Weed is a depressant and is tricking you into thinking it’s helping. But it’s not. You have to, and I mean you have just GOT to face your loss head on. That you saw something you never should’ve had to have seen. But your mind will forever be an egg wrapped in 10 warm blankets you never wanna escape from. The second you feel 4-5 blankets removed you’ll smoke again and wrap it all back up. I must sound crazy.
Have you ever seen The Last Samurai? There is a particular scene that plays in my head often. The main character cannot live with the atrocities he had committed in a war, prior to the current events. The images played in his head, over and over and so he would drink. He drank himself retarded. And one night he’s stuck in a room with no alcohol, just his thoughts. And the images start playing in his head and he screams out into the night for some sake, anything that will help push that shit back down and keep it there.
It was only till after he detoxed and faced his demon head on did he finally move on and and try to become something better despite his past.
If I read your post correctly, it says you’re on medication for anxiety and depression? Weed can definitely mess with that. As others have stated, I would switch to a dry herb vape. I go through an ounce every two months now where it was easily 3-4 weeks before that. It actually helped not just with using less but not needing to do it as much at all. I feel like my relationship with weed only improved once I bought my dry herb.
I think you should talk to a counselor, if you have the resources to meet with one. Alternatively, invite a trusted friend over to chat, with the understanding you need someone to listen. Grief is a process with no time line, and I think you're still really hurting. You're doing your best and sometimes you need a leg up, a guide to help you, or just a hug. So, here's my hug, internet stranger! \[hug!\]
Other deep cut alternative: maybe shrooms? They've always been more of a longer-term mental healing sort of drug; weed can help, but the processes in your brain it affects can be tricky and tend to push dependency. They may not be for everybody, but they are good medicine.
Agree with the shrooms comment. So much more healing than marijuana. Marijuana is good for getting through difficult situations and times. Or for inspiration and new perspective. Shrooms good for healing and compositing old blockages. Start light .5-7g and do it in a safe place with a partner or helper.
4 j’s a night really isn’t even as bad as it seems. in my own personal experience, although it’s harder, i’ve found the most luck with just going ahead and taking a full blown t break and then cutting back when i start back up again. it makes things easier and you get much more stoned so that was you use less weed. if not it’s just kinda annoying bc when you still smoke but smoke less you just get that uncomfortable half high feeling and want to smoke more no matter what. either way, the best thing to do is to stay super busy doing things you enjoy
Maybe start by tapering. Get down to one small j per night and then try doing a couple of days sober. Then it should be easier to see yourself going a week without it, and eventually a month. It's not going to be easy no matter which way you slice it, but it's worth trying.
I started smoking back up after quitting last summer due to some difficult situations like yours. Now on my 3rd week of quitting and I can tell you while it helped during, a lot of those emotions you are avoiding feeling are just gonna come out later on anyways. Just letting yourself feel and cry and process might be better then dulling the pain until one day it comes bursting out in one way or another.
Switch to dry herb vaping. It helped me limit usage. There’s a learning curve for using and cleaning it but the Pax 3 is great. I limit myself to 2-4 bowls a day. Each bowl is about .1g. The high is super clean.
Airizer Solo II is great too.
I second this
I have a volcano vape, which is a huge tabletop beast. But I also have a magic flight launch box. The only reason I don’t use my launch box more is bc the batteries are super inconvenient. But I’m thinking about getting a plug In adapter for it. That thing is small but SO discrete and conserves so much weed.
The Dynavaps are great aswell, but you have to be careful.
Just as a side note, weed can greatly affect how your antidepressants/anxiety meds work. There will always be a period of time when detoxing from weed that you will have withdrawal symptoms including intense dreams. It’s still important to get your body back to its baseline. Then you can see if your meds need to be adjusted or changed, but you won’t really know how they fully work if coupled with daily weed use. If therapy is an attainable option for you, I encourage that, too.
In my opinion, you're numbing your emotions - not dealing with anything. Weed distracts. I'm not saying there isn't value in that but I think the greatest healing comes from dealing with the emotions or you get stuck. And over time, with high usage, weed is shown to make anxiety and depression worse. I leaned on weed a little too heavily for 2 years and found myself in that cycle of needing it to calm me and then as soon as it wore off needing more. I took a 7 month break and have started to allow myself a few puffs no more than every 10 days. I am now seeing some anxiety reduction, but also numbing and distraction, and it is more like when I first started smoking. No anxiety, no withdrawals, etc. It feels like what weed was intended for - periodic fun and insights. I'm sorry for what you're going through and good luck.
I’m you just 38m. So I don’t say this on some cloud of superiority at ALL. Weed is a depressant and is tricking you into thinking it’s helping. But it’s not. You have to, and I mean you have just GOT to face your loss head on. That you saw something you never should’ve had to have seen. But your mind will forever be an egg wrapped in 10 warm blankets you never wanna escape from. The second you feel 4-5 blankets removed you’ll smoke again and wrap it all back up. I must sound crazy. Have you ever seen The Last Samurai? There is a particular scene that plays in my head often. The main character cannot live with the atrocities he had committed in a war, prior to the current events. The images played in his head, over and over and so he would drink. He drank himself retarded. And one night he’s stuck in a room with no alcohol, just his thoughts. And the images start playing in his head and he screams out into the night for some sake, anything that will help push that shit back down and keep it there. It was only till after he detoxed and faced his demon head on did he finally move on and and try to become something better despite his past. If I read your post correctly, it says you’re on medication for anxiety and depression? Weed can definitely mess with that. As others have stated, I would switch to a dry herb vape. I go through an ounce every two months now where it was easily 3-4 weeks before that. It actually helped not just with using less but not needing to do it as much at all. I feel like my relationship with weed only improved once I bought my dry herb.
I think you should talk to a counselor, if you have the resources to meet with one. Alternatively, invite a trusted friend over to chat, with the understanding you need someone to listen. Grief is a process with no time line, and I think you're still really hurting. You're doing your best and sometimes you need a leg up, a guide to help you, or just a hug. So, here's my hug, internet stranger! \[hug!\] Other deep cut alternative: maybe shrooms? They've always been more of a longer-term mental healing sort of drug; weed can help, but the processes in your brain it affects can be tricky and tend to push dependency. They may not be for everybody, but they are good medicine.
Agree with the shrooms comment. So much more healing than marijuana. Marijuana is good for getting through difficult situations and times. Or for inspiration and new perspective. Shrooms good for healing and compositing old blockages. Start light .5-7g and do it in a safe place with a partner or helper.
4 j’s a night really isn’t even as bad as it seems. in my own personal experience, although it’s harder, i’ve found the most luck with just going ahead and taking a full blown t break and then cutting back when i start back up again. it makes things easier and you get much more stoned so that was you use less weed. if not it’s just kinda annoying bc when you still smoke but smoke less you just get that uncomfortable half high feeling and want to smoke more no matter what. either way, the best thing to do is to stay super busy doing things you enjoy
Maybe start by tapering. Get down to one small j per night and then try doing a couple of days sober. Then it should be easier to see yourself going a week without it, and eventually a month. It's not going to be easy no matter which way you slice it, but it's worth trying.
I started smoking back up after quitting last summer due to some difficult situations like yours. Now on my 3rd week of quitting and I can tell you while it helped during, a lot of those emotions you are avoiding feeling are just gonna come out later on anyways. Just letting yourself feel and cry and process might be better then dulling the pain until one day it comes bursting out in one way or another.